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    Mercredi Trebizond
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    Mercredi Trebizond
    Unavailable
    Mercredi Trebizond
    Ebook159 pages2 hours

    Mercredi Trebizond

    By Andre Bertolino

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this ebook

    ƁŁŲȐɃ
    When I wrote this novel I still had the lyric faculty of boyhood that was as perishable and deceptive as youth. It was my first book published and it was not easy to write. I tried to make it an easy book to read, but I don’t think I succeeded. When writing, I had in mind as the target Audience an earlier time slice of myself, and I tried to produce the kind of book that I would have enjoyed reading. This proved a very narrow demographic.

    Writing a novel- actually picking the words and filling in the paragraphs, is a tremendous pain in the ass. Now that TV’s so good and the internet is an endless forest of distraction, its damn near impossible. That should be taken into account when ranking the all time greats. Charles Dickens, for example, who had nothing better to do except eat mutton and attend public hangings, should get very little credit.
    A writer’s job is to tell the truth—Ernest Hemingway
    A writer strives to express a universal truth—William Faulkner
    What a crock of horseshit. People hate the truth. It is literally their least favorite thing in the entire universe. People will believe thousands of different lies in succession rather than confront a single scintilla of truth.
    Try telling somebody one true thing about the human experience and they’ll turn on their TV or adjust their Netflix queue while you starve to death in the rain. People don’t trot down to the bookstore to pay $24.95 for truth.
    If you want to write a book that sells, it should include a laser battle, teenage wizards with ordinary lives, a dad who saves Christmas, love that crosses the years, funny workplaces, and stylish detectives. 60% of the top sellers over the last ten years included a murder. Just a heads up, this book includes only one of those elements, Murder.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAndre Bertolino
    Release dateApr 7, 2016
    ISBN9781311475589
    Unavailable
    Mercredi Trebizond
    Author

    Andre Bertolino

    Biography:At 5:23 AM on October the 18th 1980 C.E. 45◦ x 43◦ longitude, Andre Bertolino was born foot first, because he’s not a head first kind of guy. He was blue when he entered this world, and then he died. Dr. Thothmos called it “S.I.D.S.” and brought him back to life, because it would make Oneida hospital look bad if people died there for no apparent reason, other than a meaningless acronym. Also it was a matter of national security. American children are an asset, who else is going to fight our wars for us? Many ancient cultures would have just let Andre die, saying “this kid is obviously never going to fight our wars for us, he dies way too easy!”Andre has always loved food. His first word was, “cookie.” Not “mom” or “dad” or “baba.” His second word was, “Ma”, short for the Hebrew word for soup, Marrer. Andre reads ancient Hebrew at a second grade level. In most other areas he was a perfectly normal Earth born human child. Now he is 35 years old and six feet tall. He has won many awards, including the prestigious “employee of the month award.” He is composed of enough water to fill a ten gallon barrel, sufficient fat for seven cakes of soap, enough carbon for nine thousand pencils, enough phosphorus to make twenty thousand match heads, plenty of magnesium for one dose of salts, enough iron to make one medium sized nail. Ample lime to whitewash a chicken coop and an adequate amount of Sulfur to rid one dog of fleas. He lives & “works” in Savannah GA.

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