The Case is Altered
By Ben Jonson
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Ben Jonson
Benjamin Jonson (c. 11 June 1572 – c. 16 August 1637 was an English playwright and poet. Jonson's artistry exerted a lasting influence upon English poetry and stage comedy. He popularised the comedy of humours; he is best known for the satirical plays Every Man in His Humour (1598), Volpone, or The Fox (c. 1606), The Alchemist (1610) and Bartholomew Fair (1614) and for his lyric and epigrammatic poetry. He is generally regarded as the second most important English dramatist, after William Shakespeare.
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The Case is Altered - Ben Jonson
THE CASE IS ALTERED
A COMEDY.
BY BEN JONSON
A Digireads.com Book
Digireads.com Publishing
Print ISBN 13: 978-1-4209-4091-6
Ebook ISBN 13: 978-1-4209-4194-4
This edition copyright © 2012
Please visit www.digireads.com
CONTENTS
THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY
ACT I, Scene i.
ACT I, Scene ii.
ACT I, Scene iii.
ACT I, Scene iv.
ACT I, Scene v.
ACT I, Scene vi.
ACT I, Scene vii.
ACT I, Scene viii.
ACT I, Scene ix.
ACT I, Scene x.
ACT II, Scene i.
ACT II, Scene ii.
ACT II, Scene iii.
ACT II, Scene iv.
ACT II, Scene v.
ACT II, Scene vi.
ACT II, Scene vii.
ACT III, Scene i.
ACT III, Scene ii.
ACT III, Scene iii.
ACT III, Scene iv.
ACT III, Scene v.
ACT IV, Scene i.
ACT IV, Scene ii.
ACT IV, Scene iii.
ACT IV, Scene iv.
ACT IV, Scene v.
ACT IV, Scene vi.
ACT IV, Scene vii.
ACT IV, Scene viii.
ACT IV, Scene ix.
ACT IV, Scene x.
ACT IV, Scene xi.
ACT V, Scene i.
ACT V, Scene ii.
ACT V, Scene iii.
ACT V, Scene iv.
ACT V, Scene v.
ACT V, Scene vi.
ACT V, Scene vii.
ACT V, Scene viii.
ACT V, Scene ix.
ACT V, Scene x.
ACT V, Scene xi.
ACT V, Scene xii.
ACT V, Scene xiii.
THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY
Count Ferneze
Lord Paulo Ferneze, his son
Aurelia }
Phoenixella } his daughters
Camillo Ferneze, supposed Gasper
Maximilian, general of the Milanese
Chamont, a soldier of France, friend to Gasper
Angelo, friend to Paulo
Francisco Colonnia
Jaques de Prie, supposed a beggar (Melun, steward to Chamont's father)
Rachel de Prie, supposed his daughter (Isabel, sister to Chamont)
Antonio Balladino, pageant poet to the City of Milan
Peter Onion, groom of the hall to Count Ferneze
Juniper, a cobbler
Christophero, steward to Count Ferneze
Sebastian, }
Martino, } his servants
Vincentio, }
Balthasar, }
Valentine, servant to Colonnia
Nuncio
Pacue, page to Gasper
Finio, page to Camillo
Page to Paulo
Sewer
Servingmen
Soldiers
The Scene
Milan
A pleasant comedy, called the
CASE IS ALTERED
ACT I, Scene i.
Count Ferneze's palace. The servants' hall.
[Sound: after a flourish: Juniper a cobbler is discovered, sitting at work in his shop, and singing.]
JUNIPER. 'You woeful wights, give ear a while,
And mark the tenor of my style,
[Enter Onion in haste.]
Which shall such trembling hearts unfold,
As seldom hath to fore been told,
Such chances are, and doleful news'
ONION. Fellow Juniper! Peace, a' God's name.
JUNIPER. 'As may attempt your wits to muse.'
ONION. God's so, hear, man! a pox a god on you.
JUNIPER. 'And cause such trickling tears to pass,
Except your hearts be flint or brass:'
ONION. Juniper! Juniper!
JUNIPER. 'To hear the news which I shall tell,
That in Castella once befell.'
'Sblood, where didst thou learn to corrupt a man in the midst of a verse, ha?
ONION. God's lid, man, service is ready to go up, man: you must slip on your coat, and come in; we lack waiters pitifully.
JUNIPER. A pitiful hearing; for now must I of a merry cobbler become mourning creature.
ONION. Well, you'll come.
JUNIPER. Presto. Go to, a word to the wise, away, fly, vanish.
[Exit Onion.]
Lie there the weeds that I disdain to wear.
ACT I, Scene ii.
[Enter Antonio Balladino.]
ANTONIO. God save you, master Juniper.
JUNIPER. What Signior Antonio Balladino! welcome sweet ingle.
ANTONIO. And how do you, sir?
JUNIPER. Faith you see, put to my shifts here, as poor retainers be oftentimes. Sirrah Antony, there's one of my fellows mightily enamoured of thee; and I faith, you slave, now you're come, I'll bring you together: it's Peter Onion, the groom of the hall; do you know him?
ANTONIO. No, not yet, I assure you.
JUNIPER. Oh, he is one as right of thy humour as may be, a plain simple rascal, a true dunce; marry he hath been a notable villain in his time: he is in love, sirrah, with a wench, and I have preferred thee to him; thou shalt make him some pretty paradox, or some allegory. How does my coat sit? well?
ANTONIO. Aye, very well.
[Enter Onion.]
ONION. Nay, God's so, fellow Juniper, come away.
JUNIPER. Art thou there, mad slave? I come with a powder. Sirrah, fellow Onion, I must have you peruse this gentleman well, and do him good offices of respect and kindnesses, as instances shall be given. [Exit.]
ANTONIO. Nay, good master Onion, what do you mean, I pray you, sir? you are too respective, in good faith.
ONION. I would not you should think so, sir; for though I have no learning, yet I honour a scholar in any ground of the earth, sir. Shall I request your name, sir?
ANTONIO. My name is Antonio Balladino.
ONION. Balladino! you are not pageant poet to the city of Milan, sir, are you?
ANTONIO. I supply the place, sir, when a worse cannot be had, sir.
ONION. I cry you mercy, sir; I love you the better for that, sir; by Jesu, you must pardon me, I knew you not; but I'll pray to be better acquainted with you, sir, I have seen of your works.
ANTONIO. I am at your service, good master Onion; but concerning this maiden that you love, sir, what is she?
ONION. Oh did my fellow Juniper tell you? Marry, sir, she is, as one may say, but a poor man's child indeed, and for mine own part, I am no gentleman born, I must confess; but my mind to me a kingdom is truly.
ANTONIO. Truly a very good saying.
ONION. 'Tis somewhat stale; but that's no matter.
ANTONIO. Oh 'tis the better; such things ever are like bread, which the staler it is, the more wholesome.
ONION. 'Tis but a hungry comparison, in my judgment.
ANTONIO. Why I'll tell you, master Onion, I do use as much stale stuff, though I say it myself, as any man does in that kind, I am sure. Did you see the last pageant I set forth?
ONION. No faith, sir; but there goes a huge report on't.
ANTONIO. Why you shall be one