BroughttoyoubyWinterborn

Jumper:Griffin'sStory(book#3)
by
StevenGould
TorBooksbyStevenGouldChapterOneTheEmptyQuarterChapterTwoLost(andFound)
ChapterThreeBurningBridges
TOR
ATOMDOHERTYASSOCIATESCopyright2007byStevenC.GouldEditedbyBethMeacham
ISBN13:978
ISBN10:076531827X
Content
ChapterFourGrasshoppersandCharcoal
ChapterFiveGoingtoGround
ChapterSixOldPaths
ChapterSevenPunchesandPimples
ChapterEightIncursions
ChapterNineShatteredTiles
ChapterTenTurningtheCorner
ChapterElevenGoingfortheKidney
ChapterTwelveRitesofPassage
ChapterThirteenEndsandBeginnings
TorBooksbyStevenGould:
JumperWildsideHelmBlindWaves
Reflex
Jumper:Griffin'sStory

ChapterOne
TheEmptyQuarter

EverycoupleofmonthsDadandIwouldclimbinthecarandhe'ddriveoutthroughthe
suburbs,outpastthesmalltowns,pastthefarmsandranches,untilwecametowhatI
called
theEmptyQuarter.IsawaBBCspecialonitonceIthoughttheysaidRubyKallie,butnow
I
knowtheyweresayingtheRubalKhalithe"quarterofemptiness."
It'stheseaofsandthatmakesupafifthoftheArabianPeninsula,butforusitcouldmean
DeathValley,ortheGilawilderness,ortheSpanishPyrenees,andonce,itwasanislandin
the
BayofSiamthatwehadtosailasmallboatto.
Butithadtobeemptyithadtobewithoutpeople.ThatwastheonlysafeplacewhereI
coulddoit,whereIcouldpractice.
"Wejustcan'tchanceit,Griff.Youwanttodothis,thisistheonlyway."

WewerelivingintheUnitedStatesthen,fivethousandmilesfromEngland,inSanDiego,
inagarageflatatthenorthendofBalboaPark,butwhenDadsaidthat,wewerea
hundredmileseastoftheflat.We'dtakentheYumacutoff,U.S.98offofInterstate8,andit
washotandwindstheroad.
Iwasonlyninethen,usedtonotknowinganything,alwaysasking,alwayspushing.
"Thenwhydoitatallwhyshouldweeventakethischance?"
Helookedsidewaysatmeandsighed,thenbacktotheroad,swervingslightlytoavoida
bouncingtumbleweedthesizeofaVolkswagen."Itcomesdownto...couldyoudo
that?Couldyouwalkawayfromit?Imean,forme,itwouldbelikespendingtherestofmy
lifeina
wheelchair,eventhoughIcouldstillwalk.I'dbepretendingIcoulddonaught,you
know,makingmyselfdoeverythingthehardwaywhenbyjuststandingupandtakinga
fewstepsIcouldreachthatstuffoffthewheelchairramp,thestuffontheuppershelf."
Hespedupalittleaswereachedarockystretchwheretherewasn'tquitesomuch
blowingsand."And,dammit,it'sagift!Whythehellshouldn'tyoubeabletodoit?
Justbecausethey"Heclampedhismouthshutandlookedbackattheroad.
ForonceIdidn'tpushit.Thereweresomethingsmyparentsjustwouldn'ttalkabout,and
whathappenedbackinOxfordwasoneofthem.WhenI'dfirstjumped,atfive,fromthe
steps
oftheMartyr'sMemorialinfrontofabusloadoftourists.Well,notthen,exactly,butafter,
thethingthatcausedustoleavetheUKandkeepmoving.
Dadbeganwatchingtheodometerclosely,checkingthemap.Hehadn'tbeenthere
beforeourEmptyQuarterswerealwaysdifferent.Hedrovepasttheroad,only
recognizing
theturnafterwepassedbecauseatangleoftumbleweedshidthecattleguardthat
markedit.
Weweretheonlyonesonthehighwayhejustbackedupandmadetheturn,
switchingthe
RangeRoverintofourwheelassoonashewasintheloosesandontheotherside
ofthe
grate.
"Tellmetherules,"hesaid.
"Goon,Dad!"Iknewtherules.I'dknownthemsinceIwassix.
"So,backtotheflat?It'stwohours,butI'lldoit."
Iheldupmyhand."Allright,allright!"Iheldupfourfingersandtickedthemoffoneby
one."Neverjumpwheresomeonecanseeme.Neverjumpnearhome.Neverjumptoor
from
thesameplacetwice.Andnever,never,everjumpunlessImustorunlessyouorMum
tell
meto."
"Andwhatdoesthatmeanthatyoumust?
"IfI'mgoingtogethurtorcaptured."
"Killedorcapturedbywho?"
"Anyone."Them.That'sallIknew.ThestrangersfromOxford.
"Andwhatdoesitmeanifyoubreaktherules?"
"Havetomove.Again."
"Yeah.Again."
Wedroveforanotherfortyfiveminutes,thoughitwasslowgoing."This'llhavetodo.Any
fartherandwe'llbetooclosetotheborder.Don'twanttoattracttheINS."Heturnedupa

dry
washandwentonuntilwecouldn'tseetheroadandthehillsoftheravineroseupon
both
sides.
Ittookustenminutestoclimbtothetopofthehigherridge,sowecouldseeall
around.
Dadusedhisbinoculars,takingforever.Finallyhesaid,"Okay.Intheravineonly,rightoh?"
Idancedinplace."Now?"
Hesaid,"Now."
IlookeddownattheRover,toysized,atthebottomoftheravine,andthenIwasthere,
sandsettlingaroundmeasIfumbledwiththegate.
BythetimeDadhadhikedbackdownI'dchangedintothecoverallsandthegogglesandI
hadthefacemaskhanginglooselyaroundmyneck.Whenhecametrudgingacrossthesand
and
gravel,IwaslayingoutthepaintballgunandthehopperfullofroundsandtheCo2
cartridges.
Hetookadrinkfromthewaterbottleandofferedittome.WhileIdrankheputonhis
owngogglesandloadedthegun.
"Don'twaitformetofire.Thisisprettyfastmaybetwohundredfeetpersecondbutyou
couldstilljumpbeforeitarrivedifyouwerefarenoughaway.Butbulletstravelthousands
offeetpersecond.Youwaittilltheyfire,andyou'llbedead.
"Don'tletanyoneevenpointaweaponatyou."
Iwasjustseatingthefacemaskwhenheshotme,pointblank,inthethigh.
"Fuck!"Iyelled,grabbingmyleg.ThepaintwasredandIputoneofmyhandsrightinit.
"Whatdidyousay?"Dadlookedhalfmad,halfamused.Icouldswearhewastryingnotto
laugh.
Iblinked,lookingdownattheredpaintonmyhand.Myleghurt.Ithurtalot,butIwasn't
supposedtousethatword.IopenedmymouthtoreplybutDadsaid,"Nevermind,"and
lifted
thegunagain.
Foolmeonce,shameonyou.Foolmetwice...
Thepaintballsplatteredacrossthegravel,butIwastwentyfeetofftotheside.Dadtwisted
andgotoffaquickshotbutthereasonitdidn'thitmewasthathemissed,notthatI'd
jumped
intime.IfeltthewindoftheprojectilegopastmyheadbutthenIwasonthefarsideof
the
truckandthesecondshotpassedthroughemptyair,beforetumblingthroughthebranches
ofa
creosotebush.
"Okay,"heyelled."Hideandseek,unlimited."
Iturnedaroundandbegancountingloudly.Iheardhisfeetcrunchacrossgraveland
then
nothing.ThesecondIcountedthirty,Ijumpedsideways,thirtyfeet,expectingtohear
the
poooofofthepaintballgun,butDadwasnowhereinsight.
Therewereseveralstretchesofsandinthewashandoneofthesehadafreshsetofwidely
spacedtracksleadingacrossit.Ijumpedtothestretchofsandwithoutcrossingthegravel
and
followedthem.

Ihadtofindhimwithoutgettingshot.ButIcouldjumpasmuchasIwanted.Aroundabend
intheravine,thetrackswereclosertogetherbuttheywentanotherfiftyfeetandstopped
in
themiddleofthewash.Stopped.
Dadwasn'tthere,either,andtherewasn'tanythingnearbyhecouldhavesteppedonto.
For
justasecond,Ithought,Maybe...maybeDadcould
Thepaintballcaughtmeonthebutt.Itdidn'thurtnearasmuchasthelastonebutithurt
mypride.Ispunandjumpedatthesametime,sideways,tenfeet,sloppytheremust've
been
tenpoundsofdirtfallingawayfrommeandjumprothangingintheairwhereI'd
been.
Twisting,fadingjumprot.
Dadwassteppingoutfrombehindsomescrub.Thegunhunglooselyathisside.
Ipointedatthelineoftracksinthesand."Didyoujump?"
Helaughed,almostabark."Don'tIwish!Ijustturnedaroundandwalkedbackin
my
tracks."Hepointedatsomerocksnearhishidingplace."Steppedoffthesandthereand
Bob's
youruncle."Hepointedhisfingeratthegroundandtwirleditlikehewasstirringa
drink.
"Again."
Iturnedaroundandstartedcountingloudly.Asheranoffheshoutedoverhis
shoulder,
"Lookformorethantracksinthesand!"
Andthat'sthesortofthingwedidforthenexthour.Wedidhideandseek,limited
(whereIcouldn'tjumpuntilIsawhim),andtag,whereIhadtojumpcloseenoughto
touch
himandgetawaywithoutgettingshot,andclosedroom,wherewedrewabigsquare
inthe
sandandIcouldjumpanywhereinitbutnotleaveit,whilehefiredshotaftershot.
OncehehitapatchofjumprotwhereI'dbeenandthepaintballexploded,comingback
outashighvelocitypiecesofplasticfilmandamistofspraypaint.Anothertime,I
jumped
lateandthepaintballcamewithme,tumblingthroughthebrushatrightanglestoits
original
path,butmissingme.
Dadwasperplexed."Wow,Idon'tthinkI'veeverseenitdothatbefore."Dadhad
thistheorythatthejumprotwaslike,well,likethewakeofaship,thedisruptionof
thewaterwhenavesselpassesthrough.It'sliketheturbulenceormaybeevenaholeI
leave
behind.
WhenIjumpinahurry,sloppily,there'smoreofitandIcarrymorecrapwithme.When
I'mfocused,ifthereisjumprot,it'stiny,andfadesawayalmostinstantly.
Wecontinued.WhenDadsaid,"Enough,"Ihadonemorepaintmarkonmyrightshoulder
blade,buthe'dgonethroughseventypaintballrounds.Heletmeshootadozen
roundsata
boulder,enoughtofinishoffthelastoftheCo2cartridge,andthenwewenthome.
HeneversaidanythingaboutmyswearingandIneversaidanythingabouthimshootingme

intheleg.Calliteven.
TuesdayandThursdayafternoonsIhadkarateclass.
MumhadadoctorateinFrenchliteraturebutshedidn'twork.Shewashomeschoolingme.
ShesaidthatIjustgottooboredinthepubliceducationsystem,butIheardthemtalking
once,
whentheythoughtIwasasleep.
Dadsaid,"Whatcanwedoaboutit?He'stooyoungtoholdasecretthisbigallthetime.
It'snotfairtohimandit'stoodangerous.Maybelater,whenhe'solder."
Mumsaid,"He'snotakid.Nokidevertalkedlikethathe'saminiatureadult.Heneedsto
runupagainstkidlogicandskinhiskneeswherewe'renottheretopickhimup.Heneeds
to
makefriends."
Thecompromisewaskarateclass.Thehomeschoolingcurriculumrequiredaphysical
educationequivalentsoIhadtodosomething.
IthinkDadwentforitbecauseofthedisciplineandbecausehethought,fromtheclasshe
watched,thatthekidsnevertalkedtoeachother.Well,weweren'tsupposedtotalk
during
classbutitwasanafterschoolprogramattheelementaryschooltwoblocksaway
all
formonekids.Ofcoursetherewastalking.
Ilikedourinstructor,SenseiTorres.Hedidn'tplayfavoritesandhewasverygentleandhe
wasverycarefultokeepPaullyMacLandincheck.
PaullywasinfifthgradeforthesecondtimeandhewasalmostastallasSensei
Torres.
He'dbeendoingthekarateprogramsincefirstgradeandhadagreenbelt.
Andhewasmean.
Weweredoingtwostepkumitepartnerpractice.Onepersonwouldattackwithapunch
andtheotherwouldblockandcounterpunch.IwasworkingwithPaullyandhe
wasn't
interestedintheexercise.Hewasinterestedinhurting.
Therewasadefinitenocontactrule.Ifyoukickedorpunchedyouhadtostopshort
of
hittinganybody.Itwasafirmruleandanyonewhobrokeithadtositoutandcould
get
droppedfromtheclassifhekeptdoingit.Paullyknewthat.Oneofthekidstoldme
Paully
waskickedoutoftheclassbackinfourthgradeforrepeatedoffensesandwasonly
allowed
backthenextyear.
WhatPaullydidinsteadwasturnhisblocksintostrikes.He'dblocksohard,ithurtitleft
bruises.Like,perhaps,apaintballroundinthethigh,pointblank.
Ididn'tswearthistime,though.Igrittedmyteethinsteadandkeptgoing.Tohitso
hard,
Paullywasdrawingback,cockingbeforetheblock,whichrequiredhestartalmost
beforeI
actuallypunched.Nexttimeitwasmyturn,Ibrokemyrhythm,steppingin,butdelaying
the
punchslightly.Heblockedandmissedmyarmentirely.Mypunchstoppedjustshort
ofhis

nose.
SenseiTorreslaughedandhadeverybodychangepartners.Laterhesaidtome
privately,
"Goodeyes,Griff.Itwasbadkarate.Inarealfight,youcan'tblockastrikethat
hasn'teven
started."
ButPaullywaswaitingwhenIfinishedchangingforthewalkhome,justinsidethelocker
room,blockingthedoor."So,youlimeyasslicker,thinkyou'resomethin'withthat
stutter
punch?ThinkyoucanmakemelookbadinfrontofSensei?"
MaybeDadwasrightaboutmehavingtroublekeepingmymouthshut.Itjustcame
out,unbidden.
"Bollocks.Youdon'tneedmetolookbad.Youdothatallbyyourself."RightawayIwas
sorryIsaidit,scared,infact,buthowdoyoutakesomethinglikethatback,especially
when
youmeanit?
Hejustcharged,ragepaintedonhisfacelikeredpaint,hisfistcockedbackand
looking
largerthananypaintball.
Icouldn'thelpit.Really,Ididn'tmeantodoit,Ididn'tmeantobreaktherule,but
one
secondhisfistwasheadingtowardmyfacelikeathrownrockandthenextIwasstandingin
a
cloudofdustinaravine,nexttoapaintballsplatteredboulder,outintheEmptyQuarter.
I'djustbrokenrulesnumberoneandtwo(don'tjumpnearhomeanddon'tjump
where
someonecanseeme)andmaybeevenrulefour(don'tjumpunlessImustifI'mgoingto
get
killedorcaptured).
Iwasinsomuchtrouble.
SoIlied.Ijumpedbacktotheschool,outside,inthehollowbetweenthestairsand
a
hedgewhereIsometimeswaitedbeforekarate,beforethelastbellrang.Iusedtositin
there
andwatch,invisible,theoutsidertheforeignhomeschoolerandwatchallthekids
runoff,
metbytheirparentsorplayingwitheachotherontheplayground.
IwaiteduntilIsawPaullyleave,walkingodd,lookingbackattheschoolwithwideeyes.I
exhaled.Helookedokay.Myworrywasthathe'drunintothejumprotbeforeitfaded.
Itonlytakesfiveminutestowalkhome.Ididitintwo.
"Howwasclass?"MumaskedwhenIpoundedupthestepsandintothekitchen.She
glancedattheclock."Didyourun?"
"Uh,yeah.Thirsty."Iburiedmyfaceinthefridge.Icouldfeelmyearsburning.Ineverlied
toMum.Well,technicallyitwasn'tlyingbutthey'dalwaysbeenclearaboutlyingby
omission.
IcameoutwiththeGatorade.Mumhadalreadypulledaglassfromthedishwasher.She
gavemeaquicksqueezearoundtheshouldersthensettheglassonthecounter."Pork
piefor
supper.Potatoesorrice?"

"Rice."
"Broccoliorgreenbeans?"
Imadeaface."Broccoli,ifwehaveto."
Shelaughed."Well,there'spuddingafter."
Inoddedandheadedformyroom,butshesnaggedmebythecollar."Areyouall
right?"
Sheputthebackofherhandagainstmyforehead.
"What?"
"Youdidn'taskwhatkindofpudding.I'mthinkin'someterminalillness,maybeEbola."
"Haha.Okay,whatkind?"
"Raspberrytart."
Isaid,"Brilliant!"topleaseher,butthetruthwasthethoughtoffoodmademy
stomach
clenchintoahardlittleknot."IthinkI'lljustgoandtryanotherunitofmath,okay?"
Shetookanexaggeratedstepbackfromme."Oritcouldbebubonicplague.Butgomine
isnottoquestionwhy.Thismaynotlastitcouldbeafluke,atemporaryaberration.Let's
not
messwithit."
AsIwalkedbacktomyroomIheardhersaying,"Andmaybehe'lldoascienceunitanda
historyunitandmaybeaFrenchessayortwo.Ifonlywecouldfindthisgerm,
the
I'llgodoschoolworkgerm,wecouldmarketit.Motherseverywherewouldworshipat
my
feet.DareIsaysainthood?Itcouldhap"
Ishutmybedroomdoorloudly.
Paullywouldprobablyneversayanything.Imean,whatcouldhesay?Hewasthekindof
boywhodidn'tlikelookingstupid,probablybecausehewasstupid.Wouldhebe
stupid
enoughtotellthisstory?IfhejustsaidIscamperedlikeababythatwouldbefine.I
wouldn't
careaboutthat.
IdidaunitoflongdivisionsinceIsaidIwould.Actually,Iratherlikedmath.Everything
worksoritdoesn't.Thereisn'tanythinggrayaboutit.AndeverytimeIstoppedworkingon
the
mathproblems,IstartedthinkingaboutPaullyandmyjumping.Evendrawing,myusual
escape,
didn'twork.
Ididthreeunitsofmath.
MumandDadweretalkingaboutanupcomingbusinesstripatdinnersoIdidn'thave
to
saymuch.IknewifIdidn'teat,they'dreallybegintosuspectsomething.Iateas
muchasI
couldbutitsatinmystomachlikelead.
"Whatareyouthinkingabout,Griff?"
"What?Uh,nothing,Dad."
"You'vebeenstaringatthewallforfiveminutes.Nomovingfingers,Ihope?Menemene
tekelupharsinandallthat."
Dad'sabitoddsometimes."Math,Iguess.AndIwasthinkingaboutkaratetoday.Andwhen
wedidpaintballoutinthedesert."Alltrue.Alllies.

Henodded.Bothofthemwatchedmeanditfeltlikethetruthwaswrittenacross
my
forehead.Icouldfeelmyearsheatingup."Idon'tunderstandwhythingsrepeat
sometimesto
infinity."
Itwasmybestdistraction.Whenindoubt,alwaysaskamathquestionoraquestionabout
LePetitPrince.Eithercouldoccupythemforhours,avoidingwhateverthey'dbeenon
about.
Thedownsidewas,well,itcouldoccupythemforhours.
"Whatdoyoumean?"
"Liketendividedbythree.Youknowtheansweristhreepointthreethreethree
three
threethreethreeandsoon.Forever,Iguess.Butdoesitgoonforever?Howdothey
know?
Maybeafterenoughtimesitbecomestwo?Orfour?Theycallitarationalnumber,
but
reallywhat'srationalaboutthat?"
SoMumpulleddownapadofpaperandDadpulledoutanoldtextbookandbythetimeI
escapedtomyroom,anhourandahalflater,theywereshowingeachotherthatitwas
reallya
functionofabasetennumberingsystem."Yeah,ifyoudividetenbythreeinbasenine,you
get
three."
Ishutthedoortomyroomandfloppedfacedownontomybed.Ishouldhavetoldthem.I
wantedtotellthem.ButIdidn'twanttomoveagain.
Ichangedforbedearly,andtriedtolosemyselfinreading,indrawing,evenmath.LaterI
brushedmyteethwithoutbeingasked,causingmorecommentsfromMum.Shecame
inand
kissedmegoodnight.Dadstoodinthedoorway,said,"Gooddreams,Griff."
Mumasked,"Youwantthedoorshut?"
"Yeah."
"Bonnenuit,moncher."
NormallyI'masleepinminutesbutthistimeIcouldn'tgetitoutofmyhead.I'dliedabout
it.I'dbrokentherules.
Sothey'llneverknow.OnlyPaullysawandwhowouldbelievehim,evenifhetalked?
Iburiedmyheadundermypillowbutitdidn'thelp.I'dknow.Didn'tmatterifMumand
Dadfoundout.I'dalwaysknow.
Igotup.Icouldhearthemwell,IcouldheartheTV.Theyalwayswatchedthelatenews
togetheranddrankacupofherbaltea.Itwaspartoftheirroutine,theirlastthing
before
bedtime.SometimesI'dsneakdownthehallandwatchfromthecorner.Halfthetime
Mum
woulddozeoffduringthesportsandDadwouldteaseheraboutit.
Ieasedopenmydoor.Ihadtotellthem.Whateverhappened,Ihadtotellthem.Itooka
stepoutintothehallandthedoorbellrang.
Ifeltajoltinthestomach.Paully?Hisparents?Someonefromtheschool?
DadturnedofftheTVbeforehewenttothedoor,followedbyMum,yawning.Shehadn't
fallenasleepyetthenewswasontheweather.Shesawmeinthedoorwayand
blinked,startedtofrown.

IheardDadopenthedooritwasaroundthecornerpastthekitchensoIcouldn'tsee
itfromthehall.
"Mr.O'Conner?"Itwasawoman'svoice."I'msosorrytodropbythislate,butI'dliketo
talktoyouaboutGriffin.I'mfromtheHomeschoolingAdministrationDepartmentatSDSD."
Mum'sheadsnappedaround."No,you'renot."
"Begyourpardon?"thewoman'svoicesaid.
"You'renot.It'snottheSDSD.It'stheSanDiegoUnifiedSchoolDistrictortheSanDiego
CitySchools.Andthereisnodepartmentforhomeschooling.It'sdonethroughthe
charter
schools."
"Fine.Haveityourway,"saidthewoman.Hervoice,previouslywarmandapologetic,
wenthardlikegranite.
MumtookastepawayfromthedoorandIsawhereyesgetreallybig.Herhanddown
at
hersidejerkedtowardmeandpointedback,aclearindicationtogobackintomyroom.
ItookastepbackbutIleftthedooropensothatIcouldstillhear,butwhatIheardwas
Dadsaying,"Puttheknifedown.We'renotarmed.Whatdoyouwant?"
Therewasacrashfrommyparents'room,attheotherendofthehall.
Backatthedooraman'svoice,aBritfromBristolbytheaccent,said,"Where'syour
kiddie?"
Dadshouted,"Griff"Therewasathudandhisvoicecutoff.MumscreamedandIjumped

intothelivingroom,magazinepagesflyingthroughtheair,booksfallingoffthe
bookshelf.
Dadwasonhisknees,onehandtohishead.Thereweretwostrangemenandthe
woman
inthelivingroomandtheyalltwistedasIappeared,muchfasterthanDadever
managed,
oddshapedgunscomingtobear.Iflinchedaway,intothekitchen,platesandcups
shattering
againstthewallandsink,andheardthegunsfire,muffled,notunlikethepaintgun,but
there
wasanoddwhippingnoise,andtheywereturningagain,righttomebytherefrigerator.
Mum
screamed"Go!"andshovedoneofthemenintotheotherbutthewomanstillfired
andit
burnedmyneckandIwasstandingbytheboulder,themoonlit,paintsplatteredboulder
two
hundredmilesaway.
Ijumpedback,butnottothekitchen.Iappearedinthedarkgaragebelowandscrambled
upontotheworkbench,toreachtheshelfabove,whereDadkeptthepaintgun.
Steps
poundeddowntheoutsidestairsandthensomeonekickedthedoor,toforceit
open,but
therewasadropbaritwasthatkindofneighborhood.
IputaC02cartridgeinthegun.Thetopofthedoorsplinteredbutheld.Ifumbledatubular
magazineofpaintballsintothegunasachunkofdoorfellintotheroom.Thefatbarrelof
one
oftheweirdgunsappearedinthegapandIjumped,thistimetomyroom.

10

StepspoundeddownthehallandIjumpedagain,backtothelivingroom.Amanheld
a
knifetoMum'sthroatandDadlayontheground,still.
Ishotthemanintheeyes,pointblank.
Hescreamedandfellbackward,clawingathiseyes.Agunwentoffandsomethingtoreat
myhipandIjumpedsidewaysagain,shootingthemanwhowascomingupthehallwayin
the
forehead.Onehandwenttohisfacebuthefiredhisweaponandmultipleprojectiles
with
wiresbetweenthemtorethroughtheairovermyhead.Ijumpedbehindhimandhe
whirled
andIshothiminthebollocks,twice.
Hedoubledoverandashedid,IsawMum.
Shewaslyingonthefloor,slumpedtooneside,andthebloodwaseverywhere.
Plasterexplodednexttomyheadasatrioofprojectilesthuddedintothewall,wire
trailing,lashingatthepaint.Idroppedtomyknees,halfflinching,halfnumb.
Dad'spuddleofbloodwasevenbiggerandtherewasaknifestickingoutofhis
lowerback.
ThemanI'dshotinthebollockswastwistingaround,bringinghisgunup.Ishothiminthe
faceagain,hittinghischeekbone.Hefiredhisgunbutthecablesflewdownthehallway,
over
myhead,tearingpicturesoffbothwalls.Ihithimwiththepaintballgunbarrel,hithim
hard,andagain,andagain.Hedroppedhisgunandhiseyesrolledback.
IturnedbacktoMumandDadandthedoor.Icouldhearfootstepsonthestair.Iliftedthe
paintballgunbuttherewasaflashfromthedoorandaprojectilecaughtthegun,
slammedit
upintomyforehead.
Ifellback,myvisiondimming,droppingintosomedarkandformlessplace,butinsteadof
hittingthewall,Ifellallthewaybackontosandandgravel.
TheEmptyQuarter.Mum.Dad.Empty.
Itriedtoliftmyheadandthemoondimmedandblinkedout.
Empty.

ChapterTwo
Lost(andFound)

Someonewastricklingwaterintomymouthand,startled,Iinhaledit.Wracking
coughsproducedastabbingpaininmyheadandside,butIcouldn'tstop.Thesun
washighandblinding.Isqueezedmyeyesshut,stillcoughing.Therewassomething
wrong
withmyforeheadandthesideofmyneckandmyrighthip.
Handsliftedme,helpingmetosit.Imanagedawheezingbreathwithoutcoughing
andopenedmyeyes.Sand.Gravel.
TheEmptyQuarter.Itouchedmyforeheadtherewasaraggedgash,crusted,above
myrighteyebrow.Idroppedfartherandfeltthesideofmyneck.Therewasascab,likearug
burn.

11

IttuggedwhenIturnedmyheadtoseewhowashelpingmetositup.
"Mascomodo?"aroughvoiceasked.Whiteteethflashedinasaltandpepperbeard.
I
shiftedbackslightly.Heworeastrawhatandablindingwhitebuttondownshirt,worn
khaki
shorts.Hiseyeswerehiddenbehindmirroredaviatorshades.Hisskinwasbrownbuthe
didn't
lookHispanic.Tanned.
"Excuseme?"Imanaged.
"Oh,"hesaid."Morewater?"Heofferedmetheplasticbottle.
Iaccepteditandsippedcautiously,tryingnottobreatheitagain.
"Whathappened,kid?"
Iblinked.Whathadhappened?Somethingathome,thewomanwhosaidshewasfrom
the
schooldistrict...?
IthinkIscreamedthen.IknowIjerkeduprightandsurgedtomyfeetandmyvision
dimmed.
Notsurehowmuchtimepassed,butIwaslyingdownagain,onmyback.Someone
was
holdingsomethingoverme,whichshadedmyfacefromthesun.Itwasablackumbrellaand
I
couldseethesunshiningthroughtheblackclothandthespokes,spottedwithrust.The
hand
holdingitwasthinandwrinkled.Ifollowedthearmtoawomanwithjetblackhair,
wrinkled
brownskin,anddarkeyeslikestillpoolsofnight.
ShesawmewatchingherandsaidsomethinginSpanish,totheside.Istartedtositupagain
andahand,nothers,pressedmebackdown.
"Let'snotandsaywedid."Itwasthebeardedmanfrombefore."Unlessyouwanttopass
outagain.There'sanicepuddleofdriedbloodhere.Didn'tseeitbeforeyouwerelyingon
it,butI'dsayyou'rebetterofflyingdown,okay?"
Thewrackingsobscamethen.Iremembereditall,everybit,flashingoverandover,from
Mumscreaming"Go!"tothebloodandthemotionlesseyesstaringintonothing.
IthinkIpassedoutagain.
Thelightwasdifferentthesunhadshiftedhalfwayacrosstheskyandthewindhadpicked
up.Insteadofanumbrella,ablueplastictarpshadedmyentirebody,flappinggently
inthe
slightbreeze.Aclearplasticbaghalffilledwithfluidtwistedandbouncedwith
the
movementofthetarp.AtubedroppedfromthebagandIwatcheditforseveral
minutes
beforerealizingitwasrunningintomyarm.
Crunchingfootstepscrossingthegravelcamecloserandthenthelightchangedagain
as
someonestuckhisheadintotheshelter.
"Estasdespierto?"Itwasthewomanfrombefore,theonewiththeumbrella.Shewatched
myfaceforsomesignofcomprehension,thentried,"Youokay?"
"Okay?Yes,uh,si.Nohabloespanol."
"Okay.Good.Okay."Shepointedtoaplasticbottlelyingbesideme,mostlyfullofwater.

12

Shemimedtiltingabottleuptohermouth."Okay?"
"Right.Uh,okay."
Itriedtositupbutsheshookherhead."No.Descanza.Estatequietecito."
Idroppedback.Myheadspunfromtheslightefforttositup.Iexploredmysideandfound
amassofgauzeandtapeonmyhip.Ifoundasmallerbandageonmyforehead,runningup
into
myhair,thetapetuggingpainfullywhenItouchedit.Iwasn'tontheground,I
realized,but
lyingonastretcher,oneofthosecanvasthingswithtwopoleslockedapart.Turningmy
head
withoutliftingit,Irealizedwewerenolongerinmygullybutonsomeraisedhillside.Icould
seemilesacrossdesert,overgulliesandlowhills.
They'dmovedme.
Drivenme?Carriedme?
IthoughtaboutthenightbeforeanditwasasifIwerestuck,frozen.Mymindjuststopped
working.Ididn'tpassoutbutIlaytherestaringattheceilingtryingtothinkbutit
wastoo
muchmymindwasjustshyingawayfromit.Iknewithadhappened.Itwasthegauzeon
my
head.Mybrainwaswrappedingauzewhite,fuzzygauzeanditwashardtofeelstuff
through
it.
Iheardsomeoneshoutfromfaraway,"Hey,Consuelo!Unpocoayuda!"Thewomansitting
besidemepattedmeagainontheshoulderandduckedoutundertheedgeofthetarp.
AssoonasshewasstandinguprightIheardherfootstepsgofromawalktoajoggingrun.
Afteraminutefootstepsreturned,morethantwo,buttherewasadraggingsound,
too,andthenthebeardedmanandConsuelowereback,amansupportedbetweenthem.
Hisfacewas
bloodyandswollenandthoughhislimbstwitchedasiftohelpsupporthim,hewas
helpless
asababy.
Thebeardedmanglancedatme,watching,andsaid,"Hey,pardner,thinkyoucangetoutof
thatstretcher?Gotsomeoneherewhoneedsitworse."
Iblinked,thensatupcarefully.Thebandagesatmyhiptuggedandmyheadswamjustabit
butmyvisiondidn'tdimlikeithadbefore.Iedgedoffthestretcherawayfromthe
newcomer,
thenslidthestretchertowardthem,holdingitsteadyastheyputthenewcomerdown.
TherewasarapidexchangeinSpanishofwhichtheonlywordIunderstoodwas
"banditos"andtheywereworkingastheytalked.Consuelowaswipingbloodoffthe
man's
faceasthebeardedmanhunganotherbagofliquidfromthesamelinethatsupported
mine.
Hecleanedaspotontheinsideoftheman'selbowwithawipefromatearopenpacket
and
thenslidaneedleintotheskin.
Iwincedandlookedaway.WhenIturnedback,theneedlewasconnectedtothe
tube
hangingdownfromthebag.Thewinddiedforamoment,thenshiftedaround,andI
could

13

smellhim.Hesmelledawful,likeoneofthedirtierhomelessguysaroundBalboaPark
rancidsweatandawhiffofurine.
"Uh,needaloo...bathroom."Myvoicewasaraspingcroakbutunderstandable.
Thebeardedguywasputtingafoamcollararoundtheneckofthemanonthestretcher.He
lookedupatme."Really?That'sagoodsign."Hereachedoverandpinchedtheback
ofmy
hand.
Ijerkeditaway."Hey!"
Heshookhishead,chuckling."Pinchtheskinonthebackofyourhandandletgo.WhereI
cansee."
"Why?"
"Dehydration.Thelongertheskinstaystented,themoredehydratedyouare."
"Oh."Iheldmyhandup,palmdown,anddidwhatheasked.Theskinpulledback
flat
prettymuchassoonasIletgo.
"Holdstill,"hesaid.Ifrozeandhepeeledbackthestripoftapesecuringmydripneedle,
thenpulleditout,onequick,smoothmovement.Ifeltatugandthentherewasa
reddot
wellingup.Hehandedmeanantisepticwipe."Putpressureonitwiththatholdithigh.
While
you'repeeingyoucancloseyourelbowoverit."Heputhisownfingerovertheinsideof
his
elbowandpinneditbyfoldinghisarmup.
"Where'stheloouh,toilet?"
Helaughed."Pickarock."
Iduckedgingerlyoutfromunderthetarp.MyheadspunandIbentoverfora
moment,
bracingmyhandsonmythighs.AfteranothermomentthingssettledandI
straightened
carefully.
Therewasabatteredfourwheeldrivepickupparkedbetweentwoboulders,sodusty
I
couldn'ttellwhatcolorthepaintjobwas.Alargepairofbinocularsanda
battered
orangeandwhiteicechestsatonthetailgate.Twocampchairssatinthepartialshade
ofa
mesquitebush.
ThepressureinmybladderremindedmewhyIwasstanding.Itooklimpingstepsinthe
directionofthelargestrockdownthehillandpeedbehindit.
Ittookmelongertowalkupthehillthandown.Itwasn'tjustgravity.Withoutthe
full
bladderIdidn'thavethemotivation,theneed,andthegravelhurtmybarefeet.Itwashard
not
tojustliedownonthegroundrightwhereIwasandcurlupinaball.
Thebeardedmanduckedoutofthetarpandglancedatme."Youokay?"
No!Ithought,butInoddedandresumedmypainfullimpupthehill.
Hemotionedtowardthecampchair."I'mSam,"hesaid."Yougotaname?"
"Grif"Istoppedmyself.Thencontinued."JohnGrifford.TheycallmeGriff."Thewoman
claimingtobefromtheschooldistricthadaskedforme,forGriffinO'Conner."What

14

happenedtohim?"Igesturedatthebluetarp.
"Bandits.He'saMexicanmakingthecrossingtofindwork.Prettypoorbutwitha
little
money,usuallyeverythinghisextendedfamilycanscratchtogetherinU.S.dollarsso
hecan
traveltoacitywithjobsoncehe'sacross.There'sthemonbothsidesoftheborderthat
prey
on'em.
Andafterithappens,theydon'tthinktheycancomplaintothepoliceonthisside,andon
theotherside,halfthetimeitisthepolice."SampausedasIpainfullyloweredmyselfinto
the
chair."Now,onceIheardyoutalk,Iknewyouweren'tMexican,buthisstorycould
be
yourswhoattackedyou?"
Ilookedawayandputmyhandtomymouth.Thecottongauzethreatenedtoshred.
Headdedtheunbearablebit:"Whereareyourparents?"
Inearlyjumped.Itwaslikeablow.IknewIwasn'tindangerbutIstillwantedtoflinch
away.Iwantedtoflee,torun,butIknewthatnomatterhowfarIwentitwouldn'tchange
the
facts.
"They'red...d...DEAD!"There.I'dsaidit.SaidsomethingIcouldn'teventhink."Where?"
Sam'seyeswidenedabitandhiseyestwitchedsideways."When?"
Hethinksithappenedwheretheyfoundme,thatthepeoplewhoattackedmecouldstill
bearound."SanDiegolastnight."
Oh,bugger.Whatwasthepointofgivinghimafalsename?Nowhe'dbeabletoreadthe
newspapersandfigureoutwhoIreallywas.
Somethingmydadusedtosaywentthroughmyhead:Bettertokeepyourmouthshutand
bethoughtanidiotthantospeakandconfirmit.
Samdroppedhisshouldersbackdown."How'dyougetallthewayouthere?Did
they
dumpyou?Couldtheystillbearound?"
Ishookmyhead."IgotawayIcameherebecauseitwas...safe."Ilookedatthebluetarp.
"Well,Ithoughtitwassafe."
"How?"
Ishookmyhead."Can'ttellyou.Buthonest,thosethatkill"Ibitdownonmylip
and
squeezedmyeyesshutforasecond."ThelastIsawofthemwasinSanDiego.Nothere."
Hestaredatmeforamoment."Well,Pablo,inthere,needssomeprettyurgent
medical
attention.We'llbeputtinghiminthetruckandthenI'llradiothecountyEMS,meetthem
out
atthehighway.Thepoliceandtheborderpatrolwillgetinvolvedprettyquick,soIjust
have
onequestion.Shouldwebementioningyou?Imean,youdidn'tgotothepoliceinSan
Diego,
didyou?"
Istaredathim."Whatkindofadultareyou?Ofcourseyou'regoingtotellthepolice,no
matterwhatIsay.I'mjustakid.Doesn'tmatterwhatIwant.I'maminor."
Heblinked,thenlaughedwithoutmakinganynoise,likeI'dsaidsomethingfunny.

15

"Sowhyareyouevenasking?"Toostrident.Iclampedmymouthshut,determinednotto
sayanythingelse.
Hestaredatme,hisbrowwrinkled."Kid,somethingreallybadhappenedtoyouandyours
butallIreallyknowisthatyou'reintrouble.Imeetpeopleintroubleallthetime.
They're
undocumentedworkers,crossing.I'mnotheretojudgethem,either.WhatConsueloandI
do
istryandkeepthemfromdying.Sometimesit'sjustalittlewater,sometimesit's
major
medicalevac.Butwedon'tjudgeandwedon'tinvolvetheINSunlesswehaveto.
"Idon'tknowwhat'sbestforyou.Idon'tknowenoughaboutwhathappenedor
why.
You'renotdyingIdon'thavetoinvolvethecountyandthepolice.Don'tknowifthe
cops
wouldjusttakeyoubacksomeplacewherethepeoplewhodidthiscouldgetatyouagain
or
iftheyevenwouldwanttogetatyou.So,I'maskin'andImeanit:ShouldItellthe
police
aboutyou?"
Ishookmyheadsidetoside,hard,andthescabonmynecktoreandstung.
"Wellokay,then.Iwon't."Samstartedtogetup.
Despitemybestintentions,Isaid,"Whydoyoudothis,helpingtheillegals,Imean?"
"Someone'sgotta.I'vebeendoingitforsixyears,sinceIfoundthreedeadmenontheedge
ofmyproperty.Consuelo,shelostherhusbandandteenagesoneastofhere.Their
coyotegot
themhalfwayacrosstheworstofitanddemandedmoremoneybeforelettingthem
intothe
truck,stilloutinthemiddleofnowhere.Shegotthestoryfromawomanwhodidn'thave
to
walkwhodidn'tdieinthebasin."
Ilickedmylips."Shehadthecash?"
"Sheofferedadifferentformofpayment."
Ilookedathim,puzzled.
Samsaid,"God,you'reyoung.Youtalklikeyou'reoldersoIkeepforgetting.Sheoffered
sexforpassage."
Ifeltmyearsgethot.
"Howoldareyou,kid?Eleven,twelve?"
"I'mnine."
Sam'sjawdropped.
"I'llbetennextmonth,"Iadded.
Hepinchedthebridgeofhisnose."Ishouldtalktothepolice."
"Youpromised!"
"No,Ididn'texactlypromise."Heshookhishead."ButIsaidIwouldn't.Iwon't,Iguess."
Hestood."Consuelo!jDebemosir!"Heopenedthepassengerdooronthetruck."You
ride
here.ConsueloisgoingtorideinthebackandtendtoPablo."
"Can'tIwaithere?"
"Notcomingbackhere.AfterwegetPablointoanambulance,I'mheadingbackto
my

16

place."Hegesturedtowardtheloweringsun."Donefortheday."
IttookmealmostasmuchtimetogetintothetruckasitdidforConsueloandSam
to
movePabloandthestretcherintothebackofthepickup,foldthetarp,andstowthe
camp
chairsandicechest.
Hedroveprettyslow,becausetheroadwell,callingitaroadwasreaching.Sometimesit
disappearedcompletelyanditfeltlikehewasjustdrivingblindlyacrossthedesert,but
then
thetwinrutswouldreappear.Otherplaces,goingupagradeordown,waterhad
carved
deeplyintotheruts,andnomatterhowslowlyhedroveIwasthrownhardagainstthe
seatbelt
orbouncedoffthedoor.
IlookedaroundandsawConsuelobracedinthecornerbythecab,shadedbyherumbrella.
ThestretcherandPabloweresecuredwithstrapsbutConsuelokeptonehandonhis
forehead,
bracinghisneck,Iguess.
Afterahalfhourwetoppedariseandstoppedthetruck.Samtookaradiomikeoff
its
bracketandswitchedtheuniton."Wedon'tgetintorangeuntilhere."Hedepressed
the
transmitbutton."Tomit'sSamCoulton.GotaHispanicmale,dehydrated,sometrauma.
Got
beatenandrobbedaftercrossingsouthofBankheadSprings.Wastwodayswithoutwater."
Thevoicethatansweredwasfuzzedwithstatic,barelyrecognizable."Youneedairevac?"
Samanswered,"Nah.HewasconsciouswhenIfoundhim.I'vegothimonIVfluidsand
we'relessthanfifteenmilesfromOldEighty.IcanmeettheambulanceattheTexaco
near
DesertRoseRanchRoadinaboutthirtyminutes."
"I'llcallthesheriff'soffice.Ishelegal?"
"Doubtit.SherifffortheassaultandtheINS,iftheywant,buttheymightaswell
send
someonetojustmeettheambulanceatRegionalinElCentro."
"Okaythey'llprobablydispatchaunittomeetyouattheTexaco.Anythingelse?"
"Nah.GottagetgoingifI'mgonnameettheambulance.Thanksloads.LovetoMaribel."
Hehungthemikebackonthedashandconcentratedonhisdriving.Ididn'tseehow
he
expectedtomakefifteenmilesinthirtyminutes.Weweredoingmuchlessthantenmiles
an
hourbecauseoftherutsandrocks,butwereachedtheplainbelowafterfive
more
uncomfortableminutesandturnedontoadirtroadthatwasahighwayby
comparison.Sam
speduptofiftyandwewereuptothemotorwayinfifteenminutes.
"Arethosepajamas?"heasked.
IwaswearingsweatpantsandaTshirt,whatInormallysleptin."Uh,yeah."
"Soyouwereinbed?Whenithappened?"
Iturnedawayandlookedoutthewindow.Itwaslessthanahalfmiledowntheroadtoa

17

petrolstation.Tomyback,hesaid,"Okay.Iwon'tpressbutyouwanttoavoidthecops,
make
yourselfscarcewhileIdealwiththedeputy,okay?"Hepulledintotheshadeofthe
pump
awningandbeganrootingundertheseat.Afteramomenthecameupwithone
plastic
flipflopbuthehadtogetoutofthecarandcrouchdownbeforehefinallysnakedits
mate
outfromunder.Hetookacoupleofdollarsoutofhiswalletandhandedthemand
the
flipflopstome."Gowashup,thengetyourselfasoda,okay?Untilwe'redonewith
the
EMS."
Iwasembarrassed."Uh,thankssomuch.Ireally"
"Thankmelater.Deputy'scoming."HejerkedhischinandIsawadistantcarwaydownthe
road.TheroofglitteredandIcouldbelieveitwasapolicecar.
Idroppedtheflipflopsontothetarmacandputmyfeetinthem.Theywerewaytoobig
butIshuffledmywayintothestoreand,avoidingtheeyesofthewomanatthe
counter,I
turnedawayfromthecountertotheloo.
Themen'sbathroomstankandIlookedhorribleinthemirror.Myhairwasmatted
and
therewerecirclesundermyeyes.WhenItwistedaround,painfully,theloweredge
ofmy
Tshirtwasstainedbrownwithamixtureofdirtanddriedblood.Fortunately,thedirtmade
it
lookmorelikeaparticularlyreddishmudratherthanblood,otherwise,Isuspectthe
clerk
would'vesaidsomethingorevencalled911.
Itriedrinsingthebloodoutinthesinkbutitspreadthestainovermoreoftheshirt.Itried
thesoapdispenserbutitwasempty,andmuchasIneededto,Icouldn'tmakemyselfput
the
shirtbackon.Itwaswetandfilthyandeventhoughtherewasgauzeandtapeoverthe
gougein
myside,Ididn'twantthethingnearme.
Idroppeditontheedgeofthesinkandjumped.
Ithoughtitwasaverysloppyjumpatfirsteverydrawerwasoutanddumpedandthebed
mattressflippedoverandacrossthesprings.Clothesonhangersweredumpedonthefloor
of
thecloset.Buttheywerestill,notflyingthroughtheair.Someoneelsehadcausedthe
mess.I
froze,listening.
Iwantedtohearsomething.IwantedtohearmyfathertalkingtoMum.Thesilencewas
oppressive,weighingdownonmelikeahotday.Thentherewasaclickandathud
anda
whirringsoundandmyheartbeatlikeahammer.
Oh.ItwastheACcyclingon.
Ilookedoutintothehall.Morethingslitteredthefloorsbooks,dishes.Ibegan
noticing

18

theblackpowder,almosteverywhere.Fingerprintingpowder.Therewereholesinthe
walls,
large,jagged,theedgesstickingout,likesomethinghadbeenpulledfromtheroom.
Therewasmaskingtapeonthefloorinthelivingroom,justlikeonTV,twotaped
outlinesonthefloor.Anddriedblood.
Iturnedawayflinchedaway,really.GlancingoutglasspanesbesidethedoorIsawyellow
plasticribbonstretchedacrossthetopofthestairwayprintedwithcrimescene:
DONOTENTER.
Apolicecarsatatthecurb,too,windowsdown.Icouldn'tseeifanyonewasinthe
driver'sseatbuttherewasacrackleafterabitandthesoundofsomeonetalking,scratchy,
like
aradio.
Shite.
Ibackedupfromthedoorway,thenwalkedquicklybacktomybedroom,thetapeonmy
hiptuggingpainfully.IpickedupaTshirt,apairofjeans,underwear,mytrack
shoes,and
socks.They'dsweptmostofthebooksfrommybookshelf,butIfoundmypassport
andmy
hoard,threeandahalfmonths'allowance,whereI'dleftthem,stuffedbetweenTreasure
Island
andLittleBigonthebottomshelf.
Iturnedtothewallformysketches,buttheyweregone.Theyweren'tonthefloor,either.
Therewasasoundfromthefront,likestepsonthestair,andIclutchedmythingsto
my
chestandjumped.
IwasbackintheEmptyQuarter,bythepaintballsplatteredboulder,sandanddriedgrass
swirlingaroundme.Iheardbuzzing,fliesreturningtothedriedbloodwhereithadpooled
on
theground.Ithoughtaboutthebanditswho'dattackedPablobuttheredidn'tseem
tobe
anybodyaround.IcouldseefootstepswhereSamandConsuelohadcarriedmeaway.
Iclimbedonarocktochangeintothecleanclothes,easingthepantsoverthebandageson
myhipandbrushingthesandoffmyfeettoputonthesocksandshoes.Ittookamoment
to
visualizethepetrolstation'sbathroomenoughtojumpbacktoit.Itwasthememory
ofthe
smellthatfinallydidit.Istuffedthebloodyclothesintotherubbishbin,beneaththe
used
papertowels.
WhenIexited,therewasaguywaitingwhoglaredatme."Shookthedoorhard
enough.
What'sthematter,couldn'tgetitopen?Isthatwhyyoutooksofuckinglong?"He
shouldered
pastmeintothebathroomwithoutacknowledgingmyfaint,embarrassed"Sorry."
Theambulanceandthepolicewereoutside.ThemedicalchapswerejusteasingPablooff
thecanvasstretcherandontothefancyambulancegurney.Consuelowaswatching
the
paramedicswhileSamwasjustoutside,bythestoredoor,talkingwithauniformeddeputy.
IwentbacktotherefrigeratedcabinetsandpickedoutalargebottleofGatorade,thengot

19

somepotatocrisps.Americanchips.That'swhatImissfromEnglandallthedifferent
flavors
ofcrisps.Roastbeefandhorseradishwasmyfave.
Ipaid,usingmymoney,andwentoutfront,awayfromSamandthedeputywhere
there
wasabenchintheshadeoftheoverhang.TheGatoradewasgoodbutthecrisps
were
incredible,likemybodywascravingthesalt.Ialmostwentinandboughtanother
bag,but
thoughmymouthsaidyesmystomachsaidno.Isettledbackandsippedfromthebottle.
Thedeputywentbacktohisvehicleandbroughtbackamap.Samandhemovedup
the
porchtospreaditacrossthetopofarubbishcan.Sampointedoutsomespecificlocation
for
himandIheardhimsay,"...saidtherewerethreemen.TheyspokeSpanishtohimand
each
other.CouldbearivalcoyotegangI'veseenthathappen."
"Youseeanyvehicles?"
Samshookhishead."Onlydust.Youknow,kickedup,butmilesaway.Normal.
Nothing
closeenoughtoID.AndIwaslookin',too.Didn'twanttorunintotheassholeswhodid
for
Pablo."
"Hmm."Thedeputytiltedbackhishatandasked,"Yourunintoanybodyoutthere
who
wasn'tinavehicle?Someonewhojustneededalittlemorewaterbutkeptwalkin'?"
Samlaughed."Nottoday,Ken.Theoneswhodoitrightcrossatnightandholeupduring
theheatoftheday.TheymayhaveseenmeandConsuelo.Iusuallydon'tsee'ematall
unless
they'reinabadway."Hejerkedhischintowardtheambulance.
"Okay,then.Yougoingbackthere?"
"Nottoday.Goin'home."
"Hmmm.Okay.I'llputthewordouttothestatepoliceandtheborderpatrol.You
run
acrossanythingsuspicious,letusknow,right?"
"Right."
Theyshookhandsandthedeputywentbacktohiscarandbegantalkingontheradio.
Samglancedatmeandstartedtogointothestorethenstopped."Huh.Thereyou
are.
Where'dyougetthoseclothes?"
Iopenedmymouthtotellhim,butwhatcouldIsay?Really?
"Ididn'tnick'em."Istoodupandhandedhimtheflipflopsandthetwodollarshe'dgiven
meearlier.AshetookthemIdroppedbackontothebench,hard,surprised.My
kneeshad
givenoutanditseemedthegaspumpswereswayinginthewind."Whoa."
"Dizzy,eh?"Helookedatmeamomentlonger."Gonnagasup.Don'treallyneeditbutit'll
givethedeputytimetomoveoff.Youjustsithere,right?WishIoh,well.Justsit.Rest.
You
feelfaint,putyourheadbetweenyourknees."

