I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual
Written by Luvvie Ajayi
Narrated by Luvvie Ajayi
4/5
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About this audiobook
*Updated edition includes bonus chapter*
Winner of the 2017 Audie Award for Humor
"A truth-riot of a book!"—Shonda Rhimes
New York Times Bestseller
#1 Washington Post Bestseller
Redbook “20 Books By Women You Must Read this Fall”
GoodHousekeeping.com “17 New Best New Books to Read This Fall”
BookRiot “100 Must-Read Hilarious Books”
Goodreads Choice Awards Nominee
Now in development with "Shondaland" and ABC Signature Studios as cable television series
Comedian, activist, and hugely popular culture blogger at AwesomelyLuvvie.com, Luvvie Ajayi, serves up necessary advice for the masses in this hilarious book of essays
With over 500,000 readers a month at her enormously popular blog, AwesomelyLuvvie.com, Luvvie Ajayi is a go-to source for smart takes on pop culture. I'm Judging You is her debut book of humorous essays that dissects our cultural obsessions and calls out bad behavior in our increasingly digital, connected lives. It passes on lessons and side-eyes on life, social media, culture, and fame, from addressing those terrible friends we all have to serious discussions of race and media representation to what to do about your fool cousin sharing casket pictures from Grandma's wake on Facebook.
With a lighthearted, razor sharp wit and a unique perspective, I'm Judging You is the handbook the world needs, doling out the hard truths and a road map for bringing some "act right" into our lives, social media, and popular culture. It is the Do-Better Manual.
Luvvie Ajayi
Luvvie Ajayi is an award-winning writer, pop-culture critic, and professional troublemaker who thrives at the intersection of comedy, technology, and activism. She is the person who often says what you're thinking but dared not say because you have a filter and a job to protect. She is also a digital strategist, noted speaker, core team member on Glennon Doyle’s “Together” tour, and executive director of The Red Pump Project, a national HIV/AIDS organization.
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Reviews for I'm Judging You
251 ratings35 reviews
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5I thought I'd be getting a "hilarious book of essays". I love to laugh, and think I do fairly easily, but this book was just not funny to me. Perhaps I am not the demographic for this book because I did not get the slang she used, let alone her made-up words (with definitions). That made it hard for me to get more than 50 pages in, so I scanned the rest of the book. Topics like race, rape, homophobia, religion and feminism aren't really what I would consider "hilarious", yet those are a good chunk of her book. I did find her chapter on #hashtag abuse interesting and fairly funny. Maybe if you are cooler and more hip than me, you might like this book. I didn't care for it.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Better than expected. It’s a pleasant and funny audio pointing at pertinent subjects.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Timely, relevant, cheeky, so smart and extremely hilarious. I'm inspired to give a side eye more often and to do better always.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Hilarious insight on how we can ALL ( as a nation and as humans) do better.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I loved every second of this audiobook!! I’m a fan of Luvvie but have only just started reading her books. Just got my little niece her Little Troublemaker book!!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Hilarious book! Luvvie is an excellent author! Great read for anyone who is semi-woke or wants to enhance their wokeness.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A collection of essays delineating society's many failings and suggestions about where we can each do our part to improve. I was planning to settle in and feel superior to all the other people who are screwing up. Much to my surprise I found a number of chapters that I could personally learn from. Although I did get uncomfortable from time to time, I think it gave me a lot of food for thought. Though this book has lots of laughs and head nodding, it's will still be relevant to each of us. We all have work to do.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Amazing truths, a Must read/listen whatever just make you get this book/Audio.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I won this book from Early Reviewers, and am now recommending it to everyone! It's incredibly funny, but also provides spot-on social commentary about the state of present day affairs.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A well thought out book by a brilliant mind!! I enjoyed every word.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book is so great it touched everything that concerns me. I have so much courage now and all I can think about is all the people I want to give side eyes to.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anyone who needs a good laugh or someone to slap them with some truth, read this. I listened to it on audio and Luvvie read it and she did such an incredible job. You could tell how much passion she put into this book. I constantly was laughing out loud or being like this is so true!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I love Luvvie. She is equal parts hilarious and spot on. I love her take on all things feminist, political, and human. Listening to her was like listening to your best friend rant - if your best friend is as whip smart and sharp tongued (not to mention gorgeous). A timely and relevant read.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book is so relevant and so needed, even years later!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5i loved it! It spoke all of my thoughts into existence. I have been waiting for a book that explains things in a 'real talk' manner and this was it. I am judging right with her, myself included!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5? her honesty, quick wits and amazing comebacks are just hilarious. She really made the book came alive in audiobook. Glad I was not the only one who have these thoughts but definitely glad that someone is sassy enough to air them out. ??????
