Opening Closed Doors

Contents

Louise

Harold

Kellie

Ben

Alex

During the past 35 years of marriage to Harold James Fisher, his hairline has gotten thinner, midsection softened, and eyesight diminished, but he’s just as suave as when I said ‘I do’ that January morning. Harry and I met in a 10th grade biology class at Booker T. Washington when he chased me with a dead frog. After class, he offered to carry my books for the remainder of the term, but he actually made up for that awful experience on Valentine’s Day by giving me a copy of Nikki Giovanni’s poetry.

Only four months separated our age, but we were on opposite ends of a family. I was the oldest of my siblings, Helen and Walter; however, Harry was the youngest of his brother and sister, Josephine and Daniel. Harry was quite creative when it came to our time. On our first date, he grabbed his Mom’s fried chicken, potato salad, baked beans and banana pudding and we sat in the park under a tall tree and planned our futures while we ate and watched people pass by. On the weekends, we went to the movies, football games or church functions often chaperoned by one of our siblings, but I still had fun.

Being with Harry felt natural even among hundreds of signs saying ‘Whites Only’ or ‘Coloreds Enter Here.’ Harry possessed a quiet strength that drew me into him particularly when he talked about his studies. He was a history major who, back then, could mentally catalog all of the events said to have inspired the greatest writings of Booker T. Washington, W.E.B. Dubois, James Weldon Johnson, Paul Dunbar and Marcus Garvey, but he read some poetry as well. We talked about Langston Hughes, Nikki Giovanni, Gwendolyn Brooks, and Melvin Tolson, and discussed the impact of writers such as Richard Wright, Ralph Ellison, and James Baldwin. At times, we disagreed, but we didn’t become disagreeable.

Our bond strengthened when I confided in him about my parents’ bickering. My parents divorced during my senior year when I went off to Prairie View A&M University ending five years of misery, but they remained a firm part of our lives. Harry proposed to me the night before our college graduation under the same tree where we had our first date.

Harry and I got married in a simple, but beautiful wedding in his parents’ backyard at the age of 21. His father, Jeremiah built the archway that we stood under surrounded by our closest family and dearest friends. Harry was dressed in a dark navy suit with a striped pale blue tie and I wore a sleeveless white taffeta dress. We moved near our best friends, Dee and Ralph Simon in Macgregor Place after I was hired at Children’s Protective Services while Harry taught at Madison High School. When I discovered I was pregnant, Harry returned to Prairie View to get a Masters degree in education, and we moved to northwest Houston for a better teaching job offer. We’ve lived in a beautiful brown brick house with four bedrooms and three and a half bathrooms with our twins, Alex and Ben.

Customarily, we celebrated our anniversary at Vic and Anthony’s Steakhouse in downtown Houston. This year, Ben invited us to watch him accept an award from the National Association of Black Journalists, so my twins’ weekend visit from New York was the best gift I could have ever received. I’ve not seen them since they came to my retirement party five years ago. Alex, the oldest, finished from Columbia University in 2004 with a Masters degree in fine arts, and has written three bestsellers in the past six years. Ben graduated from Morehouse with a journalism degree and has had articles published in Houston Chronicle, Time, Ebony and several other publications.

Getting dressed for the special event proved challenging. Squeezing my size 16 butt into that Spanx and my feet into those shoes felt like sheer torture, but women tolerated almost any aggravation to look good. Harry buttoned his vest, fastened his cuff links and adjusted his bow tie. He placed a black wooly shawl around my shoulders because it seemed unusually chilly for Houston. Ben sped down Hwy. 290 like he’d entered the Indy 500 arriving a few minutes past 6:30. Once inside the Marriott, the wrinkles fell from my long, black shimmering gown as Harry buttoned his jacket. Wherever we go, the Fishers always looked good.

Ben led us to a darkened ballroom, and told us to wait until he returned. Then, the lights came on and everyone shouted Surprise!

My parents, Frank and Dorothy Collins greeted us first.

Mom hugged us and said, Happy Anniversary!

Did you plan this? I asked.

Our grandchildren did. Ben looked like the cat that swallowed the canary.

