GLOBS OF BLOGS

TWO SEMESTERS IN 11,545 WORDS

LYDIA BROUGH

MY FIRST WEEK: I GOT NO SLEEP.

AUGUST 31, 2012

1. Shook hands with President Erickson 2. Got caught in a hailstorm 3. Played broomball 4. Had lunch with a friend from preschool 5. Had lunch with new friends 6. Earned my first Penn State A 7. Played the trombone 8. Was a part of the S-Zone 9. Tailgated 10. Ate too much. 11. Tie-dyed 12. Skipped a class 13. Found some cool trails; got lost 14. Called my mom 15. Survived club cross-country initiation 16. Spoke Spanish 17. Sang the Alma Mater 18. Learned names 19. Forgot names 20. Ran a race 21. Consumed my weight in Creamery ice cream 22. Learned that I actually like Econ (maybe I wont skip it anymore) 23. Learned where Mrs. Paterno lives 24. Watched Aluminum react with Iron(III) Oxide (awesome!!!) 25. Joined a THON group 26. Lost my room key 27. Found my room key 28. Finally watched Bridesmaids 29. Learned about locked-up tunnels under Atherton 30. Began to study the art of lock picking 31. Spent $150 on CAS textbooks

fter eighteen years of existence more or less focused on preparing for college, its hard to believe Im finally here at Penn State! In rapid-fire, ultra-concise mode, heres what Ive done with my first few weeks of college

To wrap it up, these are the top ten lessons Ive compiled from my experiences: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

32. Maxed out my phones data plan 33. Met Missy Franklins neighbor 34. Went to Taco Bell at 3:00am 35. Bought a cactus; named it after my sister 36. Conducted a critical analysis of crew parties vs. cross-country parties vs. hockey parties. 37. Said no 38. Attempted Pilates 39. Tried bubble tea 40. Skyped 41. Ate too much again 42. Learned how to use the library (but not without a map) 43. Spilled laundry detergent all over my clean, dry, folded clothes. 44. Ran away from a squirrel 45. Went to church 46. Had a philosophical discussion 47. Procrastinated 48. Learned Kazakh, Turkish, and Russian words from my roommate. 49. Decided I still dont like tofu or red beets. 50. Read in the the Catch 22 marathon 51. Got five free T-shirts 52. Did a fire drill 53. Almost got a picture with SuePa 54. Yelled WE ARE until my voice died 55. Regretted nothing My roommate lives in Kazakhstan, speaks four languages, and is engaged. Only freshmen actually wear their lanyards around their necks. West cookies are better than my moms. Going out does not mean stepping outside for an evening stroll to clear ones head. Apparently, Pennsylvania Dutch words are not frequently used in everyday conversation hereaccording to my classmates and spellcheck, the words ruchy, nixnux, and shwoop do not exist. Never forget to bring a towel to the shower. Econ 102 is definitely optional on Fridays. The construction at South Halls begins promptly at 6am. If you ride your bike to class, you should remember to ride it back. If you dont, you should at least remember where you left it.
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6. 7. 8. 9.

As of today, Penn State has exceeded my expectations, which were excessively elevated to begin with. I am encouraged that I made an exceptionally excellent decision to come here, and there are many extraordinary events I have yet to experience. (Arent alliterations amusing?)

10. When people look back on their college experience, they never regret not getting enough sleep.

ITS OVERHIP HIP HOORAY!

S E P TE M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 2

absolutely hate public speaking. Before my speech, I was really intimidated by many of my classmates who can communicate eloquently and comfortably in front of the class. Giving any speech would make me nervous, but I was especially anxious because I had the opportunity to interview Mrs. Paterno, and I wanted my presentation to do that experience justice. Actually, the interview made me even more nervous than the speech. Sue told me to give her a call to set up a time. Dialing her number was the second scariest thing Ive ever done, and ringing her doorbell was number one. Once we sat down and began the interview, I felt much more at ease. We talked about foreign plumbing and reality TV in addition to rhetoric and civic life. The whole time, I couldnt get over the Paternos huge kitchen table. Sue said that this weekend, shes hosting a dinner for fifty people. It was an honor to talk with her, and Im still a little in shock about the whole thing. After reviewing my notes from the interview, textbook, and articles, I had no trouble developing an outline centered around rhetoric and civic life principles. The difficult part for me is pathos and ethosI do not naturally evoke emotion in my audience or come across as an engaging speaker. I stutter, forget what Im speaking about, talk too quietly, fidget, avoid eye contact, and more than anything, I want to crawl into a hole where no one can look at me. I would rather run fifteen miles, eat worms, and/or clean toilets than give a speech.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldnt seem to give a coherent speech by free-styling off a few outline points. I ended up having to write down exactly what I wanted to say and memorizing it. I know thats not what we were supposed to do, but I really couldnt handle improvisation. For me, talking in front of the class is disastrous enough when I dont have to worry about which words to use. I practiced speaking for my roommate and even talked to myself while walking between classes. I also timed myself and practiced not looking like an idiot in front of the mirror. Overall, I my hard work and practice paid off and my speech was not a catastrophe. Of course it wasnt perfect either, but Im not in the habit of expecting miracles.

DOST THOU LOVE LIFE? THEN DO NOT SQUANDER TIME, FOR THAT IS THE STUFF LIFE IS MADE OF.
S E P TE M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 2

This predicament is not unique to my own college experience; almost all students determine that 1,440-minute days are not long enough. Perhaps, I should multitask while studying economics and calculate the opportunity costs of my activities. Unfortunately, those calculations would require time that I could spend doing something else productive. Every student makes different cuts from his or her list of prioritiessome neglect their personal hygiene, some forgo exercise, some skip meals, and others (like me) learn to function on four or five hours of sleep. Sure, there are students whose last-minute work habits are purely procrastination. However, I have not spent potential blogging time twiddling my thumbs.

m sure it comes as a surprise to no one that its approaching midnight, I have a 9:05 class tomorrow, and I am only beginning to write my blogs now. Some may say that Ive procrastinated, but I think that prioritizing might better describe this situation. From 8:15 until 10:15 tonight, I took my first chemistry exam. Naturally, I wanted to spend my day studying for that exam, not blogging. Of course before that I was practicing my CAS speech. Before the speech I was studying for math quizzes and doing other homework, not to mention eating, walking (you sure do a lot of that around here), going to thirty-four million different clubs and events, and sleeping. Just kiddingI actually havent been sleeping because it doesnt fall into the top-fifty on my prioritizing list.

To cite ECON 102, as demand for my time increases, quantity supplied remains constant but the equilibrium price rises. Each moment I spend studying, Im sacrificing increasingly valuable minutes for sleeping, running, socializing, showering, eating, or saving the world. In the spirit of prioritizing my precious time, this post will now conclude at exactly 300 words.

FRESHMAN FIFTEENTOTALLY WORTH IT.

