Stretch for Change: Improve Your Change Fitness And Thrive In Life

Acknowledgements

Thanks to Julie Ptasinski for editing my articles and the first manuscript.

Thanks to Flavio Pina for designing the Stretch for Change model artwork.

Thanks to Luis Martos for editing and proofreading the final manuscript.

Thanks to Moira Dillon for designing the final images and charts.

Thanks to Juan Carlos Montes for illustrating the Enemies of Innovation.

Thanks to Ebook Launch for designing the cover and the interior of this book.

Thanks to everyone who contributed with ideas, those who pushed me to stretch beyond my comfort zone, and those who allowed me to push them beyond theirs.

Introduction

Stretching Beyond Your Comfort Zone

My friends seemed worried and perplexed that I had quit my job to start my own business. Are you crazy?? they asked. Why leave the security and comfort of a well-paid senior role at one of the largest marketing firms in Chicago?

Why not? I replied. I just turned 50. If I don’t do it now, then when?

Don’t wait for the right moment to show up. Create the right moment instead. That has always been my life’s motto.

On Age and Other Excuses

We normally associate innovation with youth. But if you look at the pool of physics Nobel laureates, you’ll realize that’s not always true. They made their groundbreaking discoveries at age 50 (on average) according to a recent study, which also shows that the peak of their creativity is getting higher every year.¹

I’m not, by any means, trying to demonstrate that being older is better. I simply want to make a point: age is not a real barrier. It’s just another excuse that we use to avoid pursuing our dreams.

When you ask kids to draw, they jump right into it. When adults are asked the same question, they panic. I don’t know how to draw, they might tell you. Not knowing is another common excuse for not trying new things. Once we’ve learned how things work—or don’t—we stop asking questions; our curiosity has been silenced.

That’s because our comfort zone has become too comfortable.

Stretch for Change

This book is an open invitation for you to pursue your dreams with passion—both personally and professionally. You don’t have to quit your job and start your own company, like I did (though you very well might).

What you must be willing to do is to challenge yourself. To let go of excuses and become comfortable with being uncomfortable: to prepare for and embrace change.

Being 50 could be perceived as a barrier for many of us. In my case, it was the perfect moment to launch Liberationist, a Change Leadership School.¹

I worked in marketing strategy for many years. I built a strong reputation; I was good at it and enjoyed doing it, too. But, at some point, I realized it was becoming too easy for me. And I’ve always been comfort-averse and challenge-inclined as an adult.

To be clear, I’m not trying to intimidate you here. I wasn’t always like this. Growing up, I was very shy. I suffered a lot when I was a teenager (like most of us do at that age), but, at a certain pivotal point, I decided that I was going to achieve my dreams no matter what. And, indeed, it took practice and experimentation to overcome my fears. I learned how to turn limitations into positive energy. Stretching beyond my comfort zone wasn’t easy. But it was my choice.

We are all presented with opportunities to live our dreams.

But only a few of us choose to follow them. This is something I always keep in mind.

Fifteen years ago, I quit my job to start a digital shop. My boss at that time didn’t believe in the potential of digital marketing, so I decided to create my own company. It went very well. Ultimately, I sold my shop to a global holding group, after which they moved me from Argentina to New York to start a marketing agency from scratch. Then came further ventures in LA and Chicago.

Experiencing new cities, diverse cultures, and becoming fluent in a second language stretched my mind and curiosity even more. Once we cross the line, we stop worrying about lines altogether. We fall in love with exploring the world that reveals itself in front of us.

I kept challenging myself by learning Design Thinking, Self-Organization, Agile, and many more critical skills and perspectives. I dove deeper into innovation and the startup community, advising entrepreneurs in Chicago. I learned a lot by leading and transforming several organizational cultures, from the way work is organized to challenging titles and hierarchies; from rethinking space design experiences to connecting personal and professional passions at the workplace.

Inspiring and coaching others to stretch beyond their comfort zones turned into a passion.

That’s why I wrote this book: to share what I’ve learned and to inspire you. Don’t expect recipes. I will provide a framework and exercises, but you will be the curator of your own experience. Your life is only yours.

Change Requires a Mental Preparation

"Opportunities are external. Limitations lie within you."—things I say to myself

Suddenly, as if coming from a distance, I heard a pop, yet at the same time it felt all-too close. I was standing on a tennis court, not knowing what was going on. My entire body felt paralyzed even as my hand was still clenching the racket. I knew something was wrong, but my mind was in denial, telling me to remain standing up. I was afraid until I let go. When my whole body landed on the ground, I realized my right Achilles tendon was torn.

Unexpected events are always affecting our lives.

And how do we react? We resist change. And that causes suffering.

Before playing any kind of competitive sport, we stretch our muscles and warm up. Not just to avoid injuries, but also to make sure we can play at our highest potential. The same is true when confronting change. Our mindsets and behaviors need to stretch. We need to warm up, become flexible to be at our best.

