Emily

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Epilogue

Dedication

ELIZABETH SMAIL INSPIRED ME to write about her life’s journey. I met her in Vancouver, British Columbia when she was 100 years old. I listened in admiration as she related her life story only interrupted with numerous glasses of sherry and her endless puffing on a cigarette.

The story of her life has been on my mind for sometime. This novel, embellished a great deal, but based on the true life travels of this very courageous, adventurous woman.

Acknowledgements

FRANCES, MY LIFE PARTNER gave me endless love for sixty awesome years. We journeyed through life fulfilling our travels with meaning and purpose. My present memories are a joyful recollection of those heartwarming days, months, and years we spent together as a couple.

Family is everything to me. They are always so supportive of my writings. Without their love and care I wouldn’t be able to write a single word. My sons and their extended families enrich my daily life with their concern with this aging body of mine.

Alley Devore inspired and encouraged me to write my biography. Afterwards, she enthused my life with the desire to continue my writing even though I didn’t think I was capable of doing any intensive writing. She urged me to carry on while correcting my many repetitive grammatical errors in her own caring ways. Sometimes as I write, I find myself smiling while thinking of the awesome tactics she used to correct my writings. "Cut that caboose loose you’re using it too much." (She would write—referring to my over use of commas). Her wise counsel was always present for me to lean on, and her memories remain vividly in my thoughts. Alley passed, but her literary presence remains with me as I write each line and chuckle about the many cunning ways she would find to help me become a better writer.

Trinda Smith, always aware of my sensitive nature, edited this manuscript with loving care similar to the ways her mother edited my previous writings. Her wise counsel, encouragement, and constructive guidance have added considerable meaning and depth to the final outcome of the script.

Marty Eldridge, my computer mentor, never compromising with my lack of knowledge about my computer use, cheerfully helped me through the many glitches I created for myself.

Finally I give God the glory for the strength he has given me throughout my life. He has kept me in good health to continue my writing, which has become the joy of my life.

Chapter One

THE SHARP RINGING OF Emily’s antiquated alarm clock woke her with a start. Today would be the dawning of a new life—a venturing, a time envisioned and dreamed about these past two school years.

Meagan, Emily’s high school teacher, acquired a scholarship for her at Oxford University, one of England’s most prestigious English Literature universities. The year was 1913, when few women were considered eligible for scholarships to obtain a higher education. Emily’s papers in her last years proved to be the stimulus for her teacher’s recommendation.

Still resting beneath her warm covers, she envisioned her future as a professor at a major university somewhere in the British Isles. A private thought, one she wouldn’t dare share with anyone, not even her mother, pushed her yearnings further. Such a career was unheard of in her time, especially for a farm girl from the Scottish Highlands—it was a vision she’d inherited from her teacher, who was unable to achieve this great feat for herself. Emily wanted to emulate her teacher and go beyond her achievements to become a leader—a leader far exceeding any other women in the literature field before her. Her goal was large and encompassing, and with this new sense of strength empowering her awe-inspired thinking, Emily greeted this new day with the utmost enthusiasm.

Her ambitions large—her imagination bursting—her excitement spilling over, success beckoning—regardless of her aspiring yearnings, she struggled with the single thought of it being too large for any woman in 1913 to achieve, much less a farm girl from the Scottish Highlands. Other stray unacceptable thoughts emerged, causing unwanted fears to arise and doubts to surface within her.

Oh, how could she doubt her ability to fulfill her ambitions? She queried herself.

Questions unfurled within her. Did she have the strength, the mettle within, to accomplish such an overwhelming ambition?

After all, no other woman had achieved such a lofty position in the literary world. To date, all major universities in the British Isles employed only male professors.

Life on her family’s Scottish farm the last eighteen years, filled with family love and affection, would be difficult to leave behind. The passionate love and closeness she enjoyed with her parents and siblings gave her second thoughts about pursuing this new way of life. But, Emily’s youthful enthusiasm clambered for this ambitious change to become a reality. The time was here—it had arrived. She must cast aside her fears, her doubts, and embrace the new way of life she envisioned for her future. It could happen—only happen—if her desire didn’t pale in the process.

