Soul Exposed Volume 3: Inner Facts Guidance Self Literacy

Soul Exposed

Volume 3

Inner Facts Guidance Self Literacy

A.J. Prince

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© 2012 A.J. Prince. All rights reserved.

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Published by AuthorHouse 1/26/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0196-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0195-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0194-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011960599

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CONTENTS

CHAPTER XLII

Saturday July 1st, 2000

CHAPTER XLIII

Sunday July 2, 2000

CHAPTER XLIV

Monday July 3rd, 2000

CHAPTER XLV

Thursday July 6, 2000

CHAPTER XLVI

Saturday July 8, 2000

CHAPTER XLVII

Monday July 10, 2000

CHAPTER XLVIII

Tuesday July 11, 2000

CHAPTER XLIX

Saturday July 15, 2000

CHAPTER L

Monday July 17, 2000

CHAPTER LI

Tuesday July 18, 2000

CHAPTER LII

Sunday July 23, 2000

CHAPTER LIII

Wednesday July 26, 2000

CHAPTER LIV

Friday, July 28, 2000

CHAPTER LV

Sunday July 30, 2000

CHAPTER LVI

Monday July 31, 2000

CHAPTER LVII

Thursday August 3, 2000

CHAPTER LVIII

Saturday August 5, 2000

CHAPTER LIX

Monday August 7, 2000

CHAPTER LX

Tuesday August 8, 2000

CHAPTER LXI

Wednesday August 09, 2000

CHAPTER LXII

Sunday August 13, 2004

CHAPTER LXIII

Tuesday August 15, 2000

CHAPTER LXIV

Thursday August 17, 2000

CHAPTER LXV

Monday August 21, 2000

CHAPTER LXVI

Wednesday August 23, 2000

CHAPTER LXVII

Friday August 25, 2004

CHAPTER LXVIII

Friday August 27, 2000

Vocabulary

DP: direct perception

HBB: human being becoming

PPKG: prediction psychokinetic game or lottery game

CL: complete life

IL: incomplete life

CHAPTER XLII

Saturday July 1st, 2000 

DP307. Sitting on a sofa beside a few women, somebody who reminds me of Peres appears shakes hand with two of these women leaves with them. Then I hear HBBs making some noise outside.

It is a hypothetical situation or something that can happen in the future, for it implies that the women who are sitting beside me in the sofa are my children or some relatives. I do not have children yet; nonetheless I do have a bunch of nieces with whom I could sit on a Sophia. The family implication is enlightened by the arrival of the man who takes the hand of the women and goes away with them. If I could be in sexual/love relationships with these women, it would not happen that way. There would be a fight between this man and me for the woman, at least there would be resentment on my part, which is not expressed in the DP.

Anyway the DP reminds me specifically of your nieces in Haiti, two entire sisters’ daughters: Navidala, Navidalene, Migueline and Kattia. When Eddy, Monise’s son, was alive, he took care of them. After his death I thought I could help them somehow, but have not been able to do such a thing till now. I don’t really know what they are doing now. They must be in hiding. Eddy was killed in an ambush. Kattia married, she is in medicine, Navidala Navidalène are in accounting, Migueline is married, the is a nurse a nurse.

From time to time I compulsively thinking that I should find men for them (How could I have such a stupid idea? I am not a matchmaker. I am not happy having this kind of compulsive thought, that is their choice). Rationally, I know it’s not my business. They are from 18 to 24 of chronological years. I am not their father and mother. Even their father and mother shouldn’t have much to do with their kids relationships.

Enough of family, the women may be representing women I see on TV or heard singing. They are in my mine or my psyche talking to me all the time as if we were married. One woman even told to write a letter to tell another that I do not want to marry her anymore. So there is a bit of turmoil in my psyche linked to that subject.

The fear symbolized by Peres is what prevents them or some of them to contact me in complete life. It can be my own unconscious, as you say, fear too.

DP308. Where I appear, I see a white woman sitting in front of her hairdressing table. She mixes egg yoke with a product and put the whole put the thing on her skin.

Was it a black woman or a white woman I saw? This kind of sort of chest of drawer with a huge mirror on top and in front of which women sit to put makeup on exists only in Haiti may be, or in dressing room of actresses. I haven’t seen one here.

