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You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession
You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession
You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession
Audiobook8 hours

You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession

Written by Piper Weiss

Narrated by Brittany Pressley

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

()

About this audiobook

A highly unsettling blend of true crime and coming-of-age memoir— The Stranger Beside Me meets Prep—that presents an intimate and thought-provoking portrait of girlhood within Manhattan’s exclusive prep-school scene in the early 1990s, and a thoughtful meditation on adolescent obsession and the vulnerability of youth.

Piper Weiss was fourteen years old when her middle-aged tennis coach, Gary Wilensky, one of New York City’s most prestigious private instructors, killed himself after a failed attempt to kidnap one of his teenage students. In the aftermath, authorities discovered that this well-known figure among the Upper East Side tennis crowd was actually a frightening child predator who had built a secret torture chamber—a "Cabin of Horrors"—in his secluded rental in the Adirondacks.

Before the shocking scandal broke, Piper had been thrilled to be one of "Gary’s Girls." "Grandpa Gary," as he was known among his students, was different from other adults—he treated Piper like a grown-up, taking her to dinners, engaging in long intimate conversations with her, and sending her special valentines. As reporters swarmed her private community in the wake of Wilensky’s death, Piper learned that her mentor was a predator with a sordid history of child stalking and sexual fetish. But why did she still feel protective of Gary, and why was she disappointed that he hadn’t chosen her?

Now, twenty years later, Piper examines the event as both a teenage eyewitness and a dispassionate investigative reporter, hoping to understand and exorcise the childhood memories that haunt her to this day. Combining research, interviews, and personal records, You All Grow Up and Leave Me explores the psychological manipulation by child predators—their ability to charm their way into seemingly protected worlds—and the far-reaching effects their actions have on those who trust them most.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperAudio
Release dateApr 10, 2018
ISBN9780062803092
Author

Piper Weiss

Piper Weiss has served as editor in chief at Levo, editorial director for HelloGiggles, and features editor for the New York Daily News and Yahoo. She is the author of the book My Mom, Style Icon and has written for various publications, including Hazlitt, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Elle.com, and Refinery29. She lives in Brooklyn, New York. www.PiperWeiss.com

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Reviews for You All Grow Up and Leave Me