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual is a funny book, but Ajayi is preaching to the choir with her social and cultural insights. For the audience Ajayi is targeting, the book's observations are tired and repetitive. Luvvie's blog is great, but I would only recommend this book to those who are less familiar with the intersections between pop culture and social justice and its corresponding blogosphere.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent book!! Funny, but real. I loved the author’s narration!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5diverse audiobook (humor from Nigerian-American social activist)
brilliantly sharp and a little rant-y, in a highly amusing way, and she also does a good job of deconstructing racism, sexism, homophobia, and other significant topics.
seriously hilarious and hilariously serious, and more timely than any of us could have predicted. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Luvvie Ajayi is exactly the kind of whipsmart, no-nonsense feminist of color we need right now. Her chapters on same-sex civil rights and intersectional feminism are particularly apt. It just edges out Bad Feminist for me, but I think the marketing for BF is misleading.
1/5/18 update: a year later, Luvvie's advice feels more necessary than ever. White women, we must do better. Please read this book, because it provides helpful and hilarious perspective on how to do better in our public and private lives. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Let’s face it: We are human. We make mistakes. We have flaws. We have prejudices, too. It’s our job as humans to do our best to learn from our mistakes, embrace our flaws, and correct our prejudices, which is why I am always looking for a good self-help book. And boy, did I find one in I’m Judging You by Luvvie Ajayi.The book is divided into four sections: Life, Culture, Social Media, and Fame. Within each section, Luvvie addresses how we can do better as a people – from washing bras to the plague of rape culture. Some of her essays are light-hearted while others tackle harder topics, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, and fake news.I’m Judging You is downright hilarious. It’s rare for me to cackle my way through an entire book, but that’s exactly what I did. I also loved how Luvvie integrated details about her native Nigeria and her culture and growing up black in America. Coupled with these heavier topics are Luvvie’s sharp wit, down-to-earth style, and fantastic truth bombs. She shines the most in the “Culture” section, and her chapters about racism are must re-reads.You’ll learn a lot from I’m Judging You, and I look forward to reading Luvvie’s new book when it’s released (honestly, it can’t get here soon enough!).My big takeaways:#1: Write like you speak“Write like you speak” is actually a quote by Seth Godin, and Luvvie is a master at implementing it. I love Luvvie’s approachable, funny writing style. And it’s just like she speaks. I tend to write more stiffly and formerly, instead of embracing my speech style, which is funny and uplifting. As I work on my book, I will remember how Luvvie was authentic in her writing style and will do my best write like I speak, too.#2: White women must do betterThis book was published in 2016, and it’s a shame that many of the racist issues discussed in Luvvie’s book are still a problem. And they are still a problem because white people can’t get their acts together (we are the only ones who can fix racism). As a white woman, I am constantly working on being a better ally. For sure, I’m a work in progress, but it’s essential that I not stop. I must do better.#3: Do something that mattersThis is the title of Luvvie’s last chapter, and it’s a chapter I wish I had written. Luvvie writes: “I am a big believer in the notion that we’ve each got to look outside ourselves and figure out what we’re going to do to make this world a little less terrible.” (page 231)This is my belief too, and it’s something I feel especially strong for female entrepreneurs with a platform. Even if it’s a small platform, you can make an impact. Think about what causes are important to you and advocate for them. It doesn’t need to be slick or perfect – just do your best. For Heaven’s sake, don’t be silent. The world needs your Meaningful Noise, now more than ever.How I’m Judging You relates to entrepreneurs:The last two sections, Social Media and Fame, are important reads for entrepreneurs. Social media is a common way of marketing your business, and the lessons Luvvie teaches us in these chapters are excellent reminders about staying authentic in your social media marketing. The Fame section reminds us that our impact is much more everlasting than a viral video. Don’t be too quick to wish for fame; instead, ask yourself: How can I make a difference?
