The Emotional Toolbox
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About this ebook
The technology is called The Reality Analysis Systems® to help people just like you to resolve your upsets and prevent yourself from getting upset. The communication tools in the ebook will allow you to see the difference between what you expect and the reality of a situation – and help you to resolve the differences to maintain your good health.
You will see, on the Upset AnalyzerTM forms – graphically -- in 7 areas of relationship, why you got upset, what issues upset you, and what you can do to resolve the upset, and prevent yourself from getting upset.
Here are a few seminar testimonials:
I never knew why I got upset when a customer shouted at me. Now I know and the pressure’s off of me!
- Utility Customer Service rep
I always thought a parent had to love a child until I found out that my son and his wife did not ever want to have a relationship with me. I had to emotionally leave.
- A healthier father
Seeing my role as the supplier to my supervisor gave me renewed respect for my own abilities.
- Corporate Manager
After doing an Upset Analyzer®, I was able to see why I had to break my relationship with who I thought was my long-time friend.
- Name withheld
You will see:
- where you hold upsets in your body
- How your body lets you know what’s upsetting you
- the relationship between dis-ease and upsets
You will understand:
- when& why you get upset
- what the 7 issues are that cause upsets
- why most people get upset for the wrong reason
- what to do when you get upset
You will know:
- how to change roles immediately to prevent an upsetting situation from becoming an upset
- how to tell when you’re being conned
- how and what to listen for when others speak
Why not open up a new chapter in your life? Your belief systems may be challenged to help you make the change.
Zalman Puchkoff
I grew up in Brooklyn, NY and entered a family business and worked in it for over 55 years before I retired. I'm a businessman, a software designer, a professional magician, and an after-school tutor.I always liked to teach and found myself as an after-school tutor for the board of education in Manhattan where I then lived. My wife Janet and I moved to Salem, SC and I again found myself teaching 3rd graders how to read as a volunteer in the Blue Ridge elementary school in Seneca.My first book published for Smashwords, Decisions 1.1 deals with people’s expectations about themselves, their desires, and belief systems, and how their brain works to protect itself, rather than to help its user. I like sharing what I learned over the years to help people make decisions that work for them and improve their daily life.Over the years I've been able to internalize the tools of my own trade and wish to share them with you so that when you are confronted with obstacles or forks in the road, you'll know which communication tools to use to move ahead and reach your goals.I have other books on the drawing board that will soon be available such as; Through Supplier and Consumer Eyes – your view determines your life; How to Find a Keeper – Reasons or results, what’s it going to be?; Break That Habit!; Yes You Can!I welcome receiving your comments, testimonials, and criticisms after you have read my books.I am also available for consulting services on the subjects discussed in my book. If you need a lecturer for your group or for consultation on personal and business issues, please contact me at zpuchkoff@charter.net.
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The Emotional Toolbox - Zalman Puchkoff
THE REALITY ANALYSIS SYSTEMS
What do you expect to get out of this ebook?
What magic words will transform your life into what you’ve wanted, maybe featuring something that other people have that you don’t have?
I’ll tell you. There are no magic words! So how do other people succeed, stay healthy, and you’re in survival most of the time? Their expectations are based upon their intention to succeed. If your intention is to succeed, you will succeed. If you fail, then it was your intention to fail.
Intention always shows up in your universe
If it is your intention to use the tools in this ebook and create what you want in your life, you will learn how to use the tools and work at it and succeed. Otherwise, this will be just another exercise in self-help that didn’t work. The truth believed is a lie!
Self-help is a misnomer. You can’t help yourself unless you use tools you already have or you have to get help from somewhere, use other resources, and then use those tools to build what you want to.
Think of anything that can be built or made in this world that
can be constructed without using a tool of some kind or another.
You can’t build anything without using tools. And nothing was ever accomplished by thinking alone. The cognitive word is ‘do’. You have to do something to accomplish something.