20

Inodded.
Hewentbacktothetruck.They'djustfinishedputtingPablointhebackoftheambulance
andSamexchangedafewwordswiththeparamedicbeforetheyclosedupand
droveoff
downthehighway,lightsflashingbutnosiren.Iclosedmyeyesforafewseconds
I
thoughtthenthetruckwasthere,rightinfrontofme.
"Whydon'tyouliedowninback,Griff?"
IwonderedifIshouldgowiththematall,butIdidn'tknowwhatelsetodo.Thethought
oflyingdownwasgood,reallygood.Inoddedandhehelpedmeclimboverthe
tailgateand
dropontothecanvasstretcher.Hegavemeafoldedblankettouseasapillow."We're
headed
westcabshouldshadeyou,takesaboutfortyfiveminutes,allright?""Allright,"Isaid.
HetuckedtheGatoradebetweenmyarmandmyside.Ithoughtaboutdrinkingagain,butit
wastoomucheffort.
Idon'tevenrememberhimpullingoutofthepetrolstation.

ChapterThree
BurningBridges

ConsuelolivedwithSam,butitwasastrangerelationship,almostasifshewashis
girlofallworkandhewasherlittleboy.Imean,shecleanedandcookedanddid
laundry.
Butshealsoscoldedhimconstantly,longburstsofrapidfireSpanishtowhichhe
almostalwaysanswered,"IClamquesi!"AtfirstIthoughttheyweremarried,butshe
hadherownlittlebedroominthebackwithawallofreligiousicons,saints,theVirgin
Mary,andJesus.
Theystayedathomethedayafterthey'dfoundmebutforthenextfourdaysafterthat,
they
loadedthetruckupwiththestretcherandmedicalsuppliesandbottledwateranddrove
out.
Consuelowouldmakemealunchandshowittomebeforeleaving."Ahitedejelistoto
lonche."Thenshewouldsay,"Descanzaybebemuchaagua."Andshewouldmime
drinking
fromabottle.
AndIwouldsay,"/Clawquesi!"
AndSamwouldlaughandshewouldstartscoldinghimagain.
Ididrestanddrankmuchawaterthefirstday.Andslept.Itwasveryeasytosleep.Iwas
tiredbutthinkingaboutanythingwell,aboutMumandDadexhaustedme.Itwascryor
sleep
andsometimesboth.
TheseconddayIwalkedaroundoutside.Itwasanoldadobehouseinthemiddleof
the
desert,withweatheredoutbuildingsforlivestockandhorsesbuttheywerelonggone.
The

21

onlyremotelydomesticatedanimalsonthepropertywereafewferalcats.
"Theykeephavingkittensbutthecoyoteskeeptheirpopulationdown,"Sam'dtold
me.
"Mydadsoldoffmostofthelandinthefifties,whenhewentfromranchingtorunning
the
coopintown,butit'sbeeninthefamilysincebeforetheTreatyofGuadalupe
Hidalgo.
Wouldn'tbeiftheyhadn'tmarriedAnglosintothefamily,butthatwaythelandgrant
stuck.
Didn'thurtthatnobodyreallywantedthisdesertcrap."
Hesaidtherewereneighborsaboutamileaway,butnobodycloser."Water'siffy.I'vegota
springbutmostplacesaroundhereyouhavetodrillsixhundredfeettogetwater."
Ispentmostofthetimeoutsidebytheconcretetankthatcapturedthespring.Therunoff
pouredoveralittlenotchintheedgeandrandownintoagulleyIguessitwouldbecalled
an
arroyo.Thelittlebrookdidn'tlastlongbeforeitsankintothesandybottom,butthis
wet
sectionofthearroyowasariotofgreen.Threelargecottonwoodsshadedthetankfor
most
ofthedayandifIsatstillIcouldcountonseeingbirds,jackrabbits,deer,andonce
Sam
pointedatatrackinthewetsandandsaid,"Desertbighorn.Veryrare."
ThethirddayIjumpedtoBalboaPark,onthesouthernedgeneartheaerospace
museum,
andcrossed15ontheParkBoulevardbridgetogettodowntownandthepubliclibrary
onE
street.ItwasalotcoolerinthecityneartheoceanandallthatbutIstillhadtorestoften.
Outsidethelibrary,fromtheplasticwindowofanewspapervendingmachine,my
face
staredatme,likethey'dputmeinthatmetalbox.
BOYSTILLMISSINGAFTERSUSPECTEDDRUGSLAYING.
Drugslaying?Ireachedintomypockettopulloutquarterstobuythepaperbutitsuddenly
feltlikeeverypersononthestreetwasstaringatme.InsteadIturnedandenteredthe
library,walkedbacktothemen'sloo,andlockedmyselfinastall.
Drugslaying?Thatdidn'tmakeanysense.
ThirtyminuteslaterIpeekedoutthebathroomdoorbuttherewasn'ttheswarmofpolice
Iexpected.NooneseemedinterestedinmeatallsoIworkedmywaybackto
periodicals
andsnaggedtheUnionTribune,thenfoundachairfacingthecorner.They'duseda
picture
fromMum'sdeskthatshetookatthezoothreemonthsearlier.
PolicestillseekmissingnineyearoldGriffinO'Conner(seephoto)afterfindingbothof
hisparentsmurderedintheirTexasStreetapartmentThursdaynight.DNAtestsofblood
found
onthesitearebelievedtobetheboy'sandheisfeareddead,buttherehasbeennosignof
the
boydeadoralivesincehewaslastseenathiskarateclassThursdayafternoon.
Personswith
informationareurgedtocontactthepoliceorCrimeStoppersat(888)580TIPS.

22

Largequantitiesofcocainefoundonthepremisesleadthepolicetobelievethat
Robert
andHannahO'Conner,UKcitizens,wereinvolvedinthesmugglingandsaleofdrugs,and
that
theslayingwaseithertheworkofarivalgangoradrugdealgonebad.
Utterrubbish.Mumdidn'tevenlikeitwhenDadhadmorethanonepintatapubbecause
she'dhadalcoholicsinherfamily.Whyonearthwouldthepolicethinkwell,'cause
they
foundthecocaine.Andthecocainewasn'ttherebefore,right?
Ifeltthismomentofdoubt,amomentofworldtwistingalienation,thenshookmyhead.If
therewascocaineintheapartment,thensomeonebroughtitwithhim,andno
matterhow
manytimesyouseethatsortofthingonTV,Idoubteditwasthepolice.Soitwas
the
murderers,butwhy?
Becausenobodycareswhathappenstodrugdealers.
Becausetherewouldn'tbeahueandcrytofindoutwhodiditifthevictimswere
criminalsthemselves.Andthepolicewouldbelookinginthewrongdirectionforother
drug
smugglersinthecity,notforpeoplewho'dbeenfollowingussincewe'dlivedinEngland.
Iputthepaperback,walkedbetweentwoshelves,andjumpedtotheelementary
school,
betweenthehedgeandthestairs,neartheflat.Ididn'twanttogodirectlythere.Iwas
afraid
theywerestillwatchingtheplace.Iftheywantedme,theycouldbewaitinginsideforme
to
appearagain.Andthey'dkillme.
Dead.
LikeMum.LikeDad.
Ididn'tunderstandit.Ihadn'tdoneanythingtothem.IwasprettysureMumandDad
hadn't,
either.Buttheyprettyclearlywantedmedead.
Iwalkedtowardtheflatandalmostimmediatelyawomanpushingababypramstopped
andsaid,"Aren'tyouthatBritishboywhoseparentswere"
"No,ma'am."TheonlyAmericanaccentIcoulddowithanysortofconvictionwasDeep
South."Ahjustlooklikehim.You'rethesecondpersonwho'ssaidthattoday."
"Oh."
IsmiledandwalkedonbutwhenIturnedthecornershewastalkingonhercellphone.
Buggerall.Icutintoanalleyandwhenthetallfenceshidme,Ijumpedaway.
EmptyQuarteragain.EitherIwasgettingbetterorI'dalreadymovedsomuchoftheloose
dirtherethattherewasn'tasmuchtosweepintotheair.Thebloodstainswerefadingbut
ants
werenowminingthedarkdirt.Itstillremindedmeofbloodstainsoncarpet.Ikicked
gravel
andsandoverthespot,antsandall.
IttookmeamomenttocalmdownenoughtojumpbacktoSam'splace,bythespring.I
splashedwaterovermyfaceandsatdownintheshade.Afterabit,Iwanderedback
tothe
houseandpulledoutthelunchthatConsuelohadleftmetamaleswithpork.Thesmell

23

made
mewanttortillacrispsandsalsa.Crunchy,saltycrispsandamediumsalsaIcouldn't
handle
thehotterstuff.
Whynot?
Ijumpedbacktotheelementaryschool.TherewasaSafewaymarketablockeastofthe
schoolgroundsandIwentthereandboughttortillacrispsandsalsaandseverallargebottles
ofGatorade,thenjumpedbacktothespring.IstartedtoputtheextraGatoradein
the
fridgetherewasplentyofroombutthenIthoughtaboutSamandConsueloseeingitthere
so
Istashedthebottlesundermybedinstead.Thecrispsandsalsatastedgoodreallygood
andI
atethemuntilthebagwasemptyandIwasuncomfortablyfull.
ThebagIburiedatthebottomoftherubbishbin,butthesalsajarwashalffullsoIputitat
thebackofthefridge,behindthepicklesandmayonnaise.
Iwantedtotakeanotherrunattheflat,totrytogettherewithoutdrawingattention,butI
wastiredandsleepyfromthewalkingandthefullstomach.Iwasstillweak,Iguess,from
the
bloodloss.Ithoughtaboutjumpingdirectlybacktomyroom,butIrememberedthe
footsteps
onthestair.Maybethey'dplantedbugs?Maybetheywerewatching?
Isatdownonthebed.ThepillowpulledatmeandIslumpedover.Iwasasleepalmost
immediatelyaftermyheadtouchedthepillowcase.
SambroughthometheSanDiegoNewsDailyandhandedittomeintheliving
room.
"TheyhadthisattheStopNGo,"hesaid.
They'dusedthesamephoto.
BOYFEAREDDEADAFTERPARENTSKILLED.
Thestorywasalittledifferentbuthadprettymuchthesamefacts,includingthebitabout
drugsandtheimplicationthatDadandMumwerecriminals.IclenchedmyteethasIreadit.
"It'srubbish,youknow,aboutthedrugs.Notinourhomenever.Mumhadan
unclehewasanalcoholicandhediedofit.Weweren'tverywelloffMumwasn't
workingbecause
shewashomeschoolingme,andDadcouldn'tgetproperworkbecausethey're
supposedtohireAmericansfirstinhisspecialty.Tomaketherentwewerestretching
everypennyofDad'ssalary.Ifthey'dbeensellingdrugs,thinkwe'dhavetolivelikethat?"
Hetiltedhisheadtooneside."IonlyknowwhatI'vereadandwhatyou'vetoldme.And
youain'ttoldmemuch.Andwhatyoudidtellhassome,wellwhatisyournameagain?"
MyearsgothotandIlookedaway."Sorry.Thenewspaperhasitright.It'sjustitwasme
theywereaskingforwhentheycametothedoor.Myname.I"Ilookedatthewall
and
squeezedmyeyesshut."Theyweren'tafterMumandDad.Theywereafterme!"
Neverjumpwheresomeonecanseemeandneverjumpnearhome.I'ddoneboth
and
MumandDadweredead.
"Really.Theywantedtokillyou?"Heraisedhiseyebrows."Didyouseesomething
you
weren'tsupposedto?Oristheremoneyinvolved?Doyoustandtoinherit

24

something?"He
pulledawoodenchairfromthewallandstraddleditbackward,armsrestingacrossthe
back.
Hegesturedatthepaper."Thiswasn'tyouraveragesickohuntinglittlekids,wasit?The
paper
saidtheneighborssawmultipleassailantsleave,sotherewasmorethanoneattacker,
right?"
Inodded,nottrustingmyselftospeak.
"Theycametothedooraskingforyou?Notyourdadormom?"
"Didn'tIjustsaythat?It'snotinheritance,though.Andtheyweren'tcomingafterme
becauseIsawsomethingIshouldn't."
"Thenwhy?Thisisn'ttheSudan.Peopledon'tjustkillkidsfornoreason.Eventhesickos
haveareason."
"It'ssomethingIdid."Itjustpoppedoutofmymouth,withoutthought.Myheartracedfor
amomentbutItookadeepbreathandsaid,"It'ssomethingIcando."
Consuelo,workingondinnerinthekitchen,steppedintothelivingroomandheldup
a
plasticbagwithafewpintobeansinthebottom."Sam!Necesitamoshabas.Okay?"
Heglancedoverhisshoulderandsaid,"Okay.Mananacompro?"
"Tempranitoenlamanana!"
"Okayfirstthing."Heshruggedandturnedbacktome."Whatdoyoumean,somethingyou
did?Youkilltheirdogorsomething?Pissintheirpool?Andyou'regoingtodoitagain?"
It'sagainsttherules.He'dneverbelievemewithoutademonstration.Sowhydoesit
matterifhebelievesyou?Itjustdid.AndtheywereDad'sandMum'srulesandthey
weredead."Rememberatthepetrolstop,whenyouaskedmewhereI'dgottenthese?"I
pointedat
myshirtandpants.
Hiseyesnarrowed."Yeah.Thoughtmaybeyou'dstashedthemnearthestationearlier."
Ishookmyheadandstoodup."Consueloneedsbeans."
"YeahI'llget'eminthemorning."
IjumpedtotheSafewaybackinSanDiego,whereI'dgottenthecrispsandsalsaearlier.I
gotthetwentypoundburlapbagofpintobeansandpaidforitinthequickcheckline.
FourminutesafterI'ddisappearedfromSam'slivingroomIreappeared.Thechair
he'd
beensittingonwasonthefloor,onitsside.Hewasinthecorner,pouringsomething
froma
bottleintoaglass,butairsweptaroundtheroomasIarrivedandhishandjerked,spilling
the
liquid."Dammit!"
Iheftedthebag."Beans."
Hestaredforamomentthentookagulpfromtheglass.
Icarriedthebeansintothekitchenandputthemdownonthecounter.
Consuelolookedsurprised,thenpleased."Bueno!"SherattledoffaphraseinSpanish
towardthelivingroomandSam'svoice,hoarserthanusual,answered,"Si.Yose."
Iwentbackinandsatdownonthecouch.
Afteramoment,Samputthebottleawayandbroughthisglassacrosstheroom.Hepicked
upthechairandsatonit,forwardthistime,slumpedalittle.
"Whatwasthat?"heaskedquietly,hisvoicestillhoarse.Thesmellofwhiskeycamewith
hisbreath,remindingmeofDad'sweeklyscotch.

25

"IwenttoaSafeway,inSanDiego,boughtthebeans,andcameback."
"Igotthebeanpart.Youboughtthem?"
"Theexpresslinewasempty."
"Well,yeah,IguessIseethat.WhatIdon'tgetisthetravelingtoSanDiegopart."
Inodded."It'sthethingIcando.Ijumped.Teleported.Whateveryouwanttocallit."
"Isthathowyougotthoseclothes?"
Inodded."Yeah,Iwentbacktomyflatandgotmyallowanceandmypassport."Myvoice
brokeandconvulsivelyIsaid,"Thetapeoutlineswerestillthereandtheblood.And
someone
startedtocomeupthestairsandIjumpedaway."
"Deepbreaths,kid.Slowitdown."
Inoddedandtriedthat,untilmyheartwasn'tracing.
Afterabitheasked,"Howlonghaveyoubeenabletodothisthing?"
"IdiditforthefirsttimewhenIwasfive,backinOxford.Inpublic.Infrontofwitnesses.
We'vebeenmovingeversince."
"Moving?Why?"
"DadandMumsaiditwasthepeoplewhostartedshowingup,askingquestionsat
their
work.Thentherewasaclosecallonthestreetacar.Ithoughtitwasacareless
driver.
Anyway,Iskippedbackbehindapostalboxandhemissedmebuthekeptdriving.No
harm
done,Ithought.ButMumsawitfromupstairs.IheardhertellDadhe'dbeenwaitingforme
to
cross."
Hesuckedonhisteeth."Canyougoanywhere?"
"AnywhereI'vebeenbeforethatIcanrememberwellenough."
Heswallowedthelastofhiswhiskey."Icanseewhythey'dwantyoucouldbehandy.But
whydotheywanttokillyou?IfIcoulddowhatyoudoifIwasthesortofman...I'dwant
to
captureyou,tousewhatyoudo."
"Well,Dadtalkedaboutthat,too.WereadthatStephenKingbookaboutthegirlwhois
kidnappedbythegovernment."
"Firestarter"saidSam."Didn'treaditbutIsawthemovie."
"Yeah,withDrewBarrymore.Werenteditafterwereadthebook."
"Butwhynotsomethinglikethat?Whydotheywanttokillyouinstead?"
MyheartstartedracingandIwasbreathingfastagain.BeforeSamsaidanything
I
deliberatelytookdeep,slowbreaths.Griefmayhavebeenoneofthethingsthatthegauze
was
mufflingbutIrecognizedtheotherthingnow.
Fear.
Theyweregoingtokillme.Theyfollowedusforoverfiveyearsuntiltheyfoundus
and
thentheytriedtokillme.Mademewanttohideunderabed.Mademewanttocurlupin
a
ballandpulldirtoverme.
Iwentbacktojustbreathing.Sam'squestionstillfloatedoutthere,though,likea
falling

26

glassofmilk.Youcan'tgrabitintime,youjustwatchitasitdrops,anticipatingthe
spreading
puddleofwhiteliquidandjaggedglass."Idon'tknowwhytheywanttokillme."
Later,aftersupper,intheduskaftersunset,ItoldSamIwasgoingbacktotheflat."Why?"
"Well,foronething,myclothesarestartingtostink.Iwantmythings."
"Anddon'tyouthinkthey'llbewaiting?"
"Ofcourse!"MyvoicewasshrillandIclampedmymouthshutandconcentratedon
my
breathingagain.IwonderedifIwasgettingasthmaorsomething.AfterabitIsaid,
"I'mnot
goingstraightthere.I'lljumptotheneighborhoodfirstandcheckitout."
"Clothescanbebought,kid."
Idugoutmyhoardandspreaditoutonthecoffeetable.Thereweresixtythreedollars
andsomechange,fifteenfrancs,andsevenpounds,eightshillings,fourp."Notreallygonna
last
thatlong,isit?
"Besidesit'smybirthday.I'mten.Ishouldbeabletogetmyownstuff."
"Ireallydon'tthinkyoushou"
Didn'theartherestbutasIwalkedtowardtheflatfrommyjumpsitebehindtheschool
hedge,Ifeltguilty.IhopeIhadn'tmessedupthelivingroomtoomuch.Samhaddone
nothing
buthelpmeandwhathadIdoneforhim,besidesthebagofbeans?
TheflatusedtobejuststorageoverthedetachedgarageofasmallhouseonTexas
Street,
butnowthehouseitselfwasaseparaterentalpropertywithafrontdrivewayandtheyard
had
beensplitwithfencing.Therewasanarrowpathbackalongthefencetotheflatbutthere
was
apolicecaronthestreet,prettymuchwhereonehadbeenpreviously.Thecopinside
was
readingbythedomelight.
Ibacktrackedandtooktothealley,stickingtotheshadowsasIgotclosertothehouseand
avoidingthebackyardswithdogs.Fortunately,mostofthedogswereinsideandthe
onethat
wasn't,abigLabradornamedLucky,livedintherentalhouseinfrontandknewme.There
was
agapinthefenceatthecornerofhisbackyardandIcrouchedandsnakedmyhand
into
scratchLucky'shead.Hepantedandshifted,puttingmoreofhisbodyinreach.Iwas
working
onhisupperneckwhenIfelthisearsgoupandhisheadshiftedtotheright,downthe
alley.
Hegaveahalfhearted,"Woof!"butthenshovedhisheadbackintomyhand.Afterafew
more
secondsofscratching,Iheardthedistantscuffingoffeetongravel.
Lucky'sfenceputmeindeepshadowandIwasalsoscreenedfromthatdirectionby
an
overdevelopedhibiscusgrowingintothealleyfromthecornerofouryard.Peeking
around

27

thehibiscusatkneelevelIsawtheoutlineofthreemenwalkingdownthealleyway,
backlit
bythedistantstreetlight.Oneofthemcarriedashoulderslungbagandtheyall
walked
oddlyliftingeachfootfromthegroundandthenputtingitdownheelfirstbeforerolling
the
footforwardtothetoes.
Ipulledmyheadbackquickly,afraidthey'dseenme,and,infact,Iheardsomeone
say,
"What'sthat?"
ThenLuckybeganbarkingupastorm,rightbymyhead.Inearlyrecoiledoutintothealley
butrealizeditwasthevoicehewasbarkingat.
Lucky'sowner,Mr.Mayhew,cametothebackdoor."Lucky!Getyournoisyassin
here!"
Luckywentboundingtothebackdoor."Whatdidyouhear?"hesaidquietly.Heputthedog
in
butstoodthereonthebackporchforamoment,listening.IwonderedifLuckyhad
been
barkingthenighttheykilledMumandDad.
AfteramomentIheardthedoorcreakagainandlightsilhouettedMr.Mayhewas
he
steppedbackintohiskitchen.
Ileanedforwardatad,lookingthroughthebranchesofthehibiscus.Thethreemen
had
flattenedthemselvesagainstthegaragedoorinresponsetoLucky'sbarking,butwhen
Mr.
Mayhewwentbackinsidetheymovedagain,workingquickly.Thestairwayfromthe
flat
descendedtowardthestreet,andatgroundlevelitwasvisiblefromthepatrolcar
parkedin
front.Insteadofgoingthatway,theonewiththebagsetittotheside,thenstepped
between
theothertwo.Theybothdroppedtoonekneeandgrabbedhisankles,thenstood
abruptly,
throwinghimstraightup.
Hegrabbedtherailingaboveandgotonefootonthelandingwithonlytheslightestnoise,
thenswungovertherailinganddroppedtoacrouchbeforethedoor.Ipresumedthe
door
waslockedbuthehaditopenalmostimmediately.Hestoodupagainandleaned
overthe
railing.Themenbelowheavedupthehangingbag,buthealmostmissedit,snaggingitby
the
strapatthelastminute.Oneofthemenbelowsaid,"Careful,youblad!"
"Shhh!"theotherhissed.
"Shhhyourself.Thedetonatorswould'vemadealotmorenoisethanme."Irecognizedthe
voice.ItwasthemanwiththeBristolaccent.
Onthelandingabove,themandisappearedintotheflat.
Thetwomenbelowsteppedbackintotheshadowofthegaragedoor."Whatkeepsitfrom
blowingupsomeoneelseinsteadthepolice,orthelandlord?"

28

"Thedoorsensor.Peoplewhocomeinnormally,well,they'renotgonnasetitoff.Butif'e
popsin,themotionsensortripswhenthedoorsensorhasn'tsee?That'lldo'imatreat."
Likeyoudidformyparents?IgropedforarockabigrockIcouldthroworstrikewith.
Therewasalineofbricksundertheedgeofthefence,tokeepLuckyfromdiggingout.I
was
abletopullonefromthecorner,ajaggedhalfbricktuckedintocompletetherow.I
wanted
toheaveitatthemandjumpaway.Ormaybejumprightnexttothemandhittheminthe
face
withit?
MyhandswereshakingandIdidn'tknowifitwasfearorragebutIdidn'ttrustmyselfto
throwthebrickandhitanything.
Theguyfromupstairscameoutanddroppedtheemptyshoulderbagovertherailing,
then
swungover,loweredhimselfuntilhehungatarm'slengthanddropped.
Dammit!
Ijumpedtothemiddleofthestreetandsteppeduptothepolicecar."Hey,"Iwhispered.
Thecoprecoiled,surprised,hisbookdroppingandonehandgoingdowntohisgun
belt.
"Aren'tyou?"
"Yes!Butthemenwhokilledmyparentsarerightthere!"Istabbedmyfingerbackdown
thebrickpathtothestairway."Behindthegarage."
Onlytheyweren'tbehindthegarage.
Projectilesshatteredthepassengerwindowsandslashedsidewaysandthenthecop
was
bentover,hisheadhalfwayoutthewindow,clawingatthethingstickingoutofhis
neck,a
thingwithacableattachedtoit,andIwasintheEmptyQuarterinawhirlwindofdirt
and
brush.
Ohgod,ohgod,ohmigod.Hadtheyseenmejump?WhenIappearedatthecopcar?ButI
wasontheotherside,awayfromthem.I'mshortthecarshould'veblockedme.
Istillhadthebrickinmyhand.Therewasbloodonmyshirt.Thecop'sblood.
Ijumpedbacktothealleyandpeeredupthepath.Thethreewereoutbythecar,weapons
leveled,eachlookinginadifferentdirection,buttheyallturnedbacktowardmethe
instantI
appeared.
TheyknowwhenIjump.
TheyranbacktowardtheflatandIjumpedagain,butonlydownthealley,below
my
bedroomwindow.IheardtheirfootstepsbythestairsandIheavedtherockup,
hardasI
could,throughmywindow.
Fire,light,sound,andflyingglass.Icouldn'thavestayedthereifItried,butIreturnedtothe
endoftheblockalmostassoonasI'dflinchedawaytotheEmptyQuarter.
Debriswasstillrainingdownandtheroofwasgonefromtheflatandeverycaralarm
in
thecityseemedtobegoingoff.Iwalkedcarefullyupthesidewalkasdozensofpeople
came

29

outoftheirhomestolookwideeyeddownthestreet.
Ibacktrackedandlookeddownatthemouthofthealley,wherethemenhadcomefrom
whenIfirstsawthem.Afteraminute,twoofthemappeared,draggingthethirdwithhis
arms
acrosstheirshoulders.AstheypassedunderthestreetlightIsawbloodontheirfaces
flying
glass,Idecidedandoneofthemsmoked,literally,puffsofsmokerisingfromhis
hairand
shoulder.
Acarcameupthestreetandstoppedabruptly.Theypushedthemanwhocouldn'twalk
intothebackandclimbedinonbothsides,thenthecarwasmovingtowardme.
Isteppedbehindatreeandwatcheditgoby.Atthenextblockitturnedright.In
the
distance,theblareofcaralarmswasreplacedbytherisingsoundofemergencyservice
sirens.
ForamomentIthoughtaboutwalkingbacktothefiat,toseeiftherewasanything
left,
anythingIcouldtakeaway,buttheneighborhoodwaswellandtrulyrousedandtoo
manyof
themknewmyface.
Ijumped.

ChapterFour
GrasshoppersandCharcoal

WhenthebusstoppedinLaCrucecita,Ithoughtitwasjustanotherstopinthe
journey.We'dbeenfivedaysonsecondclassbusesandruterassharedminivansin
whichtheotherpassengersmightincludechickensandwhereI'dendedupwithababy
ortoddlerin
mylapmorethanonce.We'dstayedonenightinahotelinMexicoCitybutotherwiseit
wasnapas
youcouldonthecrowded,bouncingbuses.
Consuelosaid,"Hemosllegado,"andafterfivedaysofhearingnothingbutSpanish,I
actuallyunderstoodher.
We'darrived.Icouldn'tsmellthesea.Icouldn'tseeit.Ismelleddieselsmokefrom
the
bus.Ismelledsomethinginvolvingcattle.Ismelledsomeonecookingonions.
Mystomachrumbled.Exceptforsomecrispsonthebus,we'dlasteateninOaxaca,halfa
daybefore.
Mostofthepassengerswho'dgottenoffatLaCrucecitatookthestreettowarddowntown
butConsueloledmebehindthestationandupaforestedhillonatrailhalf
overgrownby
bananatreesandbrush.Itwashumidbutnottoohotnotlikesomeoftheplaces
onour
journeywhereithadtakenallmywillpowernottojumpbacktosomeairconditionedmall.
Wecrestedthehillinlessthantenminutesandwalkedintoabreezethatdidsmellofthe

30

sea.LookingbetweenthetreesIsawflashesofsapphireblue.Consueloturnedupthe
ridge,
awayfromthewater,butthankfully,stillinthebreeze.Afteranotherfiveminutesshe
pointed
downslopeataredclaytiledrooftopvisiblebetweenthetrees."Finalmentehemos
llegado!"
IshifteduntilIcouldseemoreofitaroundthetrees.Itwasnarrowrowsofbuilding
aroundthreesidesofabrickpatio.Alowwallstoodattheopenendbuttherewas
also
constructionadditionstobothwingswereinprogress,extendingtherectangle.
Consuelocrossedherselfandthenturnedtome."WalMart.Okay,Greeefin?"
We'dbeenworkingonmySpanishthewholetrip."No,acuerdatemellamoGuillermo."
"Okay.Lorecordare.WalMart,okay,Guillermo?"
"Clawquesi,"Isaid."Unmomento."
ThefirsttimeI'djumpedinfrontofConsuelo,she'dgonebacktothealtarinherroomand
returnedwithavialofclearliquid.She'dsplasheditacrossmyfaceandchestandbegana
long
Latinspeechthatbegan"Exorcizote"butthat'sallIcaught,really.
TherefollowedanextremelylongargumentanddiscussionbetweenSamandConsueloin
whichshekeptusingthewordselDiabloanddemonio,andheusedtheword
milagro
multipletimes.Finally,tosettleit,IhadtogointoElCentrowithherandkneelin
the
sanctuaryofOurLadyofGuadalupe,crossmyselfwithholywaterandtake
communionat
Mass,whichwasprobablyasin,sinceIwasn'tCatholic,butshewasn'tconcerned
aboutsin
perse,butpoderesdelinfierno.
ShedecidedIwasn'tademonorpossessedbutshewasnevercompletely
comfortable
aboutit.
Samwasn'thomebutthestuffwaswaitingwherewe'dleftit,intheoldstabletwogarden
carts(biggerthanwheelbarrows)andalargepileofclothes,shoes,toys,diapers(for
her
growndaughter'snewestbaby),andtools.Istartedwiththecarts,ajumpapiece,then
began
ferryingtherest.ConsuelotookwhatIbroughtandstackeditinthecarts,lashingthe
resulting
headhighstacksinplace.Itwasn'tallboughtfromWalMart.Justmostly.
Itwasbumpybutdownhilltothehousesotheissuewaskeepingthecartsfromrunning
awayfromusratherthanpushingthem.Consuelo'smother,thematriarchofthefamily,
was
thefirsttoseeher.Thereweretearsandhugs.Consuelohadn'tbeenhomesinceher
husband
andson'sfuneralthreeyearsbefore.
Childrenandafewadultsfollowedquickly,butmostoftheadultswereatworkandthe
olderchildrenwereenlaescuela.IwasintroducedasGuillermo,theorphan.LaCrucecita
is
avillageonthesouthcoastofOaxaca,partofalargerresortareacalledBahfasde

31

Huatulco,
aboutfivehundredkilometerssoutheastofMexicoCity,acoupleofhundredwestof
the
Guatemalaborder.ThebluePacificwaterremindedmeoftheBayofSiam,like
sapphires
shininginthesun.Itwasn'tthatcrowded,comparedwithAcapulcoorPuertoVallarta,
but
beingagringo,Iwouldn'tstandoutthatmuch,becauseofthetourists.Thatwasthe
theory,
explainedbyConsuelothroughSam.
Herextendedfamilyworkedfortheresorthotelsasmaids,gardeners,busboys,and
cooks.
Thosewhodidn'tworkfortheresortswereintheU.S.,sendingmoneyback,butthis
was
changingastheresortsgrewandenteringthestatesbecameharder.
TherewasawelcomehomefiestathateveningandConsuelohandedoutpresentsforone
andall.Iwould'vebeenlostexceptforAlejandra,oneofConsuelo'smanynieces.
Besides
Spanish,shespokeEnglish,French,andGerman,wastwentyfiveandbeautiful.She'd
been
workinginthetouristindustrysinceshewassixteenandhadattendedtheInstitutode
Idiomas
inMexicoCity.Sheranatranslationservicesagencyandtaughtweeklongimmersion
classes
inSpanish,workingwiththeresorts."VisitbeautifulHuatulco,lieonthebeach,and
learn
espanol,"shesaid.Shesmiledoftenwithhereyesbutwhenherwidemouthopened
intoa
grin,itwasstaggering.
Ittookmefiveminutestofallinlovewithher.
WespokeinFrench,notbecauseherEnglishwasn'texcellent,butbecauseshehad
less
opportunitytopracticeFrench.ThatwasalittledifficultformeMumandIwouldspeak
in
French.
SheintroducedmetoeverybodyfromSefioraMonjarrazyRomera,Alejandra's
grandmotherandConsuelo'smother,tohermanycousins'children.Iwasgivenname
after
name,butonlyheldontoafew.Thefoodwasbothfamiliarandstrange.Iateatortilla
filled
withguacamoleandsomedelicious,spicycrunchything."Whatisit?Uh,qu'estceque
c'est?"
Alejandra'seyeswerealight."Chapulines...lossaltamontes."
IlookedconfusedandshetriedFrench."Lessauterelles."
Ittookmeaminute."LessutereGRASSHOPPERS?I'meatinggrasshoppers?"Iunrolled
thetortillaanditbecamealltooclearshewastellingthetruth:legsandall,fried,
fromthe
looksofthem.
Shelaughed."Ifyoudon'twantthem,I'lleatthem."Shereachedout.

32

Stubbornly,Irolledthembackupandatetherestofit.Crunch,crunch,crunch.Itwasstill
deliciousbutknowing...Ididn'tgobackforseconds.
ThenextdayIhadlaturista,reallybad,withafeverandcrampsandthegroaning,stumbling
runtothetoiletoverandover.Iwantedtoblamethegrasshoppers,butnomatterwhat
elseI
thought,they'dcertainlybeencookedwell.Consuelobroughtmeabitterteatodrink.When
I
askedwhatitwas,shesaidsomethinginSpanishandadded,"Paraladiarrea."
Grasshoppertea,nodoubt.
Later,shebroughtasmallwoodenboxandburneditbythewindowinametalpan.When
thecharcoalhadcooleddownshemimedeatingit."Cometeelcarbondelaleha."
"Yuck!Absolutelynot."
Alejandracameandcoaxedmeintotakingit."Itabsorbstoxinsandisthequickestwayto
stopthediarrhea.Youonlytakeitthisonce.Nomoreafter.Thatwouldbebadforyou."
"Idon'twantto.Youalsoeatgrasshoppers!"Isetmyteethandcurledinonmyself,
preparedtoresisttothedeath.Butshedidn'tplayfair.
"Faitescecipourmoi,moncher."
French,dammit.
"Forher."Imanagedhalfofthecharcoalwasheddownwithsomesaltyboiledwater.
"For
electrolytes."Andtheystoppedbotheringme.
TherunsdidstopafterthatandIwasabletoeatricewithchickenbroththatevening.Two
dayslater,aftermyfirstfullysolidmeal,AlejandraandConsuelotookmeouttothepatio
and
wesatintheshadeofthebananatreesgrowingnearthewall.
"Myaunttellsmethatyouarenotjustanorphan,butthatthosewhokilledyourmother
andfatherarestillafteryou."
Reluctantly,Inodded.Iknewwehadtotellher.Itwasn'trighttoaskhertohelpwithout
knowing.ButIlikedher.Ididn'twanthertopushmeaway,tonotwantanythingtodo
withme.
"Andshebroughtyouheretoavoidthem.Theywouldstillkillyouiftheycouldfindyou."
"Yes."
"Shewon'ttellmewhytheywanttokillyou.Shesays
onlyyoucantellme."
"Ah."IlickedmylipsandnoddedtoConsuelo."Gracias."ToAlejandraIsaid,"Thatthat
wasgoodofher."Consuelowaskeepingmysecret.
Consuelosaidsomethingthen,andtherewasabriefbackandforthbetweenher
and
Alejandrathatwastoofastformetofollow.
Alejandralookedbackatme,alittleconfused."Shesayssheiswillingtotrythatthing.The
thingshesaidshedidn'twanttodobefore."
IraisedmyeyebrowsatConsuelo.Iknewwhatshewastalkingabout.I'dsuggesteditback
inSam'slivingroom,wherehecouldtranslate,butshe'dbeenafraid.Iguessthethoughtof
five
moredaysonbusesandruteraswasmoredaunting.
AnditwouldcertainlyanswerAlejandra'sunspokenquestion.
"Whendoesshewanttoleave?"
Comparedwiththestuffwearrivedwith,Consuelo'slittlesuitcasewastiny,butshewas
takingbackaboxofregionalfoodsshecouldn'tbuyinCalifornia.

33

"Anygrasshoppers?iChapulines?"Iasked.
AlejandralaughedandConsuelasaid,"No.Samnolike."
Still,walkinguphillintothejungle,theboxwasheavyandIwassweatingbythetimewe
reachedthelevelspotwhereI'dtransportedConsuelo'sgifts.Icould'vejumpedherefrom
the
patiobutIwascautious.I'ddecidedthattheruleshadsomemerit.
Sowhataboutrulefour?Whotellsyouwhenit'sokaytojump?
"Canyoukeepasecret?Likeyouraunt?"IusedEnglish.Ididn'ttrustmyFrenchandithad
tobecrystalclear.
Alejandratiltedherheadtooneside."Willithurtme?Willithurtmyfamily?"
Iswallowed."Notkeepingitcouldhurtyourfamily."ShefrownedandIsaid,"I
would
neverhurtthem,butthosewhoareaftermemighthurtthem,gettingtome."
"Okay.Icankeepasecret."Sheleanedslightlyclosertomethanherauntandwhispered,
"Andwhotellstheirparentseverything?"
Ouch.
"Allright.Let'sstartwiththisbox."
IjumpedtoSam'slivingroom.Hewasn'tintherebutIheardmovementinthekitchen.I
calledout,"Sam,it'sGriffin."
"Jesus!"Iheardadishclatteracrossthebottomofthesink.Heappearedinthe
door,
wipinghishandswithadishtowel."Everythingokay?"
"It'sfine.TheseareConsuelo's,"Isaid,raisingtheboxslightly.Iputitonthetable.
"She
changedhermindaboutthetravelingthing."
"Oh?Youguyssomeplaceprivate?"
"Youeverbeenthere?"
"Forthefuneral."
Istaredathim."Ididn'tknowyouknewherthen."
Heshrugged."Just.Ifoundthem.Theirbodies."
Oh."Well,we'reinthejungle,upthehillsidefromthehouse."
Henodded.
"Okay,then.I'llbeback."
AlejandrawassittingonConsuelo'ssuitcase,herheadbetweenherknees.Consuelo
was
fanningherwithahat.
Ikneltbesideher."Youokay?"
"JesusCristo!"Shesatup."MitiadicemyauntsaysyoujusttraveledtoCalifornia."
"Verdad."IntheweekI'dknownher,I'dneverseenherlosetrackofwhichlanguageshe
wasspeaking.
"Andbackagain?"
"Yeah."
"How?"
"Beatsme.CanIhavethesuitcase?"Ipointed.ShestoodupabruptlyandConsuelo
steadiedher.Itookthecaseandjumped.
Samwassittinginthecorner,armscrossed.Iputthesuitcasedownagainstthewall."What
tooksolong?""Alejandra."
Hefrowned,thensaid,"Consuelo'sniece?Isshethere?""Yeah.Onlyher,butwedidn'ttell
herfirst.Onlyaskedforsecrecy.She'salittlefreaked."

34

Hiseyebrowswentup."Well,itdotakesomegettingusedto."
Ijumpedback.Alejandraflinchedbutitdidn'tseemtobefear.Justthesuddenappearance
ofsomethingunexpected,caughtfromthecornerofyoureye.
"So,you'regoingtotakemyauntnow?"
"That'stheplan."
"Haveyoueverdonethisbefore,withaperson?"
Ishookmyhead."Whenwewerediscussingit,backatSam'splace,Itrieditwithakitten.
Workedfine."
"Myauntislargerthanakitten.HowdoIknowyouwon'tleavepartofherbehind?"
"That'sjustgross,"Isaid.Butitworriedmeabit.TheheaviestthingI'dcarriedwas
the
cartswe'dused.Theyonlyweighedaboutthirtyfivepounds,though,bigastheywere.
Alejandrasaid,"Tryitwithmefirst."
"What?"
Consuelo,watchingusbothcarefully,said,"iQuedijiste?"
AlejandrapursedherlipsandIrealizedshedidn'twanttotellheraunt,that
Consuelo
wouldprotest.
IsteppeduptoAlejandrafrombehindandputmyarmsaroundher.Ionlycameuptoher
shoulderblades;mycheekpressedagainstherspinethroughthethincottonofher
sundress.
Shesmelledwonderful.
Consuelosaidsomethingsharplyandtookasteptowardus.Ijumped.
Istaggeredabit,butwewerebothinSam'slivingroom.
Alejandragaspedandstaggered,too,andIsteadiedherkeptherfromfallingover.After
a
momentshesaid,"Uh,Guillermo,youcanletgo."
"Ah."Isteppedslightlyawayfromher,thencaughtheragainasherkneesbuckled.
SamandIhelpedhersitonthecouch.
"Where'sConsuelo?"saidSam."Iseverythingallright?"
"Youexplain,"IsaidtoAlejandra,andjumped.
ConsuelowastalkingfastandfuriouswithlotsofgesturesandIcouldn'tgetonewordin
ten,muchlessmeaning.Well,Ididn'tunderstandthesentencesbutIsure
understoodthe
sentiment.
IkepttryingtocalmherdownbutfinallyIjustjumpedbehindher,likeplayingtagwith
Dadinourexercises,putmyarmsaroundher,andjumped.
WebothstaggeredforwardinSam'slivingroom,butSamsteadiedConsueloandAlejandra
grabbedmyarm.
Everyonewasalittlewideeyed,evenme.
Deepbreaths.
"Youknow,"Isaid,"I'mhungry!"
Consuelocouldn'tstandforanyoneto"havehunger."Shedidn'tevenneedittranslated.
WeateoutbythespringandAlejandramarveledatthedrynessoftheairandthetreesand
therockybrownhills.
"iDondeestdloverde?"sheaskedheraunt.Whereisthegreen?
Consuelogotastonylookonherface.'Wotenemosagua,nihayverde."
Irealizedwhatshewasthinkingabout:herhusbandandson.Nowater,nogreen.
Alejandrarealizedit,too."/Oh,perdoneme!Nopense."Ididn'tthink.