S E P TE M B E R 2 7 , 2 0 1 2

s much as I would love to be a hipster and blog about all the seldom-pondered aspects of freshman year, I can no longer ignore the single most important aspect of my everyday life: eating. Some students say that they miss home-cooked meals, but I dont buy it. What can compete with all the ice cream you could ever want, free with your meal? As an ice cream connoisseur, I am practically in heaven here. In my short time at Penn State, Ive determined that the dining halls serve three main purposes: stress eating, social eating, and hungry eating. In this post, Ill provide an analysis of each of those categories. Right now, Im not too worried about the freshman fifteen. However, Im a little concerned about the freshman fifty.

For me, social eating mostly comes in the forms of nighttime Kiwi runs, post cross-country dinners, and weekend brunches. I know Kiwi isnt a Penn State dining hall, but I think its worth mentioning since I have five running Kiwi cards and dream about cinnamon bun froyo with cheesecake topping regularly. In Atherton, I can always find someone whos willing to bond over healthy yogurt piled high with marshmallow sauce and peanut butter cups. To anyone who lives in East and cannot visit Kiwi easilyI am truly sorry for your loss. After-xc-practice dinners at West also top my list of favorite social activities; the best nights are when the cookies are so gooey that they require a spoon. At these dinners, I can shamelessly overfill my tray in the company of fellow runners with voracious appetites. While we discuss running routes and racing stats, our empty plates begin to form embarrassingly high piles. With these friends, I dont feel judged when I finish four entrees and going back for seconds on Peachy Paterno. To conclude this long paragraph, Ill sum up weekend brunches in four words: waffles and ice cream.
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Stress eating, while not a new activity for me, has reached a much more impressive level in college. While studying for my first chem exam, I promised myself that if I actually focused for a few hours I could go ham at West. Whoever plans the menus must have been thinking of me that day, because they dreamed up garlic mashed potato pizza. What an incredible concept! Lets see how many carbs we can fit onto one piece of pizza, and then dangle it in front of some hungry, stressed out college student. Needless to say (although maybe there are some skeptics out there), the pizza was amazing! With that delicious combination of refined carbs and cheese, a delectable shrimp taco, two fabulous west cookies, a few pickles, and my favorite WPSU coffee break ice cream digesting happily in my tummy, I was able to study for a solid afternoon without needing a snack break.

Although stress and social eating claim notable roles in my dining habits, hungry-eating dominates my consumption activities. The all-you-can-eat concept is perfect for me, because I really never get fulljust consider me a human garbage disposal who still isnt heavy enough to donate blood. With all the miles I walk between classes, the kilometers I run for club cross country, and the fun classes at the white building, I constantly need to refuel. Doodles of cheeseburgers and sundaes appear on my math homework, and donuts appear in my econ notes. Of course, I dont only eat junk foodI love the salad bars, fresh fruit, and random healthy dishes with funny names. Ive also learned how to pronounce quinoa. (For those of you who havent been corrected yet, its keen-wah, not ki-noah). My only complaint is that the menus do not feature steak frequently enough for my taste.

In short, every meal at Penn State is a new adventure for me. Perhaps I should have chosen to focus my passion blog entirely on food, because I still have so much more to say! Yesterday I learned that I love portabella mushrooms, today I decided that I still hate red beets, and I have no idea what I may discover tomorrow. I encourage everyone to try a new food, dont rush through every meal, and remember how much better Pollock is than your high school cafeteria!

AROUND PENN STATE IN UNDER EIGHTY DAYS

O C TO B E R 1 2 , 2 0 1 2

If you havent noticed, then I apologize for forgetting that Penn State values equal opportunities and diversity. Thus, I should make this post more applicable to blind people. Anyway, I thought I would take you on a photo tour of some of my favorite places on and around campus. This tour is not exhaustive, nor am I a professional or even somewhat experienced photographer. Still, I hope that you enjoy these lovely sights as much as I do. I guess I should have waited until more leaves changed color, but Im just not that patient. On our first stop, we will visit Old Main. I often take detours to walk in front of this historic building and breathe in the collegiate atmosphere it exudes.

ou may have noticed by now that Penn State is pretty.

Going to the library will make you feel smarter even as your IQ remains steady. I personally like to find a different place to study every time I go because there are so many undiscovered corners and crevices. How awesome would it be to play hide-and-seek tag in here?

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We will now make a quick stop at West Commons, where you can find many picturesque benches on which to eat freshly-baked cookies.

While were on west campus, we must visit the golf course. I highly recommend this path for a leisurely 3.6 mile jog on a crisp fall daybut beware of golf cart drivers looking at the scenery instead of pedestrians.

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Next, lets get a little lost in the arboretum. Dont worryif you keep walking youll find your way out eventually. The myriad of trails that begin here provide superb adventure runs, nature walks, and bike rides.

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Does this building blow anyone elses mind? I would love to know how it stays up.

Finally, lets explore the east-campus wilderness. Take a long run to Innovation park and enjoy spectacular views of Mount Nittany and cows. When you can see Beaver Stadium again, you know youre not hopelessly lost.

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Since the Blog Nazis are telling me that Ive exceeded my upload limit and cant put up my last photo, I guess thats all folks. Please remember to take all of your belongings, and enjoy the rest of your stay here at Penn State.
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DO THE CAN-CAN!
O C TO B E R 5 , 2 0 1 2

f someone outside the bubble of Happy Valley asked you what you did this past weekend, and you told them canning, they might be a little confused. Perhaps, they would think you made jam, tomato preserves, or pickles. A more pessimistic person may think you spent the weekend firing people. Then again, anyone in this hemisphere probably would have seen the hordes of Penn State students fanning out all over PA and the surrounding states; they may have even dropped some money into a THON can. Penn State students have embraced Thon so enthusiastically that they have practically created a new word. Canning, like football games, is a shared experience among Penn State students that helps to unify a massive and diverse student body.

On Friday, I left with club cross-country for a race at Lehigh University. Then, on Saturday and Sunday, we canned in the Villanova and Boyertown areas. I was more nervous for canning than for running a racestanding on a street corner begging for money seems like a really shady thing to do. However, I grossly underestimated Thons ethos in eastern PA. With everyones matching signs, cans, and Penn State gear, we didnt look like sketchy beggars, but a legitimate mobilization of a well-known organization. In Villanova, almost every intersection was filled with dancing, yelling, can-waving Penn State students. The thousands of people who drove down Lancaster Avenue (most of them in Porsches, Escalades, Mercedes, or BMWs) could probably have donated ten times if they were fortunate enough to stop at every traffic light. Even in lesser-known Boyertown, we were pressed to find a free intersection.

