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    Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love
    Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love
    Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love
    Ebook54 pages42 minutes

    Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love

    By Vera Nazarian

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    The critically acclaimed author of MANSFIELD PARK AND MUMMIES tackles a hilarious new parody topic -- supernatural relationship advice!

    Admit it, you've secretly dreamed of dating a sexy brooding vampire or an alpha werewolf...

    But what about dating zombies, mummies, angels, fairies, demons, ghosts, random spotted aliens with tentacles, or other random metaphysical impossibilities?

    Furthermore, what if those paranormal beings in turn dreamed of dating each other -- each one in search of their own supernatural soul mates?

    The answer lies, as usual, in the planets, and the entire solar system of planetary harmonic alignment.

    Take the supernatural compatibility test and discover your own soul planet.

    Discover what planet rules which supernatural species, and which paranormal personality combinations offer the most compatibility to each other -- and to you.

    And then, be matched with the supernatural soul mate of your wildest dreams!

    It's all in here!

    Plus, as a special bonus, discover the Supernatural Matchmaker's greatest advice -- the Love Secret.

    VAMPIRES ARE FROM VENUS, WEREWOLVES ARE FROM MARS:
    A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherNorilana Books
    Release dateFeb 17, 2013
    ISBN9781607621171
    Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love
    Author

    Vera Nazarian

    VERA NAZARIAN is a two-time Nebula Award Finalist, 2018 Dragon Award Finalist, award-winning artist, a member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, and a writer with a penchant for moral fables and stories of intense wonder, true love, and intricacy.She immigrated to the USA from the former USSR as a kid, sold her first story at the age of 17, and since then has published numerous works in anthologies and magazines, and has seen her fiction translated into eight languages.She is the author of critically acclaimed novels DREAMS OF THE COMPASS ROSE and LORDS OF RAINBOW, the outrageous parodies MANSFIELD PARK AND MUMMIES and NORTHANGER ABBEY AND ANGELS AND DRAGONS, and most recently, PRIDE AND PLATYPUS: MR. DARCY'S DREADFUL SECRET in her humorous and surprisingly romantic Supernatural Jane Austen Series, as well as the Renaissance epic fantasy COBWEB BRIDE Trilogy.Her bestselling and award-winning series THE ATLANTIS GRAIL is now a cross-genre phenomenon -- a high-octane YA / teen dystopian apocalyptic science fiction adventure, romance, and historical mystery thriller -- has been optioned for film, and is in development as a major motion picture franchise or TV series.After many years in Los Angeles, Vera lives in a small town in Vermont, and uses her Armenian sense of humor and her Russian sense of suffering to bake conflicted pirozhki and make art.Her official author website is http://www.veranazarian.comTo be notified when new books come out, subscribe to the Mailing List:http://eepurl.com/hKaeo

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    Reviews for Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars

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    • 5/5
      Book Info: Genre: Self-help parody/satireReading Level: AdultRecommended for: Anyone, but especially if you’re becoming sick of PNRDisclosure: I picked this e-book up from Amazon while it was on free promotion because I have enjoyed this author’s work in the past. No review was requested. All opinions are my own.Synopsis (altered for length): Admit it, you've secretly dreamed of dating a sexy brooding vampire or an alpha werewolf...But what about dating zombies, mummies, angels, fairies, demons, ghosts, random spotted aliens with tentacles, or other random, metaphysical impossibilities?Furthermore, what if those paranormal beings in turn dreamed of dating each other—each one in search of their own supernatural soul mates?The answer lies, as usual, in the planets, and the entire solar system of planetary harmonic alignment.Take the supernatural compatibility test and discover your own soul planet.Discover what planet rules which supernatural species, and which paranormal personality combinations offer the most compatibility to each other -- and to you.And then, be matched with the supernatural soul mate of your wildest dreams!It's all in here!Plus, as a special bonus, discover the Supernatural Matchmaker's greatest advice–the Love Secret.My Thoughts: This was really hilarious! Not only does it parody a self-help love manual, it also satirizes modern paranormal romances in general, as well as many urban fantasy tropes. Wonderful stuff! Given half a chance I’d probably quote half the book, but I’ll try to keep the quoting brief.“You’ve even sat in prominent window seats at bookstore cafés pretending to write a magnum opus on your laptop while reading paranormal romance blogs—all in order to attract the precious attention of a real vampire, werewolf, fairy (sorry, fae), angel, demon, spotted hedgehog alien from another planet, or some other winged, horned, or tentacled supernatural lover.”“Zombies also mill around like moo-cows. And if they go anywhere, they usually travel in mobs of infected individuals. Let’s call ‘em z-mobs. You know how that works—a pride of lions, a murder of crows, a z-mob of zombies.”I also discovered that I am an Almost Normal Earthling at soul. So, there you have it. A hilarious parody, wonderfully funny satire. If you, like me, are becoming a bit jaded about PNR, then give this a chance, and have a good laugh at it all.