35

Consuelowavedherhand.'Woesimportante."ShesaidsomethingelsethatI
couldn't
understand.
Alejandratranslated."She'sgladshedoesn'thavetospendallthattimeonthebuses.
Even
ifitwasterrifying."
"TravelAirGriffin.Whenyouabsolutelyhavetobetheretoday."
"Greefin?WhyGreefin?"
"Uh,that'smyname.Myrealname.ConsueloandIchoseGuillermobecausethey
know
myrealname,thepeoplewhokilledmyparents.AndGriffinisunusual.So,it's
Guillermo,
okay?Imean,youcancallmeGriffininprivate,Iguess."
"No,"saidSam."Goonasyoumeantogoon.Shecallsyoutwodifferentthings,it'seasyto
getmixedup.Shecallsyouonething,thenshe'snotlikelytomakeamistakein
frontof
someoneelse."
Alejandranodded."True.Butgoingon?Arewemeaningtogoon?"
SamswitchedtoSpanish,askingConsuelosomething,andtheconversationbroadened
to
includeallthreeofthem,butIdidn'tfollowit.IwaswatchingAlejandra.Waiting.Hoping.
Finally,sheturnedtomeandsaid,"Well,GrifGuillermo.Doyouwanttolivewithmein
LaCrucesita?IhaveasmallhousebehindtheHotelVillaBlanca,justacrossfrom
Chaue
Beach.Thereisasmallroomabovethecarportwithspiderwebs."Sheshuddered.
"Butit
couldbecleanedout."
Inoddedsolemnly.
"You'dhavetostudyhardandlearnespanolbecauseI'dbetellingeveryoneyouare
a
distantcousinonmymother'sside,theLosadas.She'sfromMexicoCity,notdeellado
demi
familiadeLaCrucecita.Andyouwouldhavetogotothebeachoften,totan,sopeople
would
notcallyouelgringito."
Inoddedmorevigorously."Allright.I'llworkhardandI'llkeepupmyhome
schooling.
AndI'lllearnSpanespanol.AndIcanshopforyou,intheUnitedStatesifyouwant,
or
Thailand,orLechlade,uh,ourvillagebackinOxfordshireinEngland."
"Whoa,boy,"saidSam."YouaregoingdowntoOaxacatodisappear,notdrawmore
attentiontoyourself."
MyearsgothotandIstaredatthetableforamoment."Uh,right."
Alejandrareachedoutandtouchedmyarm."I'msureyouwillbeabighelptome.
You
alreadyspeakFrenchandEnglish.LearnSpanishandIcanputyoutoworkinmyagency.Or
I'll
findyouworkasaguide.Nottoworry.Butschoolwillbeyourmainjob,
comprendel

36

GuillermoLosada?"
"Claroquesi!"
"Excelente!"Shesmiledagain."Ihaveanappointmentthisafternoon.Weshouldreturn."
Andsoitwent.
Alejandra,whowasafraidofspiders(lasaranas),hadmedotheinitialclearingofmynew
room.Onceallthewebbingwasdownandthescreenswerecoveringallthewindows,
she
pitchedinwithhotwaterandlemonscentedcleanser.BytheendoftheweekIhadacot,
a
dresser,andasmalltable(withbookshelvesabove)foradesk.Ametalfolding
chair
completedthesuite.Itwasn'tairconditionedbuttheseabreezesmadeitquitecomfortable.
Ihadverylittletoputinthedresserbutthatchangedovertimeand,really,inthe
warm
climateofLasBahiasdeHuatulco,Ididn'tneedmuch.
Alejandranotonlybeganasshemeanttogoon,callingmeGuillermoandneverreferring
tomebymyrealname,butshealsostoppedtalkingtomeinanythingbutSpanish,
miming
verbs,pointingtoobjectsandnamingthem.Veryrarelyshewouldillustratea
complicated
verbconjugationbycomparingitwithFrenchusage.Shetowedmealongforthe
immersion
classessheranattheresorts,too.
Ittookmethreemonthstolearnenoughespanolthatshebegantalkingtomein
French
andEnglishagain.Threemonthslater,sheconsideredmefluentanditwasanother
three
monthsbeforeIstoppedsoundinglikeaforeigner.Bytheendofmysecondyear,most
locals
thoughtI'dbeenborninOaxaca.IstilllookedEuropeanbutsodomanyMexicans
without
indioancestors.
Iworkedforheragencyhalfdays,forwhichshepaidmeoffthebooks.ThreehoursadayI
workedonschoolwork,inEnglishandFrenchandSpanish.Spanishwordproblemsfor
math.
EuropeanhistoryinFrench.Sciencesinallofthem.AndIsketched,everywhere.
Iwas"thatboywhodraws"toeveryonein5theparkbeforethechurch,atthemarinas,on
thebeach.Mostofitstayedinmysketchbooksbutthewallofmyroomslowly
accumulated
thedrawingsthatworked.
Thenightmareswerebadatfirst,buttheyslowlylessenedinfrequency.Twice,inthatfirst
month,Iwokeup,myheartpounding,staringaroundinthesandywashoftheEmpty
Quarter,
thatspotintheSonoranDesertwhereSamhadfoundme,bloodyandunconscious.
TheSpanishstudyhelped.AtleasttherewassomethingtodowhenIwokeup.I'dfinished
DonQuixoteandwasworkingmywaythroughArturoPerezReverte'sbooksabout
Capitan
DiegoAlatriste.Or,I'ddoaunitofmath.Mathwasalwaysgood.
ButitwasprobablyayearbeforeIsleptallthewaythroughthenight.

37

Inmysecondyearthere,Iboughtaboat,alittlefiberglassdinghywithoars,adaggerboard
well,andasmall,removablemastwithalateensail.WhenIgotit,therewasahole
inthe
bowasbigasmyheadandthesailwasintattersandtherewerenooars,no
rudder,no
daggerboard,andnolifejackets.IspentaweekrunningerrandsattheSantaCruz
Marina,
translating,runningtothestore,andactingasalocalguide.AttheendofthatIhadthe
oars,
twolifejackets,astainedbutintactSunfishsail,andenoughfiberglassandresinto
fixthe
stoveinbow.Imadeadaggerboardandrudderoutofcheaplumber,scavenged
from
constructionsites,andfiberglassedit.
Alejandrahaddoubts."Youcoulddrown!"
Iraisedmyeyebrows."Isuppose,ifIwereknockedcompletelyunconscious,Icould.But
notfromacramporbeingtired,nomatterhowfaroutfromshoreIwas.Thinkaboutit."
After
abitIadded,"MydadandIusedtosail,intheBayofSiam.Itwasabiggerboat."
Sheregistereditinhernamebutitwasreallymine.
ThereareninebaysandthirtysixbeachesintheBahiasdeHuatulco,manyofthem
unreachablebyroad.Iexploredallofthemswimming,fishing,snorkelingaswellas
the
edgesofthejungle.
MorethanonceIgotcaughtinthesurf,whichcanbeveryrough,andIwasrolled,though
luckily,I'dunsteppedthemastandlashedit,andIwasabletorecovertheoarsand
thelife
jacketsandthedaggerboard.Later,Ilearnedhowtotimethings,toridethebreakersinand
to
rowoutwithouttakingontoomuchwater.
Rodrigo,oneofAlejandra'smanycousins,teasedmeaboutthesailandoars.Hewantedme
tobuyanoutboard,butIhatedthestinkandthenoise.Everytimehebroughtitup,Irubbed
my
fingersagainstmythumb."iTutienesdineroparalagasolina?"
Hewasalwaysbrokesohehadnoanswer.He'dreachedthemagicageoffourteen
and
whatlittlemoneyhehadwenttolasninas,thegirls.WhileItookhimoutfishing
and
lobstering,sometimesAlejandraforbademetolendtheboattohim,toimpressthegirls.
"Youmightnotdrown,moncher,andIknowRodrigocanswimlikeafish,buthis
girlfriends?Lethimgethisownboat.Idon'twanthimsailingofftoremotebeaches.He'll
get
themdrowned,orworse!"
Ididn'tquiteseewhatwasworsethanbeingdrowned,butIfiguredoutwhatshe
meant,
eventually.Itseemedodd,sinceshehadboyfriendsandthere'dbeentimeswhenthey'd
spent
thenight.
SheblushedwhenIpointedthisout,butshesaid,"Iamnotfourteenorthirteen.Thatisthe

38

difference."
Rodrigo'sanswertothisprohibitionwastotrytogetmetotakehimandhisfillesdujour
out,butthedingywastoosmall.Iofferedtotakethesegirlsforridessinelwithout
himbut
thisdidn'tgooversowell.
EverythreemonthsIclimbedthehillintothejunglebehindtheMonjarrazcompoundand
jumpedtoSam'splaceinCalifornia.UsuallyIwouldjusttransportConsueloandsome
gifts
back,butonceSamcame,too,andItookhimfishing.
Ihadmyeleventhbirthday,andthenmytwelfth.
PrettymuchIkepttherules.Ididn'tjumpnearAlejandra'shouseoranywherenearpeople.
IfIwantedtopractice,I'dtakemyboatoutatsunriseandsailtotheIslalaMontosa,a
rocky
islandeast,outfromTangolundaBay.Icouldusuallygetinanhourbeforethedive
boats
showedupwiththetourists.
Iwasbeingcareful.
SoIreallyresenteditwhentheystillfoundme.
ChapterFive
GoingtoGround

Ihadtenminutes'warninganenormousamountoftime,really.Didn'tevenhavetojump.
Notimmediately.Iwasatthetranslationagency,SignificadoClaro,answeringphones
forAlejandrawhilesheattendedarealestatepurchaseatthelawyer'sofficedownthe
block.An
Americancouplewerebuyingpropertyfortheirretirement.
Theyhadabitofespaholbutwiselywantedtobeabsolutelyclearoneverythingtheywere
signing.
Ourdentist,theelderlyDr.AndresOrtega,calledandaskedforAlejandra.Iexplainedshe
wasoutandofferedtotakeamessage.Heaskedforme,thatis,GuillermoLosada.
"Esyo,Doctor."
HespokerapidlyinSpanish."Someforeignmenwerejustherewithanagentofthe
AFI.
Theyhaddentalrecords.Yourdentalrecords."TheAFIwastheAgenciaFederal
de
InvestigationtheMexicanequivalentoftheUnitedStates'FBI."TheywereAmerican
records
andtheyhadadifferentnameonthem...Guillermo."Hepaused."Ihadtogivethem
your
address.Theyjustlefthere."
Myheartbeganpoundinglikewavescrashingintotheshoreafterastorm.Kathud.
Kathud.
Traitorteeth.I'dhadtwofillingseightmonthsbefore.Seewhatnotflossingwilldo?
"DotheyhavetheaddressofAlejandra'sagency?"
"Noitwasn'tinyourrecords.Ididn'tshowthemhers."
"Thankyou,Doctor.Thankyouverymuch."
Ihungup.Myimpulsewastojumpaway,toSam's,butDr.Ortega'sofficewasin

39

Santa
Cruz,thenextvillageover.ItwouldtakethematleasttenminutestogetintoLa
Crucecita
andthentheywouldbegoingtothehouse.
SoIjumpedtothehousefirst.IkeptmymoneyinaOaxacanblackpottery
hexagonal
box,theliddecoratedwithcutouttriangles.IthinkIlikedtheboxbetterthanthemoney.
Idroppeditinthemiddleofmybed,onthelightspread.
Thenthecontentsofmydresser,grabbingthedrawers,dumpingthemonthespread,
and
stickingthembackinthedresser.Ittookthreearmloadstostripthebooksoffmytwo
shelves.
Itookthecornersoftheblanketsandpulledthemtogether.Thebundlewasalmostasbig
asmebutitstillcamewithmewhenIjumpedittoSam'sbrokendownstableinCalifornia.
I
jumpedbackandgrabbedthesheetsandtheraincoathangingbehindthedoorand
the
corkboardthatheldafewdrawings,somesnapsofAlejandra,apictureofRodrigowithone
of
hisgirlfriends,andapictureofmesailingmyboat.These,too,wentintoSam'sstable.
ThenI
wasback,pullingthesketchesoffthewalls,tearingoutthecornerswheretheywere
tacked
up.IcarefullyputtheseinSam'sstable,onthepile.
They'dtakenallmypictureslasttime,whentheykilledMumandDad.
WhenIjumpedback,theroomlookedweirduninhabited.IwishedIcouldputdustall
overit,sothey'dthinkitwasabandonedmonthsbefore,butIdidn'tknowhowtomanage
that.
IusedthehousephonetocallAlejandraatthelawyer'soffice.
"Bueno?"shesaidwhentheycalledhertothephone.
"Teamo."I'dneversaiditbefore,butIdid.AsifshewereMom,orasister.
"Guillermo,queestasloco?"
"Noestoyloco.Venironydeboir."
SheswitchedtoEnglish.Shewasn'tunderstandingmebutitwasn'tthewords,itwas
thesituation."Whohascome?Whymustyouoh.Oh,no!"She'dgotit.";Verapido!"
"Don'tgohome.They'llbewatching."Ihungupthephoneandwalkedoutthebackdoor.
FiveminuteslaterIwasonthepatiooftheHotelVillaBlancawhentheypulledup.Ihad
anewspapercoveringmyface,andI'dorderedalimonadatojustifymypresence.The
paper
shookinmyhandsandIhadtobracemyelbowsagainstthetabletostopthemovement.
Theydrovebyintwocars,oneaftertheother,eyeingthehousecasually.Onecar
parked
upthestreet,theotherpulledintothehotel'sdrive,notfortyfeetfromwhereIsat.
ItwasallIcoulddonottojumpaway,butIrealizedtheywerethereforthesamereasonI
wasyoucouldwatchthehousefromhere.TheplateswereOaxacananditwasnota
rental.
Thedriver,amaninarumpledwhitesuit,lookedMexican.Hispassengerwasn't.
I'dlastseenhiminSanDiego,thenighttheflatblewup.
Myhands,forsomebizarrereason,stoppedshaking.

40

Ishiftedmychairslightly,lettingmeseethroughthearchwaytotheregistrationdesk.
I
couldn'thearthembutMartin,thedeskclerk,wasshakinghishead.Themaninthewhite
suit
tookhiswalletoutofhisjacketandflippeditopen,showingtheclerksomething.I
saw
Martin'seyeswidenandthenhepickedupthephoneandspokeintoit.
SenorHeras,themanager,joinedthemfromtheoffice.Afteranothermoment'sdiscussion,
Vidal,thebellman,wassummoned.Theyunloadedthetrunk,onlythreepiecesofluggage,
but
onepiecethemanfromSanDiegograbbedoutofthetrunkasVidalreachedforit.
"I'llgetthat,"hesaid,loudenoughthatIhearditacrossthelobby."Fragile."Hestill
had
thatBristolaccent.Iwantedtojump,away,mostly,butIrememberedthenighttheykilled
the
policeofficerinthestreetbytheflat.They'dseemedtoknowwhenIjumpedwithout
seeing
me.
IwatchedthemtakethestairsupwhileVidalrolledhiscartbacktothefreightlift.When
theywereoutofsightIwanderedbacktothefrontofthehotel.Standingjustinsidethe
door,Icouldseetheothercardownthestreet,parkedontheotherside,wheretheycould
watchthefrontof
Alejandra'shouse.
Vidalcamebackafteraminute."Howdidtheytip?"IaskedhiminSpanish,rubbing
myfingertips.
Hemadeaface."Losmezquinos."Cheapskates."Whatsidearetheyon?"
Hejerkedhisthumbtotheleft,towardAlejandra's."Enlaplantatercera.Alfondo."
Hepointedtowest."l?orquepreguntas?"
"Becausetheyarelookingforme."AsIsaidit,IfeltmyfacetwistandIknewIwasonthe
vergeoftears.Itookadeepbreathandsteadiedmyself."So,youdon'tknowme,
okay?I'mleavingbutwedon'twantthemtohurtAlejandra,right?"
"Claroquesi!"
EveryonewhoknewherthoughthighlyofAlejandra.
"Ioweyou."
Hejerkedhischinupandgrinned."Claroquesi."Attheedgeofthebeachpark,vendors
hadtablessellingOaxacansouvenirstothetouristsblackpottery,Guatemalan
clothes,
paintedwoodencarvingsmadewithtropicalhardwoods.Ifoundasmallhandmirror
setin
paintedcopalwoodfortwentydollarsAmericano.Ipaidforitwithouthaggling.
Vidalunlockedthebackstairsofthehotelforme,toaccesstheroof.Itwasa
popular
placefortheemployeeswhentheresortsoveratTangolundaBaydidfireworks,soI'd
been
therebefore,butIdidn'tjump.
Ididn'twanttojumparoundthemnotuntilIleftforgood.
TheroofwasgravelovertarandItookmytimemovingacross.Ididn'tthinkthey'dbeable
tohearmethroughtheroof,butalltheroomshadbalconiesandiftheywereoutthere,or
had

41

theslidingdooropen,theymight.
AsIapproachedtheconcreteparapetthatedgedtheroofIheardthemtalking.From
thesound,theyweren'tonthebalconybuttheymust'veopenedthedoor.
MyBristolaccentedfriendspoke:"'ewon'tbetheowner'e'sjustakid.Weshouldfind
outwhoownsthehouse,andallof'emthatlivesthere."Hegroaned,surprisingme.
"Yourstomach,still?Ithappenssometimes,toforeigners.Differentbacteria,they
say."
MexicanaccentedEnglish.ProbablythemanfromtheAgenciaFederaldeInvestigation.
"Buggerthebacteria."
"Iwillaskdownstairswhoownsthehouse."
"No!They'reneighbors.Youaskquestions,theymightanswer,buttheyalsomightpickup
thephone,comprende?Theremustberecordsyoucancheckmorediscreetly."
TheagentoftheAFIsaid,"Yes,therearerecords.Overthephoneisnotsogood,
though.
Withmybadgeintheirface,theresultsarebetter.Youwillnotneedmedirectly?"
"No.It'sawaitinggamenow.Callme."Iheardthedooropen,butbeforeitclosedIheard
himadd,"AndpleasegetmesomePeptoBismol."Itwasastrain.Thismanclearly
wasn't
accustomedtosayingplease.
"Ofcourse,SehorKemp.Andsomemorebottledwater?"
"Goodofya."
Thedoorclosed.
"Shite!"IheardhimKemp?groanagainandthenmove.Hisfootstepschanged,echoed.
He'sinthebathroom.
Iheardhisbeltedpantsdroppingtothefloorandtheunmistakablesoundsofgastric
distress.
ImpulsivelyIshovedthemirrorintomybackpocketandswungovertheparapet.Itwasn't
ahardclimbatall.Thedivisionsbetweenthebalconieswerehoneycombedbricks
providing
goodfootandhandholds.Heightsdidn'tbotherme,sinceIcouldalways"jump"to
safety.I
wasonthebalconybeforeheflushedthetoilet.Ikneltinthecornerandsilentlyedged
oneof
thechairsbacktopartiallyhideme.
Therewerefootstepsandhecametotheedgeofthedoorway,binocularsheldtohisface.
Hewasscanningthehouse,Alejandra'shouse,myhouse.
No.Notmyhouse,notmyhome.Notanymore.
MaybeIcouldpushhimoffthebalcony.
Hecheckedthestreet;hecheckedthewindowsofthehouse.Hetooksomethingfromhis
pocketand,stilllookingthroughthebinoculars,hespokeintoit.
"Anything?"
Therewasanansweringvoice,cracklingwithstatic,lowvolume."No.Notsinceearlier,
whenweweredrivingoverherefromthedentist.Feltmaybesevenjumpsinaminute."
"You'vegotbetterrangethanmeIonlyfelttwoofthose,attheedgeoftown.IsentOrtiz
outtofindoutwhoownsthehouse.Keepyoureyesopen,right?Ican'twatch
continuously."
Theresponsewastoolowformetohear,butthissideoftheconversationwasloud
and
clear:"'Causethebloodytoiletisnotlineofsightwiththetarget,okay?"Heputthe

42

radio
backinhispocketand,groaning,turnedbacktothebathroom.
I'dbeenrighttoclimbdown.
Range.Varyingrange.Oneofthemcouldsensemefrom,say,Dr.Ortega'soffice,five
kilometersaway,butKempcouldn't.But,sayhefeltmylasttwojumpsrightbeforeI
called
Alejandra;theycould'vebeeninLaCrucecita,withinoneortwokilometers,butstill
taking
fiveminutestofindtheirway.
He'dcertainlyfeelitifIjumpedwhileonthebalcony.Thentherealizationcame.Range.
Theycouldsensejumpsbuttheycouldn'thavebeenpracticingonmealone.They
had
experiencesensingjumps.Otherjumps.Notmine.
MonDieu,thereareotherjumpers!
Kempgroanedagain,thesoundechoingoffthebathroomtiles.Irememberedthattime
I
wassickshortlyafterarrivinginOaxacaandwishedIcouldjustdieandgetitover
with.I
hopedhesufferedforweeks.
Iusedthemirrorthen,whenitwasclearhewasstillonthetoilet,scootingtotheedgeof
thedoorwayandtiltingit,low,topeerintotheroom.Theirsuitcaseswereinthecloset,
just
stickingout,butthatbriefcasehehadn'tletVidalcarrywasonthebed.Wonder
whatit
contained.
Well,whynotfindout?
Itwasjustastepinside,onthecarpet,silent,butIthinkthelightwasdimmedveryslightly
asIwentthroughthedoor.Evensickashewas,Kempnoticed.Iheardhimscramblefor
his
pantsbutIhadmyhandonthecasebeforeheclearedthebathroomdoor.Hewas
tryingto
pointsomethingatme,somethingbiggerthanagun,bringingitup,butIjumped.
Dad'svoiceDon'tletanyoneevenpointaweaponatyou.
No,Dad.Domybest.
Didn'tgofar.
Couldn't.Iftheyweren'tchasingme,they'dturntheirattentiononAlejandra.SoIwanted
themtochaseme.
Iwenttotheislandinthenextbayover,theIslalaMontosa,arockybitslightlylessthan
threehundredmetersacross,onlyafewhundredmetersofftheeastheadlandof
Tangolunda
Bay.Ithadatinyspitoflandextendingtowardthemainlandthatshelteredabitofbeach
less
thanfiftymeterslong.Therestoftheislandwasbigwavesonrockshorewitharaised
brushy
interior.
Itwasonlyfourkilometersfromthehotel.
Theyshouldhavefeltit.
Felt,butcouldtheytrackit?Didtheyfeelthedirection?
Wouldtheycome?

43

Thebriefcasehadtwothreedigitcombinationlocksandtheywereengaged.Twosetsofa
thousandpossiblecombinations,solvable,Isuppose,withenoughtimeandpatience.Just
start
at000andworkyourwayupto999.
Isatonthelittlebeachandhitthelockswitharock,whichnotonlyopenediteventually,
butgreatlyrelievedthetensionwhileIwaited,especiallywhenIscreamedasIdidit.
EveryfewminutesI'dtakeabreakandjumptothefourquartersofthecompass,theeast,
north,south,andwestshoresoftheisland,toseeiftheywerecomingyet,andwith
the
jumping,letthemknowIwasstillhere.
ThesuitcasepoppedopeneventuallybutitflaredbrightandhotandIhadtothrowitaway
frommyself.IwassurprisedIhadn'tsetitoffearlier,withallthebanging,butit
wasonly
meanttoselfdestruct,notdesignedtokill,clearly,orI'dbedead.
Thecontentswereashandmeltedplasticandblackenedmetal.Therewasacharred
cornerofapassport,butitwasthemostrecognizablethingIfound.Theflarehadbeen
really
brightandtheafterimagefloatedinmyfieldofvision.
Magnesium,maybe.Thathadbeenoneofthemorememorablehomeschoolscience
experimentsthethinribbonofmetalthatwentrightonburningafterMumdroppeditin
the
water.
Theycameintwoboatsonethatwentdirectlytothebeach,avoidingtherocksthatdotted
themouthofthecove,andanotherthattriedtodosomethingontheseawardside.They
could
havelandedaswimmerbutitwould'vemeantwritingofftheboattocomeanycloserto
the
jaggedlava.Thewaveswould'vesmasheditintothecliff.Intheend,thatboat,too,circled
the
islandandputinatthecove.
TherewereonlythreeofthemOrtizfromtheAFI,KempfromBristol,andabeardedman
whotoweredovertheothertwo.Hehadn'tbeenatSanDiego,Iwould'veremembereda
man
thattall.
Thatmeantthey'dleftsomeoneatthehouse.
Maybemorethanone.Don'tassumeyousawthemall.
IthoughtaboutAlejandra,then,andtherestoftheMonjarrazfamily.Iwantedtogocheck,
butnothingwouldleadthebastardstohertothemallfasterthanmejumpingthere.
Phone,Ithought.Later.
Meanwhile,Ihadquestions.
Theyhadfishingpolesandanicechest.Ifeltmyearsgetredandmythroatgottight.
DidtheythinkIwasstupid!
Idon'tknowwhythismademesomad.Hell,itwouldprobablyhavebeenagreatdealof
helpiftheythoughtIwassomedumbkid.
Iwatchedthemfromthehigherpartoftheisland,wherethebrushbegan,justinlandfrom
wherethespitthatformedthecovejoinedthemainpartoftheisland.Iwassittingdown
in
theshade,havingfoundaflatrocktoparkmyarseon.Exceptforthesandybeach,every
place

44

elseI'dsatonthewholeislandseemedtoconsistofpokybitsoflava.
Iwonderediftheyknewthedifferencebetweensomeonejumpingtoaspotversus
jumpingawayorifitwasallthesametothem.It'snotliketheysensedmewhenI
wasn't
jumping,orI'dneverhavebeenabletogetontothatbalcony.
TheyleftOrtizbytheboats,withoneoftherods,andtheyheadeddownthebeach,toward
me.Theyalsobroughtfishingrods,carriedintheirlefthands,buttheirrighthandsstayed
close
tothebagsslungovertheirrightshoulders.Ijumpedtenfeettotheright,myeyes
watching
them.
Bothofthemreacted,lookingrightatwheremyheadnowpokedabovethebrush...but
Ortizhadn'tflinchedabit.Hewasstillpretendingtofishfromthebeach,bytheboats.
Ah.Hedoesn'tfeelit.Theydo.
Iturnedaroundandranbrisklyoff,straightupthemiddleoftheisland.Well,straightasthe
brushandbouldersletme.TheshrubstoreatmyshirtandIendedupwithafewscratches
on
mybareforearmsbutIwasprobablydoingbetterthanthem.Theywerebiggerand
would
havetoforcetheirwaythroughandthey'ddressedliketourists.
Shorts,forGod'ssake.
Iwasoutoflineofsightinthirtyseconds.They'dstillbeenworkingtheirwayuptherising
rockattheendofthebeachnotquiteacliffbutnotsomethingyougoupwithout
grabbinga
handholdhereandthere.IpushedonuntilIwasatthefarend,rightattheedgeofareal
cliff.
TherewasaboulderthatstuckupabitfromalltherestandIclimbedupits
backsideand
peeredover.Ineededthevisualcuesthewaveshittingthecliffbelowdrownedout
any
chanceofhearingthemmovethroughthebrush.
Theycame,Kemprightdownthemiddle,likeI'dcome,buttheotherman,thebig
one,
camealongthecliff'sedge,fromtheright.He'dcomequicklyandIguesstherewasn'tas
much
brushtofightthrough,buthe'dalsocomealongtheedge.
Ijumpedrightthere,rightbesidehim,andheflinchedofftheedge.Ididn'thavetotouch
himbuthealmostsnaggedme,goingovertheedge;hewassomuchtaller,hisclawing
hand
whippingthroughmyhairasIsteppedback.
Hedidn'tlandontherocks,thoughitwasonlyamatterofluck.Awavehitjustbeforehe
did,andhewaskickingandsplashing,headmostlyabovethewater,ashewashed
backout
overthetidepoolsatthebottomofthecliff.
One.
IfI'dhesitated,Ortizwould'vebeenwarned.HisradiowascracklingasIbroughttherock
downfrombehind,andKemp'svoicesaid,"Ortiz,lookout!"asOrtizdroppedtohisknees.
I'm
sureit'sacrimenalfederaltostrikeanagentoftheAFI.Ididn'tsucceedinknocking

45

him
completelyunconsciousbutIhadhisownhandcuffsonhiswristsbeforehewasableto
do
morethanmoan.
Itowedthesecondboatawayfromshorewiththefirst,makingabadjobofitgoing
out
betweentherocks.Myboatclearedbutaswellswungthesecondcraftintothe
rocksand
scrapedpaintandfiberglassdowntheside.
Toobad.Maybethey'lllosetheirdeposit.
Idroppedtheanchorintheleeoftheisland,halfwaybetweenitandtheheadland
opposite.Itwasdeepthere,overfortymeters,butbyusingtheanchorlinefromboth
boats,I
wasabletoreachthebottomwithsomelinetospare.Itwoulddrag,though,iftherewas
any
changeinthewind.
Quelastima.
Evenintheshelteredleeoftheisland,thepitchoftheboat,especiallyjerkeduphardby
theanchorline,wasmakingmeill.Ijumpedtotheoppositeshorewherea
twohundredmeterbeachcalledPlayadeMixtecawastuckedintotheeastsideof
the
headland.ItsnorthendwasborderedbyabeachpavilionbutIwenttotheother
endand
lookedacrossattheisland,onlytwohundredmeters,twosoccerfields,away.Icould
cross
backinstantly,butKempwouldbeawhileifhetriedtoreachme.He'dhavetoswimat
least
asfarastheboats.
IspokeintoOrtiz'sradio.
"Mr.Kemp,"Isaid."Areyouthere?"
"Whoisthis?"Hedidn'tknowmyvoiceandhewasn'tcertain,butheprobablysuspected.
"It'stheorphan."Thatreallysaiditall.Theyprobablyhadmyname.Names.ButI
wasn't
goingtohandthemanything.Ijustneededtoknowwhy."How'sthetummy?Still
gotthe
squirts?"
"Griffin,"hesaid."Youmadeamesso'things."
"OrtizwasconsciouswhenIleft."
"Bito'concussion.Mighthemorrhage."
"Hardluck.Whataboutthebigman?"
"He'spissed."
"Andwet?"
"Oh,aye."Hepaused."Whatyouwant,boy?"
Thereitwas."Iwanttoknowwhy.Whatdidmyparentseverdotoyou?Whydidyoukill
them?Whyareyoutryingtokillme?"
Hepaused,thensaid,"Don'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout."Thecarriercutoffwith
a
hissofstatic.
"Kemp?"

46

Noanswer.Itriedafewmoretimes,thensworeandswitcheddownthroughthechannels.
Kemp'svoice:"tothemap,it'sMixtecabeach,gotit?"
"I'mmoving."
"Good,we'regoingtoquartertheisland.Hemighthaveabase.Orasupplydepot.Hadto
havesomereasonforbeinghere."
Iwantedtotransmit:TolureyougullibleassholesawayfrompeopleIcareabout.Butthat
wouldjusttellthemtogoafterAlejandra.InsteadIpushedthebuttondownandsaid,
"Bestof
luckwiththat,wankers.I'mleavingthistown.
Ieverseeanyofyouagain,I'lldomorethanhityouwitharock."
Itossedtheradiointhewater.
IwantedtocheckonAlejandra,butIjumpedawaytoSam'sranch,satdownbythespring,
andgroundtheheelsofmypalmsintomyeyes.
ConsuelocheckedonAlejandraforme,longdistance.Shewasgoingtocallherdirectly
butIsaidtheymighttracethatcall,soshecheckedthroughoneofherothernieces.
Alejandrahadlockeduptheagencyand,inthedarkofthenight,joinedhercurrent
boyfriendattheSantaCruzmarina.
Asixteenmetersailboat,layingoveronatripfromCaliforniatoFloridaviathe
Panama
Canal,leftthatnight,havingacquiredneededexpertiseinlocalwatersandlanguage.
"Good,"Isaid."Muybien."
Iwasstillfurious.Twohomesgone.Butshewassafefornowandthatliftedserious
weightfrommyshoulders.
"Whatareyougonnado?"Samasked."Seemslikejumpin'isjustgonnabring'emdown
onyou."
"AndifIdon'tjump,theyalsocomeafterme.Theydidn'tfindmebymyjumping.Itwasmy
teeth.Mydentalrecords.Icanjumpallright.Justcan'tbearoundpeoplewhenIdo.That
is,whenIjumptoaplace.Doesn'thurttojumpawayaroundpeople.Don'tcareifthey
know
whereIwas.JustwhereIamwhereIstay,whereIlive."
Samconsideredthisforawhile."Okay.Iknowsomeplacespeopledon'tgo.Places
thataretoorough,toohot,nowater."
Inodded."That'stherightidea.Butnotaplaceyouknow.Betteryoushouldbeabletosay,
Idon'tknowwhereheis.'"Ikickedatthefloor."TheycouldstilltracebacktoConsuelo
from
herfamily.Iftheytriedhardenough.It'stoomanypeopletokeepasecret."
HefrownedatthatandglancedtowardthekitchenwhereConsuelowascookingdinner.
"Fairenough.Thinkonit,though.Thereareplacesyoucangowherenooneelsecan,
right?I
mean,onceyou'vebeenthere?Thinkonthat."
TheINScameforConsuelotwodaysafterIleftOaxaca.
HergreencardwasgoodshewasostensiblyemployedbySamatover125percentof
the
mandatedpovertylinebutsomeonesaidshewasactivelyengagedinsmuggling
illegal
aliensintothecountry.
Iwatchedthisfromtheoldstable,myfistclenchingandunclenching.Ithoughtabout
jumpingintothedustydrivewayandsnatchingherbacktoOaxaca,butthatwas
probablyno

47

safer.Sam,knowingwhereIwas,heldhishandbehindhisbackandshookitsidetoside.
Later,afterthey'dleft,hewanderedbackbythestablebutdidn'tcomein.Hetalkedtothe
air.
"Iknewtheagentinuniformbutthosetwointhesuitsneversawthembefore,andI've
metmostofthelocalboys.Ithinkyoumightwanttotakeahike,afterdark,downthe
springwash.There'sanoldbackpackupinthehayrickI'llleavesomefoodanda
canteenbythespring.Walkalongwaybeforeyoujump,right?"
"WhataboutConsuelo?"
Hespatinthedirt."They'lleitherdeportherornot.Ireallythinkthey'retryingto
flush
you.iSabe?"
"IcouldpullConsueloout."
"Andthenthey'dknow,wouldn'tthey?Weknowsomeprettyhighpoweredimmigration
lawyers.I'llgetthemonit."
"Shit!"
Hespatagain."Yeah.Shitandshinola.Butyou'donlymakeitworse."
Ispenttheafternoonpackingmyclothesandmymoneyandasketchbook.Ihidtherestof
thestuffunderanoldfeedtrough.
Iwalkedthreehours,briskly,headingsouth.I'mprettysureIwasatleastsixmilesaway,
butIkeptwalking,anyway.
WherewasItogo?TheyhadtohavepeopledowninHuatulco.Theymightstill
have
peoplearoundSam'splace.ProbablysomeoneinSanDiego,butIhadlotsofplacesI
could
jumptothere.Theycouldn'tbeeverywhere,couldthey?
Howmanyofthemwerethere,anyway?ImeanttheoneswhocouldactuallysensewhenI
jumped.Ihadnoidea.Asecretorganizationcanonlygetsobigbeforeitstopsbeinga
secret,
right?
Isleptonabitofsandygroundbetweentwosouthfacingboulders.Iusedthebottomof
thebackpack,thepartwithmyclothesinit,asapillow,andtheboulderswerestill
warm
fromtheday'ssun.
Inthemorning,aftereatinganddrinkingandapeeagainstarock,Ifeltbetter.I
walkedanotherthreemilesbeforeIdecidedIwasfarenough.
Ijumpedtotheeast,backtotheEmptyQuarter,aplaceIwasprettysurewasclear.There
wasashelteredcrackuptheridge,notbigenoughforme,butbigenoughtohidethepack
in.
Itwasn'teasytogettowasn'ttoohighbuttherewasnastyjumpingchollaall
aroundit.Icouldjumppastthespinestoaledgebelowthecrack,andshovethepack
inwhereitwasprettymuchinvisible.
IjumpedintoSanDiego,myoldplaceunderthehedgeattheelementaryschool.Ifigured
therewasachancetheyhadsomeonewithinrangewhohadfeltmearrive,butthe
oddsofthembeingrightthereseemedprettyslim.
IfiguredIwassafe,especiallyifIgotoutoftheneighborhoodquickly.Ittookmeahalf
hourtowalkacrossBalboaParkandintodowntown,tothelibrary.
IfoundwhatIwantedinabookonmininghistory.Itwasinthedeserteastofthe

48

San
DiegoMountainstheAnzaBorregoDesertStatePark.Gettingtheretookmetwodays.
IstartedbyjumpingontoaGreyhoundbuswhilethedriverwasstillexaminingthe
boardingpassengers'tickets.Isatintherowbeforethetoilet,hunchedover,making
myself
evenshorterthanInormallywas.Fortunately,thebuswasonlyhalffullandnoone
wantedto
sitneartheloo.
ThebuswaswestboundforTucsonandElPaso,butIleftitattheturnoffforPlasterCity,
justwestofElCentreThebusdidn'tstopthere,butitslowedonaslighthillandIwasgone.
Iconsideredhitchingfromthere,butIwantednotraceofmypresenceinthe
vicinitynobodywhocouldremembermyface.Iworkedmywaytowardthelittletown
after
oncejumpingbacktoSanDiegoforGatorade.Tookmetwohourstowalkthesevenmiles.
PlasterCitygetsitsnamefromtheU.S.Gypsumplantthere.Theymakewallboardandship
iteastandwestonregularrailbuttheinterestingthingwasthetwentysevenmile
long
narrowgagerailroadtheyoperatetoreachtheirquarryintheFishCreekMountains.
AndthatwaswhereIwantedtogo.
IrodeoneoftheemptygypsumhaulersupthelineandusedmyTshirtacrossmyfaceto
keepfrombreathingthedust.Thecrusherwasupatthequarryandeventhoughthey'd
dumped
thehauleratPlasterCity,theswirlingdustwasstillsomethingawfulandIkeptthinking
the
doorsinthebottomofthecarwouldswingopenanddumpmeunderthewheels.
Whenwegotthere,Iwalkedawayfromthequarry,uparavine,thenjumpedbacktoSam's
andhadalongshower,butIwasstillsneezingupdustthatevening.
ThenextmorningIwentbacktoSanDiegoandchangedallmypesostoAmericanatBaja
MexInsurance&CurrencyExchange.NextItookthecrosstownbusouttoaHomeDepot
and
boughtrope,flashlights,batteries,andahardhat.ThenitwasbacktotheFish
Creek
Mountains.
Therewereseveraloldminesfartherupinthemountains,mostofthemwithdangersigns
andblockedoffbyweldedsteelgratesputupbytheparkservice.
Obviouslythegratesgavemenotroublebutmostofthemineswentbackonlyalittlebit,
uselesstome,orhadcavedinafterameretwentyfeet.
Theonethatworkedwasmoreextensive,acopper/goldminelongabandoned,butmuch
moredeveloped.Thatonehadaverticalshaft,thoughtheplatformholdingthe
steampoweredlifthadlongrottedaway.Anoldironladder,though,stillwentdownthe
side,
andonceIjumpedpastthegrill,Ichancedit.ButIwaspreparedtojump,ifitgaveway.
Ahundredfeetbelow,horizontalshaftsfollowedplayedoutveins.Oneofthesehad
brokenthroughintoanaturalcavern,perhapssixtyfeetacross,andairmovedfromthe
cavern
intotheshaft.Atthefarendofthechamber,arivuletofwaterflowedoutoftherock
face,
splasheddownthroughaseriesofsinksizedbasins,andthenflowedoutagainthrougha
crack

49

atthebaseofaflowstonewall.Therewasanaturalpassagethatdeadendedina
smaller
chamberbuttheairflowedoutoffistsizedcracksnearthewaterwall.
Thiswasgood.Thiswoulddo.
Iwasn'toutofmoneyyetIwould'vebeengladtobuythestuffbuttherewasnowaythe
gunshopwouldsellakidsmokelesspowder.Hell,theydidn'tevenwantmeintheshop.
As
soonastheysawme,theyasked,"Where'syourdad,son?Youherewithanadult?"
Ihadachoiceofgettingmadorgettingsad.
"Wrongdoor,"Isaid,andleft.
Igotfurious.
Ithelpedtobemadatthem.MadeiteasiertodowhatIneededtodo.
Theyhadmassivelocksandpulldownbarstoclosetheshopup.Andthisaffected
me
how?Icleanedouttheirsupplyofsmokelesspowder,fiftythreemetalcans.
Dynamite
would'vebeenmoreefficientbutthatrequireddetonatorsandallthat,andIdidn't
know
wheretogetit,muchlesshowtouseit.
Istackedthecansinthehorizontalshaftleadingtothecavern,butattheendnextto
the
oldliftshaft.Iconcentratedonfourofthetimberpillarssupportingroofbeams.Iuseda
can
opener,punchingaholeineachoneofthecans.ThesecondtolastcanIlaidonitsside,
and
theverylastcanIusedinmybestpiratemoviefashion,pouringatrailofpowder
thatran
fromthemouthofthecanonitssidetothirtyfeetdownthetunnel.
Didn'tknowitwouldburnsofast.
Myintentionhadbeentojumptothesurface,tolistentotheexplosion,butI
flinched
awaytotheEmptyQuarterinstead,andmissedit.
TheairwasfullofdustandchemicalsmellwhenIjumpedbackintothecave,worsethan
mytripinthegypsumhauler,soIleftanddidn'treturnuntilthenextday.
Iexaminedthehorizontalshaftfrombothsides.Rubblehaddroppedfromabove,mostly
fillingthebottomoftheliftshaft.Mytunnelwascompletelyfilledandtheothers
mostly
blocked.Fromtheotherside,thetunnelhadcollapsedbacktothenextroofbeam,
about
fifteenfeetoffill.Itwasn'ttotallyblocked,forabreezestilldriftedoutthatdirection,
butit
wascertainlyproofagainstpeoplesneakingupthetunnel.
Thereissomethingverywrongwhenbeinginanundergroundcavernwithnoexitis
the
safestplacetobe.

50

ChapterSix
OldPaths

Itriedoverthecourseofseveraldays,butitdidn'twork.
Finally,IreturnedtotheSanDiegolibraryandfoundtheimageIneededinaUKtourist
guide.TheMartyrs'MemorialinOxfordsitswhereBroadStreetmeetsSt.Giles.
The
guidebookremindedmeofwhatitwasfor,butMumnevertoldmethegruesomedetails.
The
martyrswerethreeChurchofEnglandProtestantsburnedduringthebloodyreignofMary.
Burned...gross.
Howcouldpeopledosomethinglikethat?
Thepicture,though,broughtmebackliterally.Itremindedmeenoughoftheplace.
Horrifyingmemory,actually.OnesecondIwastherewithMum,waitingforDadtosnap
the
picture,thenacarcameoutofBroadStreetwaytoofastandslammedintoataxinotten
feet
away.Horns,glass,screechingrubber,bucklingmetalandfoldingplastic.Noisy.
ScaredmeallthewaybacktoourflatinLechlade.
Instantly.
ButIhadnomemoryofthatflat.You'dthinkIwould,butIcan'tevenrememberwhatmy
roomwaslike.
ItwasraininginOxfordandcold,andthepedestrianswalkedbyhiddenundertheir
umbrellasorhunchedintotheirbrightyellowmacksliketurtles.
Icrossedthestreetandwalked,carriedalonginthestream.Iwasgettingwetandcoldbut
Ididn'tmind.IthadbeenninetytwodegreesFahrenheitatSam'sandIappreciatedthe
chill.
Atleastforawhile.WhenIgottoocoldandtoowet,Ipickedajumpsitenear
Blackwell's
BookstoreonBroadStreet,butwalkedonseveralmoreblocks.
Itwasmynewrule.Don'tarrivefromwhereyouleft.Youdon'tknowwhomightbe
waiting.Iturnedarandomcorner,brickandflatsandaminigrocery,andjumped.
ItwassomethingIlearnedfromrecentexperimentsinshopping.Ifyoujumpasyouturna
corner,andsomebodyseesyou,it'sokay.Iftheywerewatchingfrombehind,they
thinkyou
justcontinuedaroundthecorner.Iftheyseeyoufromtheotherside,theythinkyou
stepped
back.
Peopleflickeroutofoursightallthetime,throughdoors,aroundcorners,onto
subways,
butwefillinwheretheywent.Weknowthatthebodyisstilltherejustoutofsight,on
the
othersideofthedoor,intherecedingsubway,aroundthecorner.
ButKempandhislottheyknewbetter.
HadtowarmupabitatSam's.MynewplaceisdampanddarkabittoomuchlikeOxford
onarainynightbutSam'satsevenhoursdifffromGreenwichwashot,bright,andarid.A
half
hourinthesundriedmerightout.