I believe that much of THONs success is due to strength in numbers. The sheer amount of canners adds ethos to the operation, and also gives potential donors every opportunity to be guilted into giving. Moreover, I noticed that if one person rolls their window down, others begin to imitate. People are followers, and during long traffic lights, the rollingdown of windows seemed to spread exponentially as drivers think, if that person is giving, maybe I should too. The size of Penn States alumni base also helps rake in the dough. Penn State bumper stickers are stuck on about one in three cars in Villanova (more PSU than Nova stickers!). Sticker-wearing cars almost always donate, and oftentimes offer an encouraging you guys are doing something great; keep it up! These bits of praise warm even the most stoic canners heart and help keep the reasons for canning in perspective. Even with our impressive street presence, I was surprised by how many drivers actually throw money out their window at canning college students. If I wasnt familiar with Thon, I dont think thats something I would do; I would much prefer to mail a check to a reputable

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charitable organization. However, mailing a check takes time, proactivity, a stamp, and a walk to the mailbox. Canning accosts people at a red light where they have spare change handy and no excuse not to give. It is generosity of opportunity, but it is generosity all the same. You can see the wheels turning in some peoples heads as they think Im driving a $70,000 Porsche to buy my daily $4.00 Starbucks before heading out to engage in some other self-centered activity. Yeah, I guess I should give them a few bucks.

Im really glad that I participated in canning. Although I do love jams and jellies, raising money to help families pay for cancer treatment was significantly more fulfilling. As a smaller group not exclusively focused on Thon, club cross-country raised over $12,000 in two days, and Im sure groups like Apollo, Ohana, Atlas, and Springfield brought in even more. I have never been as proud to be a Penn State student as I was holding a can on a street corner last weekend. If you ever can can, (not Rockettes style) make sure you go! If you cant, there are tons of other opportunities to make history by getting involved in THON or a different service organization. WE ARE a proactive, enthusiastic, caring student body, and we still believe we can change the world.

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TRASH TALK
O C TO B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 2

wo events of the past few weeks have inspired me to write about a topic that most of you will find repulsive at worst, and boring at best. Alas, writers block and Chemistry 110H have squelched my creativity and left me lacking sleep and blog ideas. Therefore, tonight I will discuss the ever-popular theme of garbage. First of all, I must admit that I am by no means a tree-hugging, organic tofu-eating, recycling fanatic. While I willingly recycle when its convenient, I rarely go the extra mile (or twenty feet) to toss my mixed office paper into the proper receptacle (although after my recent experiences I may make more of an effort). Coincidentally, I helped to pick up trash in Beaver Stadium and visited a recycling plant within a matter of days. Now, I am a selfproclaimed garbage expert.

Most club sports at Penn State receive some sort of stipend from the university. You would think that this money would come from our hefty tuition bills or member dues, but I recently learned that clubs must earn their keep through the degrading task of stadiumcleaning. If youve ever left your pom-pom in a mess of spilled ketchup and smashed-up french fries after a football game and thought theres people who pick this stuff up, then youre right. In fact, at 6:45am the morning after the homecoming game, dozens of students descended upon the stadium in a cleaning frenzy. Club cross-country was fortunate enough to be assigned the dreaded student section. In short, I severely underestimated the grossness of stadium-cleaning. For almost five hours, we shoveled up food scraps, barbeque sauce-covered streamers, and ten million oneteam cups. I cant believe how many people bought $7.00 chicken fingers and didnt eat any of them! Also, pom-poms mixed with anything sticky are an absolute nightmare to clean up. After that experience, I am no longer thankful to the Blue and White Society for supplying the student section with pom-poms. Maybe if people needed to bring their own, they would be less inclined to tear them to shreds and throw them into spilled-soda and gum. At any rate, I will make sure to remove all my trash from the stadium after games, and I will try not to be a pig. I suggest that you do the same. My second trash event was a sustainability lunch and recycling-plant tour. I must disclose that I signed up for the lunch simply because I wanted free food. Sure, I think that eating local foods is great. I get a little upset when we get old, grainy apples from Chile in the dining halls when its apple season in Pennsylvania. But thats beside the point (which is about garbage, though I could talk about food all day). I managed to keep my mouth busy chewing in order to conceal my motives from people who really did have a passion for

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sustainability. The ensuing recycling tour was actually quite interesting. Did you know that every time you throw a piece of paper into the plastics-only receptacle, a real person goes through your trash and pulls out the contaminant? I also learned that only fortypercent of the food grown in America is eatena fact exemplified by the food waste in the stadium.

After my trash-related activities, I have a much more complete understanding of what happens to my garbage. I experienced the human element of trash processing, both in the stadium and recycling plant. If each person would put his or her own trash where it belongs, it would make life a lot easier for stadium-cleaners and recyclingsorters. Consequently, I will now think twice about where I chuck my pom-poms.

On our tour, we saw piles upon piles of sorted glass bottles, paper, plastic bags, aluminum cans, and plastic. The plant sells the recycling for more money than they would pay to ship it to a landfill. In fact, they make enough dough from this venture that soon they will hire additional workers to cut open trash bags and pull out recyclable items. Hopefully, this task doesnt become another club sport duty!

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MMMMMMMM

Topic Nummmmmero Uno:

Suppose, hypothetically, that there is a brokkken vending mmachine filled with tasty snackkks that will approach their expiration date in approximmmately three weekkkkkks. The fact that these highly processed, preservative-loaded foods are actually going to expire attests to the length of timme that theyve been in there. For a future mmmmmmmmechanical engineer, dislodging a few pop tarts frommmmmmmm a vending mmmachine poses no considerable difficulty. However, for someone who upholds aboveaverage moral standards,,, (goodness this kkkkkkkkkkeyboard has a lot of stickkkkkkkkkky kkeys)a small amount of guilt would accommpany the said dislodging. But one mmmmmmmust askkk: would it be mmore ethical to allow food go to waste,, or to relieve a tired old vending mmmmachine of a few snackks? Note: a workkkkkkkkkkkkkk order was filed for this particular contaption,, and mmaintance person signed off on the request. However, two weekks later, the thing still doesnt workkkkkkkkk. The vending mmachine mmmmmmmmmmmmmoral dillemmmma corresponds with another grey arearemmmmmmmmmmoving food fromm the dining halls. Its perfectly legal for a student to load their tray with food and throw it all away. Yet, loading ones pockkkkkkkkkkkkkkets with food to save for later is prohibited. If the dining halls are all you can eat,,,,,,, technically that student COULD eat the extra food if someone made himmm. Of course,,,, takkkkkkking food out of the dining halls is stealingisnt it? Its not likke were paying gobs of cash for our dining plans or anything

O C TO B E R 2 5 , 2 0 1 2

Anyway, I couldnt decide what to write about today, so Ill touch on three unrelated topics.

hy do I always seemm to choose the computer with the stickky mmmmm and kkkkkk?

