Aussie Outback Yarns
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About this ebook
Aussie Outback Yarns is a worthy collection of short stories gathered over the years during the author's travels throught the great Australian Outback. These tales reflect the typical Aussie humor in the age-old tradition both in Australia and overseas of fireside yarn telling.Most of the stories are factual, although doubtless some have been "stretched" in the telling and many are humorous.
Whatever their origin, these yarns make for great reading and should appeal to all ages.
Richard G Tomkies
Former journalist and entrepreneur Richard Tomkies traveled the world and immigrated to Canada and lived briefly in the United States where he has many connections. Now residing in the northern tropical part of Australia where he spends most of his time researching and writing books. His first book, "Cannibals' Gold" first published in 2000 and after being reprinted a number of times was rewritten and added to and is in it's 5th Edition, becoming a best seller. It even came to the attention of a TV producer who has stated that the story would make a great mini series.The fourth,"Aussie Outback Yarns" is a book of short stories, many of which are humorous and mostly factual, although some may have been stretched a little in the telling - but they all make for great reading! More books have since been added, including two non fiction books, - "Captured...The True Story of the Crew of the Ill-Fated Schooner, Nightingale" and "True Stories of Early Australia," both of which are being very well received by their readers. The author is always pleased to hear from his many readers and appreciates their critiques. Simply email him at:- silver_connect@bigpond.com or visit his website www.aussiebooksite.com
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Aussie Outback Yarns - Richard G Tomkies
Chapter 19 – The Camp Cook
Chapter 20 – Unrequited Love
Chapter 21 – The City Padre
Chapter 22 – The Ship’s Cook
Chapter 23 – Revenge is Sweet
Chapter 24 – Oops! – Wrong Tank!
Chapter 25 – A Country Cop
Chapter 26 – The ‘Pouched Lion’ of Queensland
Chapter 27 – The ‘Proper Rat Bag’
Chapter 28 – Gelignite Jack
Chapter 29 – A Thief on the Gold Fields
Chapter 30 – An Exploding House and Drunken Riflemen
Chapter 31 – The Carnival Operator
Chapter 32 – Surviving Aboriginal Attacks
Chapter 33 – The Mystery of the Japanese Zeros
Chapter 34 – White Man’s Boomerang
Chapter 35 – The Policeman’s Pig
Aussie Outback Yarns
Preface
This book is dedicated to all those travelers of the Aussie outback and who enjoy the telling of yarns around their camp fires. These short stories are the result of collecting some of the many yarns out there over a period of time, while traveling around Outback Queensland and other inland parts of Australia.
Although many, if not all, are factual one or two may have a basis of truth which more than likely has been embellished in the telling over time. A few may be pure fiction – but make for good telling, nonetheless! The events related in Chapter 4 occurred to the author, and The Camp Cook,
in Chapter 19 for example, is a true story and the main character, who has long since been deceased, I knew and met many years later. The story in Chapter 22 involved a lady who is personally known to the author. In Chapter 35, The Policeman’s Pig
the actual name of the town, for obvious reasons, has not actually mentioned. In some cases, the names of actual people have been changed to protect their identity.
In collating these yarns, I am indebted to the many people who have taken the time to recall many of the stories and tell me various anecdotes that could be of interest in the compilation of this book, especially those who live or have lived in Mount Surprise including Mrs. Mavis Robertson, and well-known local identities, ‘Hamburger Mick,’ and ‘Outback.’
The outback of Australia is a vast area and accordingly, has a vast repertoire of amazing yarns, some sad and others hilariously funny, a few of which have been recorded here, but I know I have barely scratched the surface. I look forward to collecting more short stories of a similar nature for a further edition of Aussie Outback Yarns!
Those readers familiar with the Australian Outback will readily identify with many of the yarns herein, while those, who are not, will no doubt appreciate a little of the Australian sense of humor and life in the harsh and often remote areas known simply as ‘The Outback.’
It is hoped that the reader enjoys this small collection and looks forward to reading further collections of Aussie Outback Yarns! For those readers who have visited various outback towns, they may find many of the tales herein familiar. Story telling around camp fires has a long tradition both in Australia and overseas, so it hoped that some of the stories in this book may add to your fireside yarns.
For more serious reading, you may enjoy other books of mine that have already been published, including the bestselling and much acclaimed Cannibals’ Gold,
– a book based on many factual historical events set in far North Queensland, now completely revised and rewritten and sales are well into the Fourth Edition. This book, first published in the United States in 2000, a market for which it was originally written, tells the exciting story of how two gold diggers made a veritable fortune in gold – by devising a not exactly legal method which eventually brings them to the attention of the police. Constantly coming into contact with cannibalistic Aborigines hell-bent on killing and often eating the gold-seeking newcomers to their land, the two manage to survive being eaten and also capture by police, when disaster unexpectedly strikes – at a time when human emotions and love enter the affray.
