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    Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited
    Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited
    Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited
    Audiobook9 hours

    Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited

    Written by Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein

    Narrated by Alma Cuervo and Effie Johnson

    3.5/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    Elyse Schein had always known she was adopted, but it wasn't until her mid-thirties while living in Paris that she searched for her biological mother. What she found instead was shocking: She had an identical twin sister. What's more, after being separated as infants, she and her sister had been, for a time, part of a secret study on separated twins. Paula Bernstein, a married writer and mother living in New York, also knew she was adopted, but had no inclination to find her birth mother. When she answered a call from her adoption agency one spring afternoon, Paula's life suddenly divided into two starkly different periods: the time before and the time after she learned the truth. As they reunite, taking their tentative first steps from strangers to sisters, Paula and Elyse are left with haunting questions surrounding their origins and their separation. And when they investigate their birth mother's past, the sisters move closer toward solving the puzzle of their lives.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRecorded Books, Inc.
    Release dateJul 18, 2008
    ISBN9781501984259
    Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited

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    Reviews for Identical Strangers

    3.5/5

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    • 3/5
      I watched the roller-coaster ride which is 'Three Identical Strangers', the story of triplets separated by the Louise Wise adoption agency, and so had to follow up with the written account of twins who suffered the same fate. Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein were born in New York, 1968, to a formerly bright and promising young woman with mental health issues. Named Jean and Marian by their mother, they were given up for adoption through the prestigious Louise Wise agency, which was partaking in an 'experiment' to separate and study multiple identical siblings. The girls' adoptive parents were not told that their daughters had twins, so Elyse and Paula only discovered each other years later, when the Louise Wise scandal hit the headlines.Told by both twins, this is an open and interesting account of what it's like to suddenly find a biological relative, and one who shares 100% of your DNA. They go through the stages of learning how closely their lives have followed each other to wishing, at least in Paula's case, that their lives were still their own. They also go on a quest to find out more about the twin research which separated them, and about their birth mother, which I found most compelling. The meeting with their 'uncle' is like a scene out of a true life TV movie! The many facts about twins - padding, I suspect - are interesting but not really what I wanted to read about (I laughed when the Wakefield twins got a mention, though!)A shocking story with a happy ending, I think the film about the triplets tells the same tale with more impact.
    • 4/5
      I thought this was a pretty lively memoir that included a lot of interesting research. The story of the two sisters is incredible and i thought their voices sounded really honest. It was pretty eye opening in some respects and made me think a lot about nature versus nurture questions.
    • 4/5
      Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein are identical twins. They were both adopted, but separately, with neither adoptive family knowing their baby was a twin. At age 35, they found each other. What followed was a rather exhaustive search to try to learn what happened. And why. What they found was more than a little bit disturbing. In the 1960s, a so-called prestigious adoption agency in New York allowed some psychologists to conduct secret experiments, ostensibly to study nature vs. nurture. 5 sets of identical twins and one set of identical triplets were separated and adopted out, then followed by visits over the next few years. Interestingly, I actually read this book back in 2010 and although I remember reading it and being intrigued and disturbed by their story, I didn't recall a lot of the details. I also remember reading about the triplets who found each other at age 18, several years before these twins. They were all over the media at the time. Fast forward to earlier this year, when a documentary film was released. It is called Three Identical Strangers and is the story of the triplets. Elyse and Paula appear in it briefly but it is a current film (released this year) and more information has now been uncovered. The truth is even more disturbing than what was known when the twins wrote their book. The *experiments* also, apparently, aimed to study the heritability of mental illness, as it appears that the mothers of the twins and triplets all suffered from some form of mental illness. The people behind the studies never published their findings and worse, the files are sealed until 2066, when all of the doctors and most of the subjects will likely be dead. They have hired lawyers and tried to have the files opened, with little success.One fact that emerged is that, in the 1960s, when this all happened, there were no laws protecting the children, no laws on the books to make what was done illegal. Unethical, for sure, but not illegal. Laws have since been created but it is a harrowing story and for the triplets, a tragic one, as well. Both this book as well as the documentary film, are well worth reading and seeing. It's fascinating but disturbing heartbreaking and it's hard not to think about it a lot.
