NARRATIVE WRITING

A Narrative is a broad term which includes autobiographical or fictional writing. An

autobiographical writing or personal narrative tells a story from the writers personal experience in
the first person point of view.
We shall focus on show not tell writing also called magnify the moment. You will develop
narrative writing strategies and devices to bring your story to life as well as learn how to begin and
end the narrative.
We have to make the examiner ENJOY reading our narratives/compositions. This means they have to
be:
INTERESTING
EXCITING
REALISTIC BELIEVABLE
Heres how to make the examiner enjoy our narratives. We have to put in the INGREDIENTS to make
our essays tasty.
The INGREDIENTS are:
1. HAPPENINGS
2. ACTIONS
3. REACTIONS
4. THOUGHTS
5. FEELINGS
6. MEMORIES
7. CONVERSATION
8. EXCLAMATION
9. DESCRIPTION
10. HUMOUR




Divide your story into three (3) distinct parts, and how to make each part work.
PART 1: BEFORE the event: the beginning (paragraphs 1 and 2)
PART 2: The EVENT: the middle (paragraphs 3, 4 and 5)
PART 3: AFTER the event: the ending (paragraph 6)
Paragraph 1 should tell the reader about TIME, PLACE, MOOD and BACKGROUND CIRCUMSTANCES
(not too much). Too Much Information in the opening paragraph will reveal too much.
The story will end right there.
Paragraph 2 should make use of DESCRIBING SKILLS and should also give the reader an idea of THE
PROBLEM because we know that every interesting story presents a problem that the
characters have to deal with somehow.
Paragraph 3, 4 & 5 The middle part of the story is where the main events must happen, and where
we have to CREATE the HIGH POINT by making very good use of ALL our story
ingredients.
Paragraph 6 It is NOT a good idea to end our story by dropping it like a hot potato. Instead,
we should end it by using two or three of the story ingredients to round off the
situation. And to show that, in one way or another, the characters have dealt
with the PROBLEM.
MORE WRITING TIPS
In our narratives, we have to describe other necessary things such as:
1. DESCRIBE PEOPLE to make them interesting.
- Tell what the person thinks and says about himself.
- Tell what other people think and say about him.
- Tell how he treats others and how they treat him.
- Tell one thing that he likes or likes to do.
- Tell one thing that he hates or hates to do.
- Tell one of his habits, good or bad.
- Tell something REMARKABLE he once did.
-
2. DESCRIBE PLACES so that our reader can easily imagine them.

3. DESCRIBE THINGS to make them come alive.
4. DESCRIBE what we SEE, HEAR, SMELL, TASTE, TOUCH and FEEL. (Use your 5 senses to describe
things, places and events).
In our narrative, we have to use heaps of VOCABULARY to prevent us from repeating the
words,
SAID ASKED TOLD RAN THOUGHT

There are KILLER WORDS which can ruin our essays through mindless, boring repetition.
These words should NOT be used more than two or three times.

KILLER WORDS AS, SO, WHEN, THEN, AFTER, BECAUSE

These narrative killers actually slow down the movement of your story. They feel like cobweb
in the readers face, preventing him from getting where he wants to go. Unfortunately,
students like to sprinkle these words all over their essays like raisins in a fruit cake. The truth is,
most of the time they are not necessary at all. They are just a bad habit. You must proofread
your work (look over your work carefully) and eliminate killer words before handing in your
work.

AVOID KILLER WORDS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!

In narrative writing, creative/interesting story starters, for example dialogue/conversation
must be used. Long conversations do not make good stories. We should KEEP
CONVERSATIONS BRIEF.

Our characters should always have NAMES since a nameless character is very boring or do not
seem real. Even if your character is a snake, give it a name. Remember too that Sir and
Miss are NOT names. Teachers have names: Mr. Harris, Mrs. Khan or Miss Potter.


Read the following examples.