The hard farm work assigned to her by her parents before and after school, tiresome at times, but overall, an experience she’d learned to value. She’d built her childhood on the simple menu of farm life. Hardships, true, but a good wholesome childhood filled with understanding and responsibility. She reached down and affectionately petted her dog Rufford. He always lay next to her bed. She longed for a few moments more to enjoy the warmth of her covers, her thoughts, and to give Rufford some attention too…

Rufford, the family’s Australian Shepard and a notorious sheep dog had entrusted his devotion to Emily from day one on the farm, and chose to spend his leisure hours with her. He would walk to school with her then rush back to do his work with the sheep. And should her father finish early, Rufford would be waiting to walk home from school with her. It was like the two of them adopted each other. And now she was leaving. Emily’s thoughts centered on which member of the family would become Rufford’s surrogate friend, as none of her siblings had developed the closeness she enjoyed with her companion. Leaving her sidekick behind was a deep concern for this ambitious farm girl.

Working the farm herding sheep and helping her father was Rufford’s favorite work. He relished doing his share. Over the years he’d earned his keep by doing just that—herding sheep for her father, who had trained Rufford well. Emily enjoyed watching them work from afar, as they skillfully worked together as one, moving the sheep from one pasture to another. A whistle, a wave, a command always put Rufford in position for her father’s next move.

Her suitcase, mostly filled the evening before, lay open for the last items to be added just before she left in an hour or so. Her prized alarm clock and Bible lay close by, sure to be packed. Emily and her mother spent time the previous evening packing and reminiscing. Their life together was special—equally shared love and affection by mother and daughter alike. Emily would surely miss her mother’s attention to her needs, but the call to adventure had energized her inquisitive mind.

Rufford and Emily made their way to the kitchen, and the scent of Mother’s freshly baked bread greeted them. The kitchen, the warmest room in the family’s stone cottage, was the favorite meeting place for all members of the family. There was a large peat stove, coffee always ready for an instant warm-up, her mother’s flavor-filled cooking, and the alluring draw of her mother’s loving nature, readily given to all members of the family.

The family was in full swing fixing breakfast when Emily and Rufford arrived. Each member of the family carried out certain assigned chores at mealtime with nary a word spoken. Emily’s chore, setting the table, was already assigned to Shannon, her next younger sister, making Emily feel unneeded. The job had been hers since her older sister left home a year earlier. The pouring of the milk was assigned to Cara, her middle sister, and Rachel, her youngest sister, delivered the toast and jam, and fetched the butter from the cool cellar. Her brother, Donegal, poured the coffee as their father read a passage from the Bible. Her mother, bent over the stove, hastened to complete breakfast by the time her father finished explaining the passage he had just finished reading. Meal times were special for every member of the family, including Rufford.

Emily’s eyes settled on the family around her. In a caring moment, she recognized her parents were aging. It was a rare thought—one that hadn’t occurred to her before—but on this special morning it was plain to see. It brought to mind the many hard years her parents spent raising her and the rest of the family. Her father was strict, but fair, and said little. Sometimes he would give a hint about what he was thinking, but seldom voiced. He toiled from sunrise to sunset seven days a week, doing whatever was necessary to provide a living for his wife and children. Her mother always kind and loving had knowledge of everything practical. She’d only attended grade school, but the wisdom she shared with her children gave them the fundamentals for life. Her parents worked in harmony raising the family, and Emily loved them for it. Life on the farm was a punishing way to make a living—especially finding a way to tame the rocky terrain of the Scottish Highlands—but love was everywhere in their cozy stone cottage, to be shared by all. The farm, eighty acres at most, passed from Emily’s grandfather, to her father, and in turn would pass to Donegal, her father’s only son.

Emily studied her father as he read from the Bible. His face was drawn and thin from the sting of the harsh winds of the Scottish Highlands, and her mother’s back was bent from her hard work around the family’s stone cottage. Their work was never-ending, and it had taken the two of them to grind out a meager living for the family.

Her concerns about her aging parents led her to review her years on the farm. She moved her feet back and fro to relieve her tensions. Rufford rested his head on her foot and put his warm body against her leg, awaiting a tasty bit to be passed to him for breakfast. Her father would ask one of the children to take the Bible in hand and read a passage before they could begin eating—a daily ritual Emily enjoyed. Today was Emily’s turn because she would be gone ’til the holiday season. She’d prepared her reading the night before and presented it without a stammer. Her father’s approval was obvious. The glint in his eye, and her mother’s quiet smile, warmed Emily’s heart. It would be difficult leaving them, but she knew it must happen if she was to achieve the dream tugging at her heart.

