EDR 519 Fall 13 Methods Unit Part A An Insiders Experience An African American Experience A. Lorde, A. (1982).

Zami: a new spelling of my name. New York, New York: Crossing Press.

B. I do feel Lordes book is authentic. The first reason I feel the book is authentic is because Lorde is part of the group she is writing about. As Fang, Fu, and Lamme explain the most authentic literature comes from authors within the cultural group. They write One challenge confronting writers who present a culture of which they are not a part is the difficulty of dealing with dialects and cultural authenticity (Fu, Fang, Lamme, 1993 p. 285). Lorde is an African American woman who is writing about the challenges faced in her life in this autobiography. The dominant discourse Lorde identifies with is the African American discourse. This means Lordes constructedidentity kit and ways of saying-writing-doing-beingvaluing-believing (Delpit 1998, p. 285) have all been developed and cultivated within the African American discourse. Because she is living the experience of the African American discourse first hand we know as readers we are getting an authentic account. Readers can be confident her writing is not represented by others (i.e., the dominant culture) who imitate and simulate their cultural voices (Fan, Fu, Lamme, 1993, p. 285). Another reason I feel this books is authentic is because Lorde encourages her readers to see things from her perspective in addition to their own. She wants readers to imagine standing in the shoes of others-to understand experience and text from our own perspectives and the viewpoints of others and to consider these various perspectives concurrently (Lewison, Flint, & Sluys, 2002, p. 383). Lorde accomplishes this in a few ways. First, since this book is a biography it discusses typical milestones many of us face in our lives such as the first day of school, living independently for the first time, applying to school, and getting a first job. These events are things most readers can relate to but Lorde allows us to experience them from her point of view in her writing. For example job hunting is something many readers can relate to but job hunting as an African American woman in post war America was a unique experience many readers probably have not experienced. Something else that is unique in Lordes book is that she provides multiple viewpoints within her own book. Readers will have the opportunity consider the viewpoints of African Americans, women, and homosexuals, as these are all parts of Lordes identity. Lastly I feel this book is authentic and accurate because Lorde discusses major historical events and what they meant for her as an African American. Wong discusses how this adds to text authenticity saying Historical and informational value- key information to aspects of the (African/ Asian/ European ) American experience. A great example is when Lorde writes about the desegregation of schools telling readers I clutched the Saturday paper and read it againit all felt monumental and confusingthis casecould alter the whole racial climate in the statesNow something might actually changeThe court decision in the paper in my hand felt like a private promise, some message of vindication particular to meFor me this decision felt like a promise of some kind that I half-believed in, in spite of myself, a possible vindication
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(Lorde, 1982, p. 173). As a reader, I was aware of this event in our history but never had a chance to experience from an older African Americans perspective. Lordes recalling of that day helped me readjust what I know about desegregation and see what it actually felt like for minorities in our country. This happens throughout Lordes book as her personal experiences are accented by historical events of the time such as World War II and the McCarty era in addition to desegregation. Gaining new insight on these historic events from a different perspective adds to the authenticity of the book. C. Exclusion, Alienation, Oppression C1. There were stores into which Black people were not welcomed, and no Black salespersons worked in the shops at all. Where our money was taken, it was taken with reluctance; and often too much was askedTensions on the street were high, as they always are in racially mixed zones of transition. As a very little girl, I remember shrinking from a particular sound, hoarsely sharp, guttural rasp, because it often meant a nasty glob of grey spittle upon my coat or shoe an instant later. My mother wiped it off with the little pieces of newspaper she always carried in her purse. (Lorde, 1982, p. 17). This was the first intense and extreme example of racism Lorde shared with her readers which is probably why it was one of the passages that affected me the most. What is striking about this passage is how Lorde starts of describing the memory in a very matter-of-fact way and then readers are almost punched in the gut with words like hoarsely, sharp, guttural, rasp, nasty, glob, and spittle. This abrupt disruption in the writing helps readers feel a small sense of Lorde must have been feeling; like this attack was unexpected and coming out of nowhere. This passage helped me get a better understanding of oppression of the time and the discourse Lordes family identified with. This event took place in the late 1930s a time when America was still segregated and this type of