It’s triggered by some of the reflections I was having the same week. I was thinking that women are much more careful about their skin than men. They make sure that it is well humidified. They put all sorts of product on it to get rid of wrinkles etc. I was thinking that I myself, I would not be able to distinguish between a skin, which is humidified, and one that is not. I was thinking that I do not know if North American men are preoccupied by their skin too for not having done a research on it.

I know that men in hot courtiers or men in Haiti put powder on their chest, their face. My father did that too? Because it is always hot in these countries, you do not get dress to go out or for important functions, to go to church without the extra precaution. You know for sure you are going to suet. Having suet in your face your chest is not considered very sociable, may be everywhere, not just in hot countries.

DP309. Color update

Yesterday Monday (October 2003) I was supposed to try to understand these DPs, but I could not. I woke up in a sluggish mood. I drank some sherry Sunday. It’s like it has disturbed me. But last night, I did not color my hair, but I did put some color on the hair around my face. It is something I do once in while, when I do not color the whole hair. I dislike to see the little white hair around my face, knowing that it is one of the weapons I am going to use to kill myself at the end. There is no rational reason to die. So why do we die? I figure out that we do it, also, by seeing the white hair and thinking that we are old and ready to die, which becomes at the end a self-fulfilling prophecy.

DP310. Germaine appears passing near me. I think she is going to talk to me, but she goes straight ahead, without saying a thing.

Germaine is the younger sister of my sister in law, Fernande. When I was at secondary school, I was fooling around with her and got her pregnant, made her have an abortion. I am not proud of my action, but I do not regret having behaved like that. I was not able to take care of children then, years later; I am still not yet.

DP311. The children went to America.

It reminds me of my father, Soys, that I had not seen for some time before his departure from life. I knew that he was not very young, that he was often sick and that he wanted to know what I had had become in North America.

I did not plan not to go see him. It just happened. First of all, everything was not fine in my side (is still not). I was not solidly anchored in a paying work. I was wrongly dismissed from the school where I was teaching. It is a School District where I taught for the longest time. I was already working at creating my goals, but at that time (1991) it was all fuzzy in my mind, I did not have definitive direction, was not sure on what I was really going to be at the end of the tunnel. So I was very much a floating body.

Second of all, I knew that my father had around 29 other children beside me, that he was not in lack of filial attention and affection. Furthermore, some of his children were doing very well financially speaking in Haiti (compare to me still floating on that level in Canada). In other words, I thought he did not really need to see me for this purpose.

Third of all, my idea was that not seeing him would keep him alive longer until I went to see him. So when I learned that he was no longer I was disappointed, surprised, and experienced all the other feelings of lost. So I could not face reality as it was, did not go to his funerals, did not grieve his death properly.

My conduct in regard to past away father was not exemplary.

There is a sizable amount of Haitians living outside the country. It is probably the same case for many other countries loosing their ‘intelligent" HBBs to other developed countries. It why my idea to make Haiti part of Canada or United States or France or the 3 together would benefit everyone. The usual tourist would not be tourist anymore and the Haitians would stay in their country where it is hot almost all through the year, with the same political stability than the other countries.

DP312. I do not like art cents.

The day before the DP I drank a little bit of beer called Bull made in USA. There is a nice picture of the head of a bull on the bottle with painted in nice blue, yellow, red and white colors. Looking at the bottle, the reason why I was dreaming about art afterward, momentarily stimulated my artistic potential.

It was Canada Day. I did not remember what I did that day. It was not mentioned in the notes written down after the DP either. But during that day I often went to Canada Place, for I go to Canada place often all throughout the year. There is almost always a huge boat beside that place. I have the pleasure to look at them all the time. These boats are so big they are like floating building. They occupy the sea beside Canada place from one end to the other. I walk and walk; they are still there beside me. I really liked looking at these boats at Canada place in Vancouver.

Once I was going out with Alice. On Canada Day, we were walking on the street. At Howe and Robson we saw an already tall black man standing on a wall there and singing O’ Canada. It was so strange; we never forget it. So Alice and I used to joke about it while trying to imitate the man voice in singing O’ Canada.

Someone told me that Picasso was selling drawing for money almost everywhere. The impression I had after reading about Van Gogh is that they were having a very miserable life, although that might be not the true story about them.

DP313. Finishing my work in the middle of a great deal of HBBs, I say to myself that I am going to do what I can with the means I presently have.

