Tuskers: the Movie
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About this ebook
Tuskers is a sci-fi comedy. The main story takes place in 2099; the University of Nebraska football team has not lost a game in ten years, although to finish a perfect decade, they must win one last game, with the hated University of Oklahoma Sooners. One of the main characters is a woolly mammoth, resurrected from a frozen specimen by the molecular biologists at the Nebraska Beef Lab. The evil genius, and richest man in the world, is Arly Hockrood, chemical engineer who developed Hockrood Hybrid Corn, a drought and heat-loving perennial plant from which rice and petroleum are now made and exported from Nebraska throughout the world. Hockrood hates the Nebraska football because of the way his grandfather, a can collector street person on campus, was treated years ago, and is determined to do everything he can to make NU lose this game. Unlikely heroines and heroes in this classic matchup between college football powers include Suzie, a college student, Tech, a Beef Lab staff, and members of the marching band, especially Charlie Robbins a tuba player.
John Janovy, Jr
About the author:John Janovy, Jr. (PhD, University of Oklahoma, 1965) is the author of seventeen books and over ninety scientific papers and book chapters. These books range from textbooks to science fiction to essays on athletics. He is now retired, but when an active faculty member held the Paula and D. B. Varner Distinguished Professorship in Biological Sciences at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. His research interest is parasitology. He has been Director of UNL’s Cedar Point Biological Station, Interim Director of the University of Nebraska State Museum, Assistant Dean of Arts and Sciences, and secretary-treasurer of the American Society of Parasitologists.His teaching experiences include large-enrollment freshman biology courses, Field Parasitology at the Cedar Point Biological Station, Invertebrate Zoology, Parasitology, Organismic Biology, and numerous honors seminars. He has supervised thirty-two graduate students, and approximately 50 undergraduate researchers, including ten Howard Hughes scholars.His honors include the University of Nebraska Distinguished Teaching Award, University Honors Program Master Lecturer, American Health Magazine book award (for Fields of Friendly Strife), State of Nebraska Pioneer Award, University of Nebraska Outstanding Research and Creativity Award, The Nature Conservancy Hero recognition, Nebraska Library Association Mari Sandoz Award, UNL Library Friend’s Hartley Burr Alexander Award, and the American Society of Parasitologists Clark P. Read Mentorship Award.
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Tuskers - John Janovy, Jr
TUSKERS
A Screenplay
Copyright © 2010 by John Janovy, Jr.
Smashwords Edition
This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s copyrighted work. Finally, if you know some Hollywood producer who would like to do this film, the rights are owned by John Janovy, Jr., who may be contacted at jjparasite@hotmail.com. Now sit back and enjoy the film.
ISBN: 9781301688807
Contents:
Synopsis
Characters
Screenplay
About the Author
**********
Return to Table of Contents
Synopsis:
Tuskers is a sci-fi comedy. The main story takes place in 2099; the University of Nebraska football team has not lost a game in ten years, although to finish a perfect decade, they must win one last game, with the hated University of Oklahoma Sooners. One of the main characters is a woolly mammoth, resurrected from a frozen specimen by the molecular biologists at the Nebraska Beef Lab. The evil genius, and richest man in the world, is Arly Hockrood, chemical engineer who developed Hockrood Hybrid Corn, a drought and heat-loving perennial plant from which rice and petroleum are now made and exported from Nebraska throughout the world. Hockrood hates the Nebraska football because of the way his grandfather, a can collector street person on campus, was treated years ago, and is determined to do everything he can to make NU lose this game. Unlikely heroines and heroes in this classic matchup between college football powers include Suzie, a college student, Tech, a Beef Lab staff, and members of the marching band, especially Charlie Robbins a tuba player.
**********
Return to Table of Contents
Main Characters:
Archie the woolly mammoth
Suzie Alexander
Suzie’s grandfather
Suzie’s friend
Charlie Robbins, a tuba player
Suzie’s grandfather
Tech, a Nebraska Beef Lab technician
Trace, a second technician at the Beef Lab
Arly Hockrood, the richest man in the world
Marvin, Hockrood’s valet and helicopter pilot
Billy Boy Peebles, Nebraska football coach
Sam Bangham, Nebraska defensive coach
Mort Flint, Nebraska academic counselor
Team leader, beef lab
West Edmond Wilcox, OU coach
Elmer Evans, Assistant OU coach
Female spy
Male spy
Various players on several teams
**********
Return to Table of Contents
Screenplay
1. INT. – MUSEUM (MORRILL HALL, UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA STATE MUSEUM)
Screen virtually dark, with only a hint of light. A date appears on the screen: November, 2080. Close up of hand pushing a bank of light switches. We are in a gigantic, cavernous, dimly-lighted, room—Elephant Hall. Around the sides of the room are fossil skeletons of mastodonts, mammoths, and a few, much smaller, modern elephant skeletons for comparison. One end of the hall is a life-sized mural of a herd of woolly mammoths crossing a frozen stream bed, their breath fogging in the Ice Age air. Two people enter the hall, an older, dignified, gentleman and a beautiful, precocious, bright-eyed, highly intelligent, three-year old girl holding the man’s hand. Setting is mystic, girl’s conversation is filled with wonder, man’s voice is resigned but very patient. Young girl is Suzie Alexander; gentleman is her Grandpa.