How did you manage all of this from New York? Harold asked.

We had a few helpers. Ben said.

Black and silver balloons covered the ceiling of the ballroom where the number 35 dangled from each corner. A disco ball twirled in the center of the room reflecting light like Soul Train. My brother, Walter and his wife, Jessica were talking to the disc jockey set in the farthest corner while Helen planted herself near the bar. Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan remained her good friends especially after her third divorce. My in-laws, Michael and Josephine Baker joined us at the table designated for the original bridal party.

Harry got me a glass of fruit punch when Alex crept behind me and placed a kiss on my cheek.

Happy Anniversary, Mom! I stood to kiss and hug her.

Alex and Ben’s style of dress always reflected their individual taste. Ben always dressed as if he’d stepped from the pages of a men’s fashion magazine while Alex wore androgynous attire. They stood side by side wearing diamond stud earrings. Alex had my thick hair, long eyelashes and clef chin while Ben favored Harry wearing a thin goatee. Both inherited their father’s hazel eyes, long legs and round ears. Ben had on a black tuxedo with a black and silver striped vest, and Alex wore a black turtleneck sweater, slacks, high-heel boots and a black fedora with a silver band. Her make-up looked almost better than mine.

The DJ played our song, Al Green’s For the Good Times. Harry slid over to me unbuttoning his jacket. Come on, Lou; cut a rug with your husband.

I held that man like he was the last lifejacket on a sinking ship, and we swayed to that tune. His Cool Water cologne made me weak in the knees and it felt like the Senior Prom 1970 all over again. Then, our children interrupted our private moment.

Our parents still love each other after all these years. Ben said drinking punch.

I squeezed them with all the strength I had. Although I had worked 30 years, my most rewarding role was their mother. I seldom had days off and I never received a bonus check, but I shared their success. We sat down at an empty table nearby to catch up on their lives.

When are you two going to settle down? I asked.

Alex said, We both have nice girlfriends who are nurses.

What are their names? Harold asked scratching the back of his head.

Ben said, Krystal is my girlfriend, and Kellie is with Alex.

Helen stumbled over holding a glass of something clear, but it wasn’t water. Look at this happy, little family!

Put down that drink. I said.

She took another swallow and pulled on her jacket. I can’t enjoy myself.

Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink? Harold asked and wiped his glasses with a handkerchief.

"You’re not my husband!"

I’m trying to be a friend. Harold said stroking his beard.

Ben said, All siblings don’t fight, Aunt Helen.

Helen pointed at Alex and Ben and said, Nice to know you guys get along.

Then, she strolled off clutching her liquor.

My apology couldn’t appease the hurt on Alex’s face as she slinked from the table with Ben. I felt terrible about what Helen had said, but Alex’s sexuality hadn’t maimed her. It caused her to view women differently, but my daughter’s health and happiness was my only concern. After Alex’s announcement, I was disappointed; however, I wasn’t going to shut my child out of my life. Unfortunately, mothers couldn’t wrap barriers around their children to protect them from the world’s cruelty. Alex was a grown woman, and cradling her in my arms wouldn’t stop the pain, but it could make me feel much better. Besides, God designed each of us for a specific purpose, and the only thing we could do was pray and follow his will.

Surrounded by family and friends, I longed to see the graceful presence of Ruth Fisher, my mother-in-law who always had a pleasant smile and offered a kind word and gesture. She’d already gone to glory some years ago which probably explained Big Daddy’s absence; he seemed to have withdrawn from many family events after her death. I also didn’t see my cousins, Troy, Derick and Bridget; they drifted away from the family after Troy left Patrice and the kids. My family was being torn apart by distance, death and divorce. God’s gift of love and marriage had become a casualty.

