Leadership & Rock & Roll: Integrating Leadership into Every Area of Your Life

© 2010 Beth Bratkovic. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 11/3/2010

ISBN: 978-1-4520-7408-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-7409-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-7410-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010912747

Printed in the United States of America

Cover stock imagery © Loongar | Dreamstime.com

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

For my family and friends. I love you.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Forward

Introduction

PART I: Leadership and Self

Leadership and You

Leadership and Entitlement

Leadership and Good Luck

Leadership and Friends

Leadership and Integrity

PART II: Leadership and Life

Leadership and Rock and Roll

Leadership and Minimalism

Leadership and Working Out

Leadership and Cooking

Leadership and Playing

Leadership and Falling Down

Leadership and South Africa

Leadership and Whitewater Rafting

Leadership and Teaching

Leadership and the Restaurant Business

Leadership and Cars

Leadership and Jimmy

Leadership and Bike Riding

Leadership and Being Left Handed

Leadership and Cigars

PART III: Leadership and Leadership

Leadership on Leadership: Selflessness

Leadership on Leadership: Courage

Leadership on Leadership: Discipline

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

Writing this book would have been impossible if I hadn’t had the opportunity to see true leaders in action.

To those who lead others with kindness, care, and competence: Cheryl, Judy, Tom, Ed, and Bill – thank you for being such strong, true leaders. I learned much from each of you.

To those who were less-than-capable leaders: I learned from watching you as well.

You learn far more from negative leadership than from positive leadership, because you learn how not to do it. And, therefore, you learn how to do it.

– Norman Schwarzkopf

Forward

What a brilliant collection of leadership insights! Beth has shined the leadership light into the many corners of our everyday lives. Her quotes, comments and, most of all, personal stories make this book on leadership so real and so relevant. Too many times we are prisoners of seeing leadership from a single dimension of a company or organization and yet here among these chapters with very different titles, we find leadership in everyday life and everyday circumstances. It’s been there all along but it took an author like Beth to bring out the many ways that true leadership is integrated into the fabric of our lives.

Beth has done us all a remarkable favor by painting word pictures about what true leadership is all about and how critical it is in all we do. She has given us a valuable gift of herself as she implores and encourages the leader in all of us to be the best, to be real, to be determined.

And, who can forget the rock ‘n roll songs and lyrics she blends into every chapter…………….the soundtracks of our lives. They inspire us today as much as they did when first heard over the airwaves. They resonate with our hearts and souls that provide the passion, energy and desire to embrace the leadership in all of us and do something exceptional with it!

Keep the books coming, Beth!

Jeff Carroll

Career Strategist

Introduction

Just take that old time rock and roll,

the kinda music just soothes the soul.

– Bob Seger

This book is about the many different ways that leadership can be integrated into life. When John Quincy Adams, the sixth president of the United States of America, said, If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader, he did a good job of crystallizing this approach to leadership. Consider the influence you have each and every day with the people in your life – from the people you work with, plan with, eat with, chat with, coach, cajole, or even simply meet on the street.

Leadership is everywhere. Almost everyone has been placed in a leadership position at one time or another; it is whether or not we acknowledge this opportunity and act as leaders during these times that help us grow. Those in leadership have a significant responsibility for the effect they have on the lives of those they lead. Leadership is a set of skills and mindsets, both of which can be learned and honed through consistent practice and application.

Two things have influenced me throughout life: leadership and rock and roll. Leadership has been my professional life; I’ve been learning about it, practicing it, and training others to lead for more than twenty years. I’ve been listening to rock and roll, and getting inspired by it, for a lot longer than twenty years.

The concept of this book is born from one fact: there is an opportunity for ineffective leaders to become tolerable, for tolerable leaders to become good, and for good leaders to become great.

Ineffective leaders affect the esteem and morale of others. Some use bullying and intimidation as their management style of choice. I have been on the receiving end of such leadership, and was made miserable by it. I have researched and adjusted my own behaviors to ensure that I would not be one of those people.

Tolerable leaders are status quo people. They have the title, but do not act in a way that creates engagement, passion, and innovation, nor do they develop those whom they lead. They are more like shadows than leaders – although they do not have any blatant dysfunctional behaviors, they affect their teams’ morale and capabilities by being disengaged and not excelling at their role.

