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    In The Stars Part I, Episode 4: Aries
    In The Stars Part I, Episode 4: Aries
    In The Stars Part I, Episode 4: Aries
    Ebook166 pages3 hours

    In The Stars Part I, Episode 4: Aries

    By Debbie McGowan

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Jess starts to come to terms with her condition in time for Kris’s TV debut;
    Josh and Eleanor attempt to resolve their differences before Toby’s christening;
    Jason’s hard work at Black Hole comes to fruition; George enjoys a nostalgic birthday celebration.

    * * * * *

    ‘Aries’ is the fourth episode of In The Stars. For those readers unfamiliar with the series, ‘Capricorn’ (episode one) re-introduces the main characters, so you could pick it up from here and perhaps catch up with the previous books later.

    In The Stars explores the day-to-day lives of The Circle—nine friends from high school, now it their late thirties—following them through celebration, loss, illness and life-changing decisions.

    Each episode covers the period of time indicated by the zodiac sign from which it takes its title.

    The full novels of In The Stars Part I: Capricorn–Gemini and In The Stars Part II: Cancer–Sagittarius are also available for purchase (paperback/ebook).

    In The Stars Part I is season four in the Hiding Behind The Couch Series.

    The story follows chronologically from The Harder They Fall (Season Three), Crying in the Rain (Novel) and First Christmas (Novella). It continues in Breaking Waves (Novella) and In The Stars Part II (Season Five).

    * * * * *

    What readers say about the Hiding Behind The Couch Series:

    “The remarkable characterisation in these novels is what makes them for me.”

    “This story reminds me of my favorite movies about friendship and relationships.”

    “Few authors have explored the depths of longtime friends within a group, or ‘circle’ the way Debbie McGowan has!”

    “I have a love-hate relationship with Debbie McGowan’s Hiding Behind the Couch Series. I love to read them, I HATE it when they’re over.”

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBeaten Track Publishing
    Release dateMar 29, 2014
    ISBN9781909192645
    In The Stars Part I, Episode 4: Aries
    Author

    Debbie McGowan

    Debbie McGowan is an award-winning author of contemporary fiction that celebrates life, love and relationships in all their diversity. Since the publication in 2004 of her debut novel, Champagne—based on a stage show co-written and co-produced with her husband—she has published many further works—novels, short stories and novellas—including two ongoing series: Hiding Behind The Couch (a literary ‘soap opera’ centring on the lives of nine long-term friends) and Checking Him Out (LGBTQ romance). Debbie has been a finalist in both the Rainbow Awards and the Bisexual Book Awards, and in 2016, she won the Lambda Literary Award (Lammy) for her novel, When Skies Have Fallen: a British historical romance spanning twenty-three years, from the end of WWII to the decriminalisation of homosexuality in 1967. Through her independent publishing company, Debbie gives voices to other authors whose work would be deemed unprofitable by mainstream publishing houses.

    Read more from Debbie Mc Gowan

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      Book preview

      In The Stars Part I, Episode 4 - Debbie McGowan

      In The Stars Part I, Episode 4: Aries

      Hiding Behind The Couch

      Season Four

      by

      Debbie McGowan

      SMASHWORDS EDITION

      * * * * *

      Copyright 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 Debbie McGowan at Smashwords.

      https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/debbiemcgowan

      This book is available in print at most online retailers.

      Cover Design by Debbie McGowan

      Licensed stock images: usage is not indicative

      of the models’ identity, activities or preferences.

      Zodiac Illustrations by Emma Pickering

      http://www.beatentrackpublishing.com

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      * * * * *

      This novel is a work of fiction and the characters and events in it exist only in its pages and in the author’s imagination.

      * * * * *

      Jess starts to come to terms with her condition in time for Kris’s TV debut;

      Josh and Eleanor attempt to resolve their differences before Toby’s christening;

      Jason’s hard work at Black Hole comes to fruition; George enjoys a nostalgic birthday celebration.

      * * * * *

      ‘Aries’ is the fourth episode of In The Stars. For those readers unfamiliar with the series, ‘Capricorn’ (episode one) re-introduces the main characters, so you could pick it up from here and perhaps catch up with the previous books later.

