Discipline within the Family

ENGL 2010: Group Project Portfolio

Brenda Igomodu Jeremy Butler Ellena Limb Brittany Rawlins Devin Montgomery

Table of Contents
Group Biography ........................................................................................................................................... 2 Audience Analysis ........................................................................................................................................ 3 Executive Summary ...................................................................................................................................... 5 Proposal ........................................................................................................................................................ 9 Work Cited Page.......................................................................................................................................... 16

Group Biography

Audience Analysis Our chosen audience is young adult couples that are expecting or already have children. Our audience is couples between the ages of 19 and 30. Considering most young couples are just entering into adulthood and are for the first time on their own, they are considered to be middleclass, which plays a large role in how they discipline. The values that motivate young couples to discipline their children can vary. We interviewed a young couple that has been married for two and a half years, who lives in Logan, Utah. We will refer to them as John and Jane. John is twenty-four years old and Jane is twenty-two years old. They have a daughter that is eight months old. Jane recently graduated with a Bachelors degree and John is now working toward his; with a graduation pending this semester. While he works three jobs, she stays home with their child. This could be considered the stereotypical image of a young middle-class couple here in Utah; a woman who stays at home and takes care of the children, as she supports her husband who is trying to finish school and keep the family afloat. In the interview, we asked them various questions; individually and collectively. The answers we received were somewhat along the lines of what we were expecting. In regards to the audience analysis, we asked them what motivates them to discipline their children as they grow older. In regards to their motives behind disciplining, both had similar responses. There is a strong religious motive that pushes them to discipline their children. Both feel that they have a responsibility as parents to raise children in a loving home that is centered on good principles.

Views on discipline have changed tremendously over the past years. Research has shown the negative effects discipline has had on children and how it now affects them. Also those who were affected by the more harmful forms of discipline while growing up have realized that changes must be made. What is considered discipline is not so clear cut. In a way it has become more strict on the parents. If they are seen smacking their children and yelling, they could be reported to family services. Parents are starting to understand that physical discipline doesnt teach much to the child. The main thing parents need to do is make sure their children understand what they did was wrong and why, and then make sure they know they are still loved. The topic of discipline is a very personal matter. When the issue of how children should be raised and the methods that should be used in order for them to become well rounded individuals is brought into the sphere of debate, governments, schools, doctors and even religious organizations have their own ideas and methods they believe are the best. But at its core, the parents are the ones that are responsible for the discipline of their children. And, ultimately it is the parents that will be the primary discipliner. We expect our audience to be critical of the information we give concerning the discipline of children. We expect they will be defensive because they will see the information as an attack on their parenting skills as well as those of their parents. But throughout our presentation we will illustrate our points and the rebuttals that we will encounter in order to give our audience a better understanding of our position and persuade them with the information we provide.

Executive Summary The common definition of discipline is the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience (Zolotor 9). There are many forms of discipline and many different circumstances in which it is used. In this paper, we mainly concern ourselves with the discipline that occurs within the family, and specifically to children. When the topic of discipline arises in conversation, in relation to children; there are two opposing arguments that follow. One in favor of it; stating that without discipline children will grow to be lawless, dysfunctional and morally inept members of society, on the other hand, those against the act of discipline state that it creates an emotionally unsafe environment for children, which may lead to them being abusers in their later years. These two views are both extremes in terms of what discipline is and what it is meant to do when concerning children. The problem when discussing these two points of view is when does discipline become abuse and who has a say in how children should be disciplined. For children that are out of control, discipline is necessary. Child abuse is reported annually within the United States, a total of 2.5 million times along with hundreds of deaths related to the abuse. Unfortunately, too many individuals are unaware of the reality of child abuse. Child abuse is becoming more relevant to our society. Children as young as two and all the way up to 17 years of age are being abused and are often unable to tell anyone because they are physically incapable or scared of what might happen if they do. Discipline has always been a part of society. It is absolutely necessary for control and order to be maintained. But when does discipline go too far? When is discipline no longer a form of teaching but of punishment, instead? When is discipline classified as abuse?

