Narrowboating Other Waters
By Erik Ga Bean
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About this ebook
Little happens when three friends take to the water by narrowboat to rescue relatives and Reiki out universal energy, in this slow moving adventure of elephant encounters, green energy smuggling and biscuit enjoyment.
Erik Ga Bean
Science fiction fan, astronomy enthusiast and IT professional Erik Ga Bean lives in the English county of Hertfordshire with his wife Helen and his growing collection of carnivorous plants. As well as being an author, he is a keen narrowboater and a leading light in the Stevenage Plus social group.
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Narrowboating Other Waters - Erik Ga Bean
Narrowboating Other Waters
By Erik Ga Bean
Published by Erik Ga Bean at Smashwords
Copyright 2015 Erik Ga Bean
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
To my wonderful wife Helen.
Chapter 1 - On the Old Water
Carl had never thought of himself as someone who would own a narrowboat. He didn't really think of himself as someone who would ever again set foot on a narrowboat. Despite his misapprehensions, early in the summer of 2013, he was on the cusp of turning forty and about to come into possession of the NB Nelgumford.
Carl's view of life on the water was entirely based on a single memory formed from two boating holidays that he had taken on the English canal network, twenty years earlier, at the end of his first and second years at university. The expeditions had not gone well. In order to keep the cost per head down, the organisers had been forced to look beyond those undergraduates who had a real interest in narrowboating when forming the crews. Approximately half of the dozen on board had mainly been interested in getting drunk in a different place every day for a week, with no responsibility for getting from one location to the next.
As each week had progressed, the focus had inevitably shifted from sunny afternoons in waterside beer gardens to the very early starts that were required to get the boat back by the end of the week. Tensions would increase as the novelty of being constantly drunk wore off. Those not interested in narrowboating would slowly realise that they were essentially sleeping along a metal corridor on shelves that were not so much en suite, as beside a chemical toilet.
The food had been poor in quality and unfairly distributed, with the last to be served often only receiving a third as much as the first had taken. It was not possible for all twelve to eat at once. The tables on board only sat eight. At the start of the week there had only been eight plates, knives, forks and spoons - although this number fluctuated throughout the expedition. For no evident reason there were twenty-seven teaspoons throughout.
Boatmanship had not been overly evident. The on board water supply ran out only slightly more frequently than crew members fell into the canal, urgently needing showers after wading to the edge and climbing out of the foul smelling muddy water. Few bridges were passed without the boat bouncing off the brickwork and adding to the masonry collection on the roof. No boatyards were passed without a brief stop to run into the chandlers and replace the items that had been broken or lost to the waters over the previous few hours.
Unattached ropes were thrown. Bargepoles were snapped. Rooftop sunbathers were forced to run towards the rear of the boat as a low bridges approached. Life rings and a bicycle were swept overboard by low hanging branches. Crockery was broken. Many things, including shoes and blankets, were burned in misguided attempts at oven drying. A whole bottle of garlic puree smashed on the kitchen floor, releasing an odour that beat the chemical toilets to the bottom of the heap. Opinions were mixed.
One particular low point came when a drunken crewmate dropped the windlass, which he had just borrowed from another boat, into the lock. He had only needed to borrow a windlass in the first place as the last one on the boat had bounced off the cockpit and into the water when being thrown back on board after use at the previous lock. When yet another windlass had been borrowed, the crew had managed to catch the front fender on the lock gate.
As the water emptied from the lock, the boat had tilted up with ever more of its weight on the stern. Inevitably the engine had dropped below the surface before anyone could refill the lock. Fortunately the engine had continued to run while submerged. Unfortunately a great deal of canal water had got into the boat. Initially this water had filled the rear lavatory and ruined the bottom bunks beside it. Once the lock had been refilled, and the boat levelled out, the filthy water had run along the floor the entire length of the craft.
Things improved on board after the lock incident as the drinking cohort decided to abandon ship and make their way home by train. While this meant more work for those who remained on board, progress was faster and easier. Very little more got lost or broken. By navigating every single daylight hour, and conducting repairs on the move between locks, Carl and the other four had succeeded in getting the boat back to the home boatyard both more promptly and in a better condition than had seemed possible just a few days earlier.
Those long hours of teamwork had inspired the five to launch the second expedition the following year. The owner of the first boat had promised them lifetime banishment from the entire waterways network but this had never been forthcoming. The disagreement with the owner stemmed from the evident sense of proud achievement that the five felt in patching up the boat as well as they had done and returning it on time. Conversely, the owner fondly remembered the pride of his fleet unscratched, with a matching set of crockery and neither of the two most prominent smells.
As well as a new outlook on their relationships with the other members of the final five, they each took something away from the experience on the water. Jill formed a long-term love of life on the water. This led her into a career working in boatyards and freelancing as a mover of boats around the English and Welsh waterways. Suzy found that she had a natural aptitude for wrangling seemingly uncontrollable groups of drunken young men. Carl discovered a deep respect for Suzy. This developed, over several years, into a strong friendship, a relationship and eventually a marriage.
Chapter 2 - A Sad Contrivance
Two decades after graduation, Carl was running his own business consultancy from home. Mostly this meant doing very little but internet marketing. Occasionally he would get a gig, don his suit and present at the premises of a troubled firm. He would requisition a meeting room and spend a week requesting various documents and summoning various members of staff for individual interviews. At the end of the week he would return home. A fortnight later he would go back to the offices and present his findings to the board. His recommendations were often treated as if their content was based on superhuman insight, despite the problems almost always being blatantly obvious and the solutions to them suggested by staff members during the one to one meetings.
As consultancy work was infrequent, and Suzy was often away from home for long periods with her job, Carl also worked as a Reiki practitioner in a different name. He didn't actually believe in Reiki but he could put on a good show, as he did in his business consultancy. Instead of a business suit, he would wear a long wig, rose tinted spectacles and brightly coloured robes. After slowly and unnecessarily holding up proceedings by explaining the entire process to the patient, he would always insist on burning some white sage to settle the energy in the room before he began. He was seen as a leader in his field, amongst his local customer base of the bored wives of wealthy local businessmen.
Suzy's work took