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Blogger and pop-culture critic Ajayi offers some side-eye at all of the things, little and big, that Americans should try to do better at.I really enjoyed the first part of this book, where Ajayi offers lighthearted commentary on relationships and such. The middle portion of the book, where she delves into heavier topics like feminism, religion, and racism had me nodding my head, but it felt like maybe it should have been a different book -- and, though I agreed with many of her points, I didn't feel like there was anything new or particularly insightful there for me. And the final part of the book, where she talks about fame-seeking, wasn't really relevant to me, so I struggled to stay engaged and finish the book. Recommended if you're a big fan of Ajayi's blog -- otherwise, you can probably skip this one.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very good collection of why all of us deserve a little side-eye (or maybe a lot), but even though it was fairly short, I felt like it went on too long at times. I would have edited a couple of these down. Plus, I am side-eying Ajayi for her essay on religion. She was busy defending her own embrace of Christianity while basically lumping all non-believers together as attacking Christianity. As a non-believer, I am so sick of having religion crammed down my throat. I am (mostly) a good person and I don't need a bunch of religious hypocrites telling me what I'm doing wrong (not saying that Ajayi is a hyprocrite) while some of these so-called Christians have so much hate in their hearts. End of soapbox. Also, I didn't appreciate being lumped in with all other white women in this country as being "priveleged." I may not have endured racism, but I am still facing misogyny and now you can factor ageism into the equation. We all have burdens and we should work together to lift those burdens rather than accusing others of not doing enough to lift ours. If I'm required to march in the streets to uplift black women, then she needs to march in the streets to uplift this aging, liberal atheist. Deal?
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Somehow, I hadn’t heard of Ms. Ajayi until a couple of months ago. Clearly, I have been missing out. Thankfully I learned of her via this great collection of essays.
When, after seeing the entertaining cover, someone asked what I was reading, I described it as a little bit silly but a lot serious. Some of the topic areas might be considered lighter fare, which is what I was expecting for the whole of the book (again, my fault, as I wasn’t familiar with the author). But it’s so much more than an amusing frolic through modern-day ways people act like asshats; it’s also a collection of essays on serious topics.
These topics benefit from Ms. Ajayi’s talented way with words; she can drop in a clever aside or snide remark into a very serious essay without breaking up the flow. It doesn’t lessen the impact; instead it reminds the reader that these issues are not so esoteric that we can’t all have a vested interested in addressing them.
Ms. Ajayi discusses rape culture, racism, religion, fame, feminism and more in this collection, and I felt I either related to or learned something from nearly every one. The only section where I felt some measure of disagreement (and it was such a tiny measure) was with her description of atheists. I appreciate that as an atheist I was already going to be a bit sensitive to what anyone says about this group, and others might read it and totally agree with her take on us. Regardless, even that bit was edifying to a degree.
