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    The Introvert's Guide to Greater Success at Work and Home
    The Introvert's Guide to Greater Success at Work and Home
    The Introvert's Guide to Greater Success at Work and Home
    Ebook155 pages2 hours

    The Introvert's Guide to Greater Success at Work and Home

    By Edward Brewer

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    About this ebook

    Are you an introvert? Do others expect you to be more sociable? Do you feel guilty for needing some space? Maybe you are an extrovert who doesn’t understand why your introverted colleague isn’t more outgoing. Introverts can be disadvantaged by their communication preferences, especially when it comes to the workplace.

    Professor Brewer has been developing this project for a number of years because, as an introvert himself, he has made some discoveries about what has “gone wrong” in his own communication. Had he better understood the effect his introversion has on others (especially extroverts), he would have sought to be more aware of his own presentation of self and would have better managed his image earlier in life.

    This book will help introverts understand how their communication patterns are perceived by extroverts and help them adapt their presentation of self to the needs of their extroverted co-workers, family, and friends in order to communicate more successfully. But this book is also for the extrovert who wants to better understand the introvert for a more satisfying mutual relationship—and more success in business.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThe Educational Publisher/Biblio Publishing
    Release dateMay 10, 2012
    ISBN9781622490127
    The Introvert's Guide to Greater Success at Work and Home

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      Book preview

      The Introvert's Guide to Greater Success at Work and Home - Edward Brewer

      The Introvert’s Guide

      to Greater Success at Work and Home

      Edward C. Brewer, Ph.D.

      Copyright© Edward C. Brewer, Ph.D, 2012

      Published by The Educational Publisher at Smashwords

      www.EduPublisher.com

      ISBN

      For my wife, Pam, and daughters, Elizabeth and Emily . . . all extroverts.

      Acknowledgements: I would like to thank Carol Cartaino for her comments, suggestions, and editing of numerous drafts of this book. Thanks also to Adam Meloan and Paul Naberezny for various conversations and shared resources that started my thought process on this project. And thanks to Laura Brittain for the cover design.

      Contents

      Chapter 1: AN AHA MOMENT

      This chapter introduces the subject and explains the need for the book through a discussion of situations that everyone has experienced.

      Chapter 2: IT’S OK TO BE AN INTROVERT!

      This chapter provides a test that enables readers to determine whether they are introverts or extroverts, and to what degree, and explains the basic differences between extroversion and introversion.

      Chapter 3: EXECUTIVES SPEAK

      This chapter reveals and discusses the results of recent studies and underlines the importance for introverts of being socially skilled.

      Chapter 4: BUSTING THE MYTHS

      This chapter identifies and outlines some of the most common myths (negative stereotypes) about introverts and explains what the reality truly is.

      Chapter 5: STRENGTHS OF THE INTROVERT

      This chapter identifies some of the important strengths the introvert has and focuses on helping the introvert see the value in them, and how to make best use of them, at home as well as in business.

      Chapter 6: CHALLENGES FOR THE INTROVERT

      This chapter explains the many challenges an introvert faces in this extroverted world and offers specific suggestions for managing and improving image perception.

      Chapter 7: FINDING THE RIGHT CAREER

      This chapter examines the question: just what are the best careers for an introvert, if there is such a thing?

      Chapter 8: SECRETS OF CAREER SUCCESS

      This chapter walks the reader through the all-important processes of interviewing, workplace socialization and career growth strategies for the introvert.

      Chapter 9: THE INTROVERT AS MANAGER

      This chapter discusses some basics of managing and areas of communication that introverts especially need to be aware of if they are to be successful managers.

      Chapter 10: THE INTROVERT AS LEADER

      This chapter discusses differences between leadership and management and addresses specific challenges introverts have in order to be recognized as leaders.

      Chapter 11: SUCCESS AT HOME

      This chapter discusses the importance of the home relationships and identifies ways introverts can create strategies to balance their needs at home to improve both his and her home lives and work lives.

      Chapter 12: A WORD TO THE EXTROVERT

      This closing chapter offers the extrovert some tips for working with introverts for greater productivity and rewards.