Many people exploited marriage when it should be revered as the union of man and woman willing to share their lives in a covenant with God. Others, like my niece, Niki saw it as the means of snagging a wealthy man. Jealousy, selfishness, accounting of wrongs, a controlling nature, or other insecurities can sabotage a marriage initiated under the purest of reasons. It did greater damage to a marriage founded under the wrong reasons like Helen and three of her ex-husbands who inflicted the worst kind of damage to marriage by marrying for the sole purpose of avoiding fornication. Nothing destroyed a marriage faster than using it to forward a personal agenda like Patrice and Troy. She married him to get help raising her son, Derick and Bridget, their daughter, got caught up in the aftershocks of their disastrous union. Still, marriage was created for those who remember the purpose for which it was originally designed. Although homosexuals can’t legally marry in certain states, I didn’t believe that love should be denied to them.

The party seemed to be swinging into full gear as the DJ coaxed guests from their seats with the Cha-Cha slide. My parents appeared to be getting along well despite their divorce after 20 years of marriage. My rhythmically challenged brother, Walter stomped all over Jessica’s feet while he attempted a salsa step and Michael and Josephine were behaving like newlyweds. Surprisingly, Alex and Ben joined the rest of the family and friends on the dance floor.

Alex and Ben came back to the table with my parents after the song ended.

We still got it. Mom said plopping in a seat.

Dad sat down next to her and said, Yeah, it just moves slower.

I wish Bridget was here with us. I said.

Mom asked, Why would she be here after what she did?

Bridget is still a part of the family like Helen.

If she had her way, you wouldn’t have this celebration. Dad said.

Alex asked, What did Cousin Bridget do, Mom?

It’s not important.

Ben should’ve been a comedian because he bounced up from his seat mimicking me by pointing his finger with his hand on his hip. If anything affects one family member, everyone must deal with it.

I shook my head, This isn’t the right time or place.

Mom took a handkerchief out of her evening purse while Dad removed a hand towel from his pocket to wipe his face and said, Talk to them.

I caught Bridget in a compromising position with Harry.

What kind of compromising position was she in? Alex asked.

Bridget got into our bed naked while you were taking a nap. Harry said.

Ben bounced up again when Alex pulled his hand to sit him down. We were in the house!

What did you do, Dad? Alex asked.

I told her to get dressed and get the hell out of my house. When I turned around, I saw your mother.

Harry clasped my hand and kissed it. I never had any reason to doubt his fidelity.

Mom said, Every family has its bad apples.

I agree with my wife. Dad said.

I’m your ex-wife, remember. Mom said patting his lap. How many times do I have to tell you?

What do you mean by that? Ben asked and leaned forward.

Dad rubbed the back of his bald head. My nephew, Troy didn’t do the best job of raising his son.

And Junior followed his father’s footsteps. Mom said.

Tommy and Teresa tried to raise them, but Bridget and Derick were a handful; besides, they had their own families to support. Dad said.

Junior would’ve been a better father by walking away like Leon. Harry said.

You don’t treat family like that. Ben said.

I said, They’ve never known how to be a part of real family.

What do you think happened to them? Mom asked.

Who knows? Dad said.

Alex had slipped into one of her introspective moods and I had almost forgotten she was sitting at the table until the wait staff asked her if they could begin serving dinner. Alex paid for most of the party because she’s always had a generous heart, but I hoped Kellie was not taking advantage of her.

Walter blessed the meal after everything was ready. He can’t dance to save his life, but he can shake the walls with prayer. As children, Helen refereed arguments between Walter and me about who was going to be the preacher when the three of us played church. Helen convinced me to let him be the pastor because he was the youngest and he had to be the loser in our card game. Even then, he acted like an old pro with a handkerchief sticking out of his bathrobe to wipe the sweat from his brow while Helen pretended to fall out praising the Lord and I cared for her as the usher. By the time he got to high school, he joined the young men’s ministry. Later, Pastor Wright began grooming him to become a deacon.

The wait staff served us a delicious grilled chicken breast accompanied by au gratin potatoes and steamed vegetables with a variety of baked rolls. The bread should have stayed in the basket since my belly had already put a serious strain on the Spanx, but I couldn’t resist the buttery aroma. Then, my brother-in-law, Daniel stood up to propose a toast.

Here’s to the magic of Louise, Harold and their unbreakable bond. Let it burn brightly for 35 more years. He raised his champagne glass and we gave him a hug as everyone applauded; then, he did the unthinkable. Daniel held me on his right side and Harry on his left. I remember the time Louise tried to do a backward flip and landed flat on her butt.

