Courtesy comes from old French 'courteis' (12th century) and is gentle politeness and courtly

manners. In the Middle Ages in Europe, the behaviour expected of the gentry was compiled in
courtesy books. One of the most influential of these was Il Cortegiano (The Courtier) which not only
covered basic etiquette and decorum but also provided models of sophisticated conversation and
intellectual skill.[1]

In medieval India too, nobility and royalty were expected to display courteous behaviour. The
concept was described by the Sanskrit word, daksinya, which meant "kindness and consideration
expressed in a sophisticated and elegant way".[2]

Erasmus of Rotterdam published his book On Good Manners for Boys in 1530. Amid his advice for
young children on fidgeting, yawning, bickering and scratching he highlights that a core tenet of
manners is the ability to readily ignore the faults of others but avoid falling short yourself.[21]

In centuries since then, many authors have tried to collate manners or etiquette guide books. One of
the most famous of these was Emily Post who began to document etiquette in 1922. She described
her work as detailing the trivialities of desirable everyday conduct but also provided descriptions
of appropriate conduct for key life events such as baptisms, weddings and funerals. She later
established an institute which continues to provide updated advice on how to negotiate modern day
society with good manners and decorum. The most recent edition of her book provides advice on
such topics as when it is acceptable to unfriend someone on Facebook and who is entitled to which
armrest when flying.[22] Etiquette books such as these as well as those by Amy Vanderbilt,[23]
Hartley,[24] Judith Martin,[25] and Sandi Toksvig[26] outline suggested behaviours for a range of
social interactions. However, all note that to be a well-mannered person one must not merely read
their books but be able to employ good manners fluidly in any situation that may arise.