It is probably an allusion to the Internet. I have three books to publish: 2 volumes of The Soul Exposed and one self help book I call Kickitwell Or Else which helps quit smoking and get rid of other addiction. As I haven’t have an editor yet, the DP may be saying that it does not take money to have a web site in which to advertise the books and that way put it in the consciousness of potential readers. It is the only means I have presently that I am not using. I am not aware of the other means I might have and am not using.

The DP does not mean that I shouldn’t have goals that I should be contented with what I have in my life now. It would be very stupid to think like that. On the contrary, I am always thinking that it is possible for me to have anything I want, to live any kind of life I want to live. I will never accept a life I do not like.

I don’t have a girlfriend presently. Derek who is living in the bedroom next to mine and who has a girlfriend is suggesting a menage à trois. I do not find anything reprehensive with 3 consenting adults having relationships together. But in this case I am not consenting to it, knowing before hand that Derek is bisexual. He is probably thinking that I am stupid for not accepting his suggestion, given that I do not have a girlfriend. But just because I do not have a girlfriend now will not make me sleep with any woman or fall in any kind outside show relationships, part time lover as Steve Wonder called it. I do not necessarily want to objectify the woman.

Some men and some women may try to justify homosexuality by saying to themselves that is all they can have. That is not always true. Furthermore, if you start the habit of getting what you can get, instead of putting more passion to get what you want, you start a precedent for getting more of the same.

I am working at creating what I want to have. It will be like that for me all the time, even if I die without creating a single thing, which is very much unlikely as Kanye suggested in one of songs die trying.

I think that the ultimate rationalization behind the idea of living the life I can have is of an atheist resonance. Although I do not practice any religion, I believe in a life well designed, that is I believe in the existence of a designer, that the earth was made so that HBBs can live in (scientific faith and faithful science).

DP is suggesting that I should use the ability to advertise products I have. I will do that (I can never do that Meatloaf) probably when the products are ready.

There the idea that psychology done in universities, in laboratory confinements is a better psychology than psychology done outside. We each doe our things and it very important that we stay ourselves meaning with our own ideas, creating our own products. Comparison is often unpleasant for we focus rather on the negative side of it. If I had to get into it I would give psychology done in universities 3 out of 10. All this time doing it the world is still on the brink of disaster if it is not rescued by the minority of HBBs.

DP314. Advise me.

It was in the news once; this guy had just broke up with his girlfriend. Instead of plunging in a dejected attitude, he placed a banner in the lawn of his house saying that he is available for relationships with woman with his telephone number. He received 300 calls in a week, goes out with the women by groups to get to know them.

The ability I wanted to practice during that DP was about letting the opposite sex know that you was available for relationships, which is still true now November 13, 2003.

CHAPTER XLIII

Sunday July 2, 2000 

DP315. ………..That’s why you take the shit of you.

It is somewhat a conclusion on what has been said, that is I do not accept life as it is, but as I want it to be to a large extent. I do not expect to recreate the world, I say it is well designed. I do not expect to change mountains into prairies, prairies into mountains. But inside of the natural boundaries, the possibilities are endless. Among them I intend to choose what is necessary to create my life.

So the sentence should be you take the shit out of you and keep what you like in you.

DP315. I do not like consented love, which makes itself old.

I still want to have children, so I would have a tendency to go toward women with egg still in good shape in order to satisfy that purpose (and I myself is not chronologically young, so a mix of young egg and sperm may be not so young). I would do as Prince Charles. I would marry a young woman, have children with her. After the children have grown up, I would divorce that woman, and go back to the less younger lady, the sunshine of my heart. What about a joke? How do I know that was his plan? I do not know, I am just guessing.

Is having children has anything to do with love nowadays or has it ever been that way? It seems that love is a more sophisticated phenomenon than having children. All animals reproduce themselves that way HBBs are more than being animal. Are there other animals able to love? Some birds mate only with one partner.

Is the DP referring to sex between consented adults? That kind of sex is ok by any standard of moral consideration.

I have never raped a woman, and I intend to keep it that way.

Although when I was younger chronologically speaking, I made love (I should say I had sex) in one occasion that could be considered as rape. Georgette was living in an apartment next to mine in a building on Villeray Street in Montreal. A friend of my discovered her, invited her to a party. I became so attracted by her, next Sunday after the party; I knock at her door, talked her about my feelings. We became two lovers the same day. She was so sweet and tender.