51

IcalledthecaverntheHole,lesslikeaHobbitholeandmorelikeabadger'sden,where
thedogshadhoundedme,gonetoground.
Itwascomfortable,slightlydamp,slightlycoolthekindofplacewhereyouwanted
slippersandacardiganormaybeafuzzydressinggowntokeepthechilloff.Thechamber
was
litaroundtheedgeswithlowvoltagelandscapinglights.Ihadafewbrighterlights,
also
lowvoltage,nearthebedandthedesk;IonlyturnedtheseonwhenIneededthem,
butthe
landscapinglightsstayedonallthetimetherewerenowindows,nosunlight
touchedthe
Hole.LastthingIwantedtodowasfumblearoundforalightswitchwhenwakinginthe
night.
Suredidn'twanttojumpintothatblackness.
Thewholelotwasrunoffabankofboatingbatteriesthatstoodonashelfdownthe
old
miningshaft.Duringtheday,whensunlighthitthemouthofthemineandwarmed
allthe
surroundingrock,anupdraftpulledairoutthroughtherubbleinthecollapsedtunnel,
causing
apalpablebreezeintheHole.AtthattimeIcouldrunthepetrolfiredgeneratorto
recharge
thebatteries,sincethesmellyexhaustfumesflowedoutthroughthegapsandcracks.
Onlyhadtorunitonceaweekorsoreallyoverdiditonthebatteries.
Inickedthem.
Inickedthegenerator.
Inickedthelights,too.
Hell,Istoleeverythingthesedays.
IhatedtothinkwhatMumwouldsay.
ThegunpowderIusedtoblowtheminetunnelwasthestart,ofcourse.Ijustifieditthey
wouldneverhavesoldittomebutitdidn'ttakelongatalltorunoutofmoney.The
batteries
alonewould'vewipedmysavings.
ThebatteriescamefromamarinesupplyplaceinSanDiego,downwherethejetsheading
intotheairportthunderoverheadanditseemslikeyoucancountrivetswhenyou're
done
ducking.Idon'tknowwhatIlookedlike.Maybeabitdirty,abitfurtive,butoneofthe
floor
clerksfollowedmearoundasIcheckedoffthestuffonmylist.Batteries,DeepDischarge
Gel
Acid,pretinnedbatterycables,athreebankautomaticbatterycharger,andthegenerator.
Theyhaditall,Ihadn'tpulledanythingofftheshelf,butIwascarefulnottolingerinfront
ofanyofthestuffIwaslookingat.Iaskedabunchofquestionsabouttheirself
furling
headsailgearandthenboughtasmallanchorformydingy.
Ihadn'tleftthedingyinOaxaca.IcouldjustpickupthehullifIfirstremovedthemastand
therudderandthedaggerboardandoars.ItsatintheHole,upsidedown,allofits
accessories
stackedneatlyaround,thelifejacketsspreadontop.Myboatinacavewithnoexit,

52

inthe
middleofthedesert.
Theyhadamonitoratthecheckoutcounter,oneofthosethingswithafourway
split,
showingthecounter,thedoor,theemergencyexit,andthecounterwherethe
marine
electronicswere.Theydidn'tseemtobemonitoringthebatteriesoranyoftheotherstuff
on
mylist.
Batteriesareheavy.Itooktwelvethatnightand,sinceI'demptiedit,Itooktheir
sturdy
displayshelf,too,andtherestofthestufffrommylist.
Iworegloves.
ThefurniturecamefromIkea.Thebed,thedesk,thebookshelves.Thatwas
easy.
Assemblingthemwaseasy.Gettingthemlevel?
Stupidcave.
HomeDepot"donated"concreteandalevelandamortarmixingtubandthestuffIneeded
tolevelsectionsofthefloor.Theyhadlotsofcamerasbuttheirownshelvingblockedthem.
If
Icrouchedunderoneoftheirracks,Icouldjumpunobserved,evenduringbusinesshours.
Thebatterieswereheavy,butreadytomixconcreteisheavy,too.Icouldbarely
move
theeightypoundsacksbuttheyjumpedokay,andwhenIwasmixingItorethem
openand
usedanoldcoffeecantoscoopthemixout.
Itwasuglywhenitwasfinished,rough,coarse,butitwaslevel.Myfutonbedsatlevel.The
deskwaslevel.Thethreebookshelveswerelevel.Thediningtablewaslevel,but
looked
weird.ItcouldsitfourbutI'donlytakenonechair.
Imean,afterall,whydidIneedmorethanonechair?
Butitbuggedmeandbuggedmeandfinally,onenight,IjumpedbackintoIkeaand
completedtheset.
Ofcoursethatbuggedme,too,butatleastwhenmyeyespassedoverthetableI
didn't
flinchanymore.ItwastherightnumberifIeverwantedtobringSam,Consuelo,
and
Alejandrathere.
IttookSamfivedaystogetConsuelooutofdetention.Bytheendofit,aborder
patrol
supervisorwasfacinganofficialinvestigation.Hewasunabletoaccountforalarge
deposit
intohisbankaccountaroundthetimehe'dorderedherarrest.
"Oneofhisownmentippedthelawyer,"Samexplained."I'mnotsureifhewas
pissed
becausehisbosstookabribeorbecausehedidn'tsplitit."
WemetattheTexacopetrolstationwherewe'dmettheambulance.I'djumpedin
four
hoursbefore,evenbeforeitopened,andwaitedinthebrush,withabook.

53

ConsuelotoldmetherewasanewbellmanattheHotelVillaBlanca,aforeignermeaning
aMexicanfromthenorth,notanOaxacanwhotookhisbreakswherehecould
watch
Alejandra'shouseandinhisofftimewalkedinthehillsabovethefamilycompound,
with
binoculars.
AlejandrahadfoundanoldschoolmatefromtheInstitutodeIdiomaswhowantedachange
andwaswillingtotakeoverthetranslationagency.AlejandratookajobonSaonaIslandin
the
DominicanRepublic,translatingforEnglishandFrenchspeakingtourists,andstudied
the
localcaribehoespanol,switchingherfsandr'swithabandon.
ConsuelotskedtskedabouttheboyfriendwhoreturnedtoHuatulco"stillfriends."
Too
muchclosenesshadfinishedtherelationshipandIwasgladuntilshetoldmethat
Alejandra
wasseeingsomeoneelse,aDominicanlocal.
C'estlavie.
TheydroppedmeinElCentroanddrovehome.IjumpedbacktotheHolefromthere,a
goodhourafterthey'dleft.
There'safieldinOxfordshirenowhereneartheThamesorthehillsorhistoricruinsbutit
isafewmilesawayfromavillagetrainstationontheReddinglinetwixtOxfordand
London.
There'sabullthere,too,buthe'swithhiscowssohe'sprettycalm,exceptwhenIpop
outof
thinairrightnexttohim.Eventhen,heusuallyjustsnortsandshamblesaway.
Mostlyintherain.
Atleastitseemedthatway.Pickingmywaybetweenthecowpattiesthroughthe
damp
grass,lettingmyselfoutthegate,andthensloggingalongtheasphalttothestationwasa
good
walk,butitwasabitdamp.
Morethanonce,Ishowedupinthepouringrainandjumpedtothestationdirectly.Butit
reallyhadtobeunpleasantformetodothat.
Allittookwasoneofthemtoberidingthroughonthe9:52toPaddingtonStation
and
they'dbewaitingformeinthefieldonefoggyday.
Enoughtogiveonenightmares.
It'snotthatIwouldn'tjumpintoLondonorOxfordproper,occasionally,butifIdid,
I
hurriedawayfromthatspotasquicklyasIcould.
Iwantedtherunoftheplace.
Iwantedtheworld.
PhuketwaseasierthanOxford.Mymemorieswerestronger,thesmells,the
unbelievable
colorsoftheocean,thePortugueseinfluencedarchitecture.Iboughtgarlicsausage,
sticky
ricemixedwithbananaandshreddedcoconutorredbeanswrappedinbananaleaves
from

54

vendorscarryingtheirwaresinrattanbaskets.Orsataysoldfromstainlesssteelcartspulled
by
motorbike.
Iwasrunningoutofmoney.
Icould'veearnedit,Isuppose.Translating,perhaps,inSpainorFrance,butIwasjustakid,
andashortkidatthat.WithoutsomeonelikeAlejandratosteerworkmywaywell,
it
would'vebeenahardscrabble.
Butstillittookmeawhiletogetupthecourage.
Myfirstattemptwould'vebeenamiserablefailureifithadn'tbeenforthefacttheydidn't
evenknowI'dbeenthere.Isawthearmoredcarguards(oneofthemthedriver)
leavethe
lockedvehiclerightoutsidetheSafewayandheadinwiththeircanvasbags.Iwalkedupto
the
otherside,peekedinthethicklyarmoredwindow,walkedbackbetweentwovans,
and
jumped.
Thetruckwasempty.Thiswastheirfirstpickup.
ItookanassembledbicyclefromWalMartthatafternoonandfilledthetires.The
next
day,Ifollowedthearmoredcarasitmeanderedthroughthatneighborhoodgoingto
three
grocerystores,twojewelrystores,andthentheHortonPlazaMall.Ittookthemmultiple
trips
atthemall,backandforth
Imademymovewhentheymadetheirnextstop,servicinganATMataHenry's
Marketplace.
Didn'thavetomovecloseI'dseentheinsideofthetruckthedaybefore.
GoodthingI'dbeenmovingbatteriesandcementbags.Iclearedoutthebackofthetruck
inunderfiveminutes,jumpingbackandforthtotheHole.
Hadtocutthebagsopen.
Threehundredthousanddollars.Giveortaketwentythousand.
Itwasoneofthebigsecuritycompanies.Surelytheyhadinsurance?
Mumwouldnotbehappy.NorDad.
Well,they'renothere,then,arethey?
ThetouristsdrovemeoutofOxfordthemandtheirbuses.Thebusesaretheoddestthing.
Thecompaniesrunthemandthetouristsusethemtogetfromplacetoplace,butit's
more
likeacitybus,runningallthetime,andmostlyempty.
Ihatedieselfumes.
IfoundakaratedojoinKnightsbridgeruninconjunctionwithafancygym.Itwas
expensiveandIhadtofakemydad'ssignatureonarelease,buttheyhadareallynice
locker
roomwithshowers.Ipaidforayear.
ItwasmybirthdaypresenttomyselfIwasthirteen.
I'dhaditwithcoldspongebathsintheHole,butthelocalsolutioncalledformore
construction,maybeapropanewaterheater,andletthesoapywaterflowawaywiththe
clean

55

undertheflowstonewall,butIhatedtheidea.Ipicturedsomedesertspringwhere
the
bighornsheepcametodrink,foamingupwithsoapsuds.ItwasthereasonIuseda
bucket
toiletodorizedwithpinescenteddisinfectantbackinthesmallerchamberand,when
I
neededto,dumpeditatoneofthepark'spicnicareapittoiletslateatnight.
Iwasstillcareful.Icertainlydidn'tjumpanywherenearthedojo.IusedtheUndergrounda
lot,jumpingtolotsofdifferentstations,alwaystryingtopickaplace,beforeIleft,
thatI'd
neverjumpedtobefore.Alsosomeplacethevideocamerasdidn'tcoverwherephone
stalls
orinfosignsmadeablankspot.
Leaving,goingbacktotheHole,Ijustjumpedfromthemovingsubway,whatever
train
came.I'deitherpickamostlyemptycarandjumpwhennoonewaslooking,orI'dmove
to
thenextcar,jumpingwhenIwasbetweenthedoorsinthenoisy,rattlingspace.
Buthavingclassestogotowasgood;itmeantIhadaschedule,astructurethatIdidn'thave
before.
ItmeantIhadtobuyawatch.
Itwasoneofthosetimezoneclocks,showingthetimeintwodifferentplacesatonce.I
keptitonU.S.PacificTime,minusseven,andLondon,Greenwichzero.IfIhita
buttonit
wouldshowmethetimeinPhuketGreenwichplusseven.
Breakfast,cereal,ItendedtoeatintheHole.Gotalittletwelvevoltfridgetoholdthe
milk.Eighto'clockinthemorninganditwastimeforthefouro'clockafternoonteenclass
at
thedojo.Iwasn'ttheyoungestonethere,butIwastheshortest.
ButImadeupforthelackofsize.
"Fierce'un,eh?"That'swhattheseniorinstructor,SenseiPatel,wouldsaytoMartin,
the
juniorinstructorwhohadourlot,afterwatchingmespar.Iwasswathedinpadsand
usually
pickingmyselfup,yetagain,butIwasrightbackinthere,punchingandkicking.
"Notright,thatone,"Martinwouldsay,abigsmileonhisface.HeknewIcouldhear.He
wasjustteasing."Oi!Lessblockingwiththehead,there."
AfterclassI'ddropoffmylaundry(donebythepound),usuallyyesterday'sclothesandthe
day'spracticegiandthelinenseveryweekorso.
Lunchwaswhatever,usuallyinLondon,withoutjumping.Sureitwaseveningthere,butif
youwantaparticulartypeoffoodandyoucan'tfinditinLondon,youaren'ttryingvery
hard.
Well,exceptMexican,perhaps.IatePaki,Indian,Chinese,andtheoccasionalbitoffish
and
chips.
TherewasalibrarybranchnottoofarfromthedojowhereI'ddomyhomeschooling
workbooks.IwasstillworkingthroughtheFrenchscienceseriesandtheSpanishmathso
the
ladieswhoworkedtherekeptcominguptotryouttheir"Bonjour,monami"and

56

"iComo
esta?".TheywereabitdisappointedwhentheyfoundoutIwasn'tsoforeign,butthey
were
alwaysgoodforapointerortwowhenIgotstuckonabitofmathorabitofchemistry.
Referencelibrarians,theyexplained,livedtoanswerquestions.AndIwasanice
change
fromthekidswhowantedthemtotellthem"wherethereportsarekept"orcameto
snogin
thestairwellorscoresomeweedbackbythetoilet.
Dinnermightbeanywhere.MorninginPhuket,somethinginSanDiego.NotLondon,
thoughgettingpastmidnightinLondon.
SometimesI'djustjumpmydingydowntoBahiaChacacual,abaytwentymileswestof
LaCrucecita,andI'dskindiveformysupper,lobsterorfish,cookedonthebeachwith
limes
andpeppers.
ThenhometoHoleandhearthandupagain,pickupmylaundryandrepeatasneeded.
Aftersixmonths,SenseiPatelsaidIcouldcometoeveningadultclasses.Theytested
me
fornikkyu,lowbrownbelt,afterthatandIpassed,barely.
Didn'treallylikeforms,thekata.Didn'tseethepoint,soIdidn'tpracticethemasmuchasI
should.
"Well,then,"saidSenseiPatelwhenIexpressedthisopinion,"you'rearightgit,aren'tcha?"
Hesatmedownonthefloorandsaid,"Watch."
HedidthefirsttwostepsofHeianShodan,alowerblockandasteppingmidlevelpunch.
Hepausedbetweentheblockandthepunch."That'showyoudoit.Now,comehere
and
attackme.Frontkick."
Igotupanddidmybestkick.Heblockedittothesidewiththelowerblockandthe
knucklesofhisfistbrushedmynoseandIfellbackward,overbalanced.Hadn'tevenseen
him
stepinbuthehad.Forthebarestsecond,Iwonderedifhe'djumped.
"HowdoyouthinkIlearnedthat?Madeitmine?Itwasn'tfromsparring.Nowwatch."He
didthewholekata,butthistimetherewasadifferentrhythmandintensitytoit.Block
punch,
blockblockpunch.Hedidn'tevenmovethatfastbuteverythingflowedfromoneto
the
other.
"Youwanttosparbetter,yougetonwithyourkatas,eh?"Hetappedmeontheforehead.
"Usealittleimagination.Youthinkyou'reoutherebyyourselfbutthat'snotwhatit's
about.
Enemiessurroundyou.Startactinglikeit."
Ouch.
EverycoupleofmonthsI'dgiveSamacall,usingapayphone.I'dtalkinSpanishandask
forCarlottaorRosaoranyofabunchofdifferentnames.Ifhesaidtienesel
numero
incorrectoandhungup,we'dmeetthenextdaydowntheroadfromtheTexaco,ona
rise
whereyoucouldseeformiles.Ifhesaid,"Nolaconozco,"I'dhavetopostponehe
couldn't

57

makeitthenextdayorhefeltlikeitwasn'tsafe.
ButthistimeitwasokayandConsueloandhesatontheirfoldingchairsandIperchedon
thetailgateandweateanicecurryandspokeinSpanish.
"Alejandraiscominghome,"Consuelosaid."Shesaidtotellyoushemisses
the
chupulinesPShesmiledbrieflybutshewasclearlyworried.
"IsthebellmanfromtheVillaBlancastillaround?""Oh,yes.Mateobuysdrinksinthebars
formyrelatives.He'sbeenlettingRodrigousehiscarintheafternoontodrive
aroundthe
girls."
"jEstupido!Didnoonetellhim?"IwantedtogoslapRodrigoaround.Thisstung.Ithought
hewasmyfriend.
Samshrugged."Tellhimwhat?AnythingRodrigoknowsMateocanfindoutfromanyone.
SomeonetellsRodrigodon'ttalktoMateoandsuddenlyRodrigodoeshaveasecret.
Leave
wellenoughalone.Itwon'tlast.Rodrigo'smotherisforbiddingithedoesn'thave
his
licenseandshetoldhimshe'llhavecousinPacoarresthimifhedoesn'tlisten."
"Heneverlistens,"Isaid."WhataboutAlejandra?I'mworried."
Consuelosighed."Shemissesherfamily.Andshebrokeupwithherboyfriend,the
Dominican."
"Icould"
"What?"Samsaid."Youcouldshowupandgivethemareasontobotherher?"
Idroppedoffthetailgateandkickedarock.Itflewovertheedgeofthehilltop,
then
crashedthroughthemesquiteandcholla.MybigtoethrobbedandItriednotto
limpasI
steppedbacktothetailgate.
"Right.Whataboutyouguys?Youthinkthisissafe?"Iwavedmyhandaroundattheempty
hillside.Thehighwaywassevenmilessouthofusandthedirtroadrunningouttothe
hilltop
wasclearlyvisibleandempty,athinstraightlinethatdidn'tbenduntilithitthebottomof
the
ridge.
Samshrugged."Assafeasitgetswithoutnocontact."
Consueloshookherfingeratme."Youarenotajaguartolivealoneandsolitary.It
is
unhealthy."Shereachedoutandpluckedataholeinmyjeans."Morelikeacoyote.But
even
coyoteskeeptogether,eh?"
"Okay.I'llgohowlatthemoon.Maybegothroughthetrashcans."
SamtappedhisplasticforkagainsttheStyrofoamcontainer."Thisdidn'tcomefrom
any
trashcan.Wherediditcomefrom?"
"Huh?Oh,CafeNazintheEastEnd."AthisblanklookIadded,"London."
"Ah."Hemouthworkedforamomentbutnothingcameout.Finallyhesaid,"Notbad.Not
badatall."Hepokedafingertowardmyuppertorso."Youlookhealthy.Whatchadoing
for
exercise?"

58

"Karate.Adojoinwell,maybeIshouldn'tsaywhere."
"Right.Notifyougothereregular.Andincome?Yougotenoughmoney?"
Ilookedaway."Noworries.Don'thavetoworryabouttherent.I'msayingmyprayersand
washingbehindmyearsandbrushingmyteeth,Papa."Teeth.Ididn'twantanymore
Xrays
comparedifIcouldhelpit."I'mevendoingmylessons.I'muptoSecondForm,uh,
tenth
gradeinthescienceandI'mstartingprecalculus."
"Whatisthat,fourgradelevelsahead?"
Ishrugged."Whatever."Itriedtobeindifferentbutitwasnicetohavesomeonemakea
fuss.Quitenice.
Itmademeafraidforthem.
Iwaitedthirtyminutesaftertheyleft,watchingthedusttrailofthepickupallthewayto
thehighwaybeforeIjumpedawaytotheHole.
JumpedtoEmbankmentStationatthecurvyundergroundpart,nottheaboveground
platform,inanook,behindacrowdoftourists,andsomeonestartedscreaming.
Someonewasshouting,"MOVE!MOVEYOURBLOODYASS!"Thetwowomentourists
infrontofmewereholdingtheirhandsabovetheirhead,camerasdangling,andoneof
them
wasscreaming.OvertheirshoulderIsawsomeonerunninguptheplatformholdinga
big,
oddlyshapedgunoneI'dseenbefore.
Hefiredandsomethingsmackedintothewallonbothsidesofmynookandsuddenlythe
twowomentouristswerethrownintome.Iheardthebreathleavetheirlungsand
they
stoppedscreaming,buttheywerespasmingandIsmelledozone.Iwasn'tpinned
thoughthe
womenwerejammedacrosstheopeningofthenooktherewasstillroombehindme
andI
jumped.
"Wait!"Iyelled.Idon'tknowwhyortowhom,butthesoundechoedinthewashofthe
EmptyQuarter.IjumpedimmediatelytoCharingCrossplatformandsteppedonto
the
northerntrainheadingbacktowardtheThamesandEmbankmentStation.
Nobodyscreamedandnobodyshotatmebutmyeyeswerewideopen.
Ittookmaybethreeminutesforthetraintoreachtheotherstation,buthewasgone.
There
weretransportpoliceontheplatform.They'dgottenthewomenoutofthenookand
seated
onabench.Thecablewasstillthere,tautbetweentwoareasofbrokenbluetile,soI
guess
theywiggledbackintothenookandduckedunderit.Ididn'tgetoffthetrainandasitleft,
we
passedmoretransportpoliceinthetunnelitself,flashlightswavingastheysearched.
IgotoffatWaterlooandtooktheJubileelinebacktoGreenPark,thentookthePiccadilly
lineovertoKnightsbridge.Iwasn'tevenlateforclass,thoughitseemedasifIshouldbe.
Thenextonewascloser.
ElephantandCastleTubestopandhewasmorecarefulthanthelastguy.Hefollowedme
anddidn'tattackuntilwewereinthetwistystairuptostreetlevel.Hewasfiringupthe

59

stairs
andIheardsomethingmechanicalclickrightbeforeheshot,soIwasbending
forwardand
lookingback.ThecabletoreoverheadandtangledinthehandrailabovemeandIwas
standing
indesertsandbeforethenextonearrived.
Right,then.
Thefirstonewasclearlynotjustcoincidence.TheywerewatchingtheTubestations.
IjumpedbackintoLondon,ontheothersideoftheThames,toSouthKensingtonStation.
ItwasonlyonestopawayfromKnightsbridgebutIdidn'tgetonthetrain.Iwandered
between
platformstherearethreedifferentlinesatthatstationkeepingmyeyeoneveryone
else.It
wasbusybutwhenIstayedonthePiccadillyplatformthroughthreedifferenttrainarrivals,
the
faceshadallrecycled.
ItookthestairsuptotheeastboundplatformthentookthepassageunderCromwellRoad
overtotheNaturalHistoryMuseum.Ispentanhourthere,wanderingbackandforth
between
thewhalesandthedinosaurs,checkingeverybodywhocamenear.Allrandomfaces.
Finally,I
walkedupBromptonAvenuetoKnightsbridge,pickedupmylaundryandabiteoffalafel,
and
hoppedacrosscitywestboundbus.
Thefalafelwasfresh,warm,crisp,anditsatinmystomachlikeadeadweight.Howmany
ofthemwerethere?Howmanystationscouldtheywatch?Weretheygoingtoforceme
out
ofLondonlikethey'dforcedmeoutofSanDiegoandHuatulco?
Whatthehelldotheywant?
SomewherepastEalingCommon,whenthebuswasmostlyempty,Ijumpedbackto
my
Hole.
Igotmyhairbleached.Boughtareversiblejacketandthreehats.Boughtsomedark
framed
glasseswithclearglass.Stillusedthesubway,butIwasvery,verycareful.Neverjumped
toa
station.Neverleftfromastation.Triedtochooseanewarrivalpointeverysingle
day,but
nevernearmydeparturepointforthatday.
Idefinitelystoppedjumpingintothecinemaswithoutpaying.
Ipassedmyikkyu,upperbrownbelt,test.SenseiPatelsaidmykatadidn'tsucknearly
so
badnow.I'dactuallytaggedSenseiMartinintheribswithafrontkickduringthesparring
test.
AndImadeafriend.

60

ChapterSeven
PunchesandPimples

HenryLangsfordwasanupperclasstwitwithasenseofhumor.We'dtestedfor
ikkyutogetherandhealwaysgavemeahardtimeabouttheAmericanismsinmy
languageandmyaccent.HisfatherwasasecondsecretaryattheBritishembassyin
AmmansoHenrywasata
boardingschoolinLondon."Butalltheyhaveatschoolisboxing.Idothat,too,but
I'vereceiveddispensationforthis."
Hewaslongandthin,pushingsixtwo,eventhoughhewasmyage.Hecouldreach
me
withakicklongbeforeIcouldstrikehim,butIwasfaster.Buttheboxingwas
something.I
triedtostayawayfromhishands.I'dgooutsideforakidneyorsweephisfoot,midkick.
Henrysuggestedacuppa."Won'tbeintroubleuntilhalfpastnineand'tisonlysevenstops
upthePiccadillyline.Youforit?"
Ihadadozenexcusesonmytongue.InsteadIsaid,"Whynot?"
WehitExpressoBaronthenorthsideofBeauchampPlace.Hegottea,Itooka
doubleshotlatteloadedwithsugar.
"Nowonderyou'resoshort.Stuntedyourgrowth,youdid,withthatcaffeine.Howdoyou
sleep?"
Itwasactuallymiddaystill,forme,butIsaid,"Maybethat'swhyI'mfasterthanyou."
WewalkedbacktoBromptonRoadandintoHydeParkandwanderedabit,tendingeast.
Wetalkedabouttravel,placeswe'dlived.We'dbothbeentoThailand,bothbeentoSpain,
buthiminthesouth,CadizandSeville,andmeinthenorth,BarcelonaandZaragoza.I
talked
aboutthe"colonies"andMexico.HetalkedaboutKenyaandNorwayandfamilyvacations
in
Normandy.ThatledtospeakinginFrenchandhewasohsosuperiorabouthis
accentmy
CountyDurhamoriginscorruptedthepurityofmypronunciation,butmyvocabulary
was
bigger.
"Etoilestvotremaison,monpetitami?"
"Little?I'mnotduckingthroughdoorways.AndIlivesinan'oleintheground."
"What?LikeaHobbit?"
"Verylikean'obbit."
"Abasementflat?"
"Youcouldsaythat.Onthewestside."OfAmerica.
Heconsideredthis."Yourfeetareabithairy."
"So,yourhomewouldbeinRivendell,eh?"
"Huh?Oh,right.Elves."Hechuckledandlookedathiswatch."Oi.BuggermeI'mgoingto
betalkingtotheHeadifIdon'tgetamoveon."
WewereclosetoHydeParkCornerStationandhedashedforit,hislonglegs
flashing.
"Kickyouinclass,"hecalledoverhisshoulder.
"Inyourdreams!"
Acuppaafterbecamearegularthing,andwhenIturnedsixteenthedojowentupto

61

Birminghamtoparticipateinatournament.HenryandIroomedtogether,under
the
supervisionofSenseiPatel.
"Younevertalkaboutyourfolks,"Henryasked,onthetrainup.
Itcameoutofleftfield,that,andsurprisedme.Iblinked."Bugger,somethinginme
eye."
AfteradeepbreathIsaid,"Whatchawanttoknow?Dadteachescomputers.Mumteaches
kids
theirVoltaireandBeaumarchaisandDiderot,intheoriginal.Awfullyboringifyouaskme,
but
they'reallright."Iwastired;IwokeandsleptonPacificCoasttimeandhereIwas
flounderingaroundat9.00a.m.,Greenwichzero.Itfeltliketwointhebloodymorning.
"Seemslikethey'reprettyhandywiththeready,"Henrysaid."Dad'salwaysonabout
the
feesatthedojo,butinthatproudsortofway.Nothingbutthebestformine,don'tcha
know.
Youdon'tseemtohaveanyproblem."
Ishookmyhead."Well,that'snottheirmoneythat'smeown."
"Richgrandmother?"
"Distantuncle."UncleTruck.ArmoredT.Truck.
Iwaseliminatedinthesecondroundofbrownbeltkumitebyacollegeagedbrownbelt
fromCoventry,andthenSenseiPatelandanotherinstructorprotested.
"What?"Isaid,asSenseiwalkedpastmetothejudges'table."Hebeatmefairandsquare!"
He'dscoredtomyfacewithalightningfastroundhousekick.
ThejudgeslistenedtoSenseiPatel,thencalledmyopponentover.Thereweresome
heatedwordsandthentherefereecamebackonthefloorandannouncedI'dwon,by
forfeit.
Myopponentgavemeamurderouslookandleft.
SenseiPatelexplained."SawMr.Wickes,there,takehisshodantestfiveyearsago.
I've
seenitbeforeinthesebigregionaltourneys.Peopledroppingabeltlevelsotheyhavea
better
chanceofplacing.LikeathirdyearcollegestudentretakinghisAlevels.What'sthepoint?"
Huh.
ImadeitthroughtwomoreroundsandthenwaseliminatedbyakidfromPaddingtonwho
didn'tevenblockmyattacks.He'djuststrikeatthesametime,leaningthiswayorthatto
avoid
myhandorfoot.Threequickpointsandout.
"Couldlearnalotfromthat'un,"Henrysaid.Henryhadn'tmadeitpastthefirstround.
WewatchedthePaddingtonkaratekagoontotakefirst,soIcouldn'tfeeltooinferior.
SenseiPatelrequiredallofustoparticipateinthekatacompetitionandIwassurprisedto
takesecondinthebrownbeltcategory."See?"Senseisaid."Lookwhathappensifyou
apply
yourselfabit."Heruffledmyhead.Thetrophywashalfastallasme.Itwouldbeabearon
the
train.
"Amonument.That'swhatitis,"saidHenry."Amonumenttoyourgreatness."
"Toperseverance,"Senseisuggested.
After,Senseicheckedinwithusbeforehewentouttoeatwithsomeofthejudgesandhis

62

sensei,overfromOkinawa."Youlotallrightbyyourselves?"
"Ofcourse,Sensei."
"Seeyouafteratthehotel,then.Nolaterthanten,right?There'sadance,ifyouwant,
or
there'sthecinemaoveronBroadStreet,right?"
"Right,Sensei."
Wechanged,droppedourgisandthe"monument"inthehotel.Henrywasnowcallingita
"monumenttoyourperverseness."Wefoundapubwherethefoodwouldn'tbe"too
healthy."
Henry'schoice."S'allwegetindininghall.Veggies,veggies,veggies.Withasalad."
Fishandchipsweredulyorderedanddestroyed.
"Butthisgreasyfoodisgoingtohavemealloutinspots,youknow,"Henry
complained
after,notacrumbleftonhisplate.
"Andthatwouldchangethingsexactlyhow?"Iwashavingabitoftroublewith
pimples
myselfbutHenry'swasaspectacularcase,apatchworkoftroublespotsthathecalledhis
map
ofAfrica."Anyway,"Isaid,"ifyou'restillgettingpimpleswithalltheveggiesthey're
shoveling
downyouinhall,thenIdon'tseehowafewchipsaregoingtomakeitworse."
Henryswipedmylastchip."Lookwho'sdrowninghistroubles,"hesaid,jerkinghis
head
towardtheadjoiningbar.
ItwasWickes,thedisqualifiedblackbeltfromCoventry.Hewassittinginaboothwitha
halffullpintandtwoemptymugs.Heglancedupandoureyesmet.Idroppedmyeyes
and
turnedbacktoHenry."Oi.GuessMr.Wickesispasteighteen,then."
"Whydothat?Lieaboutyourrank.What'shegetoutofit?"
Ishrugged."Maybehehasatrophyshelftoimpressthegels."Iglancedsideways
briefly,
justaflickoftheeyes."He'sstilllookingatus."
"Umm.Well,it'sgoingtobesometimebeforeI'mreadyforpudding.Let'ssee
what's
goingatthecinema."
"Suits."
We'dalreadypaidbutHenryputdownatipforthebarmaid,saying,"Buyyourselfone."She
laughedathimandIwasteasingHenryaboutitaswecutacrosstheparktowardBroad
Street.
Wickeswastherebeforeus."Thinkitwasfunny,doyou?"
Istoppeddead.Thegreenwasbrightenough,fromallthelightsatthearcade,but
there
wasn'tanyonenearus."Iwasn'tlaughingatyou,mate."
"I'mnotyourmate."
"Right,"saidHenry."Notourmate.Don'tevenknoweachother."Henrytuggedmyarmand
pulledmeaway."Let'sgothisway,whydon'twe?"HeturnedawayandIwentwithhim,
my
backtingling,butitwasHenryhekickedfirstandIswearIheardsomethingbreak.
IwantedtocheckHenrybutWickeswasturningtowardmeandIalreadyknewhowfast

63

thebuggerwas.Iblockedandblockedbuthiskickswereverystrongandtheyhurtmyarms
or
crashedthrough,anyway,onlypartiallyabsorbedbymyblocks.Itaggedhimonce,good,
witha
frontthrustkickthatpushedhimbackclutchinghisside.
"Well,that'sbetterthanyoudidinthematch,"hesaid.Hisgringotnasty."GuessI
won't
hold"
Isteppedbackintozenkutsudachiandexecutedagedanbarai,alowblock.
Helaughedatme.Iwasstilltenfeetaway,buthebegantolifthishandsasI
stepped
forwardandpunched,facehigh.
Ijumpedtheintervalandmyfistsmashedintohismouth.
Heflewbackanddidn'tgetup.
Henrywassittingupclutchinghisside,hiseyeswide.IcheckedWickeshehadapulse,he
wasbreathing,hewasbleedingfromthemouth,andhiseyeswereblinking.Ipinchedhis
thigh,
hard,andheyelped."Feelthat,doyou?That'sgoodenoughforme."IwentbacktoHenry
and
helpedhimup."Youokay,mate?"
"No.Ithinkhebrokearib.AndmaybeI'mconcussed."
Ilookedathim."Whydoyouthinkthat?"
"Iblackedoutthereforamoment,whenyouhithim.Ithink.Sawitstart,sawitfinish"
"What'smyname?What'sthedate?Who'stheprimeminister?"
"Griff.It'sSaturdaytheeighteenth.TonySoddingBlair."
"Well,maybeyoublinked.ShouldwefindabobbyforMr.Wickes?"
HenrysurveyedthespreadingbloodonWickes'schin."No.Ithinkhe'sgothis."
IsupportedhimbacktothehotelandfoundDr.Kolnick.Thedoctorwasoneofthesenior
membersofthedojo,athirddegreeblackbelt.Ithinkhisspecialtywascardiology,but
he'd
spentsomuchtimeinthemartialartsthathewasgoodfortheoddsprainandcontusion.
Dr.KolnickcluckedhistongueandtookHenryofftoCityHospitalandhadhimXrayed,
"tomakesurewedon'thaveabrokenribabouttopokeyouinthelung."Whenthe
diagnosis
turnedouttobeahairlinecrack,hetapedHenryupgood.Healsodisinfectedmyhand.Ihad
a
gashbelowtheknucklesIhadn'tevennoticed.
"Teeth,probably,"thedoctorsaid.
Teeth.
Wecaughtourtrainbackinthemorning.HenrywasstiffandIwassympatheticandtired
andpissedoff."Idon'tthinkweshould'veturnedourbackstohim."
"Sodoff,"saidHenry.
Itfeltweird,thattrip.Exceptforthepunch(andwhatapunchitwas!)Ididn'tjumponce.
IarrivedinBirminghambytrain,walkedaround,andtookthetrainbacktoLondon.
Itfelt...weird.Itfelt...normal.
MaybenormalwaswhatIneeded.MaybeIjustneededtobeinoneplace,whereI
only
movedaroundlikeotherpeople.Hmph.Icouldjustseetryingtorentaplace.Howold
are

64

you,kid?Where'syourparents?Tellmeanother.
TherewasafussfromHenry'sparentsaboutthecrackedribbuttheyandHenry's
headmasterendedupwiththeimpressionithadhappenedatthetournamentitself
and,as
Henrysaid,"Betterallaround,that."
SenseiPatelwantedtotalktomyparentsaboutthefight,ashe'dgottenspecificsfromus.I
endedupbringinginanote,ostensiblyfrommydad,that"Griffdiscussedthewholething
with
usandIappreciatetheexampleyou'resettingforhim.Iamconcernedabouttheincident,
but
believeitfarlessseriousthanwhatfootballhooligansaredoingnowadays.AndGriff
has
learnedsomethingfromit."
ItypeditonarentacomputeratKinko'sinSanDiegoandsigneditlefthanded,likethe
previousforms.
SenseiPatelsaid,"What'dyoulearn?"
"Don'tturnmyback."
"Kids!"Buthedidn'tcorrectme.Hedidwonderaloudwhymydadnevercametoclasses
ortowatchanyofthetestsliketheotherparents.
"He'sbusy.Reallybusy."
InDecember,Henrywentaway,offtoAmmanfortheholidays,andthedojoclosed
the
weekbetween.ItwascoldthatyearinLondon,Imeanactualsnowandstuff,soIwent
south,
totheremoteBahfaChacacual.ItookConsueloandSamwithme,andwiththedinghy
sailed
themwest,awayfromLaCrucecita,tothefishingvillageofSt.Augustin.Itwasstillonly
nine
milesfromthefamilycompoundasthecrowflies,butthirtymilesbyroad.There
wasacolectivothatraninlandtotheBahiasdeHuatulcoInternationalAirportandfrom
theretheycouldtakethebusintotown.
Iwassupposedtocallfortheminaweek,thesameplace,weatherpermitting.Thatwas
theplan.
Iputbackouttoseaandsailedeast,huggingthecoast,pastChacacual,pastthelittlefishing
villageatBahfaMaguey,andafterstudyingtheshorelinecarefullywithmymarine
binoculars,
onintoSantaCruzBaywiththesunset.Thereweredozensofdinghies,rigidand
inflatable,tiedupatthepublicpier.Isteppedmymastbeforethreadingmywaythrough
themandtying
upbeneaththepier,wherethepostsweren'tbumpered,buthandytoladder.Itiedupand
tookthebinocularswithme.
IwantedtoseeAlejandra.
IttookmeanhourtowalkbackintothehillsaboveLaCrucecitaproper.Icould'vedone
itinthirtyminutesifIhadn'tbeenavoidingpeopleandcars,buttoomanyhereknewmy
face.
I'dchangedabit.ItwasalmostthreeyearssinceI'dleftandIwastaller.Iworeabaseball
hatandalightjacketwiththecollarpulledup.Itwaswindyandcoolenoughtojustify
the
jacket.Theoffshorewindhadbeengoodforsailingflatwater,stiffbreezebutnowit

65

shook
thetreesandmadeiteasytoimagineeverysoundanenemy.
Thecompoundwaslitupforafiesta,afireattheopenendofthecourtyardand
lights
strungacross.Icouldhearmusicandthefoodsmelledfantastic.
Mystomachrumbled.I'deveneatchapulinesaboutnow.
Imovedcloser,workingdownthroughthebrush;then,whenthebuildingblockedtheway,
Imovedupintoanoldahuehuetetree,usingitsthicktrunktoshieldmybody,untilI
hada
goodviewofthecourtyardwiththebinocs.
TherewasConsueloandSamandhermother,SefioraMonjarrazyRomera,andAlejandra's
mother,SefioraMonjarrazyLosada.ThenIsawRodrigoandagirlIrememberedhim
chasing
afewsummersbefore,andthenAlejandracameoutofthehousewithatrayoffood,with
her
cousinMariannacarryinganother.
Istoppedbreathingforamoment.Alejandrawasasbeautifulasever.
Andshewasokay.
I'dhadreports,throughConsuelo,butsomethinginsideofmemust'vestilldoubted,for
I
nearlychokedonasob.Iblinkedhardforaminute,thenIcouldseeproperlyagain.
Morecarsandpeoplemadetheirwayupthewindingdirtroadandthepartyexpandedas
theextendedfamilyandfriendskeptarriving.MostIrecognized,thoughIwould've
been
hardpressedtocomeupwithnames,buttherewasamanwhoarrivedwithtakeout
from
SabordeHuatulcoIrecognizedthebagevenifIdidn'tknowhim.
RodrigogreetedhimlikesomelonglostrelativeandIthoughtperhapsthat'swhathewas,
butthenRodrigotookhimoverandintroducedhimtoSamandConsuelo.IsawSam's
eyes
narroweventhoughhesmiledandshookhands,andwhileConsuelolookedpolite,I'd
seen
hergreettotalstrangerswithmorewarmth.
I'dlayoddsthiswasthenewbellmanfromtheHotelVillaBlancatheonewho'dwatched
Alejandra'shousewhileshewasaway.
Iwantedtopunchhim,likeIpunchedWickesinBirmingham.OrjumphimtotheIslala
Montosa.OrthatfieldwiththebullinOxfordshire.
Fatlotofgoodthatwoulddo.
EvenifIkilledhimitwouldjustdrawthemhereinforce,maybesnatchingAlejandraor
SamorConsuelo.Orallofthem.
ApieceofbarkcameoffthebranchwhereI'dbeengrippingitandInearlyfelloutofthe
tree,nearlydroppedthebinocs.
IwalkedbackintoSantaCruzandriskedbuyingamealatoneofthetouristplaces,only
speakingEnglish.BythetimeIwasfinished,athreequartermoonwasrising,giving
me
enoughlighttosailbacktoBahiaChacacual,thoughitwasaftermidnightbythetime
IgotthereandjumpedthedinghybacktotheHole.
Theyweren'tbackinSt.AugustinthenextweeksoIfoundapublicphoneandcalledthe
familycompound,asarranged,andaskedforSenoraConsuelo.Shewasawhilecoming

66

andI
feltlikesomethingterriblemust'vehappenedbutthenshewasthere."Bueno?"
"Hola,Tia.iQuierestomarelsolenlaplayamahana?"
Ididn'tknowiftheywerelistening.Consuelohadseveralnephewssocallingheraunt
mightthrowthemoff.Itwouldatleastleaveitindoubt.Andshelikedtosunbathe
onthe
beach,oratleastwalkupanddowntheshorewiththewaterwashingoverherankles.
"Nopuedoir.Volamosacasamahana."So,theywerebeingwatched.Thebastards
might
havecheckedtheflightmanifestsintoHuatulcoandnotfoundSamandConsuelo.
Anyway,theyweregoingtoflyhomeandnotriskmeetingupwithmeagain.Notin
Oaxaca.
"Quelastima.VayaconDios."
"Debestenercuidado."
"Ustedtambien."
Yeah,we'dallhavetobecareful.
Henrycamebackfromtheholsandbroughtmealittlewoodenhorse,rearing,sixinches
high."MerryChristmasandallthat.It'solivewood.Didn'treallyknowwhatyou'dwant."
IwastouchedbutofcourseIcouldn'tshowit."Thanks.Didn'thaveto.I'vegotsomething
foryou,butit'sbackinmeHole.BringittoclassThursday."Iwenttoclassmostdays,but
for
HenryitwasTuesday,Thursday,andoddSaturdays.
Ididn'treallyhavesomethingforhim.I'dboughtsomethingforSamandConsuelo,andfor
Alejandra(mailedbyConsuelo),buttheseasondepressedmeandI'davoidedthe
shopping
crowds,thedecorations,andthesongs.
InThailand,mostly.
InPhuketIwasdoingthesamethingIdidinHuatulcoI'dpickedaremotejumpsite,in
thiscasealittleislandcalledKoBonoffRawai.AresortonPhuketproperconsideredit
their
"private"islandbutI'darriveonthesouthend,awayfromtheirsalasandloungers
andthe
honeymoonsuite(thoughIwatchedsomeskinnydippingonce)andputmydinghyin
the
waterandsailahalfhourovertoChalong,avoidingtheresorts.
IbroughtHenryaThaiBuddhaheadcarvedfromraintreewood,goldleafonthe
headdressthingy,pendulousearlobesandslittedeyesoverasmilingmouth.Itwasthe
smile
thatmademebuyit.Unliketheothers,itwaspracticallyjolly.
Heblinkedwhenheopenedit."Verycool.How'dyouknow?"
"Knowwhat?"
"I'vegotashrineinmyroom.I'mnotreallyBuddhist,butit'showIgetoutof
Sunday
chapel."
"Youbleedinghypocrite!"Ilaughed.
Heshruggedandsmiled."Yeah,well,youhaven'thadtolistentothosebloodysermons
on
thosebloodybenches,haveyou?I'mallbony."
Ishookmyhead.Wewerehavingourregularcuppaafterbutinsteadofwalking,wewere

67

stickingtoacornertableattheExpressoBar.Itwassleetingoutside.
HeopenedhisbackpacktowedgetheBuddhadowninsidewithhisgi.Hepulledout
a
booktomakeroomandIflippedthroughit."Ugh.Exponentsandpolynomials.That
wasan
uglytwoweeks.Nearlyatemehead."
"Was?Areyoupastthis?I'minadvancedmath,myform!"
"Uh.Didthatlastyear.I'mhomeschooled,youknow?Workatmeownpace.Dookaywith
themath."Ireacheduptotouchhishair,afootaboveme."Overyourhead?"
"Oh,veryfunny."Helickedhislips."Giveaguyahand,couldyou?Iwassupposedtowork
onitovertheholsandIspentallmysparetime,uh..."Heblushed.
Isatup."Oh,thishasgottobegood.Let'sguessthere'sagirlinvolved."
Hepunchedmyarm."Well,itwasn'taboy,that'sforsure."
"Jordanian?"
"Nah.TriciaPetersonknownherforyears.Hermotheristheprotocolofficeratthe
embassy,longtimefriendofmyparents."
"Soyoudidn'tdothemathbecauseyouweresnogginginthebushes."
Heblushedredder."Goingaroundtoseethesights.Shedoesn'tlivethere,either.
Visiting
forthehols.HerschoolisoutinthewildsofOxfordshire.Girls'hell,shesays."
Inodded.Hehadagirlfriend.IwasthinkingaboutAlejandraandIcouldsympathizeand
evenbealittlejealous.
"Showmewhatyou'rehavingtroublewith.AndIdon'tmeanthesnoggingbit."
WedidsimplificationoffractionswithexponentsuntilhehadtorunfortheTube."Don't
slip,"Isaid."It'slikeglassoutthere."
"Thanksforthehelp.MaybeyoucouldhelpmeagainSaturday?Icouldaskforextraleave.
Wecoulddoitatyourplace."
"That'sathought,"Isaid,stalling."Takeusforevertogetoutthere,though.Canyou
have
guestsinatyourschool?Neverseenaboardingschoolnotoutsideamovie."
HelookedatmelikeIwascrazy."Well,ifthat'syourideaoffun.Sure.We'llgo
back
there."
"Right."
ItookawestboundtrainandtransferredtoasouthboundatEarl'sCourt.Somewhere
betweenSouthfieldandWimbledonParkIjumpedawaytotheHole.
Itsnowedagain,Fridaynight,veryoddforLondon.WalkingtotheTubestationafterclass,
Henrysaid,"'Whenmenwereallasleepthesnowcameflying,inlargewhiteflakesfalling
on
thecitybrown.'"
Ilookedathimblankly.
"RobertBridges.'LondonSnow.'"Hekickedatthesnowonthesidewalk."Youknow...
poetry?"
"Ah.Me,I'mmoreofan'AsIwasgoingtoSt.Ives'kindofguy.Thebloodyover
the
beautiful.ThoughI'mquitefondofColeridge.AndGreenDay."
"Butlookatthesnow\"
Iscoopedupahandful."Youlookatit,"Isaid,andflungitinhisface.Muchicy
cold

68

violenceensuedandwehadtoshakethesnowoutofourclothesandhairwhilewe
waited
ontheplatform.
St.Bartholomew'sAcademyisinanoldGeorgianmansionsouthofRussellSquare."But,of
course,sincePrisonerofAzkabancameout,wecallitStBrutus's."
Ilookedathimblankly.Thebookhadonlyjustcomeout.
Henryexplained."HisunclepretendsthatHarryattendsSt.Brutus'sSecureCentrefor
IncurablyCriminalBoys."
Ilaughed."Ah.Verygood.Onlyreadthefirstonesofar."
"YoucouldgoblindlLook,I'lllendyoutwoandthree,okay?"
Inodded.Ihadoddfeelingsaboutit.Harrywasanorphan,afterall,whoseparents
were
killedbysomeoneouttokillHarry.Alittletooclosetohome,that.
Wehadtosigninwiththeschoolporter,afriendlymaninacardigan,inaroomoffthe
mainhall.
TheinteriorofSt.Bart'swasallpolishedwoodandfustyoldportraitsstaring
disapprovinglyateveryone.Thestudents'roomsweresomewhatbetterandyouwere
more
likelytoseeManchesterUnitedorbandpostersinstead.
Henrytookmearoundtothedininghallandpulledsomefruit("Allhealthysnacks
hereenoughtomakeyoucroak")fromthekitchen,thenintroducedmetoafewpeople
on
hisfloor:"Griff,here,inmykarateclass.Helpingmewithmyalgebra."
Hisroommate,beingaweekdayboarder,wasoffwithhisfolksinIpswich,sowesat
in
there,thedooropen.Igottoseehisshrine,ashelfwithacottonmeditationcushionbefore
it,
andsomesouvenirsfromallovertheworld.
Wedidanhourofpolynomials,thentookabreak.Heshowedmethegyminthebasement,
completewithboxingringandsomegymnasticequipmentandballsandracketsand
cricket
bats."Weatherallowing,weusethegreenoveratBrunswickSquareforfootballand
cricket.
Andthephysedteacher'sarightbastardaboutrunning.Inanyweather."
Wedidanotherhalfhourofmath,thenhelentmehiscopiesofChamberofSecretsand
Prisoner,andsawmedown.Onthestairs,hegotasked,"Who'syourgirlfriend,
'enry?"bya
largeyouthsittingonthelandingwithtwoothers,allolderthanHenry.
Henrykeptwalking,hisfacestill.Whenweweredowninthemainhallwayandout
of
earshothesaid,"ThatbastardisthereasonIstartedkarate."
"Youturnedyourbackonhim."
"Butyoudidn't.Inoticed."Henrytiltedhishead."Wattersisthekindwho'dgofor
your
back,too,butnotinfrontofwitnesses.LasttimehegaveitagoIbloodiedhisnose.Igot
in
troublebutsodidhe.Hedoespettythingslikepinchingone'sclassworkorputting
pornin
yourroomandreportingit."