One of the most crucial legal cases in trying to define discipline and abuse in the U.S. was in the case of a young girl named Mary Ellen Wilson. Mary was the daughter of Francis and Thomas Wilson. When her Father died, her mother didnt have the means to take care of her and through a series of events she came into the care of Mary and Thomas McCormack. It was here that Mary Ellen Wilson was severely beaten by The McCormacks. She was forced to do dishes that weighed nearly as much as she did. She was whipped, starved, and locked up, never being allowed to leave the house. She was eventually found by Etta Angell Wheeler and despite laws that were in place prohibiting such treatment; officials did not take immediate action. Wheeler then turned to Henry Bergh, the founder of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, for help. Wheeler and Bergh were able to bring the situation to public view and eventually a trial. Mary Wilson testified at the trial on the inhumane treatment of the McCormacks which was enough to sentence them to one year of hard labor in the state penitentiary (Watkins 500-503). This event was a landmark because it brought to public view how some children were being treated. Since then, society has made a push to establish a definite line between discipline and abuse. Another landmark was the 1962 publishing of The Battered-Child Syndrome, by C. Henry Kempe, which describes the physical conditions of abuse and neglect. The book influenced the public to consider where the line should be drawn between abuse and discipline. These two events are key examples of society trying to define the line between discipline, abuse and the impact it has on the individual and the family. Opinions on the line between discipline and abuse have changed tremendously throughout the years. When students went to school, they would get whipped if they did something they weren't supposed to. Even at home, whipping or smacking was a pretty normal part of discipline. It is likely that those who experienced this form
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of discipline did not agree with it and wanted prevent it from happening to others. Today we have a greater degree of influence on how children should be treated because we have more power in what we believe. When discipline has reached the point of abuse, who does it impact? When a child is abused or is a witness of abuse, they learn that violence is a method used to solve problems and control others and may subconsciously carry that behavior into adulthood. We commonly see that abuse patterns recur in future generations after the initial child is abused. Each child is unique and may respond differently to the abuse, but there are common short and long-term effects that can impact a childs day-to-day functions such as physical and emotional distress. Child abuse also impacts everyone that the child comes in contact with. Its common for the child to exhibit unusual behavior and the surrounding people take notice. There are many times a school teacher will take note of a childs behavioral changes and then refer them to a school counselor. Other children at school may also notice and change the way they interact with the abused child. These are just some of the common figures that are impacted outside of the home. Inside of the home, siblings that witness abuse can have many of the same effects as the child who is receiving the abuse. If only one of the parents or guardians is acting as the abuser, the other may feel pressured to either assist the abuser, or not get the help that is needed. They may also be on the receiving end of the abuse and that may also play a factor in not asking for help. Fear is the main goal of an abuser. The involvement of parents to stop child abuse is necessary and could save lives. Its important for everyone, not just parents, to be educated about child abuse. Child abuse is
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preventable and should not be tolerated. Although punishment is appropriate in certain situations, it should not lead to bruised skin, damaged self confidence, fear of the parent and should certainly not lead to death. We should all be more informed and make a stronger push in preventing the abuse of children and teenagers.

