She Thinks I'm Deaf
By Rich Zino
()
About this ebook
This book is the result of years of declining hearing on the part of the author and countless breakdowns in communication with his spouse which often resulted in heated arguments. Nothing tops the tempers that flair when the wife claims “I told you the Murphy’s had a new grandson, and when we had dinner with them you react like you never heard this. You make it look like I never mentioned this to you.”
Short of accepting my disability, I looked for many other factors that might explain what appeared to be significant hearing impairment. My frustrating journey through denial, excuses, spousal friction and finally surrender to my handicap is an exercise in discovery and renewed self-awareness.
“She Thinks I’m Deaf” gives a unique but light-hearted perspective on hearing impairment that comes with aging, offering several explanations why men experience this more than women, and providing tips for both genders on how to minimize communication issues.
Rich Zino
Rich Zino is a 1967 graduate of the US Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD, served as ASW officer then Weapons Dept Head on two destroyers, and published a book "Tales from Annapolis" in 2000. He lives in Boynton Beach, FL, and spends summers on Long Beach, NY. Rich retired in 2008 and keeps busy painting acrylic landscapes and playing clarinet in local jazz groups.
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She Thinks I'm Deaf - Rich Zino
SHE THINKS I’M DEAF
Richard Zino
Copyright 2014 by Richard Zino
Smashwords Edition
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Also by Richard Zino
Tales from Annapolis
Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Also by the Author
She Thinks I’m Deaf
SHE THINKS I’M DEAF
Sitting in Starbucks enjoying my morning coffee with a close friend, who’s also retired, I asked him As you’ve gotten older have you experienced any loss in your hearing?
He replied, Not really, but my wife thinks I have.
This was an entirely unsolicited response, but it is very common among men our age. Our wives are the first to point out to us that we never hear what they say – I think you need a hearing aid.
This exchange with buddies has not happened just once or twice, but on a regular basis. Over drinks after a game of golf I’ll ask the guys in my foursome the same question and it is rare that I don’t get similar feedback.
Now I’ve known many of these fellows for years and I have to admit that a few of them have become hearing challenged in their later years - but not all of them. Yet almost without exception our wives think we’re all going deaf. After pondering this phenomenon I have come to the conclusion that there are factors in addition to our body’s physical deterioration over time that account for this conundrum, and I have taken on as my own personal cause a quest to determine the scope of this problem and uncover solutions.
I went to my local library to research hearing loss in older men and found many medical books on the subject, but by and large they were technical in nature and did not delve into the consequent relationship problems between married couples faced with hearing issues. I even spent untold hours in local book stores reading passages in self-help publications but could not find exactly what I was looking for. I wondered seriously if there might be merit in writing a new book giving an entirely different perspective to this subject matter, one that related our side of the hearing issue in a compelling but amusing fashion. After pondering this question for some time I became convinced that this was a story that had to be told.
Initially I was reluctant to start writing this book because I wasn’t sure other men shared my concerns and I seriously questioned whether there would be a market for it. There were a few other reasons for my hesitation as well:
First of all, I’m not a health professional and have no special knowledge of audiology. Who am I to feel bold enough to claim any expertise on hearing loss? This book would have to include a list of disclaimers longer than my arm. There is no suggestion that hearing loss isn’t a real problem and doesn’t warrant seeking medical attention. In fact I myself have seen a number of doctors at the urging of my wife and a few years back I went ahead and invested in very expensive hearing aids, one for each ear. Sometimes, however, what is perceived to be a hearing problem may actually result from a combination of factors, including the wonderful but inescapable gender issues.
Second, when talking with my buddies on this subject I sound like a stand-up comedian. Many of the stories I relate would be hysterical if they