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    The Billy Joel Essays: Essays from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV
    The Billy Joel Essays: Essays from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV
    The Billy Joel Essays: Essays from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV
    Ebook40 pages29 minutes

    The Billy Joel Essays: Essays from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV

    By Chuck Klosterman

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    About this ebook

    Originally collected in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV, and now available both as a stand-alone essay and in the ebook collection Chuck Klosterman on Pop, these essays are about Billy Joel.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherScribner
    Release dateSep 14, 2010
    ISBN9781451624625
    The Billy Joel Essays: Essays from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV
    Author

    Chuck Klosterman

    Chuck Klosterman is the bestselling author of many books of nonfiction (including The Nineties, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, I Wear the Black Hat, and But What If We're Wrong?) and fiction (Downtown Owl, The Visible Man, and Raised in Captivity). He has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, GQ, Esquire, Spin, The Guardian, The Believer, Billboard, The A.V. Club, and ESPN. Klosterman served as the Ethicist for The New York Times Magazine for three years, and was an original founder of the website Grantland with Bill Simmons. 

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      Book preview

      The Billy Joel Essays - Chuck Klosterman

      The Billy Joel Essays

      Essays from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV

      Chuck Klosterman

      Scribner

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      SCRIBNER

      A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

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      www.SimonandSchuster.com

      Essays in this work were previously published in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs copyright © 2003, 2004 by Chuck Klosterman and Chuck Klosterman IV copyright © 2006, 2007 by Chuck Klosterman.

      All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Scribner Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

      First Scribner ebook edition September 2010

      SCRIBNER and design are registered trademarks of The Gale Group, Inc., used under license by Simon & Schuster, Inc., the publisher of this work.

      For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com.

      The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.

      Manufactured in the United States of America

      ISBN 978-1-4516-2462-5

      Previously published in different form in The New York Times Magazine.

      Every Dog Must Have

      His Every Day, Every Drunk

      Must Have His Drink

      Several months before nineteen unsmiling people from the Middle East woke up early on a Tuesday in order to commit suicide by flying planes into tall New York office buildings, I sent out a mass e-mail to several acquaintances that focused on the concept of patriotism. At the time, patriotism seemed like a quaint, baffling concept; it was almost like asking people to express their feelings on the art of blacksmithing. But sometimes I like to ask people what they think about blacksmithing, too.

      So ANYWAY, here was the content of my e-mail: I gave everyone two potential options for a hypothetical blind date and asked them to pick who they’d prefer. The only things they knew about the first candidate was that he or she was attractive and successful. The only things they knew about the second candidate was that he or she was attractive, successful, and extremely patriotic. No other details were provided or could be ascertained.

      Just about everyone immediately responded by selecting the first individual. They viewed patriotism as a downside. I wasn’t too surprised; in fact, I was mostly just amused by how everyone seemed to think extremely patriotic people weren’t

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