Tools can be defined as any resource that is used as an adjunct to build or create.
The tools that you’ll be learning to use in this ebook are communication tools – language tools. They express our thoughts and ideas and attitudes that must be put into motion – by doing. But you can’t be objective and effective when you get upset or stressed out.
During any interaction, you are either a Consumer or a Supplier of information or action. Consumers get things, take things, and Suppliers give things, offer things.
The purpose in life as a Consumer is to get what you want
and not get what you don’t want.
The purpose in life as a Supplier is to give what you want
and not give what you don’t want to give.
You might want to copy these two sentences down and commit them to memory as you will be referring to them quite a bit. You’ll also be adjusting your attitude and behavior when you recognize in each of these roles that you play in life when your purpose in life is not being fulfilled. Then it’s your business to do something about it.
You already have the power to create your life the way you want it to be, but perhaps you don’t have the tools or forgot how to use the tools you have to accomplish what you want in life. The tools in this ebook will provide you with the means and/or re-instill the power you already have to use new tools – communication tools -- to help you build what you’ve always wanted to build.
I’m a businessman and among other things that I’ve done, I was a professional magician. When performing, I would tell my audience:
"First, I’m going to tell you what I’m going to do
then I’ll show you what I’m going to do
and then I’ll do it – so you won’t ask me to do it again."
I entertained them and they almost always asked me to do it again. My answer, I wish my wife would say that.
They also said, Show me how to do it.
And I would answer Sure, how many weeks or months do you have to learn?
They didn’t believe me.
I’m not going to entertain you. I will show you how to use the tools, but you have to do all the practicing. The pun is, how do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice! It’s up to you to figure out first what you want to build as it’s your life!
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day
Teach him how to fish and he’ll sit in the boat
and drink beer all day.
The Reality Analysis Systems® of tools used in this ebook arises out of a methodology that allows you to see the difference between what you expect and the reality of the situation. The analyzer program deals with relationships, no matter with whom.
You will learn how to use contextual tools. You will see – on paper – graphically, when you fill out an analyzer, your expectations as compared to the reality of the situation. In addition, you will learn how to use conceptual tools, which are the language tools that in time you will learn to internalize, like learning a whole new language, so that you can manage your life using them.
Imagine that you’ve come to the end of this ebook, and you’ve read it from cover to cover and you’ve filled out every analyzer in the Reality Analysis Systems®. You’ve made copious notes on everything that had some impact on you. You probably have lots of questions and possibly doubts about what you’ve read.
What are you supposed to do with all this information?
If you are a little overwhelmed, you should be. You’ve been given TMI, too much information at one time. Building anything requires the ability to learn how to use new tools. But you can’t learn how to use more than one tool at a time. It’s not about multi-tasking. It’s about practicing one thing until you become an expert at it.
But you have to know what to build, and that’s the first step. You must clearly define a plan, much as an architect needs a blueprint; what do you want to build or create in your life?
If all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail
If you don’t know what you want to build in your life, how do you know which tools to use to build it?
The first tool you need to learn how to use deals with understanding Consumer and Supplier roles, which are in The Emotional Toolbox™, the companion guide to the Upset Analyzers™ which allows you to resolve your upsets with other people and prevent yourself from getting upset the next time the same or a similar situation occurs.
Using The Emotional Toolbox™, you will learn:
How to stop getting upset with other people
How to stop taking it out on your body
How to prevent yourself from getting upset
How to tell when you’re being conned
Why people get upset
…and more
If you can clearly define your goal you will know which tools you will need to help you build what you want. If you don’t want to build anything, you don’t have to pick up any tools.
Isn’t this simple when you put it down in writing?
I will empower you and teach you how to use new tools so you can build whatever you want. That is my intention. It can be how to feel like a kid again and catch fish with a pole and worms in a lake or create a new political party called, the ‘Empowerment Party’, or recreate your relationship with your spouse like the day you were married.
Accept the