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    From Us to Me
    From Us to Me
    From Us to Me
    Ebook105 pages1 hour

    From Us to Me

    By Dawn Millen

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Surviving widowhood during the first year is a challenge. Each day has its own unique set of challenges. Dawn Millen exposes her own first year in the hope it will help others deal with the heart wrenching journey all widows and widowers face. Nothing is left out and emotions are to the fore. 

    Reading this as a widow or widower is empowering and as family of the bereved it is a wonderful way to understand this complex and unique journey.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTwinny in a Tinny Publications
    Release dateMay 11, 2017
    ISBN9781386598381
    From Us to Me
    Author

    Dawn Millen

    Dawn Millen was born in North Wales UK has lived for long periods in New Zealand and currently lives in the beautiful Southern Highlands of New South Wales, Australia.  Dawn was widowed in late 2010 and wrote her first book, “Widowhood 101” was published in May 2012 and quickly followed by “Widowhood 102 – The Diary Entries” and “Widowhood 103 – Tears Grief”. Widowhood 103 was written in collaboration with Annie Watson. These books describe Dawn’s journey through the death of her husband and the first year of widowhood. There are more books planned for the series over the coming years as the changes wrought by the loss of her much loved husband become apparent. “Outback Exodus” was Dawn’s first venture into publishing her fiction work and the story has been written with a deep love of Australia which expands across the vast Outback and culminates on the beautiful East Coast Flood Plains.  “Settled on the Coast”  followed “Outback Exodus” and continues the story of the band of travellers as they set up their new lives  Gordon Under Attack takes you into the first year of settlement and the gangs which threaten the safety of the village. Sloan carries forward the story of the saviour of the village of Gordon.  New Generations carries the story of the settlement of Gordon 50 years into the future. If you enjoy the work please return to the place of purchase to leave a review. Dawn now adds a new series which has spun off from the Outback Exodus which picks up where Sloan finishes. The new series is called The Long Road South which was released in February 2017.   Connect with the Author on line Facebook    https://www.facebook.com/dawn.myfanwyn.millen https://www.facebook.com/JourneyfromWetoMe Amazon       http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B008NF9JLK

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      Book preview

      From Us to Me - Dawn Millen

      From Us to Me

      Book 1

      US

      ––––––––

      By Dawn Millen

      Edition 2

      A Book for the broken

      Text Copyright © 2016 by Dawn Millen

      All Rights reserved

      This is an autobiographical work and is the story of my journey during the first year of widowhood. It is intended for those who are widowed and/or divorced and are beginning the journey from coupledom to the single life, either willingly or unwillingly.

      ––––––––

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase another copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      This book is dedicated to

      To the wonderful people who surrounded me without whose love and support the first twelve months would have been so much worse. It is also dedicated to those within the Widow/er community whose help and love are a shining light to those of us taking the first steps on the journey from

      US to Me.

      Introduction

      After I had written a list of things I had learned over the 12 months since I first became a widow, I read it again before decided it would make a great basis for a book about the first year of my life as a widow.

      In 2016 I reread and decided to edit this work as it contains some things which needed fresh eyes. During discussion with one of the wonderful ladies who works with me it was decided to give the books a new title and a new place in the ever expanding market for self help books. Our journey in many ways over laps the journey of those who are recently divorced and it is with this in mind I begin again.

      I have been divorced and although it is more than 30 years since then I can remember the heartache and loss from the experience too. Although the journeys are not the same there are many similarities on the emotional roller coaster which becomes our journey from US to ME.

      I was widowed in December 2010 at 6am on a bright Australian summer morning. My husband breathed his last breath in our home and in that moment life, as I had known it for 27 years ceased to exist and the 25 years of care giving had suddenly stopped. At that point in time, like most widows, I descended into a fog which carried me through the first few weeks. This fog protects the mind to a degree and aids the bereaved in coming to terms with the sudden changes in their lives. Changes no one plans for. Changes no one wants, but changes which are happening all around you from the moment you become a widow/widower or the separation or divorce becomes final..

      My family and friends were wonderful, but were unable to reach me through the fog for many weeks. I remember waking each morning and putting my feet on the floor and wondering what I was going to do with the day now I no longer had my husband to care for. I think during that time I did withdraw from almost everyone and for that I am truly sorry. For my own sake and for the sake of others I needed to pull away and lick my wounds. I did not want to drag anyone down the path of grief with me and did not want anyone to witness the depth of the grief I felt. I have always been a private person with emotional things. Grief was always a private thing, not for public consumption. This is just part of the things I was taught as a child and something I have carried through my life and even now I am reluctant to show this grief to others.

      I did not cry at his funeral, the fog was still so thick there is still an unreality attached to the day. I remember the details, but they are almost misty and feel like they are someone else’s memories. I had promised him too, I would not let the world see me cry and to honour his memory I held myself together. I felt like ice inside with the tears ready to melt and slide down my face.

      I do believe because I had shed so many tears over the years we were together and during the many times when the Doctors told me he would not survive it in some way softened the grief. Those were the times for tears, grief for the little things which were slowly being taken away from him and us. The ever-present threat of death for all those years meant the grieving had become a part of life and may have softened somewhat the pangs after he died. I will never know as I can only share the journey I have taken in the hopes it will help someone else along the way

      Writing this book is part of my dream and part of the person I am. It is part, only part of the story of this year of my life. This book has come to mean a lot to me, sharing my personal journey with others also means a lot as this may help some other widow or widower with their start upon the hardest journey they will make.

      2016 brings many new experiences and fresh eye on the journey I have taken. It has been a long time, but time has a funny way of stretching or contracting during grief. The waves of grief can still wash over me and send me spinning out of control. The incidents are getting less and less, but it does still happen.

      Grief is something we all experience to different degrees throughout our lives. Our grief should never define us. How we handle the waves and how much courage we show as we scramble back up and lift our heads defines who we have become.

      Dawn Millen August 2016

      Table of Contents

      Chapter 1

      When you are hurting there is only you to pull yourself up

      Chapter 2

      Smile through the pain as no one else wants to see your hurt

      Chapter 3

      I can deal with more things than I thought, the car, the house, the yard and the other practical things in my life that I never knew I could do

      Chapter 4

      Don’t let your grief colour the joyful things in life, or you only ever see shades of grey

      Chapter 5

      Own your pain and deal with the painful things in life as they happen

      Chapter 6

      Don’t wallow in self-pity, that road leads to depression

      Chapter 7

      When you are down, reach out, do something active, dance, sing, listen to music, read, find something to laugh

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