      In The Stars explores the day-to-day lives of The Circle—nine friends from high school, now it their late thirties—following them through celebration, loss, illness and life-changing decisions.

      Each episode covers the period of time indicated by the zodiac sign from which it takes its title.

      The full novels of In The Stars Part I: Capricorn–Gemini and In The Stars Part II: Cancer–Sagittarius are also available for purchase (paperback/ebook).

      In The Stars Part I is Season Four in the Hiding Behind The Couch Series. This book is also available as six separate episodes.

      The story follows chronologically from The Harder They Fall (Season Three), Crying in the Rain (Novel) and First Christmas (Novella). It continues in Breaking Waves (Novella) and In The Stars Part II (Season Five).

      * * * * *

      Acknowledgements

      Thank you to my wonderful proofreaders, Tracy and Andrea, for your persistence in / insistence on finding and then laughing at my dreadful mistakes, not to mention your extraordinary expertise in all matters, but in particular, those of bingo and health care! The Circle thank you, too!

      ***

      ‘Love Hearts’ used with kind permission:

      Swizzels Matlow Ltd.

      www.lovehearts.com

      Excerpts from:

      ‘The Signs’, by Henry Van Dyke

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Poems of Henry Van Dyke.

      Hamlet, by William Shakespeare.

      Reproduced under the terms of the

      Project Gutenberg Licence.

      www.gutenberg.org

      ‘Footprints In Your Heart’, by Eleanor Roosevelt;

      also attributed as

      ‘Today is a Gift’, by Laszlo Kotro-Kosztandi.

      Further bibliographic information unavailable.

      * * * * *

      Dedication

      For my friends on the flat roof:

      we steered a wayward ship,

      lost and found God, glimpsed Satan,

      didn’t learn a lot of Latin.

      And for Powelly, rider on the storm.

      Elf people, though, dude. Seriously?

      * * * * *

      Table of Contents

      Acknowledgements

      Dedication

      Dear Friends: Friday 24th March

      Shadows: Saturday 25th March

      Milk Bar Revisited: Monday 27th March

      Dog People: Saturday 1st April

      BF—FE?: Sunday 2nd April

      The Christening: Sunday 9th April

      Homecoming: Monday 10th April

      Black Hole Son: Saturday 15th April

      Love Hearts: Wednesday 19th April

      The Story Continues

      About the Author

      By the Author

      Beaten Track Publishing

      * * * * *

      In the magical universe there are no coincidences and there are no accidents. Nothing happens unless someone wills it to happen.

      William S. Burroughs

      * * * * *

      Aries

      Snow-white and sacred is the sacrifice

      That Heaven demands for what our heart doth prize:

      The man who fears to suffer, ne’er can rise.

      Dear Friends

      Friday 24th March

      They were sitting in her mother’s living room, the silence of the room a stark peace that neither wished to breach, but breach it they must. Outside, as if volunteering a call to action, a blackbird sang its soaring song. Jess passed the card across to Josh. He closed his eyes.

      You know what this is, she said. Josh may have nodded. She couldn’t be sure. If you think this is the wrong way to go about it, please… She couldn’t bring herself to make the offer. It was the only way she could do it. Josh blindly grasped for her hand. She found him.

      Before I read, tell me your plan. He was seeking objectivity, distance.

      I’m going to wait until after the weekend, let them read, give them time for it to sink in. Then I’ll give permission to ask questions, be angry, pretend it’s not happening.

      Josh opened his eyes again and examined the picture on the front of the card. It was a print of The Enchanted Garden, by John William Waterhouse, the painting left unfinished on his easel when he died—of cancer. They had once visited an art gallery, just to see that unfinished painting.

      I nearly chose Ophelia, Jess said.

      The one in the meadow? Even in the awfulness of the moment, he had to fight the smile.

      God, no. She looks like she’s just had an orgasm. The one where she’s sitting on the bough of a willow tree, looking all thoughtful and spiritual.

      I think this is a much better choice.

      Yes, I’d rather be remembered as unfinished, she said. And I still think he looks like you. She nodded at the card.

      He does not!

      He does. He’s definitely got that Gallic look about him. It’s the nose.