outright disrespect was accepted and only furthered the oppression of minority groups. Additionally, we see in the passage Lordes mother only wiped the spit off her coat rather than addressing what had happened. This shows me the discourse Lordes family identified with (African American first generation immigrants) did not feel they had power in this situation. They recognized the dominant discourse at the time was whites and they held the power. In order for their family to survive they just had to take it. I surmise many discourses have felt this way in relation to the dominant discourse. C2. Two weeks after we moved into the new apartment, our landlord hanged himself in the basement. The Daily News reported that the suicide was caused by his despondency over the fact the he finally had to rent to Negroes. I was the first Black student in St. Catherines School, and all the white kids, in my sixth grade class knew about the landlord who had hanged himself in the basement because of me and my family. He had been Jewish; I was black. That made us both fair game for the cruel curiosity of my pre-adolescent classmates. (Lorde, 1982, p. 59) This passage packs two examples of alienation. First we see how Lordes family is the only black family living in the apartment building. Second Lorde was the first Black student in St. Catherines School. Readers see how something like going to a new school was different for Lorde given her discourse. Lordes decision to include this anecdote in her book was important because it was one of those times she allowed readers to relate to a very common experience but
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see it in a different perspective. Readers can also relate to being left out our bullied but how many readers can relate to being left out for reasons such as Lordes? I found myself trying to imagine living in a place or going to school in a place where no one looked like me or held the same beliefs as me. I found it difficult because I have always been in the majority in my life. Again in this passage we see how Lorde writes in a matter of act way. It makes readers wonder if by this point in her life if Lorde had come to accept this type of alienation as normal, especially since she spent most of her time going to primarily white schools. C3. Corded and crisp and pinafored, the five of us seated ourselves one by one at the counterWe settled ourselves along the white mottled marble counter, and when the waitress spoke at first no one understood what she was saying, and so the five of us just sat there. The waitress moved along the line of us closer to my father and spoke again. I said I kin give you take out, but you cant eat here. Sorry. The she dropped her eyes looking embarrassed, and suddenly we heard what she was saying all at the same time, loud and clear. Straight-backed and indignantmy family and I got down from the counter stools and turned around and marched out of the store, quiet and outraged, as if we had never been black beforeMy parents wouldnt speak of this injusticebecause they felt they should have anticipated and avoided it. This made me angrierThe waitress was white, the counter was white, and the ice cream I never ate in Washington, DC that summer I left childhood was white, and the white heat and the white pavement and the white stone monuments of my first Washington summer made me sick to my stomach for the whole rest of that trip (Lorde, 1982, p. 70-71) Lorde reaches a turning point at this point of the book. This is the first time she clearly sees racism in her life. She realizes at this point her parents have been trying to shield her from the ignorance and cruelty associated with racism. I questioned why they chose to shield their children from the truths of racism at the time and be passive in this situation. I wondered if they were doing their children a disservice or hoping life would be better for their children so they wouldnt have to know racism. Lordes parents, although black, were voluntary minorities, and came to America on their own freewill. I imagine her parents discourse, immigrant discourse, had a hopeful view of the future and felt they just needed to teach their children how to survive in life. You can tell in how Lorde describes the situation she finally sees the division between white and Black in our country. She drives this point home as she repeats the word white over and over again in the last sentence. Its almost like word is a little explosion every time it is used in the sentence and with each tiny explosion you can feel Lordes resentment growing. The way Lorde describes the situation helps readers feel the emotion of the family as a whole, Lorde herself, and her parents. Words like embarrassed, indignant, quiet, outraged, angrier, sick, avoided, help readers sense the range of emotions the family experienced at this time. D. There are a few questions and concerns I have now that I am finished the book. To begin, I feel the beginning of the book spoke a lot about Lordes struggles growing up black and the rest of the book was her finding herself as a gay woman in the 50s. This was an interesting topic but I wish I could have read more about her struggles during such a turbulent time for race in our country. Race seemed to be on the back burner for a lot of the second half of the story as her struggle to come to peace with her sexuality and her life decisions was the main focus.