Also, The Witch Doctor’s Curse,
– a novel with a supernatural theme set in North-West Queensland formerly published under the title Valley of the Damned.
This full length novel is soon to be republished under its new title. Based in the remote area of north-west Queensland in the 1880s where a settler establishes his vast cattle station but incurs the wrath of the local Aboriginal Kadaitcha or witch doctor when the grazier builds his homestead on sacred Aboriginal land. A curse is placed on the property with far-reaching consequences – right up to the 1980s when the American grandson for the original settler arrives from California to take up the property.
The ever-popular The Ghost of Cape York,
set in the remote and largely unexplored wilderness of the east coast of Queensland’s Cape York Peninsula – is a story beginning during World War 2 and goes right through to the present day. This book was inspired by a persistent rumor which may or may not have any substance of truth, involving the existence of an actual entire Japanese Zero fighter plane which was found almost intact when windswept sands temporarily uncovered the aircraft on the shores of the Cape.
Recently published in paperback form, is the true and fascinating story, Captured…A True Story Based on the Crew of the Ill-Fated Schooner, ‘Nightingale.’
This much-researched little book tells of the exploits of the crew and the skipper of a small, 29 ton schooner wrecked off the east coast of Queensland, Australia in February 1864 when they were captured by a tribe of wild Aborigines. Fortunately the white men were not eaten by the cannibal blacks but were enslaved for a time until they managed to escape to freedom – but not until their skipper, Captain Thomas Quinn succumbed to his ill treatment and injuries received at the hands of the savages.
Just released in e-book form is Death Stalks the Innocent
– a novel inspired by various events both in Australia and New Zealand. The story is set in a small central North Island town of New Zealand in the 1970s and revolves around the salesman of a used car company when he unwittingly becomes involved with a serial killer. The employees of the car firm who are all avid deer hunters, which includes their employer, become involved with the boss’s sex starved wife – a dangerous situation, as the Sales Manager discovers. Suddenly the town is beset with what appears to be the work of a serial killer – and a car similar to that which the Managing Director drives is seen near the scene of a shooting and now he is suspicious that his salesman is also having an affair with his wife – a dangerous situation indeed! Rumor has it that the employer may be the serial killer – but is he? Read it and discover the answer to the mystery…
In conclusion, I wish to acknowledge and especially thank our son, Quentin, of Coota Signs, NSW, formerly Skullduggery-Grafx, Ingham, Qld, for his excellent work in designing the cover of this Second Edition of Aussie Outback Yarns. I am also indebted to my wife, Katie, for her timeless patience with proof reading and her encouragement.
Richard G. Tomkies
Mount Surprise, Queensland. Australia
August, 2012
email: silver_connect@bigpond.com.
Chapter One
The Alcoholic
Old Ray was an alcoholic. In fact he’d been addicted to the grog for more years than he could remember.
The surprising thing was that he had lived as long as he had – some sixty-odd years. He lived alone – not that that was surprising. No self-respecting woman would have put up with him!
For a long time he actually owned a car – not that he had a driver’s license for very long. The local coppers saw to that! When he didn’t drive his old Holden – the Aussie version of the Chevrolet - he rode a bicycle and would go down to the estuary not far from his decrepit rented home and throw in a few crab-pots in a favorite spot. He generally was fairly lucky and always managed to land a few nice bucks which he would tie up with string – he didn’t fancy being nipped from the strong claws – he’d experienced that a few times and had several scarred fingers to show for it.
One day while heading home, he was pushing his bike along the pavement with a sugar-bag of crabs safely ensconced when he passed the local tavern. Suddenly he remembered how thirsty he was from all the hard work of catching mud-crabs. The lure of the tavern doors was like a magnet – so, propping his bike against a post, he picked up his bag of crabs and headed into the pub.
The bar attendant saw him coming ‘Hi Ray,’ she said as she filled a glass with the usual foaming brown liquid. Got yerself some more crabs, eh?
Ray smiled good-humoredly as he placed the damp sugar-bag on the floor beside the bar. ‘Yeah, Debbie – I got a few nice bucks this morning – looks as though they’re nice ‘n’ full, too!’ Reaching for the beer in front of him, he quaffed the lot in one go. ‘That didn’t touch the sides, love,’ he said as Debbie reached for the empty glass and replaced it with a full one. She was well used to this regular customer. Since there was no one else in the bar at that hour of the morning, Debbie