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General Points of Concern 1. Revise entire essay to insure the focus is on the genre convention of Holmes 2. Add lead-in to my first body paragraphs quote as well as a quote from a trusted source 3. Change title 4. Delete unnecessary information in my introduction and throughout the essay 5. Connect to modern investigator in conclusion 6. Change topic sentence of the first body paragraph 7. Analyze the sentence structure present when Holmes is talking with Watson about the irregulars (pg 62) ADD REVISE Thesis related DELETE/ Unnecessary

Kurtis Wragg Writing 37 / Lynda Haas February 2, 2014 The Struggle for Equality Changed title to shift focus towards Sherlock It is often difficult to look past a persons outer shell yet it is a necessity to do so to understand them. The Sign of the Four, by Arthur Conan Doyle, illustrates how the class structure that resided in Victorian Era London, inhibited its people. Set in 19th century London, the class structures that resided had separated the people of London into three major groups. Unnecessary The common man worked or attempted to find work in factories to insure his

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familys survival while his kids worked the streets delivering telegrams. (Freeman) As Oscar Wilde stated, There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else. Due to the industrial revolution underway, the densely populated city of London became overpopulated leaving the lower class only the slums to reside. The unsanitary living quarters festered bacteria in the water and mold in food scraps which often led to an early death. All combined the common man was ignored by the other classes and left to their own devices to survive. Unnecessary ADD general statement about Holmes actions In the novel, Sherlock Holmes employs the Baker Street Irregulars to help get to the bottom of the mystery and uses their lack of importance to his advantage. Holmes sees past the segregation that resides in the Victorian Era streets of London to further his detective capabilities revise structure, add the word convention, make my thesis obvious The Baker Street irregulars in the Sherlock Holmes series illustrate the overall consensus made by the middle and upper classes, that the lower class lacked importance. Change focus of sentence to Holmes Sherlock sees past the class structure that creates the separation between the lower class to further his cases development. ADD a professionals quote on topic to increase my ethos Sherlock exploits their ability to fly under the radar to attempt to find the steamship, Aurora, in a secretive manner. His ability to do so allows him to observe and detect in multiple places at once and go somewhere he cant be without exposing himself. give more of a lead-in My dear fellow, it would be a colossal task. She may have touched at any wharf on either side of the stream between here and Greenwich. Below the bridge there is a perfect labyrinth of landing-places for miles. It would take you days and days to exhaust them if you set about it alone (59). Sherlock needs the help of the baker street irregulars. Without them, his cases would struggle to break ground due to the lack of man power needed. Holmes, as a well-known

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intellectual, is able to analyze a situation and formulate a plan ignoring the predetermined judgments of the 19th century citizens of London.Use hyphen He recognizes what is needed and solves the problem disregarding the standards that often interfere with success. The irregulars or Victorian age Londons scavengers (Freeman) struggled as the upper and middle classes prospered. Realizing that with a small investment he could employ a work force of his own and make headway on his case he looked to the Baker Street Irregulars for assistance. When Holmes asked a poor little boy what he wanted most he replied, Id like a shillin(Doyle 57). DELETE poor choice of quote, find a better quote to use He looked pass the conventional view of their unimportance and saw their true abilities. This makes him the detective that everyone aspires to be. The class boundaries that the population of London uphold dont limit Holmes because he formulates his own opinion based on facts. Good thesis statement, revise essay to sound more like this The scientific and methodical process Holmes has established to formulate opinion allows him to objectively view the lower class and thereby use them to his advantage in his case development. KEEP After realizing he would be unable to solve his case alone he looks to his underground police force, You remember the Baker Street division of the detective police force whom I employed in the Jefferson Hope case? Well, said I, laughing. This is just the case where they might be invaluable. If they fail I have other resources, but I shall try them first. That wire was to my dirty little lieutenant, Wiggins, and I expect that he and his gang will be with us before we have finished our breakfast (59). Holmes straight forward and professional choice of words shows respect while Watson illustrates the views of the average citizen, who would laugh at the thought of the lower class being helpful. ADD analysis on the sentence structure of this quote Watson adapted the interpretations of the Victorian Eras norms to his own leaving

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him at a disadvantage to Holmes. ADD second quote from page 62 that captures Watsons description of the Irregulars analyze the differences between Holmes and Watson who is supposed to represent the British gentlemen He is unable to see their true abilities and is only to see the filtered picture of their existence. Talk about how Holmes is unbiased and how this changes his abilities In Victorian Era London the class boundaries that had established a divide between the lower, middle, and upper classes was ignored by Holmes due to his scientific process that established their true abilities and usefulness. DELETE make new sentence about the Baker Street Irregulars true abilities He utilizes the irregulars due to the class boundaries that disconnect them from most other citizens and allow them to go unnoticed because of his need to solve the case without the offenders knowing. Revise, Talk about why class boundaries dont limit Holmes ADD a connection to modern day investigators

Works Cited 1. Doyle, Arthur Conan. The Sign of the Four. Philadelphia: J.B. Lippincott, 1890. Print. 2. Freeman, Kelsey. "English Victorian Society." English Victorian Society. Trafton Academy, 13 Dec.
1997. Web. 06 Feb. 2014.