The family laughed at my less than perfect moment. The high-flying acrobatic stunts gymnasts and figure skaters performed amazed me so I tried to do a flip at Harry’s house, but I didn’t think I had an audience until he came into the backyard laughing. However I wasn’t alone in my embarrassment.

Harry, remember when you tried to cut your mustache thin like Billy Dee Williams and you shaved it half off. At first, Harry glared at him; then, he erupted into laughter himself and raised a fist to his elder brother giving him a fake punch in the stomach.

Ralph and Dee told us about Ryan, their last grandchild’s accomplishment of taking his first steps. Harry said he would retire when he had grandkids, but there’s no telling when Alex and Ben would start a family of their own since they made work the focus of their lives especially Alex who never seems to stop working. Harry and I survived 35 years of life’s storms together with love and laughter, and I wished my children all the happiness their hearts could hold. I also wanted to get some grandbabies and they weren’t making it easy.

My drinks ran through me so I hurried into the ladies’ room and used the first stall. Helen’s voice rose above the sound of running water.

Alex thinks she’s all that strolling in here! She’s a dirty dyke!

Someone with an unfamiliar voice responded, There’s a special place in hell for those people. Then the water stopped.

She needs to go back to New York.

I say Amen to that! The door swung open and closed seconds later.

I felt like I’d swallowed a razor blade that split my heart into two pieces. How could my own sister say such things about my child? Helen’s verbal abuse severed the strand of hope I had for us to mend our broken relationship, but I was not going to allow this heifer to ruin this for me. I wiped away the tears and pulled myself together because my children planned a wonderful party for Harry and me and I was going to enjoy myself. I’ll deal with Helen later.

The staff served a vanilla cake with cream cheese icing that tasted delicious. Harry and I worked it off on the dance floor along with our family and closest friends. Thankfully, Helen was not spotted among the crowd. We took pictures and caught up with old friends. The DJ played R. Kelly’s Happy People for the final dance and everyone crowded the floor. Alex and Ben drove us home and spent the night at a friend’s house while Harry and I recreated our wedding night.

The following day, I cooked breakfast for my family and I was ready to spend some time with my children, but Harry stole them and headed to that broken down rusty gray Monte Carlo he’s been working on since Alex and Ben were kids. I loaded the dishwasher, and sat down with a copy of Maya Angelou’s Heart of a Woman in the den when the doorbell rang. It was Helen. I wondered what she wanted after the way she behaved last night. How could she betray me?

Can I come in? She looked at the floor as she stepped inside and took a seat on the living room sofa. Anthony is coming home from Afghanistan in June and I want to know if you’d help me plan a party for him. She asked putting her purse down.

I love my nephew and I’ll do whatever I can to welcome him home from the war. I sat next to her. I’d never bad mouth him like you did. She turned to me bewildered removing hair from her face.

Oh, I’m sorry if I hurt Alex’s little feelings.

I’m talking about what you said behind her back!

You must be drunk! She rose quickly propping her hand on her oversized hips.

I mirrored her look and said, No, I’m looking at one! It’s one thing to disapprove of Alex’s lifestyle, but name calling is petty!

I came over here to invite you to a party and you act simple!

You shouldn’t gossip in public because you never know who could hear you. Then, Helen shifted her eyes to the right trying to remember what she said. I continued, Alex might be gay, but at least I have a good relationship with my children!

Helen rotated her neck so fast that it looked like it was going to fall off. So, you ‘gon tell me how to live my life since you have the perfect family!

No, I don’t have a perfect family, but I don’t talk behind people’s backs!

Harry ran into the living room. What’s going on?

Here comes Harry the Hero! She headed to the front door and paused. Forget about the party! I don’t need you! Then, she slammed the door.

She makes me so mad! Harry held and rocked me as I cried.

Hey Dad, the engine almost turned over. What’s wrong Mama? Ben asked.

What happened? Alex asked trailing behind.