El Segundo Temmmmmma:

I joined the baskkkkkketball pep band! Its really fun, we get free T-shirts,,,, and Ive already satisfied the 300-word requiremmmmment. El Tercer Tema: Get pummmped for a white-out on Saturday! Were currently trackkkkkkkkking two mmmodels. The first mmmmmmmmmodel forecasts Penn State dummmmping 28 points
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on Ohio with the Buckkkeyes accummmmmmmmmulating only 20. The second predicts a 20 to 17 point coating with a victory for Penn State. Watch out for icy glares from disgruntled Ohioans. Hopefully, by the end of the first quarter theyll look like this Iowa fan did last Saturday:

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HALLOWEDNESDAY
NOVEMBER 1, 2012

Fortunately, the population of students who wear costumes like these is a minority (I think) at Penn State. For those of us who dont want to let everything hang out, finding an outfit becomes more difficult. So what do you do an hour or two before a party, when youve given little or no thought to your costume? A little creativity and improvisation will go a long way. When I ran into this situation last Saturday, I averted panic and calmly considered my options. I couldnt bring myself to wear cat or bunny ears, and I dont own any seductive clothing that could accompany these said ears. Box-based costumes are too restrictive, as Ive learned from my past experiences as a dining room table and washing machine. Coordinated group costumes are always a big hitone year, my friends and I went trick-or-treating as Christmas carolers, prompting people to go back inside to bring us bigger chocolate bars. However, intense coordinating is pretty difficult to accomplish with only an hour to spare.

bout two years ago, I thought I would never have to come up with another Halloween costume. Apparently, I severely underestimated the intensity with which Penn State students celebrate this holiday. On the weekends bookending October 31st, showing up at any type of social gathering in a nonexistent or even half-hearted costume would classify you a sort of Scrooge or Grinch of Halloween. I always thought that girls dress pretty trashy on normal weekends, but Halloween gives everyone an excuse to wear even less clothing. If youre into that sort of thing, you should definitely go for some sort of leotard and stilettos, finished off with cat ears. The non-dress code-abiding Catholic schoolgirl is also a good option. For guys, any creative variation on underwear will suffice. Ive seen pillow-pet boxers, the Tarzan loincloth, or even girls undies.

Somehow, my brains algorithms of presenting and discarding costume ideas arrived at one brilliant(?) solutionI decided to be a pterodactyl! Yes, it is possible to turn some cardboard, a tablecloth, spray paint, and duct tape into something recognizable as a pterodactyl (or at least some kind of winged reptile) in an hour. However, if you want to attempt this challenge, I recommend using the spray paint outsidenot in your room. Of course, what numskull would do that anyway? (Probably the one who COULDNT go outside because she lost her ID card for the umpteenth time). Anyway, the costume actually turned out pretty well. Aside from the reduced visibility associated with a large dinosaur mask, it provided much more mobility than a washing machine with comparable originality. Mission accomplished!
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My favorite costumes of the night were probably not last-minute creations. I was especially impressed with a Calvin and Hobbes duo, dirty laundry, a blind old man (who I almost helped cross the street), and a Jamaican bobsledder. I wish that more people would take creative approaches like these instead of resorting to the overused sexy kitty costume. For the next Halloween-themed gathering, my friends and I have done some advanced planning. Were aiming for the surefire combination of punny and coordinatingwith literal representations of Creamery ice cream flavors. Peachy Paterno, WPSU Coffee Break, and Death by Chocolate will come to life in this next installment. In short, my first few months as a Penn State freshman have taught me that its fine to procrastinate on research papers, but not on Halloween costumes.

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THE BEST ARGUMENT AGAINST DEMOCRACY IS A FIVE-MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH THE AVERAGE VOTER.
NOVEMBER 8, 2012

BBC Africa Can Kenya Avoid Election Bloodshed? www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-19948429

I originally planned on blogging just about the election, but I realized that Im kind of electioned-out and I dont have anything that hasnt already be said. Basically, I realized that regardless of the outcome, America is pretty awesome and were not going off the deep-end anytime soon. People may complain about waiting in line to vote, but at least we dont have to fear for our lives when going to the polls. In the United States, we can choose a president overnight, relatively smoothly, and without bloodshed or revolt. Not everyone has this privilege, as we can see in these articles:
The Boston Globe Libyas election marred by violence www.bostonglobe.com/2012/07/07/libyans-cast-ballots-first-parliamentaryelection/nO9eM811ib6Yv6q3aYsOpN/story.html CNN Mourners honor victims of Iranian election violence

fter hearing quite a few people say that they didnt decide who to vote for until they got into the booth and just picked a candidate for the sake of voting, that quote from Winston Churchill seems quite accurate. Voting is a great privilege and I think that perhaps people should take it a little more seriously.

www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/meast/03/18/iran.protests.mourners/index.html

The violence surrounding elections in other nations makes our complaints about the voting process and results seem trivial. On Twitter, these complaints belong under the trend first world problems things we complain about that people living in a less developed country would just laugh at. Some other notable problems that we, first-world inhabitants, endure on a daily basis: I forgot I was watching a recorded show and watched all the commercials. #firstworldproblems

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Since this trend began, Ive found myself subconsciously hash-tagging my own grievances. For example I hate leaving the heated dining halls to walk back to my heated dorm room. #firstworldproblems I didnt get an I voted sticker because I mailed in an absentee ballot. #firstworldproblems My bathroom was being cleaned, so I had to walk an extra twenty feet to the other one. #firstworldproblems I have too many clothes to fit into my closet #firstworldproblems I burned my tongue on soup. #firstworldproblems I had to wait for fresh cookies at West because the last batch had already been sitting out for five minutes #firstworldproblems I have to wake up early to go get an education and prepare for a successful future. #firstworldproblems

I cant hear the TV over the sound of my own chewing. #firstworldproblems My microwave didnt automatically adjust itself for Daylight Savings Time. #firstworldproblems Rain. #firstworldproblems

Can anyone else relate? Privilege and opportunity are embedded in each of these complaintsfood, television, voting, plumbing, clothes, heat, and education are all items that we take for granted in America. Yet, instead of giving thanks for the tremendously high standard of living we have here, we find something to whine about (or maybe its just me). Nevertheless, I would take Romney, Obama, or even Donald Trump over Ghaddafi any day. Hooray for a successful representative democracy that still works after 224 years!

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THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

NOVEMBER 15, 2012

THEN

ess than a year ago, I confidently strode through my high schools hallways with the authority vested in every senior. Emmaus High School was a tiled bubble of wornout routines and lifelong friends, and I knew every nuance of the place. I came a long way in the four years since first entering its doorsIn September 2008, I was a clueless freshman struggling to find my way around a maze of misnumbered rooms and dead-end hallways. Four years later, history repeats itself. At least Penn State does a better job of organizing room numbers in a coherent fashion. In order to compare and contrast my freshman years at Penn State and Emmaus, I thought I would make a nice table: NOW

I did not own a cell phone. The Phillies won the World Series, and I could still publicly support the Eagles. I thought seniors were tall.

I can use my cell phone for texting, Facebook, Twitter, news, email, and exploring maps of foreign countries all during Econ 102. The Phillies didnt even make the playoffs, and Im going into hibernation as an Eagles fan.

I didnt know what the SAT test was or how to apply to college. Going to bed at 11:00 was a late night, waking up at 8:00 was sleeping in.

I think Penn State volleyball players are tall. I guess I figured it out! Going to bed before midnight is early, getting up at 8:00 is sooo difficult.