I was expecting an entertaining etiquette book and instead got deep social criticism, and that ended up being exactly what I needed. - Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5I admit, I was curious about this book so all I did was read the sample .... Good Lord.... I regret it.Right from the kicker, we learn if you're not Nigerian you pretty much don't know crap. Cue up the My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding show because that is exactly who she is reminding me of.And my good gah. If you happen to eat ANY DIFFERENT than her *loud horrified gasp* you are a Scrooge! How DARE you be different?!She goes on and on about how horrible these people are then straight up says that she oftentimes leaves midmeal (making her "Scrooge 3") then says Scrooge 3 tends to not even pay their part of the bill. THEN says "Okay, it's possible for this to happen once because we're all entitled to occasional absent-mindedness." buuuuut you just said oftentimes. Hmmm. Okay.Wow, you must be real fun. NOT!"I wish they would just be open and honest and let us know if they're going through a down time or a broke period."Really? Because judging from your previous statements, I wouldn't want to tell you diddly squat. Especially if you nitpick and act like you are so much better than others."Let's be honest, toddlers are the worst. Those tiny humans are needy and they want your constant attention and then they need your help doing everything. They are so lazy. Then they have the nerve to cry and throw tantrums and be ungrateful. And you just want to ask them, 'What have you done for me lately?'"Are you a freaking idiot? They are BABIES! What the hell do you expect them to do?! "What have you done for me lately?" wow. I feel horrible or anyone and everyone who knows you because you sound like a total asshole. Not to mention you were PROUD that you just scared your niece because she was doing what all babies do. That kid is gonna grow up with serious mental problems if she is around you very long. #sorrynotsorry___________________I could go on and on about the complete and total bull crap I read, but for the sake of my sanity, I won't. It's appalling. I really can't believe this was published in all honesty. This is beyond petty and pathetic. Only place this "book" belongs is on a burn pile. Haha
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I couldn’t finish it. The writing was fine, and I pretty much agree with everything she says, but it’s just… exhausting. Too much moral crusading, not enough petty judginess. Don’t get me wrong, I agree with the moral crusading -- the book just isn’t funny enough to make me rehash all these issues again. Been there, done that, got the women's studies minor; I'm not learning anything or seeing any new perspectives. Or laughing all that much.I want to hear more about annoying friends and group dinner leaches, not three pages on how Nigerians are habitually late (the author is Nigerian, and habitually late) and entire chapters on why sexim makes no sense.Also, the little footnotes explaining that she’s used words like “damb” because “it’s more fun” … yeah, that’s not as funny as she thinks it is. Explaining a joke ruins it. Explaining accented speech is just… weird.There's absolutely an audience for this book; it just isn't me.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This did not affect my opinion of this book or my review itself.In I'm Judging You: A Do-Better Manual, Luvvie Ajayi takes on the woes of the world, and does it all with wit and passion. From racism to sexism, social media to religion, nothing escapes Ajayi's scathing side-eye or sharp humor.What Did I Like?This is a book where I walked away feeling educated and fired up. Ajayi knows what she is talking about, and she makes you feel just how messed up so much of our world can be.And she does it all with a wonderful wit, full of sarcasm, biting retorts, and honest humor. Just when things start to feel painfully heavy, she will have you laughing out loud on the train (true story, by the way). Ajayi is masterful at knowing just when to intersperse her brilliant humor.Anything I Didn't Like?The book occasionally felt a little repetitive in terms of style and substance. I suspect I would not have felt this way had I been reading an article a day on her immensely popular website, as opposed to taking in essay after essay as set out in book form.So...?Read this book. It is that rare find that will make you think and make you laugh.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I really enjoy what I've seen from Luvvie on social media; I think she's a strong voice and one we need to hear. Wasn't super sold on this book, though. Don't get me wrong, there were at least two parts where I laughed my ass off, but overall it was just ok.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book might not be for everyone. Parts of it could be considered political (which is always a hot-button topic for some people and therefore not something they want to discuss or read about) and humor is always subjective (which is why some people enjoy insult comics and others can't stand them and just want them to shut up). So, that being said the content and the writing style for this book might not appeal to everyone- so if you were going to recommend it to someone I would suggest you pick who you recommend it to wisely. I, however, found the book very amusing (as did my mother when I read little snippets to her) and enjoyed the book quite a bit. Not everything in it is something that can relate to everyone- and not everyone will agree with her opinions but that doesn't take away from how fun of a read the book actually was.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I found this book very difficult to get through. The author is trying too hard to be clever, and I never found the rhythm of her writing. I couldn't finish it.