I didn’t tear my tendon because of bad luck. I simply wasn’t prepared to play a match of tennis against a much better opponent or to absorb the repetitive impacts against the hard surface of the court.

Change hurts. But it hurts less if you are prepared to deal with it.

That’s the purpose of this book. To help you become change-fit.

Our Strange Relationship with Change

Unfortunately for many of us, change can be threatening. Fear causes a chain reaction in our brain that starts with a stressful stimulus: a fight or flight mechanism.² But with the right mindset, it can also be a tremendous source of inspiration. This book will help you stop fighting change and embrace it as a natural force.

The following situations are clear evidence that our relationship with change is paradoxical.

- Most people admire changemakers, yet they have a hard time changing themselves.

- Organizations acknowledge that change is an imperative, yet they don’t prepare their teams to become more adaptive.

- When a problem really matters, change feels more exciting, yet we waste a lot of our time on tiny things.

- Trying to find the balance between our personal and professional lives, we lose balance.

Remove the tension. Reignite the passion of living in every aspect of your life. I will help you rethink Creativity, Productivity and Achievement not as goals but as the fuel to build both passion and endurance.

I learned a lot about the importance of stretching while recovering from my Achilles injury—and about the importance of moving beyond the comfort zone, both in my own life and in helping others achieve their goals.

There’s one clear lesson: adaptability can become a competitive advantage—professionally and personally.

And that requires both preparation and courage to stretch beyond your comfort zone.

Are you ready to live a richer life?

Stretch for Change: The Model

The model is called Stretch for Change.³ Because when you stretch your mind, you stretch the world around you.

The approach is a continual progression, with the graph above demonstrating the key effect of each phase.

The more you practice, like a virtuous cycle, the more you will master your adaptability.

Following the model’s approach, the book is divided into three sections.

A. Part I focuses on rewiring our relationship with change and how to become more open to it.

Your mindset is the lens through which you see reality. If you are not using the right one, it can distort your vision.

You’ll learn to see change through a different pair of lenses, to let go of behaviors that limit your true potential. Becoming more open to change is the foundation of my model. I will help you move from feeling stuck to being more open to change.

B. Part II is designed to help you create change by applying a method to solve problems that really matter.

Organizations waste a lot of time and effort trying to solve the wrong problem, which unfortunately leads to disengagement at work.

Focus on solving only problems that really matter. Applying the principles of Human-Centered Design, you will learn to discover solutions that will benefit your organization and your team, as well the broader society.

C. Part III will prepare you to become change-fit, to boost your ability to lead change in both your personal and professional lives.

To guide a team or an organization through change requires a different mindset, too. Regardless of your role or title, you can become a change leader.

You can lead your own life or help others—whether they are individuals or teams—reach their true potential (or, ideally, you can do both). Learn how to build teams with Multiple Perspectives, not just different skills. To deal with and leverage resistance and constraints. To apply the right method to accelerate and scale innovation. And, most importantly, to help your organization flourish from change.

This Is More Than a Book

This book can be read from beginning to end in chapter order. But you can also navigate your own way based on your personal needs—as with your own life, the choice is up to you.

Change is a collective experience. On the book website, you’ll have access to more than models and exercises: you’ll be part of a community of changemakers, just like you. This book is a springboard to provoke a dialogue and collaboration among everyone brave enough to stretch beyond their comfort zones. Go to http://StretchForChange.com to meet other changemakers, learn from their experiences, discover new exercises and tools, and share your own journey.

Theory and practice reinforce and modify each other. I’ve been developing the concepts and exercises through decades of direct practice, observation and research. I’ve included examples and exercises to show how my framework can be applied to the real world. Experiment as you wish.

Quick Stretches: You can practice these simple exercises right away. Not only will they help you get the concepts but they also demonstrate how small changes lead to bigger behavioral changes.

Stretch Exercises: These are meant to challenge existing mindsets and drive new behaviors in both your personal and professional lives. Some require advanced coaching to take full advantage; here you’ll get a simplified version to help you get started.

Online Community: Remember to register at http://StretchForChange.com/community to join changemakers like you and learn from others. Joining forces with other change leaders makes a hell of a difference.

Enjoy the ride. Let the journey begin.

Section I

Mindset Stretch

How to Develop a Change Mindset

Chapter 1

UNSTUCK — Shake Up Your Current Mindset!

Our mindset is the lens through which we perceive reality. When we feel stuck, everything around us appears to be stuck, too. As a result, we discern fewer (or no) options and we feel out of control. Negative emotions soon overwhelm us, we become increasingly frustrated, and consequently we disengage. That’s when apathy and fear consume our lives, and we become immobilized in this vicious cycle. The question is, how can we get out of it and regain control of our actions?