69

"That'swhyyoulockedyourroom."
"Yeah,hadtostartlastyear.Honoramonggentlemen,myarse."
"Yourparentsknow?"
"Mydadwenttothisschool.Inhistime,theoddbitofinvoluntarysodomyhappened,so
hethinksthisisalljustgood,characterbuildingexperience.Imean,nodanger
of
hemorrhoids,afterall."Henrysawmyface."Hey,it'snotthatbad.Myroommate's
quite
decentthoughhismathisworsethanmine,ifyoucanimagine."
Ishookmyhead."I'llneverbadmouthhomeschoolingagain."
IspentSundayatHogwarts.Well,readingonthebeachinOaxaca,really,butthe
books
weregood.ItriedtogettogetherwithSamandConsuelobutthecodephrase"Nola
conozco
"letmeknowtheystillthoughttheywerebeingwatched.
SoIread.I'dfinishedbothbooksbyMondaynight,so,havingneglectedmyown
schoolwork,Ididanessaycomparingtheevolutionofthemagicuseinallthree
books,in
French.That'swhatIdowhenImissMumthemost.WorkinFrench.
IgaveHenryaprintoutoftheessaywhenIreturnedthebookstohimatTuesday
class.
"Well,you'rerightaboutmyvocabulary.HavetohittheDictionnaireFrancaisAnglaisfor
this
one.Probablybegoodforme.Yuck."Buthefoldeditcarefullyandtuckeditinto
Prisoner
beforepackingthebooksawayinhisbag.
Wedidthecuppaafterandhesaid,"Youknow,I'vegotFebruaryhalftermholiday
comingup.Goingtocampatmycousin'sinNormandy.Thinkyoucouldtalkyourfolks
into
lettingyougowithme?"
Istalled."Normandy?Where?Cherbourg?"
Heshookhishead."Nah.LittlevillagecalledPontorsonlessthantenkilometers
from
MontSaintMichel."
I'dseenpicturesofMontSaintMichel.Whohasn't?
"Pretty.Howdoyougo?"
"TraintoPortsmouth.NightferrytoSaintMalo.Cousinmeetsmeattheferryinhis
Citroenandtakesmebacktohiscottage."
"There'snoproblembecauseofyourage?Traveling,Imean?"
"Ah,there'smoreofahasslecominghome,somycousinusuallycrossesbackandgetsme
throughpassportcontrol,doesabitofshopping,andthenheadsback."
"What'shedo,yourcousin?"
"Retiredreallymygrandmother'scousin,what,minetwiceremoved?Somethinglikethat.
Helikeshiswine.Likestogarden.Wasacivilservantbefore.Transport,Ithink.""Surehe'd
beallrightwithit?"
"Oh,yeah.Suggesteditbefore.Notyouspecificallybringachum,hesaid.Heprettymuch
turnsmeloosewhenI'mthere.Imean,ifthere'sanyheavyworkinthegarden,Ipitchin,
butthere'swoodsandariverandthere'satenminutebusyoucantaketothe
coastthetide

70

comesinlikethunder,justmilesofsandandthen,whoosh,initcomes."
"Well,itsoundsbrilliant.Tellyouwhat,I'llrunitpastmamereetmonpereandseewhat
comesofit."
"Icanhavemymumcall,ifit'llhelp.""Noted,"Isaid."Ifneeded."
Ishould'vesaidno.

ChapterEight
Incursions

Thesmellwokemeup,carrionrotten,retchinducing.Ifolloweditbackthroughthecave
towardthebatteryrack,afaintbreezeinmyface.Somethingoddaboutthat,sincethe
airflowwasusuallytheotherdirectionthroughtherubblethatclosedmylittlebranchand
up.It'stwothingsthe
waterbringsabitofairinbutalsoanetworkofcracksnearthespring.Theotherthingis
thatthesunheatstherockaroundtheupperendoftheshaft,suckingupairfrom
below.
Buttoday,somethingelsewashappeninganditreallystank.
IthadbeensolongsinceI'dbeenatthemouthoftheminethatIcouldn'tremember
it
wellenoughtojumpthere.Ifinallyhadtojumptothepittoiletatthepicnicarea
whereI
dumpedmybuckettoilet.Itwasovercastandsurprisinglycold,unusualforhere.
That
explainedtheairflowissue.Thecoldairwasflowingdownintotheshaft.Ijumpedbackfora
jacketbeforeIstartedthethreemilehikefromthepicnicareatothemineshaft.
WhenIgotthereIfoundthegateinthegratewaswideopen,thelockmissing,thehasp
mangledandstreakedwithcopper.Ilookedatoneofthedepressionsandrealized
someone
hadshotthelockoffthemetallicstreakswerefromcopperjacketedbullets.
Butthestenchwasuphere,too.
Ithoughttheyweredogs,butrealizedafteramomentthattheywerecoyotes.
Someone
hadshotthem,shotthelockoffthegrate,anddumpedthemdown.
Itwasillegaltohuntinthepark,Iwasprettysure.Evenifarangerhadkilledacoyotefor
somereasonrabiescontrol,maybehewouldn'thaveshotthelockoffanddumped
themin
theshaft.
Bastards.
IstillhadsomerubberglovesfromdoingtheconcreteworkintheHole,butIjumpedto
SanDiegoandvisitedHomeDepotforapaintandpesticiderespiratormaskand
some
heavydutyplasticbags.ThethreecoyoteswererottenwithmaggotsandfellapartasI
shoved
themintothebags.They'dprobablybeentherefordays,butthechangeintheweather
brought
thesmellin.Don'tknowhowIcouldofstooditwithoutthemask.

71

Ileftanoteunderthedoorattherangersstationtellingthemaboutthelock.Itwasafter
sevenbythenandtheparkhadofficiallyclosed.Itwasbetter,asfarasIwasconcerned,
that
thenotebeanonymous.IfIstartedtalkingtotherangers,theymightstartwondering
whereI
lived.Theparkhadaresidentialranger,buthisquarterswerewayoverbythepark
entrance,a
goodtenmilesaway.
IdumpedthebagsintheirDumpster.
TherewasawaterspigotoutsidethestationandI'drinsedtheglovesandwaswipingthem
onabitofturfnearthestation,preparatorytojumpingbacktotheHole,whenI
hearda
gunshot.
Itwasn'tnearIdidn'tjumpawayoranythingbutitdidcomefromuptheridge,
back
towardthemine.
Ijumpedbackuptotheshaft,whereIfeltcoldandexposed.Thesunwasgoingdownand
thewindwaspickingup.Iwalkedbacktooneoftheoldsurfacebuildings,aroofless
rockandmortarshell,onewalltumbleddownintoapileofitscomponentrocks,
and
shelteredfromthewind.
Afterawhile,Iheardanothershot,loud,butstillnotsoloudthatitmademenervous.A
motorstartedupinthedistance,andthenanother.
Soundedlikemotorbikes.Istartedtoleavetheoldbuilding,tryingforavantage
point
whereImightseethem,whenIrealizedthesoundwasgettinglouder.
Theyweren'tmotorbikestheywerefourwheeledATVs,camouflagepainted,twoof
them.Theyroaredupthecanyonscatteringrockanddirtandwhatlittlegrasstherewas
andI
wonderedwhyIhadn'tseentheirtracksbefore.Theyeachhadanothercoyoteon
theback
rackandtelescopicriflesonarackinfront.
Theglovesinmyhandwerestillwetfromwashing,prettyclean,butthesmellor
the
memoryofthesmellwasstillinmynose.
Theypulledrightuptothegrate,flippedopenthegate,andtossedthemdown.Just
like
that,notevenlookingaround.
"Millertime!"onesaidtotheother.
"Millertime,"theotheragreed.
Ithoughtabouttossingthemdowntheshaft,buttheyhoppedbackontheATVsandroared
backdownthecanyon.Offroadvehicleswerealsoillegalinthepark.
IjumpedbacktotheHoleandtookthebinocularsfromthedinghygear.Ijumpedtothe
ridgetopabovethecanyon,usingthebinocularstopickmydestination.Theywere
easyto
spottheywereinthelongshadowsoftheFishCreekMountainsandthey'dturned
their
headlightson.Ihadtomoveonce,astheymovedbehindaridge,fartherdownthehills,
butI

72

trackedthemallthewaytothepark'sedge,toalightthatshowedthroughthegathering
dusk.
IjumpedbacktotheDumpsterbytherangersstationandretrievedtheplasticbagsfullof
rottingcoyoteandleftthem,forthetimebeing,intheoldstonebuildingI'dshelteredin,
near
themineshaft.
IsaidyestoHenryaboutthetriptoFrance.Thatis,Isaiditwasallrightwithmyparents.
"DotheyneedtotalktoHarold?Ormymum?"
Ishookmyhead."They'recool.Tellyouthetruth,Isuspecttheycan'tbearsed."
Hegotthislookonhisface,likemaybeheshouldbesympathetic,butthensaid,"Be
a
relief,that.EverypermissionthingIhavetodoinvolvesfaxesandinternationalphone
calls
andcrossingmy?'sanddottingallthe/'s.Yourpassportallinorder?"
Inodded."Oh,yeah.Oldpicturehateitbutitdoesn'texpireforanotherthreeyears."
"Right.I'llarrangethetickets."
"Howmuchdoyouneed?"
"Oh,no,Dad'streat.Thinksit'sgoodI'vegotafriendoutsideofSt.Brutus's.ButIalsothink
hewantscousinHaroldtovetyousincetheycan'tthemselves,notuntilsummer."
"Oh,theycominghome?"
"Julyaftersummerterm.Threeweeks.Yougoinganywhere?"
"Toofarinthefuture,mate.Anyway,Idon'treallypaymuchattentiontoterm
holidays,
whatwiththehomeschooling.Bettertotravelwheneveryoneisn't."OrsoIheard.
Indaylight,Iusedthebinocularsandjumped,ridgetoridge,outtotheedgeofthe
park.
Therewasabarbwirefencenotthepark'sstretchingalongtheboundary.
Therewerecoyotecarcasses,someold,somefresh,hungeverythirtyfeetalongthe
wire.Someofthemweretattersofskincaughtonthebarbsandbonesbelow.
Ontheothersideofthefence,thegroundwasstrippedbare,novegetation,nothing,
butthereweresheep.Lotsofsheep.
Imoveddownthefence,tothenorth,thedirectiontheATVshadseemedtogothenight
before.Thefenceturnedacornerandtherewasastretchoflandthatlookedjust
liketheparkithadn'tbeengrazedtonothing,butthereweretiretracksthekindwith
deeppockets
fromthetirelugs,designedtogripinmudandsand.Iturnedandfollowedthem.
Theywentasfarasacountyroad,dirtbutgradedsmooth,thenheadedsouth,back
alonganotherfence.Thecoyotecarcassescontinuedallaroundtheproperty.The
housewassetbackfromtheroad,theonlyspotofvegetationontheentireranch.
Amailboxattheroadhad"Keyhoe"paintedcrudelyacrossit.TheATVswereparkednear
anoutbuildingandtherewerefourdogslyingontheporchthatcameforme,tearing
across
thegroundtowardthefence,growlingandbarking.
Thesewerenotfriendlydogs.
Isteppedofftheroadontheotherside,putamesquitebushbetweenthehouseand
me,
andjumpedaway.
ItookacabintoLaCrucecitafromSt.Augustin.Iwaswearingtouristclothesandabig
droopysunhat.IgavedirectionsinEnglishandwhenthedriveroverchargedme,I

73

didn't
correcthim.IwentintoSignificadoClarolikeanyotherclient.Alejandrawasonthe
phone
andIdidn'tlookatherasshetalkedIlookedatthepostersonthewall.
Sheglancedatmyclothesandsaid,inEnglish,"I'llbewithyouinamoment."Iwavedmy
hand,acknowledgingthis.
ShewasarrangingthedetailsforoneofherimmersioncoursesoutattheSheraton
resort
andIlistened,notreallypayingattentiontowhatshesaid,butjusthungryforhervoice.
Finally,detailsarranged,shehungupthephoneandsaid,"HowmayIhelpyou?"
Itookoffthehatandheldmyfingertomylips.Theymightbebuggingtheoffice.
Hereyeswidenedandwithoutsayinganything,shecamearoundthedeskandenfoldedme
inherarms,
Ibegancrying.
"Shhhhh."HerarmstightenedandIcriedharder;afterawhile,Icalmeddownandshelet
go.Ipickedupapadofpaperandwroteonit,iDondepodemoshablar?
Shetookthepadandwrotewhereandwhen.
Ahalfhourlaterwemetonthewoodedhillsidebehindthechurch,screenedbythetrees
andwithagoodviewoftheapproaches.
"NoonewaswithmewhenIwentintothechurch.IsaidtenAveMarias,"shetoldmeand
heldupabag,"andIbroughtchapulines."
Shewaskiddingaboutthegrasshoppers.
"Idon'tknowwhatcameoverme,"Isaid,overthechickenenmoladas.I'mokay,really."
"Imissedyou,too,"Alejandrasaid.
Ihadtobusymyselfwitheatingforamoment,thoughInearlychoked.Shecovered
by
tellingthenews,newbabies,twomarriages,whatwashappeningattheagency.I'd
gotten
someofthisfromConsuelobutIdidn'ttellherthat.Ijustlistenedandwatched.After
abit,
whenI'dfinishedeating,shesaid,"Youlooksomuscular!Exercising?"
"Yeah,karate."
"Andyourschoolwork?"
"Yes,Mum.Everyday."
Shetiltedherhead."YourEnglishhaschangedtheaccent,it'slessAmerican.""Yeah,I've
beenmuckingaboutinLondon."
"Don'ttellmewhere,"shecautioned.
"It'sabigtown,Londontwelvemillionsouls.ButIdon'tlivethere."
"Etvotrefrangais?"
WeswitchedtoFrench.
"Istilldowrittenclasswork.I'mgoingtoNormandynextmonth.Workonmyaccent."
"I'mjealous!I'vebeentoQuebecandtheirFrenchis...different.ButMartiniquein
the
FrenchWestIndieswasgood.ButnevertoFrance."
"Afternextweek,Icantakeyouinstantly."
Shelookedsorelytempted."No.Maybesomeday,whenourfriendfromtheVillaBlancais
gone,whenthey'vestoppedlookingforyou.LasttimeIwentoutoftown,toMexico
City,
theywerethere,watchingtoseewhoImet."

74

Icouldfeelmyfacechange,set.
"Don'tfeelbad.IdoeverythingIwoulddootherwise,exceptseeyou.Ijustignorethem."
"Consuelosaidtheysearchedthehouse."
Isawangerflickeracrossherfacebutthenshesmiled."Buttheydidn'ttakeanything.See?
Notlikeathief."
"Theystealyourprivacy."
Sheshruggedandtouchedherforehead."Thisisstillprivate."Shegesturedbetween
us.
"Thisisstillprivate."
Sherolledupthepapertrashfromthelunch,twistingittighterandtighter,thenputitin
myhand."Youcandisposeofthis.Iwillgobackintothechurchandpray.Howdoyou
leave?"
Isighed."I'lltakethebustoOaxaca,butIwon'tarrive.Twentykilometersshouldbesafe."
Ipulledthehatbackovermyeyes."See?Invisible."
"Wecanmeetheresometimes.HaveConsuelocallthedaybeforeexactlytwentyfour
hoursbeforeandshecansayelgotosaliseo.Iwillmeetyouthenextday."
"Well,ifthecatgotout,thecoyoteswouldeatit.Verywell,ifitissafe,"Iaddedalittle
stridently.
Shepulledmetoheragain."Ifitissafe."
ThedogswerenowheretobeseenwhenIappearedbehindthebushontheothersideof
thecountyroadfromtheranchhouse.Itwasdarkbutthemoonwasthreequarters
fulland
myeyeswereacclimated.Ijumpeduptotheporch,rippedthebagsopen,and
dumpedthe
rottingcoyotecorpsesinfrontofthedoor.
ThedogsbeganbarkingupastormbutIwasbackbehindthebushbeforethefirst
light
cameon.
"Oh,shit!Tasha,Linus,Jack,Lucy,getoutofthat!"Iheardathudandadog'syelp."Trey,
get
yourrifle!Someone'smessingwithus!"Irecognizedthevoicefromwhenthey'ddumped
the
lastcoyote.
Ileftbeforetheystartedshootingrandomlyintothenight.Ihopedallofthedogsrolledin
it.
"WhyamIdoingthis?"
Henryreachedoutandadjustedmybowtie.Itwasarentedwhitejacketdinnersuitfrom
aformalhireshopinLewisham.TheymademeleaveabloodygreatdepositsinceI
didn'thaveacreditcard.
"Meetgirls,havefun.MeetTricia."
He'donlyaskedmetwodaysinadvance.IguessifyourschoolisinaGeorgianmansion
andtheyhaveanhonesttoGodballroom,youoccasionallyhaveanhonesttoGodball.
The
St.Bartholomew'sMidwinterBall,tobespecific.
"Iwentoncebefore,whenIfirststartedatSt.Brutus's,butspentthewholetimeagainstthe
wall.ButTricia'sgotleavetoattendwithherroommateandthegirlsfromSt.
Margaret's
come.It'llbefun."

75

WewerewaitingforTriciaatPaddingtonStationbythebronzestatueofIsambard
KingdomBrunei.Myhairwasstickingupinback.Icouldfeelit.Ikepttryingtopushitdown
butHenrysaid,"Leaveitalone.Peoplewillthinkyouhavenits."
"Git.""Twit."
The5:29rolledinandHenryturnedtowatch.Ifhe'dbeenmyheight,hewould've
beencraninghisneckandstandingontiptoe,buthedidn'thaveto.
I'drealizedearlyonthatIwasthereformoralsupport.Whatthehellwhynot?
Triciareallywasstunningtall,blond,greeneyed,andifshehadanyofHenry's
problem
withpimples,makeupwashidingitentirely.Herroommatewasshorter,thankGod,
probably
myheightwithoutheels,butslightlytallerwith.Shehaddarkglossyhairhalfoverher
face,
browneyes,aturnedupnose.
"GriffinO'Conner,MarthaPetersham."
"Delighted,"shesaid.
"Charmed,"Isaid,soundingrehearsedandphonyandstupid.
WetooktheTubebacktoRussellSquarebutacabfromthestation,foganddrizzle
not
mixingwellwithrentedclothing.
TriciaandMarthacheckedinwiththeheadmasterasrequiredandheplacedthe
reassuringcallbacktoSt.Margaret's.Theyweretocallagainwhentheyreached
Martha's
aunt'sflatinKensingtonGardensaftertheball.
HenryandIescortedthemintotheballroom.
Idon'tknowwhatIwasexpectingprobablysomethinglikeaMerchantIvoryproduction
withabutlerannouncingthearrivals.Itwaskidsingoodclothesdancingtoanicepunk
band
fromtheEastEnd.Everysixsongsorso,thebandwouldbreakandthey'dplayslow
recorded
musicandafewstudentsbutmostlythechaperoneswouldgetoutandfoxtrot.
"Idon'tknowhowtodance,"ItoldMarthaearlyon,"butI'lltakeinstruction."
This,apparently,wastherightthingtosay.Ijustthoughtaboutitlikekata,ortwo
step
kumite,andtookinstruction.Sherelaxedagreatdealandbossedmearound
unmercifully.
TherewaslotsoflaughterandsometeasingbecauseHenryandTriciadidalltheslow
dances.
HenryandIwerereturningfromtherefreshmentstablewithdrinkswhenwesawWatters,
Henry'sinschoolnemesis,tryingtopullTriciaontothedancefloor.Itookonelook
at
Henry'sfaceandsaidloudly,"Why'stheheadmastercomingoverhere?"
Wattersreleasedherarmlikehe'dbeenscaldedandturned.
HenrylookedlikemurdersoIsteppedforward,betweenhimandWatters,mydrinksheld
outbeforeme."Watchout,drinkscomingthrough!"Iweavedabitwildlyand
Watters
steppedback,eyeingthedrinksandstilllookingaroundfortheheadmaster.
Tricia,alsoeyeingHenry'sexpression,movedsuddenly,takingHenrybythehandand
saying,"Ilovethissong."Shepulledhimontothedancefloorandkeptmovinguntilshewas

76

on
theotherside,nearwheretwoofthechaperonessat,nibblingcake.
Iturned,morecautiously,andhandedMarthaherfizzywater."Hereyougo,m'dear."
I
turnedbacktoWattersandofferedhimtheother."Thirsty,mate?"
Hisreplywasinarticulate.Heturnedonhisheelandleft.Ididn'tturnmybackuntilhewas
wellawaysoIwassurprisedwhenMarthakissedmeonthecheek.Ifeltmyearsgohot.
"What'sthatfor?"
"Beingclever,"shesaid."Beingbrilliantwhenitwasneeded."Shewasblushingalittle,too.
"Comeon,dance."
WetookataxiafterandHenryandIsawthemallthewaytotheaunt'sflatinKensington
Gardens.
HenryandTriciasnoggedthewholeway,andonthesteps,beforeMarthapunched
the
buzzer,Igotkissed,too.Andnotonthecheek.
Theyscannedourpassports,andalongwithfifteenhundredothersouls,wetroopedaboard
theMVBretagne.Thebrochuresaiditcouldhandleovertwothousand,butitwasoff
season.
Thecarshadbeenloadingforoveranhour.
"Dadactuallysprungforacabin.UsuallyIjustdothetripinoneofthereclining
chairs,
whichisalotcheaper,butIguessthere'sacertaineconomywithtwo.He'snotpayingfor
twocabins,afterall."
Inodded.IvaguelyremembertakingtheferrytoCalaisfromDoverasachildandmy
motherinsistingwenotspeakawordofEnglishuntilwewerebackintheUK.Ithink
theywerebothingraduateschoolthenandwehadthreeweeksoff.
ShewasprettyseriousaboutitandIlearnedthewordsformyfavoritefoodspretty
quickly.Pommesfrites,Maman,s'ilteplait?
Theyhadacinemaaboard,bars,shops,severalrestaurants.Wecould'veeatenin
thefanciertableservice,LesAbers,butwehittheselfserviceplace,LaBaule,instead.
"Notfishandchipsagain?""Eatwhatyouwant."
IhadthebaguettewithBrieandtomatoandbasil,andpiealamodeforpudding.
Aswegotoutintothechannel,theshipbeganpitchingaroundandIbegantoregret
the
pie.We'dbeenthinkingabouthittingthecinemabutitwassomethingwe'dbothseen,so
we
returnedtoourtinyinboardcabinandlaydown.HenrydroppedoffpromptlybutI
couldn't
gettosleepitwasstillearlyafternoonbymyclock.Istartedtogetupagain,buttheship
was
stilldancingandmystomachlurched.Ilaybackdownanddozed,moreorless,
throughthe
night.
Theshipwasfarcalmerwhenweawoke,shelteredfromthenorthwindsbytheCotentin
Peninsula.Wegotourstufftogether,thenhittheLaGerbedeLocronancafeforteaanda
roll.
TheIsleofJerseywasbathedinwispsoffogtothesouth.WedockedatSaintMaloat
eight
butittookabittogetoff.

77

CousinHaroldwaswaitingontheothersideofpassportcontrol."Notrouble?"
"Notthistime,"saidHenry."Mr.HaroldLangsford,youngMasterGriffinO'Conner."
WeshookhandsandIasked,"Istheretroublesometimes?"
Haroldsmiled."Sometimestheygetconcernedaboutyoungsterstravelingalone.I've
had
tostepupmorethanoncetoshowhe'sbeingmet.But,"helookedupatHenry'sface,
"since
Henry'sshotup,Iexpectthey'renotpayingthatmuchattention."Heglancedatthe
people
streamingaroundus."Let'sgivethecarparkashot,whydon'twe?I'dliketoclearout
before
theystartunloadingthecars."
IttooklessthanfortyfiveminutestomakeittoPontsorson.Wewentonthecoastroad
butitturnedinlandbeforewecouldseeMontSaintMichel."Later,"saidCousin
Harold.
"Don'twanttogotoday,anyhow.There'slesstouristsduringtheweek."
Wehadfourdays.
CousinHarold'sgraystone"cottage"hadfourbedrooms,awalledgarden,andavast
slate
roof.Everythinginthegardenwasbrownandwiltedbuttidy,bedswellcoveredwith
mulch.
IthadbeenfoggyinPortsmouthbutbythetimeweparkedhisCitroen,thesunhad
burnedoff
thelightmistandtheskywasblueasMum'seyes.
Well,liketheywere.
Hishomewasn'tquiteinthevillage;itwasfifteenminutestowalkin."Thoughtwe'dhave
lunchatthecafe."Onthewayhesaid,"You'vejustcrossedintoNormandy."
"It'snotattheriver?"Thebridgewasstillahead.
"No,inancienttimesitwasbutnowit'swestoftheriver.There'sasaying:'Themadnessof
theCouesnonputMontSaintMichelinNormandy.ButmodernFrancedoesn't
dependon
thevagariesofrivers."
HefedusfishsoupandpotatoesandsaladandpouredushalfglassesofwhiteMuscadet.
"Rightthen,youbuggeroffI'mgoingtotakemynap.Teaatfive?"
WewalkedaroundthevillageandHenrypointedoutalargethreestoriedhouse
with
dormerwindowsstickingoutoftheslateroofandshieldedbyawroughtironandstone
wall.
"That'shaunted,youknow."
"Tellmeanother."
"Well,doesn'titlooklikeit'shaunted?"
"Oh,aye.Moviesethaunted.LikethehauntedhouseinDisneyland.TheyhavethatatEuro
Disney?"
"TheycallitthePhantomManor,Ithink."
WewalkeddownaroundtheHotelMontgomeryandthendownbytheriver,the
Couesnon,andthewalkwaythatranallthewaytoMontSaintMichel.
Thesunmadeeverythinglovelystill,warmairandItookoffmyjacketandtieditaround
mywaist.BackbythetrainstationtherewerelotsoflittlemodelsoftheMontandIasked

78

the
clerk,aboredyoungwoman,whichshethoughtIshouldbuy,totrymyFrench.Shelooked
at
melikeIwascrazybutenteredintoaconversationreadilyenough.Ibegansayingthings
like,
"Well,ifIwantedtohitsomeone,whichwouldbethebest?Andwhichdoyou
recommend
forthrowing?Forfeedingtodislikedrelatives?Forcloggingatoilet?"
ThiskilledthirtyminutesandIcouldfeelmyearfortheaccentimproving.Sheasked
wherewewerefromand,fortunately,didn'twanttotryherEnglishwhenshefoundout.
Then
alargebusloadoftouristsreturnedfromtheMontandfilledtheshop,killingtime
before
theirtrain.IboughtamediumbrassMontandapostcardandwefledfromthecrowd.
"Well,youraccentisstillatrocious,"saidHenry.
"Shedidn'tseemtohaveanytroubleunderstandingme."
"Triumphofcontentoverstyle.Yourvocabularyisstillbigger.Couldn'tfollowallofit."
"Thoughtyoustudieditinschool?"
"Usedto.Thisyearit'sArabic."
"Oh."
"BecauseitlookslikemyparentsaremakingaspecialityoftheMiddleEast.And,er..."
"And?"
"Tricia,too.She'sfluent."
Ilaughedandlaughed,untilheturnedredandpunchedmyarm.
"Nousdevrionsparlerseulementfrangaistandisquenoussommesici."
Hehadmesayitmoreslowlyandfinallygotit.
SowedidonlyFrenchfortherestofthetrip.CousinHaroldwasfinewithit.He'dbeen
fluentforyears.Henrydidn'ttalknearasmuchasheusuallydidbutweworkedhardto
drag
himintoconversations.
Thenextday,HenryandIwalkedallthetenkilometerstotheMontandspentthe
day
wanderingfromGautier'sLeaptoGabriel'sTower,thenspentsometimetoddlingaround
the
mudbanks,thoughwestayedawayfromtheareasmarked
SABLESMOUVANTS!
IdiscusseditwithHenry,inFrenchofcourse.Hepickeduparockandheaveditontothe
wetsandandbloop,itsankrightdown.Veryquicksandindeed.
Isketchedagreatdeal,annoyingHenry,whowassnappingpicswithhiscamera,butgota
goodsketchofthelacestaircaseandthestatueofSaintMichaelslayingthedragon.He
kept
wantingmetohurryupbutI'djustsendhimofftogetusdrinksorsnacks.
Havingdecidedwe'dwalkedquiteenough,wetookthetrainstationshuttlebackto
Pontorson.
Werelaxedthenextday,helpedCousinHaroldclearleavesoutofhisroofgutters.I
sketched,andwewatchedaManchesterUnitedmatchonthetelly.Wewerekeepingthe
dealthough,notspeakinganythingbutFrench.
BythetimetheMVBretagnehadpulledintoPortsmouth(CousinHaroldcamebackwith
us,tohandusthroughpassportcontrolanddosomeshopping)myaccentwasmuch

79

better
andwe'dmanagedtoincreaseHenry'svocabularybyaboutfiftywords.
"Youvisitmethissummerandwe'llmakearealbreakthroughgetyouspeakinglikeGriff
here,"saidCousinHarold,finallyrevertingtoEnglishwhilewewaitedintheBritish
citizen
lineatimmigration.
Theywerescanningthebarcodeonthepassportsandglancingatthepictures,andsaying,
"Welcomeback,welcomeback,welcomeba"Theterminalbeepedwhentheyscanned
my
passportandtwoboredlookingguardsleaningagainstthewallweresuddenly
blockingthe
routeouttothecarparkandthetaxisandthebuses.
"Mr.O'Conner,I'mafraidI'llneedyoutogowiththeseofficers."
Shit!"What'swrong?"Iasked."Didmypassportexpire?"
Heshookhishead."No."
CousinHaroldandHenryhadgonethroughbeforemeandgottenyardsontheway,
but
HenrytuggedonHarold'selbowandtheycameback."Whatseemstobethe
problem,
Officer?"
"Areyoutravelingwiththislad,sir?"
"IndeedIam.Inlocoparentis,sotospeak.Wereyouworriedhewasan
unaccompanied
minor?"
"No,sir.There'sanalertout.He'swantedforquestioning."
"Questioning?Forwhat?Ishouldreallycallhisparents,then."
"I'dbesurprisedifyoucould,sir.Accordingtothisalert,theyweremurderedsix
years
ago.Thislad'sbeenmissingeversince."
Henrywasfrowningbutwhenheheardthishiseyeswentwide."Nonsense.Griff's
dad
teachescomputersandhismotherteachesFrenchlit."
TheimmigrationcontrolofficernarrowedhiseyesandlookedinterestedlyatHenry."Tell
youthat,didhe?"
"Stopit,"IsaidtoHenry."That'swhattheydid,allright.Before"Myvoicebrokeand
I
clampedmymouthshut.
CousinHaroldfrownedatme."Surely,Officer,youdon'texpectthisboytohaveanything
todowiththiscrime?"
Theofficershrugged."Itjustsays'detainforquestioning.'Untilfourdaysagohe
was
presumeddead."Hisphonerangandhepickeditup."Yes,sir.We'vegothim.Your
office?
Yes,sir."Hehungupandspoketothetwoguards."Thechiefwantshim."He
handedmy
passporttooneofthem.
ItwasHenry'seyesthathurt."TheycameforusinCalifornia,"Isaid."IgotawaybutMum
andDad"Itookanotherbreath."Anyway,that'stheonlythingIwasn'thonestabout,
ifyou

80

werewondering."
"Here,boy,letmetakethatforyou,"oneoftheguardssaid,takingholdofmybag.Theone
withmypassporttookholdofmyupperarm,firmly.Prettymuchliketheother
guardhad
takenmysuitcase.
"Ifyou'dcaretocomethisway,sir,"hesaidtoCousinHarold.
Henrysaid,"Someonekilledyourparents?Whodidthat?"
Ishookmyhead."It'scomplicated."
Theytookusthroughadoorwithapunchbuttoncombinationlock,thendownahallway
towardabankoflifts.Aheadontherightwasadoublesetofdoorswiththe
universal
pictograms.
Ipointed."Needtousetheloo.Urgently."
Theylookedateachotherandtheoneholdingmeshrugged."Right,then."Hepushed
the
dooropenandsaid,"Takeoffyourcoatandturnoutyourpockets."CousinHaroldand
Henry
stayedinthehallwiththeotherimmigrationofficer.
"What?"
"Comeonyouwanttousethelav,dowhatIsay."
Itookthecoatoffitwasmyfavoritejacket,aleatheroneandhandedittohim.Iputmy
walletonthecounterandahandfulofFrenchcoins."That'sit.Why?"
"Routine.Don'twantyoudoingyourselfaninjury.Showmeyourankles."
Ipulledupmypantlegs."Noknives.Noguns,"Isaid.Igesturedatmythinwalletandthe
coins."Allright?"
Henoddedandpointedatastall."Helpyourself."
TheminuteIlockedthestalldoorbehindme,Ijumped.
Itwasasloppyjump,unfocused,andpiecesofporcelainandwatersplashedacross
my
shoesandthelimestonefloorofmyHole.Ihatedtothinkwhatthestalllookedlike.Bet
he
heardit.Ipicturedhisstepspoundingno,splashingacrossthefloorandhis
openingthe
doortoseetheshatteredtoilet,maybetoiletpaperstrewneverywhere.
Andnome.

ChapterNine
ShatteredTiles

So,ithadtobethepassport.They'dscanneditonmywaytoFrance.Someonehadnoticed
andthealertwasputinthesystem.Itcould'vebeenjustthenormalauthorities.
Surelythe
consularpeoplehadgotinvolvedwhenmyparentswerekilled.Afterall,I'dgone
missing.I
shouldneverhavegonethroughcustoms.Ishould'vejumpedpast,instead,ordirectly
ontothe

81

boatinthenight.Onthewayback,Ishouldn'thaveevenusedtheboat.
Andnowthey'dwatchHenry.They'dwatchthehealthclubwhereItookkarate.
Whenwillyoulearn,yougit?
ImopedaroundtheHoleforafewdays,thenjumpedbacktoLondon.Iwasultracareful,
poppingintothefieldinOxfordshireanddoingtherestbytrain.Nojumping.Itwas
the
weatherforcoats,fortunately,freezingrain,andIworeabiganorakwiththehood
pulled
wellforward.
Henrycameoutofthehealthclubaftereveningclassandheadedforthe
Knightsbridge
station.Hisheadwasdownandhisshoulderswererounded.Noafterclasscuppa.I
followed,
distantly.Therewereseveralotherpeoplegoingdownthestreettowardthestation
andI
decidedagainstgoingin.Cabswerescarce,becauseofthecoldrain,butIluckedinto
one
droppingafareatHarrodsandhadhimtakemestraighttoRussellSquare.Henryexited
ten
minutesafter,asdidseveralothers.Twomeninidenticaldarkgreenovercoatsfollowed
him
allthewaybacktoSt.Bartholomew's.
OneofthemwasKemp,themanfromBristol,themanwho'dbeentherethenight
my
parentsdied.
Inearlyjumpedonthespot.
Whoa,boy.Youwanttoconfirmthatyou'rehangin'about?
Iheadedintheotherdirection,towardHolbornStation,andtenminuteslater
stepped
ontoaneastboundCentraltrainandrodeitallthewaytotheendofthelineatEpping.
Iwalkedoutintothecarparkshroudedintherainandhesitated.No,iftheycouldfeelme
jumpsixteenmilesawayfromHenry'sschool,Ididn'tcare.NothingtotiemetoHenry,
even
iftheycouldfeelit.AndIwassickoftherain.
IbaskedonthebeachinPhuketthenextmorning.IwaschilledthroughIthoughtitwas
thedampnessofthecave,butevenonthebeach,inthehotsun,Ifeltcold.Thewater
looked
unappealingasaresultbutultimatelyitwasthecure.
ItfeltlikeabathafterthefreezingraininLondon.Notexactlyhot,butcertainly
warm.
LaterIgotbreakfastfromastreetvendor,freshpineappleandgrilledgarlicsausages
and
stickyrice,andateitinthestickyshadeofamangotree.
AttheKinko'sinSanDiego,Iwrote:
Hey,henry,
I'msorryyougotcaughtupinmystuff.Ididlietoyouaboutmyparentsbeingalivebutihad
tolietothedojo,too.Thepeoplewhokilledthemarestillafterme.Ilookatthisandit
soundsridiculous,paranoidashell,butthatdoesn'tmakeitanylesstrue.Istartedtovisit
youandthey

82

werethere,followingyou.
So,it'sbeenreal.Keepontopofyourmath.Saygoodbyeforme.
Yourfriend,Griffin
IposteditfromwaythehelloutinBuckinghamshire,attheCheshampostoffice.Ihadmy
doubtsaboutit.Iftheysawit,Ihopedthey'dunderstandIwouldn'tbeseeingHenry
again.Iftheydidn'tinterceptit,Ihopedhe'dunderstandthatwell,Ijusthopedhe'd
understand.
I'dalmostsaid,"SaygoodbyetoTriciaandMartha."ThenI'damendeditto,"Saygoodbye
tothegirls."AndIthoughtaboutKempandhislotwatchingthem,followingthem.
AsIsaid,IhopedHenrywouldunderstand.
Obviously,Istoppedgoingtokarate.AndIlaidoffLondoncompletelyforawhile.
Thisdidn'tmeanIstoppeddoingkarate.IworkedonmykatasandIboughtadozen
makiwari,practiceboardsyouplantintheearthwithpaddedstrikingsurfacescoveredin
rope
aboutshoulderhigh.IscatteredthemaroundtheEmptyQuarter,upanddownthegully.
NowifI'dbeendoingregularstrikes,Icould'vegottenalongwithjustonetarget.Youjust
standinfrontofitandwhackit,afterallpunches,knifehand,elbow,andkicksbutI
wasn't
doingitlikethat.
IstartedthestrikeswhileIwasstillyardsaway.ItwaslikethattimeinBirmingham,when
IpunchedWickes,thetournamentcheat.Beginthestrike,jump,andconnect.
ExceptwhenIdidn't.
Iscrapedmyshinandforearm,cutknuckles,andonceIbloodiedmyownnose.I'djumped
tooclose,clippedtheboardwithmyfistbutshotpast,anditsprangbackfullinmyface.
Inearlygaveituprightthen,butIwasbackthenextday,swollennoseandall.
Iboughtoneofthosesolarshowers,theplasticonesforcamping,andhungitfrom
the
southsideofanahuehuetetreeinthejunglebehindBahiaChacacual.Dependinghow
much
overcasttherewas,I'dshowersometimebetweenmiddayandtheafternoon.Itried
notto
leaveittoolate.Ifitwascloudless,itgottoohotandIhadtoaddcoldwater.I'dalways
jump
itbacktomyHoleandrefillitfromthespringwhenIwasdone,thenhangitbacksoit
would
bereadythenextday.
Exceptfortheoddrainyday,itworkedoutwell,andifIwasdesperate,I'dwashin
the
rain.Ididn'thavetoworryaboutmembershipsorpeoplemessingwithmeandIcouldsee
the
brightPacificthroughthetrees.Andyoudidn'twanttolinger,becausethemosquitoes
could
bebad,especiallyatdusk.
ItookatrainfromSaintMalo,jumpingtothecarparkattheferry,changingsome
Americancashtomonnaiefrangaisintheterminal,thenwalkingtothetrainstation.
Besides
thecashandanoversizedcoat,allIcarriedwasmysketchpadandsomepencils,which
wasa

83

damngoodthing.ThestreetsswarmedwithtouristsandIwould'vehatedtobecarryinga
bag.
Asitwas,Iwashitseveraltimesbyothers'luggage.
Doingitlikethis,therewerenocustomsagents,nopassportsscanned,nocheckpoints.
I
wasnervousaboutit,wonderingifthey'dpostedanyonethere.IthoughtCousinHarold's
place
inPontorsonwasmorelikelybeingwatched,butIsatinthecornerofacarand
lookedfor
familiarfaces,greentrenchcoats,anyonewatchingme,buttheonlypersonswho
paidany
attentionweretheconductorandmyseatmates,anoldFrenchcoupleandanervous
Spaniard
withnoFrenchorEnglish.
Likeme,hewasgoingtoParisandwasworriedhewasonthewrongtrain.While
he
talkedfunny(Ithought)withhisCastilliangrathias,hehadnotroubleunderstandingme
so
immediatelyaskedallsortsofquestionstowhichIdidn'tknowtheanswers.Ispentthe
ride
actingasaconduitbetweenhimandtheelderlyFrenchcouple,astheyhadthe
answersandweremorethanhappytotellhimabouthistraintransferinRennesandthe
bestsubwaystop
forhishotelinParis.Theyshowedpicturesoftheirchildrenandgrandchildren.The
Spaniardshowedapictureofhisparentsandhissistersandhissisters'children.Bythe
endofthehour
tripintoRennesmythroatwasdryandmyespanolwasbecomingethpanol.
ThecouplesaidaurevoirinRennesandIhelpedmySpanishfriendtohistrain.Histransfer
wasimminentbutmytraindidn'tleavefortwohoursthepenaltyofbuyingthetickets
that
dayinsteadofreservingahead.Hethankedmeeffusivelyuponboarding.Iwavedand
walked
awayfeelingbothrelievedandsad.
Iatetheplatdujourinacreperieinthenextblockoverfromthetrainstation.After,
I
walkedabitandsketched.Iboardedmytrainingoodtime,foundtheseat,andafterhaving
my
ticketpunched,sleptthetwohoursintoParis.
TheGareMontparnassewasallglassandpeople,endofbusinessdaycrowds
swarming
tocatchtrainsoutofParis.Stillhalfasleep,Ifoundarestroomand,verycarefully,
jumped
home.
ThistimeIdidn'tbreakthetoilet.
Itisn'thardtogetfedinParisiftheythinkyou'reFrench,butitisamazinghowharditisto
getservedotherwise.Myaccentwasapparentlyimprovingenoughand,itseemed,kids
were
wearingsimilarenoughclothesthatIfitin.
IsketchedalotthebridgesovertheSeinemostly,andinterestingfaces,iftheywere

84

sittingstill.Oneday,inacafe,Ibegandrawingarandomhead,nolivesubjectinmind,and
the
outlineofthehead,particularlyasharpturnbetweentheforeheadandthetop,felt
familiar.I
keptscribbling,faster,andfaster,moreanimpressionistcaricaturethanmyusualstyle,
butI
capturedit,thatfeelingoffamiliarity.
OnlythendidIrealizeitwasKemp,theBristolaccentedbastardwho'dbeenthereinSan
Diego,who'dbeenthereinOaxacaandLondon.Itoreitoutofthesketchbook,my
hands
spreadtocrumpleitintoaball,butIstoppedmyself.
"C'estbon.Votrepere?"Thewaiter,passingby,surprisedme.
Iwasangry.Thedrawingdidn'tlookanythinglikeme!
"Non.Unhommemauvais."Averybadman.Definitelynotmyfather.
Thewaitershrugged."Monpereestunhommemauvais."HemovedonbeforeIsaid
anything.
Perhapsifmyfatherhadbeenabadman,Iwouldn'tmisshimso.
WhenIleft,Icarefullyputtheloosedrawinginthebackofmysketchbook.
Istolesomeplywoodpanelingfromaconstructionsite,sixsheets,fourfeetbyeight,
and
leanedthemagainstthewallofthecave.Therewasn'tanyplacetopinupmy
drawings
otherwise.Thelimestonewasoftendampandneverflat,andmyrefrigerator,the
little
twelvevoltjob,wasn'texactlymagnetheaven.Onedrawingoverwhelmedit.Iput
six
plywoodsheetsup,fiveofthemasedgetoedgeastheirregularsurfacesallowed.
Theoneontheend,separatedbyagoodyard,becamethevillains'galleryasfarfrom
my
bedaspossibleandwhiletherestwerelitwithlampsthatwerepartoftheregularcircuit,
I
putinaseparatelightandswitchforthatendpanel.
IstartedwithKemp.
Itriedothersthewomanwho'dbeentherethenightmyparentsdied.ThemanI'dshotin
theeyeswiththepaintballgun.ThemanI'dshotinthebollocksandthenhitseveral
times
withthegun.ButeventhoughIcouldrememberthewoman'svoice,thevisualmemory
wasn't
there.Itriedbutitwaslikedrawingmadeupcomicbookcharactersnorealbasisinreality.
Thebigguy,fromOaxaca,theoneI'dscaredoverthecliffhimImanaged.Itwas
that
surprisedandpanickylookasheflinchedovertheedge.IalsomanagedSenorOrtizfrom
the
AgenciaFederaldeInvestigation,thoughIdidn'treallycounthimasoneofthem.More
ofa
minionsupportstaff,ifyouwill.AndIdrewagoodheadshotofMateothebellmanas
I'd
seenhimthatnightatthefiestadeNavidad.
TheycouldfeelitwhenIjumped.Theyweredangerous.Theywantedmedead.