Great leaders inspire. They inspire themselves and others. They develop their teams. They create an environment of candor and creativity. They are selfless, courageous, and disciplined in their leadership abilities.

As I began to research leadership skills and how they affect others, it became more and more evident that leadership exists in all aspects of life. When I considered the skills and abilities required for musicians, I found that they mirrored the skills and abilities of great leaders. Many musicians have talent, but this talent needs to be learned, honed, and polished in order for the individual to become a respected musician. Many hours of practice, blisters, frustration, and energy are a part of every musician’s life. This is as it is with leaders. Leaders learn every day, and apply their leadership tenets to every aspect of their lives.

While at the gym listening to Led Zeppelin’s Kashmir and doing abs (that song is 8 minutes and 31 seconds long … that’s a lot of crunches!!), I started thinking about bands, music, and leadership. It struck me that the creative process, environment, discipline, innovation, courage, and the willingness to take risks all really played into one another. I’ve been in a band called Phil Rockrohr and the Lifters – I am a Lifter – for the past several years, and it’s a blast. Watching the creative process with musicians is a pretty amazing thing; there are always differing perspectives and priorities, strengths and weaknesses, egos, and yet somehow, music gets made, rehearsals get done, and gigs get booked and played.

How are you using your life to become a better leader? This book provides some anecdotes and a framework to help you apply leadership to every aspect of your life.

PART I: Leadership and Self

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself – and be lenient to everybody else.

— Henry Ward Beecher, political and social reformer (1813-1887)

The first key tenet of leadership is to have a strong, true understanding of yourself. What motivates you? What drives you? What are your strengths? Your opportunities? What things do you excel at or enjoy most, and which cause you to struggle or dread spending time on them?

The more clearly you understand who you are, the more likely you are to know how you will be perceived by your team, and how to adjust your leadership style accordingly. For example, if you know you are highly competitive, this will be something you will need to manage; if you have team members who are not competitive, you will need to be thoughtful in the way you approach them during conflicts, goal setting, and dialogue to ensure they feel they have been heard and appreciated. Likewise, if you are accommodating by nature, you will need to ensure that you are not allowing yourself or your team to be manipulated by others who use a more forceful approach. Neither of these traits are bad; they just need to be understood, so they can be managed.

How well do you know yourself? The more you are willing to be introspective about your own behaviors, the more you will come to understand yourself. This process can be scary, but it’s also empowering. Through introspection, you give yourself the ability to improve, adjust, and manage – but only if you acknowledge those things that need to be improved, adjusted, and managed.

This process is very similar to rehabilitation of any kind. You need to acknowledge that you have a problem before you can begin the healing. Self knowledge is power, and personal power provides the opportunity to hold yourself accountable, to yourself as well as to others. This is the first step to effective leadership. In short, you have to know yourself in order to lead yourself, and you have to be able to lead yourself before you stand a chance of leading others.

Who are you?

Who who, who who?

– The Who

Leadership and You

We forge gradually our greatest instrument for understanding the world – introspection. We discover that humanity may resemble us very considerably – that the best way of knowing the inwardness of our neighbors is to know ourselves.

– Walter Lippmann, journalist

Do you understand who you are, and why you are here? Leaders must begin by leading themselves effectively. To do this, you need a clear understanding of your personal strengths, filters, biases, and overall life philosophy. The clearer this understanding is, the more likely you are to become a great leader. Clarifying your driving principles and your life’s mission provides insight into the kind of person, and ultimately the kind of leader, you wish to become.

How well do you know yourself? Do you know what motivates you? What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? Your fears? Potential derailers? Those things that make you most proud? Most embarrassed?

I like to use a variety of quotes as guides for living my life and making decisions. These reflect the key tenets and guidelines that form the foundation of all I do.

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children. To leave the world a better place. To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

What others think of me is none of my business. (Anonymous)

Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be. (Abraham Lincoln)

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. (Martin Luther)

Life is too important to be taken seriously. (Anonymous)

"Nothing makes it easier to resist temptation