- There was this man who lived opposite to us. BAD
- T.J. Washington was a man who lived opposite to us. GOOD

- A crazy woman jumped up and started singing. BAD
- Crazy Carmen, the vagrant, jumped up and started singing. GOOD

- The fat boy in our class is a real clown. BAD
- Jeremy, the fat boy in our class, is a real clown. GOOD

- A teacher saw them and reported them to the Principal. BAD
- Mr. Alexander saw them and reported them to Mr. Hinds, our Principal. GOOD

- The neighbours cat ate my pet bird. BAD
- Twinkles, my neighbours cat, ate Chirpy, my pet bird. GOOD

You are allowed to use nicknames too, even they are silly names.


Stick to the tense in which you began the story. Do not change back and forth from Present to
Past and back again to Present. This is a bad thing. If this happens, we will get a poor mark.

We have to be extremely careful about our handwriting, spelling, punctuation and grammar.

We have to edit (look over and correct) our work before we hand it in.

We must READ and INTERPRET our prompt very, very, carefully before we even start to write.




Before starting to write immediately like crazy people we should give ourselves THINKING
TIME. THINKING TIME allows us to:

I. think carefully about the prompt, then plan
II. decide what THE PROBLEM in our story is going to be
III. decide what interesting/exciting things we want to happen in paragraphs 3,4 and 5
IV. decide how we want our story to end

AFTER, we have thought carefully about these things, written our plan, that is when we begin
to write, NOT BEFORE.

We shall continue to use the WRITING PROCESS:
Prewriting
First Draft
Revising
Editing &
Publishing


















STORY BEGINNING, MIDDLE AND END AGAIN

A beginning (Lead/Expostiion) to introduce the setting and the characters
- establish self as narrator
- capture the readers interest
- set-up the situation and orient the reader


A middle (Rising Action) to present the scene in detail

-Use show not tell also called magnify the moment to slow the pace and elaborate
key moments of the incident/conflict in a sequence (plot) that builds to a climax.

An engaging story will include some of the following strategies and devices.

- naming (specific names of people, objects, quantities, numbers)
- visual details of the scene, objects, people (size, colour, shape, dress)
- sensory details (sounds, smells, tastes)
- feelings revealed through body language
- significant bits of dialogue
- interior monologue (writers inner thoughts)
- suspense or tension
- pacing (slowing down or speeding up)
- surprise
- humour or sarcasm
- figurative Language -(simile, metaphor, imagery, idiom, onomatopoeia, alliteration,
hyperbole and others)


An ending (Resolution)
- bring the narrative/autobiographical incident to conclusion
- describe remembered feelings, understanding, reflections and insights at the time
- evaluate the significance now: looking back, Now I realise Still to this day.. I
learned






STORY BEGINNINGS
Writing a good beginning
Story Leads
Leads/Beginnings for: Friend to the Rescue
Begin with the setting
All eyes turned on me, the new girl, as I boarded the school bus the first day. I was wearing
my brand new clothes and my brand new shoes. I even had a brand new hairstyle, but no one even
noticed. They just focus on my big green eye glasses. Unfortunately, my new, cool glasses had not
arrived yet. I felt their cold stares and watched lips curl up into snickers, as their cruel laughter
echoed up the aisles.

Begin with a question
Have you ever experienced your worst nightmare?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be to have an entire busload of kids laughing at you?
Have you ever been humiliated?
Begin with a spoken line
May I sit here? I choked, as I tried to ignore the cruel laughter and find a seat on the crowded
school bus.

Begin with a dialogue
Bye, dear, have a great first day at school. My mom hugged me at the door as I headed for
the school bus.
Bye, Mom. I cant wait to meet some new friends here in Vacaville. I smiled, glad school was
starting at last. I had no idea what lay ahead for me that day before I finally made a new friend.



