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Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas
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With sensitivity and insight, this series offers suggestions for healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful, ongoing part of life, it explains how people need to slow down, turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept support when a loved one dies. Each book, geared for mourning adults, teens, or children, provides ideas and action-oriented tips that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge personal void so that living their lives can begin again.
Read more from Alan D. Wolfelt
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Book preview
Healing Your Grieving Heart - Alan D. Wolfelt
Days
INTRODUCTION
Someone you have given love to and received love from has died. You are in mourning. You are bereft. To be bereaved
literally means to be torn apart
and to have special needs.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Perhaps your most important special need
right now is to be compassionate with yourself. The word compassion literally means with passion.
So, self-compassion means caring for oneself with passion.
While I hope you have excellent outside support, this little book is intended to help you be kind to yourself. Over my years of walking with people in grief, I have discovered that many of us are hard on ourselves when we are in mourning. We often have inappropriate expectations of how well
we should be doing with our grief.
These expectations result from common societal messages that tell us to be strong in the face of grief. We are told to carry on,
to keep your chin up,
and to keep busy.
In actuality, when we are in grief we need to slow down, to turn inward, to embrace our feelings of loss and to seek and accept support. It’s not easy to be self-compassionate in our mourning-avoiding culture.
But good self-care is essential to your survival. To practice good self-care doesn’t mean you are feeling sorry for yourself; rather, it means you are allowing yourself to heal. For it is in nurturing ourselves, in allowing ourselves the time and loving attention we need to journey through our grief, that we find meaning in our continued living. It is in having the courage to care for our own needs that we discover a fullness to living and loving again.
As promised, this book contains 100 practical ideas to help you practice self-compassion. Some of the ideas will teach you about the principles of grief and mourning. One of the most important ways to help yourself is to learn about the grief experience; the more you know, the less likely you will be to unknowingly perpetuate some of our society’s harmful myths about grief and healing.
The remainder of the 100 ideas offer practical, here-and-now, action-oriented tips for embracing your grief. Each idea is followed by a brief explanation of how and why the idea might help
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