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All human beings should have the privilege of helping someone to be born and
someone to die. In both opportunities, different learnings would make us feel closer to
what life and death mean and, consequently, closer to God.

Bringing someone to life is a plunge into abundance, prosperity: It is like becoming

part of Creation: a unique moment in which we become accomplices of the Creator and
realize how beautiful His work is. The joy of this moment has no comparison with
anything in this world! The jubilation from the event of a birth takes possession of our
beings and, thus, we remain under this state of grace for a long time. Whoever has had a
child or had a direct contact with the birth of a child, knows what I am talking about.

Between birth and death, dealing with birth is the best part and, apparently, easier - if
for no other reason - because we are more predisposed to this experience. We are
created and conditioned to receive a new baby as a gift from God. And, the birth of a
child is exactly this.

On the other hand, for all of us, death is a very difficult challenge to overcome.
Accompanying someone through death is to have direct contact with sobriety, darkness,
silence. Everything withers, rots and is gone. Looking after a person in a terminal state
is very hard, especially if it is an elderly, when every effort for helping seems like a vain
attempt. Dealing with their dependence and assistance in their basic needs, feeding,
hygiene, is frustrating and wearisome. All the crudities with which one has to deal are
the same as that we handle very well with a baby, however, with the sick or the old,
everything seems more difficult. We want distance from death; it scares us and, for
sheer instinct, we feel aversion and contrariety when we get near it. And all that is just
because we lack intimacy with death; respect for traditions already forgotten; and
naturality in dealing with something that is inherent to life itself. After all, everything
that is born, one day, dies.


 
 






 
 
 


Maybe, it was time we rescued our contact with death. We are relearning ways how this
experience permeates even with life itself. We are, again, valuing natural child¶s birth
labor, the presence of the father, and we are reverently standing to this very sacrate and
magic moment. In several ways, we are trying to humanize birth and involve the closest
in the family to receive with naturality and harmony the small being that is joining the
family. Then, why not humanize and review our attitudes towards death? One should
get ready for it; learn how to reverence it; and respect its different forms of
manifestation.

Today, when someone gets seriously ill or gets old and, somehow, we think that their
time is up, we get into deep conflict. After all, we know nothing about death and, quite
often, we are brought up away from all religion traditions which could give us some
comfort and guidance. Religions have always a special chapter about death, its
meanings and rituals, which sanction the moment and get us ready for it. However, in
this modern world of ours, traditions are faced with practicalities and supposedly social
morality. Today, it is very difficult for us to fit the sick and the old into our daily
activities and it seems logical to us that everything must be done to save a life.

Consequently, to the last moment, our moribund are handed over to hospitals, doctors,
drugs, injection punctures, serums, intravenous feeding, oxygen tubing, probes,
physiotherapies, restricted intensive care rooms, etc. Of course all that is welcome and
very important when we try to save someone who has a lot to live for, but it becomes
unfair and, even cruel, when it is to do with a life without great chances or someone
who is taking their leave after many, many years well lived.

This is a crucial point. When is the right moment to stop and let someone die in peace?
To answer this question, some aspects should be taken into consideration: Who are we
talking about? What their age? What are their chances of having a healthy and fulfilling
life? What is their attitude in face of a perspective of death and what is the attitude of
other people close to them? In any event, at some moment, it is necessary to stop and
think, leaving out our moral and social concerns; looking deep into ourselves and
listening to what our heart has to say.

Helping someone to die is as noble as helping someone to be born or to live. We should

be aware of this and, without guilty feelings, afflictions or anxiety, take steps so that our
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take leave within an atmosphere of peace and tranquility. There is a moment in
which it is no good calling the doctor; getting a nurse; taking to a specialized clinic;
spending a fortune; and overburdening oneself with care, medication or hospital
equipments.

There is a moment in which all we have to do is to listen to our departing dear one, keep
warm, feed, change and bathe, caress and respect the intimacy and introspection of
whom is very close to living through one of the most significant experiences in life:
death itself.