Identity Crisis: Reclaim the True You!

Identity Crisis

Reclaim The True You!

Tamara J. Buchan

Copyright

Smashwords Edition

Copyright@2014 Tamara J. Buchan

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Identity Crisis: Reclaim The True You!

www.reclaimidentity.org

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of Tamara Buchan, except for brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to Tamara Buchan at www.reclaimidentity.org.

The material in this book is furnished for informational use only and is subject to change without notice. The author does not assume any liability or responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any direct or indirect loss or damage caused, or alleged to be caused, by the information contained herein, or for errors, omissions, inaccuracies, or any other inconsistency within these pages, or for unintentional slights against people or organizations.

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ISBN-13: 978-1496189080

ISBN-10: 1496189086

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011942606

Quoted Scripture:

Scripture quotations marked NRSV are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Quoted Scripture from BibleGateway.com:

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright© 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked MSG or The Message are taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked KJ21 are taken from the 21st Century King James Version®, Copyright © 1994. Used by permission of Deuel Enterprises, Inc., Gary, SD 57237. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version which is in the public domain.

Scripture quotations marked ASV are taken from the American Standard Version Bible, which is in the public domain.

Printed in the United States of American

Cover Photos: Shutterstock

Cover Art and Design: Zizi Iryaspraha Subiyarta

Identity Crisis: Reclaim the True You. Copyright © 2014 by Tamara J. Buchan. All rights reserved.

To Jesus: This is my gift to You.

It is my privilege to journey with You through the writing of this work and

to experience the joy of Kingdom partnership with You.

I am forever changed by this experience.

May this book bring You glory and

be used for Your eternal purposes.

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, ‘Abba! Father!' it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ.

—Romans 8: 14-17 NRSV

Table of Contents

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1: Our True Purpose

My Discovery

Discovering

The Story of

We Are Esther

My Surprise Call

Chapter 2: Servants and Slaves

Joseph Becomes a Slave

Joseph’s Dreams are Realized

Moving to Egypt

Life in Egypt

My Own Burning Bush

Chained to a Pole

The Intensity of the Battle

Chapter 3: Jesus’ Friends

Peter’s Perspective

Finding God in the Ordinary

Peter’s Discovery

Living Life Together

Two Different Responses to Jesus’ Friendships

The Rest of the Story

Our Focus

Chapter 4: Children of God

Is Your Funnel Clear?

A Family Resemblance

Jesus Gives Us a Picture of His Father

The Three R’s

The Open Heaven of the Beloved

My Blessing and My Call

How to Recognize the Orphan Spirit

Chapter 5: Family of God

Families in the Bible

Generational Sin

The King’s Family

Jesus Redefines the Family

Power of the Family of God

Chapter 6: Faith Family Life: Our Greatest Opportunity and Challenge

Moving beyond the Three I’s

Our Family Name

The Challenge of Familiarity

Our Greatest Challenge and Biggest Opportunity

Chapter 7: Jesus Is Our Brother

Our Sibling, Jesus

Jesus’ Forty-Day Fast in the Desert

Jesus, Our Model for Life as Siblings in God’s Family

Life Together as Siblings

Chapter 8: Heirs of God and Co-Heirs with Christ

We Learn to Reign by Living as God’s Children

The Key Is Training

Living in the King’s House

What Is Your Choice?

Chapter 9: Life in the Palace

Daniel Moves into the Palace

Learning to Live in Your Babylon

Living as Citizens of Heaven

Why We Learn to Reign as Heirs with God

Chapter 10: The Invitation to Reign

My Invitation to Reign with the King

Our Trip to London

The Scheme of the Enemy

Chapter 11: Accepting the Invitation to Reign

Our Invitation to Write Decrees

Getting Started

Partnering for the Expansion of God’s Kingdom on Earth

Your Move into the Palace

Chapter 12: The Bride of Christ

Becoming One Flesh

Being One with Christ

Chapter 13: The Dwelling Place for God

Reproduction in Marriage

The Tabernacle

A Personal Story

Chapter 14: Where Do We Go from Here?

The Starting Point

What’s Next?

About the Author

Foreword

Understanding our God-given identity is foundational if we are ever to live out the full life that Jesus calls us to live. Everything Tamara shares in this book flows directly from the Scriptures, and you will find yourself enlightened, inspired, challenged and encouraged as you reflect on the profound truths she unpacks for us.

The message of this book is so profound because it comes out of Tamara’s own journey and life experience. It’s authentic, it’s real and it represents her desire that others may traverse the landscape she has crossed more safely because of the road map she has written.

Tamara is a pioneer in the truest sense of the word. Nowhere is this more clearly demonstrated than in her commitment to participate in the first 3DM Learning Community that started in May 2009 in Pawley’s Island, SC. The fact that she lived in Seattle, literally thousands of miles away, and Missio Lux didn’t have the money to participate was never going to stop her once she became convinced that this was a door the Lord was calling her to walk through! She insisted on paying the full Learning Community fees despite the fact we always offered discounts to Church planters. She found a way to bring a team of five to every gathering, saving scarce resources by flying the red eye on Sunday evenings to arrive in SC for a 2 PM start the following day. While others often complained of jet lag and lack of sleep, she never once let herself or any member of her team use this as an excuse for anything less than 100% engagement.

