Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Holey Moses
    Holey Moses
    Holey Moses
    Ebook48 pages37 minutes

    Holey Moses

    By Michael Goldsberry

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Volume two of Holey Hullabaloo, Holey Moses takes the reader on a journey from the books of Exodus through Joshua in round about 10,000 words, laughing all the way.

    This novella is best enjoyed with a rubber chicken close by.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMichael Goldsberry
    Release dateSep 20, 2011
    ISBN9781465903242
    Holey Moses
    Author

    Michael Goldsberry

    I live in Illinois with my beloved wife Chris and our fish, Puppy. They say, "Write what you know," so that's what I'm doing. Having read the Bible cover to cover many times I've often stopped and asked, "What's that little part about?" Some of my favorite stories flesh out those little parts. On the other hand, my writing is hardly biblical. I suffer, you see, from chronic goofiness. I hope you enjoy my little stories as much as I do. If you actually, literally LOL, I'm a happy camper. Oh, and I really do sometimes say, "Boink-boink." Sorry about that. Michael

    Read more from Michael Goldsberry

    Related to Holey Moses

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Excuses When God Calls

      Dec 30, 2019

      Excuses. There is never a shortage of them. People throughout history have always been quick to find an excuse. Way back in the Garden of Eden, Adam set the pattern of excuses when he tried to shift the blame to Eve and to God who gave him the woman.

      6 min read

    • Article

      Test Your BIBLE KNOWLEDGE

      Apr 22, 2022

      See how many of these you can fill in before checking the answers on page 74. After you test yourself, try reading the questions aloud to a friend or family member and see how they do! 1 How old was Noah when he had his three sons? 2 At the time

      1 min read

    • Article

      10 Strangest Bible stories

      Sep 9, 2021

      10 Strangest Bible stories
      5 min read

    • Article

      Why Babel Matters Today: Fighting Prejudice & Racism

      Nov 27, 2020

      In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus tells the parable of the Good Samaritan to show what it means to love your neighbour as yourself. In the parable, a man is travelling from Jerusalem to Jericho when thieves attack him and leave him on the road, severely wounde

      2 min read

    • Article

      Jesus Is Born In Bethlehem

      Nov 18, 2019

      Jesus Is Born In Bethlehem
      2 min read

    • Article

      The Hidden Origins of Mankind

      Nov 12, 2019

      The Hidden Origins of Mankind
      8 min read

    • Article

      Palabra

      Jun 1, 2023

      WHEN JOSEPH brought his young wife Palabra to visit Grandmother, his brother Ned, worried by the warmth and expansion of his chest, avoided his wife Stacey's eye, and Stacey understood that all eyes, male, female, old, young, were going henceforward

      5 min read

    • Article

      SAVED or SLAVED? #identity

      Jun 24, 2019

      SAVED or SLAVED? #identity
      2 min read

    • Article

      The Monkey Mother

      Jul 3, 2019

      The Monkey Mother
      2 min read

    • Article

      Howl Play

      Jul 23, 2021

      Howl Play
      2 min read

    • Article

      The Weirdest Ghosts Of All?

      Feb 25, 2021

      The Weirdest Ghosts Of All?
      4 min read

    • Article

      Chuckles

      Aug 12, 2022

      A three-year-old boy sits next to a heavily pregnant woman on the bus. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it? A guy goes

      2 min read

    • Article

      Test Your BIBLE KNOWLEDGE

      May 20, 2022

      1 Old and blind, Isaac was deceived by who pretended to be his brother Esau? 2 Which tribe was Moses born into? 3 What happened to the fish in the Nile River when Moses and Aaron turned it to blood? 4 What was the name of Aaron’s wife who was also

      1 min read

    • Article

      The Griffin

      Nov 4, 2020

      The Griffin
      3 min read

    • Article

      Entertaining Angels

      Aug 27, 2019

      Entertaining Angels
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Wolf

      Nov 6, 2018

      The Wolf
      12 min read

    • Article

      Word Search

      Aug 26, 2022

      Word Search
      2 min read

    • Article

      Word Search

      Sep 23, 2022

      Word Search
      3 min read

    • Article

      Mummy’s The Word

      Aug 6, 2019

      Mummy’s The Word
      3 min read

    • Article

      Following God’s will

      Sep 7, 2021

      Following God’s will
      1 min read

    • Article

      Lessons Our Fathers Taught Us

      Jun 7, 2019

      The lessons our dads instilled in us come up in conversation with some regularity. In my case, the lessons included how to drive, how to be an objective observer (There are always, he would say, at least two sides to every story) and how to comply wi

      1 min read

    • Article

      Muse Mail

      Jul 1, 2019

      Muse Mail
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Transfiguration

      Nov 26, 2020

      The Transfiguration
      3 min read

    • Article

      ‘The Quarter’ Shows Masterly Hand Of Nobel Laureate Naguib Mahfouz

      Dec 11, 2019

      The collection of short stories, published posthumously, gently lays bare the foibles of the denizens of a neighborhood in old Cairo.

      3 min read

    • Article

      The King Of Names

      Oct 16, 2018

      The King Of Names
      8 min read

    • Article

      The Last Word with Jonathan Weiner: The more science knows, the more rich and mysterious the world becomes.

      Nov 27, 2014

      Jonathan Weiner is one of our favorite science writers. He animates topics like evolution and genetics with personal stories about pioneer scientists that read like adventures you don’t want to end. You can go to the Galapagos Islands to marvel at bl

      6 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Holey Moses

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Holey Moses - Michael Goldsberry

      Holey Moses

      By Michael Goldsberry

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright © 2011 Michael Goldsberry

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. All resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the permission in writing from the author.

      This book is dedicated to my darling Chris and to anyone who owns a rubber chicken. Thank you for having a sense of humor.

      Holey Moses is part two of a larger project called The Holey Bible or Holey Hullabaloo. The first book was the story of Genesis told in a very silly way. This one takes us from Exodus through Joshua in the same silly way. Thank you again, dear reader, for spending time with our friends in these stories, goofy as they may be.

      Oh, and please don't forget to hug your chicken.

      Michael

      Chapter 1

      Now Regent Joseph, his brothers and all that generation lived to ripe old ages and died in peace. Pharaoh Al was worried that once again people would think him a god so he quit his job, moved back home to Babylon and became a porn star. Much time passed, as it has a habit of doing and a new ruler came to power who knew nothing of Joseph and all he had done for Egypt. The new king was a total shtarker, Pharaoh Momzer.

      Pharaoh became fearful of the Hebrews because they were very numerous owing to their boink-boinking skills. (The sons of Israel were so-called Hebrews because only the men drank coffee.) Pharaoh worried that should war occur, the Hebrews would side with the enemy and defeat his kingdom. Acting upon his fear, Pharaoh ordered stressful work and long hours upon them. But the more the sons of Israel were oppressed, the more their numbers grew. (Gotta unwind somehow, right?)

      When Pharaoh saw his plan to subdue the Hebrews failed, he came up with a far more wicked idea. He said to the midwives who help women in delivery, When you are helping the Hebrew women during childbirth on the delivery stool, if you see that the baby is a boy, kill him; but if it is a girl, let her live.

      What a schmuck.

      The midwives, however, were not schmucks

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1