Aguilar 1 Antonio Aguilar Jr.

Z1695658 English 103 2/21/2014 God

Always having to deal with my parents argue, it was difficult to do well in school, in my social life, and in my academic life. It felt like a push and pull relationship between stress and me. Both of my parents looked after me but they themselves did not get along: and to this moment they do not. Spending some time on thinking about my parents problems, I felt as if one of my parents was right for getting angry at the other: thinking about this many times caused much stress along with their arguing in my house. In order to have a better judgment on where they stand in their relationship I would sit and talk to my parents about their troubles and their relationship. It seemed like they were both innocent in each others stories. My mom would tell me that my father has done many bad things to her and my father would do the same when he told his stories about my mom. Making a brief analysis of both of their stories, I concluded that their own stories contradicted each other. When stories contradict each other there must be a side of the story that isnt being told. Reminiscing any chance that I had, I would think about my future and where my parents would be in my life, since they are constantly scolding each other. I never liked it when my parents argued because it would somehow make me feel as if I was in trouble: I felt like I was the reason for why they were arguing. I had no other source of expression but my daily workout routine and my belief system: a set of living standards by which I lived by.

Aguilar 2 I felt as if I could still handle their arguing but it felt like their problems radiated a negative energy that would bring troublesome to me: as if a wave of negative energy pushed me aside every time they argued, or any time that I would witness them arguing. One night my parents were arguing and it began to bother me because their arguing made me think of many negative things in my mind. Thoughts about whether my parents were fitting or making up, and such thoughts aggravated me because they always wanted me to be on either side just to make them feel better. I began to feel much anger by the minute and I began to picture evil and negative things about my parents. My whole body felt hot like I was partly in hell. Wanting to rush into the room they were in and cause chaos, I was strong enough to convert my anger into tears and I began to cry. Feeling hopeless I blessed myself and asked god, as last resort, to protect me and help me because I was lost and did not know what to do. That was the last thing that I could remember. I dont remember when I fell asleep but I remember when I was suddenly awoken by a loud yet accretive voice: the undertone demanded respect and attention. I was so sleepy I did not want to get up, but did not want to risk being in danger: assuming a stranger was in my room. I was so tired that such an assumption was made. There was something about the voice that intrigued me at the same time, for it went on and on and did not ask a question nor was it waiting for a response. I turned around hoping that there wasnt a stranger in my room because if there was I would have to really wake up to protect myself. A great sense of relief had come down my whole body when I saw that there was no one but the mere light, from a combination of the sun and the moons light, which entered through my curtains. My eyes moved vertically to see what was transmitting the voice I heard. Allowing the red light of the time on my clock settle in my vision, I saw that my clock read five fifteen in

Aguilar 3 the morning: the time I would wake up to go to school. I was going to change it but I left it to hear what the person in the radio was saying because I took it as a sign from god. I thought back from the night before when I had asked god to help, and thought that that was his way of helping me cooperate with stress and life in general. The voice on the radio spoke about words of wisdom and a carrying god. I was intrigued, and his knowledge was so helpful and motivating that I decided to lay in bed and listen to his whole speech on god and him wanting people to be successful. I recognized his voice, he was the comedian and actor Steve Harvey. He would do comedy but he was also someone who worked hard in his life to be in a position where he can make people laugh and help them become the best they can be. Many of the things he said made sense and would help direct me to the path of success. From what I got about the first message that Steve Harvey spoke about was about how everything that happens to us happens for a reason and that god has a plan for everyone. According to Steve, our whole life is a developing relationship with god and learning to do what he wants you to do because it will make you happy and because it is part of his divine plan. By the time that I got up from my bed I had felt better spiritually, mentally, and physically I realized that I might forget what Steve said if I did not write it down, so from that day onward I would write the advice that Steve gave on a notebook. I walked to the bathroom to get my day started: illuminated and cleansed from the negativity in my body from the previous day. The entire day I was in school I felt as if I had discovered something so precious that not everyone knew: a type of internal secret. Even when I got back home from school, the daily arguing that my parents would go through would not bother me at all. This was due to the words of wisdom that I had gotten from Steve. I was able to

Aguilar 4 apply them in my parent situation, and they helped me realize that their problems are theirs and not mine, thus I should stop trying to fix their issues and work on becoming a better person. I would no longer think about which one of my parents was right for getting mad at the other. I learned that the only thing I could do was love them both equally and think about how I can become a better me. My mentality was forever changed. I would remind myself about what the message that he would talk about and apply it into my life. I was able to understand the living situation I was in and how to manage certain thoughts in my mind so that I dont feel overwhelmed from negative thoughts. I let god, the collection of words of wisdom I had learned, take my life and help mold me to be a better person. As I learned to cooperate with my parents disputes at home, I began applying my wisdom to my school life. I found it difficult to fit in, and that was my problem. I was too busy learning how to fit into social groups at school that I was not focused enough on accepting me for who I am. The more I began accepting myself the more others began accepting me. I learned about self-acceptance when one morning Steve Harvey had spoken about learning how to love oneself because our heavenly father loves us, therefore we shall do the same. He had obviously elaborated that message much deeper, but I decided to memorize his main point because it is much easier to remember his messages this way: as well as writing it down on my notebook. Religion had never made it into my heart before, but the way that Steve Harvey translated and applied gods message on the radio had made me believe in god without having to be labeled under a specific religion. The belief of god that I began developing was enough to get me back on my feet, strive to achieve my own goals in life, and to look at life with an optimistic view.

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