    Book preview

    Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars - Vera Nazarian

    VAMPIRES ARE FROM VENUS,

    WEREWOLVES ARE FROM MARS

    A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love

    (A Parody)

    Vera Nazarian

    Published by Norilana Books at Smashwords

    Copyright © 2012 by Vera Nazarian

    Cover Design Copyright © 2012 by Vera Nazarian

    Ebook Edition

    April 3, 2013

    Discover other titles by Vera Nazarian at

    http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Norilana

    Epub Format ISBN:

    ISBN-13: 978-1-60762-117-1

    ISBN-10: 1-60762-117-7

    This book is a work of fiction. All characters, names, locations, and events portrayed in this book are fictional or used in an imaginary manner to entertain, and any resemblance to any real people, situations, or incidents is purely coincidental.

    All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

    Smashwords Edition License Notes

    This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

    * * *

    Vampires are from Venus, Werewolves are from Mars:

    A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love

    by Vera Nazarian

    Curiosities

    an imprint of

    Norilana Books

    www.norilana.com

    Don’t miss another book by Vera Nazarian!

    Subscribe to the mailing list to be notified when the next books by Vera Nazarian are available.

    * * *

    Table of Contents

    Introduction

    Universal, Absolutely Accurate, One Hundred Percent Infallible, Supernatural Personality And Compatibility Test

    Your Personalized UAAOHPISPACT Test Results

    How to Read and Interpret Your Results

    Venus—Your Vampire Lover

    Mars—Your Werewolf Lover

    Mercury and Moon—Your Fairy (Fae) Lover

    Earth—Your Almost Average™ or Androgynous Power Human Lover

    Jupiter—Self Love or Your Zombie Lover

    Neptune and Saturn—Your Mummified Object of Fixation or Stalker Mummy Lover

    Uranus—Your Asshole Demon Lover

    Asteroid Belt, Oort Cloud, and Pluto—Your Ghost Angel Lover

    The Supernatural Matchmaker’s General Advice to Soul Mates—The Love Secret

    Other Books by Vera Nazarian

    About the Author

    * * *

    Introduction

    Congratulations! You’ve just stumbled upon the best-kept secret to social relationships.

    Supernatural social relationships.

    For years you’ve read those books, watched those movies and TV shows, surfed the shady gray fantasyscape of the internet, attended conventions full of highly intelligent people wearing highly constricting costumes.

    You’ve even sat in prominent window seats at bookstore cafés pretending to write a magnum opus on your laptop while reading paranormal romance blogs—all in order to attract the precious attention of a real vampire, werewolf, fairy (sorry, fae), angel, demon, spotted hedgehog alien from another planet, or some other winged, horned, or tentacled supernatural lover.

    Because it is a well-known fact they hang out at bookstore cafés. Or in alleys behind the cafés. Or deep in the sewers below the cafés. Or on rooftops above the cafés....

    Well, they do.

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