Will to Survive: Stop the Jihadists

support.

CHAPTER 1

It’s the South Bronx, a crime-ridden area inhabited mostly by poor disenfranchised minorities. Abandoned houses are boarded up. Walls are defaced with graffiti. The street near the curb is littered with broken glass, crushed beer cans, cellophane wrappers and unidentifiable debris. The summer day is hot and humid. There is a smell of decay wafting in the air. The Miller family is one of the last white families in the neighborhood, stuck there by the immigrant parents’ lack of education. Mr. Miller and his teen-age son are returning from shopping at the nearby bodega.

Three tough-looking young Hispanic men are jiggling up the street. The biggest of the three looks like the leader. He sports a tattoo, a dagger with red blood dripping from it, on his upper arm. Raised welt-like scars on his face are from past knife wounds. The three of them see the middle-aged man, carrying a grocery bag, and the teen-age boy walking toward them. One guy sees the man take the boy’s elbow and move to cross the street. He and the other two move to block their attempt to cross. The boy feels his father’s grip tighten and senses his father tense up. The boy also tenses, aware of a threat from the approaching men. He doesn’t know what to do; it is like when he was attacked by neighborhood bullies who said, You don’t belong here.

The leader of the three moves close to the father; sneering with contempt he bats the grocery bag out of the man’s hand, causing peaches, oranges and plums to roll out onto the ground. The man, with his head down, tries to avoid eye contact.

Geeve me some money, the leader says.

Don haf any. Spent it at da store.

Don sheet me, man, the leader says as he slaps the man across the face. The father raises his hands to protect his face, but the big guy pulls his hands away and spits in his face. The other two laugh. The big guy pushes him hard, knocking him down and kicks him in the ribs. The man groans and draws his knees up. Suddenly, more angry than afraid the boy goes to punch the assailant. A second of the three swings open a switchblade knife and with a smile wields it in front of the boy’s face. The father yells, Aaron, stop! The boy backs away. He is shaken by the sight of his father on the ground. He wishes he could just disappear. He wishes he could kill these sons of bitches. The one with the knife sees the cell phone in Aaron’s pocket grabs it and puts it in his own pocket. The three guys high-five each other, laugh and walk away. Apparently, they are predators just playing with their prey, at least this time. The boy extends his hand to help his father up and sees the humiliation in his face. He understands his father, a grown man, was helpless; there was nothing he could have done. After a minute of quiet, the father looks at the boy and says, Aaron, don’t tell your mother about this. They gather up the fruit and put it back in the bag. Aaron trembles, thinking what could have happened. They could have killed us. He promises himself that he won’t ever experience the pain and humiliation he saw his father suffer. He thinks, I have to find a way to better myself and get out of this shit hole. I don’t want to get my ass kicked by the neighborhood scum every time they see me; I gotta learn how to protect myself. There’s nobody to help protect me in or out of school. I gotta find a way. If I had a gun and they started on me I’d blow them away. But he knows it would never happen. He wouldn’t get a gun, and even if he did he would use it only to scare them away. Aaron and his father walk toward their building without speaking or looking at each other. They go up the stairs to their apartment and Aaron hands the bag to his mother. She takes out the fruit and says, Aaron, why didn’t you help your father?

Startled by the question, Aaron says, What?

His mother, looking at the fruit says, He got peaches that are bruised. You should have helped him pick better ones out. Aaron shrugs. His father goes into the bathroom.

