Ali Mares

Ms. Burrows
Intro to English Composition
02/07/2014
Section 1: What I already know
I chose a topic on Relationships because it hits close to home. In my life, Ive built
emotional bonds with many others including my family, friends and peers. This topic will allow
me to express the many different ways in which relationships effect life in present as well as the
future effects those bonds can create. I found this topic of interest because it can be perceived
in a variety of different ways. One might perceive this to be a topic about family or about the
effects our loved ones have on us. It can show how a foster child might have a different
perspective than a kid who is raised by his or her own family. This topic can be perceived by the
influence our friends have on us or even the influence our enemies have on us.
My personal background on this topic is quite extensive. Not on the statistics and facts
but on the personal experience. Being a child of 7 and a step daughter, I have experienced
many forms of family relationships. Not only am I familiar with the family relationship aspect
but I also have a brief knowledge of making new friends and what to look for in a friend to help
lighten your personal qualities. Relationships are what shape us into the individuals that we
develop into. They cater to our emotions and force us to look deep within ourselves in order to
establish a true ground for growing emotionally as well as mentally.
Relationships help develop our mental stability, our awareness of others and our social
aspects of life. Healthy relationships are directly related to communication and allowing
ourselves the (sometimes) needed outlets to express our emotions instead of bottling them up
inside. We are able to vent and allow ourselves time to recoup from difficult and rather
stressful times. They help us to find a core sense of compassion for others around us. They also
help us develop a sense of pride and the ability to listen and share our ideas with others
through social communication.
Section 2: What I want to find out
Human relationships are a topic of interest because I found it to be challenging. It forces
me to dig deeper as I question, What are the effects of a positive relationship opposed to a
negative one, short term as well as long term?" and How can relationships affect the state of
being we are in?
Throughout my lifetime Ive noticed a spike in the mental disabilities throughout the
nation as well as an increase in foster children. Could these two factors coincide with one
another? Is this a result of the negative influences of their mentors? On the other end of the
spectrum, there are rational, successful people who have a positive effect on society. Is this a
result of the positive influences of their mentors?
Ive noticed a difference in moral values between myself and my peers. Outside of
things such as social media and religion, is this the influence of the direct relationships we were
subjected to as children? I would like to know if those effects can be reversed if we grow up and
make new relationships with positive or negative acquaintances. Could a person who has been
subjected to negative influences from childhood later meet someone who has a profound
positive effect on them change their way of life for the better? Or vice versa, could a person
who has been subjected to positive influences their whole life later change their perspective on
life negatively due to encountering a profound negative influence? It is my belief that the
relationships we are exposed to as children map out our moral compass in which we live our
life.
Section 3: The Search
I started my search at Your Friends Teens Influence and Peer Relationships. This site
gave me a great starting place because it gave broad information about my topic and fed me
information that could support many different subtopics. Next, I wanted to find out how
dominant a role relationships played in our lives, so I visited Healthy Relationships Lead to
Better Lives. This site narrowed my topic down a little bit because it explained the significance
a relationship has on our lives.
Egging to dig a little deeper, I thought about particular relationships and role models.
Role models play a large part of our lives. They are what influence us, or me at least, to do
things be it successful or foolish actions. On the topic of role models, I encountered a
realization- our parents fall under one of the most respected, looked up to people. In most
cases, children yearn to be like their parents and strive to impress them. This realization
brought me to the site Positive and Negative Effects Parents Have. This site narrowed my
topic to a narrower topic. I was able to focus solely on the effect our idols, parents especially,
have on our morals and values.
If parents play such a dominant role in our lives, what about children who dont grow up
with their own parents? Do they simply bond to another authoritative person in their life or do
they look up to other children much like themselves? This burning question led me to my
research at Children, Families and Foster Care. This site gave me valuable information about
the perspective of children who dont grow up with their parents.
Section 4: What I Learned
Everyone including children, teens and adults all has an idol; we all look up to someone.
Our idols help determine our personal value. How they see us, plays a significant role in how we
see ourselves. That self- identity determines how we perceive life; it determines our morals and
values. Something as little as how our parents see us can determine our views on everything as
we grow up!
Our role models essentially determine the relationship teens make with their peers. As
children, we learn from the actions of others around us. We also grow a self-identity by the
influences around us. If there are positive influences, the child is more likely to have a better
self-esteem than a child who has negative influences who is more likely to have a lower self-
esteem. The way we see ourselves determines our ability to contribute to healthy relationships.
In the article, Your Teens Friends Influence and Peer Relationships Shelderwood states that,
The ability to develop healthy friendships and peer relationships depends on a teen's self-
identity, self-esteem, and self-reliance (Shelderwood, 4.2). Our ability to make friendships as a
young adult is based on the way we see ourselves and the way we see ourselves is illustrated by
the hands of our role models.
Parents play a dominant role in our lives. They are the first role models we have as
children and their influence impacts our self-image immensely. Are their influences always
positive? If not, what effects do negative influences lead to? In the site, Positive and Negative
Effects Parents Have Alice Drinkworth supports the idea that positive influences in childrens
life induce positive behavior whereas negative influences lead to negative behavior. Drinkworth
states that, Teens with involved parents have better self-esteem and perform better in school
(Drinkworth, 2.2). Vice versa, children with negative influences are more likely to live a
sedentary life (Drinkworth, 3.4). If parents play such a large role in our lives, what about the
children who grow up without parents?
I learned that children such as foster children, who dont grow up with their parents,
struggle at finding a positive view of them. In a study, Development outcomes and Children in
Foster Care, Brenda Jones Harden addresses the effect of foster care opposed to growing up
with your parents. Many studies of foster children postulate that a majority have mental
health difficulties (Harden, 7.44). Foster children are often moved from home to home
struggling to find a stable secure home. This affects their ability to build a relationship with
superiors in turn affecting their own mental health. Many foster children not only struggle with
mental health difficulties such as depression, anxiety and other mental problems but many also
struggle with academic schooling as well.
Essentially, the overall moral I learned from this search is that our role models play an
immense role in our lives. Those whom I look up to to determine how I view myself and the
decisions I make in life. They determine our views and our morals. In a much larger aspect, they
conduct the orchestra we call life.












Section 5: Work Cited
Drinkworth, Alice. "Positive and Negative Influences of Parents on Their Children." Positive and
Negative Influences of Parents on Their Children. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Feb. 2014.
<http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/positive-negative-influences-parents-children-
6070.htmlv>.
Harden, Brenda Jones`. "The Future of Children, Princeton - Brookings: Providing research and
analysis to promote effective policies and programs for children.." - The Future of
Children -. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Feb. 2014.
<http://futureofchildren.org/publications/journals/article/index.xml?journalid=40&artic
leid=133ionid=874>.
Johnson, Teddi Dineley. "Healthy relationships lead to better lives." Healthy relationships lead
to better lives. N.p., n.d. Web. 8 Feb. 2014.
Lickerman, Alex. "The Importance of Good Influences." The Importance of Good Influences.
N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Feb. 2014. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-
world/201004/the-importance-good-influences>.
http://thenationshealth.aphapublications.org/content/41/2/20.full>.
Shelderwood. "Focus Adolescent Services: Your Teen's Friends - Peer Influence & Peer
Relationships." Focus Adolescent Services: Your Teen's Friends - Peer Influence & Peer
Relationships. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Feb. 2014.
<http://www.focusas.com/PeerInfluence.html>.