    • 4/5
      I enjoyed this book true story about identical twins who are separated when they are babies and are reunited as adults. They explore the complicated emotions they experienced as they met and got to know one another, sometimes with brutal honesty. This book gets you thinking about nature vs. nurture, and the authors intersperse their story with discussions of what psychologists have learned about twins. I also got a kick out of the fact that a good deal of the story takes place in Brooklyn's Park Slope neighborhood, where I spent a weekend in October 2009 during a cousin's wedding weekend.
    • 4/5
      Twins Paula and Elyse are given up at birth by their 28-year-old single mother, and psychologists connected with the adoption agency decide they will be part of a twin study. Basically, it is a scientific study of nature v. nurture. Twins and even triplets will be separated soon after birth and grow up in different familes and will be observed yearly for similarities and differences. While the girls are still babies living in their foster home, they cease to develop at the same rate and are dropped from the study. The girls are stil adopted out to separate familes and do not discover that they have a twin until they are 35 years old. The book is the story of how Elyse and Paula forge a relationship and how difficult that is and then their investigation of how they came to be separated, and all of that interspersed with interesting facts about twins and the twin study. The middle portion was a little dry, but I hung in there wanting to find out what happened with these two women and what they discovered about their origins.
    • 4/5
      I don't know about you, but when I was growing up I desperately wanted to be an identical twin. So special! So...well, "unique" isn't the right word, but you know what I mean. So attention-getting. I knew some non-identical twins and that always seemed like the worst of both worlds - you have a sibling, but they don't look like you so you can't fool people or freak them out, and what if you're not the pretty one? (Ashton Kutcher has a twin brother who not only looks nothing like him, he's unusually unattractive.) When I got to know some twins well, I was impressed by their apparent mind-meld and ability to communicate with each other in shorthand. Who wouldn't want that?So imagine finding out in your thirties that you had an identical twin but you were adopted by different families because some psychologist thought it was more healthy. That's what happened to the authors of this book, when one of them started researching her birth mother. They found out that they'd been part of a study to determine if mental illness was hereditary or environmental, because they were identical twin daughters of a schizophrenic woman.One of them's a bourgeois stay at home mother in Park Slope, the other lives in Paris in a tiny apartment and supports her dreams of working in film by tutoring English students. What a wild duet! But like a lot of twins raised separately, they eerily have things in common: they're both interested in film and both have written about it, both were the editor of their school newspaper, both suffer from depression, etc. The most interesting part of the story for me was how they built their relationship with each other. They start out thrilled that they've found each other and are instantly madly in love. They introduce each other to their families and know they'll be in each other's lives forever. After a while, each of them starts resenting the other - how weird it is to see the other's overly dramatic expressions on their own face, the pressure of having this new intense relationship. Despite their joy at being reunited, each of them had a settled life before this intimate stranger entered it. I can't help but wonder if the Parisian twin, who's constantly house-sitting in order to get out of her small apartment, and borrowing from friends, tried to get the Park Slope sister to give her money and a place to live when she came to the US.It's a quick but fun read about a situation the rest of us can only imagine. I'm glad they either had a good ghost writer or were skillful enough to tell their story well.