Proposal
Discipline is necessary within the family. The family affects a childs ability to relate to the world and without control and stability within the family, he/she would be lost. Not only does discipline teach children responsibility for their actions and the difference between right and wrong, it leads to better health, happiness, as they become a young adult (Lee 2). It is the parents job to teach children how to act in public and be social in a respectable manner (Kela 7). Parents who teach their children how to control their behavior at a young age, will help them grow into mature adults (Ruffin 1). Children who are disciplined have more self control and self sufficiency (Lee 10). They learn these traits from four different types of discipline; physical, verbal, withholding rewards, and penalties (Ruffin 3). These discipline techniques teach children that when they misbehave there will be consequences in order to correct the behavior and prevent it from occurring in the future. Without consequences, a child will not learn when his/her behavior is unacceptable. The disciplinary consequences allow the child to acknowledge the mistake and be able to take responsibility for it. Discipline will prepare children for the real world. Children disciplined in a positive, informative way will have self confidence and self ambition. Children who are not disciplined have a harder time adapting to the real world. A lack of discipline does not teach or guide children with the necessary skills to be able to function in society (Kela 1). In many cases children who lack discipline become very spoiled. Discipline enforces guidelines for good behavior and if discipline is not present, a child will not learn responsibility and that there are consequences to their actions (Kela 7). They will have a difficult time creating and maintaining relationships and struggle with overcoming challenges (Lee 3). A childs lack of self discipline may lead to a lack of respect from his/her peers and they will
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become unpleasant company. They may become unhappy with the lifestyle they lead because they are unable to make friends and could become angry and resentful (Lee 3). Discipline is important in a childs life because it leads to a positive attitude towards life. The fact that children need to be disciplined is important but the way in which they are disciplined is of equal importance. The differences between the way mothers and fathers discipline their children became apparent when we asked the question, What discipline methods do you plan to use? In the interview conducted for our audience analysis, both John and Jane were on the same track with similar ideas but there were slight differences of opinion. Jane explicitly stated, No spanking. She obviously doesnt plan on using this method. Neither did John, but his response wasnt so explicit. Jane said that she plans on using a more psychological approach when it comes to the discipline of her children. In her views, earning privileges by doing whats right, and showing parental disappointment are two of the greatest strategies that she will be able to apply when disciplining her children. Similarly, but not with the same exact approach, John plans on sitting his children down and talking it out with them; trying to find the root of the problem, wanting to understand why his children acted out or did what they did. He wants to help them. He continued by explaining that it is very important to him as a father to teach his children the principles of right and wrong. He wants them to understand that there is a right and a wrong side of life and if necessary, he will punish his kids. Both John and Jane agree that restrictions are the best forms of discipline. They both want their children to understand the difference between right and wrong and plan to use the idea of restrictions & privileges to get this idea across. When their kids act out, they plan to take away driving privileges, or time spent with friends, etc. On the other hand, when their children
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do something praiseworthy, they plan to praise them for their actions with added privileges (Butler). By these means, John and Jane will provide the discipline necessary to help their children become healthy and functional individuals. Obviously, people discipline their children in different ways: physically, emotionally, and sometimes both. Physical discipline can cause pain or injury to a child and emotional discipline can cause psychological and emotional pain, but both have the purpose of teaching the child that what they did was wrong. Both forms, physical and emotional discipline, could be used differently depending on the situation. People will have different opinions on what discipline is and when it becomes abuse. The line is gray though; a parent may begin with what they consider appropriate or reasonable discipline, but it can easily escalate based on the childs reaction or the parents anger. Whatever the reason, it is easy to unintentionally cross the line between discipline and abuse (Grinberg 15). Physical force doesnt show children what to do, and it doesnt educate them on better ways to cope or solve the problem. Everyone makes mistakes and needs to go through the process of growing and learning what is right and wrong. In good discipline, it is crucial to let them understand why they are being punished and then the punishment should be reinforced with positive emotions letting them know they are still loved and cared for (Grinberg 25). There have been many stories and studies that show that physical punishment is not the answer to discipline. Research shows physical punishment makes it more likely that children will be defiant and aggressive in the future. Physical punishment puts children at risk for depression and anger management problems and they are more likely to have self esteem issues (Dodge, Pettit, Bates, & Valente 3). Yelling at a child and being emotional about a given situation can lead the parent into a trap. It reduces parental influence and empowers the child. Yelling becomes self-defeating
