Hannah Brockhausen 10-10-13 English/B6

TOOLS FOR ENGLISH SCHOLARS: SUMMATIVE ASSESSMENT PART 1: ANALYSIS OF A PROFESSIONAL WRITING SAMPLE Bibliograp i! Ci"a"io#: Allison, Alexander. To an Athlete Dying Young. 1983. Print. Octo er 1!, "#13.

To an Athlete Dying Young is a $oe% descri ing the death and i%$ortance o& the li&e o& an athlete, 'ho, un&ortunately, dies at a young age. This $oe% is directed to'ards anyone 'ho ad%ires the legacy o& this athlete and anyone 'ho 'ants to (no' a out ho' %uch this athlete 'as and is still adored y the $u lic. The %ain idea o& this text is that an ad%ired athlete has died and has le&t his legacy on the 'orld o& s$orts. O)erall, the ele%ents that %a(e this $oe% a strong exa%$le o& its genre are %ood, diction, i%agery, and sy% ols. This $oe% suggests a )ery sorro'&ul yet cele ratory %ood. The 'ords are sorro'&ul in descri ing ho' the athlete has died young yet are cele ratory in that his legacy is &ore)er randed in the 'orld o& s$orts and in the hearts o& %any &ans. The diction or 'ord choice in this $oe% hel$s to set the %ood &or the text. There is also )ery descri$ti)e and so$histicated )oca ulary i%$lanted into this $oe%, such as the 'ords threshold, &leet, early*laurelled, and garland. The author+s 'ord choice suggests that he,she has an ad)anced understanding o& the genre and there&ore hints that the $oe% 'ill e )ery 'ell 'ritten. Also i%agery is a )ery strong co%$onent in this $oe%. An exa%$le o& color&ul i%agery in this text is the $hrase 'ithers -uic(er than a rose. Through the descri$tion in this sentence, the reader can egin to &eel the texture o& a 'ithering rose and s%ell the rose $etals &alling o&& o& the ste%. The reader can then in&er the true %eaning o& the si%ile. The last ele%ent that is crucial to 'riting a stellar $oe% is the use o& sy% ols. An exa%$le o& a %eaning&ul sy% ol is the $hrase &ro% the $oe% &ields 'here glory does not stay. Although on the sur&ace this see%s li(e .ust another uni%$ortant $hrase in the text, the true %eaning is that in li&e nothing is certain or lasts &ore)er/ e)erything %ust end at so%e $oint in ti%e. O)erall this text sho's %any o& the (ey ele%ents that are crucial to 'riting a descri$ti)e and e%otional $oe%.

Hannah Brockhausen 10-10-13 English/B6

PART $: WRITING GOALS 0ecause 1 'ant to uild sus$ense and set a %ood through color&ul i%agery and syntax, 1 'ill organi2e %y 'riting y using an intriguing introduction, using )ery descri$ti)e ody $aragra$hs, and &inally ending 'ith a conclusion that thoroughly co%$letes %y $oe%. 0ecause %y diction should esta lish a %ood that easily connects to the readers senses and thoroughly descri es the %eaning o& %y $oe%, 1 'ill use 'ords that are )ery descri$ti)e and that 'ill a$$eal to the reader+s &i)e senses. To achie)e good sentence structure, 1 'ill %a(e sure all o& the sentences are gra%%atically correct, ut 1 %ay end the rules o& sentence structure in order to %a(e the sentences &lo' and connect 'ell. 1 'ill use %eaning&ul sy% ols and %eta$hors in %y co%$osition in order to esta lish the %eaning in a 'ay that the reader 'ill understand 'hile still uilding the %ood through certain ty$es o& %eta$hors and sy% ols. 1 'ant this $iece o& 'riting to sho' that 1 a% a $oetic 'riter. 1 'ant to also sho' that 1 ha)e an ad)anced understanding o& the ele%ents o& literature and $oetry.

PART %: ORIGINAL COMPOSITION Music Is 3usic is an art that s$ea(s to the heart.

As 1 listen to the song, 1 hear the touching lyrics, 1 understand the e&&ortlessness o& the $iece, 1t see%s so color&ul,

Hannah Brockhausen 10-10-13 English/B6

4i(e a garden o& losso%ing roses, And so grace&ul, 4i(e an elegant ird &lying a o)e a $eace&ul la(e.

3usic is a (aleidosco$e o& &eelings, That the song'riter 'anted to e%$hasi2e through his e%otions in the $iece, 5hen 1 hear the %usic, 1 auto%atically ha)e a connection to the chords and lyrics, And 1 &eel as i& 1 a% co%$letely &ree &ro% the 'ic(edness o& the 'orld, And 1 a% only intrigued y the %eaning&ul lyrics ehind e)ery $hrase.

3usic is the constant ins$iration to exceed the 'orld+s ex$ectations, 1t is $roduced 'hen a song'riter egins to &eel that a certain $hrase 'ill touch $eo$le+s hearts, 6e then lin(s the $hrase to a &eeling that it suggests, 7uch as sorro'&ul or cele ratory,

3usic is an art that s$ea(s to %y heart.

PART &: REFLECTION Goal O#' R'(l'!"io#: 1 &eel that 1 did %eet this goal ecause 1 tried hard to use strong to$ic sentences and concluding sentences. 1 also 'as a le to use detailed descri$tion in %y ody $aragra$hs in order to uild sus$ense. Goal T)o R'(l'!"io#: 1 &eel as i& this $oe% does connect 'ell to the reader+s &i)e senses ecause 1 used strong i%agery in order to %a(e a strong )isual i%age in the readers %ind. 1 also 'as a le to use strong descri$ti)e )oca ulary in order to acco%$lish this goal. Goal T r'' R'(l'!"io#: Although 1 didn+t end the rules o& sentence structure in %y $oe%, 1 elie)e that %y sentences &lo' 'ell and dra' the reader+s attention. 1 used syntax in order to acco%$lish this goal as 'ell.

Hannah Brockhausen 10-10-13 English/B6

M* Wri"i#g Pro!'++: 1. 1 'rote the $oe% 'ithout changing any nouns, )er s, or ad.ecti)es. ". Then 1 re$laced any 'ea( nouns, )er s, or ad.ecti)es 'ith %ore descri$ti)e )oca ulary. 3. 1 chec(ed to %a(e sure that there 'ere no s$elling or gra%%atical errors as this 'ould a&&ect the o)erall e%otional e&&ect the $oe% has. !. 8inally, 1 'ent ac( o)er the $oe% and added %ore descri$ti)e 'ords that are not nouns, )er s, or ad.ecti)es.