Captured Moments in Time: And Songs from the Heart
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About this ebook
This book is designed to give the reader more of an understanding of what has prompted the writer to create these proses. This book motivates the reader to stop and think about things. Understanding what motivated the writer to put the words together to create these poems makes the experience long lasting and appreciates your past better. We each grew up with challenges. How we handled them, how we remember them, how they changed our behavior and thinking process is the differences that can push a person into writing to heal. Each time you read what she wrote you are moved to a deeper understanding of her life and her journey through it all.
Colleen Dione Taylor-Rowe
Before Colleen could write she fell in love with poetry through the songs she sang at church. The words moved her mentally and gave her direction in her thoughts. Having journeyed through some tough times and personal challenges she began to write to bring some direction and clarity to her everyday life. Today she continues to capture moments in time. Her thoughts surround the moment and she is filled with words she is compelled to write down. Many times the understanding of what she writes becomes clear some time later. The words seem to fit a moment of time in her life or someone around her.
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Captured Moments in Time - Colleen Dione Taylor-Rowe
Prelude
Prime-time TV in the 50’s and 60’s was rife with examples of the model family. There were the Nelsons, the Stones, and who can forget the Cleavers.
The television networks of that era presented these families as role models
for the American family, and headed them with quintessential parents whom the troubled youngster seemed to always seek help from in solving some sort of moral dilemma, which occurred at the beginning of the show or sometime shortly thereafter. Upon hearing the youngster’s rendition of the dilemma, one or both of the parents would dish out some tidbit of advice (that your own parents reticently or overtly agreed with), which the youngster would later use to make the right choice
, and we’d get to hear them verbally reflect on the lesson(s) they learned.
I know the network producers of those TV family shows intended for me to hear the Beaver’s
verbally reflects, but I didn’t pay much attention because my problems weren’t like his. My main problem was dealing with problems my parent’s parents had passed on to them, which didn’t fit nicely into a 30-minute episode. But ironically, I did conclude my multi-year episode with some non-verbal reflections on the lessons I learned, which it is now safe for me to express in the following few choice words, and subsequent poems:
• Don’t make your parent’s issues, your (and your children’s) issues It might sound odd, but children today learn about parenting before they become adults. Children should be encouraged to not grow up fast. If this line of thinking was adopted, we’d have much less perpetuation of parental issues, and more parents willing to embrace the uniqueness in their children.
• Don’t internalize family issues to the point that you can’t get on with your own life. Dysfunction, child neglect and abuse are family issues that you should always try to leave in the past. It is very important that you be able to separate your feelings about yourself and your siblings, from what your family thinks or says about you. Your family is not everyone
, and as helpful (or harmful) as they are, you are still the only one that can be you.
• Look for the uniqueness in yourself and others Uniqueness is a principle characteristic of anything deemed valuable or priceless. The unique things about you were put there to help distinguish you from others, and give you the opportunity to indeed be priceless.
• Look for life lessons in the bad times as well as the good ones. A church friend once told me that there can be no testimony, without a test
. She basically meant that you need to experience some not so good
things in order to appreciate and understand what a good thing is.
Like a lot of people, I had a childhood filled with family issues that continued to affect me into adulthood. Some of these issues stem from guilt trips that were laid on us by a parent or sibling, but others are far more physically and psychologically demoralizing. This first poem attempts to erase some of the residue of this later category of issues. It was derived from a letter that I wrote but never mailed, because I didn’t feel the recipient would truly understand the content.
A Battered Child’s Cry
Dear Father,
You will probably never get a chance to read this letter. The intent of this letter is what counts so I ask the winds to carry this letter to connect with your soul. You may not approve of who I have become, you may dislike how I live, you may never understand me during this life time and you may never know how much I wanted to love you as a father. Do you understand that I walked away from a relationship with you because to stay would only hurt us both more. I find your behavior unacceptable in my life because, my reactions to your behavior are unacceptable to me. I do not like the person I am when I am around you. I do not have respect for you as a father figure because I believe that a father should not have hurt his children like you did. A father is also a husband and I believe that a husband should never treat the mother of his children so badly. I love the father I wished that you would have been and I forgive the father you are. May the lord give you peace for what you’ve missed for not taking the time to get to know the uniqueness and love of my daughter and I.
Prelude
As much as we want to deny it, outward appearance is still the fundamental criteria used to form initial opinions about another’s worth or right to belong, by most people over the age of 5. This initial opinion is formed by consciously or unconsciously measuring people against ideals and images, which have been seared into our consciousness, over our entire lifetime. In a majority of cases, this measuring stick has, fair skin color, is charming, tall, thin and articulate in their speech. The problem is not so much that initial options are formed based on this image, it’s that these initial opinions take root, and treatment patterns emerge from them towards those that do and don’t fit it. Those that do, enjoy a lot easier existence than those who don’t. Those that don’t are subjected to treatment patterns which range from avoidance, to unintentionally cruelty, to downright hatred.
I use to fit the image described in the previous paragraph. During this period in my life, I caught myself treating people according to how much they looked and behaved like me. Now that I’m older and carrying more than a few extra pounds, I see things quite differently. Perhaps it’s just karma, perhaps not. At any rate, it feels good to be able