Moving Beyond Apathy and Fear

To embrace a new mindset, first we need to let go of older ones. Toxic behaviors need to be purged; our brains and predispositions toward achieving goals need to be rewired and reset. And that includes, fundamentally, letting go of two of the most harmful emotions: apathy and fear.

For a Changemaker, Everything Is His Job

I’ve always hated job descriptions. I believe that our role as leaders is to inspire those around us to be purpose-driven, rather than to provide a list of tasks they need to complete. Unfortunately, many organizations continue this tradition of prescribing job descriptions for their employees. What they fail to realize is that in their pursuit of standardized clarity, most of the time they end up limiting their biggest asset: their human capital.

I remember once, at a previous job, I observed a small leak in the bathroom, which resulted in water slowly accumulating on the ceramic floor. Considering that the chances of significant damage were small, I decided to say nothing. I ran an experiment instead: I simply waited to see how long it would take for someone to report the leak. After two hours or so, when the water started running out of the bathroom and onto the carpet, I finally notified our floor assistant. Surprisingly enough, no one had told her about the incident. She immediately called the building maintenance that promptly took care of the leak.

Why am I sharing this story? Because it reveals a good lesson. Within those two hours, at least 20 to 30 employees must have noticed what I saw, yet no one notified the floor assistant so that she could remedy it. Why? Well, unless they were all running the same experiment that I was, they simply didn’t care. Or, to put it more accurately, they thought that it wasn’t their job—reporting a leak in the men’s room fell beyond their established responsibility.

Most people live within a Stuck Mindset without realizing it. As demonstrated in this anecdote, they often observe leaks or other problems, and, at best, register that something has gone wrong. But very few actually do something about it. This illuminates the difference between being a passive observer and a changemaker. While regular folks normally complain about what’s not working, changemakers jump into action. They don’t expect the mythological someone else to solve things for them; they take ownership and make the change happen—especially when things are beyond their established job descriptions. When you fully embrace a Change Mindset, you cease being apathetic. If something needs to be fixed, you jump into action.

Stop Saying That’s Not My Job

Take, for example, these two very different experiences I had on the Stanford University campus. After a three-month innovation program, on my last day, I made my way to the place that meant the most to me: Coupa, the best coffee shop on campus. At first, I thought I was craving a sip of espresso. As I got closer, however, I realized I was looking for something else: I wanted to express my gratitude to one of their staff members. This woman, a barista, is a great example of working with purpose. Every time I visited Coupa, whether for lunch or an espresso, she was very much aware of who I was. Not only did she remember my name, but she also understood the kind of experience I was looking for, when and how I wanted to enjoy my espresso. At one point, the building right in front of the café was being demolished. It was so dusty that they were only offering service to go. By then, she had realized how much I enjoyed coffee in a ceramic cup. (Hey, it’s my Italian genes.) She went above and beyond her role to make it happen, without me even requesting it. She expressed surprise when I gave her a nice tip on that last day, yet deep down, she recognized what it meant.

The second story is quite a bit different. The previous night, a couple of colleagues and I were enjoying some delicious food and wine at a fancy restaurant in Palo Alto. We were sitting at the bar and asked the bartender—several times—for some water. He was probably too busy; in any case, the truth is that the water never came. After waiting for a while, and with the bartender gone, we asked a waiter, who was right in front of us filling a couple of jugs with water, for help. His response was all-too clear: Sorry, that’s not my job. Ask your waiter. And he left. We were still thirsty, and now also disappointed.

These two stories are clear examples of starkly opposite mindsets: the Change versus the Stuck one. You can’t blame the employees—their behaviors reflect the way they were trained. Ask yourself: What kind of behaviors are you developing within your team? Are you inspiring them to pursue a bigger purpose? Or are you simply telling them what they should (and should not) do? Think about it. As for me, I definitely don’t want to hear: Sorry, that’s not my job.

Taming the Beast of Fear

We all feel pain and have a learned apprehension of it. We experience fear on a regular basis—sometimes more consciously than others—and that’s OK. That’s part of being human and being alive.

We are afraid of making mistakes, of being rejected, and, most importantly, losing those we love; that’s all part and parcel of our human nature. Fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus—the fear of what we don’t know.¹ The critical question is, how do we deal with that reality?

Think of fear as a dangerous beast, whether you first visualized it like that or not. Every time you come face to face with fear, your mind tells you to either panic and become agitated in preparation for a battle or to run away. That fight or flight mode is your body’s primitive and automatic response to a perceived attack or threat. And that’s OK. But you have to learn to tame it or fear could take over your life.

If you panic and get caught up with fear, you become the prey. If you get stuck, overwhelmed by your emotions, you lose your ability to act with agency. After something bad happens, many people feel so sad that they become stuck. But there’s a huge difference between feeling hurt