Begin with how you felt
I have to admit I was nervous. I was wearing a brand new top with matching shorts and cute
new shoes, but I was embarrassed about my out-of-style green glasses. The new frames hadnt
arrived yet. I tried to look relaxed and poised, but inside I felt shaky. My palms sweated, my breath
came in short gasps, and I could barely swallow.
Begin with an action
I check myself in the mirror one last time and headed confidently out the door for the bus stop.
When the school bus pulled up, I climbed up the three steps eagerly until the cruel laughter hit me full
in the face.
Present a problem or mystery
I never imagined how cruel kids could be to a newcomer.
I never realised how cruel kids can be if you arent completely dressed according to the current
fad.
Begin in the middle of an interesting situation
I was trapped. I had to ride all the way to school on the bus knowing all the kids were laughing
at my big green eye glasses. I could hear them making fun of me, but I was too shy to speak up. All I
could do was wait for the bus to stop and release me from the torture.













THE MIDDLE
The High Point
Let us work on this high point together. This is the EVENT part of the story. We have already seen
that PARAGRAPH ONE where we gave our reader TIME, PLACE, MOOD and BACKGROUND
INFORMATION. We do not have to do that again. We have also already seen in PARAGRAPH 2 that
we have gone further into the circumstances of the story. We do not have to do that again. We are
now into the HEART of the story the middle part. We have to write paragraphs 3, 4 and 5. These
paragraphs must provide the high point of the story. This is where we have to use ALL our story
ingredients.
Prompt/Topic: Children were up in Mr. Jones sapodilla tree having great fun when someone spotted
him approaching with a thick stick in his hand. Write a narrative based on these events.
*The instructions tell us that the children were up in the sapodilla tree having great fun when
someone spotted Mr. Jones approaching with a thick stick in his hand. Let us work on these
paragraphs NOW.
PARAGRAPH 3: The children were up in the sapodilla tree having great fun.
Tell about the fun.
What were the children doing?
How were they feeling?
What were they thinking?
Did anyone exclaim about anything?
Can you describe the tree?
Can you describe the fruits?
Can you describe the smells?
Can you describe the sounds?
Did anything FUNNY happen up in the tree or under the tree?
.
There is such a FUND of ideas to write in paragraph 3.

PARAGRAPH 4: Someone spots Mr. Jones approaching with a thick stick in his hand.
Say who spots Mr. Jones.
What does s/he say?
People are going to reach in different ways.
Describe the different reactions and actions.
What are the feelings?
What are the thoughts?
What are the memories?
Does anything funny happen at this point? What? Make something funny happen.
Does anyone exclaim anything? Make someone exclaim something.
.
PARAGRAPH 5: Mr. Jones has a thick stick in his hand. Clearly, he intends to use it.
Does Mr. Jones say anything?
What is his voice like?
How does he look?
What kind of mood is he in?
Does he manage to use his stick on anyone?
Does it make a noise?
Does the person he uses it on make a noise?
Does he catch everybody?
Do some of them get away?
Does anything funny happen as they try to escape?
Are there any interesting thoughts, feelings, memories at this time?
Are there any exclamations?
.
DO NOT END THE STORY. MAKE YOUR MIDDLE INTERESTING AND EXCITING BY USING THE TEN (10)
STORY INGREDIENTS.

THE CONCLUSION: ENDING YOUR STORY
How should you end you story?
Look at the list of story ingredients.
1. HAPPENINGS
2. ACTIONS
3. REACTIONS
4. THOUGHTS
5. FEELINGS
6. MEMORIES
7. CONVERSATION
8. EXCLAMATION
9. DESCRIPTION
10. HUMOUR
You can pick any two or three of these ingredients and end your story with them.
Imagine, for example, that you are writing a story about a lost dog. This dog belonged to a
boy/girl who loved it very much. You get to the end of the story and the dog has not been found.

Here are ways you might end.
HAPPENING, ACTION, THOUGHT
All of a sudden there was wild and excited yapping coming from the bushes at the end of the
road. It sounded very much like Smudge. Laura rushed excitedly down the road Smudge had caught
his foot between two narrow branches and not free himself. Laura happily released him and hugged
him tight. Smudge joyously licked her face. She knew that she would have to protect hem much
better in the future.