Rating: 3.5999999694117646 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

85 ratings11 reviews

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This book was a really interesting hybrid mix of true crime / memoir. It was very well-written, and definitely a worthwhile read for any true crime fans or even just fans of memoirs (a plus for fans of both!). This was the first book of this kind I've ever read, and it was fascinating to hear the perspective of the person actually involved.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Weiss has created a really interesting twist on your typical True Crime book. The narrative flips back and forth between her research process in 2016 and her memories of knowing and interacting with Gary Wilensky in 90's. I'll be honest and say that I found the chapters taking place in the 90's much more interesting than the present day ones. What makes this book so different from others in this genre is the fact that Weiss was NOT the girl Wilensky tried to kidnap in 1993. She was just another one of his many students, though that doesn't make her any less a victim. To know you spent so much time with someone who has Wilensky's capabilities and mindset, and that you TRUSTED that person is terrifying. The idea that it just as easily could have been her, and the question of why it wasn't has haunted Weiss for years. By the end of the book you begin to question whether the subtitle "A Memoir of Teenage Obsession" is describing Wilensky or Weiss.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Piper Weiss writes with unnerving perception and empathy, vividly evoking the worlds and mind of her adolescent self. A true crime book where the crime hides in the margins. Thoroughly engrossing and indelibly affecting.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I have never read a book like this before. It's not quite true crime, not quite memoir. It has the elements of both while at the same time being a psychological input straight into Piper's mind. I don't know the case that Piper was connected too. It does elaborate but there are still questions. The book doesn't really get an ending either because it is still ongoing. Even with all of the facts and living it, Piper is still confused as to why she is still obsessed with Gary and that comes across very well.I'm not wording this well. Basically, to me, this is a book about Piper trying to make sense of Gary and why she is obsessed with not being his victim. When she knows that she shouldn't be. When she knows that it should be wrong but she can't let it go. This book is all of her reporting, thoughts, and experiences put down on paper as a way to talk about what happened but also a coping mechanism. I hope the author got some piece of mind in finally sharing this story that has kept her confused for so long.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    It's hard to see this as true crime or as memoir. Sort of a hybrid, I suppose. Not being from NY originally, I had never heard of this case, so it was frustrating to be given only tiny pieces of it until the second half of the book. I agree with other reviewers that Weiss captured the intensity of teenage life and emotions well, but ultimately this was unsatisfying.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I was unfamiliar with the case that Weiss is connected to, which was a bit frustrating as I read this as Weiss waits until the end of the book to actually describe the crime (and yes, I definitely could have looked it up, but I wasn't that invested in it). This is an interesting book, as it's not exclusively about the crime and it's not exclusively a memoir. I can definitely see that some people will take issue with this book, but I felt as if Weiss captured the intensity of teenage emotions well and I'm not surprised that her connection to this crime became an obsession. Definitely an interesting read.Thanks to the publisher for an advance reader's copy, which I received as part of LibraryThing's Early Reviewers giveaways.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I found this book quite disturbing. Her tennis coach was pathologically obsessed with a girl Weiss refers to only as the "Daughter," about whom (although she's really the central character of the story) we learn very little. Weiss, meanwhile, is obsessed with the coach and wishes, even now as an adult, that she had been his favorite. She's obsessed, even now, so much that she travels to upstate New York to interview the detective who found the coach's body hoping (incredibly) to find photos of herself among his effects.It was a quick read - I kept turning the pages hoping to discover what happened to Weiss (answer: not much), or some sort of catharsis. But I'm finding it very difficult to review as a work of literature because to me, just an unqualified reader, it is so much a psychological cry for help.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Not always a fan of memoirs, but this one's description looked interesting. Not as interesting as I had hoped.The author jumps around in time and perspective and I never quite get to the point of caring about what happened the night Gary's secret was revealed.Gary Wlenski is a real person and the author, Piper Weiss, took private tennis lessons from him in the 80s and 90s. His treatment of his preteen female clients sounds innocent enough from Piper's perspective, but perhaps that is why she investigated this man long after his death. She never saw anything wrong with how he treated her and his other pupils. As stated initially, I never really got to the point where I cared what happened, but I did finish the book.I cannot be sure that Piper learned anything truly interesting about herself or about Gary.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I feel a bit mixed about this book. Piper Weiss is a former student of Gary Wilensky, a well known tennis coach of wealthy teenage girls. He was well loved amongst the rich Mahattanites and Piper expressed the eagerness to be his favorite client. It is eventually discovered that he had an extremely dark side and after being caught trying to kidnap one of his clients, he commits suicide. This book is Piper’s attempt to come to terms with her feelings regarding this and also a memoir of growing up as a teenager in the nineties New York City. I am approximately the same age as the author so I loved the references and episodes of teenagerdom during that time. I thought her exploration of feelings regarding her former coach weaker and felt like exploitation at times. Overall, though, I am glad that I picked this one up. I received this book from the LibraryThing giveaway in exchange for an honest review.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Quick-reading memoir with a sprinkling of true crime. Interesting look into the privileged world of a New York City private school girl whose journey through adolescence in the nineties is nonetheless relatable. Fascinating look at the effects of horror on those adjacent but not directly targeted; those who live with what if.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    "I don't know how much of this is a memoir and how much is crime reporting." - from the book, which is a strange mélange. In the 1990s, the author was a daughter of the noveau riche, in private school on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, when she was chosen for private tennis lessons by popular girls' coach Gary Wilensky. He ended up stalking another teenage girl, with dire results. The author's need to track down the details of Wilensky's life decades later seems ill-advised and futile, her vain attempt to discover why she herself was not chosen by the predator - and she does seem a bit disappointed. However, the quality of the writing and the vivid descriptions of how a life of privilege can backfire are redemptive, though I cannot recommend the book as a whole.Quotes: "That flat blackness that forces you to see your reflection in the window before you can see through it.""All that keeps you from disappearing is another person who sees you. What happens when they look away?""What's most insufferable about privilege - whether white, wealthy, physically able, or free from the trauma of abuse - is the denial of its existence. The assumption that we are all the same. That some small emotional bruise you once had is comparable to the jagged head wound another endured." "A stagnant rage is reserved for those already seated, and a fresh hell-fire fury for each person who approaches the hostess stand.""When I was walking beside him, I felt beautiful by proxy. He was an outfit I wore.""This need, still so vital, to chase male rejection as if it were the answer to the riddle of me."