SUZIE
Grandpa, they’re so beautiful!
GRANDPA
I’m sure they were beautiful. They’ve been dead for millions of years.
Suzie slips her hand out of Grandpa’s, walks toward the largest skeleton, a towering woolly mammoth, looking up at his skull. She gets down on her knees to examine the labels, mammoth tooth fossils for kids to touch. Grandpa joins her, kneeling down, reading labels.
SUZIE
What does it say, Grandpa? (Suzie touches the numbers.)
GRANDPA
It says I was wrong about the millions. These have been gone only for a few thousand years. Suzie’s gaze turns to the mural. Her eyes widen.
SUZIE
I want one, Grandpa. Can I have one?
GRANDPA
Sorry, kid. About the only way you’re going to get something that big is to marry a football player.
SUZIE
Then I’ll marry a football player. (She stands up, smiles; big, satisfied, smile.) Grandpa?
GRANDPA
Yes, Suzie?
SUZIE
What’s a football player?
Grandpa stands up, takes her hand, follows her gaze toward the mural.
GRANDPA
I guess maybe your Mom and Dad haven’t taught you everything about Nebraska, have they?
SUZIE
They teach me Mozart. (She pretends to be playing the piano.)
GRANDPA
Sorry, kid. Not good enough. (Puts his hand over his heart, smiles.)
CUT TO:
BEGIN CREDIT SEQUENCE
TUSKERS
2. EXT. – MEMORIAL STADIUM
College football game in progress. Violent clash of bodies and equipment, cursing, taunting, coaches screaming, players bloody. The Nebraska Cornhuskers are obliterating their opponents; score is 56-0 near the end of the second quarter. Stands are filled with fans wearing red; it’s a violent belligerent psycho-mob out of control.
3. INT. – ELEPHANT HALL
GRANDPA
(Kneels down, starts drawing plays on the museum carpet). Come over here, kid. Look. Players try to carry a ball over a goal line. Lots of other football players knock you down, try to keep you from crossing the line. That’s why the men who play it are big. (Pan Elephant Hall.)
SUZIE
Doesn’t sound very hard. (Turns back to the mammoth fossil label.) What does it say, Grandpa? Is this his name? (Runs her fingers over the name plate, closes her eyes, feels the Braille and raised letters.)
GRANDPA
(Still in his reverie.) We haven’t lost a game in ten years. We’re never going to lose, Suzie. Just think of it. NEVER!
SUZIE
Grandpa, is this his name?
GRANDPA
Too bad you’ll never get tickets, kid. It’s the one thing your grandmother and I were never able to give your mom. (He wipes a tear.)
SUZIE
Grandpa, is this his name?
GRANDPA
Why, yes . . . yes; I guess so. Archidiskidon imperator maibeni. (He struggles with the pronunciation.)
SUZIE
Archidiskidon imperator maibeni. Archidiskidon imperator maibeni. Archidiskidon imperator maibeni. (Suzie pronounces the name perfectly several times, obviously enjoying the taste of the words.)
GRANDPA
It’s a beautiful name, isn’t it? (To himself, wistfully, filled with amazement at Suzie’s abilities.)
SUZIE
I’ll call him ‘ARCHIE’ for short.
GRANDPA
Then I’ll call him ARCHIE, too! (Patient, smiling.) I am so sorry about the tickets, my child.
SUZIE
(Takes Grandpa’s hand, looks up at him. Suzie pulls at his arm.) Tickets, Grandpa? I don’t want tickets. (She turns back to ARCHIE, watching him as they leave.)
CONTINUE OPENING CREDITS
4. EXT. – MEMORIAL STADIUM
Violent clash of bodies and equipment, cursing, taunting, coaches screaming, fans screaming, players bloody. Zoom in on luxury sky box seats, pan across the stadium. Luxury sky boxes are filled with crazy fans, except for one. Zoom in on that one, empty except for a skinny, sour-faced, middle-aged Nixon-type man, Arly Hockrood, and his personal servant, Marvin. A sign/logo across the front of this box reads HOCKROOD BIOENGINEERING.
5. INT. – SKY BOX
Inside the glass-enclosed sky box; suddenly complete silence.
MARVIN
Here’s your drink, Mr. Hockrood.
HOCKROOD
(Ignoring Marvin, screams into a microphone; sound bellows through the stadium.) Pitchout left, you idiots! They’re gonna run a pitchout left!
MARVIN
I don’t think they heard you, Mr. Hockrood.
Hockrood is furious; grabs the drink; screams into the microphone again.
HOCKROOD
Look out for the pitchout left! Idiots! You’re all idiots!
Violent clash of bodies and equipment, cursing, taunting, coaches screaming, players bloody. Nebraska scores again (on a pitchout left).
MARVIN
One of these days, Mr. Hockrood. (Looks out on the field.) One of these days someone will beat Nebraska. And just think, Mr. Hockrood; you’ll be here to watch it.
HOCKROOD
Marvin, you complete fool! I’ll not only be here to watch it, I’ll be here to cause it!
MARVIN
But even when you tell them all the plays, Mr. Hockrood, they still can’t beat Nebraska.
HOCKROOD
Some day, Marvin. Some day, someone