THOUGHT, FEELING, MEMORY
Laura was hoping that she would find Smudge the next day, but she had a sinking feeling in her
heart that someone had stolen him and taken him away. She could hardly drive away her melancholy
feelings, but suddenly she remembered that Smudge would often get into the maxi she travelled in,
and curl up under the seat. She felt better already. She would question the maxi driver tomorrow.
ACTION, DESCRIPTION, EXCLAMATION
Very sadly Laura wended her way home. Her shoulders were bowed and her eyes were full of
tears. She kicked a stone out of the way and then grabbed her big to to ease the pain the stone had
caused. The tears came flowing down as she took her shoe off. There was a sudden rush and Smudge
was right there, whining with pleasure and wagging his tail furiously. Smudge, youre here!
squealed Laura ecstatically.



EXPANDING MY VOCABULARY
We are going to start right away by expanding our vocabulary. This will help to make our
expression more interesting.
There are certain words that we use far too much. This makes what we write unnecessarily
boring because there are plenty of alternative words we can use in order to make what we say more
accurate and more exciting.
For example, when we are telling a story, or writing about things that have happened. We
keep on using three VERY TIRED words:
SAID ASKED and TOLD

Yet we all know that there are different ways in which people SAY things and ASK things and
TELL things. Choosing the right word lets everybody know HOW people SAY or TELL or ASK things.
The right word also ADDS EXCITING EXTRA INFORMATION.

Look at the sentences below:
1. Maria said that she had hidden Annas pen.
2. Maria whispered that she had hidden Annas pen.
3. Maria denied that she had hidden Annas pen.
4. Maria confessed that she had hidden Annas pen.
5. Maria chuckled that she had hidden Annas pen.
6. Maria revealed that she had hidden Annas pen.
7. Maria yelled that she had hidden Annas pen.
8. Maria announced that she had hidden Annas pen.

The words in capitals help to make Mariss action more interesting because they give far more
information than said.


WHISPERED tells us that the whole thing is a secret.

DENIED tells us that Maria has been accused. It makes us think she may really be guilty,
and that perhaps she is lying.

CONFESSED tells us Maria has been caught. Maybe she is sorry. She may even be
punished for what she did.

CHUCKLED tells us that Maria thinks the whole thing is a big joke, and that shes
laughing while she tells about it.

REVEALED makes us think that Maria has finally let out the secret after keeping it to
herself for a while.

YELLED makes us think that Maria is teasing Anna in front of everybody.

ANNOUNCED tells us that Maria is quite proud of what she has done.
Now, you can see that SAID didnt do of these things. That is why said is boring.
Look at these sentences:
1. Steve asked Jack to give him a dollar.
2. Steve commanded Jack to give him a dollar.
3. Steve coaxed Jack to give him a dollar.
4. Steve pestered Jack to give him a dollar.
5. Steve begged Jack to give him a dollar.
6. Steve threatened Jack to give him a dollar.
7. Steve encouraged Jack to give him a dollar.
8. Steve convinced Jack to give him a dollar.
The words in capitals make Steves action much more interesting because they give far
more information than ASKED.

COMMANDED tells us that Steve was a bully, and that he was trying to force Jack to give him
his money.
COAXED tells that Steve was sneakily trying to get the money from Jack by talking to him in a
pleasant, friendly way.
PESTERED tells us that Steve was harassing Jack for his money.
BEGGED makes us think that Steve was sounding really pathetic, and trying to make Jack feel
sorry for him.
THREATENED tells us that Steve was trying to frighten Jack by saying he would harm him if he
didnt get the money.
ENCOURAGED lets us know that Steve was trying to make Jack believe that it would be a good
thing to give him the money.
CONVINCED tells us that Steve was actually able to talk Jack into giving him the money.
Once again, you can see that ASKED did not do any of those things. This is why we really MUST try to
choose a better and more interesting word.