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I thought coffee tasted disgusting. I was scared to use passive voice. I spent my summer suffering through Great Expectations.

Im addicted.

No one seems to care if I use passive voice is were is is is was are are was are is is is is is haha English teachers! I spent my summer forgetting everything I learned in high school when I probably should have been trying to cure my senioritis.

I could shower without wearing shoes. I needed a hall pass to use the bathroom one of the most demeaning rules of high school. My education was funded entirely by taxpayers, and I had very little appreciation of this fact. School lunches were USUALLY identifiable. I thought that people standing on street corners waving cans and begging for money were a little strange.

Shower drains are clogged with strange hair that doesnt share genes with mine. I walk wherever I want, whenever I want, and no overzealous hall monitors care where Im going.

I have to pay a few hundred pairs of shoes, or a few thousand ice cream cones, or a few dozen trips to Disney World worth of dough to come here. West cookies!! (yes, they do seem to appear in every blog post) I am one of those loonies.

I wonder how this list will look four years from nowIf the time goes as fast as it did in high school, Ill know soon enough. Hopefully it will not include anything related to jail or my parents basement or weighs 500 pounds from eating West cookies, or even homeless person impersonating THON canners to get money. I guess well just have to wait and see
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GOING CLUBBING
NOVEMBER 30, 2012

or most freshmen, the selection of clubs and activities at Penn State is completely overwhelming. With 840 student organizations to join, how does one decide what to do with his or her precious spare time? The accumulation of listserv emails in my inbox is a testament to my inherent desire to do everything. In high school, this was more or less possibleI could go from school to cross country to work to band to church, and still do homework and sleep occasionally. Here, it is simply impossible to try every club, or even three percent of them. Even by eliminating anything related to singing, playing volleyball, or other skills that I lack, Ive found that I still cant do it all. But I can try. I dont want to spread myself too thin, but everyone says college is best time to try something new. I enjoyed my club cross country season, going to church with ACF, and being involved in Thon with Apollo. However, Im always bothered by the amount of activities that I havent tried. So, I joined basketball pep band. And I applied for a position for the Schreyer day of service. And Ive been going to crew practices. And I should probably join some kind of major-specific academic society. When is it enough? I personally hate when I cant be fully committed to something, whether its my schoolwork, a club, or a sport. On the other hand, Im afraid I will regret not trying something in my short four years here. The problem is that Ive loved everything I tried so far. Playing trombone in the basketball pep band is incredibly funits crazy and fastpaced and I get to see all the home basketball games for free! Crew is a completely new experience for me, but thats fine because its new for most people in the club. Im learning technique, making new friends, improving my pathetic upper-body strength, and enjoying erg therapy. The 6:15am practices deterred me from joining at the beginning of the year. However, after some peer pressure I tried it out and realized that getting up earlier actually keeps me focused my early classes. The Schreyer Day of Service isnt a huge commitment, but I want to make sure Im doing my part in contacting potential service locations and organizing the day. I guess that I will continue to be as involved as possible unless my commitment to one activity interferes with my commitment to another. Being busy forces me to make good use of my time and breaks up the monotony of class and studying. My schedule is pretty full now, but I wonder if I could fit in Humans vs. Zombies or the Clown Nose Club

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GLAD TO BE BACK!
JANUARY 17, 2013

After a tough week of finals, Im sure we can all agree that we were looking forward to a nice relaxing Christmas break at home. I know I couldnt wait to sleep in my own room and enjoy a freezer full of ice cream. Oh wait Oh well. Since I left for college, my sister took my room, and my mom stopped buying ice cream. At first I was a little bitter about our short break, but after two weeks I definitely felt sorry for some of my friends who are still stuck in the 610. While being home has some benefits, the time away from Penn State made me remember all the reasons why I wanted to leave and to college in the first place. The break (mostly because I was so bored) led me to reflect on my life here in Happy Valley versus my life back in the Lehigh Valley. Ive compiled some comparisons below: Home Penn State

Parties

Happy 95th Great Grammy!

Study party!** (yep, thats right Mom and Dad)

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Shower

Fridge

Spick and span, squeaky clean; thanks Mom!

I cant complainthe water pressure is terrific.

In spite of our reduced ice cream supply, no one is starving in my house.

Just the staples: milk, Redbull, and mustard.

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My Neighbors Backyard

Me Creeping on People Driving Nice Cars

Classy. (Yesthats the remnants of last nights beer pong, and a lovely decorative speed limit sign).

Classy for real!

Transporta tion

White Lambo, 1:00 en route to family vacation.

Yellow Lambo, 12:00 in vicinity of Eisenhower Auditorium, but is it real or just a kit car?

My 1960 Triumph TR3! (just kidding. Try a 1999 Honda Accord shared with my family. Happy 150,000 miles!)

Schlepping it.
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Football

On TVat least we have HD now.

Beaver Stadiumconsistently trumps high definition TV, even with overpriced food and freezing cold weather.

My time away from home has helped me appreciate home-cooked meals, clean showers, and having a car to drive. However, its a small price to pay to be here at Penn State!

Note: Has anyone else noticed that life at home and at college is like two parallel universes? When you go home, nothing has changed. When you go back to college, its like you never left. Weird **Disclaimer: we do not have sufficient supporting evidence to conclude that study-parties are a common type of Friday night social gathering at Penn State.

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IM NOT A POET AND I KNOW IT.

JANUARY 24, 2013

Since I couldnt come up with anything earth-shattering to blog about this week, I decided to feign creativity by writing a poem. About what? Whatever rhymes, I guess. Of course, it will be in iambic pentameter because Im certainly no free spirit. Not-Quite-a-Sonnet No.1 The day could not come soon enough last year I could not stand my high school anymore. A bathroom pass I had to bring with me Merely to step outside my classroom door.

But still I slaved through AP tests galore. Alas, the day arrived and I was free! So worthless seemed the grades from my exams And thus began the college shopping spree. Oh how the summer days did seem so long Whilst working, wishing, waiting for Penn State. At least I turned eighteen and was allowed To drive at night so I could stay out late. And yet I yearned for Berkey ice cream cones And football games from student section seats But I forgot Im at Penn State to learn, Not just to go to football games and eat. Most people told me college would be tough; Id work and work and never get much sleep. At first I didnt trust that it was true But homework piled up ten miles deep. I wait to blog until late Thursday night And realize that I dont have much to say. But since my parents always read my posts, My work must be exquisite anyway.

But all the toils worth it, thats for sure. For theres no school where I would rather be.

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Cornell and Penn can boast of Ivy Leagues Their high-strung titles never were for me.

My Nittany Lion surely can surpass A Quaker, Mountain hawk, or Big Red bear. He throws down one-hand push-ups on the field As though he were composed of only air. Despite the winter days devoid of sun And violent, fearless squirrels the size of whales I know my eight semesters at Penn State Will have robust economies of scale.

.My apologies. I will write something less painful next week. Also, props to Shakespeare! Its hard to write thirty six lines of bad poetry in iambic pentameter, let alone 154 sonnets and gazillions of highly acclaimed plays.

