You Shall Not Have Peace

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

This book is dedicated to my departed loved ones

Chapter One

A sudden gust of wind blew past and everybody looked up and turned in every direction. Many looked at the sky and began to zip up their coats. Some others were now tying their flapping and loose neck scarves to avoid the sudden cold draft round their necks. Jennifer Jackson shivered a little. She readjusted herself behind the fresh mound of upturned earth. James Jackson looked at her and before he made any further movement Jennifer placed her head on his right shoulder. Save for the parallel trickles of tears that now flowed along her cheeks one would have been at a loss figuring the emotional state she was in at this moment. The dark sunglasses round her eyes looked like a stonewall that kept away prying eyes from her apparent non-emotional facial expression. She suddenly raised her head off James’ shoulder and looked curiously at the marble stone slab near her. She noticed the Gothic style inscription on it. She began to read it. ‘In Living Memory of our beloved…’. She read the remaining piece and her eyes opened wide when she noticed the date that was like a screaming appendage to an obviously melancholy event at the time it happened. ‘1894’, she said within her breath.

She now wondered about the seeming eternity and the speed with which time moved. She could not bring herself into believing that the reliving of an event, though by another set of actors, was about to happen at this very moment, almost a hundred years later. A sudden noise overhead interrupted her surmising. She looked up sharply and noticed a big black raven flapping its wings and then perching on one of the tree branches overhead. The weight of landing by this creature made this moderate-sized branch to sway up and down for a moment and then come to rest. The bird, looking every inch a sentinel, began to look with its characteristic avian nature at the gathering of humans below it. The darting and flaming eyeballs made Jennifer to conclude that this creature could be wondering why the same set of actors was in this forlorn place again! ‘O, not again!’ Jennifer felt the bird would be saying.

The movement around her made her to come back to commune with members of the human race that were gathered around. The pastor’s movement caught her attention and she was again whisked back to the reality facing her. The reverend gentleman adjusted his clerical attire and looked around him without saying a word. This was just enough to make the people realize that the ceremony was about to begin. The two acolytes drew nearer to the reverend gentleman. One of them handed an already burning censor to the reverend gentleman. The latter looked at the burning censor for a while. He stared at the issuing spirals of incense-charged white smoke as these contrasted sharply with the sudden sullen environment and the dark gloom that was on everybody’s face. These white smokes looked briefly like white pearls that suddenly diffused into the environment sending the smell of incense in their wake. The pastor squinted briefly and his mind flashed back to the biblical white smoke that issued from Abel’s sacrifice.

He began to walk round the dugout pit that would soon become a resting place for another fallen member of his church community. He incensed round it as he walked. The sympathizers cleared the way for him as he made his progress in their direction. James placed his arm round Jennifer’s shoulder and pulled her nearer his own shoulder.

Jennifer looked up at him and gave a wan smile. Never mind, James, I can manage, she said.

James threw a quick and surprised glance at her. She could figure what James had in mind. She smiled again and turned to watch what the pastor was doing. Her eyes met those of the pastor’s and both looked briefly at each other as if they were studying the built-up emotions that were packed in each other’s mind. As if he had been waiting for the green light from Jennifer the pastor finally nodded toward her and then looked away to concentrate on what he was doing. He handed back the censor to the acolyte and looked round the sympathizers. There was now a wave of silence and expectation from these sympathizers. Then the pastor began to say slowly.

We’re gathered here this rather cold afternoon to pay the last respect to our fallen brother in Christ. This brother of ours has been snatched away from us by the cold hands of death. His demise is likened to the snuffing out of a brightly burning candle—. He stopped as he heard low whispers of emotion from the mourners. He looked round them for a while and then continued. Yes, it is a pity that this has happened. Our brother was taken away from us when we needed him most. O death, you have really done one of those things we dread. We are not afraid to die but when a death, as has just happened, occurs there’s no doubt that the bereaved and sympathizers alike would be plunged in deep grief. He looked in Jennifer’s direction for a while and their eyes met. He noticed that some trickles of tears were now coursing down her cheeks, making the dark sunglasses she wore to make her look like a blind person sweating down the face.

Suddenly Jennifer removed her head from James’s shoulder and stood erect. She removed the dark sunglasses that had all the while acted like a brick wall along the trajectory to her mind. The reverend gentleman was surprised to see that the tears on her face had evaporated! James drew closer to her as she made her way nearer the periphery of the would-be grave. She looked into the six-foot pit and then looked away instantly. She shrunk with fear and disgust. She focused on the mahogany coffin that was edged round with gold. She squinted at this monstrosity for a while as if the golden part had suddenly begun to throw light reflections into her eyes. Then she looked away. She now looked every inch like someone that had suddenly resolved to take what had been befalling her but not without a fight. She was now prepared for a fight. The sympathizers exchanged glances. Then the reverend gentleman continued.

