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Bradley T. Guthrie
Today I live in a house and I am done moving around. I have had many
vehicles, a motor home and the toys to go with them. I have lived in so many
places but too drunk to remember much except the Ev...view moreToday I live in a house and I am done moving around. I have had many
vehicles, a motor home and the toys to go with them. I have lived in so many
places but too drunk to remember much except the Ever Clear label. I have
lost tools, furniture and furniture sets. I lost all the vehicles except my 1969
FORD and 2003 DAKOTA. I have spent too much money buying all these
toys trying to fill this void in my chest. Now it is filled with concrete. No lady
wants me so I live alone. I try to take care of myself still much effort is needed.
I contemplate suicide a lot. Even though, I always come to “I have been thru
too much and come to far to kill myself”. A hurdle that will last only so long.
I take a bunch of sleeping pills like 20+ then wake up the next morning? You
think someone is trying to say something? All I ask for is that Somebody love
me by Michael W Smith. I do not think I am asking too much? What I am
trying to say is We don’t have to take our clothes off by Jermaine Stewart to
show the love I refer to. All I want is a beautiful lady who will stay by my side.
Remember beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. To some she could be a dream
girl. While to others she is ugly. I do not care, to me she is my lady that is all
I need know. I still look at the sky which, may seem dumb. However, it is my
life and I will die if I do not struggle to my dream alive. If ever my angel shows
herself. Know that She will be loved by Maroon 5. I have grown so much in
this last year that you will never believe this story. All I have are the scars.
Well that is it I cannot live this life alone. By myself yes, alone no. Today
my heart hurts so, how am I to help people understand? Now you see why a
limited vocabulary is so detrimental. Although, my vocabulary has come leaps
and bounds from where it was. Things are getting better but I still have a long
way to go. This is why it has taken all these years. Wanting people to help not
harm. Knowing when to and when not to help is rather difficult. You just need
to know the person. At times I hold my chest when I drive. Some people may
think I am having a heart attack. When actually I am trying to recover from
one. See how crazy it is trying to fill these shoes. And their mine! I hope to
make me happy, my change starts with a girl. Love pass it on . . .view less