New York Magazine

WHEN You Cheat in an Open Marriage

SIX WEEKS after #MeToo hit, I had sex with a man who asked for permission when he wanted to touch me somewhere new. I was straddling him in a back seat, skirt up around my waist. My mascara was on his face, his thighs. It seemed obvious to me that he was welcome to touch me wherever. But I knew I was supposed to want him to ask. At one point he got ahead of himself and froze with two fingers inside me. “Sorry, is this okay?” In response, I tilted my hips to slide his fingers in deeper. I hoped it didn’t seem like I didn’t appreciate his respect.

After that, we met up every few weeks for long afternoons of sex and talk—about books, our childhoods, how he’d laughed and wept watching the eclipse. Then

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1 In New York’s most recent issue, Alice Hines revealed how the misogynistic young men who call themselves incels (for “involuntarily celibate”) are going under the knife to alter their faces and, they hope, their dating prospects (“How Many Bones Wo