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    Welcome To My Pond
    Welcome To My Pond
    Welcome To My Pond
    Ebook66 pages26 minutes

    Welcome To My Pond

    By FrogCheeks

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Why aren't there ever supertanker olive oil spills? All the animals would be pre-marinated.
    That would be delicious.

    The El Camino is the mullet of
    the automotive world.

    The first beer after work is almost as
    good as the nine I had during.

    I can't get the iCarly theme song out of my head
    and I have an erection. I hope they are not related.

    Brushing a dog is like eating crabs.
    You never finish, you just get tired.

    Creationists must think the
    Flintstones is a documentary.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherFrogCheeks
    Release dateMay 20, 2011
    ISBN9781458040626
    Welcome To My Pond
    Author

    FrogCheeks

    Amphibian that's going to be big someday. You'll see. FU Dad!

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      Book preview

      Welcome To My Pond - FrogCheeks

      Introduction

      I had a Facebook account and kept thinking of stuff to post things that may be considered inappropriate.I needed an outlet for things that I didn’t want my nieces or Mom to read.  So I created an anonymous twitter account.

      Here is a collection of some of the tweets that I posted over approximately a one year period.

      Some tweets have been edited for readability so they may be longer than 140 characters.

      Frogcheeks@gmail.com

      Welcome To My Pond

      FrogCheeks

      Copyright 2011 by FrogCheeks

      Smashwords Edition

      Table Of Contents

      January

      February

      March

      April

      May

      June

      July

      August

      September

      October

      November

      December

      January

      Tonight I'm gonna get really drunk and not fuck my wife. What are your plans?

      I was going to tweet a pic of my dick, but I can't hold the camera far enough away to get it all in the frame.

      Wait, wait. Casual Fridays mean clothes? Not sex? Well isn't my face red. My apologies to your assistant. Tell him to stop crying.

      Creationists must think the Flintstones is a documentary.

      I have a low sperm count, but the ones I have are ENORMOUS. When I jizz it's like tadpoles being dumped out of a bucket.

      Wife: I don't like the way you smell when you drink.

      Husband: Well, I don't like the way you look when I don't.

      If you are alone in your house, the way to guarantee your family will come home is to start masturbating in the living room.

      Two lesbians in the car behind me are making out at every red light. This would be great if they were even slightly attractive.

      Legos are kiddie landmines.

      Ex-wife is having a rough time with alcohol. She is drinking vanilla extract and mouthwash. Physically she’s a mess, but her breath is fantastic.

      Tomorrow I'm bringing my 6yo to a birthday party at a pool. I can't wait to inappropriately rub up against some MILFy goodness.

      How do you women fart with no hair on

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