85

Maybe
Ortizdid,too,buthewasn'tthesamelevelofthreat.
IputthebigmanandMateoupwithKemp.OrtizIputdownbelow.Iscribbledstuffon
theedges:where,when,andwho,ifIknewit.
LaterIaddedabiggishworldmap.IusedlittlePostitsfor"named"ones.Kempgotonein
OaxacaandSanDiegoandLondon.Ortiz,thebigman,andMateogotoneinOaxaca.
ThenI
puttwopinsinLondonfortheguyswho'dfoundmeinthesubway.Icouldn'tremember
them
wellenoughtodrawthem.ThreeotherpinswenttoSanDiegoforthewomanandthe
other
twomenwho'dbeentherewithKemp.
Thatmadeseven,notcountingOrtiz.Yetthey'ddetectedmeinLondon,soatleastonehad
beenstationedthere,ortravelingthrough,butitmadesense,iftheyhadenoughof
'em,to
stationa"Sensitive"inmajorcities.
Iwrote"Sensitives"onabigscrapofdrawingpaperandpinneditabovethedrawingsof
Kemp,thebigman,andthebellman,Mateo.OnanotherscrapIwrote,"Minions,"and
pinned
itbelow,aboveOrtiz.
ThenIwentbacktothelibraryinSanDiegoandgotprintoutsfromthemicrofilm
collectionofthenewspapers,theNewsDailyandtheUnionTribunethestoriesthattold
about
thatnight,themurderofmyparents.
OnthesideoftheElCentroRanchMarket,there'sthismuralofwomendoinglaundryin
theriver.Oneofthemwearsonlyherunderwearit'snotexactlyexplicitbutIstill
liked
lookingatit.
Fromthepayphoneinthefrontofthestore,IcalledSam'snumberand,asusual,askedfor
Rosainespanol.Sam'svoicewashoarseandinsteadofusingeitherofthecode
phrases
("numeroincorrecto"or'Wolaconozco")hesaid,"Griffin,Ineedyouherenow.
They'vegot
Consuelo."
Idrewbreathtosay"Who?"andanothervoicecameontheline.
"Comeon,Griffin.Don'tmakemehurt'em."ThatthickBristolaccentwasunmistakable.
Howonearthdidhekeepit?Didn'tKempeverwatchBBCasakid?
"Letthemgo,"Isaid."Leavethemalone."
"Don'twastetheirtime,boy."Hehungup.
Itookasteptotheleftandlashedout,kickingthetrashbarreloverviolently;my
foot
camedownintheEmptyQuarter,sandandtrashswirlingaroundme.Ifeltlikethrowing
up.
IjumpedtotheTexacopetrolstationandusedthephonethere,startingwith911.
"There
aremenwithgunsholdingSamCoultonathisranchhouse.They'retorturinghim
they're
tryingtogethisbankaccountaccessnumbersfromhim.No,Iwon'tgiveyoumyname."
Ihungup.They'dknowwherethecallcamefrom,ofcourse,butthepetrolstationwas

86

a
longwayfromnowhere.
ThenextnumberIhadtogetoutofthephonebook.WhentheyansweredIspoke
in
Spanish."TherearecoyoteswithgunsattheranchofSamCoulton.Theyhavethirty
illegals
andarewaitingfortheirtransporttomeetthem.Ifyouhurry"Ihungup,notevenwaiting
for
thequestions.IjumpedtotheturnofftheplaceonoldHighway80wherethecountydirt
road
joinedtheasphaltandbeganwalking.ItwasoversevenmilestotheranchhousebutI
didn't
wantthemtofeelmyarrivaland,ifmycallsworked,Imightbeabletohitcharide.
AnINShelicopterroaredoutoftheeast,probablycomingfromElCentro.Theycamein
low,maybeseventyfeet,obviouslyfollowingthehighway,thenbankinghardatthe
turnoff.I
thoughtforamomenttheyweredoingthatfornavigation,butIrealizedtheywantedto
spot
anyfleeingvehicles.Thiswastheonlyroadout.
Icrouchedofftheroad,inthemesquite,whenIheardthem,wellbeforetheyflashed
by
overhead.Ishookmyfistintheair.
Go,go,GO!
Istartedrunningbutthatdidn'tlast.Iwasstilloverfivemilesawayanditwashotandthe
sunwaslikeahammer.Theroadduckedupanddown,overasetoflowridges,andI
couldn'tseeorhearanything.Well,Iheardsomething.
Igotbehindastandofchollabeforethesheriff'scarcameovertheridgebehindme.Itwas
followedalmostimmediatelybyanSUVinINSwhiteandgreenandthenanINS
passengervan.
Formyimaginaryillegalaliens.
Theybunchedupandslowed,bumpingthroughawashedoutsectionoftheroadon
the
wayupthenextridge.Iwasoutintotheroadandrunning,crouchedlow,tryingtoget
behind
thevanbeforetheynoticedmeintherearviewmirror.
Ididn'thavetoworrythepatrolcar,inthelead,should'vebroughtuptherear.ThreeINS
agentspiledoutoftheirSUVtopushthepatrolcarpastthepointitwasbottomingout.
Iconsideredjumpingintotheinteriorofthevan,butfoundIcouldcrouchonthe
box
receiverofitstrailerhitchandholdontothesparetirerack.Good.Didn'twant
to
jumpdidn'twanttoclueinKempandhisbunch.
JustletSamandConsuelobeallright.
Idroppedoffthevanwhileitbouncedacrossaparticularlynastypotholeandthenrolled
sidewaysintothebrush.Igotstuckbyapricklypear,hidinginatuftofbrowngrass,but
the
vandidn'tstop,soIguesstheydidn'tnotice.
Iscrambledthroughthebrush,headedforthebackofthestable.
ThefirstthingIsawwasoneoftheINSagentsgoingbywithanM16assaultrifle.

87

I
duckedbackintothebrush.ThesecondthingIsawwasanotherINSagent.
Hewasdead.Veryclearlydead.Hisheadwashalfoffandthebloodwasworsethan
it
wasworsethanthatnight.Igaggedandmovedcarefullybackintothebush,breathing
through
mynose,butfinally,Icouldn'thelpitIvomitedintothesand.
TherewasabiggreenSUVIdidn'trecognizenotSam'sanditcertainlywasn'tanofficial
vehicle.Italsohadn'tpassedmeonthedirtroad.Kemp'speoplemust'vecomeinit.
He'sstillhere?
Icameupbehindthecarfromthecountysheriff'sdepartment.Therewasanofficer
talkingontheradio,buthewasn'tseated.Hewascrouchedontheground,shielded
bythe
opendoor."forensicsforsure,andbodybagsuh,twofortheresidentsandthere
weresix
INSguysonthechopperfiveagentsandthepilot."
"Gotthat,Joe,"theradiocrackled."We'vegotourchopperupandheadingyourway,eyes
wideopen.Hopefullythey'llspotthemissingchopper.Sheriffsayssecurethecrimescene."
Icouldn'thelpmyself.
Ijumpedintothehouse.
Samwasontherugbeforethecouch,hishandsboundbehindhimwithaplasticcabletie.
Consuelolayinthedoorwaytothekitchen.TherughadsoakedupmostofSam'sbloodbut
in
thekitchenitspreadacrossthelinoleumasfarastherefrigeratorandthecabinet.
Istuffedmyfistinmymouthtokeepfromscreaming.
Therewerefootstepsontheporchoutside,perhapsthedeputyoroneoftheINS
agents
returningaftercheckingtheoutbuildings.
IntheEmptyQuarterItookmyhandoutofmymouthandscreamed.
IjumpedtoLaCrucecita,toAlejandra'sofficeatSignificadoClaro,butshewasn'tthere.I
staredatmywatch,jugglingtimezoneswithdifficulty.Lunchright.
Ijumpedtoherhouse.Notthere,either.Ilookedoutthewindow,towardthehotel.
Mateo,thebellman,wasstridingupthesidewalk,ashoulderbagdanglingfromhis
hand,
asifhe'dsnatcheditup.Hetalkedtoacellphoneinhisotherhand.
Ijumpedtothenextwindowandsawhimjerkhisheadaround,lookingatthehouse.He
wasdefinitelyoneoftheSensitives.
Istartedinthelivingroom,twoquickstepsforward,andjumpedintotheair.
ThesoleofmyfootsmashedintoMateo'schesthardenoughtosendhimflyingbackward,
hisfeetcomingupwaisthighbeforehecrashedtothesidewalk.Isawhisheadbounceand
hiseyesrolledback.
Ibentovertocheckhispulseandheswungatme,weakly.Ikickedhimintheside,then
grabbedhimbyhisshirtandjumpedfivemileseast,tothebeachonIslala
Montosa,andspilledhimhalfinsand,halfinwater.Ipulledhiswalletout.He'ddropped
thephoneand
the
bag,soIwentbackforthem,beforeIreturnedtoAlejandra'soffice.
Shestillwasn'tthereandIwasveryafraidthatthey'dtakenheralready.Iletmyselfoutand
startedaskingquestions:"ilistedhavistoAlejandra?"

88

Shewasn'tatanyofherregularlunchplacesandnoonehadseenher.Therewasaburning
atthebackofmynoseandIwashavingtroubleseeing.They'vealreadygother.ThenIsaw
her,
comingacrosslaPlazaPrincipalfromthedirectionofthechurch,andmyknees
nearly
buckledwiththerelief.
Shetookonelookatmeandherfacewentwhite."Whatisit?"
Ijumpedhertoherhouse,withoutasking,withoutwarning.
Shedroppedtothefloor."NowIknowitisbad."
"Youneedtopack,"Isaid."Whateveryoucareabout."
Sheblinked."Tellme!Whatisit?"
"TheykilledConsueloandSam."
"iMuertos?No!"Bothhandswenttoherfaceandherbreathstartedcominginshort,
convulsivegasps,thensobs.
Andthatbrokeme,too.
Idroppedtomykneesandwrappedmyarmsaroundherandbegansobbingashard,
then
harderthanher.HerarmspulledmeinandIwrenchedaway."No!They'llcome!Youneed
to
pack."
Shetookoneofthekitchentowelsandblewhernosehard."Where?"shemanagedafter
a
moment.
Iopenedmymouthtospeakandthenblinked."NewYorkCity,"Isaidoutloud,butthenI
shookmyheadvigorouslyandpointedatmyearandthenaroundtheroom.She
hadan
erasablewhiteboardmountedononeofthecabinetdoors.Igrabbedthemarkerand
wrote,
"France,"makingsureshesawit,thentookthedishtowelshe'dblownhernose
withand
wipedthewritingofftheboard.
"Whatabouthim?"shesaid,pointingtowardtheHotelVillaBlanca.
"Mateo?Itookhimonatrip.We'vegotsometime,butIdon'tknowhowlong."Ihadno
ideaifMateohadlocalbackupornot.Howwouldtheyhavetakenme,anyway?Ipushed
her
towardherroom."Pack,please!"
I'dstuffedMateo'sphoneinmypocketandItookitout,curious.Therewereseveral
programmednumbersbutmostofthemwereinternational.Twowerelocal,though.One
said
"Tio,"meaning"uncle,"andtheothersaid"Detonar."Deetoner?Iwasconfused,then
realized
thattiowasinSpanish,soIsoundeditout.DayToeNar.
"Alejandro,comosedice'detonar'eningles?"
Shelookedup."Detonate?Explode?"
Oh,shit.
Igrabbedherandjumped.ShestaggeredawayfrommeintheEmptyQuarter,dust
and
underwearswirlingaroundus.
"What?"sheyelled.Shelookedangryandfrightened.

89

Iheldupthephone."ItookthisfromMateo.Look."Istabbedmyfingeratthequickdial
entry:Detonar.
Shereaditandbitherlip."Wedon'tknowwhatthatrefersto."Shebeganscoopingupher
pantiesandbras."Itcouldbeanything."
"Anditcouldmeanoneveryspecificthing."
Sheshookherheadinfrustration."Youhavethephone,though."
"It'sjustaphone.Whoelsehasthatnumber?""Iwantmythings!"
IjumpedustotheHoleandleftthebagandherclothesonthetable.Sheopened
hermouthtoaskbutIsaid,"Thisismyplace.It'sanoldmine.Idetonartheentrysotheonly
wayin
oroutismyway."Mythings?"
Ilickedmylips."Let'sgosee,okay?"
Ittookmeaminute,butIeventuallyrememberedtheroofofthehotelwellenough
to
jump.Thememorywasn'tfromthelasttimeI'dbeenthere,sneakinguponKemp,but
from
oneofthefireworkviewingparties.
IcrouchedattheparapetwithAlejandraandlookedoverthepatioandthe
swimming
poolandthetenniscourtstoherhouse.
"See,"shesaid."Youaretoocautious."
Inearlybrokedown."No.NotanywherenearcautiousenoughorSamandConsuelo"
Shenearlylostit,too."Okay!"Shechoppeddownwithherhand,cuttingmeoff.
"What'syourfirstpriority?"Isaid,pointingtowardthehouse."What'sthemostimportant
thinginthere?"
"Mymother'sjewelry,upontheclosetshelf.Therosewoodbox."
"Andthen?"
"Thephotoalbumsyouknow,inthelivingroom."
Itookadeepbreathandjumpedtoherroom.Theclosetdoorwasalreadyopen
from
before,andIstoodontiptoeandsnaggedthebox.Asitdroppedintomyhand,Ijumped
back.
"Here,"Isaid,pushingtheboxintoherhands.Ipicturedthelivingroomandthenweboth
flinchedattheflashoflightandthehorriblyloud,flatcrackthatshookus,andthenthe
tile
roofofherhouseroseupandscatteredlikeconfettiinsmoke.
Ijumpedherandtheboxawayasthefirstfragmentsbegantofallaroundus.

ChapterTen
TurningtheCorner

Ikilledthem."Alejandrahadbeencryingforaboutahalfhour,lyingonmybed.I'd
triedpattingherback,butIcouldn'tkeepstill.I'dtriedpacing,thenI'djumpedaway,
tothemakiwaraintheEmptyQuarter,andhitthem,hitthem,hitthemuntilmy
knucklessplit,bleeding,andthepainwasfinallyenoughtocutthroughtheotherpain.
Iwassittingbythecavepool,soakingmyhandintheicycoldwater,whenIsaidit.

90

Alejandra,lyingonherside,staringintothedarkcornerofthecave,liftedherhead.
"What?"
"IkilledSamandConsuelo."
I'dtoldherthecircumstancesalreadytheINSandthehelicopterandthephonecalls.The
wayI'dfoundthem.
Alookofunderstandingcameoverherfaceandthatwasmorepainfulthananything.
"IkilledthemlikeIkilledmyparents.LikeIkilledthatpolicemaninSanDiego."My
voicewasragged;mybreathingcutthroughthecavelikeacoarsetoothsaw."Okay,I
didn't
holdtheknives,butImightaswellhave."
Ilookedatherandaway."AndI'veprobablykilledyou."
"Callete!"shesaid."Stopit."
Itookanotherraggedbreathandheldit.Shegotupandcameover."Haycaramba!
What
didyoudotoyourhand?"Shetookitoutofthewater.Thebleedinghadslowed."Didyou
hitsomeone?Mateo?"
"Mateo?Oh,Christ!"Ijumped.
Mateowasn'tontheisland.Itwasafairlyshortswimtothemainland,orhe
could'veflaggeddownoneofthediveboatsandgottenaride.I'dkickedhimpretty
hard,though,and
hisheaddidbangagainstthesidewalk.
Somaybehedrownedinthestrait.
Iresentediteitherway,becauseIreallywantedtohitsomeone.
WhenIappearedbackintheHole,Alejandrasaid,"Neverdothatagain!"Hervoicewas
stridentandIflinched.
"Dowhat?"
Shegesturedsharplyaround."Yousaidthere'snoexit.WhatdoIdowhentheykillyou?"
"I'msorry,"Isaid,butthatphrasewaslikeacanopener."I'msorry!Oh,God,I'msosorry!"
Sheputmeonthebedandheldmewhilethesobswrackedmeoverandover
again.
Sometimesshecried,too;eventuallyweslept.
Shestayedwithmefivedays.WithmeIneverleftherintheHoleifIwasn'tthere,evenif
itwasjustfetchingfoodfromPhuketortheWestEnd.We'dtaketurnswiththesolar
shower
inthejunglenearBahfaChacacual,theotherwaitingdownthehill(thoughIpeekedonce.
Oh.
My.Iwasuncomfortableforhours).
I'dsleeponmyside,awayfromher,awareofhereverymotion.
Onthesixthday,weshoppedHarrodsinKnightsbridgeclothesandluggage.Backinthe
Holewetookthestoretagsoffeverythingandpackedthemawayinthetwobags.Iput
fifty
thousanddollarsinthebottomofhermaincasewithouttellingher.InLondonI'd
already
changedathousanddollarstofrancsatBarclays.
"Don'tflashit,"Isaid.
"No,I'mnottoostupid."
Thecornersofmymouthturneddownandshelaughed."jSoloestababromeando!"
She
pulledmetoherandkissedmyforehead,withoutbending."Ai."

91

WejumpedtoRennesandwaitedforthembutapparentlyitwasn'tthesortofplacethey
weremonitoring.Istartedtobuytheticketforherbutshestoppedme."Sweet,butImust
do
formyselfnow,eh?"
Theclerkdelightedinhelpingherwiththetransactionandcameoutofhisboothtodirect
hertotherightplatformfortheParisexpress.IboughtasouthboundticketforSaint
Nazaire
ontheBayofBiscay.
Ihadthispictureofmestandingontheplatform,watchinghertrainpullaway,but
I
wasn'tpayingenoughattentionwhenIpurchasedmyticketmineleftfirst.Shewalkedme
to
myplatform,heldmeforamoment,hard,asiftotakeanimpressionwithherflesh,
an
indentedmemory.Thenshekissedme,onthemouth,agrownupkissthatbroughtthe
blood
rushing.
"Becarefulsoisprudent!"Andthenshewaswalkingaway,hershoulderbagslung,her
large
suitcasetrailingbehindonitswheels.
IrodethetrainasfarsouthasRedonandjumpedaway,fromthespacebetweenthecars.
ThepaperssaidthehelicopterwasabandonedinMexico,justoverthebordernear
Highway2,theroutetoTijuana.
Therewerenocarsreportedhijackedbuttherewasalsonosignofthefugitives.
Apparentlythepolicetheorywasdrugs.DrugsmugglerskilledtheINSagentsand
Sam
CoultonandConsueloMonJarrazyRomera.AndtheyfledbackintoMexico.
Sam'sfuneralwasinElCentra,Consuelo'sinLaCrucecita.Ididn'tgotoeither.What
couldresultbutmoredeath?
Andnottherightvictims.
ItriedtojumptoPhuket,notmyusualplaceoutonKoBonisland,butanalleynearthe
marketinChalong,butIcouldn'trecallitwellenough.
Ijumpedmydinghytotheislandinsteadandsailedover,and,whenIgotthere,I
spentfifteenminutessketchingthespot.
Myplywoodwallofsketchesbeganhavinganotherpurpose.IfIwantedtoreturn
regularlytoaplace,I'drecordit.Maybephotographswould'veworkedbutwhenyousketch
aplace,youreallylookatit.
AndItriedtosketchMum.ThenDad.Couldn't.
Itwasn'tmemorytheirfaceswereasclearasthedaytheywell,theywereclear.But
Icouldn'tseethroughthetearsandmyhandsshook.It'shardtodrawwhenyourhands
wanttomakefists.
ItwasthesamewithSamandConsuelo,thoughImanagedaheadandshouldersportrait
ofAlejandra.
ItriedanotherdrawingofMateo,asI'dlastseenhim,halfinthewater,halfout,on
the
beachatIslalaMontosa.ThatImanagedwithsomedegreeofaccuracy.
IknewitwasaccurateIhadhisdriver'slicense.Ialsohadhisbag,whichhadhelda
gunanoddgun.
I'dfireditinthedesert,atalimestoneoutcropping,anditputtwospikesintothestone

92

withacabletautbetweenthem.WhenItouchedthecableitshockedtheshitoutof
me,
numbingmyentirearm.
Therewerefivemorecartridgesinthebag,allidentical.Thegunfoldedopenatthe
breech,likeanoldfashionedshotgun.Ifiredonemoreandit,too,shotoutcable
andtwo
spikes.Ididn'ttouchitthistime.IputthebagbackinmyHole.
Itriedtorelax,todonothing,butwhenIdid,Ifoundmyselfwanderingdowntotheend
ofthecaveandturningonthefloodthatlitmyvillains'gallery.Therewereonlyfour
sketches.
Ithoughtthereshouldbemore.
IknewtheywereinLondonthey'dtriedformetwicethere,soIfiguredthatwas
the
placefortheexperiment.Iboughttwocheapvideocamerasandplacedthemontreelimbs
in
thecornerofHydeParkneartheTubestation.Istartedthemrecording,walkedout
inthe
middleofthegreen,andjumpedhometotheHole.
Ireturnedinfiveminutesandleftagain.AttenminutesIreturned,andstayed.
Thereweretwoofthem,youcouldtell,theircarcametoascreechinghaltinthebuslane
onKensingtonRoad.Theyspreadout,onecomingupthemainpathfromQueen
Elizabeth's
Gateandtheotheronecutaroundwest,pasttheBoyandDophinFountain.Theyhadn't
spotted
meyetIwasstandingnexttotheRoseGardenandsoitwasn'tthatobviouswhenI
jumped.
Iwaiteduntilthey'dpassedmycameras,thenjumpedaway,westupthepark
toward
KnightsbridgeStation.Theyshould'vefeltit,Ihoped.
Iwalkedacrossthestreetandintothestation.Afterfiveminutes,awestboundtraincame
throughandIsteppedaboardbutgotoff,nextstop,backatHydePark.
Istrolledbackcasually,myeyesopenforthetwoguysingreenovercoats,butIdidn'tsee
them.Ipickedupthecamerasandthenjumpedaway,fromthesamespotI'dused
before,by
theRoseGarden.
Oneofthemwasblondwitharecedinghairlineandabaldspotinback.Hehadalmostno
eyebrowsandhelookedfamiliar,butonlyvaguely,andIthoughtthatperhapshewasthe
one
whohadattackedmeonthestairsattheElephantandCastleTubestop.
Ifrozethemonthelittletelevisionscreenatvariouspointsandsketchedthem.
Hiscompanionshavedhishead,buthehaddarkstubbleandbushydarkeyebrowsand
ran
tofatkindofjowly.Eitherofthemcould'vebeentheonewho'dtriedatEmbankment
Station,
whenthey'dsnaggedthetwowomeninsteaddidn'tseethemthattime.Theyboth
were
Sensitives.They'dsnappedtheirheadsaroundtheminuteI'djumped.Youcouldseeiton
the
tapeclearly.

93

Mustbeathanklessjobwhenyourquarrycanjustjumpawayinaninstant.
ThenIrememberedthecircumstancesofmyfirstencounter.Maybeit'snotsohard,
when
yourquarryisaninexperiencedchild.Maybetheydidn'thavetohuntadultjumpers.
Maybethe
spenttheirtimekillingnineyearoldsinstead.Oryounger.
Nowthatwouldmakeiteasier.
Ihadnosympathy.
IwasirritatedwiththeLondonpoliceandwithmyselfabit,too.Ishould'vestayed
longerasitwas,thetapeshowedthatwhenIjumped,thetwoguyshaddashedbackto
their
cartospeedupKensingtonafterme.Notonlydidtheynotgettowedorclamped,they
didn't
evengetaticket.
TheirsketcheswentupontheboardasLondonBlondandLondonBaldy,alongwith
PostitsforthecityandnotesaboutwhereI'dseenthem.
Itwasweird,butafterI'ddonethis,IwasabletodrawabriefsketchofSam,
leaning
forward,likehedidontheedgeofhislivingroomcouch.
Huh.
IwantedtoseeAlejandra,verymuch,butI'dinsistedshejustdisappear,onherown,so
I
wouldn'tknow.SoIcouldn'tbetrayheraccidentally.Hopefullyshe'ddiscoveredthatshe
had
enoughmoneytobuyanewidentitythatwasmyhope.
I'dwarnedheraboutusingherownpassporttoldherwhathappenedtomeinPortsmouth.
Shesaidsheunderstood.Shesaidnottoworry.Ipulledoutthebiggun.Itoldher,
"Consuelo
wouldbeveryangrywithyouifyouweretocometoharm."
ItookatrainsouthfromRennes,firsttoBayonne,thenontoHendaye,acrossthe
Rio
BidasoafromSpanishHondarribia.Iskippedtheborder,usingmybinocularstosee
across
theriver,thenjumpingtoawalkwayonthefarbank.
BienvenidoaEspaa.
Thelocalswouldn'tmindmytraveltheyconsideredbothsidesBasquebuttheyprobably
woulddisagreewiththe"WelcometoSpain."Isatintheoldquarterandsketchedthe
wall
andthecastle.Whentheplacehadseepedintomybones,Iwalkedtothetrain
stationand
purchasedaticketforMadridforthenextday.
IjumpedtotheHolefromoneofthenarrowalleys.
IwasexhaustedbutIcouldn'tsleep.IwasthinkingaboutAlejandra.Aftertossingand
turning,Igotupandtookafreshsketchbookovertothetable,turnedthelightson,and
drew
her.
Idrewhernude,asI'dseenherundertheshowerinthejungleaboveBahiaChacacual.
I
sketchedfortwohours.Thememorywasbetterthanthesketch,butitwasstillthe

94

best
drawingI'deverdone.
ThenIwasabletosleep.
ThenextdayItalkedalot,onthetrain,findinginterestingvariationsintheaccent
and
oncegettingintroublewhenusingtaco,whichapparentlymeans"swearword"in
Spain.So
muchforlunch.
Becauseofaserviceproblemonatraininfrontofus,ittooksixhourstogettoMadrid.
WhenIlookedatthemap,itsurprisedmethatittookonlythatlong,butgoingback
tothe
scale,IrealizedSpainwassmallerthanthestateofTexas.
Iwasstillexhausted,though,fromthetravelandthetalkingandthepretendingto
smilethatwasthemosttiring.IjumpedawayassoonasI'dmadeaquicksketchof
the
platformitself,withthecityskylineprominent.
Towhomitmayconcern:
MynameisGriffinO'Conner.IamthechildofRobertandHannahOConner,
murderedonOctober
3rd,19,inSanDiego,Ca.
TheaccompanyingsketchIsofoneofthethreemen(andonewoman)involvedintheir
murder.HewasalsoseeninLaCrucecita,Oaxca,Mexico,onNovember13th,19,and
neartheRussellsquaretubestopinLondon,England,March3rd,200.OnMarch16th,
200,hewasinvolvedwiththe
murderofSamCoultonandConsueloMonJarrazyRomeraandsixINSagentsin
southcentralSanDiegoCounty,California.Hisnameis"Kemp"andhehasapronounced
english(Bristolarea)accent.
Sincerely,GriffinOConnerMarch29th,200
CC:
SanDiegopolicedepartment
FBI,SanDiegofieldoffice
SanDiegoCountySheriff'sDept.NewScotlandYard
IreducedthesketchtohalfapageI'ddrawnafullfaceandprofileviewtogowithitand
putaniceinkythumbprintbesidemysignature,sothey'dbeabletoproveitwasreallyme.
Imadefivecopies,fourtosend,onetoputupontheboard,andpostedthethreein
San
Diego,atthedowntownpostofficeonHortonPlaza,andtheotherinapostboxoutside
the
EppingTubestation,theverylaststopontheCentralline.
IwentbacktoMontSaintMichelatsunrise,jumpingtothecauseway,thensatand
waited.IftheywerewatchingCousinHaroldtheymightfeelmearrive;Idoubtedthey
were.
Butiftheyhadstationedsomeonehere,wellthen,they'dprobablybealongdirectly.
Ijustwantedtoknow.
Iwasn'ttiredI'dbeenshiftingmyoperatingtimemoretoGreenwichzero.Whenyou
wakeupinasealedcave,itdoesn'tmatterwhatthelocalsunlightisdoing.Ididtendto

95

use
theKinko'sinSanDiegoalotbutthatdidn'treallymatter,mostofthemwere
open
twentyfourhoursaday.
Whennoonearriveddesperatelylookingforajumper,Iwalkedtherestofthewayacross
thecausewaytotheisland.
Thetouristbuseshadn'tstartedarrivingyetandtheonesstayinglocallywerestillsnug
in
theirbeds.
Ireceivedanoddlookortwofromthefewlocalswhowereout,buttheyrespondedwith
nodsorsmilestomyunsmiling"bonjour."Iwantedsomethinghottodrink,coffee
preferably,
butthetouristcafesweren'topenyetsoIfoundanookandjumpedtoSanDiego,and
boughta
muffinandaverylargelattefromaStarbucksthatwasabouttoclose,thenwentback.
Theshadowsofthelowmorningsunthrewthestoneworkofthespireintosharprelief
andIusedthat,sketchingthetowerandthespireabovefromthecourtyardoutsidethe
abbey.I
stooduptostretchwhenavoicesaidinbadlyaccentedFrench,"No!Retorner,sivous
plait."
Then,immediately,inAmericanEnglish,"WheredidyougetStarbucks?"
Iturned.Aredheadedteenagedgirlinanenormousblackcoatsatcrossleggedon
the
stonesabouttenfeetbackneartheentranceofthecourtyard,alargeformat
sketchbook
proppedinherlap.Thecoatwastuckedunderherrearandlegs,andshewore
fingerless
glovesandblackrimmedglasses,commeElvisCostello.Shewasolderthanme,but
stilla
student,Isuspected.Shehadn'tsettledintoherbodyyetnotthewayAlejandrahad.
"Whyshouldn'tImove?"Iaskedher,ignoringthequestionaboutthecoffee.
"Youwerepartofthescene.Imean,Iwasn'tgoingtoincludeyoubutthenyou
didn't
moveforthelasttwentyminutessoIdecidedIshouldincludeyouandIreallyliketheway
I
gotyourhairandthedrapeofyourcoatsoyoureallyneedtositbackdown."She
saidthis
veryemphatically,witharushattheendandastabofherforefingeratthebenchwhereI'd
sat.
Iraisedmyeyebrowsandsheaddedwithasuddenlynervoussmile,"Please."
"Verywell,avotreservice,mademoiselle."Isatbackandtookupthesketchpad
again.
"How'sthat?"
"Turnalittlemoretoyourleftthat'sit.Areyoudonesketching?Imean,youcango
onsketchingbutI'mdrawingyouasyouwerelookingupatthespire,thesketchpadinyour
lap,right?"
"I'lljustlookup,thenI'mdonewiththesketch."Icould'veworkedonitmore,butthe
shadowswerevanishingasthesunrosehigher,andpartofdrawingislearningwhento
leave

96

off.
Iwasalittleangrywithmyself.I'dbeensketchingfortwohours,atleast,andthough
I'dbeenvaguelyawareofpeoplecomingandgoing,Ihadn'tbeenpayingattention.Whatif
ithadbeenKemp?
Well,itwasn't.Idrankfromthenowcoldlattebutreturnedtothepose.
"YouneversaidwhereyougottheStarbucks,"shesaid."Ithoughttheyweren'tinFrance."
Iknewthey'dbeeninLondonforayearortwobutreallydidn'tknowaboutFrance."Don't
know.IgotthisoneinSanDiego."Istartedtolookaroundtoseehowshe'dtakethatbut
she
stoppedme.
"BestillI'mworkingonyourears.You'refromtheStates?YousoundlikeaBrit.Longway
tobringapapercup.Whybother?"
"Myparentsmovedaround,"Isaid,answeringthefirstquestion.Idecidedrightthentoget
atravelmug,toavoidthisprobleminthefuture.
"Youhaveverydistinctiveears,"shesaid.
Iblushed."Theystickoutlikethehandlesonasugarbowl."
Thegirllaughed."That's...sweet."
"Ha.Veryfunny."
"Couldn'ttellitbyyou.WellI'mdone.I'llshowyoumineifyoushowmeyours."
Iraisedmyeyebrowsagainandsheblushed.
"Sketches!"
Wesatonthebench.Myfirstimpressionofhercoatwascorrectitbrushedthetopofher
shoesandthesleeveswererolledbackoncesoasnottoswallowherhandsaman's
coat,
large.
Ihandedhermysketchbook,opentothemorning'swork.Sheseemedsurprised,
then
pushedherstowardme.Iguessshe'dmeantitwhenshesaid"show,"not"handle."
Shewasworkingwithcharcoalpencilsandakneadederaseronnicecoarsepaper.
More
impressionisticthanastudy,butshewasrightwithjustafewstrokesshe'dcapturedthe
way
myhairwasstickingupinbackandthewaymyanorakfoldedasthehemrestedonthe
bench.
Thetowerwithitsspireandthecourtyardwallsrosenicely,too;theproportionswere
good
andtheshadingofthemorninglighthittingtheupperspirewasverynice.
Lookingatmineshesaid,"Howmanydayshaveyoubeenworkingonthis?"
"Justthismorning."Ilookedoveratit.Minewasmuchmoreofastudy,more
detailed,
morephotorealistic,lessheart."Iwashereatsunrise."
Shepointedatthesteppedarchesinthelowertowerandthecrenellationswhere
the
slaterooftilesmetthegranite."It'sillustrationqualityImean,I'dwouldn'tbesurprisedat
all
tofinditinanarchitecturemagazineorTheNewYorker."
Myearsthoselargesugarbowlhandleearsburned."Yes,butittookmetwoanda
half
hours."

97

"Thisisthesortofthingthattakessomepeopledays.What'syourname?Iwanttobeable
tosayImetyoubackintheday."
"Ah,well,Griffin.That'smyname."
"Griffin?"Sheheldoutherhand,palmup,asifcoaxingatimidanimaloutofacave.
"GriffinO'Conner."Hell,Isaidit.It'snotasifshe'dbeaskingInterpolaboutme,right?
Sheextendedthehandfarther,takingmine."Nicetameetcha!E.VKelson,Asin
Elaine
VeraKelson,butifyouwantmetoanswer,callmeE.V.,okay?"Shegavemyhanda
firm
shake,thendroppedit."So,whereareyoustaying?We'reattheAubergeSaintPierre."
Shehadn'tgivenmebackmysketchbookandwasnowholdingitupatarm'slength,
comparingitwiththespireitself.
"Iwasstayingwithafriend'scousininPontorson,butI'mleavingtoday."Bothliteraltruths.
Ultimatelyalie.
"Oh?Me,too.WedidParis,nowfivedaysinLondon.Whataboutyou?"
"I'llbegoingbackhome.Uh,whois'we'?"ShelookedatmeblanklyandIclarified,"The
'we'who'restayingattheAubergeSaintPierre."
"Ah,theFrenchClub.TrentonCentralHighSchool,NewJersey.There'seightgirls,two
boys,ourteacher,andfourparentchaperones."
"Ah.Anddotheyknowwhereyouare?"
Sheglancedsidewaysatme."Why?Youplanningonkidnappingme?"
ItiltedmyheadtoonesideasifIwereconsideringit,thenshookmyheadregretfully."I've
gotabagjobatnoon,andtwosnatchandgrabsfortwothirty.Icouldn'tpossiblyfit
youin.
Butthere'salwayscoffee.Ifthatwouldbeallrightwithyourchaperones."
"Well,yes,sortof,theyknowwhereIamthatis,ontheMont,sketching.I'msupposedto
meetthembackbyelevenforcheckout."Shelookedatherwatch."Intwohours.IfIdon't
get
lost."Shestooduppromptly."Coffee.Iknowwherethey'llservecafeaulaitand
croissants.
Founditbyaccidentthenwecanwalkabit,I'mstifffromsitting."
Shetookonelastlookatmysketch,andweexchangedbooks.
E.V.hatedNewJersey,havingmovedtheretheprevioussummerfromupstateNewYork.
Herfatherwasachemicalengineer,hermotheramiddleschoolartteacherwhosejobs
were
alwaysiffyasartfundingwasalwaysthefirstthingcut.E.V.'solderbrother,Patrick,
wasa
freshmanatPrincetonandshehadalargedogofindeterminatebreednamed
Booger.She
wantedtogototheSchoolofVisualArtsinNewYorkCitywhenshegraduatedintwo
years.
Hercurrentboyfriendhadaskedhernottogoonthistripsimplybecauseheneededherto
go
toapartyandhewasnowherexboyfriend."Though,totellthetruth,hewasontheway
out
beforethat.Hethoughtmycartoonswerecuteandhewantedmetodrawhiminthenude."
Ilearnedallthisinthetenminutesbeforewegottothecafe.Overcoffeeshewheedled
outthefactthatIwastravelingaloneandthatmyparentsweredead.
"Oh."Hermouthopenedandclosedasifshewastryingtofindsomethingappropriate

98

to
say.
Ihelduponehand."Missthemterribly.It'sbeensixOh.It'sbeensevenyears.Rathernot
talkaboutitifyoudon'tmind.TellmewhatyousawinParis.Betteryet,"Itapped
hersketchbook,"showme."
Thatworked.AsIhadthesamesketchbookI'dhadinParismyself,wewereevenableto
comparesketchesofthesamesubjects.
ItouchedapictureoftheSeinerunningunderthePontNeufandsaid,"Ilovethewayyou
didthewaterhereneartheliedelaCite.It'salivemineismorelikeasphaltthanwater."
"So,howoftendoyoudrawwater?"
"Notoftenitlookstoomuchlikeasphalt."
"Practice.That'sall.MakethenexttendrawingsyoudobeofwaterandI'llbetyoucatch
thetrickofit.Pinkydeal,"shesaid,holdingoutherlittlefinger.
"Pinkydeal?Whatdoyoumean?"
"Youshakepinkiestosealthedeal."
"Howcanitbeadeal?Whatareyougoingtodo?Foryourpart?"
Shelookedatme,surprised."Oh.Iguessthat'sfair.ButI'mtellingyouwhattodo.
You
shouldmakethematchingcondition."
Ithoughtaboutit."OkayIdrawtenpicturesofwaterandyouletmedrawyouinLondon.
Sunday."
"You'llbeinLondon?"
"Icanbe."
"Drawmehow?"shesaid,hereyesnarrowing,andIrealizedshewasthinkingabout
herexboyfriend.
"Fullyclothed,inpublic,butyou'llhavetolosethecoat.Outside,say,inapark.""We're
stayingattheBestWesternSwissCottagebutIhavenoideawherethatis."
"ProbablyneartheSwissCottageTubestopit'saneighborhoodupCamdenway.
That'sclosetoRegent'sPark.I'llcheckinwithyouSaturdayafternoon."
"Okay.Ithinkwehavetheaterticketssodon'tleaveittoolate,"shesaid.Shetookoffone
fingerlessgloveandextendedherpinky,hookeditaroundmine,andshookitupand
downfirmly.Sheletgoandsaid,"Nowyougoboom."
"What?""Makeafist."
Ididandshecrashedhersintomineandsaid,"Boom.""You'reinsane."
Shenoddedemphatically."Yes."
Phukethasamazingwater,stunningshadesofblueandgreenbothstillandactive.Ididmy
firstsketchesonKoBonisland,movingaroundfromtheleewardsidetothemore
active
waves.IworkedinPrismaticcoloredpencils.IrarelyusedcolorbutIcouldn'tstand
the
thoughtoftryingthattransitionfromdeeperwatertoshallowsandbottomwith
graphite
alone.
Next,ItriedtheThames,butit'sboringinthecityrowafterrowofapartmentswithwater
views.IwentbacktoOxfordanddodgedtouristsuntilIfoundanicespotnear
Magdalen
BridgewhereIsketchedpeoplepuntingthroughtheroundarchways.
IthoughtofgoingbacktoOaxacabutitwastoopainfulsoIspentsometimeatChildren's

99

PoolBeachinLaJolladrawingsealionscomingontothesandorthewavespounding
against
theothersideoftheshelteringbreakwater.
Itwasagrayday,overcast,andtheoceanwaslikethat,too.Graphitepencilfeltrightfor
thiswater.Monochrome.
JustbeforeIleft,IwenttoapublicphoneandcalledtheSanDiegoFBIFieldOffice.
"I'dliketospeakwithwhoeverishandlingtheMarchsixteenthmurderofthesix
INS
agents."
Thewomanwhoansweredthephonesaid,"Andyourname?"
"GriffinO'Conner.Isentsomeinformationlastweek.Bymail."
"Ah.Onemoment,please."
Igotholdmusicforabouttwentyseconds.Iwasgoingtohangupwhenamancameonthe
line.Thebackgroundnoisewasdifferent."Hello?GriffinO'Conner?"
"Yes."
"Ah,good.I'mSpecialAgentProctor.Givemeamomenttheypatchedyouthroughtomy
cellphoneandIdon'twanttocrash."
Thebackgroundnoiselessened."There,I'montheshoulder.Whereareyou?"
"Surelyyourofficealreadytoldyouthephonenumberandlocation."
Proctorwassilentforafewsecondsandthenhechuckled."Well,yes,theydid.Igotyour
letter.Veryinterestingreading."
"Hasitproducedanyresults?"
"Maybe.Alotofquestions,foronething.WhatmakesyouthinkthisKempcharacterwas
involvedinthemurdersatSamCoulton'sranch?"
Ithoughtaboutwhattotellandwhatnotto.Thetruth,Idecided,ormostofit.Theonly
peoplethetruthwouldhurtwerealreadydead.
OrpeopleIwishedweredead.
"Kemptalkedtomefromthere.Byphone.Hetoldmetocomethereorhe'dkillSamand
Consuelo.Iwasafraid,soIcalledtheINSandthesheriff.Andyes,"Iaddedstridently,"I
lied
totheINSabouttherebeingabunchofillegalsthere,butIthoughtthemorepeople,the
less
chanceofanyonegetting"Itookadeepbreath."Ilied."
"AndthisKempwastherewhenyourparentswerekilled?"
"Definitely."
"What'sthecommonthreadhere,Griffin?WhatdoesKempwant?"
"Me.I'mthecommonthread.Kempwantsmehewantsmedead."
"Why?Hecould'vekilledyouatyourparents',right?"
"Hetried.Igotaway.I'vegotthescars."
"Again,why?What'sthemotive?"
Ishookmyhead.Istilldidn'tknowithadtohavesomethingtodowiththejumping."I
don'treallyknowwhy."Apartialtruth.
Proctorcontinued,"AndwheredoSamandConsuelocomein?Weretheyfriendsofyour
family?'CauseI'mnotfindinganyrecordofthat."
"No.TheyfoundmeinthedesertafterIgotaway.Iwasamessandtheytookcareofme
untilIwasbetter.Later,IwentandstayedwithConsuelo'snieceinMexico,inthe
stateof
Oaxaca.Herhousewasblownuptwoweeksago."Ipaused."Youknewthat,right?"
Proctorexhaled."Yeah.ThatIknow.Itwastooclosetothemurders,theniece'shomeand

100

allthat.Nobodiesfound."
"Theymissed.Itwasclose."
"Wereyouthere?Thereweren'tanycallsfromMexicothatday,totheranch."
"Ah,phonerecords.MinewouldbethecallfromthepayphoneinElCentra."Itoldhima
halftruth."Alejandrawasalmostkilledintheexplosion."
"That'stheniece?"
"Yes.AlejandraLosada."
"Whereisshenow?"
"Inhiding."Ihoped.Ifrowned."Youhaven'tonceaskedmetocometalktoyou!Yousent
people,didn'tyou?"
Proctorpaused,thensaid,"It'sforyourprotec"
Ihungup.OutonCoastBoulevard,twoblackandwhiteSDPDcarshadstoppedbehind
alltheparkedcarsandfourofficersweregettingout.
Iwentdownthestairspastthesealobservationdeck,movingbriskly,dodgingthetourists,
andheadedoutontothebreakwater.Itwaswindyandcoldandtherewereonlyafew
people
bravingtheseaspraythatregularlyshotthroughtherailing.
Thepolicefollowedslowly.Itwasadeadend,afterall.
Ireachedtheend,putonehandontherail,andlaunchedmyselfover.Itwasrocksandsurf
perhapstwelvefeetbelowandIheardsomeoneshoutfrombehind,andthenIwas
trembling
intheHole.
TheBestWesternSwissCottagewas,oddlyenough,bytheSwissCottageStationon
the
Jubileeline,onlyamilenorthwestofthezoo.
IcaughtE.V.inthehalfhourbeforehergroupwastogotodinnerandarestaging
of
Candide.Icalledherfromthehousephoneinthelobby.
"So,it'sapinkydealpromise,right?Areweon?"
"Griffin?Ha!Itoldthemwehadadateandtheysaidyouwerejustputtingmeon.Didyou
keepyourendofthedeal?"
"Youdecide.IleftyouapacketatthefrontdeskbeforeIrangyouup."
Shegasped."Areyouhere?Atthehotel?"
"Foraminute.I'mofftohavePakistanifoodintheWestEnd.Teno'clockallright?"
"Yes,butI'vegottobringachaperone."Shesaiditlikeitwasamortalillness,likeI'vegot
leukemia.
Well,that'ssensible.Youcan'texpectthemtoletyougooffwithrandomstrangers.
I
mean,whatdotheytellyourparents?'Lethergooffwithastrangeboyandshedidn't
come
back.Terriblysorry.'"
Shelaughed."Icouldcomedownwe'reonthethird,no,secondfloor,right?Ground,first,
second?"
"Shouldn'tyoubegettingreadyfordinner?"
"Well,waitforme.Theymadeusalldressupandsomebodyshouldseeit.It'svery
rare
forme.Mymomboughtthisdressspecificallyforthetrip."
Ismiled."Allright,then.I'llwaitdownhere."
Theentiregroup,allfifteenofthem,spilleddownthestairsandthelifts.E.V.waswearing

101

hergiganticblackcoatbutunbuttonedandshespreaditwidetoshowmeablack
velvet
squareneckedgownthatmoreorlessmoldeditselftoher.Ihadtolistentoa
bunchof
introductionswhiletryingveryhardnottostareatE.V.'sbody.Shewasmore,uh,mature
than
I'drealized,underthatblackcoat.Shestillworeherglassesbuthershortredhairhad
been
moussedintospikes.
Iwaspolitetotheadultsandcomplimentedthewomen,youngandold,ontheirdresses.
Atthelastminute,E.V.'steacher,MadameBreskin,said,"Wehaveadinner
reservationfor
fifteenbutIwouldn'tbesurprisedatalliftheycouldsqueezeyouin,too."
"That'sverykind,"Isaid,"butI'mnotreallydressedforit.Perhapsanothertime."I
offered
myhandtoE.V."Takealookatthesketches.Iexpectascathingcritiquetomorrow.
Ten
o'clock,inthelobby?"
ShesmiledandIcouldseeherabouttosaysomething,butthenhereyesdartedsidewaysat
thegirlsaroundher,andshejustnoddedfirmly.
ItwasstillbusinesshoursinSanDiegoandIdecidedtogiveProctoranothertry,thistime
fromabankofpayphonesinsideHortonPlazaMall.
"PleasegivemeAgentProctor'smobilephonenumber,"Isaid,whenthereceptionist
answeredthephone.Thewomansaid,"He'sintheofficethismorning,mayIconnectyou?"
"Allright."
Proctoransweredonthethirdring.
"LasttimeIansweredyourquestions.Nowit'syourturn."
"Griffin?Areyouallright?Theysworeyoumust'vedrowned!"
Iignoredthat."DidyoufindanytraceofKemp?"
"Maybe."Proctorpaused."Whatifyou'reworkingwithhim?"
"Givemeaneffingbreak.Whogaveyouhiminthefirstplace?"
"Wedon'tdisclosethedetailsofourinvestigations."
"Goodbye,then."
"No,wait!"
"Givemeareason."
"Wecanprotectyou."
"Thatscaresmemorethanyoucanimagine.Givemearealreason.Hasmysketch
helped?"
"Itoldyou"
Ihungupandwalkedawayfromthebankofphones,wentovertothefoodcourt
and
boughtagyrosandwich,thenjumpedawayfromtheantechamberoutsidetherestrooms.
Ididlaundry,inanticipation,washedextrahard,thickcoatofdeodorant,andbrushed
my
teeththoroughly.Twice.Shecalleditadate!
Itooksomedeepbreathsandtoldmyselftocalmdown.It'snotasifyou'llbealone.
Andwestartedoutwiththeentiregroup,walkingtoRegent'sPark,butitturnedoutthat
themajorityweregoingtothezooandonlyMadameBreskinwouldbetaggingalongwith
us,

102

"ifyoudon'twalktoofast.Twoweeksoftouringandmyfeetareswelling."Shetappeda
book
underheroppositearm."Sittingismygoal."
Whenwehitthepark,therestofthegroupwentwestontheOuterCircle,headedforthe
zoo.Wemeandereddownthroughthemiddleandendedupontheedgeofthelake,with
early
rowersandtheducks,abenchforMadameBreskin,andusonthegreen,closertothe
water.
Thecritiquewasthoroughbutnotscathing,withexamplesgivenonthespot,in
pencil,usingtheboatinglakeandthereflectionsofthetrees.
Shelikedmywork,though."Didn'texpectyoutoworkfrommemorysomuch.It'sreally
coolthatyou'vebeenalltheseplacesandyourememberthemsowell."
WhatcouldIsay?AfteranawkwardpauseItappedtheOxforddrawings."Iwasdrawing
thisintheflesh.Nomemoryinvolved."
"Well,IreallylovethesepencilsyoudidoftheBahamas."
"Uh,nothat'sThailand,nearPhuket.Guesstheyareabitsimilar,butI'veneverbeento
the
Bahamas.ButinDr.NoandThunderballIguessit'ssimilar."
"Well,areyougoingtosketchme?"
"Yes."Imovedaroundabit,consideringheragainsttheavailablebackgrounds."Here."
I
settleddownandtookmysketchbookback."Withthegolddomeofthemosquein
the
distance.Whydon'tyousitonyourcoat?"
Thedayhadstartedoutgray,withwetpavements,andI'dbeenafraiditwouldrain,butthe
sunandtheLondonersnowfloodedthepark.Sheshruggedthecoatoffher
shoulders,
revealingatightgreensweaterwiththreequartersleevesandaplungingneckline.I
feltmy
cheeksheatup.
Andtoldmyselfnottostare.Well,notparticularly.
"Comfortable?"
Shefoldedherlegsandleanedtotheside,proppedupbyoneelbow."I'mset."
MadameBreskincheckedonusonce,sawthattheworkwasstillinprogress,andwentoff
tofetchhotchocolatefromtheconcessionaires.Thecloudswerecomingbackagain
when
E.V.said,"NowI'mgettingcold.Sinceyou'renotdrinkingit,canIhavesomeofyour
hot
chocolate?"
Ilookeddown,surprised.Ihadn'ttouchedit.Ihandedittoher."I'msorry,it'sstonecold."I
closedthesketchbookandstartedtostand,tohelpherrise,butmylegwasasleepfrom
the
hipdownandIfellover.Asthebloodstartedbackin,Inearlyscreamed.
Sheappearedoverme,alarmed."Youokay?"
"Leg'sasleep,"Isaidthroughclenchedteeth."Whydon'tyoutoddleoffandsuggest
luncheontovotreprofesseur,bien?"
BythetimeshereturnedwithMadameBreskin,Iwasonmyfeet,limpingaroundin
a
circle.