It says much about Tamara that she would ask me, a relatively unknown Brit, now living back in London, to write the foreword for her book. I feel privileged to call her my friend and to have had the opportunity to walk alongside her these past five years.

Tamara is a dear friend who has taught me so much about the particular challenges of being a female senior leader in what still remains predominantly a male domain. She has always been incredibly gracious and kind in the way she has led my thinking and allowed me to see some of the pain others’ insensitivities have unknowingly caused.

With my work I have the privilege of traveling extensively and always stay in the homes of leaders wherever possible. Watching them engage with their spouse, children, friends and team in the ordinariness of life reveals so much more about who a leader truly is. The time I spent in Tamara’s home with her family and team was simply a privilege. It’s the fruit that takes many years to cultivate but it is the fruit that lasts. Discipleship is long-term and costly. Tamara is a pioneer with a pastor’s heart. She happily brings challenge to all around her but everyone knows it comes from a deep desire to see them grow into all God wants them to be.

I have walked with Tamara through the highs and lows of ministry. She is a spiritual warrior and her faithfulness in praying for my family has meant a great deal to me. There are many leaders who I love being with; there are far fewer that I would unreservedly take into battle with me. The highest compliment I can pay Tamara is that I would be honored and blessed to stand alongside her in any spiritual battle. My prayer is that as you read Tamara’s book you will hear your Father’s voice speaking directly to you, leading you into a new place of confidence and freedom.

Steve Cockram

Co-Founder of Giant Worldwide

Preface

What does a dried dandelion have to do with an identity crisis? Everything, if we stop looking at it from a gardener’ perspective and start to understand its hidden value. The identities we adopt from the world are like dandelions the gardener fervently attacks before they dry up into the perfect ball of seeds, which spread all over the yard when the wind begins to blow.

If we think about our enemy, the Devil, as the gardener, we begin to understand his motive is to convince us that our identities are worthless weeds: throwaways when compared to the beautiful rose bushes right next to us. Our enemy, the gardener, thrives when we agree that our identities are discarded weeds, rather than boldly reclaiming our true identities from our Master Gardener: the Creator of the Universe.

To reclaim is to take that which is worthless and make it beautiful and productive again. An overgrown garden with dried dandelions can appear to be worthless. However, when the Master Gardener begins to blow the seeds, our lives suddenly wake up and start to take root in gardens we never dreamed we could inhabit.

My prayer for you is that you will begin to understand your value as a dandelion. You are a flower your Creator has hidden in his garden until the very time that he reveals your beauty and your value, both to himself and to the world. It seems nothing is more precious than a child offering a dandelion bouquet to his or her mother, who immediately sees its value, pulls out her fanciest vase and proudly displays her beautiful flowers for everyone to see.

You are that beautiful flower. You have a hidden value that is ready to be revealed as the Master Gardener reclaims your identity and then releases his destiny for which you were created. One day, your reclaimed dandelion seeds will be blown into places that will surprise and astound you as they make their imprint on the world.

The time is now. Let’s discover together how to move out of an identity crisis and to move into a reclamation process, which creates the most beautiful garden ever inhabited.

My grateful thanks go to those who have seen the hidden value in this message. Thank you to all you who have prayed, encouraged, and spread the seeds, and most of all to my two comrades in publishing: Anne Thompson for her faith, creativity, wisdom and steadfastness, and Helen Boyer, who continues to edit to discover the true weeds which must be rooted out. I am forever grateful!

Introduction

One of the greatest battles in our lives is understanding our true identities. No one has ever been spared from this battle: the serpent confronted Adam and Eve with this very battle. Moses was confronted with his identity through his whole life—growing up in the palace, experiencing the burning bush in the desert, going before Pharaoh in Egypt, and leading the Israelites through the wilderness. Even Jesus spent forty days battling for his true identity in the desert before he could begin his ministry.

Today, we are in an identity crisis. We’ve lost sight of who we are because we have too many voices speaking into us, telling us their perception of who we should be. We hear it from our friends, our spouses, our bosses, but even more from the media, which continually tells us we should be more, look more, make more…the voice of discontent constantly calls to us, seeking to create a desire within us that is never satisfied.

Sadly, I find the very voice that should matter far more than that of anyone else—the voice of our Creator—gets lost in all the other voices and messages pervading our lives. Sometimes, our own voice, the one between our ears, has the most power to persuade us, and it isn’t pretty.

The Apostle John tells us, But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right [and power] to become children of God (John 1:12 NLT). The words right and power originate from the Greek word exousia, a legal term for jurisdiction. When we stake our lives on the truth, we believe a God, who loves us and wants to have a relationship with us, created us. When we respond with a willingness to believe, we accept Him. And we become part of his family! When we do this, new boundary lines are drawn, creating an identity far beyond what we can imagine.