      Notes

      Bibliography

      Additional Suggested Readings

      About the Author

      Chapter 1

      AN AHA MOMENT

      Reading through some of my student evaluations recently, I had an epiphany. It was not a new thought, really, but the crystallization of an idea that had been formulating in my mind for quite some time – a sudden realization of the effect my introspection has had on my relationships. It became clear that those students who had actually spent time with me one on one – after class, in my office, or in the hallway – saw me differently than those who had only experienced me during class time. You see I am an introvert. Yes, I admit it. I not only admit it—I am proud of it! But I suddenly realized just how profound an effect being an introvert had had on my relationships. As I looked back over the past 40 or so years, I had a new understanding of my relationships with family members as well as business associates. Being an introvert is not bad, but it does require a certain level of awareness and often calls for some adjustments in order to successfully communicate with others – both extroverts and other introverts.

      I owe the motivation to write this book to Adam Meloan, a student in the capstone course for the Organizational Communication major at Murray State University. I was the faculty member charged with evaluating his paper entitled Social Membership: What Is the Relationship Between Introversion and Extroversion, and the Perception of Organizational Belonging? His initial draft indicated that one had to be an extrovert in order to be successful. The introvert reading the paper (me) was unimpressed! Adam’s paper did not pass at first. I sent it back for further work. When Adam came to my office to discuss what he could do to pass the paper (and thus the class so that he could graduate), we had an enlightening conversation that opened both of our minds to the possibility that we were both right to a certain extent. It was those conversations with Adam that really forced me to consider the effect of my introversion on both my career and my relationships in general.

      I have achieved a certain level of success in my life. I have a wonderful wife and two fantastic daughters. I’ve had an interesting career thus far that has included experiences in business, as a pastor, and as a teacher. I have done well at all I have attempted, but I could have done even better if I had understood the effects of my introversion earlier. This book is a response to that realization. It is an explanation by an introvert of what being introverted is all about. In it I share techniques that have helped me and others to function better (and more successfully) in a world that is largely extroverted. My hope and desire is that after reading this book, introverts will better understand what they can do to increase their chances of success. And perhaps just as importantly, extroverts will better understand introverts and the positive contributions they can make in any business and/or relationship.

      Those All Important First Impressions

      Much in life depends on first impressions. We respond further to situations and people based on our first impressions. We hold fast to those first impressions. It is difficult and time-consuming to change our minds once those impressions are made. If our first encounter with Wayne is to observe him bumping into someone and knocking an armload of books from that person’s grasp, what happens next will likely affect how we respond to Wayne in the future. If Wayne stops and helps the person pick up the books, we will perceive Wayne as a nice guy. If the next time we see Wayne he is being unkind to someone, we will likely remember that first impression of Wayne as a nice guy and decide that the present unkindness is due to some exterior issue – Wayne is just having a bad day. However, if Wayne fails to help the person pick up the books that first time we see him, we will perceive Wayne as a jerk. Consequently, when we see him the next time being helpful, we will remember Wayne as a jerk and probably determine he must be after something with his helpfulness because, after all, Wayne is not a nice person. Fair? Probably not. But we form perceptions from first impressions all the time. Thus, positive first impressions are vital for success, and the extrovert may very well have an edge here over the introvert unless the introvert takes action.

      It is easy to see how these first impressions affect job interviews. There are many books and articles written to cover what one should and should not do in an interview. For the introvert, however, some things are just not natural. Thus, in an interview the introvert must be on and keenly aware of how he or she is presenting him or herself. This is true, of course, for the extrovert, but is much more so for the introvert because it is not an automatic reaction for him or her. Relationships – both personal and business – become more of an issue for the introvert, who sometimes is not aware of what others may be thinking in a given situation. The introvert is not always tuned into the importance of the perceptions others have about him or her, especially the first impressions. Awareness is the key for the introvert who wants to be perceived in a positive manner.

      First Impressions and the Extrovert Advantage

      Even when one is tuned into one’s surroundings, misconceptions can happen. On the same day a few years ago I met two members of the staff of an organization I was joining. I immediately formed impressions of both of them. One staff member behaved in a very outgoing manner and seemed quite friendly and interested in me as a person. The other was somewhat withdrawn and seemingly uninterested in my family or me. I decided I liked the first person and wanted to pursue an organizational and personal relationship. The second person I decided was unfriendly and not likely to become a friend. As time passed, I discovered that my first impressions were dead wrong. The outgoing staff member was self-centered and primarily concerned with himself. He was obnoxious and interested in me solely for what I could offer him. The seemingly withdrawn staff member and I developed a

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