Her mother brought the breakfast to the table. Rufford stirred. Emily looked around at her siblings as they waited eagerly for their plates to be passed. Her brother, Donegal, a tall thin stick of a youth, and her father’s constant companion, was easing his way into running the farm alone. It was the family tradition for the father to retire from the hard labor when the oldest male sibling was capable of taking on the difficult chores. Her three sisters would probably marry a local farmer’s son much like her older sister had done, or stay at home to help their Mother. It was the way in the Scottish Highlands—a tradition she was desirous to break—not with the intention of hurting her parents, but to satisfy her overwhelming desire to achieve something even beyond her wildest imagination.

The family didn’t talk much at mealtime, but Emily knew her brother Donegal would take over her bedroom, as she had done when her older sister moved away. He would probably take over her place at the table too. That’s how it was done in their little stone cottage. There would be little change in the family’s routine when she left because everything had remained the same for untold years before her. Emily would break away and become the exception to the way of life most youths followed in the Scottish Highlands.

Breakfast finished, Emily waited silently for her father to say goodbye before he went to the fields. Just before closing the door behind him, he turned and looked back at Emily—a long look, with nothing said. Emily waited as the seconds ratcheted by. Rufford was confused—he gazed at Emily, then back to her father, back to Emily, and back to her father. Unsure about this new development, Rufford ran back for a final fondle from Emily before following her father out of the door.

Emily’s mother looked at her with a compassionate expression on her face, and Emily went upstairs, fighting back the tears that were on the verge of erupting. Her relationship with her father had been contentious at times. It was difficult for him to reveal his feelings, causing her to doubt his love for her. Emily loved him deeply in spite of his unapproachable facade. When she needed encouragement or advice she had learned to turn to her mother.

It was time to pack her few remaining items in the family’s worn suitcase. She had no idea what dormitory life would be all about, living with other girls, and sharing her thoughts of family with them. Surely it would be warmer than her stone cottage. Her mother soon joined her. Little was said, but being together for the final moments was tranquil and heartwarming. Neither would forget these special moments together.

They sat on the bed and viewed the contents of her suitcase, packed neatly the night before. A few gingham dresses, the bulk of her possessions, mostly filled the suitcase. She added her Bible and prized clock. Emily considered if she would appear common wearing her plain clothes among the wealthier school students. Her dresses were plain, made mostly by her mother, and were sure to become the subject of teasing among the more affluent girls in her class. She would carry a heavy wrap to cover up if someone made a distasteful comment about her wear. The upcoming weather would turn brisk as the fall chill and wet season approached, and the extra wrap would be welcomed.

Emily’s butterflies multiplied as they silently waited together. Everything had been said til now, but somehow tranquil silence filled the final moments of their time together.

The sound of a car horn stirred their attention. The time had arrived. How could she say goodbye to her family? Her father, Donegal, and Rufford were herding sheep in the lower pasture. Rufford was always eager to help father herd the sheep from one pasture to another. Without a doubt she would surely miss Rufford. Oddly, her thoughts turned to her father’s displeasure at her leaving the farm to follow her ambitions.

Emily was pleased she wouldn’t have to say goodbye to them—it would be too painful. Her mother understood her desire to leave, but it hadn’t set well with her father. Tears flowed as she hugged her sisters, with a final hug for her mother. Leaving needed to be quick and not protracted.

Meagan, her teacher and mentor, stood calmly in the doorway, viewing the warm goodbyes amongst the family. Emily took a final look around to recall the sight of home in her mind, to be joyfully remembered, when needed. She smiled faintly to relieve the stress building inside her frail body. It was time to go.

She waved a final goodbye to the family as Meagan drove down the gravel road to Emily’s new beginning. Meagan said little for a few moments—her favorite student was having a difficult time leaving her beloved family behind.

On the way to fulfilling her ambitions, Meagan reinforced Emily’s courage by telling her experiences she encountered on her first days at Oxford. She, too, had the same apprehensions years ago. She encouraged Emily to forego her fears and greet this new life with the enthusiasm she displayed during her last years in high school.

They arrived in Aviemore, a small town where the locals purchased their necessary farm supplies. At most there were six stores. They passed one store where her mother sold her sewn clothes, and another where her father purchased his farm necessities. Emily visited the town once a year when the ranchers got together to celebrate harvest time. The bus station was located on the edge of town.

