Fitting In & Standing Out: A Smart Woman's Guide to Business Success
By Jill DeBok
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About this ebook
While the feminist movement has accomplished many things, reaching the higher levels of business is still a struggle for women today. Young women need to develop unique skills to work alongside men successfully which will insure their careers have a chance to progress. Fitting In & Standing Out offers practical advice for young business women. This book is not a discussion about topics discussed in MBA programs or or in training classes held by your Human Resources department. This book validates the differences between the sexes in the workplace, discusses the tricky topics about women in business and teaches young women how to progress into their professional futures.
Jill DeBok shares the strategies that allowed her to navigate from an entry level position to a Fortune 50 female executive in a male dominated industry. She shares her experience and knowledge to help you
•Understand the differences between men and women in the business world
•Be feminine without allowing gender stereotypes to negatively impact your professional image
•Exercise work-life balance and personal safety without hurting your political capital
FITTING IN & STANDING OUT IS A MUST READ FOR ANY WOMAN ENTERING THE BUSINESS WORLD.
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Book preview
Fitting In & Standing Out - Jill DeBok
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION: THE RELUCTANT TRAILBLAZER
CHAPTER 1: IT’S A FACT, MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT
CHAPTER 2: I AM A FEMINIST, AND I BET YOU ARE TOO
CHAPTER 3: THE NEED FOR SUCCESSFUL WOMEN IN BUSINESS
CHAPTER 4: WOMEN AS LEADERS
CHAPTER 5: SILENT MESSAGES
CHAPTER 6: THE CONFIDENCE CRISIS
CHAPTER 7: PERFECTIONISM IS A PROBLEM
CHAPTER 8: MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
CHAPTER 9: GOSSIP GIRLS
CHAPTER 10: MEETINGS
CHAPTER 11: SPORTS AND BUSINESS
CHAPTER 12: FEMALES AS NEGOTIATORS
CHAPTER 13: RESPECT AND INFLUENCE
CHAPTER 14: AN UGLY BABY
CHAPTER 15: MANAGE UP AND DOWN
CHAPTER 16: SEVEN SECONDS
CHAPTER 17: MISS MANNERS
CHAPTER 18: LOVE YOUR CLOSET
CHAPTER 19: YOUR PROFESSIONAL IMAGE
CHAPTER 20: THICK SKIN
CHAPTER 21: THERE’S NO CRYING IN BUSINESS
CHAPTER 22: MANAGING EMOTIONS
CHAPTER 23: BEING A WOMAN
CHAPTER 24: THE WIVES
CHAPTER 25: FINDING SUPPORT
CHAPTER 26: MAKE LIFE EASIER
CHAPTER 27: TWO DRINK MAX!
CHAPTER 28: AVOIDING SEXUAL ADVANCES
CHAPTER 29: DISCRIMINATION AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT
CHAPTER 30: SAFE TRAVELS
CONCLUSION: A BRIGHT FUTURE FOR THE NEXT GENERATION
SPECIAL THANKS
BIBLIOGRAPHY
INTRODUCTION: THE RELUCTANT TRAILBLAZER
Today, I am a Fortune 50 executive and a single mom. I consider both to be great accomplishments.
Like you, my career began shortly after finishing college. With an undergraduate degree in Psychology, I had prepared for a career in social services. I quickly learned that my industry of choice would not pay my bills or offer job security, and so I changed plans and looked for a real job
with a company that could employ me through my retirement.
My corporate career began in the early 1990s working for a large consumer packaged goods company (CPG). I was quickly recognized as an up and comer
(up and coming executive) or a hi-po
(a high potential candidate), and my career has moved at a very fast pace ever since. I stayed at that company for three years then left to pursue a graduate degree. Before completing that program I accepted a job offer from a competing CPG company, and I still work for this company today. (Since then, I completed my MBA.) Over my 20 plus year career path, I have held 14 positions with progressively increasing responsibilities in multiple areas including a call center, street level selling, distribution operations, high level strategic selling, marketing, general management and several leadership roles. Due to mergers and acquisitions, I have technically worked for four different CPG companies. And, thanks to the diverse companies that sell our products as part of their business model, I have worked with many industries: grocery, convenience and gas, major league sports, movie theaters, schools, vending companies, healthcare, and hospitality among them. While I earned a master’s degree in Business Administration degree, many of the lessons I have learned in business were from the school of hard knocks.