It was my second year of life in Canada, newly acquiring freedom of expression, some buying power; emotions were wild, almost impossible to contain. I had a friend name Jean Claude. According to him, I had to force myself on a woman sometimes even my girlfriend. So one day I forced Georgette to make love with me when she thought it wasn’t the time for it. When she left me, I suffered deeply.

There is such a thing, as phobia of love, romantic love that is, not romances. It is because romantic love is such an individual act, when someone for whom we did not have any amorous feeling declares his or her love for us; we panic, not knowing if the lover is our real house in him or our real love. Most of the time, we do not even know the characteristics of our real love; we do not even know whom we would really love. Then there is the lost of independence and the surrendering factors involved in romantic love. So the phobia of love or agaphobia is caused by known and unknown factors related to love (See Relation Amoureuse).

Consented love or created love, 2 of the numerous types of love Known by us. Consented love is the one we receive after being nice to someone else. In that sense it is a passive type of love.

Created love is more active kind of love. We create something because we love it enough. In consented love the beloved exists from the start of the process. In created love it is the lover who exists at the beginning of the process.

The women whispering in my ears. Some of us do not like consented love because we fear that we do not deserve it, because we have sado-masochistic needs, or because we feel we are of no value. Myself I suffer that even today again. I missed many loves opportunities because of that. I felt inferior to the women especially European.

DP316. Any number

This may refers to psychogenesis or what you call psychokinetic abilities or the ability to do things using only the thought process, the ability to move object by thought for example. I link psychogenesis and this DP or any number to signify that any set of numbers I choose to play would win, because it my thoughts, my self that who is going to make it win.

One of the parameters of the researches that I am doing is on psychogenetic phenomena. I have some results, which are very scanty for the moment. I chose many sets of numbers. But not the whole set win, only part of it. For example I have chosen once 5 14 16 26 36 45 and played it at BC/49. Only 14 26 36 45 won. The same happened to me a many times. But I am still doing the research. The results will be better in the future may.

It was reported in lottery magazine called Luck. A number of HBBs in British Columbia picked a set of numbers gathered together regularly and discussed about it afterward for about three months. Then their set won a big jackpot. A woman in England picked a set of numbers, the number of her age, sister age etc. After a year or so she won the big jackpot. These winning events are psychogenetic phenomenon at work. The DP is because I could not tell when we win if it is a psychokinetic event or a prediction, when we predict an event if we just predict it or make it happen, I still do not have a definite answer. May the two are inseparable.

DP317. Where I appear I see two men wearing gray pants and shirts standing up face to face as if they are talking to each other.

Grey kaki uniform was what I wore at one of the secondary schools I attained. It was a boy only school. Does that play a role in the formation of my personality? Is it why despite the long chronological age that is in my driver’s license, social identification card, I still do not have children, nor a wife, nor a girlfriend? Is it why I spend five years without touching a woman intimately? Do you know why? Tell me.

DP318. She is my wife, with me and a member of her own family. It is question of money. I want him to know that I am his sister’s husband.

Recently, I started thinking that it would be a good thing to make the experience of being married, to really feel what it’s like. My parents were married. My two entire brothers are married living like married with children. The relationships of the couple living upstairs in this house is called married with children". So I am not unfamiliar with marriage. But I cannot tell what it really feels like until I experience it myself. Then, there are also the children I may have and who may wear social stigma if brought up in an unmarried environment. It will not really up to the woman me will meet, for I will meet the woman I wish in the first place. She will be like me exploring the possibility of making the experience of marriage. The DP is about the couple upstairs or couple in general, for I have never been married.

DP319. To buy something in a machine I put a $50 bill in it. As if it does not recognize the $ 50 bill or it takes it for one-dollar bill, because it is asking me to put much more money while what I buy costs a lot less.

The ability that I wanted to practice during the DP was about winning millions of $. Money is registered in my psyche, even though it’s not the exact amount that I had in mind. In fact the DP is saying that the amount does not matter much at that level of reality, that $1, $5 $50 or $50 millions are from the similar to the same at that level of reality, it seems. At one time I used to win $50 very often.

When I had the DP, the New Democratic Party was still in power in British Columbia. The previous democratic government was brought down on a scandal created by a game for money. It was called Bingo Game Scandal. Nowadays, with the liberal government there