Coming up now are sixty-one (61) words for you to STUDY & LEARN so you can use them
intelligently in your writing.
SAID ASKED TOLD
Agreed appealed announced
Argued applied for bade
announced begged blabbed
Claimed cajoled blurted out
commented coaxed confessed
confessed commanded confided
declared demanded disclosed
emphasized entreated explained
exclaimed implored indicated
Insisted interrogated informed
proclaimed inquired instructed
remarked pestered mentioned
revealed petitioned narrated
shouted pleaded notified
Stated prayed ratted
stressed Pried related
Swore queried reported
Vowed questioned revealed
Whispered quizzed squealed
Yelled requested wailed/wept





EXPANDING MY VOCABULARY

Yesterday we learnt many words that can be used instead of SAID, TOLD and ASKED. There are many
other words which have to do with speaking. We should learn these as well. The more we know, the
better our expression can become, and the more interesting our writing will be. Let us try to learn
about a hundred or more words for SAYING, TELLING and ASKING.

address Disagree lisp rant
Allege Drawl mumble recite
Boast Drone mutter peel off
Brag dwell on muse refuse
Chat Exclaim object repeat
chatter Express oppose retort
complain Falter pipe up spout
confirm Gossip point out squawk
contradict Hint prattle squeak
converse jabber preach stammer
compliment lecture promise stutter
deny lie/deceive pray utter




Here is an interesting activity I found. I am sincerely grateful to the creator. It allows you to practise
your SAID WORDS.
1. State one word which says the person is not speaking the truth. _______________________
2. State one word which tells that the speaker has a harsh, ugly tone. _____________________
3. State one word which tells that the speaker is giving a clue. ____________________
4. State one word which shows the speaker is surprised. ______________________
5. State one word which tells that the speakers voice is boring. ______________________
6. State one word which tells that the speaker sounds crazy. ______________________
7. State one word which tells that the speaker is not sure of the facts. ____________________
8. State one word which tells that the speakers mouth is full. _______________________
9. State one word which tells that the speaker really knows her facts. ____________________
10. State one word which tells that the speaker is talking very slowly. ____________________
11. State one word which shows that is speaker is not satisfied. ______________________
12. State two words which mean talking as if you know everything. _____________, ____________
13. State two words which mean talking in a show-off way. _________________, ______________
14. State two words which can mean talking to an audience. ________________, ______________
15. State two words which tell that the speaker speaks in a small voice. ___________, __________
16. State two words which tell the speaker knows the words by heart. ____________, __________
17. State two words which tell the speaker may be saying things too often. __________________,
____________________, ____________________

18. State three words for saying no. _________________, ________________, ______________

19. State three words which mean speaking far too much. _______________,________________,
_________________

20. State six words which show that the person is not speaking clearly. ___________________,
___________________, _____________________,____________________,
___________________,_____________________

EXPANDING OUR VOCABULARY
Practice:
For EACH of the following sentences, select from your list of words that can be used instead of
ASKED, one word that is appropriate to fill the space.
1. For hours the police ______________________________ the two suspects who continued to
swear that they knew nothing about the crime.

2. My younger sister __________________________ me so many times for my popcorn that I
finally flung the whole bag of popcorn in her face.

3. All the guilty students in Standard Five ______________________________ our class teacher
to give everyone whose signature was on the letter a second chance.

4. On bended knee the princess ______________________________ the wicked witch to release
her from the evil spell.

5. In a loud, rough voice, the bandit ___________________________ the shoppers to lie on the
floor.

6. I really didnt wait to go to the mall with my friends, but I decided to go along when they
________________________ me.






Please carefully check over your work. Read each sentence to ensure that it makes sense.


EXPANDING MY VOCABULARY
Practice:
For EACH of the following sentences, select from your list of words that can be used instead of
SAID OR TOLD, one word that is appropriate to fill the space.

1. My mother did not allow me to go to the movies with my friends on Saturday so Marsha
__________________________ the whole story to me over the telephone when she got
home.

2. Mr. Bates __________________________ the boys that if they continued to stone the
mango tree in his yard he would report them to their principal.

3. The moment the principal picked up the thick tamarind whip from his desk, Phillip
____________________________ everything he knew about the missing money.

4. Alicia Murray, our head prefect, mounted the stage and _______________________ the
assembled school that we would have a special holiday on Tuesday to celebrate our
victory.

5. While we were teasing Sean about his haircut yesterday, he ____________________ the
fact that his father is a barber.

6. A group of angry citizens marched down to the police station and __________________
to Sergeant Bellamy that their neighbour was hiding two bandits in his house.