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because the child knows they can impact the parent which may cause children to grow up with some self esteem issues, which may lead to rebellion, this tactic is often not effective because a child will learn which buttons to press in order to get a reaction from their parent and manipulate the situations to their advantage. Being a parent and providing discipline is a job within itself, but one important question is deciding on whether or not discipline should differ between children based on gender. Its quite obvious that males and females differ in many ways. Michael Thompson, a psychologist at the University of Southern California, stated that a boys brain develops much slower than that of a girls, causing boys to have different behavioral traits. Because of this fact, girls tend to process language and use it more in their social lives than boys. They typically have better fine motor skills. On the other hand, boys are more physically active, impulsive, and immature in comparison to girls their same age. Gender stereotypes for boys and girls are common in American today (Thompson 12). In an article entitled, Boys vs Girls: Whos Harder to Raise? Paula Spencer, a mother of four and a newspaper journalist, discussed the different gender stereotypes and how they impact how a parent disciplines their child. Spencer states. The most destructive stereotypes for boys are that they are born strong and tough and that they need to be treated in ways that will, Turn them into men. The most destructive gender-based stereotype for girls is that they need to be constantly protected. So, the result is that children of opposite sexes in the same family might receive very different punishments even when they have committed the same infraction. This problem is found outside of the family as well because socialization, though mainly the domain of the family, is also taught by societal institutions. In a study done by Jenny Drake and Sarah Kamplain at the University of Pennsylvania, they studied the misbehaviors of fifth graders and the different strategies teachers used to correct
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the issues. They predicted that teachers would use inductive discipline more with girls, and corrective discipline with boys. Inductive discipline means explaining why misbehaviors are inappropriate while corrective discipline includes telling the child to behave correctly and inflicting punishment. In this study, Drake and Kamplain found that boys had more instances of misbehavior than girls. They also found that 87.2% of discipline on boys was corrective while 26% was used on girls (Drake, Kamplain). This study shows that boys and girls are indeed disciplined differently due to what they respond best to. Some disagree with this theory and believe that boys can be disciplined the same as girls with positive results. Robert Taibbi, a journalist for Psychology Today Magazine, argued that parents should discipline based on the action, not the gender. He found that many times when a parent disciplines a girl less severely than a boy, both children become emotionally perplexed because they did not receive the same punishment; especially the child that was disciplined more harshly. Parents are the core of a childs socialization (Leeuween 3). Our position is that discipline is necessary in the family but also that some methods of discipline are more effective than others. As mentioned before, discipline teaches children to be responsible for their actions and that leads to many beneficial and positive characteristics in the child, so the act of discipline is an important factor of familial life. Leeuween, Fauchier, and Straus in Assessing Dimensions of Parental Discipline focused on the distinct parental disciplinary practices in response to and aimed at correcting perceived misbehavior of their children. They stressed that it is essential to make available tools that enable parents to provide a variety in form of discipline (Leeween 14). In other words, studies such as those conducted by Leeuween and associates paints a picture on the dynamics of discipline that focuses on the outcome for the individual and the influence that the different forms of discipline had.
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There are many out there that say discipline is harmful to children and - to a degree- we agree with that statement, but we must also point out that those who make such claims are only looking at the situation through a narrow field of vision. Some forms of discipline can be harmful to children, such as corporal punishment. Corporal punishment includes any use of physical punishment against a child in response to misbehavior; it is increasingly regarded as an act of violence against children (Zolotor 5). Corporal punishment has been repeatedly associated with child abuse, moral internalization, aggression, delinquency, antisocial behavior, decreased quality of the parent-child relationship, increased behavioral symptoms, later criminal behavior, worse mental health, and perpetration of spouse and child abuse (Gershoff, 2002; Zolotor et al. 14). But through research and study the general public is becoming more aware of the effects of discipline. In fact, Zolotor states that his data demonstrates a downward trend in corporal punishment by eighteen percent. But there is also the reasoning that, a parent in the US has the right to discipline a child, with their hands or an instrumentConversely, it is illegal to strike or inflict pain on adults (Zolotor 23). How can discipline be a controversial matter when we have laws that protect adults from having pain inflicted on them but when the topic of making laws that protect children come up, hundreds are quick to stand up and defend their rights. While it is up to parents to teach their children and help them become functional member of society we propose that parents take action in their understanding of discipline. We propose that parents make an effort to learn the research behind what they inflict on their children and the outcomes those inflictions may have. Parents should take into consideration the kinds of people they want their children to be, the type of home environment they want to create and most of all the well being of their children. Discipline should not be something done unto a child, it should not be a way to control, hurt or belittle. Discipline should be a relationship between parents and
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their children, a way to teach morality, integrity and honor.