    • 4/5
      That Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein had been adopted as infants was a given. Both were thankful to have been raised by loving adoptive parents and, at age 35, each had carved out a nice life of her own. Paula, a freelance writer, lived with her husband and young daughter in New York City, and Elyse, a film director, considered Paris to be her home. What neither woman knew was that they are identical twins who had been adopted out, when they were just a few months old, to separate families. All that would change on the day Elyse contacted adoption agency Louise Wise Services to request information about her birth mother. In addition to the minimal details about her mother's background the agency was willing to share with her, Elyse was told that she had an identical twin sister. And the search for her twin sister, which turned out to be surprisingly easy, was on. Sooner than Elyse dared imagine, the two were sitting across from each in a New York restaurant on what, for both women, had the feel of a "first date." "Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited" focuses on the women's sometimes reluctant search for their birth mother, whom they learn was an exceptionally bright young Jewish woman who suffered severe schizophrenia at the time of their birth. They also learn that locating their birth father will be impossible because when they were born their mother was unable to name him. But despite being fearful of what they might learn about their mother's mental illness, both sisters already having suffered varying degrees of depression, they are determined to identify her. "Identical Strangers," however, is about much more than the search for a birth mother - that particular book has been written often enough already. Elyse and Paula, in alternating first-person chapters, instead offer a frank account of what it is like for each of them to suddenly face the identical twin neither ever suspected of existing. One sister is enthusiastic about their reunion and future together but the other sometimes finds herself wishing she could have her old life back, the one into which she did not suddenly have to figure out how to squeeze in a new sister. The two will exchange frank and blunt comments, and often have their feelings hurt, as they struggle to come to terms with their new relationship. Ultimately binding the sisters together, however, is their shared determination to learn why they were separated by the adoption agency instead of being offered to a family able to keep them together. Only after many months of determined effort, do they finally learn the shocking truth about Louise Wise Services and the decision that forever changed their lives - along with the lives of the other twins (and one set of triplets) separated by the agency for the same reason. Along the way, one learns much about the scientific differences between identical twins, fraternal twins and other siblings as the age old question of "nature vs. nurture" is explored. Also included are numerous intriguing stories about the amazing similarities shared by other twins and triplets who only found each other as adults. "Identical Strangers" is another of those instances that remind us that real life can be as fascinating as the best fiction. Rated at: 3.5
    • 5/5
      Oh how I enjoyed this memoir of twins seperated, adopted and then found each other over thirty years later when neither knew of the other. The authors, Elyse & Paula also are the voices for the audio and it's presentation along with the pictures in the book has been done so very well. The story is both heart breakingly vivid and also joyous as each tell their personal account. I could not put the book down or pick up an additional read until I had finished this story. I love reading about twins but to get the book and learn of the adoption was interesting as I too, found my birthmother. But to also learn of the twins being seperatd for a mere study was just tough to hear.
    • 4/5
      Audio Version.Why: Needed some nonfiction for my categorical challenge and wanted to try an audio book. This seemed an interesting story.It’s about two twins, unknowingly adopted into different families, who reunite as adults, and the paths they follow to learn the circumstances of their birth and adoption. From the start I was drawn into the women’s experience. There were two readers, because the sisters alternated telling the story. A fascinating story: Elyse, an unrooted 35 y.o. American in Paris, seeks info on her birth mother and is shocked by the revelations that she had not been born alone and that her mother was mentally ill. She contacts her blithely ignorant twin, Paula (surprise!), who is a successful journalist, wife and mother living in NYC. They are each blown away by their similarities. As the two struggle with this huge shift in identity, history and family relationships, they begin to question why anyone would do something like purposely separate identical twin babies. They discover they were part of a study, sparking their worst Orwellian fears. They spend the next few years chasing documents and hunting down any people involved in their adoption.Their personal story is mostly compelling, but one thing that made the book so fascinating was that they interspersed their story with reports of scientific twin studies, separated twin anecdotes and lots of musing on Nature vs. Nurture. After hearing this I don’t see how Nature can be delegated to the second tier.These women are good writers, but there were a few things I had problems with. I think the readers did good jobs, especially contrasting Elyse’s more emotional, dramatic nature with Paula’s coolly rational one, but about halfway through the Elyse-reader really started to grate. I don’t know if she was imitating Elyse’s speech patterns, badly or well, but even the most bland statements were infused with this melodramatically mournful tone, as if she were imploring her recently flattened cat, Why, Fluffy, oh why did you cross the street. If I knew anyone who talked like that in real life, and was stuck in a car with her (I listen while I drive) I’d be sore tempted to smack her. The other thing I didn’t like was that after the initial premise was introduced there was just too much repetitive navel-gazing. Oh! You were traumatically separated after spending nine months together in the womb? Oh thank you. I didn’t get it the first twenty times. Since I couldn’t figure out a way to successfully skim ahead in an audio book without missing anything good—and it was good—I just grinned and bore it. My impressions were mostly good and I think Identical Strangers is worth a read (or listen).