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IF ALL THE RAINDROPS WERE LEMON DROPS AND GUMDROPS

JANUARY 31, 2013

The last couple weeks of weather in State College have not exactly been conducive to anything thats alive, especially runners who cannot last more than fifteen minutes on a treadmill.

It all began with those single-digit highs and negative wind chills last weekthe kind of weather that isnt just cold but actually hurtsthe kind that invites dreams of dreams of hot chili, that Sahara, and footie pajamas. Usually when we have cold weather, I just look at the forecast for Fairbanks, Alaska to make myself feel better. However, on Tuesday we actually had the same negative four degree wind chill. I considered heading to the gym or holing up in my sauna-like dorm, but habit led me to throw on some extra layers and head outside anyway. Needless to say, all those little cilia in my nose worked extra hard to heat and moisten eight-degree air before sending an icy surprise down to my lungs. On the plus side, I didnt get gross and sweaty.

The fluffy white snow didnt last long before it was attacked by ice and freezing rain. This type of nasty weather has no redeeming qualities since it isnt pretty and it didnt cancel classes. Yet again, I decided to do battle with nature and brave the hostile outdoors. That probably wasnt my smartest movethe sidewalks were just a wee little bit icy. I ended up getting Simon and Garfunkels Slip Sliding Away stuck in my head, except I dont know all the words so I had to repeat the same few lines over and over for five miles. To make matters worse, a soupy thick fog covered all my landmarks, so I got a bit disoriented and ended up running circles in an unknown parking lot for a while. Alas! Tuesday brought some relief from the cold. Temperatures soared oddly into the sixties, but unfortunately the front brought ceaseless rain and gross mugginess. I finished the run completely soaked with my hair in a crazed poof reminiscent of my fifth grade fro. My hair isnt a fan of humidity; it became so matted in the back that I couldnt get the

After the arctic cold front came some really lovely snow. Snow is terrific for building stuff, sledding, looking at, eating, and throwing at people, but terrible for running. Youd think I would know that by now, but I headed out to club XC practice anyway where they came to the conclusion that running would be impossible without snowshoes, which I dont actually own. (This decision came from some crazies who actually ran up Mount Nittany during Hurricane Sandy.) So, I jogged/stumbled/slid back home and got in an impromptu hill workout from tray-sledding.

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hair tie out without half a bottle of conditioner and some not-so-gentle ripping. At least I didnt have to worry about my appendages freezing off!

Today was a different story. Although the day began with sunny skies, ridiculously intense freezing cold gusty winds quickly overtook campus. I dont think I have ever fought to run against such strong winds. I may have actually been standing still or moving backwards despite my sneaky efforts to draft off other people . Regrettably, I forgot to bring my ear warmer to practice, and I dont expect my eardrums to come out of permafrost until midspring. I have no idea what possessed me to run in such bad weather this week; I skip runs all the time for much sillier reasons. Anyway, now Ill be extra thankful when we return to the cloudy mid-thirties. Hooray for spring semester!

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HOW TO LOSE A KEY IN 10 WAYS

FEBRUARY 7, 2013

This week, I began to mull over the time and energy that I use trying to find things Ive lost or forgotten. The amount of hours I spend locating missing items is decidedly above averagemaybe even in that three standard deviations 0.1% range. My phone, ID, key, shoes, books, sweatshirts, pencils, water bottles, gloves, and socks constantly disappear. Why do these things always seem to happen to me? Perhaps that subconscious part of the brain thats supposed to remind me to pick up my stuff when I leave is permanently on vacation. Perhaps Im just too busy thinking about more important thingslike what Im going to eat for lunch. Unfortunately, its hard to buy lunch when I cant find my Penn State ID card. Below, Ive listed my most time consuming, stress inducing forgetfulness incidents from the last few months: 1. In early September, I lose my key for two days. It reappears in bottom of washer after doing laundry. I purchase a lanyard. 2. Lanyard with key and ID disappear between Pollock dining hall and Atherton. Just when I think I will have to replace my locks, I get an email that my stuff is at Simmons commons desk. I buy shoes instead. Magically! Poof! They vanish into thin air!

3. Night of homecoming parade, I get back to Atherton and cant find ID and key. I retrace my steps from the where we watched the parade to Pita Pit (where I search through some trash) to Kiwi back to Atherton and I cant find it. It turns out that my friend took it as a joke and forgot to give it back. Im probably not the best person to play that sort of trick on 5. Friday night before Ohio State game, I take my newly found ID to McLanahans. It magically disappears. I retrace all my steps and dont find it. Saturday morning I have to buy a new one so I can get into the game. Lesson learned? Nope. 6. Night of the Schreyer formal, I put my key and ID into my purse so I DONT LOSE THEM. My strategy fails. I get back to my room and my key has once again magically disappeared out of my purse. I run back to Hammond where cleanup

4. Friday night before Ohio State Game, I realize that I dont have my ID. I deduce that I left it in West dining hall. The dishwashing people find it for me. Yay!

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8. Late January, I walk to Redifer for brunch, cant find my ID, walk back to Atherton, piggyback inside, search my room, panic, finally realize was in pocket the whole time.

7. Mid December, key falls off of my lanyardnot even my fault!! For a week, I borrow replacement keys from Simmons and check my email obsessively to see if mine turns up. It doesnt. I have to replace the lock. Guess I shouldnt have bought those shoes

crew remembers someone found a key on the floor. Wild goose chase ensues to identify and locate finder of key. Key is returned.

9. Last week: I leave West and walk back to Atherton. I empty my entire backpack looking for lanyard, which of course has vanished. I walk all the way back to West and after searching the dining hall, bathroom, and study lounge, I find it at the commons desk. I walk all the way back to Atherton. At least I unwittingly got an extra mile of exercise

As you can see, I have a slight problem. Once and a while, I get a bit distracted and lose stuff. My mom has called me the absent minded professor. My preschool teacher coined the phrase going to Lydia Land. Whatever you may call it, I am open to suggestions on how I might curb my forgetfulness. Please! Help!

10. Same day: I go to rec hall gym and leave my warm clothes in a locker. I forget locker number. I systematically enter my combo into (no joke) every single locker. None of them open; guess I forgot my combo too. I run back to Atherton (1/2 mile) in shorts and a T-shirt in fifteen degree weather. I go back to rec hall four times and am directed to various rooms that dont exist before finally collecting my things from room 202 today.

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FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE

FEBRUARY 14, 2013

After thirteen and a half years of brain hurting, headache bringing, stress inducing years of school, how many of us can really say that we love learning? Most of the time, I would have to say that Id rather watch some mindless cat videos and give my poor brain a break. However, every once and a while, I get excited about something Ive learned: triple integrals, induced electric and magnetic fields, comparative advantage, and I before E except after C. In biology this semester (a class I didnt really want to take), I have been completely flabbergasted by pretty much everything!