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Work Cited Page

Butler, Jared, and Amy Butler. Personal Interview. 19 Feb 2014. Reuters, Thomson."Child Abuse Background and History." FindLaw. n.d. Web. 1 Feb 2014. Drake, Jenny, and Sarah Kamplain. "Gender Differences in Elementary School Discipline." Hanover College. N.p., 26 Aug. 2011. Web. 15 Feb. 2014.

Hicks-Pass, Stephanie. "Corporal Punishment In America Today: Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child? A Systematic Review Of The Literature." Best Practice In Mental Health 5.2 (2009): 71-88. Academic Search Premier. Web. 26 Feb. 2014. Grinber, Emanuella. CNN Opinion: Effects of Physical Discipline Linger for Adults. cnn.com. CNN, 7 Nov. 2011. Web. 15 Feb. 2014. Kela. "Lack of Discipline Leads to Spoiled Children." Todays Modern Family. N.p., 27 Jan.2010. Web. 12 Feb. 2014. Kempe, C. Henry. "The Battered-Child Syndrome."Journal of the American Medical Association. 9. 143-154. Print Leeuwen, Karla G., Angle Fauchier, and Murray A. Straus. "Assessing Dimensions of Parental Discipline." Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment 34.2 (2012): 21631. Print. Lee, Katherine. "Surprising Reasons Why We Need to Discipline Children." About.com SchoolAge Children. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Feb. 2014. "Mary Ellen Wilson: How One Girl's Plight Started the Child-Protection Movement." American Humane Association. Web. 1 Feb 2014. Maurel, Oliver. Spanking-Questions and Answers About Disciplinary Violence: Why We Must Stop Using Corporal Punishment. Section 3. Trans. Tom Johnson. 2005. Print.
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McLoyd, Vonnie C. and Smith, Julie. Physical Discipline and Behavior Problems. Journal of Marriage and Family Vol. 64, No. 1 (2002): 40-53. Print. Ruffin, Novella. "Discipline and Punishment. What Is the Difference ?" Discipline for Young Children. N.p., 1 May 2009. Web. 12 Feb. 2014. Sendek, Deborah. CNN Opinion: Physical Punishment Doesnt help, it Hurts. cnn.com. CNN, 10 Nov. 2011. Web. 15 Feb. 2014. Spencer, Paula. "Boys vs Girls: Who's Harder to Raise?" CNN Living. CNN, 13 Sept. 2010. Web. 15 Feb. 2014. Taibbi, Robert. "Discipline: 5 Ways to do it Right." Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, 4 May 2011. Web. 15 Feb. 2014. The Case of Mary Ellen Wilson. vimeo, Film. 1 Feb 2014. "The Battered-Child Syndrome." SpringerLink. N.p.. Web. 1 Feb 2014. Thompson, Michael. "Do Boys and Girls Learn Differently?" A Place of Our Own. Community Television of Southern California, 15 Mar. 2007. Web. 15 Feb. 2014. Zolotor, Adam J., et al. "Corporal Punishment And Physical Abuse: Population-Based Trends For Three-To-11-Year-Old Children In The United States." Child Abuse Review 20.1 (2011): 57-66. Academic Search Premier. Web. 23 Feb. 2014.

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