Emily’s heart pounded furiously as Meagan’s car came to a stop. The dawning of a new life was about to happen. Uncertainty about her ability to accept this new way of life crept into her thoughts. Meagan could sense her discomfort about her ability to conquer her fears—fears that erupted from nowhere. Could it be because she hadn’t ever ventured beyond Aviemore? She boldly considered.

It was time to board the bus for the long trip to Oxford. There was little time for goodbyes—a short hug from Meagan would suffice. Meagan slipped an English Literature book and money into her traveling purse for her use on the way. It would be a long hard trip, first by bus, then train, and bus again, before she would reach her final destination in southern England. Emily took a last look at her teacher as the bus pulled away. Tears flooded her eyes and ran down her cheeks. Emily was on her own, to make her own decisions and take control of her young life.

Chapter Two

MEAGAN’S FACE FADED FROM view as the bus sped away from the Aviemore bus depot. Emily’s mind filled with warm thoughts of her teacher, the family, and the farm. Memories of her family would become a safe haven when things weren’t going well or if she happened upon an unsure moment. Doubts crowded her mind about her ability to function in a new world without her mother’s or Meagan’s support. Her anxiety grew considerably as the bus traveled mile after mile toward her new destination.

This new life—was it something she really wanted, or had Meagan sketched her future for her, a future Meagan was unable to fulfill for herself? Meagan hadn’t shared much about her youthful years with Emily, and all she knew was Meagan attended Oxford University, and then came to the Scottish Highlands to teach English Literature. She’d queried Meagan numerous times about her years at Oxford, but her vagueness about those university years had created uncertainty within Emily’s thoughts.

Doubts about her ability to fulfill her dreams assailed her mind. Months of visualizing what life would be like at the university were soon to become a reality. An unexpected feeling arose within her—determination—a staunch determination—adding courage to face whatever was necessary to make her dreams come true. She couldn’t fail, no matter how difficult the future may become.

Her teacher and parents had prepared her well for this new adventurous life. However, thinking her ambitions as being far too extravagant for a simple farm girl to achieve increased her uncertainty about the upcoming times. She was on her way—too late to turn back now. Her lofty ambition needed to be achieved—regardless of her personal insecurity. The year was 1913. Few women were privileged to receive an education beyond the eighth grade, much less seek a college education such as the one her ambitions were guiding her toward. Most women were satisfied to marry, mother children, and raise a family, but not Emily. She was going to become a Professor of English Literature, an achievement unheard of for a woman in the early 1900’s.

Emily spent months carefully choosing her future, but was she strong enough to live the dream, to endure the failures, and overcome the unforeseen obstacles, that could prevent her from eventually enjoying the life she envisioned for herself? Whatever the costs, she felt destined to grasp this opportunity with determination and complete it—complete it somehow. Every future decision will be hers—hers alone, if she was to complete her future ambitions.

Her thoughts turned to her family, her safe haven. Their love was always there, no matter what. And Rufford, would he be able to cope without her? Her father wasn’t pleased with her decision to leave the family. Would he forgive her and welcome her home during the holidays? Or if she failed, would he allow her to return home at all? Would her mother write as often as she had promised? And Meagan, her strongest advocate—would she write and encourage her from time to time as she had also promised to do?

It was time to dispel worries of her family, her teacher, her favorite companion, and get on with her new life. She’d made the choice, not knowing how arduous it might be. Her vision was her answer to years of dissatisfaction with the status quo of farm life. Her dream to achieve something far beyond what any farm girl from the Scottish Highlands might accomplish, couldn’t be denied.

She had chosen a window seat to view the landscape. The bus traveled on and away from her former life. This was the first time she’d ridden on a bus. A year earlier, when the family came to town, she had fantasized about traveling out of her home sphere on a bus just like this one, and now she was doing it. Mile after mile the bus traveled on while her apprehension grew more alarming. She fought with herself not to get off at the next stop and return home to her mother.

Over time the landscape changed. It was no longer the wind blown, rocky, and mountainous terrain of Scotland, but filled with subtle rolling hills with pastures so green they almost appeared like a painting she’d once seen. Emily had never seen anything so beautiful. Her eyes explored the roadside, seeking the opulence of this new world. Trees lined the roadside, keeping Emily’s imagination alive.