    • 4/5
      Interesting....fascinating really. A bit whiny at times....for all of their claims to be so similar...I liked one sister alot more than the other!
    • 4/5
      These identical twins did not find each other until age 35. The book alternates chapters by each twin, telling their separate thoughts on learning about their twin and slowly trying to form a relationship. Most interesting.
    • 4/5
      Really interesting.Elise and Paula have fullfilling lives, and one day they discover they are sisters, adopted seperatly with the desire to be studied as part of a twin study on nature vs. nuture.What I found so captivating about this book was how one twin really didn't welcome the intrusion of the other into her life. Also amazing how they did discover their birth mother, and how sad her life was.Look forward to reading more about their growing relationship.
    • 5/5
      An engrossing story written in alternating sections by identical twins who were separated by an adoption agency as part of a psychological experiment. They found each other in their mid-thirties, and proceeded to track down the people responsible as well as their uncle. Interspersed with twin research, the book is a very interesting glimpse of the interaction of nature and nurture.
    • 4/5
      Like many people, I find twins fascinating. I always wished that I had a twin that I didn't know about, that I would find someday. The authors of this book made just such a discovery, although they weren't quite as happy about it. I found the discussions about the evolving relationship between the unknown sisters very interesting. A twin relationship is a very close relationship, and it would be very difficult to have someone so familiar that is actually a stranger. It was difficult to figure out how close to be to this stranger, for both women. I thought that the alternating chapters between the authors was a very effective way to explore the way they built their relationship. Overall, though, it seemed like the book could have used a stronger narrative structure. I understand that sometimes you just can't know everything about your past, no matter how much you want to, but to a certain extent the book just kind of stopped more than it ended. Still, I thought both women were good writers who were honestly exploring a very difficult and private subject that must have been difficult to share. Despite the not-so-strong ending, I enjoyed this book, and would recommend it to others.
    • 3/5
      I was interested to read this book because I find twins interested. As an adult, I once mistook my uncle for his identical twin -- my father. Although identical in appearance, they were different in subtle ways -- as are other identicals that I know well. I found the "I'm like that too!" comments initially interesting, but after awhile, they became repetitive and trivial. Really -- how many people who are not my twin write with the same sort of pen I use? And, despite their similar bouts with depression, I found their writing about the wrong done to them by the adoption agency bordering on whining. I cannot argue the separating twins or conducting observational experiments on them was not cruel -- it was. But, this book begins to fail in conveying that by the repetiveness to it. Written as an interleafed diary by each twin, the book is at first interesting, but their voices are too similar to keep track as to whom is writing the section. While this is fascinating and underscores the similarities in personalities between the sisters, as a narrative technique it comes up a little short. Tight editing would have reduced this book by 100 pages and made it more readable and captivating without loosing both the mystique of the twins and the dual-edged sword of bitterness and happiness with finding each other in midlife. Still, if one is interested in the topic of adoption and twins, I would recommend this book.
    • 5/5
      I was fascinated by this book, as a human being and as a Librarian. Do any of us do the best we can with the DNA we are given? Imagine meeting someone who started life with the same tabula rasa and studying your similarities and differences.I enjoyed the alternating narrative that looked at the same events through different pairs of eyes sharing the same DNA. As a Librarian, the book reminded me of why we keep, organize and disseminate so much information. Who can really know what pieces of paper may change someone's life? Yet again, people discover profound truths in the New York Public Library and in academic archives.Overall, this is an engaging book.
    • 2/5
      I looked forward to this book as it I thought it would be an interesting subject. But I was somewhat dissapointed,I couldn't figure out who's point of view was which and who was speaking most of the time. It was very repetitive and I found it annoying to be quite frank. It got more interesting at the end when they actually meet their realtives. However, it could have been better written, as it was all over the place. The writing was shaky and all over the place. Though it did keep me enaged for the most part.
