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Theresa Navarro
Professor Ditch
English 113A, 3:30pm
30 September 2014
The Gender Roles from Parent Norms
In the articles, Women, Men, and Society 2003, Claire Renzetti & Daniel Curran and
No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to Childrens Gender
Nonconformity (2006), by Emily Kane both authors support their explanations of how parents
follow the same actions of how they believe a child should dress and act when it comes to same
sex and gender by demonstrating the parent norms of how they want their children to have the
same gender role as their sex because of the fact that most parents dont want their childrens
gender to be misidentifies. In todays American society, most parents still follow the parent
norms of the son only having a masculine side and the daughter to only have a feminine side just
to make sure that their children have the same gender as their sex. In my life, Ive noticed that
parent norms are happening around me with relatives and even in my personal experience of
when I was a child. Parent norms are something most people grow up with when it comes to
dressing, playing, or other masculine/feminine traits that children will experience in their lives
and there are different parent norms of parents who accept and dont accept the different gender
and sex performance.
As a parent norm, it is expected for parents to have certain expectations based on the sex
of the baby they are having. In Renzetti & Currans article, it states Parent do have different
expectations of their babies and treat them differently, simply on the basis of sex. (Renzetti &
Curran 2003, 76) for instance, when parents are expecting a boy, they expect and want him to
play sport, play with cars, and wear blue. They expect him to get dirty and misbehave, but when

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it comes to girls there are different expectations. For example, parents who follow the parent
norms would expect that the girl wears pink, play with dolls, and wear skirts that have glitter.
They also expect her to behave and stay clean. These are examples of what is expected to come
out when a parent follows the parent norms that has been constructed over generations.
Moreover, following the parent norms, parents usually dont want other people to
misidentify their daughters or sons gender as the opposite of their sex. In fact, Renzetti & Curran
mentions in their article that parents put effort into ensuring that others identify their childs sex
correctly. (Renzetti & Curran 2003, 77) A parent who has a girl will pierce her ears, put her in a
dress that is pink & has glitter, and theyll even put a hair band on her just to inform others that
she is a girls both in gender and in sex. Its a natural thing for parents to want to justify their
childrens sex and gender because of the fact that most people cant tell by looking at the face.
This also proves that these examples are part of the parent norms that people have grown up to
know in the American society.
In addition, when it comes to parent norms, the parent will tell their child that something
their playing with or doing are either only for girls or its only for boys. In Kanes article, she
mentions when their sons are Playing with nail polish and makeup evoked negative
responses (Kane 2006, 93) which will usually have a negative response by the father because
of the fact that hell most likely believe that its not a masculine thing to do. Some parents will
tell their sons that little girls put nail polish on, little boys dont (Kane 2006, 93) just to make
sure that they dont change their gender role or perform a feminine role. This is often something
that parents tell their kids when they do different gender roles from their sex.
Also some parent norms wont let their sons play with nail polish, there are some norms
where parents accepted, and often even celebrated, their sons acquisition of domestic abilities.

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(Kane 2006, 91) Parents who accept the fact that their sons like to play with baby dolls, its their
parent norms. In Kanes article, she explains how parents who accept their sons playing with
feminine toys, see this as a positive thing. This is the difference between the parent norms when
it comes to gender performance.
In extension, I have a brother who has two kids, a boy and a girl. When they found out
that they were having a girl, my family was instantly buying pink dresses, skirts, head bands
shirts that had glitter, etc. But when they had a boy, everyone would talk about how hes going to
play football and basketball. There were different expectations of each of them before they were
born. They were already setting a gender role for each of their kids which follow the parent
norms that Renzetti & Curran explains. Now that my niece is older, her parents still follow some
of the parent norms just not as much as before because of the fact that they cant control
everything she does, theyre more open of what she does and play. With my nephew, his parents
still follow the parent norms because of the fact that hes still a baby so they have more control
of what he wears. When he get a bit older where hes more in control, Im sure theyll still
follow the parent norms. Although their more open about the gender roles, the still follow how
only little girls (Kane 2006, 93) have feminine traits and little boys dont. (Kane 2006, 93)
Also, I have a personal experience of my own. When I was a child my parents always
dressed me up in dresses and did my hair. My parents wanted me to perform a feminine gender
role. For example, may dad would tell my mom to make sure that I never had my hair shorter
than my shoulders because he believes that having short hair were only for boys. Soon enough I
started to believe that too, I never wanted to cut my hair short because of what I was told. When I
was a little girl, my parents had the same parent norms as the one I have said before. In addition,
when I would eat, I would perform a masculine role because of the fact that I would burp. My

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mom and dad would get mad at me because of the fact that Im a girl not a boy. They would
always ask and tell me Are you a boy? No youre not. Only boys burps, girls dont which is
similar to little girls put nail polish on, little boys dont (Kane 2006, 93), just that my
experience is about burping. But now that Im older I still portray a masculine side where I still
burp, but not as much as I did when I was younger. Even as the third child, my parents would
give me a hand me down from my older sister because of the fact that she was a girl and her
clothes were for girls only. My mom wouldnt give my older brothers clothes because then my
appearance would be a boy which is what my parents were avoiding. It was part of the parent
norm to make my gender appearance was and is the same as my sex.
Additionally, I have a cousin who would play with nail polish when he was younger. His
older brother would often make fun of him because of the fact that Kane mentions in her article
that girls put on nail polish (Kane 2006, 93) but his brother wasnt the only one who
disapproved of him performing a feminine role. His mother wouldnt want him to play with nail
polish because she didnt want her son to be gay. He also enjoyed sweeping; my cousin would
often show what we would call a feminine side. The way his mom would react to his feminine
performance would be considering her as following the parent norms. She wanted her son to be
interested in playing with cars rather than playing with nail polish or making a mess instead of
cleaning. Now that hes older he no longer shows a feminine role. The parent norms of telling
him he cant play with nail polish because its not masculine has reflected on how he acts now.
Overall, parent norms still exist in todays American society. People dont realize that
these norms are in our lives and often repeated by generations which are why it still exists today.
No one is aware of these norms, not even the parents who follow these norms. These norms can
happen in anyones lives, even people you know and are close to you. If people pay attention to

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these parent norms, then theyll realize that it has always been happening around them since they
were born. People follow the parent norms of making sure that their child performs the same
gender role as their sex.

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Works Cited
Renzetti, Claire & Curran, Daniel Women, Men, and Society Personal Education, Inc.
Composing Gender, 76-84. (2003)
Kane, Emily. No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to
Childrens Gender Nonconformity Sociologists for Women in Society. Composing
Gender, 91-97. (2006)

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