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    The Day I Met Charles Bukowski & Other Stories
    The Day I Met Charles Bukowski & Other Stories
    The Day I Met Charles Bukowski & Other Stories
    Ebook54 pages44 minutes

    The Day I Met Charles Bukowski & Other Stories

    By Chassis Albuquerque

    ()

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    About this ebook

    *Firstly, check my website out for a free copy instead. Otherwise: The Day I Met Charles Bukowski And Other Stories...: "I realized what I'd thought at first was a man was actually: A very stocky woman with short hair who'd forgotten to shave."

    Laced with black humor, "The Day I Met Charles Bukowski And Other Stories" brings you a collection of eleven lighthearted short stories that will make you laugh out loud.
    Exploring the heart of the human condition - wait, you know what? I don't know what that means, the heart of the human condition. I'm going to look it up - hang on a second…
    …
    …
    …
    I looked it up. According to Wikipedia "The human condition" is "…a very broad topic which has been and continues to be pondered and analyzed from many perspectives, including those of religion, philosophy, history, art, literature, anthropology, psychology, and biology."
    That sounds like a lot of bull*hit.
    Whereas in "The Day I Met Charles Bukowski And Other Stories" a man travels back in time so that he can leave his wife. Another battles poor customer service demanding a non-existent product and that he knows doesn't exist. While one man faces the terrible inconvenience of the end of the world.
    There are other, funnier stories.
    "Invoice S11034" explores the terse interaction that exists between employer-and-employees, while in "Lunch" the CIA plots against a writer they consider dangerous. And in "The Mars Uncertainty Principle" we explore being an astronaut - by qualifying for the NASA space program in an online course. 


    "The Day I Met Charles Bukowski And Other Stories" - Short, funny and, much like my brother, Atigone Albuquerque, is ready and available...


    ________________________

    Dear Reader,

    If you enjoy the humor and references often used by writers such as Charles Bukowski, Hunter S. Thompson, Jack Kerouac, John Irving's earlier stuff, Ken Keysey, JD Salinger, Tom Robbins, Dan Fante, maybe even John Fante, J.G. Ballard, Chuck Palahniuk, Will Self, Dennis Cooper, Martin Amis, Anne Sexton, Jay McInerney and others, if you enjoy funny writers, writers with an edge, writers who are politically incorrect, writers who don't take their literary "masterpieces" too seriously, writers who can laugh at themselves, then this is for you.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this,
    Chassis Albuquerque

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherChassis Albuquerque
    Release dateApr 13, 2019
    ISBN9781540129338
    The Day I Met Charles Bukowski & Other Stories

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      Book preview

      The Day I Met Charles Bukowski & Other Stories - Chassis Albuquerque

      The Day I Met Charles Bukowski

      And Other Stories

      Chassis Albuquerque

      Copyright © 2018

      Chassis Albuquerque

      All rights reserved.

      This book or any portion thereof

      may not be reproduced or used in any

      manner whatsoever without the express

      written permission of the publisher or his mother.

      So good luck with that.

      JOIN THE MAILING FOR NEW RELEASES

      HERE

      Dear Reader,

      I looked at the mountain, with heavy gray clouds hanging low around it.

      Looked like we were heading into a storm.

      Chassis Albuquerque

      1

      Other Me Makes A Break For it...

      The first time I ever traveled back in time wasn't for scientific reasons, it was to a few minutes earlier - my wife and I had had an argument and, as usual, she'd managed the last word. Funny that, but with a time machine, well, all that shit could change because probably for the first goddamn time in history a man could have the last word. So fucking around with time and potentially fucking up history irrevocably with time-distortion crossover (this is a real thing) felt a risk any man should take.

      Time travel, pretty goddamn specialist, I'd picked up this particular time machine for just a few bucks from an online auction site - it was the size of a laptop very much like the Osborne 1, the first ever laptop built for mass-market. You know it?

      Anyhow, maybe I digress.

      It claimed to use a portal facility, making it much more convenient than an entire machine to have to maneuver about each time. There were a lot of intricate buttons and dials. Sometimes lights flashed and LEDs dimmed intermittently to distract me - once or twice a small time portal opened, too small to fit through, of course, but I could feel it, the time dilation.

      My mission? Don't die.

      At least, not yet, at least not before completing the actual mission.

      I just to calibrate it correctly.

      Finally ready, I powered it up, set the time coordinates and stepped through the little portal.

      Holy shit!

      I can see myself, I'm working on the time machine!

      I'd been working on it for maybe three days already by this point.

      For me time had practically stopped I'd become so obsessed by it. I'd tried contacting the vendor but my emails went unanswered and his phone was permanently engaged and in just a few minutes time my wife was going to appear to tell me I hadn't taken the garbage out again. And I'd say, well, if she knew about it why didn't she lug it out herself? Then we'd argue and she'd somehow emerge victorious, smug!

      Yeah, most of my marriage seemed to consist of my wife trying to figure out ways to punish me for not doing things. One of the worst things I didn't do? Be a good, reliable husband - I was pretty lousy and, if only for time reasons, I'd describe my best attributes as: I’m very lazy.

      I didn't want to alarm the other me. We both knew I'd been having some trouble with my heart, a murmur - "Leave her, she's a bitch! my heart would murmur - so I said quietly: Psst! Psst…! Hey…!"

      Huh…? other me says,

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