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Briana Russo
Professor Havey
English 114B
9 May 2014
Here Physically, Gone Mentally
Why do people have voices when all they do is talk through their fingers? Social media
such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have become the biggest problem in relationships and
decrease the ability for individuals to interact with each other. There seems to be more online
interactions and relationships than real life human interactions. Technology having its many
successes seems to be the biggest factor in failing relationships. There is nothing positive
between technology and relationships because there is no sense of communication, and it all
becomes second hand, which leads to failing relationships. Many might think that it is easier to
stay in a committed relationship nowadays, but it is quite the opposite. These technologies that
are being used on a daily basis are distractions from the real world and stopping many of us from
learning new things about each other. Technology destroys human love based relationships,
pushes people apart specifically family, causes many dangers and decreases the ability of an
individual to communicate with others.
For many centuries love type relationships such as married and dating couples were
based on love letters, phone calls, throwing rocks at the window, walking up to the door for a
date and only being between two people. Today with the advancement of technology it is based
on text messages, social media to express their feelings instead of telling/showing their
significant other and having the relationship between the couple and everyone else around them.
Nowadays, there are more people expressing their feelings online for everyone to see instead of
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actually telling their significant other. Technology provides the type of satisfaction that an
individual should be feeling with their significant other. Arguments and break ups start
occurring more frequently than years before between two people because one liked another
persons picture or favorite something on someones profile. Trust is being tested and debated
about because of something someone might have seen or heard through the internet.
Relationships are being wrecked by other people because they are putting their business out there
for everyone to see, which gives others opportunities to break them up if they are having
problems. As Professor Margaret Lloyd from Queensland University of Technology states,
the illusion matches your expectations of what will happen, how you will feel and how you
should act. That you are working and talking or playing with people you will never know does
not concern you because you are not really there. Professor Lloyd is stating that people live in
this imaginary world that they do things through technology that they will probably never
actually do in person, which deprives them from the real world. The only type of relationship
that will exist in the future, if we are not careful, is the individual and their technology.
People especially family and friends always say they have each others back and that
nothing will ever push them apart, but certain things change that, especially one thing called
social media. Through social media someone can be living a completely different life and just
forget who they really are and ignore reality. As a family therapist Katherine M Hertlein states,
We can become frustrated if one does not return our call, since we know how very easy it is to
respond; we may wonder how that long and thoughtful email we wrote was received; we may
feel neglected when ones interaction with the computer overrides their attention to us. She says
this about the feelings that one has when their attention is being replaced by technology. During
holidays, parties or family reunions it is time for everyone to be together, share memories and
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have good laughs, but that is not what happened anymore. Everyone that is at an event are either
on their phones or computers ignoring the ones that surround them. Also when people are out
with their real friends that tend to ignore them for the people online and it seems very
unnecessary because they are not real and they are not there in person to make memories with.
People are constantly missing out on the opportunity to create lasting memories with old and
new friends, but do not seem to take their hands off technology. Now our phones are practically
being use in almost every aspect of our daily lives. It becomes this addiction; some sorts of drug
that people use to make themselves feel better and accepted by others. With all the good that
technology provides danger does not seem to fall far behind. Cell phones are constantly being
used in our daily lives as a way to connect with others instead of physically meeting with them.
Not only does technology ruin family and friends relationship it can also bring danger to
individuals life.
Although technology has helped a lot of crimes to be solved it has also been the biggest
reason for crimes to occur. Technology can lead many to be in dangerous situations especially by
using the internet with strangers. For example a parents worst fear is for their children to be in a
dangerous situation or talk to a stranger that might not be safe to be around. With the internet it is
not easily avoidable to meet a predator or log into an adult website. In an interview with Josh
Mrozinski, Ms. McCloskey says About 30 percent of youths online receive nude and seminude
pictures. In some cases, juveniles send pictures to their friends, and that could be considered
possession of child pornography. Now it is much easier for predators to communicate with
children through technology, specifically the internet. There are people out there that can hack
computers or phones and can steal information like an address or a social security number and
they do all this on the technology that is being created. These advances in technology seem to be
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helping, but in actuality it is just causing more danger to everyone whether they are an adult or a
child. Another major danger that has been increasing every year is cyber bullying. Before, the
only bullying that existed was in person, but now it is viral. David McNamee in his article
Cyber bullying causes suicidal thoughts in kid more than traditional bullying states, The
relationship between cyber bullying and suicide has only been explored in a few studies, but
evidence has suggested that cyber bullying is as equal a risk factor for suicidal ideation-thoughts
about suicide- as traditional bullying. Negative comments can be posted, pictures can be
exposed and lives can be ruined because technology is being used to mentally and emotionally
break down someone, avoiding the much trouble one will get if they physically hurt someone.
Technology has no positive help in the lives of children especially the unlimited amount of
internet access that is available. It has reached the point where the childs education is useless
and they depend on technology to do everything for them.
All the time spent in school to learn vocabulary, writing and communication skills
becomes a complete waste of time because people depend on technology such as cell phones and
computers to do all the work for them and not learn on their own. In the old days, not so long
ago, students depended on teachers, books and stories to learn anything and everything they
needed to know to be successful in life. Now all students do is depend on technology to provide
answers and do not really care about the information that is needed to understand something.
Most schools are using computers instead of books to learn. It has become a distraction for the
individual teachers and others students. Samantha Mendoza in her article Technology in the
classroom hinders learning states While they seem interested in what the professor is lecturing,
they are on Facebook chatting with friends. It distracts students from retaining information
during lecture. Many might think it is a way to save paper and money, but it is actually making
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the students become very lazy and uninterested in learning new things. By using computers and
having internet access during school hours it makes the brain not as active as if students had to
actually look and think about the answers. Technology has made cheating easier than ever
before, with less chances of actually getting caught. Communication skills are not being taught
as much anymore because the teachers are also dependent on technology. The way people text or
type are mostly abbreviations and if a student or someone is typing a report or essay and
misspells a word the computer automatically fixes it for them, which does not benefit the person
at all. Dictionaries and Encyclopedias are a waste and not used as much as before in the days
when technology was not so advanced and prevalent. School is just becoming another place
where students can ignore their surroundings, teachers and education to focus on their social
media status.
As years pass by any and every type of technology will be so advanced to the point where
the only type of interaction between humans will be through the movement of fingers such as the
internet, blogging, and social media. People are constantly depending on technology to feel some
sort of happiness/acceptance, but do not realize that the feelings are suppose to be between
people not things. It is destroying the human society in every possible way that it can. They say
People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in
chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used. Technology in general
deprives people from having any type of interaction/relationship in real with life human beings.
Maree Conway a blogger says And we hear, more generally, that all this technology that we
now have at our fingertips is dumbing us down She explains the future in relationships.
Conway is basically explaining that there is nothing positive coming out of technology and it
takes us away from opportunities to explore connections with other humans. Even though
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Technology has helped with a lot of things it will never stop being a big problem in relationships
and communication between individuals today, tomorrow or in the future.





















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Work Cited
Conway, Maree. The Future of Relationships. ThinkingFutures, 4.2 (2011),
20 April 2014
Lloyd, Margaret. There, Yet Not There: Human Relationships with Technology. Journal of
Learning Design, 3.2 (2010); 1-13.
20 April 2014

Hertlein, Katherine M, and Megan Webster. Technology, Relatonships, and Prolems: A
Research Synthiesis. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 34.4 (2008): 445-460.
26 April 2014

Bancroft, Dvid.Dangers in Technology. Daily Examiner, (2009): 10.
26 April 2014
Mrozinski, Josh. Forum Informs Parents of Dangers