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Lorde wrote very clearly about racism when she did address it in her book and I do not think I misunderstood anything in regards race in this book. However I do feel I may have misunderstood the impact McCarthyism had on race relations in the fifties. McCarthyism is a theme that runs throughout the second part of the book. Lorde often talks about McCarthyism but does not clearly show how it relates to race. This is related to my lack of understanding and knowledge of the McCarthy era and the fact that I have never experienced racism first hand in my life. E. The biggest idea I will take away from this text to promote social issues is that a great place to start discussing different perspectives and discourses is the common struggles we all face in life. There were many times in the book I connected with Lorde as she reached life milestones I have like graduation, her first job, and living independently, but the whole time I kept in mind she had a very different experience than me. I would use this as a starting point to discuss how our culture or discourse influences these experiences and causes each of us to take something a little different away from the same experience. For example, if we look at the first day of school, we see from the example above Lorde had a much different experiences on the first day of school than the white students in her class. Seeing the everyday through a new lens[using] language and other sign systems to recognize implicit modes of perception and to consider new frames which to understand experience (Lewsion, Flint, Sluys, 2002, p. 382-383) allows us to appreciate perspectives other than our own which is crucial for understanding others. Another idea I will take away from this book is the idea that one person can belong to multiple discourses. In the book Lorde discusses how later in life she formed bonds with other homosexual women in New York City. The group was comprised of women of different races who shared the same lifestyle. Additionally some of the tension in the book helped me understand the idea that belonging to more than one discourse can sometimes result in conflict as Lorde explains how her race always set her apart from the white women in the group. Together, we formed a loosely knit, emotionally and socially interdependent set, sharing many different interestsBut the fact of our Blackness was an issue that Felecia and I talked about only between ourselvesEven Muriel believed that as lesbians, we were all outsiders and all equal in our outsiderhoodWere all niggers, she used to say, and I hated to hear her say it. It was wishful thinking based in little fact; the ways in which it was true languished in the shadow of those many ways in which it would always be false (Lorde, 1982, 201). Here Lorde eloquently shows the conflict between her racial discourse and sexuality discourse. This was a learning point for me as I could see some logic in what Lordes partner Muriel said; they were all outsiders, the other women in the group knew what it felt like to be discriminated against because they experienced it due to their sexuality. What I didnt realize was that those women could hide their difference while Lorde could not. She would always have dark skin and therefore always have to face discrimination. Lastly this passage stands as a reminder to what Gee writes about, in order to fully understand another Discourse is to immerse yourself in it, which Lordes friend did not do. F. The experience of reading this book and being in this class has caused me to be very reflective in my own life. I am constantly questioning myself and the institutions around me. More specifically, as I read this book I was reminded that I am on a journey to discover my own
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racial identity as Lorde was in her book. Tatums article regarding racial identity was eye opening for me and helped me understand that minorities and whites go through different processes on the journey to coming to terms with their racial identity. The article helped me understand the behavior of not only minorities but whites as well and this was reflected in certain stories told in Lordes book. Another point I have come to recognize is that racism [is] a system of advantage based on race (Tatum, 1992, p. 3). It is not individual acts of meanness but rather a structural inequality that favors whites. I saw this in Lordes book reflected in the story of when he landlord killed himself because her family moved in. Yes, that was an individual choice but it was based on a larger societal structure, not just that mans opinion. It is also evident when Lorde was job hunting and was continually turned away because she was an African American women. Voluntary and involuntary minorities were also new to me as I entered this class and I have found this concept helps me better understand the differences between minority groups. Lorde alludes to the differences between the two types of minorities in her book. Both her parents were immigrants from the West Indies. They were strict with their children as they kept them focused on school and work while also shielding them from racism. As I mentioned above, Lordes parents wanted her to be successful in life since they had worked so hard to get their family to America. This is similar to what Ogbu describes as immigrant or voluntary minorities explaining these are people who have moved more or less voluntarily to the United Statesbecause they desire more economic well-being, better overall opportunities, and/or greater political freedom (Ogbu,1992, p. 8). Voluntary minorities usually are more accepting of the societal norms of the United States because they are trying to establish a life here, which may explain why Lordes parents looked the other way when experiencing racism. Diff perspectives