      He really doesn’t look like me. Josh examined the man in the painting again, as he had so many times before. He’s got black hair for a start. And he’s wearing a hat. When have I ever worn a hat? Never!

      Always the same justification. Jess laughed, listening to him.

      So, Josh said. He took a breath, then let it go. I guess I’d better read this thing. His heart quickened, yet his whole being felt as if it had ground to a complete halt. With massive effort, he moved his thumb and opened the card.

      It was handwritten. He hadn’t expected that. The message, he’d assumed, would be the same for each of them, although quite why he’d thought that, he couldn’t explain. He had not taken that emotional shortcut himself. And the handwriting: it was beautiful. Jess wrote in a free-flowing, cursive style, with great, swooping curves and delicate vertical lines ascending to meet the imagined horizontal guides of handwriting books from days gone by. The dots were precise and uniform, the spacing so even as to give the illusion that the page had been spawned by a hot metal press. The longer he gazed upon the words, the clearer they became, phrases emerging from the swirling splendour, sliding into one another to form sentences, then paragraphs, the beauty of their delivery lost to that most dreadful news they brought forth.

      ***

      Dear Josh,

      Forgive me for personalising this only insofar as I have used your name, and taken the trouble to write by hand. This should make it clear that I have not done this ‘the lazy way’. Rather, I feel that it will work best if you all have the same information. It will save confusion, and disagreement, later.

      Enclosed with this card, you will find envelopes containing three other documents, entitled ‘Advance Directive’, ‘Power of Attorney’, and ‘Last Will’. I give these to you as my closest friends.

      After several months of trying to hide from the truth, on Thursday, 16th March, I finally accepted the counsel of the wise, and agreed to attend the hospital. On Monday, 20th March, I did exactly that, and was given the results of tests conducted before Christmas. I have Stage 4B ovarian cancer. This is the most advanced stage of the cancer, meaning it has spread to other organs; in my case, my liver. It is incurable.

      I have already spoken to the consultant about my treatment options, and a Macmillan nurse is coming this week to discuss with me the types of support I want, and need, at this time. The term they use for this is ‘palliative care’. I would never presume that you would take on any of this care, but the nurse at the hospital said that supporting family and friends is as important to them as supporting the patient. I felt it was necessary for you to know this.

      My treatment: the oncologist has sorted out the bleeding for me, so now it’s straight on with the chemotherapy, to slow the progress of the tumours. They don’t like to answer that question: ‘How long have I got?’ and redirect it into all kinds of statistics on surviving to the five-year mark. But, I asked, realistically, how long? It’s all guesswork on their part. Months was the measure of the answer I squeezed from them. Months, along with a caveat about treatments, and results, and healthy eating, and positive outlook, and so on, and so forth…

      I am not ready to answer your questions yet, but I will be soon. Talk to me. Come and visit me. I want us to go out for coffee, or to the pub, to enjoy birthdays – all of those things we have always done, because I am still me. I’m just me with cancer. Treat me the same as you always do. Shout at me if I’m being a selfish cow. Mock me if I do something superlatively ditzy. Hug me if I’m sad. Hug me if I’m happy. In return, I will try not to die on you too soon.

      All my love, forever and always,

      Jess

      Friends, you and me.

      You brought another friend,

      And then there were three.

      We started our group,

      Our circle of friends,

      And like that circle –

      There is no beginning or end.

      ***

      He closed the card. She waited as long as she could before she spoke.

      Should I leave it? Tell them instead, when I’m ready?

      It weighed hardly enough, the card, not to carry such words; the smoothness of its pressed pulp flatness barely registered beneath his fingers.

      Of course, I still need to talk to Ellie. She spoke to fill the bloated moments, even though it was a consideration that would soon become fact. You know? About the offices and the lease—give her time to consider what she wants to do, discuss it with James.

      Josh opened the card again.

      And I’m going to stay with my parents for now, until they go on holiday, but I want to try and get back to normal, as much as I can.

      A frown, to conceal and obscure; that was all he offered.

      So I should give them the cards, then, like I planned?

      That we would do, we should do when we would, he recited quietly. He held the card

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