The old boundary lines of accusation and condemnation are wiped away. The new boundary lines are filled with invitation to step into a life that surpasses your dreams. You may be saying, Yes. I know I have that to look forward to in heaven, but the reality is God doesn’t want to wait until heaven to give us His gifts; He wants to start now—with life on earth!

We’re in an identity crisis because we’ve been duped—lied to, stolen from, and in many ways, destroyed. The thief, the joy robber of life, has come and tempted us into a series of agreements with the continual messages whispering to us we are small and our lives don’t matter. He wants us to accept the ultimate lie: we are not enough.

The goal of this book is to help you emerge from the crisis and walk into the place of truth—you are part of the family of the King. He has not only adopted you, but He also has given you his Kingdom, and He has invited you to partner with Him to help rule. I have a word of caution, however, about how to approach this book. If you simply read it, you will learn a few new ideas and possibly make some breakthroughs in your identity. My encouragement is not to read this as a typical book but to anticipate it as an experience with our loving Father and King.

When you fully engage in the Reflect and Experience sections at the end of each chapter, you will move from an intellectual engagement to a heart transformation. The gift of heart transformation is that it leads to life satisfaction. When our hearts are rightly aligned with the truth of who our Heavenly Father says we are, we become content and fulfilled in the deepest possible way.

You may even use this in a Bible study as every chapter has Scripture to engage as you seek to understand God and his Word on a deeper level. We have even created a Bible Study Guide for you, and it’s available for download at www.reclaimidentity.org.

However you choose to approach the book, my prayer for you is you will emerge from any identity crisis and walk into the place of the abundant life Jesus came to give us. It’s time to live in the power of your True Identity!

Chapter 1

Our True Purpose

O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!

Your glory is higher than the heavens…

When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—

the moon and the stars you set in place—

what are mere mortals that you should think about them,

human beings that you should care for them?

Yet you made them only a little lower than God

and crowned them with glory and honor.

You gave them charge of everything you made,

putting all things under their authority—

the flocks and the herds

and all the wild animals,

the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea,

and everything that swims the ocean currents.

O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!

—PSALM 8 NLT

We can fully appreciate the depths of our true identity when we explore the beginning of the story. As we take a look into God’s creation, the Garden of Eden, we will gain deeper understanding of His original design for us.

Imagine the beginning of creation. Everything in the Garden works together in perfect harmony. Blossoms sway from tree branches, flowers reveal their full glory, and rivers move with fresh, bountiful waters filled with fish and sea creatures. Animals co-mingle without danger or fear. There is no suffering. There is no death.

Our True Purpose

Everything in abundance; nothing was lacking. The most glorious creations in the Garden were the Man and the Woman named Adam and Eve. God took delight in them because He created them in His own image. He called His creation complete and took a day to rest and enjoy what He had made.

Not only were the Man and Woman created in God’s image, they also were given a God-like call:

Then God said, Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.

Then God blessed them and said, Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.

—Genesis 1:26-28 NLT

I like to think of Adam and Eve as the King and Queen of the Garden. The Lord told them to reign over the fish in the sea, the birds of the air, and the animals.

Our true purpose is to be like God and to partner with Him for the redemption of all creation. They had authority over all the earth: the water, the sky, and the land.

From the beginning, God created us to be in relationship with Him. God’s like us is the picture of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit existing in a relationship dance. Each person has a unique and special purpose, yet flows together in perfect harmony.

God planned it, He did it, and then He spoke to His crowning creation, Adam, and gave him the plan. Be fruitful. Multiply. Fill and govern the earth. Reign over every part—the water, the sky, and the earth.

After God gave Adam the instructions, He knew man should not be alone. God created Eve, the crowning beauty of woman.

Adam and Eve lived in full freedom in the Garden but with one small exception. They were to respect God’s boundary and not touch or eat the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. They could freely eat from all the other trees, including the Tree of Life.

One day, the serpent (the thief, the joy robber of life) entered the Garden and beguiled Eve. The peace Adam and Eve experienced was challenged. The crafty serpent began a subtle but deadly conversation with Eve. He asked her a question, which seemed innocent enough: Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees of the garden? (Genesis 3:1 NLT)

Eve answered him: It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die’ (3:3 NLT).

At that point, Adam and Eve didn’t know the definition of death. Death hadn’t been introduced into the Garden where everything was meant to live.

But the crafty serpent wasn’t content to let Eve believe the truth. He continued to speak enough truth mixed with just a little bit of lie to throw her off guard. He tells her, You won’t die! …you will be like God, knowing both good and evil (3:4-5 NLT).

The serpent planted the lie within Eve’s heart that God was holding out on Adam and her. The serpent also planted a more dangerous lie when he told her she would become like God.

Why was that dangerous? She already was like God, made in his image and carrying his DNA. She was His daughter and His crowning creation. The crafty serpent’s scheme involved getting Eve to doubt God enough to stop eating from the tree of life and to choose