To startthe nervous system = wow. When youre busy memorizing words like acetylcholine, myelencephalon, and oliogdendrocytes, you may lose a genuine appreciation for the amazing complexity of how the body works. Every time you move a muscle, blink, or breathe, teeny tiny sodium ions are rushing into your nervous cells (neurons). When the voltage difference inside gets to a certain point (action potential), wee little gates let some potassium ions out of the cell to restore the resting potential. All the charged sodium ions cause voltage-gated channels to open, which cause adjacent channels to open, which propagates an electric signal down a neurons tail (axons). Other complicated stuff happens. These signals go to and from the brain and are integrated into actual movement and thought. Now, think of how many times that process occurred while you were reading one paragraph. It happens so fast! Your eyes are moving, youre reading, you breathed Dont think about it too much; youll go crazy. A neuron can send an impulse a thousand times per second. You have about 100 billion neurons. It just happened. It happened again! So how does the movement of elementally simply ions cause something as complicated as hearing? First, sound waves cause little hair cells in your inner ears to bend. This vibration cause channels to open and stuff happens and the movement is converted into action potential. When the electrical impulse reaches the brain, it miraculously integrates the signal into something that you hear as sound. And not only can you hear it, but you can tell where it comes from, how loud, what pitch, etc. You can process something as complicated as J-Biebs or Mozart. You can even hear and understand a biology lecture on how hearing works. (Do your brain a favor and dont think about that one too much either.)
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Pretty amazing, isnt it?

The way that the eyes work is even more complicated. I dont want to bore you with the details, so just consider that fact that as youre reading, your retina cells are absorbing light and sending impulses to your brain which will process color, focus on letters, and integrate everything into the words that make sense. (Warning: It may hurt your brain to try to fathom how its possible that youre reading while youre actually reading!) From the tiny molecules that decide what can enter and leave your cells to the steady beating of the heart, everything in the body is interconnected. With so many moving parts, its a miracle that you function at all. It scares me to think about how many things could go wrong at any given point! Consider the billions of processes that have to go exactly right to do something as simple as brushing your teeth. We are made of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and a few trace elements. We practice philosophy and football. We digest ice cream and literature.

Im not so sure I can believe that humans randomly grew out of space dust.

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WE THON SO EVERY CUB CAN GROW UP TO BE A NITTANY LION.

FEBRRUARY 18, 2013

So obviously, I have to write about THON for this one. While I simply cannot convey the entire crazy, exhausting, emotional weekend in one post, Ill try my best.

It took a trip to the Hershey Medical Center for me to realize what THON means outside of Penn State. I talked to families who receive supportboth financial and emotional from the Four Diamonds Fund. I talked with ordinary families, people just like my mom, dad, and sister, who had their lives shattered when they learned that their child had cancer. Right now, thats some of the worst news any parent can hear, but we hope advancements in cancer research will make this diagnosis less devastating. The help these families receive from the Four Diamonds Fund allows them to focus only on getting their

When I first came to Penn State, I didnt really understand THON but I wanted to get involved because its kind of a big deal. I joined special interest org Apollo, did some canning, and began to understand what the event means to Penn Statehow its not just one weekend, but an entire year of effort.

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child better and not on bills or logistics. We also saw the new childrens hospital that THON helped to build, and the laboratories where THON funds research. Those tangible results convinced me (I can be pretty skeptical) that THON isnt just a big publicity stunt or dance party. Its actually making a huge difference for kids and parents fighting through dark timesnot only in providing hope, but in providing results. Theres no way I can really communicate the importance of the Four Diamonds Fund; you really have to experience it for yourself. I suppose its also helpful for Four Diamonds families to know that over fifteen thousand students are supporting them at Penn State! My THON weekend was kind of a blur, but it went something like this: On Friday, I waited outside the BJC for four hours with my organization. The dancers stood at six, we learned the line dance, and I lost my voice by eight. My hair still looked nice and everyone still smelled fairly clean. Since I had a floor pass for 4:30am, I went back home at midnight to get three hours of sleep. Being on the floor was pretty incredible. I did the line dance right next to the stage, and saw the Harry Potter themed dancer storage area. Of course, at this point we were only a quarter of the way done and everything was still a walk in the park. Around noon, I went home to nap for an hour. When I woke up, I checked Twitter and saw that the BJC was at capacity! I called my Apollo comrades; we rushed back, waited in the cold for two hours, and finally got in! There was no way we were leaving again before the end.

Although, we missed Jay Paternos speech and two marriage proposals while we waited, the pep rally made up for that with some great dances by PSU sports teams and speeches from coaches. Mens Swim Team Dance = a must see (especially from 1:12 until the end)! Giant inflatable whales and dinosaurs, Jim Gardner, Bon Jovi, hundreds of balloons, the wave, storm troopers, and synchronized dances kept us entertained. Eventually, I got the sleepy ha hasjust about anything would make me lose it and laugh uncontrollably.

What many people dont realize about THON is that committee members and people in the stands dont get much more sleep that the dancers, nor do they sit down. We arent there for kicks, but to support our dancers and Four Diamonds families. The going got tough at the twelve hour mark, but dancing like maniacs helped us convince ourselves that we were still awake and our legs didnt hurt. Plus, standing for twenty six or even forty six hours doesnt compare to enduring chemo and radiation. Note: around 3am Sunday morning, a few people really started to need a fresh layer of deodorant, clean socks, or a shower. Then, the Final Four Hours finally arrived! B.O.B was great even though he gave away the time. We were all inspired by four kids, including Emily Whitehead, who won their battles

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with cancer. We celebrated the life of one baby who didnt. Most people were in tears as we watched the Four Diamonds Angels montage which celebrated lives tragically shortened by cancer. Our THON family, the Mummerts, encouraged our dancers to stick out those last hours. Six year old Noah, who is currently in remission, sported a neon afro wig and received piggy back rides on the dance floor. The kids and families brought so much emotion sorrow, loss, pain, and hope. They reminded us why we dance.

We danced our hearts out for the last hour. I have never witnessed such incredible energy, which is completely amazing because anyone in the BJC at that time had been awake and standing up for close to twenty four hours, and the dancers were pulling through their forty sixth. THON truly was the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed, and any way I try to describe it seems clich and insufficient. Zombie nation, Harlem Shake, and the final line dance made the BJC shake. The total reveal meant so much more than bragging rights for any one organization; we genuinely wanted it to cure every child out there suffering from cancer. Down to the last $0.46, the total will make a difference. $12,374,034.46 for the kids! For Penn State students, THON is even bigger than football and unites us like nothing else. Its more than 46 hours and more than 100 million dollars; just ask a Four Diamonds child. And thus THON 2013 came to a close. My heart smiled, and my legs were like please elevate us and take some Advil, so I slept for 15 hours. Congrats dancers, supporters, donors, and Four Diamonds families! This is what WE ARE!