7. None of us knew how to work out the mathematics problem so Mr. Ali went to the
blackboard and __________________________________ how to work it out.


8. After much questioning by her parents, Stella finally broke down and
_____________________ the truth.

9. Last Wednesday, the Water and Sewage Authority (WASA) ________________________
the residents of our neighbourhood that water would be locked off today from 9:00 am
to 5:00 pm.

10. Although the four boys had sworn together that none of them would tell what they had
done, Sheldon sneakily went and ________________________________________ on
them.

11. Several children gave us all kinds of directions, but Traci-Ann ______________________
the best way to get where we were going.

12. By chance Maurice saw the test paper and he _______________________________ all
the right answers to his friends.

13. After the prince had distributed fine gifts to his loyal subjects he ___________________
them farewell and rode off.

14. The whole class was severely punished because we failed to do what our teacher had
___________________________________ us to do.






Please carefully check over your work. Read each sentence to ensure that it makes sense.

EXPANDING MY VOCABULARY
Here is another vocabulary building exercise. It deals with words about THINKING and
FEELING. Many of the best compositions or narratives include THOUGHTS and FEELINGS.
We all know that thinking goes on in our heads, in our minds; so any word about mind
activity is a THOUGHT WORD. We do not have to use think and thought repeatedly. Here
is a list of very useful thought words.



Anticipate Expect Plan Reflect
Assume Figure Plot Remember
Believe Forget Ponder Suppose
Calculate Guess Presume Suspect
Concentrate Hope Realise Study
Contemplate Imagine Reason Wish
Consider Intend Recall Wonder
Decide Know Recollect Worry
Dream Muse Reckon Understand

*Try to add your own think words.

Now we come to the FEELING WORDS. Everyone knows there are good feelings and
bad feelings but it is just too babyish to limit our expression to feeling bad and feeling
good. People have all kinds of different feelings. From the extensive lists we have, it should
not be difficult for us to answer the question, Feeling how?.




FEELING HOW

LINE 1 LINE 2 LINE 3 LINE 4 LINE 5
1. Affectionate Dissatisfied left out rebellious welcomed
2. Agitated Embarrassed limp responsible wicked
3. Alarmed Energetic listless rested worried
4. Amazed Excited lonely romantic bored
5. Angry Foolish lost serene eager
6. annoyed frightened melancholy silly heavy-hearted
7. anxious Furious merry sorry famished
8. cantankerous generous miserable spiteful exasperated
9. cautious Guilty mulish stubborn offended
10. concerned harassed naughty sympathetic vulnerable
11. content heart-broken nervous tense relieved
12. Crabby Hopeful numb terrified elated
13. Cranky hopeless panicky tired lost
14. Daring ill-tempered paranoid uncomfortable confused
15. dejected Irritated patient unhappy
16. Determined Itchy quarrelsome upset
17. Disappointed Jolly queasy vexed
18. Disgusted jumpy ravenous weary
*Try to fill the blank spaces with your own think words.



Vocabulary Expansion: THOUGHT WORDS

Fill each blank with an appropriate THOUGHT word.

Andy was certain that he________________________ all the answers to most of the questions
on the test. He _______________________ that if there were any difficult ones he would
_____________________ the answer and ___________________ that there were right. He
____________________ that they were right. He _____________________ himself getting full marks
and being congratulated for is excellent work. Unfortunately, Andy did not _____________________
that there were going to be two tests including a re-test from the week before. Now he was
____________________ how he would deal with this problem for he ____________________ that
getting good answers on the re-test was going to be hard for him. He quickly opened his notebook
and tried to _____________________ as much as he could in a few minutes. He had to
____________________ whether it would be safe for him to hide the notebook somewhere and copy
from it. He ____________________ it could be done if he was careful. But now he
______________________ that Mr. Ferguson was reading his mind. Andy was now beginning to
____________________ that perhaps Mr. Ferguson _________________ what he was
____________________ to do. NO, impossible! Mr. Ferguson was just ____________________ on
what he was doing. Andy relaxed.
THOUGHTS WORDS
assume believe calculate consider
concentrate decide discover dream
Guess hope imagine Intend
invent know meditate memorize
Plan ponder presume puzzle over
realize recall recognise recollect
reflect remember sense suppose
suspect wonder worry