I reached out to hug her despite the greasy face and oil-stained coveralls. She embraced me as if it was the last time we’d seen each other. For the first time since Alex told us she was gay, I truly understood the pain she must’ve bottled up all her life. You don’t expect your family to lead the bandwagon in some moral persecution, but that seemed to be the case with Helen. Ben felt the pain as well because he hugged me in the same merciful manner he did as a child when he didn’t want a spanking.

Your mother and Aunt Helen had a fight. Alex and Ben escorted me back to the sofa and they were about to sit down.

Take off those coveralls first. I can get the grease off my clothes, but this couch is a different story. Harry also removed his coveralls, tossed them on the back porch and took a seat next to me on the sofa.

What did you two fight about? Ben asked and I caressed his left cheek.

I’m finished with Helen. Harry handed me the Kleenex box from the den.

Come on Mama, that’s not what you taught Alex and me.

You fought about me. Listen, if it’s going to cause a strain, I’ll go back to New York. She started to get up, but I stopped her.

Baby, this is your home and you are always welcome. I kissed her cheek. You know what’ll make me happy?

Ben slid to one knee. Say it and it’s done.

Fisher Family Friday, you can tell me about these women you two are seeing.

Ben snapped his fingers. I knew there was a catch.

Fisher Family Friday has been a tradition since the kids were in middle school. On Friday evenings, we chose one or two board games or watched movies all night and indulged in our favorite foods: chili hot dogs, Chinese, pizza, or cheeseburgers, fries and malts. I selected Monopoly because I got tired of Harry winning and I vowed to get revenge. I grabbed the horse while Ben and Harry fought over the car, and Alex picked the thimble. Ben flipped a coin to decide who got the car and he won, so Harry used the dog token while I handed out the money at the dining table. Alex rolled the dice first and moved her thimble.

Krystal Taylor is a school nurse at Monroe Middle School. Ben said.

Alex said, Her best friend, Kellie Campbell works at Highland Hospital.

When did you meet them? Harry asked.

Ben looked over at Alex, rolled the dice and pushed his car making sound effects.

We met them when my friend got sick and went to the hospital. Alex said.

You picked up women on their jobs. Harry said.

Krystal recognized Alex from the cover of her book and asked for an autograph.

Mom and Dad, there’s something you should know.

Harry hesitated tossing the dice. What Alex?

We live together. Harry dropped the dice on the floor.

We know you told us that marriage comes first, but I think Krystal is the one.

So you’re living with Krystal too. I said, picked up the dice, rolled them and galloped toward Community Chest.

Harry asked, Are the four of you living under the same roof?

We live in a two bedroom, two bath apartment. Ben said.

There’s plenty of room. Alex said taking her turn.

What do they look like? Harry asked.

Ben tossed the dice, drove his car to the next spot, reached into his wallet and pulled a 3x5 photo of a light-skinned woman with gray eyes, deep dimples, and shoulder-length hair.

How old is she? I passed the photo to Harry.

She’s 29; her birthday is May 1st. Ben said.

Wait a minute! I haven’t rolled yet. Harry said.

Alex sprinted up the stairs and Harry fussed about missing his turn; then, Alex returned with a framed 5x7 photo of Kellie. He looked at both pictures for longer than she should.

They could be models. He said. Kellie had a caramel complexion, dark brown eyes, high cheek bones and shoulder-length wavy hair. Kellie enjoyed reading, sketching and writing poetry. Alex said. Her father is Black; her mother is Italian.

You’ve always liked Italian food; now you’ve got an authentic chef. Harry said and returned the frame.

Kellie’s also 29; her birthday is March 10th. Alex said.

One water, one earth, they should keep you Capricorns balanced.

Are you bringing them to the family reunion this May? I asked.

We’d better if we want to live in peace. Ben said.

The family hasn’t seen each other since 2004 B.B. Alex and Ben looked puzzled then, Harry and I said, Before Barack. We all laughed.

Alex’s smile was a beautiful sight because it didn’t happen too often. If I had to describe my children, I would say that Ben was my happy-go-lucky kid, but Alex was a serious child. While Ben played sports and participated in the student council, Alex played the trumpet in the school band and joined the French club. Although they had distinct personalities, they have had a strong bond since birth. Just yesterday, we brought them home from St. Joseph’s Hospital wrapped in soft, white blankets. They fussed until we put both of them in the same crib even though we bought two. Now, they’re in love.