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NOT A HOARDER
MARCH 1, 2013

As I did laundry yesterday, I folded two pairs of jeans, a bunch of socks, and about twenty five T-shirts. Yes, I own a huge amount of T-shirts, and I wear them way too often. I really should dress up more, but nothing can compare to the versatile comfort of a shapeless cotton shirt. With my extensive collection, I can find one that suits any mood and matches any pants and/or shoes.

When I was packing up for college, I faced a dilemma: I couldnt bring all of my sixty-two Tshirts to Penn State with me! (Sixty-two is actually not an exaggerationI counted them.) I considered giving some away, but I simply couldnt part with them. I dont think Im a hoarder (but I could be in denial); Each shirt represents a memorya race, vacation, missions trip, club, team, etc almost like a microcosm of my life.

The collection circa August, 2012

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Some of my favorite shirts are from my best races. They are reminders of hard-fought, painful victoriesmy cross-country team winning states, Nike Northeast Regionals, a personal record at Lehigh, and running a leg of the 4800 at track states. Most of my shirts are from high school track and cross-country, and each one brings back memories of a specific year and my friends on the team. Many of those races are long forgotten and most of my teammates have graduated and moved away, but the shirts still remain as a functional token of the past. Another favorite is shirt I got when we accidentally visited the original Chick-fil-a in Georgia. My various attempts at tie-dying are well documented, as are my beloved and often very frustrating Phillies.

I have shirts from the past eight years of my churchs day camp one of my favorite summer pastimes as a little camper, and now as a staff member. I have the shirts from my 6th grade class volleyball team, and a life-changing missions trip to Mexico.

Despite my attachment to my wonderfully washed-off T-shirts, I recognized that it was time to give some of them up and move on into my new college life. If nothing else, I knew I wouldnt have room to store all sixty-two of them. But I just couldnt get rid of my shirts! (Maybe I am a hoarder.) So, my amazing grandma made them into a quilt. Now, I have all my T-shirt memories and my grandmas loving handiwork sewn into one priceless package.

However, a half-empty T-shirt drawer doesnt last long around me. With all that extra space, Ive begun compiling a freshly folded stack of Penn State memories. Now I have reminders of being in the S-zone, my first Thon, playing in the basketball pep band, and running for Penn State club XC. I will do almost anything to get a free T-shirt. At my current rate of shirt accrual, I may need a few more quilts by the time I graduate, or maybe someday Ill just use them carpet my house.

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The Penn State Collection (in progress)

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THE BEST WAY TO FINISH AN UNPLEASANT TASK IS TO GET STARTED.

MARCH 28, 2013

With all this spare time we have as college students, Im sure youre constantly looking for ways to be less productive and increase your slacking abilities. Never fear! The twentyfirst century has brought an infinite array of ways to avoid doing work. Here are a few of my favorite time sinks, both classic and cutting-edge. 1) On a daily a basis, my inbox is bombarded by newsletters from SHC Announcements, Monday Minutes, The College of Engineering, and SHC Career Development. When Ireally really need something to do, Ill actually read them. Even better: go to all the events promoted in these newsletters. Youll never have free time again. 2) can get wild! Snapchat can eat up pretty much time if youre snapchatting with a bunch of friends at once. You dont want to be rude and not respond to someone, so the conversation can go indefinitely. Tip: dont snapchat in public unless youre really stealthy. You look like this: Snapchat Reading entire email newsletters.

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3)

Most of my homework starts out as actual physics problems, but gradually morphs into buildings, bubble letters, puppies, Narnia, etc. Why not hone your mad art skillz while wasting time? Doodling during class actually keeps me from zoning out, and it even looks like Im taking notes. Win! 4) Find a friends profile and go back to their photos and statuses from 2008. Like and comment on their most embarrassing stuff so it shows up fresh in everyones news feed. Note: the person must be a really good friend or else its just creepy. For example: Intense Facebooking

Doodling

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You are about to start doing homework. You open your book. But wait! Are you hungry? Maybe not, but you should probably get a snack just in casepreferably one that requires you to get up and walk somewhere far away and waste another twenty minutes or so. You could even try a microwave recipe! I recently attempted oatmeal cookies. They turned out terribly, but at least they used up a good half hour that I would have spent slaving away on my persuasive essay. 6) Go when youre hungry, and dont bring a list. Ponder the pros and cons of every brand of peanut butter. Before buying cereal, carefully consider the nutrition facts, expiration date, ingredients list, and unit price. Walk through every aisle to make sure that you dont forget to buy something you didnt know you needed. If you especially need to procrastinate, go on an excursion to Trader Joes. 7) Its amazing how much time it takes to go to all your classes! Whether youre there mentally or just physically, studies show that each class you attend brings you fifty minutes closer to death. Hopefully these ideas have helped you vaporize free time and prolong the inevitable! If not, you should probably just do your work. Go to Class Grocery Shopping

5)

Eating

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JUST NUKE IT
APRIL 4, 2013

I dont know whether to fear or laugh at Kim Jong Uns latest threatsblowing the United States or any other country to smithereens seems like a pretty impractical idea, but then again I would definitely not define North Korea as practical.

North Korea has always fascinated and disgusted me. How can a people be so oppressed that they believe that their former leader, Kim Jon Il, shot 38 under par with 5 holes in one his first time playing golf? According to government propaganda, he also invented the hamburger. Kim Jong Un certainly has a tough act to follow. Maybe that explains all this silliness, but I cant imagine why he wouldnt just make up stories about blowing up the evil Americans instead of actually threatening us and other world powers. Since I cant do much to prevent nuclear annihilation, Id rather approach this whole mess in a lets just *nervously* laugh it off sort of manner. Lets just start things off with some Kim Jong Un fat jokes:

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The Twittersphere also had some pretty good K.J. Un posts If Kim Jong-Un wants to nuke someone, can I suggest he starts with his hairdresser. Jeremy Clarkson (@JeremyClarkson) April 4, 2013

I liked Kim Jong-un better when he sang Gangnam Style. Fill Werrell (@FillWerrell) April 5, 2013

Kim Jong Un. RT @meglovescows What should I name my hamster?#octms Owl City (@owlcity) April 4, 2013

I knew I recognised Kim Jong Un from somewheretwitter.com/J4CKMULL/statu Jack Mulligan (@J4CKMULL) April 4, 2013

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Kim Jong-un threatening to nuke us before the Final Four? And he calls himself a basketball fan. LostLettermen.com (@LostLettermen) April 4, 2013

I guess well need more than Dennis Rodman to make him happy this timemaybe Lebron could do the trick. Anyway, I think this is how most of us see Kim Jong Uns threats. Hopefully were right:

Finally, one of my favorite photos:

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North Korea vs. South Korea at night. A pictures really is worth a thousand words. How much longer can the people of North Korea remain ignorant and/or powerless to stop such a tyrannical ruler? For all the humor, there are still innocent citizens starving at the hands of a power-hungry dictator.

I hope that these tensions provide an impetus for some major changes in North Korea, and I hope no one gets blown up in the process. Unfortunately, the revolutions of history do not suggest that a shift of power will be all rainbows and butterflies.

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