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    You Don't Look Sick: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving, #1
    You Don't Look Sick: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving, #1
    You Don't Look Sick: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving, #1
    Ebook152 pages1 hour

    You Don't Look Sick: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving, #1

    By AW Cross

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    About this ebook

    You've just been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Now what?

    Being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be. In You Don't Look Sick: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis, author and ulcerative colitis veteran AW Cross gives you a first-hand, non-medical perspective about what to expect from your illness and how to get through it with your sanity (and your favorite underwear) intact.

    Through a unique blend of practicality and humor, you'll learn how to:

    • Cope with the physical consequences and emotional impact of ulcerative colitis
    • Pack a survival kit and leave your bathroom with confidence
    • Dress, and have sex
    • Deal with healthcare professionals and enjoy your stays in the hospital
    • Endure poop jokes and use social media responsibly
    • Put on your big boy/girl pants and deal with it

    Whether you've just been diagnosed or struggled with UC for years, if you're determined not to let your illness define you, this book is for you.

    If you'd rather wallow in self-pity, have no sense of humor about your illness, and hate kittens and babies, DON'T BUY THIS BOOK!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGlory Box Press
    Release dateMay 28, 2016
    ISBN9780995099104
    You Don't Look Sick: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving, #1

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      Book preview

      You Don't Look Sick - AW Cross

      UDLSTitle

      A.W. CROSS

      Glory-Box-Press-Logo(1)(1)

      You Don't Look Sick: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis

      Copyright © 2016 by Glory Box Press

      All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of Glory Box Press.

      Requests for permission to make copies of any part of the work should be submitted to the publisher at Glory Box Press, gloryboxpress@gmail.com

      Cover illustration by Peter Cross

      Cover design by germancreative

      Book design and production by Glory Box Press

      Editing by Mia Darien

      A.W. Cross

      gloryboxpress@gmail.com

      Printed in Canada

      First Printing: May 2016

      ISBN 978-0-9950991-0-4

      Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

      This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

      For all of you who live with ulcerative colitis: you’re nails.

      Colonvsmall

      Table of Contents

      CHAPTER 1

      ULCERATIVE COLITIS: YOU DON'T LOOK SICK

      THE DARK CLOUD

      THE SILVER LINING

      CHAPTER 2

      I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE: PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES OF ULCERATIVE COLITIS AND HOW TO COPE

      CAN’T WAIT: ACCESS TO PUBLIC BATHROOMS

      COPING WITH A FISTULA

      CHAPTER 3

      BE PREPARED: PLAN AHEAD

      ULCERATIVE COLITIS SURVIVAL KIT

      FISTULA SURVIVAL KIT

      ADULT DIAPERS: NOT JUST A FETISH

      CHAPTER 4

      30, 000 POUNDS OF BANANAS: WHAT TO PUT IN YOUR MOUTH

      DIET DOS AND DON’TS

      IT’S BEETS!

      BULKING (YOUR STOOL, NOT YOUR MUSCLES)

      PROBIOTICS

      CHAPTER 5

      THE HAND THAT FEEDS: SURVIVING HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS

      HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      CHAPTER 6

      GET UP, STAND UP: EXERCISE AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      EXERCISE AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES

      CHAPTER 7

      LONG WAY FROM HOME: TRAVEL AND SOCIAL EVENTS

      TRAVEL AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      SOCIAL EVENTS

      CHAPTER 8

      SHAKE IT OUT: THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF ULCERATIVE COLITIS AND HOW TO COPE

      RELATIONSHIPS AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      CHAPTER 9

      AFTERNOON DELIGHT: SEX, PREGNANCY, AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      SEX AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      PREGNANCY AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      CHAPTER 10

      PAJAMAS ALL DAY: WHAT TO WEAR DURING A FLARE

      FLARE FASHION DOS AND DON'TS

      A WORD ABOUT ULCERATIVE COLITIS AND HAIR

      TIPS FOR ULCERATIVE COLITIS AND HAIR

      CHAPTER 11

      ASSHOLES EVERYWHERE: THE PEOPLE YOU’LL MEET

      CHAPTER 12

      BITE YOUR LIP AND FAKE IT: SOCIAL MEDIA

      SOCIAL MEDIA DOS AND DON’TS

      CHAPTER 13

      THE DRUGS DON'T WORK: A GUIDE TO BEING IN HOSPITAL

      HOSPITAL SURVIVAL KIT

      RULES OF HOSPITAL ETIQUETTE

      HOW TO ENJOY YOUR STAY

      CHAPTER 14

      EYE OF THE TIGER: TOUGH LOVE RULES FOR SURVIVING ULCERATIVE COLITIS

      ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

      APPENDIX

      SURVIVAL KIT CHECKLISTS

      GLOSSARY

      ABOUT THE AUTHOR

      PREFACE

      I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2009 after a long, nearly fatal process of testing and trials. The next few years of my life were like falling through the Looking Glass as I fumbled my way through the haze of near-constant flares. I became privy to a new way of life, and I discovered previously untapped resources in myself and others: endurance, empathy, and the ability to bend so, so far without breaking.

      Being able to find the humor, however black, in my condition was perhaps the greatest revelation of all. In a culture that is so impatient with chronic illness, being able to laugh at the very thing that gave me so much grief allowed me to keep what few shreds of sanity and dignity I had left.

      So in 2015 (now sans colon), I joined the NaNoWriMo rebellion, and I wrote what would eventually become three books—this is the first. Writing about what I’ve learned during my illness also inspired me to found my IBD blog, screamingmeemie.com

      I hope this book makes you laugh, and I hope you find it practical. Most of all, I hope it helps you realize that even though your illness may be invisible at times, you most definitely are not.

      A. W. Cross, 2016

      INTRODUCTION

      It's just a stomach bug. These are often the words spoken by the naïve individual just before their unstoppable descent into the bloody, excrement-filled abyss that is ulcerative colitis.

      Some among us will be affected so acutely that their colons will be sliced from their bodies in a haze of morphine and lime Jell-O®, leaving them free at last from endemic attack but scarred and forever condemned to a life of inhibited flatulence. They are the lucky ones. The less fortunate will linger for years in the paralyzing clutches of the Flare, a cyclical nightmare of pain, diarrhea, and hope, with no savior but the double-edged sword of The Corticosteroid, upon which they must impale themselves without mercy.

      There is no cure; even those who have had their organs excised and resectioned will bear the consequences throughout their lives. Is this affliction then an obstacle that cannot be overcome? An end to a worthy quality of life? Shall we simply give up and succumb to its insidious cruelty?

      No.

      Although it cannot be conquered in full, ulcerative colitis can be subdued, brought to heel, and assimilated. It can be survived, and survived with style.

      That is why this book was written: to help prepare you for making ulcerative colitis your bitch. This book is not for the self-pitying, or for the determined invalid. It is for those whose illness will not define them, who laugh in the face of the colonoscope, and who realize that, even in a diaper, they're still sexy as hell.

      The symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment of ulcerative colitis are not covered here—there are sufficient other resources for that. This book is about what comes after that initial attack. This is your battle plan. From this book, you will learn the basic maneuvers

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