CHAPTER 2

For several days Aaron dwells on ways to protect himself. He remembers ads he saw on television, showing guys like Chuck Norris who were strong and took no shit, and another guy who sold exercise equipment. He should increase his strength and muscular size, maybe even learn karate. Yeah, he’ll do it. During his sophomore year in high school, Aaron goes after class to the local YMCA to work out with weights. He keeps a rigorous schedule and works hard at his routine. Occasionally, a body-builder type, a regular in the gym, notices Aaron’s determination and offers guidance. Bend your knees when you lift. Keep your back straight. He shows Aaron the correct way to do various exercises to get maximum benefit and reduce the likelihood of injury. One afternoon at the gym, lying on his back, doing a large number of bench-press repetitions, Aaron feels both the burn in his arm muscles and the fatigue. He has no more strength and is ready to stop. His would-be mentor who has been watching, comes over and says, Press out two more. Aaron has no more strength in his arms, but the guy encourages him, C’mon, man you can do it. Aaron inhales deeply, filling his lungs with air and feeling his chest expand. He exhales and strains to push the weight up. Once he gets it up he is reluctant to lower it, afraid he’ll be pushed to do one final press. Closing his eyes and shutting out everything, he summons all the strength he could from his aching arms and completes the last press. The guy watching him says, Good job. The experience of doing more than he thought he could was repeated many times in the weight-lifting area. Every so often Aaron weighs himself and looks in the mirror to admire the increasing size of his arm and chest muscles. He learned that when his endurance and resolve were at an endpoint, he could push more. He also learned that having a supportive person urging him on in difficult tasks helped him achieve better performance than working alone.

At home he hears, Aaron, I hope you do something with your life. Do good in school. Become a doctor or a lawyer or even a teacher, from his mother. Aaron doesn’t know what he wants to do. Maybe reading self-help books might give him direction. He decides to try it. When time permits, he takes a bus to a Barnes and Noble bookstore and hangs out there. He finds a comfortable place to sit and sample self-help books. Among the ones he returns to are books by Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill and Tony Robbins. He believes their books contain useful advice. He hopes that by following what is in these books he can increase his opportunities for success. Robbins’ advice to learn by modeling successful people makes sense to him. After a quick glance or two, he passes over books by Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer; these books are too mystical to him: their sentiments are nice, warm fuzzies but are more like poetry than practical advice.

At school Aaron befriends a loner, Simon, a high achieving classmate who is regarded as geeky by the others and he spends time studying with him. He sees how Simon takes notes and underlines important topic points. He learns to do the same and sees his grades improve, although not to the level of Simon’s.

Aaron graduates high school with good but not exceptional grades. He wants to fulfill his parent’s ambitions as well as to find a way out of the neighborhood. Eight weeks before graduation, Aaron meets with his advisor and says, I’d like help applying for college.

The advisor, looking at Aaron’s transcript says, I see your grades improved over the last few semesters but your overall average isn’t great. You’re not likely to qualify for a scholarship or for financial aid. However, if you manage to get a loan for tuition you probably can get accepted somewhere.

His parents are in no position to help him and he doesn’t want the burden of a loan. He thinks about getting a job and taking classes at night. Some people finished college that way, but it seems too tedious and to take a long time. Still, he believes something will work out. He makes an appointment to visit the Admissions Office at NYU to ask for assistance. While waiting in the outer office to see an admission counselor, he looks at brochures on the side table. He sees one describing government programs for college, designed for veterans. He sees a program that appears to be a real alternative for him, a route to a college education through army programs. Aaron looks up the benefits of serving in the army and finds that the GI Bill would pay for college after he left the army. If he stays in for a longer time he might qualify for a kicker, a bonus grant. That would be his ticket to change his life for the better.

He had heard of the admired achievements of the Special Forces units and wonders if he could rise to their standards. Despite some apprehension he goes to an army recruitment center to speak to the soldiers there about joining. There are posters on the wall extolling the benefits of army training. Also on the wall there is a photograph of the first black president of the U.S., elected a year ago. When Aaron asks about Special Ops, a recruitment officer tells him, The Special Ops units require demanding training. Only guys with extreme commitment and crazed determination make it; even then it’s not a sure thing. A lot of guys don’t finish the training but go into different units and do very well.

Aaron is not dissuaded and says, I’ve got try. I have to see if I can meet the challenge.

Okay, if you’re sure, you can enlist under the 18X option to get a shot at it. First, you’ll have to go through Army Basic Training and advanced individual training. Then there’s Airborne Training, etc. After all this, if you don’t wash out you will be assessed at the Special Forces Qualification Course. I say again the path is very tough. Do you still want to try, or go for an alternative service?