I really missed the sound of their laughter. While they were home, this place was noisy because they were always involved with some group. When they weren’t attending meetings or at practice, Harry had them under the hood of that antique in the shed, shooting in the country or on fishing trips with Big Daddy. Now, the only thing that’s loud was Harry’s plaid golf pants.

I asked, Does Kellie want a family?

Well, you didn’t waste any time. Alex said.

When have I ever beaten around the bush? Harry grabbed the dice before I did.

Yes, she does want kids, but we are taking our time.

How much time can you take if you’re already living with her?

Mom, you’ve got a good point. Alex said.

I was delving into my investigation when the phone rang. Just as I answered, Alex and Ben answered their cell phones and seconds later, their chairs were still spinning. No one said a word on the phone, but I heard breathing, so I hung up. Harry eased up on me like a lion to slow-moving prey.

Don’t give Ben and Alex such grief about living together. Remember Apt. 502. He said and kissed my neck.

That was temporary. I said.

But you still loved it.

We were engaged.

We weren’t married yet. Then, he planted a wet one on my lips and nibbled on my neck.

I did the same thing when we were dating.

That was rude. I responded.

My time with my lady is special. Men understand that. He strolled into the living room and thumbed through a copy of Sports Illustrated sitting on the table.

I sensed he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. Men often opened the door to comparing the sexes, and they stuck their foot in their mouths. When it came to the Battle of the Sexes, men lose, hands down, and Harry had learned not to cross that line with me.

Alex flew down the stairs and Ben slid along the banister to the dining room smiling harder than a hyena. What are you up to? I asked.

Ben picked up the dice. Is it my time now?

I snatched the dice. You’re not getting off that easy.

Harry dropped his magazine on the edge of the table. What happened to y’all?

Like thieves who had been arrested with stolen goods in hand, Alex and Ben said nothing, but their grins said it all. They seemed to be happy, but children didn’t always tell their parents what’s happening in their lives especially when it came to relationships. Alex didn’t come out of the closet until she went off to college, and I kept Harry a secret until Helen blurted it to Mom and Dad.

I ordered a large meat lover’s pizza, and Alex and Ben fought over the first slice. They used to fight like cats and dogs when they were kids. This argument reminded me of the time I caught them fighting in the house when they were about eight years old. Alex had Ben in a headlock, and they had trashed the living room. I lectured them on respect and sibling rivalry; then, I wore their butts out with my belt and made them clean up the mess.

My family swallowed the pizza, and continued driving, galloping, hopping and running around the Monopoly board buying real estate. Alex purchased Boardwalk and Park Place and cleaned us all out like Donald Trump. Ben tried hanging in the game with hotels on St. Charles Place and Marvin Gardens, but Alex had already bankrupted Harry and me. She earned $10,550 when the game was over which was chump change compared to her real earnings as an author.

After the game was over, everyone picked a favorite film to watch in the den. Harry was addicted to comedies, so he selected Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail while Ben, the action junkie, chose Vantage Point, and I grabbed Dreamgirls because Jennifer Hudson’s singing voice reminded me of Billie Holliday. On the other hand, Alex gravitated to deeper films like The Secret Life of Bees. During the marathon, we drank malts Harry made. My family was reunited under one roof and I couldn’t have been happier.

When the end credits rolled on Dreamgirls, I was the only one awake. Harry played his nasal concert, and he hired Alex and Ben as backup. They had fallen asleep head to head on the sectional sofa the same way they did in their crib. Ben moved his mouth like an old man with loose dentures, and Alex’s mouth was slightly open and her right arm was propped under her chin while the left arm lay against the wall. I woke them because their days of being carried to bed were long over, and they stumbled to their rooms upstairs past their high school and our wedding portraits.

I put on my flannel nightgown in the bathroom while Harry put on his striped blue pajamas and set the alarm.

I should check on the kids. I started climbing out of bed.

Harry climbed into bed saying,