    • 3/5
      Identical Strangers is the story of Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein. Both women knew they were adopted. Elyse, in her mid-thirties, started looking for her biological mother. What she found instead was that she was an identical twin. Paula never had any inclination to find her birth mother, but received a call one day informing her that she was an identical twin. The story, told in alternating points of view by the two women, is what happened once these women meet and attempt to try and find out why they were separated and adopted by different families. I so looked forward to this book as it is such a fascinating subject. Who hasn't dreamt of finding they have a long-lost twin? But I was somewhat dissapointed in Identical Strangers. I think it is a story that could have been told better by a third person. There was too much repetition. For instance, I read many times how much Paula was not sure she wanted to meet her twin, how afraid she was that she would become responsible for her twin. There were many references to other separated twins which I found interesting, such as, once reunited and tested, many identical twins have IQs within one point of each other. Toward the end of the book, when they meet with an actual blood relative, I did find the book much more interesting. Overall, though, I found it disappointing.
    • 4/5
      Identical Strangers was a reasonably decent book - compelling and engaging while I read it, but with a variety of problems and issues once I finished it and stepped back a bit. The overall plot is quite compelling, because after all, identical twins - particularly those separated at birth - have always held a special place in our minds. However, I thought that it could have been better written and better put together. I felt that the details of the studies were interesting, but too scattered and sometimes too forced into the narrative to work as well as they might have done. The writing was somewhat uneven, and I think that as far as a memoir goes it was a little too guarded and repetitive to work. I think this could have been a much better book if it was written 10 years from now, with more distance from the initial events. Perhaps that would have allowed for more introspection and a greater cohesion to the whole story. Still though, it was an enjoyable read, and I would recommend it to someone with an interest in twins.
    • 3/5
      It is wonderful that these two found each other. It hit a lot on the nature vs nurture argument which I thought was interesting.
    • 2/5
      "Identical Strangers" reads like interleaved entries from a couple of diaries. At age 33 one of the authors is looking for her birth mother and is stunned to discover she has a twin. This book is about their discovery of each other and how it came about they were both adapted by different families. They share with us facts about identical twins they must have discovered during their search. For a real life story of two ordinary people it has quite a bit of mystery and potential villain(s)! Their writing style is informal, more like a magazine article, but that makes it an easy read. After about 10 days I find it has not left much of an impression in my mind but it was an enjoyable read at the time!
    • 2/5
      A fascinating concept, but poorly executed. I loved the idea of a book about identical twins separated at birth and meeting for the first time in their 30s. Unfortunately, the writing is clunky and unengaging; the length padded. The book is coauthored by the twins in alternating first-person viewpoints, and the authors may have been too close to the topic to make a satisfying story of it. Elyse comes across as needy and insecure, and Paula as ambivalent. The main emotion conveyed is that it is very uncomfortable to meet your identical twin as an adult. Though that is no doubt true, it is tiresome to read about for an entire book, and the insights don't get much deeper than that. The story of how the twins met and investigated their past together is awkwardly intermingled with twin-study vignettes, with segues between the two that are occasionally cringeworthy. One particularly glaring offender: "Though we have so much in common, we are surprised to find out that, while Paula broke her arm at age eleven, I have never broken any bones. Other pairs of twins, however, have discovered many other eerily timed similarities...."Actually, you can open most any page and find bad writing. "'Regardless of outside pressures, I was driven to succeed,' says Paula. 'Me, too,' I chime in. Paula and I marvel at what appears to be our innate ambitiousness. We're not surprised to find later that researchers at the University of Minnesota found that twins reared apart often chose similar jobs...."On a completely different note, the lack of a photo section was a disappointing omission. The cover photos of two infants, presumably the twins, are the only pictures of the authors.