In another five hours the bus stopped in a large town. Most of the passengers exited the bus carrying their suitcases, and they were walking through town. Emily inquired about the location of the train station.

The bus driver pointed in the direction of the train station and said, Just follow those people, and you’d better hurry. I’m running a little late today. The express train should be leaving soon.

The buildings were taller than any she’d seen. She hastened toward the train station, passed a number of storefronts, paused, and looked in awe through the store windows at the array of goods offered for sale. Her pace slowed as each window front attracted her attention. By the time Emily reached the train station, the express train had long since left the depot. She’d missed her first connection. Meagan had warned her not to linger between transfers, but she did just that—meandered—and missed her first connection.

Meagan’s words came sharply to mind—Move quickly when you are making a connection—then sit and wait.

Emily hadn’t followed Meagan’s sound advice and now she was faced with a dilemma. Startled and bewildered, she reminded herself not to be timid. Meagan coached her to be outgoing and not to be afraid to approach people if she had a question or needed help.

She asked the ticket manger when the next train would leave for her destination.

It will be here in about two hours. What’s the matter? Did you miss the express?

I did. I’ll wait for the next one. Can I use the same ticket?

Of course, one problem though. The next train takes two hours longer because it stops at every mill town on the way. If you have another connection to make you’ll probably miss that one too.

Thank you. I’ll manage somehow.

A disturbing thought, but one she must face. Her next bus connection was a local, and should she miss her connection another one would surely follow. The thought eased her concern. It was too late in the day to meet with the Registrar. She would need to register at the University the following day.

Dejectedly, she vowed to rectify her heedless ways and mind the wise council of her learned teacher. She went out to the train platform. She would not miss the next train stopping by. She reached into her bag to get the sandwich her mother had fixed for her. Instead she found a note addressed to her.

Perplexed, she opened it. It was not her mother’s writing, and then she recognized it was her father’s writing. A puzzling circumstance, because her father rarely wrote letters.

"My dear sweet daughter,

I find it extremely difficult, nearly impossible, to believe you would leave the comfort of our home to pursue an impossible dream your teacher thought up for you. Lately, Mother has been having difficulties completing her regular chores and I was counting on you to help her. Instead, you are running off to do something—something unheard of in our time, a farm girl from the Highlands going to a University—a University where Kings have gone. Surely you must realize you are following an impossible dream.

Regardless of my hurt feeling at this time, I want you to know you are always welcome to return home to live with your family if things don’t work out the way you have envisioned. If at all possible I would like you to come home for the holidays. Mother will need you.

With love,

Father."

Emily, astonished at finding the letter, felt contrite. Her father hadn’t said more than ten words to her since she could remember. Now, he was asking her to return home and live the life of a country girl. She’d shared her dreams with the family for over a year and her father hadn’t uttered a word about her leaving. Maybe he thought the time would never come to pass.

She laid the letter on her lap and thought deeply about her father being hurt by her choice to live a life other than a farmer’s wife. Her father’s life had been burdened for years making a living for the family, and it had been hard for him to follow his father’s life, but it was a choice he had made for himself. And now, he found it difficult to understand Emily’s desire to strike out on her own to find a new way. He was not book educated and he found it difficult to find the most compelling words to express his feelings toward his children. True, he’d read a passage in the Bible at every mealtime, and he was capable of explaining it thoroughly, but words always failed him when the time came to praise or speak a word of encouragement or give advice to his children.

Troubled with her father’s letter, Emily sat alone with a fretful mind. She observed the people milling around the station. It interested her, but the feelings her father had stirred within her mounted, causing her anxiety to surface. She loved her father and she was sure he loved her in his own fatherly way, but regardless of her attempt to whitewash her feelings, his letter dampened her spirit.

She decided to read the book Meagan slipped into her bag—anything to take her mind off of her father’s letter. Those disturbing thoughts added uncertainty within her. Emily didn’t know how to soften her feelings about his ways. She enjoyed reading and it settled her active mind. Waiting was difficult, especially when her mind filled with apprehensive thoughts about her family and her future life at the University. To reinforce her courage she fantasized about her role as a Professor of Literature, as she had done so often in the past.

In about two hours the ticket agent called the upcoming train and its destination on his megaphone. Emily stood close to the edge of the platform, determined to be the first passenger to board. The train roared to a stop, the platform shook beneath her, adding another unsettling episode