My career has been a continuous learning path as I constantly prepare for the next role (or the role after that). It has been fast and fun and challenging every step of the way!
My industry involves manufacturing and shipping as well as selling and is physically demanding, thus very male-dominated. When my career began in the early 90s, women were not particularly visible in this business world. Women worked for the companies but in female-friendly
support roles such as secretaries or receptionists; women were rarely in leadership roles or high-impact roles. I had very few women to look to for guidance. Forced to find my own path, I made plenty of mistakes. But, I didn’t waste them. My mistakes were great learning experiences and often pole vaulted me into a new way of thinking which would help me, or create a rule
for me to follow that would prevent a future problem.
Fitting In and Standing Out is a collection of those workplace experiences and my advice for you – business woman to business woman. It discusses important topics that help us understand why women often struggle in male-dominated business environments and how to successfully compete against male peers. More importantly, it offers advice on how women can work within the male culture without abandoning female strengths such as collaboration, communication and empathy. Awareness of the differences between men and women in the workplace - and yes, as we shall see there are some which could be barriers - is an important first step. The better equipped young women are to recognize the potential barriers, the more able they will be to remove them.
My psychology degree has benefitted my business career. My ability to observe and understand behaviors and social groups has been a great foundation for success. Sociology taught me that social groups are everywhere, a basic part of life, and that includes the business world. Our actions, thoughts, and beliefs are often guided by society or the groups that we associate with. So as my career began, being accepted by my new work group was important. Sharing a sense of unity and common identity with my co-workers wasn’t about conforming to be like a man; it wasn’t about gender. I just wanted to be a part of the team, to be successful and prove that I was capable and committed, not because I was a woman just because I was an employee. I had to stand out within the organization in order to get promoted. As it turns out being a woman, among other things, helped me stand out. My career success developed from both my ability to fit in and my ability to stand out. The goal of writing this book is to help you do the same. Being a part of the male/business culture and standing out in a positive way ensures that the people who are making decisions about your future will consider you to be a part of the team and a future leader.
I would be remiss not to mention that some feminists disagree with my approach. Because men continue to dominate business leadership roles, some believe that men continue to favor and promote those who are similar to them (other men) and that this reinforces the stereotypes and inequality. Some believe that men should change to accommodate women instead of women adapting to men. I agree with the theory. I just don’t think it’s realistic. It isn’t fair that women bear the burden of adapting, but we will get further faster if we do.
I realize now that by learning how to fit in and stand out, I was a trailblazer - although I was a reluctant trailblazer. My formal education provided a great foundation, but my skills which allowed me to successfully work with men while being a female were self-taught. I never planned to pave the way for other women, and it never occurred to me that young women would follow my footsteps wanting to know how I succeeded. But today, I recognize the importance of my path and I want to help young women. My hope is that tomorrow’s female leaders can learn from my stories, avoid my mistakes, and benefit from the advice I offer. I want to make the business world easier for them because I was there and because I shared my stories.
In today’s world, women are better represented than ever before. It is so exciting and encouraging to witness the changes. Young woman today are more likely than men to complete college and attend graduate school. Young women today have a wide range of careers available to them, and today’s corporations are working hard to develop their talented, young female employees to prepare them for future roles as leaders within their organizations. Many companies offer special female programs that focus on inclusion, career development, formal presentation skills, networking, developing a personal trademark, and other valuable training, but I would argue that these lessons are valuable for all young professionals. There is a need to address some very real topics that prevent women from furthering their careers. As women, let’s talk about these issues rather than shy away from them. Let’s ignore political correctness and support each other. Let’s look at the gender