Even though he’s anxious about it and not sure exactly what he’s getting into, he says, I have to see if I can meet the challenge, and signs up.

CHAPTER 3

Training begins. On the first morning, a drill instructor with a voice like a foghorn on a quiet night, jars the recruits awake while it’s still dark and assembles them out in the icy morning air. With a sneer, he walks back and forth along the line of men. Aaron sees the DI as a hard-nosed, burly, red-faced Irishman, like a stereotype from a movie. The DI stops in front of a slender dark-haired young man and asks, What are you doin’ here? You ain’t big enough or tough enough for this trainin’. Why are you wastin’ your time and mine? The recruit doesn’t respond. Next, the DI stops in front of an African American and asks, Can you keep up with the white boys? This is not a hip-hop, rappin’ unit. The man neither flinches nor responds. The DI stops in front of Aaron, looks at his name tag and asks, Is Miller a Jew name? Aaron stiffens and hesitates.

Well?

Finally, Aaron says Sometimes it is, sir.

Don’t beat around the bush. Are you a Jew?

Yes sir, I am.

Not many Jew boys come here for trainin’, and even fewer make it through. They don’t have the toughness. Why are you here?

The DI’s manner and his implication that Aaron doesn’t belong here, arouse Aaron’s memories of being intimidated and bullied in his old neighborhood. Aaron thinks, This son-of-a-bitch is trying to press all our buttons, trying to get a reaction, and answers, I intend to complete the training, sir. The DI smiles mockingly and says, We’ll see about that. He stops in front of each of the men in the line and pushing his face into the face of the recruit continues asking insolent questions or making insulting comments.

Early in the morning of day two, the DI bursts into the barracks hollering, Rise and shine you lazy turds. You want to sleep all day? The men, awakened from their deep sleep, are groggy and still in their underwear. The DI barks, Okay ladies, drop and give me fifty.

Aaron does fifty pushups. As he starts to get up, the DI glares at him and says, Who’re you tryin’ to kid? I said fifty not forty. Gimme the rest. Aaron starts to say he did fifty but thinks better of it, and does ten more. He and the other men endure physical exertion demands and tolerate verbal abuse from all of the DIs. At times the abuse is directed to the group like when the instructor says, You ladies are lazy fuck-ups who aren’t ready to do shit. I’m going to teach you how to do a lot of shit. At other times the abuse is directed toward an individual; like the time a heavy recruit didn’t complete the required number of push-ups. The instructor said, You fat tub of lard. If you can’t meet the requirements here, drop the fuck out and make the unit better for your not bein’ here. The others feel bad for one another when one is singled out that way. No matter how they feel they suck it up and move on. The fast-paced running gets to Aaron. It seems like every day they run miles for conditioning. During the first few days of running his lungs are on fire and he gasps to breathe. That discomfort passes, but then he gets blisters on the heels of both feet; he ignores them for a time thinking that he has to rise above pain. He thinks of the TV program, Kung Fu and the Shaolin priest who mastered pain. With effort he is able to tend to his blisters; eventually they toughen to callouses.

One of the simulated combat exercises involves crawling through mud under low strung barbed wire while under simulated fire. Aaron is not low enough to clear the wire and feels a barb dig into his scalp. He says, Shit, as he feels blood dripping onto his forehead. He thinks, I’m not cut out for this; I should try some other unit. But he can’t see himself as a quitter. He doesn’t report the injury as it might count against him.

Later training exercises include hand-to-hand combat. Despite warnings to be careful some men broke bones, had bruises, and strained ligaments. Within five weeks half of the volunteers who started with Aaron drop out for one reason or another; mainly they couldn’t get their bodies to meet the near impossible physical demands. There were times when Aaron thought he couldn’t make it. He was about to quit from pain or from exhaustion but remembering his past experience in the gym with his mentor saying, You can do it, he talks himself through it. Another time, Aaron sees a fellow trainee about to give up on an exercise. Aaron calls over, "Just