    • 2/5
      Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein are identical twins, who were adopted by different families as infants in 1969. The New York City adoption agency which handled their cases had a "policy" of separating twins, based on the recommendation of Viola Bernard, the agency's psychiatric consultant, who believed twins would be better off if raised apart. The women meet in their mid-30s when Elyse begins a search for information about her birth parents, learns she has a twin, and is put in touch with Paula through the adoption agency. The book describes their reunion, their developing relationship, and the subsequent search for information about their origins. Paula and Elyse learn that not only were they separated at birth, they were also part of a child development study of several separated, adopted "multiples." This was one of the more interesting aspects of the book, as the women's research led them to other participants, and to a better understanding of the study's purpose. Much of their history was influenced by the values and beliefs of the time, and is quite appalling when viewed through a modern lens.Unfortunately, this book appears to be trying to do too many things at once: report on a psychological study, educate the reader on twins and the concept of "nature vs. nurture," and serve as a memoir of a personal journey. The memoir alternates sections written individually by each woman, presumably to convey their different points of view. However, this approach also magnified each woman's individual insecurities and vulnerabilities. Elyse appears overly concerned with her appearance, especially as compared to Paula. Paula at times regrets being contacted by Elyse. There are also far too many words devoted to comparing the each woman's formative experiences: they are allergic to the same drug, they both struggled to control their weight, they pursued similar studies at university. Page after page is filled with, "I did that!" ... "Me, too!" and often about minutiae that would only be interesting to the two people directly involved. Then, at one point, Elyse gets carried away. She is surprised that Paula broke her arm as a teenager, whereas Elyse did not. She compares this to two separated twins who had both stopped menstruating for a few months at age 18. These two situations -- one accidental, one biological -- really can't be compared at all. At this point the book reminded me of the Lincoln - Kennedy Coincidences I remember being fascinated with as a child.This book's premise was fascinating, but unfortunately it didn't live up to my expectations.
    • 4/5
      I cannot IMAGINE the reaction I would have if suddenly I found out I had a lost sibling - let alone an identical twin. Because that is an unfathomable event to me - I was very eager to read this book. (That and the fact that it dealt with adoption - which is very close to my heart.) I am always intrigued by "What If?" situations - and this is an ultimate "What If?"Although I am not sure how happy Paula and Elyse might be to hear this - one of the only problems I had with the book was that their voices are so similar. Each part of the narrative is headed with the name of the twin that is speaking - and yet I kept having to flip back and check who was "speaking". Only in the last third of the book did I start to get a solid grasp of whose voice was whose. Again - the women being similar in many ways - I can't say that this is unexpected - but maybe a bit of revision is in order to further distinguish which narrator is speaking.I sympathized with both Elyse and Paula as they struggles to come to grips with their new roles as sisters and twins - and I appreciated the sometimes brutal honesty that they revealed to one another and to the reader. Admissions that sometimes one wished she could disappear from the other's life, one confessing that she secretly hoped that when their birth mother was found it would turn out that she was deceased. These are startling at first - but when I took time to think about it, given the circumstances, I cannot say that those types of thoughts might pass through my mind.As the women investigate the circumstances of their birth and separation - I grew more and more disturbed by the people who shaped their destinies. Mengele’s twin studies came immediately to mind - and were referenced several times throughout the book. These children were seen as some sort of sociological treasure trove - with little or no regard to the fact that they were human beings capable of loss and pain.My heart goes out to Paula and Elyse - for all that they lost and also for what they have gained. I wish I knew more of their lives before they discovered one another so that I could more fully appreciate the "after" but I think that the journey they have taken together and what they have learned about themselves in the process is an invaluable one. I agree with the underlying sentiment of the book that while their separation never should have happened - it was the only thing that COULD have happened - and it is what made them who they are today.