103

ThethreeofuswenttoalittleIndianplaceinMarylebone,thoughIhadto
promise
MadameBreskinthatwe'dreturntothehotelviataxi.Inabooth,sheandE.V.mademe
show
themthedrawing.Iwincedinwardlyandpusheditover,watchingtheirheadsbendtogether
as
theylooked.
"Oh,"saidE.V.Onehandreachedtothenecklineofhersweaterandtuggeditup
higher.
"You...flatterer."
"My,"saidMadameBreskin."Ithoughtyouweretakingyourtimebutyouaccomplisheda
greatdealmorethanIexpected."
Almostconvulsively,E.V.said,"Lookwhathe'sdone,though.Ineverlookedlikethat.This
girlis...sensual."Shecoveredhermouthanddartedhereyessidewaysatherteacher.
MadameBreskintiltedherhead."Yes,Isuppose.Weallare,attimes.Ifanythinghe'sbeen
moreobjectivethanidealistic.Sometimeswedon'tseewhatothers...voird'uncoup
d'ceil."
"Madame?"saidE.V,preoccupied,stillstaringatthedrawing.
MadameBreskinwasregardingmeandItranslated,"Seeataglance."
E.V.lookedconfusedbutthewaitercamejustthenandIwasrelievedandE.V.wasclearly
relievedandMadameBreskinwasclearlyamused.
Later,inthelobbyofthehotel,E.V.askedquietly,"I'dlikeacopy,ifyoucouldXeroxit."
"Youcanhaveit,whenI'mdone.I'vejuststartedonthebackground.I'mnotsatisfiedatall
withthelightonthemosqueandtheducks,andthewaterthatgoeswithoutsaying."
Shepanicked."We'releavinginthemorning!Youwon'thavetime."
"Imeant,whenyougetback.ToTrenton."Ifoldedbackthecoverofthesketchbookand
pointedattheblankcardboard."Youraddressandphonenumber."Iputadrawing
pencilin
herhand."Please?"
"Oh.Mail."Shewrotethelinesneatly,elegantly."Ofcourse."
Ishrugged.
Shesaid,"Andyouraddress?"
"Postis...difficultwhereIliveandI'mnotonthephone.ButI'llbeintouch."
MadameBreskinwasgivingussomespace.Shesatinanelegantlionfootedchairbythe
liftsandpretendedtolookatherbook.
Ituckedthesketchbookundermyarmandheldoutmyhand."Bonvoyage,Mademoiselle
Kelson."
Shetookmyhandandsaid,"Ahandshake?Screwthat."ShepulledandIstepped
closer.
ThesweaterwasassoftasI'ddrawnit,butthelipswere,ifanything,softer.
"Oh!"shesaid."Youcansmile."
Ihadtopickupthesketchbook,after,andthedoormansteeredmegentlyoutontothewet
pavementpastthedoorframeafterI'dcollidedwithitonce.
Itwasraining,coldandnasty,butIdidn'treallycare.

ChapterEleven
GoingfortheKidney

104

IwasreallytemptedtoshowupattheairportthenextdayandsurpriseherbutI
didn'tknowwhethertheywereleavingfromGatwickorHeathroworevenwhat
airline.Imustadmitthephrase"leavethemwantingmore"wentthroughmyheadbutI
would'vegoneinan
instantifIjustknewwhereandwhen.
Iwastheonewantingmore.
IspenttwomorehoursinRegent'sPark,finishingupthebackground.Ididverylittle
to
herfigurejustsomeblendinganddarkeningofheroutlinesoshestoodoutfrom
the
background.Thelaceedgeofabrahadshownashernecklinedraped,duetogravity,
andI'd
drawnitfaithfully,butnowitdrewme,myeyesreturningtoit,tohereyes,toherlips.
ItookthedrawingtoaKinko'sandusedtheirlargestformatmachinetoproducea
doubledsizedcopyonartstock.ThenIwenttoaspecialtyartshoptohavethe
original
mattedandframed."Yourwork?"saidtheclerk,handlingitcarefullybytheedges.
"You
haven'tsignedit.Youwantmetosprayitwithfixative?"
Selfconsciously,Isignedit,firstnameonly.BelowIput"Regent'sPark"andthedatewe'd
satthere.ThenhetookitinthebackandgaveitaspritzwithacanofLascaux.
"Youwantitboxed,too?"
"Yes,please."
"Forshippingorhandcarry?"
"HandcarryI'mgoingtodeliverit."
Thetroublewas,Ididn'treallyrecalltheEastCoast.We'dbeentherewhenIwas
very
young,butIjustdidn'tremember.IboughtanAmtraktrainticketfortheSouthwest
Chief,
leavingLosAngelesinthreedaysandarrivinginChicagofortytwohourslater."We've
got
someroomsavailable,"theclerksaid.
Inodded."Surethatsoundsgood."
Shelookedatme,theyoungteenofindeterminateage,andsaid,"Itisexpensive.I
mean,
theticketisalmosteighthundreddollarsmorewitharoom."
Ibegancountingouthundreddollarbillsandshesaid,"Verywell.Roomorroomette?The
roomettesdon'thavetheirownshowersandtoilets,butthey'renotasexpensive."
IntheendIpaidapremiumfortheroomandthenagain,ontheLakeshoreLimited,forthe
ChicagoNewYorkrun,withatwentyfourhourgapinbetween.
Iwasn'tgoinganywherenearairportsplaceswheretheywantedID.ThenameIhadthem
putontheticketwasPaulMacLand,thatbastardPaullyfrommyoldkarateclass.
IgaveSpecialAgentProctoronemorechance,againcatchinghimathisdesk.
"Onelastchance,"ItoldhimfromapayphonenearBalboaPark."Youwantmy
cooperationornot?"
Hemadeaslightconcession."I'llansweryourquestionsfacetoface.Notoverthe
phone."

105

"Where?"Iseriouslyconsideredit.Afterall,itwasn'tasifhecouldholdme.
"Hereinmyoffice."
"Buggerthat!"Ibitmylip."Imightconsidersomeplaceelse.BalboaPark,perhaps?
You
couldbethereintenminutes,right?"
"Maybe."
"You'dhavetocomealone."
"What,aloneandunarmed?"Youcouldcutthescornwithaknife.
"Bringasmanygunsasyouwant.Justbealone."Pause."I'vegotacallscheduled.
How
aboutfortyfiveminutes?"
Hewasstalling."Takeitonyourcellonthewayhere.""It'sthedeputydirector.Ican't.""I
didmentionthatthisisyourlastchance,right?""ButIreallycan't!MaybeIcouldcutit
down
tothirt"Icuthimoff."Iwon'tbecallingagain."Andhungup.
ThenextmorningIjumpedtoUniversalStudiosinL.A.,aplaceI'dbeenwithMumand
Dad.Sawtheshark.Ileftimmediately,overwhelmedbythememories.
Whyshouldhappymemorieshurtmorethantheimagesinmyheadfromthatnight?
IcaughtthebrandnewRedLineextensionatHollywoodandVineandrodeitalltheway
toUnionStation.Mytraindidn'tleaveuntilthenextevening,butIwantedajump
site.I
sketchedthefunkyMissionstyleclocktowerfromoutside.
BackinSanDiegoIcalledthesheriff'sdepartmentfromanofficephoneinthe
county
courthouse.Theofficewasemptyforlunchandthedoorwaslockedbutitwasglass
andI
couldseethroughit.TheCentralInvestigationsDivisionatthemainofficegavemea
cell
phonenumber."DetectiveVigiliscoordinatingwiththefederalauthorities."Sheused
the
Spanishpronunciation,Veehill.
Itriedthenumberandafterfiveringsavoicesaid,"BobVigil."
"MynameisGriffinO'Conner,Detective.Isentasketchtoyourdepartment."
Therewasasharpintakeofbreath."Really.That'sodd.TheFedsseemtothinkyou're
in
Europe."
Huh.TheU.K.ImmigrationServicewastalkingtotheFBI?MaybethroughNewScotland
Yard?"YougotcallerID?"
"Yeah.Iseeyou'relocalrightnow."
"Anyluckwiththesketch?Wasithelpful?"
"Shit,yes!ThecarrentalcompanyID'dhim,theguywhosecartheystoleinMexicoID'd
him.TheAztecaAirlinesclerkatRodriguezID'dhim."
"Rodriguez?Where'sthat?"
"Tijuana,"saidVigil."GeneralAbelardoL.RodriguezInternationalAirport."
"Where'dhefly?"
"Theydon'tknow.Shedoesn'trememberandtheIDheusedapparentlywasn'tfor'Kemp.'
Thatnamewasn'tonanyoftheirmanifests.Flightsleftforseveralcitiesbothinand
outof
Mexico.TheFBIaretryingforsecurityvideoonthedepartingflightsinTijuanaand

106

arriving
flightsatthepossiblecities."
"DoesSpecialAgentProctorattheSanDiegoFBIofficeknowthis?"
"That'swhotoldme."
Bastard.
Vigilcontinued,"WesurmisethatSamdidn'thaveaphonenumberforyouthat'swhythe
perp'scampedoutthere,right?"
"Campedout?AtSam'splace?"
"Yeahtheywerethereagoodweek.Ittiesintothecarrentalandtheamountoftrashthey
generated.ItakeitthatSamcouldn'tjustcallyou."
Iwinced."Uh,no.Icalledhim.I'msemiregular,but"God.They'dheldSamandConsuelo
foranentireweekwaitingformetocall?Ifeltlikethrowingup.IwantedtoracetoParis
and
searchuntilIfoundAlejandra,toprotecther.
You'djustleadthemtoher.
Vigilinterpretedmysilence."Youseeit,eh?"
Mybreathingdeepened."Yes!"
Hewastactfullyquietforamoment.
AftermybreathingcalmedIsaid,"Anybodyelse?Haveyoufiguredhowmanytherewere?"
"Paolosawfour.He'stheguywhowascarjackedonHighwayTwo.Wehavesome
picturesofthem,fromthecameraattherentalplace.Youcouldtakealookandseeif
you
recognizethem."
"DoyouhaveKempinthoseshots?"
"No.Accordingtotherentalagenthestayedoutside.Oneoftheseotherguystookcareof
thepaperwork."
IsupposehecouldbeoneoftheguysI'dencounteredintheLondonTube,ortheBigMan
inOaxaca.Mytrainwasn'tgoingtoleaveforanothertwentysixhours."IguessIcould
come
look.Whereareyou?"
"I'matLemonGrovesubstation.Yournumberlookslikeitsdowntown,yes?"
"I'matthecountycourthouse."
"I'mgoingtothemainoffice.Icouldmeetyousomeplaceclosertodowntown."
Well,hehadansweredmyquestions,unlikeProctor,andIwantedtoseethepicturesthe
otherfaces.
"Okay.ThemainlibraryonEStreet."
"Right.Takemetwentyfiveminutes,okay?Justinside?"
"Sure.Areyouinuniform?"
"No.I'llhavearedfolderwiththepicturesI'llwaveit.I'mHispanic,abouttwohundred
pounds,andI'vegotonabrownsuit,notie.Cleanshaven.Well,Iwasthismorning."
"Right."
Ijumpedtothelittlestaffparkinglotbehindthecentralbranchlibraryandwalkedaround
tothefront.ForamomentIstoodunderthecoveredentrancewayonthesidewalk,
looking
around,butitwasjustabusySanDiegoweekday.Iwentinsideandfoundaplace
whereI
couldwatchthedoorfrombehindacircularbookdisplayrackandleanagainstawall.
Lotsofpeoplemovedinandoutthroughthedoorsinthenextthirtyminutes.Finally,
as

107

advertised,amaninabrownsuitcamein,athickredfilefolderinhishand.Hewasholding
it
infrontofhimchesthigh.
Ipushedoffthewallandwenttomeethim.AsIpassedthereferencebooksIheardastep
andtwistedtomylefttoseeamanlungeoutfrombetweentheshelves.Something
flashedin
hishandandIfeltapressureonmybackribs,thenexcruciatingpain.Hishand,andthe
flashing
metal,camebackforanotherstroke,towardmystomach,andIwasgone.
IstaggeredacrosstheunevenflooroftheHoleandfelltooneknee.WhenItriedto
lift
mylefthandtofeelbackthere,Iscreamed,anddroppeditagain.Wheremyarmrested
against
myleg,Icouldfeeltheclothwassoaked.Icouldn'teventwisttolookdownbutItilted
my
handandsawbloodonthefingers.
Ineededadoctor,urgently,beforeIbledtodeath,butIalsoneededtoavoidtheplacesI
frequented.GoingtohospitalinLondoncouldbequicklyfatal.DefinitelyinSanDiego,too,
or
theclinicIknewinLaCrucecita.Imanagedtostandthoughtheeffortcausedmy
sightto
darkenandtheroomtospin.Ifoundmyselfstaringatmysketches,pinnedtothe
sheetsof
plywood.
There.
ItwasearlyeveninginHondarribia,buttheoldquarterwaswelllit,andwhenIsprawled
facedownonthepavement,theredmessonthebackofmypaleshirtapparently
stoodout
verywell,forthelastthingIheardwasawomanscreamingandaman'svoicesaying,
"Porla
sangredeCristo!"
Indeed.
Iwokeuplyingonmystomach,myheadtiltedtooneside.Mybackdidn'thurtasmuch
butsomeonewastuggingonit.Istartedtoshiftandahandpresseddownonmy
shoulder.A
man'svoicesaid,"Notemuevas!lEntiendes?"
Isettledbackdown."Entiendo."AfteraminuteIaskedwhereIwas."Dondeestoy?"
"Miclinica.SoyeldoctorUriarte.Elpoliciatetrajo."Thepolicebroughtme,eh?I
thought
aboutwhatwasinmypockets.Justmoney.Englishpounds,somefrancs,someU.S.
dollars.
Maybeanarteraser.NoIDnotsincemypassporthadbeenconfiscatedbyUKImmigration.
"Treintanuevepuntadas,"Dr.Uriarteannounced."Portodo."
Thirtyninestitches.He'dobviouslynumbeditbutmyimaginationmadeititchand
ache
andtingleallatonce.Hedressedit.
Hehelpedmetosit.Iwasnaked.Myshirt,pants,underwear,myshoes,mysocks,wereall
inacorner,inabloodypileevenmyshoeshadbloodonthem.IhadanIVinmyleft
arm,

108

someclearfluidrunningdownthetube.Theroomspunandhekepthishandsonmy
shoulders
untilIsaid,"Bien."
Heputadressingonandfasteneditbytapingallthewayaroundmyribs,watching
me
carefullytomakesureIdidn'tfallover,"Ustedrecuerdaseratacado?"
Well,yes,IdidrememberbeingattackedbutIshookmyhead."No.Sucediomuyrapido."It
happenedtoofast.
Hetookaplasticbagfromthefarcounterandstartedtohandittome."Tengasu
dinero
areyouAmerican?"He'dnoticedthedollars.HisEnglishwasthicklyaccentedbut
colloquial.
"British,"Isaid.
"Oh.YourSpanishsoundslikeMexico."
Inodded."Yeahthat'swhereIlearnedit."
"IwenttoschoolinTexas,"hesaid."BaylorMedicalSchool."
"Ah.I'velivedinCalifornia.I'malittlecold,Doctor."
"Oh,forgiveme."Hepulledacabinetopenandtookoutanexaminationrobe."I'ma
pediatrician.MyclinicisnearwhereyouweremuggedandIlivenexttoit.I'mafraidIstitch
upalotofthelocalbarfighters."HetookouttheIVandhelpedmeputontherobe.
"What
hotelareyoustayingat?"
"None.Onlyjustarrived."
"Oh,sotheystoleyourpassport.Iwashopingitwasatyourhotel."
Ishookmyhead.
"ThenearestBritishconsulisinBilbao.Ithinktheycanissueemergencypassports."
Inodded.
"YouneedtobeverycarefulIstitchedtogetherthreedifferentlayersofmuscle.No
exerciseforfourweeks,andthensomephysiotherapy."Hepursedhislips."Itcould've
been
muchworse.Ithinktheyweregoingforyourkidney.Youwould'vediedwithinminutes."
Irememberedtwistingaroundathismovement.Yeah,hemissed.Butifhehadn't,it
wouldn'tmatterhowfastI'djumped?"Iwould'vebledtodeath?"
"Oh,yes.Therenalarteryisverybig.Onlyimmediateattentioninatraumacenter
couldhavesavedyou.Yourattackermust'vebeenaverydesperateman."
Iblinked."I'mnotfeelingmuch."
"Oh,youwill.You'llneedsomethingforthepain.I'llwriteyouascript."
"Andthestitches?"
"Tendays.Theinternaloneswilldissolvedon'tworryaboutthem."
"Okay."
"Ifthereisrednessordischargeorswelling,gettoahospital."
"Okay.HowmuchdoIoweyou?"
"Youdon'thaveinsurance?"
"No."
Hetoldmehowmuchhewould'vebeenchargedagainstaninsurancecompanyandIgave
himthatandhalfagainintheU.S.dollars.
"Thepolicearewaitingtotalktoyou."
"Ofcourse,"Isaid.
Iaskedtousehisbathroomanddidn'tcomeout.

109

Atfirst,Isleptwell,butthelidocainefadedandpainbroughtmeawake,ashoutof
pain
echoingoffthewallsoftheHole.ItwasagonytoputaTshirton.Merelypainfultopull
on
someshorts.
IjumpedtoafarmadainLaCrucecita.Ididn'tcareifthebastardsdetectedthejumpyou
don'tneedprescriptionstogetpainmedicationinMexico.Iexplainedmyproblemto
the
pharmacist,evenstartedtoliftmyshirttoshowthedressing,butraisingmyleftarmwas
not
inthecards.
Thepharmacistlookedalarmedatmyexpressionandgesturedformetoputtheshirtback
down."Treintenuevepuntadas?"Thenumberofstitchesreallyimpressedhim.
"Verdad."
HesoldmeabottleofTylenolwithcodeine.IjumpedbacktotheHolebeforeIwas
throughthedoor.
Iwasn'tabletogetbacktosleepbuttheachediedtoadullthrobbing.Idressedcarefully
andshoppedfornewshoes,firstinSanDiego,theninRennes.Hadtolettheclerktiethem
for
me.AtsixthateveningIcarefullyboardedtheSouthwestChiefatLosAngeles'Union
Station,
lettheconductorshowmetomyexpensivelyexclusiveroom,and,withtheaidofthe
pills,
sleptfitfullyonmyrightside.
Myplanhadbeentosketchateverystopalongtheway,butthedrugsknockedme
(and
thatplan)onitsass.Ididmanageafewdrawingsoutthestateroomwindowatthe
stationsin
Kingman,Flagstaff,andWinslow.InNewMexicoIgotAlbuquerque,Lamy,andRaton,
butI
doubleduponthepillsafterthatandsleptallthewaythroughColoradoandmostof
Kansas,
wakingupintimetosketchLawrenceandKansasCity.Therewasonlyoneother
stopin
Missouri,LaPlata,andonlyoneinthecornerofIowabeforewebegancrossingIllinois.I
gave
updrawing.Everythinghurttoomuchandthepillsweremakingmeconstipated.
ThelastfivehoursintoChicagoweremiseryencasedinafuzzydrugfog.IstankI
hadn't
trustedmyabilitytokeepthestitchesdryandjustwashingmyarmpitswas
surprisingly
difficult.I'dbeenbumpedbyotherpassengersseveraltimesasItotteredalongthe
passageway
tothediningcar.
AndI'dbeenthinking.
He'dtoldthem.InvestigatorVigilhadtoldthemI'dbeatthelibrary.They'dbeenwaiting.
They'deithergottenthereaheadofmeorcomeinadifferententrance,
possibly
circumventingtheemergencyexitalarms.

110

ButVigilhadtoldthem.
Bastard.
Icheckedintoahotelnearthestation,payinginadvance.IexplainedthatI'dbeenmugged
andthatwaswhyIdidn'thaveanyID.Lookingatmyfaceinthemirrorlater,Ilooked
olderthanIremembered.Iwasolder,buttherealchangestemmedfromthepain.
MaybetheythoughtIwasovereighteenormaybetheyjustfeltsorryforme.
Iusedthebathtub,gratefully,leavingmyleftarmdown,thewatershallow.Imanaged
to
getridofthestinkandevenwashmyhairabit.Thebedwassofterthanminebackinthe
Hole,
butevenwiththedrugs,everynoisebroughtmeawakewithanadrenalinerush.
Finally,I
turnedonthelights,gotagoodlookattheroom,andjumpedbacktotheHole,where,
harder
bedornot,Iactuallysleptforsixhours.
ThatwaswhenIturnedthecorner,Ithink.
Ithurtthenextmorningbutnotsobad.Itwasmanageable.
Ididn'ttakeapill,andbythetimeI'dfinishedbreakfastbackintheChicagohotel,
the
druginducedhazewaslifting.
TheLakeshoreLimitedleftat7:55P.M.andarrivedatPennStationmidafternoonthe
next
day.I'dsleptbetterthanIhadsincetheattackandassoonasIwasoffthetrainIboughta
New
JerseyTransitticketforTrenton.WhileIwaitedforthe5:01train,Idrewanook
underthe
SeventhAvenuesteps.Thetrainwasridiculouslycrowded,butthenitwasrushhour.Ithurt
to
sit,anyway,soIfoundacornerwhereIcouldpropmyselfwithoutleaningagainstthe
stitches.
Thetripwasjustoveranhour.
Trentonwaswet,lightrain.
TheconcessionairehadaTrentonmap.TrentonCentralHighSchool,whereE.V.went,
wasaboutahalfmilefromthestationandheraddress,onEuclidAvenue,wasevencloser.
Butitwasrainingandanhourstandingonthetrainhadwipedmelikeablackboard.
I
sketchedaspotonPlatformID,completewithscurryingcommuters,andjumpedbackto
the
Hole.
Tendaysaftertheattack,IwentbacktoDr.Uriarte,waitingwithmothersandtheirsick
kidsinhispediatricwaitingroom.
Heblinkedwhenhesawme,puzzled,andthenheremembered.";Esusted!Wheredidyou
go?"Helookedaroundattheinterestedaudienceandwavedmebacktohisexamining
rooms.
Severalwomenwho'dbeentherebeforemelookedmurderous.
Whenhe'dclosedthedoortotheexaminingroomhesaid,"Thepolicewerevery
upset
withme.TheysaidIwaslyingwhenItoldthemyou'dleft,naked."
"Lamentomucho.Ididn'tmeanforthemtobotheryou.Ineedmystitchesout,but

111

ifit
wouldcausetrouble,Icouldfindsomeplaceelse.I'llpaycash."
Heconsideredit."Ofcoursewe'lltakeoutyourstitches.Theydidn'tsaytocallif
you
cameback."
"Ah.Muchasgracias."
Hehadoneofhisnursespullthemwhilehedealtwithsomeoftheotherpatients
and
theirangrymothers,buthecamebackandexaminedthecutwhenshewasdone.
"Excellent.
Therewillalwaysbeascar.Aline,butIthinkyouwon'thaveanyfunctionaldamage."
Ipaidhimtwicewhathesaidtheamountwas.
IcalledonaFridaynight,fromPennStation.Shewasn'tathomebuthermothertoldme
she'dbebackbytenandshewas,snatchingupthephonewhenitrangat10:05P.M.
"Hello?"
"Hello,E.V.,it's"
Sheinterrupted."Itisyou.I'vebeenwaitingalmostanhour!Mymothercould'vecalled
meIwasjustdowntheblockatRhonda's!Shedidn'trealizeithadtobeanoverseascall!"
"Well,no.Actuallynot.I'minNewYorkCity."
Shewasquietforasecondthensaid,"Really?"
"Really.IwaswonderingifIcoulddropoffthatsketch,tomorrow,perhaps,ifyour
scheduleisclear."
Shelaughed."Clear.Mother?Ismy'schedule'cleartomorrow?"ShesaiditBritish,like
I
had,"shedyoul.""Ofcoursemyscheduleisclear."Thistimeshesaiditwiththe
hardc.
"Where?When?ShouldItakeatrainintothecity?"
IlikedthatideaalotbutIsaid,"No.Don'tthinkyourparentswouldgivethatago,would
they?BetterIshouldcometoyou.AllrightifIcomearoundaboutten?EuclidAvenue,
right?
Lookslikeit'swalkingdistancefromthestation."
"How'dyouknowthat?"
"Maps,m'dear.Maps."
"Oh.Well,thatwouldbefine.WhatareyoudoinginNewYork?"
"Talkingtoyou."
IjumpedtotheTrentonstationthenextmorningandjoinedthecrowdgettingoffa
Philadelphiatrain.Iwalked,stretchingmylegsmoreandmore.Thecutwasstill
incredibly
sorebutIwasregainingmystamina.Inolongergotdizzystandingup,andIwas
ableto
managetheboxedsketchundermyrightarm.Forthefirsttimeintwoweeks,Ifelt
clean,
havinghadanexcellentshowernoworriesaboutgettingthestitcheswet.
Therewerebudsjustbeginningonthetreesandgreengrasssproutingamonglast
year's
brown.Herhomewasayellowbricktwostorywithanenclosedporch.She'dcalled
ita
"colonial"onthephone.ShewasonthestairswhenIturnedontotheblock,though
she

112

waiteduntilIwasinheryardbeforeadvancingtomeetme.Icouldtellshewasgoingtotry
to
hugme,soIheldoutthebox,quickly,andshehadtohaltheradvancetotakeit.
"Comein,comein."
Bothherparentswerewaitinginthefrontparlor.Hermotherwasstandingbythewindow
andherdadwasseated,withabook,butIhadthefeelingthey'dbothbeenwaiting.Iputon
my
bestmannersasIwasintroduced.
"Pleasuretomeetyou.Charmed."
Mrs.Kelsonwasaredheadbutrunningtosilver.Mr.Kelsonworehisdarkhaircut
seventieslong,overtheears,overtheforehead.Ithadn'tgonegrayyetorthere
wasdye
involved.Ididn'tlikehissmileitdidn'ttouchhiseyes.
Itmayhavebeena"whoareyouandwhatareyoudoingwithmydaughter"thing.
Hermum'ssmilewasgenuine,though.Mrs.Kelsonlovedthesketch.E.V.'sdadsaid
"very
nice,"buthisbrowwasfurrowedandhestolesurreptitiouslooksfromthesketchto
his
daughterandback.
"Youmadeacopy?"E.V.asked.
"Yeah,I'vegotadecentphotocopy."Ididn'tsayitwastwicethesizeoftheoriginaland
hungbesidemybed.Ididn'tthinkthatwouldgooversobignotwithherfather.
"WhatareyoudoinginNewYork,Griffin?"askedMr.Kelson.
"OnmywayhomefromEurope.IliveinSouthernCal."
"Oh,really?NotEngland?"Helookedathisdaughter.
"Wedidn'treallydiscussit,Daddy.IsawhiminLondonandhe'sBritish.WhatwasI
supposedtothink?"
"Yeah,"Iadded."Weweretalkingaboutdrawing,mostly."
"WhereinSouthernCalifornia?"
"Outinthedesert,inwestSanDiegoCounty.ThenearesttowniscalledBorregoSprings."
Thiswasthetruth,afterall,butthenIlied."Ispendhalfthetimewithmyunclein
California,
theotherhalfinLechlade,inOxfordshire,withmygrandparents.Iwasvisitinga
friend's
cousinwhenImetE.V.inFrance."
"Yourschoolingmustbecomplicated,"Mrs.Keslonsaid.
"I'monselfstudy.Homeschooling.It'stheonlywaythisworks.WhenIgotouniversity,
it'llbedifferent."
E.V.turnedtofaceherparents.Shesaid,"I'mtakingGriffintoLaveta'sforcoffee."
"We'vegotcoffeehere"ThatfurrowbetweenMr.Kelson'seyebrowswasbackagainbut
Mrs.Kelsoncutin,sayingquickly,"Certainly.Areyougoingtogetlunchout,orwould
you
liketoeatwithus?Patrick'scominginfromPrincetononthetrain."
E.V.glancedatmethensaid,"Mybrother.We'llcatchhimafterlunch,okay?"
"Okay,"Mrs.Kelsonsaid."He'sgoingbackonthefourseventeensomakesureyou
get
backintime."
"Right,"saidE.V.
Shegrabbedhercoatthelargeblackoneshe'dworninEuropeandshruggedintoit

113

and
wewereoutthedoor.
"Walking?"Iasked.
"Yeah,it'sclose.OveronStateStreet,nearthetrainstationbutonthefarside."She
grabbedmyleftarmandItensedandsheletgo."What'swrong?Isthatnotokay?"
HerfacehaddroppedasifI'dstruckherandIhurriedtoreassureher."Sorryhurtmyback.
It'stheleftside.I'dloveforyoutoholdmyotherarm,though."
Hereliefwaspalpable."Ithoughtyouweremovingalittlestiffly."
"Yeah."
IttooktenminutestowalktoLaveta's,wherewegotcoffeetogo.Behindthecoffeeshop
acemeterystretchedbetweenStateStreetandthetrainstation."Youwarm
enough?"she
asked.Ithadstartedpartiallycloudybutnowitwascompletelyovercastandthewind
was
gustingaroundcornerswithamoistbite.
"Maybeifyouletmeshareyourcoat."
Shegrinned."Ilikethewayyouthink."
Sheshowedmeabenchinthebackcornerofthegraveyard."Here.Icomeheretosketch."
Sheopenedhercoatwideonthebenchandinvitedmetositonit.WhenIdid,shewrapped
it
aroundusboth.
"Huh,"shesaid.
Ibarelydaredbreath."What?"
"Webothfitinherejustfine.Ithoughtyouwerelarger.Youtakeupmorespaceinmy
mind."
"Sorry.Alwaysbeenshortformy"Shekissedme.
Iclosedmyeyesandleanedintoit.
AfteramomentshedrewbackandIsaid,"Youcould'vejustsaidshutup."
"Areyoucomplaining?Imean"
ThistimeIstoppedhermouthwithakiss.
Oh.My.
Handswereroaming,mine,hers,hersguidingmine.Iachedandnotinthebadwayof
the
lasttwoweeks.Herhand,roamingupundermyshirt,foundthecutandInearlyyelledin
her
ear.
"I'msorry.Theytookoutthestitchesyesterdayandit'sstill,uh,tender.""Stitches?What
happened?"
We'dendedupapart.Sheturnedmearoundandliftedtheedgeofmyjacketand
shirt,
previouslytuckedin,nowout."JesusChrist!Whathappened?"
Mymouthworkedbutnothingcameout.
"Griffin?What'swrong?Someonedidthistoyou,didn'tthey?"
"Well,yeah,"Isaid.
"Why?That'sfromaknife,right?"
"Yeah,itis."Then,inarush,"Hewasaimingformykidney."Istoodupandletthejacket
andshirtdropbackdown."Cold."
Shepulledhercoatclosed.
"Whodidthat?"

114

"Iliedtoyourparents."
Shelookedconfused."What?Can'tyouanswerastraightquestion?Whatdoyoumean,you
liedtomyparents?"
"Idon'tlivewithmyuncleormygrandparents.Idon'thavegrandparents.Idon'thave
an
uncle.AftermyparentswereaftertheydiedIlivedwithafriendinMexico,thenlater,I
got
myownplace.TheplaceinthedesertItalkedaboutthatpartwasreal."
"What'sthathavetodowiththecutonyourback?"
Ikickedatapileoflastfall'sleaves,clumpedanddecomposing,sendingthemflying.
It
wasamistake."Ow!"Ilimpedaroundinalittlecircle,favoringmyleftside."WhatI'm
trying
tosayisthatIdon'twanttolietoyou.ButIdon'twanttobethoughtcrazy,too,andsome
of
thestuffIwanttosaysoundsterriblycrazy."
Shepulledherlegsupontothebenchunderthecoat,andhuggedthem."Whatkind
of
crazy?"
"Thepeoplewhokilledmyparentsarestilltryingtokillme.Theyweretryingtokillme
whentheykilledthem."
Shelookedlikeshewasabouttocry.Shedoesn'tbelieveme.ShedoesthinkI'minsane.I
held
outmyhandlikeacrossingguardstoppingoncomingtraffic."Wait.There'sproof."
AndIjumpedaway.
She'sgoingtorunscreaming,Ithought,asIrippedtheoldmicrofilmnewspaperprintouts
frommyplywoodgallery.
Ijumpedback.
Shewasstanding,butshehadn'trun.Shedidhaveherfistagainsthermouth.She
flinched
backandsatdownhardastheconcretebenchcaughtthebacksofherknees.She
began
gasping.
Itookastepcloserandhereyeswidenedandsheleanedaway.Well,nowIknew
how
she'dfeltwhenI'dflinchedawayfromherinfrontofherhouse,whenshe'dgrabbed
myleft
armandhurtmybackbyaccident.Imovedveryslowlyandsetthepapersdownontheend
of
thebenchbuttheminuteIletgo,thewindthreatenedtosendthemflyingandIdropped
my
handbackdown.
"Look,they'regonnabealloverifyoudon'ttakethem."Islidthemclosertoher,carefulto
staybeyondtheendofthebench.
Sheputherhanddown,asfarfrommyhandaspossibleandyetstillonthepages.
I
straightenedupandbackedaway.
"Whatwasthat?"Therewassuppressedhysteriainhervoice."Howdidyoudothat?"
Igesturedtothepapers."Ittiesin.Goahead,look."

115

Whenshe'dpickedthemupIsaid,"I'vegotothercutsolderscars,"Isaidquietly."Thetop
twostoriesarewhentheycameformewhenmyparentswerealive.Iknowitsays
drugs
wereinvolvedbutthatwasbullshit."Ipointedtomyrighthip,thewoundIgotthat
night.
"Theynearlykilledmethatnight."
Shereadthroughthepages,glancingupoftentokeeptrackofwhereIwas."Soyourname
reallyisGriffinO'Conner."
Whenshegottothethirdpageshesaid,"Who'sSamCoultonandConsuelo,uh,
Monjarraz?"Shegotthejright,asofth.
"SamandConsuelofoundmeinthedesertafter...thatnight.Theyfixedmeup.
Later,
ConsuelotookmetoOaxacaandIlivedwithhernieceforalmosttwoyears,untilthey
found
meagainandIhadtoleave.Afterthat,Ilivedbymyself.
"TheyheldSamandConsuelohostage,tryingtogetmetosurrender.WhenIsenttheINS
in...well,youseewhathappened."
Shereadon.Shestoppedtrackingmeasshegotintothebodycount.Icrossedmy
right
armovermystomach,pullingmyleftintomyside.Ifeltmyshouldersdroop,hunch
forward.
Theaccusedisinthedockawaitingtheverdictofthejury.
"Sowhydotheywanttokillyou?"
Ishookmyhead."IwishIknewforsure."
"It'ssomethingtodowith,uh,whatyoujustdid,right?""YeahIreallythinkso."
"Andwhatdidyoujustdo?"Shelickedherlips."Imean,Isawyoudisappear,butwhere
didyougo?"
"Myplaceuh,SouthernCal.Inthedesert.""You'rekiddingme."
Ishookmyhead."No.Wanttosee?"Itookastepforward.Sheheldupherhands."Whoa,
boy!"
Isteppedbackagain,thecornersofmymouthtuggingdown.Please,please,please.
Shepointedatthefarsideofthecemetery."Seethecorneroverbythebirth
control
clinic?"Itwasabouttwohundredyardsaway."Gothere.Showme."
Idid.
HowmanySensitivescouldtherebe?Hopefullytherewasn'tonearoundhere.
Istoodthere,twohundredyardsaway,andwaved.Afteramoment,sheraisedherarm
and
madealargecomeheregesture.Ireturned,myway.Shedidn'tjerksomuchthistime
whenI
appeared.
"Isupposeitcouldbedrugs.Didyouputsomethinginmycoffee?"
Ishookmyhead.
"Howdoyoudothat?"
"Ijustdoit.WhenIwasfive,thefirsttime."
"TheStarbuckscup,inMontSaintMichelyousaidyou'dgotitinSanDiego.Youmeant
thatmorning,didn'tyou?"
Inodded.
Itstartedtorain,fatdropsfallingatananglewiththewind.

116

"Shit!"saidE.V."I'msotiredofwinter!Iwantittobewarm."Shesoundedupsetand
I
didn'tthinkitwastheweather.
"Ican'tmakeitwarmhere,"Isaid."ButIcantakeyousomeplacethatis."
Shedidn'tsayno.Hereyeswerestillwarybutherforeheadwasnolongerfurrowed.
"HowdoyoufeelaboutThaifood?"

ChapterTwelve
RitesofPassage

WewerewalkingdownKensingtonHighStreeton'ourthirddatewhenE.V.said,"Let's
goinhere."
Ithoughtshemeanttheshoeboutiquebutshepulledmesidewaystowardtheshopon
the
corner."What?Thechemist?"
"Yes,thechemist."
IfollowedherthroughthedooritwasafternooninNewJerseyandnearlytenatnightin
Londonandtheywereabouttoclose."Whatdoyouneed?"
Shelookedoverhershoulderatmeandsaid,"Whatdoweneed."Thensheblushed.
Sheboughtthecondoms,Durexbrand,andsomelubricantbutgotthecashfrommesince
sheonlyhadAmerican.
Theclerklookedboredandmyearsburned.
Backonthesidewalkshesaid,"We'vetwomorehours."
I'dofferedtoshowhermyplace,theHole,before,butshe'drefused.Sofarshe'dlet
me
takeherswimminginMexico,toParisforcoffee,toMadridfortapas,andPhuketfor
satay.
Butnottomyplace.
"Uh,I'veneverdoneit."
Shenodded."Iknow.Icouldtell."Shesteppeduptomeandpressedagainstme.
"Don't
youwantto?"
Inoddedmutely.
"Well,then."
Itwasafter,whenwewerelyinginmybed,hiptobelly,thatshefinallyfoundoutIwas
thirteenmonthsyoungerthanherseventeenandahalfyears.
"Oh,Christ!It'slikechildabuse!"
Imovedmyhandsidewaysandshearchedherback."Well,morefunthanself
abuse,"I
said."Thinkofitascharitytoapoororphanboy."
"Anorphanboy?"
"Anorphanboy."
Shesang,
"Oh,menofdarkanddismalfate,Forgoyourcruelemploy,Havepityonmylonelystate,I
am
anorphanboy!"

117

"Huh?"Iwasthoroughlyconfused.
"AndyouanEnglishman!PiratesofPenzance.GilbertandSullivan.Gotit?"
"Oh.Neversawit.'ModernMajorGeneral,'right?Okay,havepityonmylonely...?"
"State.Whattimeisit?Oh,shit!"Shepushedmyhandsaway."GetmebackorI'll
be
groundedforalltime."
Ijumpedhertothecornerofherblock,dependingonthegatheringgloomtohide
our
suddenappearance.Shekissedmeandranuptheblock,herbookbagthumpingat
her
shoulder.
Iwalkedbetweentwoparkedcarsonthestreetandjumpedaway.
E.V.'sfatherhadaroughcommute,fortyfiveminutes,sohewasrarelyhomebefore
six.
HermotherworkedinamiddleschoolintheNeshaminyschooldistrictin
Pennsylvania
acrosstheriverandthensome.Sherarelymadeithomebeforefivethirty.Sowe
hadthat
timebetweenthreefifteenandfivethirty,mostweekdays.
"I'mnotburningusout,though,"shesaid."Threetimesaweek,tops."
Ihadtobuymorecondoms.
Shedrewmenaked.
Well,nakedwithasketchpad.
Wedreweachother.
AndweswamnakedinthemoonlightatPhuket.
AndweateatlittlecafesoverlookingtheSeinewhileshedidherclassassignments.I
helpedherwithherFrenchshehelpedmewithAlgebraII.
"MadameBreskinsaysmyaccentisimprovingremarkably."
"LefrangaisestlalanguedeVamour.Let'sgobacktomyplace."
Shelaughed."No.I'vebarelygottimetofinishthisessay."
Mysighwaseloquent.
"Tomorrow.Homeworkornot,"shepromised.
Butthenextdayshewasn'tthere.We'dbeenmeetingattheShellstation,across
GreenwoodAvenuefromthehighschoolandonlyafewblocksfromherhouse.
IthoughtaboutcallingbutshetoldmeherparentshadcallerID,soifIwasgoingtocall,
doitfromwhereIwassupposedtobe.Withasmallmountainofquarters,Istoodat
apay
phoneinSanDiego'sBalboaPark,anddialed.
Sheanswered."Hey,"Isaid.
"Whereareyoucallingfrom?Ah,where'ssixonenine?"
"SanDiego.Howareyou?"WhatIreallymeantwas,Canyoutalk?
"I'mpissed.Dadwentthroughmynightstand.HefoundthesketchIdidofyouinthenude.
Whenweweresketching?"
"Thatwasareallygoodsketch.Uh,whatdidhesay?Whatdidyousay?"
"IsaidI'ddrawnitfrommyimagination.Alsothatitwasnoneofhisbusinessandif
he
everwentthroughmystuffagain,I'dleavehome."Sheclearedherthroat."Therewas
some
shoutinginvolved."

