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Change Your Stress: Restore Your Freedom to Choose

Change Your Stress: Restore Your Freedom to Choose

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Change Your Stress: Restore Your Freedom to Choose

132 página
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Lançado em:
May 15, 2012


When stress creates a wedge between the rational mind and the emotional mind, we cannot be free to choose. However, nature offers us the tools to create and support positive change. This will matter as we age.
Finally, a practical solution for such a common and persistent problem. A highly motivating read from a new perspective. This book can be applied immediately and continue to help those who need answers for life and business. Highly recommended for those who are looking for help now.
life coach and international author, Best Affirmations

Lançado em:
May 15, 2012

Sobre o autor

Richard D. Murphy has studied tai chi for thirty years and has taught many people how to overcome stress. He has worked as a native community worker and helped many people with emotional healing. Richard is the founder of ProCalm Stress Management and provides workshops on work/life balance. Richard has also overcome the stress of a birth defect, the legacy of alcoholism, and abuse. This inspired him to help others who struggle with childhood trauma. Today, he lives with his wife Carol on Lake St. Clair. They have two children and five grandchildren.

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Change Your Stress - Richard D. Murphy

Copyright © 2012 by Richard D. Murphy.

Contact – www.stressmaster09@yahoo.ca

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-5078-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-5077-0 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-5076-3 (hc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012908131

Balboa Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403


1-(877) 407-4847

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Balboa Press rev. date: 05/10/12



Introduction Change your Stress

Chapter 1  Self - Awareness


Desire in Perspective

Personal Needs


Chapter 2  Stress Awareness

The Roots of Stress

Avoidable Sources

Unavoidable Sources

The Effects of Stress

Stress in Perspective

The Potential of the Stressful Life


Chapter 3  Crossroads



Paradigm Shift

Chapter 4

The Way Forward

Positive Change

Guiding Principles of a Strategic Plan

Create the Relaxation Response

Balance Exercises

Chapter 5  Maintain the Path

The Nature of Stress

Centered Awareness

Manage the Sources of Stress

The Way of Nature

The Power of Expectation


Chapter 6  A New Perspective


The Power of Enthusiasm

Indicators of Positive Change



Suggestions to Support your Journey


These very special individuals contributed to my path and provided me with direction. They have had an exponential effect on so many people through me and the work that I do.

Sifu Tong Bin Lee, Sifu James Clark, Sifu Henry Lee, Sifu Alex Wu, Mamie Lee, Anna Lee. [Sifu means teacher]

A special thanks to Marc. I wouldn’t have found this path without you.

I would like to extend a heart felt acknowledgement to the many First Nations elders and healers who so graciously shared their path with me. They have contributed to my abilities as a helper. [Thanks Liz] They have also taught me how to see life through new eyes. It was my privilege to share my Tai Chi teachings with them. I was very honored to play a part in the healing of their people.

I would also acknowledge the many people who have allowed me to walk their path alongside of them. These incredibly courageous people have come to heal, and to find themselves. They all continue to give me purpose. [Thanks Linda]

I would like to thank Ed Raymond of Marquis Motivations for pointing me in this direction.

I also wish to thank Scott Armstrong, the founder of Boulder Coaching Academy, who guided me through this process.

Thanks to Marisa Wood for her awesome editing skills.

To my one and only love Carol, who has taught me the true meaning of patience, understanding and compassion.

Change your Stress


I WROTE THIS BOOK to address the needs of those who are bound by a stressful life. If you realize that your life has become a struggle, then I hope to provide you with a better understanding of what you are experiencing. It will help you to see stress for what it really is, so that you are able to change it because there is no reason to feel helpless against life.

I have spent the past 30 years helping people to deal with their stress. I believe that I am a helper because of my own life experience. I was born with a birth defect which left me totally and permanently incontinent. This rare blessing has given me a different perspective on who I am.

Trying to live a normal and fulfilling existence is difficult when you struggle to stay dry. Avoiding the embarrassment of wetting your pants is an ongoing challenge. This became quite poignant as I went through the stage of life when acceptance seemed to be important. Going to school is hard enough for anyone. As life so often does, my personal challenge did get the better of me, and caused me to struggle. I was abandoned by my biological father shortly after my birth and this took its toll on my ability to feel good about myself. Many people grow up without their birth parent[s] and they deal with that in their own way. Some try to shrug it off as though it doesn’t matter, but deep inside they feel the hurt. The idea of not being wanted is not easy for most people to manage well. I believe that abandonment is the deepest cut to the heart. Growing up in a home affected by alcoholism added to an already difficult situation. Abuse just seemed to complete the overall experience and contributed to the feeling of helplessness. It also caused me to adapt. I developed the irresistible need to seem bigger and better in everything. This got me into a lot of trouble. I became very abusive to those who loved me the most. This fed the stress of regret, guilt and shame.

However, I feel as though my life has been relatively good. I grew up knowing that I was loved and supported by my incredible mother, and loving grandparents. My aunts and uncles were excellent role models. I had many incredible cousins who were very caring. I always felt loved and connected to a large and wonderful family. My birth defect allowed me to attend a camp for disabled children in which the experiences I had there influenced my personal growth. I learned from others the value in overcoming whatever I would face. I do consider my life to be blessed in so many ways. This perspective on my experience has carried me through many storms. It has provided me with the strength to keep going with the trust that it will somehow get better. This trust was supported by my own personal effort.

My experience has offered me the chance to see what can be accomplished in spite of a stressful life. It has forced me to learn patience. It has given me a deeper sense of understanding. I still struggle with incontinence, and the challenge to avoid the embarrassment is ongoing. I still live with the legacy of abandonment, abuse, and alcoholism. However, I found the path to my own healing and have neutralized the effects of these negative circumstances. I have been challenged by work related injuries which led to many surgeries and ongoing disability. This ended my career after only sixteen years. Losing my job made me feel useless and like less of a man. Pain adds a whole new twist on the effort to stay dry. When every step is a new adventure in pain, the old bladder just dumps anywhere, anytime. On top of that, I managed to contract rheumatoid arthritis. I believe that this was due to the accumulation of stress over time. This has limited my ability to enjoy many of the things which I value most. My life is an ongoing example of living in spite of the stressful

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