    • 4/5
      Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited by Elyse Schein, writer & film maker & Paula Bernstein, freelance writer, is both an interesting and provocative memoir. These twins, separated as infants and raised in different homes, were unaware of each other's existence as were their adoptive families until their mid-thirties when Elyse contacts the prestigious Jewish adoption agency Louise Wise Services, that handled her initial placement, in an attempt to find her biological mother. The news is stunning to both women and while Elyse is eager for this reunion, Paula is unsettled and ambivalent about having her life turned upside down just when everything was going so well. Hearing of their similarities is engaging, as is the idea of meeting your doppelgänger but what is really fascinating and never quite resolved is how and why this separation happened to both of these women and to other twins placed by the same agency. We learn that Dr. Viola Bernard a psychiatric consultant for the agency believed that it was best for twins to be reared apart, a lone voice in the psychiatric literature of the time. We also learn that Dr. Peter Neubauer a prominent psychoanalyst and director of the Freud archives at the time, took advantage of this belief and conducted a 'twins study' funded in part by the National Institute of Mental Health. If twins and triplets were going to be separated, then this study would follow their development, all the while without full disclosure to the prospective adoptive families. Elyse and Paula and other affected twins, did make an unsuccessful attempt to view their records from this study, which now belong to the Yale archives and will remain sealed until the year 2066. While none of this was strictly illegal at the time, the monstrous scientific license these doctors took with both the children's and the adoptive families lives is in my opinion unconscionable.Note: this review is based on the Advance Reader's Edition of the memoir.Mary Jones
    • 3/5
      Identical Strangers is a great story that combines the childhood fantasy of discovering you have an identical twin with a science fiction plot wherein the characters discover that a critical portion of their life was dictated by the experimental design of a now dead researcher. Both Elyse and Paula grew up knowing they were adopted, and while Paula turned out to have more luck as life progressed from childhood to adulthood, they both became, in their own way, successful adults. Neither had the inclination to seek out the identity of their birth mother upon coming of age - in fact Paula, a freelance journalist, wrote an article entitled "Why I don't want to meet my birth mother". At the age of 33, almost on a whim, Elyse starts to Google about adoption and their shared journey begins. First Elyse is informed she has an identical twin - which forces the same discovery on Paula. Next the new sisters together receive a few surprises about their mother. As the plot, (or as they state their "investigation") continues they uncover some shocking details about the supposedly prestigious adoption agency which was deeply revered by both their parents.The book structured in perfect chronological order, with the different voices of Elyse and Paula, alternating as the story progresses. Hence the same events are being described from two points of view. Paula comes off as both the better grounded, and the better writer, of the two. Along the way, they meet various players in the drama of reunited twins including of course, the other twin's family, others identical twins (separated and not separated at birth), people from the adoption agency, and the twin researchers of long ago. The story ends, as you would expect, with them finding as much as they can about their birth mother. The result is definitely an engrossing plot and a quick read. The problem is that the book purports to be more than good story. As a personal memoir(s), the book is merely mediocre. Both the twins poorly translate their feelings into words. The expressions of their inner worlds are either childishly trite (Elyse) or overly guarded (Paula), and subsequently there is little insight beyond the predictable about what it feels like to be in this special situation. As book on twins, Identical Strangers is just plain bad. Within their telling of the chronological story, both twins write independently (sometimes repetitively) on how various twin studies have tried to differentiate between facets of personality that are defined by nature and nurture. In these portions, the authors delve into numerous amateurish descriptions of scientific work, continually putting equal significance on datum from twins they met and data from researchers. In these sections, the consistent inability to differentiate between improbable and probable shared characteristics between any two random people was annoying at best. As the twins are ineffective at both describing what it means emotionally and scientifically to be twins, the book remains ambiguous on a fundamental question - was separating them at birth morally wrong?With that said, Elyse and Paula have a very unique and engrossing story to tell, and while it could have been told better, it is worth reading for the plot alone.
