Avenue of the Americas: Three One-Act Comedies
By Martin Blank
()
About this ebook
Avenue of the Americas 2W 3M | Comedy | 50 minutes - A woman on the lam from a New Jersey mental institution becomes the queen of Madison Avenue as her ad campaigns are wildly popular. Still, her commercials wreak havoc with her boss, the Catholic Church, and certain cat owners. Avenue of the Americas is a dark, comic ride that asks: how far would you go to have it all? Driving Green 1W 1M | Comedy | 10 minutes - A politically opposite married couple tries to survive going green and a morning commute. Read My Lips 5W 2M | Comedy | 30 minutes - A play with dance in which a young man comes to terms with the loss of the grandmother that raised him. These three plays can be performed individually or together for a full evening of theatre.
Martin Blank
Martin Blank (playwright) is the author of ten plays, the most recent of which, the full-length spy thriller "The Law of Return," was produced Off-Broadway at the Fourth Street Theater. He has served as Artistic Associate for the American Place Theatre, New York City, as well as Literary Manager, Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company, and Founding Artistic Director, Theater J. He attended the University of Maryland and the Yale School of Drama. More at: MartinBlankAuthor.com
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Avenue of the Americas - Martin Blank
Avenue of the Americas
A Comedy in One Act
by Martin Blank
AVENUE OF THE AMERICAS
Copyright © 2011, Martin Blank
AVENUE OF THE AMERICAS was produced off-Broadway by Cantwell/Newsom Productions at the Tank Theater, premiering there on January 21, 2011. It was produced by Kristin Cantwell and Phil Newsome and directed by Katherine M. Carter. Lighting design was by Dan Jobbins, set design by Julia Noulin-Mérat, and sound design by Jillian Marie Walker. The stage manager was Griffin Parker.
The cast was as follows:
CHARACTERS:
KATIE, a woman in her late twenties or early thirties
JAY, a man in his forties
PHIL, a man in his late thirties
THE MEN, a man in his thirties
THE WOMEN, a woman in her thirties
TIME: A little while ago
SETTING: New Jersey and New York
For my mother, Martha E. Jacobson
Lights up on Saint Mary’s, a mental institution somewhere in New Jersey. Sitting in front of us is the single most beautiful girl in the world. Her name, Katie White, late twenties or early thirties, blonde, in sweater, skirt, and diamond earrings. She stares at a television. The flickering illumination lights her face. Drawings for storyboards of advertisements litter the floor. A moment, then she presses a remote. It sounds like we’re in the middle of a soap. Organ music under offstage dialogue:
WOMAN (VOICE)
I didn’t know that Bob had a twin!
MAN (VOICE)
It’s true. Bob is dead. I’m the new Bob.
WOMAN
Your parents named you both Bob?
MAN
Yes. I mean no. I’m Frank, but I’m your new Bob.
WOMAN
I—I don’t care, Bob-Frank. I love you anyway!
MAN
Erica, there’s something very important I have to tell you.
WOMAN
Yes?
MAN
I just switched to GEICO and saved fifteen percent on car insurance!
(Katie presses mute
as an attendant enters.)
KATIE
Know what’s wrong with that ad?
ATTENDANT (GUS)
No.
KATIE
They only mentioned the product once.
GUS
Wouldn’t know. Brought your Ad Age.
(Katie takes magazine. Kisses Gus on the cheek.)
Don’t do that! Someone gonna see. Both be inna whole lotta trouble.
(Katie speed-reads.)
GUS
Katie, I know you don’t mean nothing. Everyone knows Gus is a good Christian.
KATIE
Tonight on CBN, watch The 700 Club.
GUS
There’s something important we got to talk about. Dr. Weinstein is dead.
KATIE
You told me.
GUS
So you gonna have a new doctor. Dr. Meyers. She might put you back in Wing B. I’m not allowed in B. This time might not be Wing B. This time, could be C.
(Katie puts down magazine.)
In C you in a room where you all alone. Just padding. No windows. Nothing. Sometimes they take you to another room and they shock you.
KATIE
Do they have TV?
GUS
No! No TV.
KATIE
No commercials?
GUS
No magazines. No nothing. Just terrible, horrible pain.
KATIE
Sounds like public TV.
(Katie goes back to reading.)
GUS (grabbing her magazine)
Meyers used to run C. No art supplies in C! You don’t get to write no commercials.
KATIE
But I have an agency to run.
GUS
You