EXPANDING MY VOCABULARY
Okay, so we know that we do not want to use the same old boring words all the time, but the words to
do with SPEAKING, SAYING, ASKING and TELLING are not the only words we need to think about.
One totally worn out, weary, exhausted word which students overwork is the word RAN. In the essays
that students write for me there is so much running that it makes ME tired.
Ran is not the only word in the dictionary. Is that the only word to explain how fast someone is
moving? Of course not. Well know heaps of word that are excellent substitutes for the word RAN. Its just
that students can never be bothered to think about them. Well, let us look at the following list of RAN words.
We shall study them and practise using them.
WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS MEANING RAN
beat a hasty retreat scooted darted away
bolted made a sudden burst of speed scurried ran, shot off
Chased scuttled bolted in fear
darted ran like a mouse Scrambled
Dashed shot off ran like a bullet
Escaped Sped
Fled split got out of there fast
flew ran like the wind Sprinted
galloped away ran heavily spurted made a burst of speed
hastened away took to his/her heels
hurried off/away tore ran away wildly
hustled off/away went like the wind
made a dash for it Zipped past/across/ahead
made good his/her escape zoomed past/away
raced off/away made a quick getaway
Rushed
scampered ran hastily/suddenly/made a
quick getaway

*Try to fill the blank spaces with your own think words.


THE CHASE
Choose your RAN words carefully and wisely so that your substitute words work well in the story.

With the security guard and two police officers behind them, the robbers RAN
down the street, hoping to find an open gateway. Pretty soon, as they RAN, they
spotted Mrs. Corbie just about to back her car out of her yard. They RAN towards her,
pushed her aside, RAN into her yard, through her flower beds and down to her
backyard. They leapt over the wall straight into Mr. Duncans bed of sweet pepper and
melongene plants. Mr. Duncan picked up his cutlass and, swearing at the bandits, RAN
after them to the front of his house, where, once again, the men scaled the wall and
landed in Sandhill Street.
There, they RAN in two different directions. Mr. Duncan RAN after the bandit in
the blue shirt, while the police officers RAN after the robber in the snake tattoo on his
neck. At this point, the security guard RAN back to his office where the robbery had
taken place.
The snake tattoo bandit seemed to be growing tired so he quickly ducked into a
narrow yard and hid behind a pile of old wood. Two fat rats RAN out of the pile just as
the two officers RAN up to the location. One officer, unaware, RAN past the yard, but
the other, seeing the RUNNING rats, RAN straight towards the pile of wood. Tattoo
Neck RAN out of there as though the devil was at his heels, but the officers were too
swift for him. He was soon in handcuffs.
Meanwhile, Mr. Duncans bandit, by making many twists and turns, found himself
right back on the street where he had committed the crime. Unfortunately for him, he
RAN straight into the arms of the security guard.




















Linking Statements of Feeling to Body Language
We all go through many feelings everyday. Some common feelings include:
Angry Frustrated bored thrilled
Nervous disappointed anxious worried
peaceful Shy scared sleepy
worn out Serious playful silly

These feelings and many more can be observed directly in body language. You can find evidence of
feelings in the facial and body expressions and actions.
eyes mouth face throat voice breathing heart gut arms
hands shoulders posture movement speed actions fits gestures

A. Sally feels sad, is not very interesting. How can we show her sadness?

Her eyes = puffy redness, watery, looking down, tears trickling down cheeks and overflowing.
Her mouth = dropping with lips quivering, hard to swallow
Her body posture = dragging her feet, bent over, limp, alone, pushing people away,
headdown, wiping tears

Now we can compose several sentences to show Sally is sad.