    • 4/5
      Half way through Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited by Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein, one twin asks the other: “If your family had raised me and mine had raised you, would I be you and would you be me?” By the end of the book, the reader clearly understands the answer is “no.” It is worth reading the whole book to find out why. But a far more compelling reason to read the book is this: we are all suckers for reunion stories, and perhaps there is no more fascinating reunion story than one between identical twins reunited after half a lifetime of not knowing that they had a twin. That is what drew me so strongly to this book, and on this score, too, the book delivers nicely. Elyse and Paula were adopted by separate families completely unaware that their daughters had an identical twin being raised by another family located in the same city. The girls reunite in 2003 when they are 35 years old. The book is their joint memoir about their difficult reunion and the resulting deep bond that slowly, and at times painfully, develops between them. Their story is highly personal, heart-felt, and deeply emotional. Plus there are mysteries at the core that compel you to find out more. Who was their mother? Why did she abandon them? Who are their biological family? Where are they? Halfway through their investigation, the twins discover a dark side to their particular adoption. With dogged journalistic skills they uncover every lead until they finally arrive at the truth. You’ll be thoroughly surprised to learn the true reasons behind their unusual adoptions…and you can’t help but be proud of their perseverance. These are two extremely bright and tough young women.Seared in my brain was the reaction they finally received from their birth-uncle when they are reunited with him toward the end of the book. It has been over a week since I finished the book, and I still can’t get that particular meeting out of my mind. It was chilling!Identical Strangers is excellent journalism made personal. Both woman write compelling first-person narratives and are not embarrassed to expose their true feelings. The alternating first person narratives falter from time to time, when each twin switches gears to incorporate summary academic findings about twins reared apart or the nature-vs.-nurture debate. But this information is useful and it is covered in an easy-to-understand, nonscientific manner. I recommend the book to anyone who loves unusual true-life stories. Of course, this book will be of particular interest to twins, twins researchers, and psychologists. One final note: I hope, in time, Elyse and Paula will reconsider allowing themselves to be studied in detail by twins experts. There is a lot yet to be uncovered in this fascinating field of study and every example of identical twins reared apart helps fit the pieces together. There are still not enough real-life examples to form statistically reliable research samplings. If these two add themselves to the existing data pool, we will be all that closer to the truth.
    • 4/5
      I enjoyed this book. Having Paula and Elyse alternate in telling the story of finding each other and then discovering their past added to dynamism of the book. (Paula is a better writer than Elyse.) The book holds your attention and moves along like a good mystery. I got a real sense of the emotion of discovering they were identical twins and then their anger at the adoption agency that separated them and how that agency participated in a study of separated twins. You feel the frustration of dealing with the bureaucracy in the adoption community. I found interesting the additional material they provided about scientific studies of identical twins, such as having the same habits, nearly identical IQs and amazing similarities the milestones of life. I wish they had added section about sexual preference between identical twins. The whole "nature vs. nurture" debate was not resolved but certainly enlightened. Finally I was struck by the honesty of the writers; they clearly learned to love each other but the competition between them was very revealing.
    • 4/5
      Left to my own devices I don't often read non-fiction. Not because I don't enjoy it, it is just that the books I hear about are largely fiction and there are just so many hours that I can read. Therefore, it is with IMMENSE gratitude that I thank Random House and LibraryThing for sending me this book. This work is told in Tandem by two identical twin sisters, Paula and Elyse. What makes their story unique (the book taught me that identical twins are NOT unique, fraternal ones are) is that the adoption agency separated them as infants and told neither of their adoptive families that they were a twin.This book is a story of their journey of discovery and their sleuthing work to find out why they were separated and who their birth family was.The book is peppered with information about twins in general, much of which I had never heard. Equally fascinating was following these women as they spoke to various people who had information about who had separated them and why. Their journey leads them to other separated and reunited twins and doesn't sugar coat anything. This book is their real thoughts and feelings on a life changing event.For me this is one of those books that I wished had a few hundred more pages although I realize that they had told their story. This book is worth the read. Absolutely. Without Question.
    • 3/5
      In Disney’s popular film The Parent Trap, the discovery by two girls that they are identical twins is presented as a fun romp, and the parents who separated them as babies are seen as misguided romantics. In reality, as Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein recount in their memoir Identical Strangers, the separation of identical twins is a highly traumatic event. Schein and Bernstein take turns in telling their tale, their narratives sometimes overlapping, their opinions sometimes diverging, of how they were separated as infants and placed with two different adoptive families, only discovering this when Schein started looking for her birth mother 35 years later. As they join together to piece together the mystery of their separation, they uncover increasingly disturbing information about the agencies that were meant to protect them. While the story itself would have made a compelling feature article, or even an investigative series, at over 250 pages the telling starts to wear thin. The twins’ personal recollections are interwoven with factual information and scientific studies in a jarring and abrupt fashion. Additionally, the decision not to use different typefaces for the two narrators, while understandable (after all, they are identical twins), in practice proves difficult for the reader. In all, an interesting story diluted by an overlong narrative.