But death, in spite of everything, we shall still continue to ask, where’s thy sting? We know that in the midst of your fury and wicked deeds we shall still rise again one day when we shall live to die no more; a day when we shall all be in the Hands of our Maker and Master, the only True God. We are now sure that our brother has been received in that state of happiness where all tears in his eyes have been wiped away. He turned again to the mourners and then continued. I therefore ask you all to mourn naturally but rest in the belief that our brother is now in the hands of the good Lord. He turned to the chief mourners and continued. Jennifer and James, everyone here and I are expressing our heartfelt sympathy for this tragic loss.

He looked round the mourners again and then continued. We shall now proceed with the burial ceremony.

Jennifer threw in the traditional handful of earth onto the lowered coffin. She winced, turned and left the cemetery almost immediately. She was driven home in total silence. James tried to speak with her but noticed that he would be speaking to granite statue. She got home, threw her clothes all over her bedroom and retired to bed immediately without saying a word to anyone. She shifted from one corner of her bed to the other and continued to exhale large whiffs of air from time to time. Then she lay on her back and began to look at the ceiling.

She sat up suddenly. Her chest was beginning to heave up and down quickly as she struggled quickly to fill her lungs with the much-needed air. Her usually well-kept hair was now thrown askew looking like much agitated brush bristles. She began to look round the room like someone that had been dumped into an abandoned dungeon. Then awareness began to creep into her gradually. She levered herself gently on her bed. She shifted away from the bedclothes. She looked round the bed and noticed the askew nature of the bedclothes and her own clothes. Had she been struggling with someone? She wondered. She shifted her gaze from these and was able to focus on the dressing mirror on her far right. She cursed under her breath. She turned away and her gaze fell again on the bedclothes. She looked herself all over. She grimaced and hissed aloud.

She began to lever herself out of bed while she thought. She started wondering why James was not around her. She couldn’t fathom this out and was suddenly rewarded with a sharp stab of pain on her head. She winced and stopped her progress out of bed. She now sat on its edge and leaned over while both hands supported her head. She remained in that position. The only times she felt this type of pain were when she got stressed out. Awareness of the true situation now dawned on her. She was now remembering vaguely, though with much effort, how James had brought her earlier to the room. She remembered how he offered her one of her pills and a glass of water. The awareness of what happened subsequently diffused in her brains like a tincture of dye in a big bowl of water.

She raised her head when she felt some little relief. She now levered herself completely out of bed. She stood on one spot and stifled a yawn. This effort left some built up tears that suddenly clouded her vision. She walked gingerly toward the full-size dressing mirror. She stopped before it. Her heart missed some beats when she saw what stared back at her on the mirror. She quickly looked over her shoulder and was convinced it was for real. She couldn’t believe that her forty-five birthdays could have brought this remarkable transformation! She wondered whether the two little dark bulges below her eyelids were the result of her present predicament or what the imperatives of aging brought along. These two dark bulges looked like hillocks in the middle of a slowly denuding landscape.

She began to wonder how time could fly with such alarming velocity. Her mind flashed back twenty-five years earlier. No matter how life bugged one down one would still not forget some important milestones in one’s life! Jennifer was not an exception. She now remembered with great nostalgia those moments of glory. They were moments when she thought she was in a world where she would continue to live without the bludgeoning hands of passing time touching her. They were moments she thought she was in a land where everyone had ceased to grow old. She looked again at the mirror and then turned slowly to look at her exposed arms. She noticed the little dark spots, some other types of emerging freckles and the little creases of skin. There was time for everything, she now surmised. Her heart contracted a little in reaction to the feeling of ecstasy she had on that glorious day she felt the coveted crown of Miss America on her head. She remembered how her fellow contestants, paragons of beauty in their individual rights, smiled wanly and looked green with envy as the klieg lights of the cameras flashed away, and illuminated her path to the reign of another newly-crowned beauty queen. It was indeed a master key that opened all doors of success for her!