B. Joe is sleepy. How can we sho his sleepiness?

His eyes = half shut, heavy eyelids, drooping
His mouth = yawning, snoring
His body = head falls on arms, relaxed, peaceful

Joe yawns as heavy eyelids droop half shut.
Slowly his head falls on his arms an he snores peacefully.

C. Vanessa is shy.

Her eyes = looking away or down, avoiding eye contact, uncomfortable
Hands = held behind the back, Clutched in fornt, covering face
Voice = whisper, mumblled, fades out

Vanessa clutched her hands in front of her and avoided all eye contact.
Her quiet whisper faded out until I couldnt even hear her speak.

Here are some more notes. Turn them into showing body language.
1. Bored
Eyes = dull, glazed, unfocused, flat, wandering
Voice = whining, complaining, sighing, weary, Do I have to? Thats boring!
Body Language = chin resting in hand, slouching, yawning, fidgeting, off task

2. Scared
Face = pale, eyes alert, mouth quivering, teeth chattering, no voice
Body = shivering, shaking, quivering, sweating, frozen, paralyzed, stop-in-your tracks
Heart = beats faster, pounding
Stomach = tight, twisted, knot or butterflies inside

3. Disappointed
Eyes = tearful, red deep, downcast, troubled, frowning
Hands = shaking, crumpled, numb, hanging limply, dangling
Body = slouched, tight muscles, wrinkled, no energy, pounding table

4. Thrilled
Eyes = wide, big, reflective, sparkling, smiling, darting wildly, flashing, surprised
Mouth = wide open, exclaiming, Oh my! Right on! Hooray!
Movement = waving hands, squirming, wiggling, fidgeting, bouncy, lively, animated, eager

5. Angry
Eyes = focused, glaring, unfriendly, sparks,fiery, mean
Face = tense, tight, pulled, grimace, snarl, contorted
Voice = loud, pushy, insistent, demanding, ugly, mean
Actions = pounding fist, kicking, threatening gesture with hands

Now choose the most exact details for the situation you are describing. Write one or two details in
each sentence. Connect the details so we know how things fit together.
Hes a first draft of feeling scared.
Josh heard a dish crash downstairss in the middle of the night. His eyes were big and bold. His
teeth were girinding. His body was shaking. His heart was beating faster.

Heres a revised draft with more connection, detail and action words.
Josh jerked awake when a dish crashed downstairs in the middle of the night. His frightened
eyes pierced the dark. His teeth chattered and his body shook uncontrollably. His heart pounded
faster and faster as the long minutes passed in silence.

MORE USEFUL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
Peoples facial expressions often show what they are feeling or thinking.
They lower their eyes their eyes twinkle/sparkle happily
Raise their eyebrows look hurt
Shut their eyes look sad
Look down/look up they wink
Open their eyes wide they stare
They look spiteful they eyes burn with rage
Bite their lips their mouths open wide
They purse their lips their jaws drop
They smile they laugh out loud
They pout they smirk
They frown they look suspicious
They look angry they glare

MORE USEFUL BODY LANGUAGE EXPRSSIONS
People reveal what they are feeling or thinking by the things they do with their heads, shoulders,
chests, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes or their whole bodies. Characters whose bodies do
nothing are DEAD.
People nod shake their heads
Bow their heads scratch their heads
Hold their heads high shrug their shoulders
Push back their shoulders push out their chests
Wave their arms wave goodbye
Open their arms in welcome poke someone wih a finger
Jab someone punch someone
Slap someones face drum the table
Crack their knuckles bite their fingernails
Lick their fingers suck their thumbs
Shake their hips, wine walk, run,rush, kick stamp drag their feet
Wiggle their toes they crawl under a table
Wriggle out of a tight spot jump when they are scared

Leap over a fence to get away lie flat on the ground and play dead
Squeaze into a tight place to hide hearts pound/race
AND MANY MORE!!!

REMEMBER:
Make the people in your stories act as if they are real people. Real people react with facial
expressions and body language. Only DEAD people do nothing.

Remember People React. Write about reactions:
They do things.
They say things.
They think things.
They feel things.
They remember things.
Their facial expressions change.
Their body language changes.