This was when she had just completed her graduate degree program in social psychology in the University of Pennsylvania, her state university. If she had good looks alone then folks of the opposite gender would have been having that murky feeling that she was the type that made her passage through life by merely flaunting those admirable parts of her. But when she was able to combine her beauty with her brains then anyone who had the audacity to approach would look at her with much respect and admiration. In spite of her successes she still kept her head but did not conceal from any member of the opposite gender that she wasn’t the type to be taken for a ride. Indeed male folks that had such a feeling, albeit remote, were quick to realize that she was like a seer whose psychic searchlights illuminated the inner recesses of their minds. She didn’t mind being looked at like a farmer whose scythe cut through the intruding vegetation as she made her progress. This was the situation until she met James Jackson.

In their moments of lightheartedness she had always told James that he would have scored lowest among the multitude of male folks that had shown the unsurprising attention toward a lady. She never failed to recall the first moment she came in contact with him. It was in one of those elitist gatherings in which attendees were there strictly on invitation. She had just finished her one-year reign as Miss America and was still, undoubtedly, in the list of who’s who in Philadelphia, if not in the whole of the United States. She had caught James as he was looking at her. Trust a woman with her instincts. She knew what was going on in his mind. She smiled to herself and said between her clenched teeth, ‘O not another one!’

Before she finished her surmising she felt the silhouette of someone next to her. She turned round sharply and placed her hand on her chest. Aw John, you nearly made my heart jump into my mouth! She recovered instantly and smiled.

Sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you, John Jackson said. He smiled at her and turned to look at his companion for a while. Then he turned again to smile at Jennifer. I’m bringing a new baggage to you, he said finally.

Jennifer looked at him in surprise and transferred her gaze to John’s companion for a brief moment. She turned away and looked again at John. A b-a-g-g-a-g-e? What does that mean? She asked.

John smiled again and looked at his companion that was now smiling. Then John turned to Jennifer. Jennifer, he began, I would want you to meet, my younger brother, James Jackson.

Before John could finish his statement of introduction James had already extended his arm toward Jennifer. The latter brought out her hand timidly. They shook hands.

If James was a little bit awkward when it came to feeling at home in the presence of a lady, especially a stranger, he was considered a master in the area of academic pursuit. He bagged his doctorate degree in nuclear physics from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology at the age of 26. Jennifer who was quick to recognize his great potential had this inner respect for him but usually taunted him whenever they went out for a party during their courting periods. James usually stepped on her toes during their dancing sessions. She always told him that he learned nothing else in the university other than bagging strings of academic laurels.

If one would say that James’ only pastime was to bag academic laurels it would not be wrong to say so for other members of his family. Even though they did not carry it on their faces as a form of a trademark, the attainment of excellence was the norm in that family. This trait was not hidden from the public eye. And the public reacted accordingly by showing their admiration. For example, John Jackson, James’ elder brother, was a renowned practicing defense attorney in Philadelphia until he got elected into the Pennsylvania Senate. His other sibling was a senator in the United States Congress in Washington. Their father was a Democratic governor of Pennsylvania in the early 50’s. Many other younger cousins were members of the House of Representatives. This glowing family background was one of the keys that opened Jennifer’s heart at the time she was considering James as her future husband. That was at this moment history for the forty-five year old Jennifer Jackson and forty-seven year old James Jackson.

The chiming of the hour whacked her out of her surmising. She looked at her freckled arms again and grimaced. She looked quickly at the clock on the mantelpiece. It was 6 o’clock in the morning! She wondered how long she had slept since the previous day after the burial ceremony. The memory of the burial ceremony was now like the resuscitation of a heavy weight that had begun to weigh down heavily on her frayed and sensitive frame. She felt like one that had woken up to great pains from what felt like a mere abrasion the previous day. She walked briskly to her closet and yanked it open with a screeching sound. She looked briefly at the line of clothing materials and grabbed her cotton wrapper. She pulled it out and threw it over her shoulder and round her. She grabbed the waistbands on it and fastened them round her waist. She turned round quickly and her eyes fell on her bedroom slippers. She pushed her feet into them and began to walk toward the door. She stopped suddenly and turned round again. She walked to the toilet and slammed the door behind her.

The sound of the flushing toilet drowned the sound of James’ approach toward the room. He stood on the doorway as Jennifer came out of the toilet. She smiled briefly as she saw her husband. She turned and walked to her dressing stool. She dropped onto it and looked around the line of cosmetics near the mirror. She looked through the corner of her eye and noticed that her husband was still standing on the doorway. Why are you standing there like a little boy unsure of what to say to her overbearing mistress? She asked quietly and with suppressed truculence.

"I heard some noise in your room—so I