118

"Whendidthishappen?"
"Today.Heshowedupandpulledmeoutofschoollastperiod.Sorry.I'mgroundedfora
month.HesuspectssomethingIhavetocomestraighthomeafterschoolandcheckin
with
himbyphoneatwork.Can'tgoanywhere.He'llprobablyspotcheckwithphonecalls."
"Whatareyougoingtodo?"
"I'llstickitout.Mymother'supset,butabitmoreathim,Ithink.Iknowtheydiditinhigh
school.He'sahypocrite.She'stheonewhomadesureIhadcondomswhenI
enteredhigh
school."
"Oh,yeah?IknewIlikedher."ItriedtokeepmyvoicelightbutIfeltlikecrying.Icouldn't
imaginenotseeingherforanentiremonth.
"Yeah.WefoughtlikewildcatswhenIwasinmiddleschoolbutwe'vecometoapretty
goodplacenow.ButI'mnotspeakingtoDad.Ipredicttwoweeks,tops,thenhe'll
cave.
Maybeevensooner."
Thatwasn'tquiteasbad."WillIbeabletocallyou?"
"Hmmm.Idon'tseewhynot.We'vegotcallwaiting.He'llknowyoucalled,thoughhe'll
checkthenumberswhenhegetshomesomakesureit'sfromSanDiego,right?"
"Right."
Iheardanoiseinthebackground."They'recallingmeforsupper.Gottago.""Okay.
Je
t'aime.""Damnstraight,"shesaid.
Ididlaundry.Thesheetsneededchanging.Iboughtmoresheets,anicercomforter,
more
pillows.She'dcomplainedaboutmynothavingmusic,soIboughtalargeportablestereo,
one
thatcouldrunoffmytwelvevoltpowersystem,andaselectionofCDs.Istockedupon
her
favoritedietcolaandsomesnacks,healthyandotherwise.Shelikedthoseweirdrice
cakes,
theonesthatarelikeStyrofoam,soIboughtacaseofthose.
Iboughtabetterportabletoiletformybathroomnook,onethatusedchemicalsto
keep
thesmelldown.Icouldstilldumpitinthesamepittoiletattheparkpicnicareaandithad
a
nicerseat.
IaddedtwomoresolarwaterheatersfortheshowerbackinOaxaca.
Well,thatkilledthreedays.
Mysidewasgettingbetter.Whilenolongertender,itpulledwhenImovedmy
upper
body,soIbegandoingsomestretches.
Iboughtaheavybagandastandforit,butitwasn'tstableontheunevenfloorofthe
cave,
soIendedupsettingitinconcrete.Afterafewdaysofhittingthis,Ialsowentbackto
the
makiwaraintheEmptyQuarter.Oneofthemhadbeentaken,maybeusedforfirewood,
andI
hadtoresetacoupleoftheothersthathadcomelooseinthesoil.

119

Myleftsidewasweak,thetuggingfromthescarprofound.Idoubleduponthatside,both
thestretchesandthestrikes,andtherewassomeimprovement.
ItalkedtoE.V.everyweekdayafternoon.
"Nowhe'sevenmoresuspicious.He'swonderingwhyyouweren'tcallingbeforeandnow
youare."
"Oh,great.ShouldIstop?"
"Hell,no!Butifthiskeepsup,I'mthinkin'youmightjoinmeintheafternoons.Imean,I've
gotabed."
"I'veneverbeeninyourroom.Infact,itwasonlythatonedaythatIwasinyour
housewhenIbroughtthesketchandthenlater,whenImetPatrickandBooger."
"Yeah?Whatdoesthatmean?"
"Ican'tjumpwithoutaclearmemory.Imean,IcanjumpsomeplaceIcansee,but
otherwiseIreallyneedtobefamiliarwithit.That'swhyIhaveallthosesketches."
"Hmm.Well,I'mreallygettingdesperate,ifyouknowwhatImean.""Believeme,Iknow."
Atthreeweeks,herfatherrelented.
ImetheratourusualspotandwewentstraighttotheHole.Sheapprovedofthepillows
andthecomforterandthetoiletbutIdon'tthinkshenoticeduntilafterthesecondtime.
"Oh,God.Ineededthat.Boy,didIneedthat."Shepokedatmyarm."You'vebeen
exercising."
"Yeah.Especiallymyrightarm."
WeshoweredtogetherinOaxaca,washingeachotherslowly.Thetemperaturewas
just
right.
Afterweweredressed,wesatinthesunonthebeachbelow,meonarockandherinthe
sandatmyfeet.Ibrushedherhairuntilitwasdry.
IleftherinourcornerofMercerCemetery.Iwantedtowalkherhomebutshekissedme
andsaid,"No.Notwhenyou'resupposedtobeinSanDiego.SeeyouThursday!"
ShewasthereonThursdaybutpale.
"What'swrong?"
"Oh,I'vegotaheadache,"shesaid."ButI'vealsogotsomegoodnews.ItoldthemI'dbeout
untilnine.SomefriendsofmineareplayingtheTeenClub.We'retolendmoral
support.
They'renotthatgoodabandbuttheyplayreallyloud."
Iwasstunnedbythegoodfortune."That'salmostsixhours!"
"Well,wedohavetoactuallygototheclubbutIdon'tintendtogetthereuntilsevenat
theearliest."Shelookedanxious."Thatokay?"
"You'renotworriedsomeonewillseemeandtellyourparents?"
"Iwanttodancewithyou."
"Haveyouseenmedance?Anyway,wecanfindplacestodancefarfromTrenton."
Sheshookherhead."Iwantustogo."
"Claroquesi!Atyourcommand.Andwhatdowedobeforethen?"
"Idon'tknowaboutyou,butIwanttoscrew."
Therewassomethingwrong.Shewasclingingtomehard,almostdesperately.
"Areyouallright?"
"Don'tstop!"Sheburiedherfaceinmychestandpulledmehardagainsther.The
lights
weredimbutitseemedlikehereyeswerewet.ShedughernailsintomybackandI
forgot
everythingbutmoving.

120

Whenshecameitwasloud,almostanguished,greatshudderinggasps,andwhat
little
controlIhadwentwithit.Iwasdrowsyandshepulledmyheadontohershoulder.
"Sleep.
Thisonce,we'vegotthetime."
Ithoughtitmightstillbeherdad.Itmustbehardtohavetolietoyourparents.Iworried
foramomentthatitmightbemebutshewasholdingmecloseandstrokingmyback.
Shewokemeagainlaterandwemadeloveoncemore,longandlingering.Thenshe
lookedatherwatchandsaid,"Fuck.Quickshower?"
ThesunwaslowinOaxacabutthewaterwasstillwarmand"quick"wastheword,forthe
mosquitoeswerecomingout.
TheTeenClubwasnearertheDelawareRiver,butstillwalkable,andwhileitwascoldin
Trenton,itwasn'tascoldasithadbeentheweekbefore.Iwaswearingmyanorak
butthe
minutewe'dpaidourcoverandgotinside,Itookitoffandcarrieditbecausetheclub,
either
fromtoomuchcentralheatortoomanyoccupants,waslikeanoven,worsethanOaxaca.
Manyofthesekidsclearlydidn'tusedeodorant.
Thebandwasloudandtheyweren'tterriblethreeguysondrums,guitar,andbass,and
three
girlsonvocals.Theytendedtowardpunkwithindustrialovertonesandeithertheclub
hada
fulllightsetuporthesekidshadwaytoomuchmoney.Therewerestrobesand
motorizedtracklightsandlasersandasmokemachine.
Conversationwasbarelypossibleifyoushoutedorifyoutimedyoursentencesin
thegaps.Theysoldrefreshmentsbutnoalcohol.Mostofthecustomerswereunder
twentyone
butsomeweren't,andtherewerechaperones,leaningagainstthewalls,eyes
movingrestlessly.Oneofthemhadhisfingerspluggedfirmlyintohisears.
Thereweretablesaroundtheedgebuttheywerealltaken,eitheroccupiedorpiled
highwithcoats.IyelledinE.V.'sear,"Whydon'tIdropourcoatsbackatmyplace?"
"What?"
Ittooktwomoreeffortstomakeherunderstand."Oh!Okay."Shetookher
pocketbook
andsomethingelseoutofhercoatpocketsbeforepushingthecoatintomyarms.
Iwanderedbacktowardthebathrooms,lookingforanunoccupiedcorner,buttherewere
kidsmakingoutinthedarkhallway.Thebathroomitself,though,wasempty,andI
jumped
carefully.
ToreturnIjumpedbacktoanemptylotwe'dcrossedwalkinghere.Therewasa
streetlightbutithadbeensmashedandI'drememberedbeingalittleuncomfortable
taking
E.V.thatroute,pickingmywayacrossthejunkstrewnground.
Bymyself,Ididn'tcare,evenwhenIsawthreeguysmovingfromtheedgeofthelotinto
themiddle,toblockmyway.Ikeptwalkingstraightatthemandwhenoneofthem
lifteda
pipeinhishandandsaid,"Stop,"Ijustjumpedpastthem,tothesidewalkatthecorner.
Oneofthemyelledandanotherwassaying,"Whatthefuck!"overandoverand
over.I

121

lookedbackandsawthatthey'dturned,perhapshavingheardmyfootstepsonthe
walk,but
theyweremakingnomovetofollow.
IwasstillgrinningwhenIshowedthemanatthedoorthestamponmyhand.
E.V.wasstandingneartherefreshmentbarjugglingtwodrinksandherpocketbook.
The
dancinghadspreadandshewashavingahardtimekeepingthedrinkssafefromflying
arms
andjumpingbodies.Shewaswatchingthebackhallwaytothebathrooms,the
directionI'd
left,andherfacewasanxious,asifshewasafraidIwouldn'tcomebackorsomething.
Itappedhershoulderandshejumped.I'dswearshescreamedbutthemusicwassoloud,it
mayhavebeenjustagasp.Bothdrinkshitthefloor,though,together,sprayingmylegsand
hers.
Ididhearhersay"Fuck!"quitedistinctlyitwasoneofthoselullsinthemusic.
"Sorry,
sorry."ShestartedtoreachdownbutIcaughthershoulderandstoppedher.The
floorwas
alreadylitteredwithpapercupsstampedflatbythedancers.
Thebandreachedtheendofonenumberandthedrummerandtheleadvocalists
were
discussingsomethingoffmike.InthemomentarysilenceIsaid,"Whatarewedrinking?"
"IgotyouaSprite.YouknowwhatIhad.AndIdroppedthemboth!Whateveryouwant."
Imanagedtoplacetheorderjustbeforethebandstartedup.Paymentwas
successfully
accomplishedwithhandsigns.Ideliveredherdietsodaandtriedmycoffee.Itwasin
a
Styrofoamcup,toohottodrinkand,inthisenvironment,potentiallydisastrous.
Firstor
seconddegreeburns,Ithought,andturnedsuddenlybacktowardthebartogetsome
creamor
icetocoolitdown.
Hewasolderthanthekidsaroundhim,dressedgrunge,buthe'dbeenstepping
forward
whenIsawhim,hislefthandheldoutslightly,chesthigh,hisotherhandheldlowbyhis
leg.
Helungedasthestagestrobeswereflashingandtheknifecutupwardindiscretestop
motion
steps.
Isteppedback,bumpingsomeonedancing,andthrewthecoffeestraightout.He
jerked
back,clawingathisfaceandshirt.Therewasothermovement,sudden,notthe
puzzled
reactionofbystandersbutdeliberatemotionamongthedancers,andIturned.E.V.
was
fumblingwithsomething,butIgrabbedherandjumped.
Electriccurrent,burning,contractingmyentirebody.IspasmedawayfromE.V.Thebright
blueskydimmedandflared.MyhandsscrabbledacrossgravelandsandbutIcouldn't
make

122

themdoanything.
E.V.screamed,"No!No!NOOOOOOOOOr
Iblinkedhardtryingtogetmysighttobehave.Wewerealone,intheEmptyQuarter.
I
thoughtshe'dbeenattackedwasbeingattacked.Shewasonherknees,onthe
ground,
hunchedover,holdingherselfupwithextendedarms.Herpocketbookhadspilled
open
showingacellphoneandmoneyandasmallunlabeledprescriptionmedicinebottle.
There
wasablackcylinder,perhapssevenincheslong,clutchedinherotherhand.
"I'mokay,"Isaid.Iwasn'tthatsure,butshewashorriblyupset.Iwantedtoreassureher.
"Takemeback!Now!"
Shewassuddenlyleaningoverme,onehandgrabbingmysweater,theothershaking
the
blackcylinderinmyface.
"What?"MymuscleswerestartingtoworkagainandItriedtositupbutsheshovedme
backdownagain.Shewascryingandshelookeddesperatelyafraid.
"TAKEMEBACK!"
Shejammedthecylinderintomysideandthecurrentandtheburningcameagain.Myback
archedsomuchmyheelsandheadweretheonlythingtouchingtheground.ThistimeI
passed
outcompletely.
ThesunwasdroppingbelowthehorizonwhenIcameto.E.V.wascomingdownthe
ridge,stumbling,trippingoverrocks.Shewascrying,hereyessofilledwithtearsshe
could
obviouslyhardlysee.
Isatup.MymusclesfeltlikeI'drunamarathon,lacticacidsoreness,andtherewasaburn
onmysideandanotheronmyback,butIfeltlikeIcouldjumpifIhadto.
Shehadthecellphoneinonehand.Ididn'tseetheblackrod.
"Ididn'tknowyouhadacellphone,"Isaid.Ifeltinsane.Surelythisiswhatapsychoticbreak
islike?
Shestopped,thenthrewthephoneontothesandbetweenus."It'snotmine.Itbelongsto
them."
Oh,fuck.
ShepulledtheblackrodoutofherbackpocketandItensed,butshethrewthatdown,as
well."Andthat.Andthosepills."Shegesturedtowhereherpursestilllay."I
droppedthe
drink.Why'dIdropthedrink?ItwouldbeoverifIhadn'tdroppedthedrink!"
Ilookedbackatthepurse,atthepillbottle."Whatkindofpillwasit?"
Shelookedaway."Theysaiditwouldknockyouout.Sotheycouldcatchyou."Shelooked
backatmeandwinced."Yeah,Iknow.Ifyou'djumpeditwouldn'tdoanygood,evenif
you
passedoutafter.Ithadtobepoison."
"Youknewthat?"Itfeltlikemyfacewasgoingtobreak."Youknewthatand...
maybe
that'swhyyoudroppedit."Thentherestofithitme."Theyhaveyourparents."Ididn'task
itI
saidit.

123

Shedroppedtoherknees."Theykilledmyfather.Theycuthisfuckingthroatrightinfront
ofme!Andthentheyputtheknifeagainstmymother'sneck!"
"Oh,God.I'msosorry."Igotupandwalkedovertoherbutsheshovedmeaway.
She
kickedatmeandclawedandIsteppedback,thendroppeddownandsatonmyheels.
"How
didtheyfindyou?Wasitme?DidtheytracksomeofmyjumpsinTrenton?"
Shewaslyingonherside,curledin."Hedidit!Goddamnhim.Hedidit.Hewanted
to
checkuponyou.Afterhefoundthatsketch,hegotafriendtorunacriminalcheck.
They
showedupwithpolicebadgesandheansweredalltheirquestions.Hegaveyoutothemon
a
silverplatterandthentheycuthisthroat.Daddy,youidiotlThefuckingphonewon't
geta
signal!Oh,God.They'llkillthemboth!"
Oh."Theyhaveyourbrother,too."
Shescreamedagainandpoundedthegroundwithherfists.
Iunderstood,then."Youwentupontheridgetotryandgetasignal.Ifyou'dreachedthem,
whatwouldyouhavedone?Comedownandfinishedme?Waituntiltheycame
andconfirmedmydeath?"
Shejumpedupandrandownthearroyo,north.Shewasstillsobbing.Ipocketedthephone
and,cautiously,theblackcylinder,thentookupherpurse.Ilethergetaboutfiftyyards
away
andtrippedher,appearingbesideherpathwithmyfootoutstretched.Whileshewas
stilldown,IhookedthewaistlineofherjeansandjumpedherbacktotheHole.
Shelookedatthebedandcollapsedonthefloor,sobbing,sobbing.
Icouldn'tstanditandIjumpedaway,totheGreenwoodShellpetrolstationacrossfrom
herhighschool.There,inthelightofthefluorescents,Ilookedattherod.Ithad
four
projectingelectrodes,sharp,forstickingthroughclothing,andaslideswitch,likeon
an
electrictorch.Iturnediton,butitdidn'tspark,soIsuspecteditwasactuatedwhena
partial
conductorbridgedthepoints.
Itookoutthecellphoneandcalled,usingtheonlynumberinthecellphone'scalllog.
"Speak."ItwasKemp'svoice.
"She'sdead.Iblameyou."
Ihungup.
Ididn'twanttohearhisthreatsagainstMrs.KelsonorE.V.'sbrother,Patrick.Iwanted
to
lowerthebar,removeanyreasonforthebastardstokillthem.Thephonebuzzedinmy
hand,
vibrating,andIthoughtaboutthrowingitaway.InsteadIhelddownthepowerbutton
untilit
turnedcompletelyoff.
IjumpedbacktotheHole."Wheredidtheyhavethem?"Sheflinchedatmyvoice
and
lookedupatme."What?""Wheredidtheyhaveyourmotherandbrother?""Theysaid

124

they'd
bemovingthem.Nottobotherwitharescuesincetheywouldn'tbethere."
Ilookedattheceilingandsqueezedmyeyesshut."That'swhattheysaid.Wherewerethey
whentheykilledyourwhentheythreatenedyourmother?"
"Inthebasement.Theywereallinthebasement."
"Howmanyofthemwerethere?Thatyousaw?"
"Idon'tknow.Noneofthemenattheclubwerethemenatthehouse.Therewerefourat
thehouse."Ijumped.
Thehousewasdark.I'dwalkedfromthepetrolstation,expectingthemtoshowupincars
oronfoot.HellIhalfexpectedthemtoparachutein.
Buttheyhadn't.
IrememberedthebombatAlejandra'sandIwonderedifthat'swhattheyhadin
mind.I
jumpedaway,totheEmptyQuarter,andthenbackagain.
Nothing.
Ikickedthefrontdoorinandjumpedaway,tothesidewalk.
Thedogbeganbarkingfromthebackyard.
Iwentaroundtheside.Therewerecoveredstairsstormcellartype,justshortofthe
fence.Boogerdancedontheotherside,barkingandwagginghistailatthesametime.I
tugged
atthehandleanditopenedbutIjumpedbacktothesidewalkbeforeitswungtotheside.
Nothing.
IrememberedthebombinSanDiego,theonethey'dsetformovementinthehouse,unless
adoorwasopenedfirst.They'dusedacellphonetriggerinMexico.Howabouthere?
Surely
theyknewIwashere.EveniftheywerealloverattheTeenClub,theycouldsurelyfeel
my
jumps.
Ortheywerewaitinginside.
Standingjustinsidethefrontdoor,Iflippedthelightswitchupandjumpedbackto
the
sidewalk.Thelightcameon.Nothingexploded.Noonejumpedoutofthecoatclosetwith
a
knifeorastungun.Ijumpedintothehouse,totheendofthehallwaywhereitendedat
the
kitchen,thenaway.
Nothing.
Ireturnedandflippedonthelightswitchinthekitchenandjumpedaway.
Outside,Imoveddownthecellarsteps.Thedoorwaslockedbutithadadiamondsquare
glassinset.Ishowedmyheadandjumpedaway.
Nothing.
Therewasnothingtoseethelightswereoutanditwaspitchblackwithin.Ifound
the
insidecellarstairsleadingdownfromthekitchen.Therewasalightswitchatthe
top.I
flippeditandjumpedaway.
AfewminuteslaterIlookedbackintheglassinsetfromtheoutsidecellardoor.
Mr.Kelsonwasonthefloor,facedown,hishandscabletiedbehindhisback.They'ddone
itnexttothefloordrainsotherewasn'tasmuchbloodasI'dseeninConsuelo's

125

kitchen.On
thefarwall,pushedupagainstaleaningpileofdisassembledcardboardcartons,Mrs.
Kelson
andPatrickKelsonwereinwoodenchairs,theirlegsducttapedtothechair'sfrontlegs,
their
armsducttapedtothechairarms.Ducttapecoveredtheirmouths,runningalltheway
around
theirheads,andtherewasducttapeacrosstheireyes,too.
Icouldn'ttelliftheywerealiveordead.
Icouldn'tseeanyoneelsethroughthedoorbutthatdidn'tmeantheyweren'tthere.
Ijumpedintothemiddleoftheroomandaway,asquicklyasIcould,sosureI'dtrip
a
motionsensorthatIpanicked,andarrivedbackintheEmptyQuarterwithshredsof
cardboard
flyingaroundme.
Boy,haven'tdonethatinawhile.
Ijumpedbacktothesidewalk,outside.Thehousewasstillthere.Menwithknivesweren't
poppingoutofthebushesorfallingfromthesky.
BackinthecellarIcouldseetheirlaboredbreath.They'dbothsoiledthemselvesand
for
somereasonthatmadememadderthananything.Theytapedthemupandjustleft
them.I
wonderedhowlongthey'dbeenwithoutwater.
IwenttoMrs.Kelsonandreachedforthetapeacrosshereyesandthenfroze.
Mysloppyjumphaddislodgedthecardboardstackbehindthem.
Andthat'swherethebombwas.
Itwasamilitarything,olivedrabnylonbag,oneendopened,exposingolivedrab
metal
withscrewdownterminalsandtwodifferentmulticonductorwires,eachleadingacross
the
floortoachair.Thewireswentupthechairlegsundertheducttapeandtransitionedto
the
chairseat,tuckedunderthebacksoftheirknees.
Pressureswitch?Whenyoufreedthemandliftedtheirbodiesoffthechairs,didit
completethecircuitorbreakit?
Andcouldthebastardsstilldetonateitremotely?
Callthebombsquad!
Right.Anddotheydetonateitthen,whentheyseeallthetruckspullup?
Fuckit!
Igabbedthebackofeachchairandjumped.
MyarmshurtandIcouldn'tkeepPatrick'schairfromfallingover,butIdidslowhisfall
andwewerethere,intheEmptyQuarter.
Alive.
Thewireshadbrokenattheterminalstherewasabitofstrippedcopperstillshowing.I
wonderedifthebombhadgoneoffornot.Maybethere'dbeenadelayset.
Itookthetapeoffoftheirmouthsfirst,andtheirbreathingeased.Thetapeovertheir
eyes
wastrickyIfeltlikeI'ddamagetheireyelids,soIleftit.
Mrs.Kelsongroaned.

126

Patrickstirred."Whoisit?What'shappening?"
Ithoughtaboutreassuringhim,thenshookmyhead.
Ileftthemtapedtothechairsandjumpedthem,oneatatime,tothesidewalkoutsideSt.
FrancisMedicalCenterinTrentonitwasrightacrossfromtheeastsideofE.V.'shigh
school.
SomeoneshoutedandIheardfootstepsbutIdidn'teventurnaroundbeforejumping
backto
EuclidAvenueinTrenton.
Thehousehadn'texploded.
Iheardthedogbarkingstill,fromthebackyard,andIwasglad.
"Nineoneoneoperator.Whatisthenatureofyouremergency?"
"There'sadeadmanandanunexplodedbombinthebasementofahouseonEuclid
Avenue."Igavethestreetaddress.
I'dusedthecellphonetomakethecallandwhenIhunguponthe911operator's
questions,itbuzzedagain,andIwonderediftheoperatorwascallingback.
ItwasKemp.
"We'llkillhermotherandbrother,youknow."
Didheexpectmetoturnmyselfovertothem?Ordidtheyhavesomewayoftrackingthe
phone?
"Byallmeans,killthem,"Isaid."Theydeserveit."
Iwentbacktothecellar,quickly,beforethebombsquadgotthere.Iwipedthephoneoff
andsetitbesideMr.Kelson'sbody.Iwasabouttojumpawayagain,whenIsawabaseball
bat
leaninginthecorner.Itwasn'tfullsizeprobablyleftoverfromLittleLeague.Iwonderedif
it
hadbeenPatrick'sorE.V.'s.
Ilookeddownatthebody.
"MindifIborrowthis?"
ThefirstsirenssoundedinthedistanceandIjumpedaway.

ChapterThirteen
EndsandBeginnings

E.V.wasatthetablewithoneofherdietsodasandthebottleofpills.Idroppedthe
bat
andjumpedacrosstheroom,snatchingthebottleoffthetable.Sheflinched.Inaflatvoice
she
said,"Iwasn'tgoingto.IthoughtaboutitIreallydid."
Ithrewthepillcanisteracrossthecaveandintotheoldentranceshaft.
"Why?"Iasked."Thebastardsarealreadydoingenough.Youwanttodotheirwork
for
them?"
Shejustlookeddownatthetable.Shewouldn'tlookup.
Loveme.Takemebacktobedandloveme.Makeitlikeitneverhappened.
"I'msorry,"Isaid."I'msorryaboutyourfath"
"Goddamnit!Couldn'tyouhavelied?Why'dyouhavetotellmeyourrealname?Why

127

couldn't
youhavelied!Youliedabouttheotherstuff!"
I'dalreadyhadthesamethought.HerfatherwouldprobablystillbealiveifI'dmadeupa
name.Hell,Icould'vebeenPaullyMacLand,thebastard.Itookherelbow,topullherup,
and
shelashedoutatme.Iblockeditautomatically.Yearsofkarateweregoodfor
something,it
turnedout.Keepyourgirlfriendfrombeatingonyou.
Somethingwrongthere.
Ishovedherbackdownintothechairandwhileshestruggledtogetherbalance
back,
tryingtokeepthechairfromtippingoverbackward,Isteppedinandjumpedherto
the
sidewalkacrossfromherhighschool.
Shetwistedaway,hunchinginonherself,thenlookedaround."Whatwhyhere?"She
was
staringwest,towardthehighschool.
Igesturedbehindhertowardthemedicalcenter,atthelargeinternallylitredcross
with
thewordsEMERGENCYROOMbesideit."Yourbrotherandmotherareinthere.
They'reokayprobablydehydrated,butphysicallyokay."Ishrugged.
Anger,rage,fear,terror,griefshe'dfinallymanagedtohidethose,topushthemto
thebackgroundbutthis,hope,wastoomuch.Ihadtowalkhertherestoftheway,
supportingherthroughthewaitingroomdoor,tothefirstrowofseats.
Itwasn'tcrowded.Awomaninscrubscameforward,concernfurrowingherface.E.V.'s
griefwasextravagant,unmitigated,loud.
Isawhersafelyseatedandturnedtothenurse."Hermotherandbrotherwerejustdropped
offhere.Uh,therewasducttapeinvolved."
Thenurse'seyeswidened."Thepoliceare"
Iheldupmyhandandsomethinginmyfacemadeherrecoilandstoptalking,midsentence.
IputE.V.'spocketbookinherlap,touchedherhairandsaid,"Ihopeyouneverhavetolie
aboutwhoyouare,E.V."Itookadeepshudderingbreathandfeltthetearscoming.
Inolongercaredwhosawmeornot.
"Goodbye."
Ijumped.
IcouldstillsmellE.V.onthebedding.Hell,hercoatwasstilllyingthere,withmine,on
topofthedresser.Itookitwithmetothebedandburiedmyfaceinit.
ItwasallmixedupstufffromMumandDad,stufffromSamandConsuelo,Henry.
E.V.
E.V.'sgriefforherfather,amanwho'dreallyjustwantedtomakesurehisdaughterwas
safe.I
wishhe'dleftwellenoughalone.Everyonewould'vebeenhappieror,atleast,alive.I
wanted
tobeangrywithhimbuthardasItried,itallturnedinward.
Afterall,whatwasthecommondenominator,ifnotme?
Itwastheworstnight,thelongestnight.
I'djumpedthatday,accidentally,whenPaullychargedme.MumandDadweredead.
GoingtolivewithAlejandrahaddoomedSamandConsuelo.IfIhadn'tsenttheINS
in,

128

wouldtheagentsstillbealive?
IfIhadn'tusedmyrealnamewithE.V.orrealdetailsaboutwhereIlived.Me,me,me,it
wasallme.
Ihatedmyself.Ieventhoughtaboutthepillsdownthetunnel.Ifellasleepandhad
nightmares.Iwokeupandtherealitywasjustasbad.
E.V.'ssmellwasatormentandacomfortandIthoughtaboutwrappingmyselfinhercoat,
goingdowntheoldtunnel,andgettingthepills.
Isoakedinthatforawhilewallowed,reallybutthentheothercommon
denominator
graduallysurfaced.
Them.
IsnatchedSanDiegoSheriff'sDepartmentinvestigatorBobVigilfromtheparkinglotat
theLemonGrovesubstation.He'djustshutthedooronhiscarandwasturning
towardthe
buildingwhenIappeared,grabbedhiscollar,andjumped.Hecamedownonhisback,hard,
in
theEmptyQuarter,buthishandcameoutfromunderhiscoatwithhisservice
automatic
prettydarnfast.
Iwasn'tthereanymore.
Iwatchedhimforafewminutes,sittingintheshadeontopoftheridge.Hetriedhiscell
phonebutitdidn'tgetasignal.HeputawayhisgunafterafewminutesandIjumped,
jabbing
himintherightarmwiththeblackcylinder.HefelloverinaverysatisfyingwayandIhad
his
gun,hisMace,hisextraclips,hiscellphone,hiswallet,andhishandcuffsbeforehewas
able
tositup,muchlessstand.
WhenI'dfirstgrabbedhim,intheparkinglot,I'dfeltthestiffedgeofhisKevlarvest.I'd
beenplanningtoshockhimintheback,butIchangedtothearminstead.
Ididn'tbotherthreateninghimwiththegun.Infact,Ipoppedtheclipoutandthenaimed
itofftotheside,toseeiftherewasabulletchambered.
Therewas.Webothflinchedatthenoise."How'sthatshoulder,Bob?"
Heglaredatme.Ipulledupmyshirt,ontheleftside,andtwistedtoshowhimmyscar.
"Seethat,Bob?That'swhereyourfriendstriedformykidney.Pretty,huh?"
Hisexpressionwentfromangrytowary.
"I'mnothappyaboutthat,Bob.Ithinkthat'sprettyunderstandable."Ijumpedtwenty
feet
directlybehindhimandsaid,"Doyouunderstand,Bob?"
Hetwistedsofasthetangledhisfeetandstaggeredofftooneside."Whatare
you?"he
askedhoarsely.
"Didn'ttheytellyou,Bob?Didn'ttheygiveyousomejustification?"Ijumpedagain,twenty
feetofftohisleft,andherecoiledagain."Yousetmeup.Whatdidyouthinkwould
happen?"
"Theysaidyouwereathreatto,uh,nationalsecurity."
"Asixteenyearoldkid?Athreattonationalsecurity?"Iopenedhiswallet.Hehadthree
twentiesandafewcreditcardsbuttherewasazipperedcompartmentbehindthe
cash.I

129

pulledthezipper,spreaditwide,andwhistled.Ihelditouttodisplayathicksheafof
hundred
dollarbills."Howgoodisthepayatthesheriff'sdepartment?"
"Gofuckyourself,"hesaid."Idon'thavetotellyouanything!"
"Oh,"Isaidquietlytomyself,"Ireallythinkyoudo"ThistimeIjabbedhiminthe
right
buttockwiththeshockstick.Hedroppedtothesideandyelled.
Icroucheddownaboutfivefeetaway."I'mnotthepolice.I'mnotconstrainedbyyourrules
ofevidenceandprisonertreatment."Hewaswatchingmeandtwitching.Iswayedtoone
side
andhiseyesfollowedme."Ofcourse,youdon'tseemthatconstrainedbytherules,
either.I
almostbelievedyouaboutthenationalsecuritything."
Hesnarled.
"Idon'tevencareaboutyou.Idon'tknowiftheytoldyouthey'dbetryingtoknifemeor
not.ButIwanttoknowwhattheytoldyou.Howtheycontactedyou.Ifnohowthey
wanted
youtocontactthemifIshowedupagain."
Iplayedwiththeblackcylinder,passingitfromhandtohand."Whydon'tyoujusttellme?
Youdo,anditchecksout,I'llletyougo."
HesworeatmeinSpanishsoIswitchedtothat.
"Esteestumomentodelaverdad,Roberto.Literally.Yourmomentoftruth.Theydidn't
quite
getme,buttheykilledsomeoneelsetwodaysagoandI'mnothappyaboutthat.
Youcan
probablytell.NotonlycanIdothis"
Ifeintedtowardhislegwiththecylinderandhecriedout,"Stop!"
Irockedbackonmyheels."ButIcanalsogiveinformationtotheFBIaboutyour
involvementinthatmurder.Theycuthisthroatwhilehishandsweretiedbehindhis
back.
Andthenthere'stheINSthey'dprobablyliketoknowthatyou'vebeentakingbribesfrom
the
peoplewhokilledsixoftheirs."
IsortofsmiledbutIcouldfeelthewrongnessofit,likefingerstuggingmyfeaturesaround.
"I'mnotsureyou'dseetrial."
Nowthis,wherethephysicalstuffdidn'tseemtobegettingthrough,actuallyseemed
to
work.
"It'sonmyphone.Inmycontacts.There'sanumberlabeledsaltador\Butthat'sallIknow,I
swear!"
Ilaughedoutloud.SaltadorisSpanishforvaulterorjumper.
IlefthimtherewhileIcheckedforasignal.IgotoneattheTexacopetrolstationouton
Old80,barely.IjumpedtotheridgetopwhereIusedtomeetSamandConsueloand
found
thatitwasclosertothecelltower,threebarsonthesignalstrengthindicator.
VigilwasstandingwhenIgotbackbutlookingaround,confused.Thesunwashigh
overheadandhewasn'tsurewhichdirectionwaswhich.Ithrewhiswallettohim,high,and
as
hejumpedupintotheairtograbit,Ijumpedhimandspilledhimontotheridgetop.

130

"Hey!"heyelled."Itoldyouwhatyouwantedtoknow!"
Isaidsoothingly,"Yes,youdid.Butdidyouwantmetoshockyouagain,togetyouhere?
Thatwasthealternative."
Itooktheshockstickoutofmypocketagain."Now.AllIwantyoutodoistellthemthat
youconvincedmetheywerefollowingyou,thatyou'reonmyside,andI'veagreedto
another
meetingoutatSamCoulton'splace.Uh,nobody'smovedinthere,havethey?"
"Hellno.Eightpeoplediedthere.Thecousinwhoendedupwithitwantstosellbut
nobodyisinterested."
"Okay.Tellthemit'ssetforthreeo'clock."
Helookedathiswatch."That'llonlygivethemanhourtogetoutthere."
"Soitwill."Iflippedopenhisphoneandfoundtheentryanddialedit.
HediditasI'dtoldhimand,afterhetoldthemwhenandwhere,hesaid,"So,I'llseeyou"
Hetiltedthephoneinhishandandstaredatit."Theyhungup."
Iheldmyhandoutforthephone.
HisfingersclosedarounditandIliftedtheshocktube.
"Hey,it'smyphone."
"Sure,"Isaid.
HerelaxedandIjumped,onlytwofeettotheside,andkickedthephoneoutofhishand.It
reallyflew,high,higher,andcamedowninthebrushthirtyfeetaway.
Hewasclutchinghishandtohischestandswearing.Iwalkedover,pickedupafistsized
rock,andhitthephonethreetimes.
IsethisgunandammunitionandtheMaceandhandcuffsonthefragmentsofplasticand
circuitboard."Seethehighway?"Isaidpointingatthedistantgrayline.
Hehelduphisgoodhandandflippedmethebird.
"Ibetyoucanwalkitinabouttwohours."
Ijumpedaway.
Iwasonmyback,underSam'scouch,mynosejustclearingthecottonbattenandsteelleaf
springs.IfI'dbeenoneinchthicker,itwouldn'thaveworked.
Iheardtheirfootstepsfirst,butjustbarely.Didn'thearacarsoIpresumedthey'd
parked
theirvehiclesomewhereofftheroad,outofearshot.TheycamesoonerthatIexpected,
but
I'dbeenthereforthirtyminutesandwasreasonablyconfidentthattheyhadn'tfeltme
arrive.
Notunlessthey'dbeencampingwithinrange.
Thedoorwaslockedbuttheyopenedit.Didn'tknowiftheyhadakeyorifthey'dpickedit
buttheydidn'tforceitthatwould'vegiventhegameaway.
Theycheckedthehousecarefully,though,openingclosetsandcabinets,peekingup
into
theatticcrawlspace.I'dbeenplanningonwaitingupthere,myself,butitwaslikeanoven
so
I'dcheckedthecouchonawhim.
Fortunately,theydidn't.
"Whataboutthegrounds?Hecouldbeoutthere."
Youngvoice,AmericanEnglish,nervous,itseemed.
"Relax,"saidtheother,older,moreconfident.TherewassomethingfaintlyEuropeaninhis
accent.AtraceofScandinavianlikeayoungMaxvonSydow."Ifhe'salreadyherehe'll
still

131

havetoshowhimselfwhenVigilarrives."
"Kempshouldbehere."
"Wekilljumpers.We'renotjumpersourselves!How'shesupposedtogetherefromNew
Jerseyintime?"
"I'djustfeelbetter.He'shadmoreexperience,right?Withgrownjumpers?AllI've
ever
dealtwitharethekids."
"Well,yesonlyRoland'sgrouphasmoreexperience."
"Christ.Roland.Nowthat'sonescarypaladin."
Theoldermanbreathedoutsharply,anexasperatedsound."Gowatchoutthebackbutbe
careful.Don'tshowyourself.Don'tscarehimoff.Hecouldapproachonfoot,butdon't
forget
heknowsthishouse.Hecouldjumpin.Thisone...ifwegethim,well,itwillreflectwell
on
us.Rolandhasbeenreadingthereportsandhe'snotpleased."
Ibarelyheardthefootstepsastheothermanmovedoff.
I'dgivethemthattheywerestealthybastards.
Onlytwoofthem.Onlytwooftheminthearea,then.They'dhavesentmoreif
there'd
beenmore.Ijusthadthatfeeling.
AllI'veeverdealtwitharethekids.Huh.Irememberedthemaninthecar,backinLechlade,
whenIwasfive.IrememberedthenightwhenIwasnine.Goafter'emwhenthey're
young
enoughandthey'reeasy.
Allright,fuckers,timetopickonsomeoneyourownsize.
ByrollingmyheadtothesideIcouldseeundertheskirtingatthebaseofthe
couch.
AcrossthecarpetIcouldjustseepartwayuphisboots,brown,softsoled,backnear
the
hallway,wherehecouldlookoutboththefrontwindowsandalsostepbackoutof
sight
whensomeoneshowedup.
Ididn'tchangepostureasIjumped,stayingdownonthefloor,jabbingtheshockstick
up
intothebackofhisthigh.Hegotoffashotbutwasunabletoaim,andthecablesand
spikes
smashedoneofthefrontwindowsashefellover.ForgoodmeasureIjabbedhimagainin
the
side,then,hearingfootsteps,Ijumpedaway,totheoldstableacrossthegraveledfrontyard.
Hedidn'tusethedoorhejumpedoutthroughthesmashedwindow,thenrolled
sideways
acrosstheporchtohisfeet.Hechargedacrosstheyardlikeawingerheadingoutofthe
scrum
forthegoal,changingdirectionsrandomlytoavoidtheopposingplayers.Hehadoneof
those
guns,thespikeandcableprojectors,ahandonthehandleandtheothercradlingthebarrel.
Itimedhim,though,andonhisnextchangeofdirection,Ijumped,jabbingwiththeshock
stick.
HisfootcaughtmeinthestomachandIwasstillrisingintheairwhenIjumpedaway.

132

IcamedownintheEmptyQuarter,stunned,unabletomove.Iwastryingtoinhalebutit
wasn'tworking.Ijabbedatmydiaphragmwithmyfingersandthenitcaught,likeamotor,
and
myfirstbreathturnedintoaraging,hackingcough.
Damn,he'sfast.
Heremindedmeofthebrownbeltwho'dtakenfirstatBirmingham.Ilookedaroundfor
theshockstickbutitwasgone,probablylyingonthegroundbackatSam'splace.
IjumpedtotheHole,stillcoughing,intendingtogetthespikegun,theoneI'dtakenfrom
MateoinLaCrucecita,butIsawthebaseballbatinstead.
Right.
Ijumpedbacktothelivingroom.Thefirstmanwasstilldown,buthewasfumblingwith
thegunhe'dopenedthebreechandwaspullingoutthespentcartridge.Anunfiredonelay
on
hisstomach,readytobeinserted.
Itookonesidewaysstepandsmashedthegunawaywiththebat,swinging
up,
underhanded.Thegunsmashedagainstthefarwallbutheneverstoppedmovingand
suddenly
therewasaknifeinhishand,likeit'dsproutedthere.
Ibroughtthebatbackdownonthereturnswing,smashingintohisextendedhand.
The
knifestuckinthefloor,quivering,andheyelled.
Theyelldidit.I'dheardthatyellbefore.
He'dbeenthere,thatnight.
I'dshothimwiththepaintballguninthebollockstwiceandI'dhithimmultipletimesin
thefacewiththebarrelofthegun.Icouldseefaintscars.
Ibackhandedhiminthefacewiththebat.Juniorwasatthedoor,thegunrising.I
rememberedwhatDadhadtoldmesolongago:Don'tletanyoneevenpointaweaponat
you.
Ijumpedtotheporch,behindhim,butthistimeIwasexpectingthefootthatlashedout
towardmeandItwistedasideasIbroughtthebatdownonthebackofhisextendedknee.
Iheardsomethingpopinthejointandhescreamed,buthestilltriedtoturn,tobringthe
guntobearthroughthedoorway,butthebatgottherefirst,smashingthebarrelupand
back
and...itwentoff.
Bothspikescameupthroughhisjaw,onerippingthroughthecarotidarteryonhis
left
side,sprayingbloodashefellback.Hislegsspasmedonce,twice,andhelaystill.
IfeltmystomachheaveandIknewIwasgoingtobesick,butthen,halfwayofftheporch,
hunchedover,Istoppedmyself.Istraightenedupandtooktwodeepbreathsthroughmy
nose,
thenturnedaroundandmademyselflook.
Hebledquitealot.Sam'sheir,thedistantcousin,hadputnewcarpetin.Hewasn'tgoing
tobehappy.
Ijumpedpastthebodyandthespreadingstain.
Theolderman,theonewho'dbeentherethatnight,wasn'tbreathing.Atrickleof
blood
ranoutofoneear.Hiseyeswerewideandstaringandonepupilwasnoticeablylarger
than

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theother.
"Good."Isaiditaloudanditechoedintheroom,louderthanIexpected,andharsher.
IswamatthebeachinOaxaca,BahiaChacacual,fightinghighersurfthanusual.
There
must'vebeenastormfarthersouth,downGuatemalaway,tosendtheseswellsnorth.I
found
myselfrubbingmyfaceunderthewaterandrealizedIwasstilltryingtogetthebloodoff.
Ifit'snotoffnow,it'snotcomingoff.Getoverit.
Ibodysurfedbacktoshoreandjumpedupintothejunglewheremyshowerswere.Itwas
alltooeasytorememberE.V.standinghere,slippery,warm,andnaked,andIcutthe
shower
short.
Hercoatstilllayatthefootofthebed.
IjumpedintoNewYorkCityatrushhourandrodethetraindowntoTrenton,walking
throughthestreetswithallthecommuters.Mr.Kelson'sbodywaslyinginstateatthe
Gruerio
FuneralHomeuntiltheservicesonSaturday.Myplanwastoleavethecoatandlet
her
discoveritbutwhentheattendantusheredmeintothechapel,shewassittingthere.
TheattendantsteppedbackoutsideandIwentuptothefrontrowandsatonthefarendof
thebench.ThecasketwasopenbutIhadnodesiretoviewthedeparted.
"Ibroughtyourcoat."
Shewaslookingatme,hereyeswide,thecomersofhermouthhookeddown.
"Won'ttheycomeback?Won'ttheyknowyou'rehere?"
Ishrugged."Itookthetrain.I'llleaveonthetrain.Iwon'tjumpfromanywherenearhere.
UnlessIhaveto."
Sheturnedawayandcoveredherfacewithbothhands.Ikeptexpectinghertosay
something,butshedidn't.
"Youcould'vetrustedme,"Ifinallysaid."Theresultwould'vebeenalmostexactlythe
same.Onlywe"
Shedidn'trespond.AfteramomentIgotupandwalkedtothedoor.
That'swhenshesaid,"I'mgladyoubroughtthecoat.Itwashis."Shejerkedher
head
towardthecasket."HenevergaveittomebutIstartedwearingitwhenitnolonger
dragged
onthefloor.Andheneversaidaword."
Itookawanderingroutebacktothestation,loopingeast,farfromherhouse,andtookthe
traintoPhiladelphia.
WhenitclankedpassedCroydon,IjumpedawaytotheHole.
Onthetrain,peopleallaround,I'dpushedforward,numb.
NowIcouldn'tevenmove.Istoodhunchedover,betweenthetableandthebed,my
mouthhalfopen.Iwasstandingwithmybacktotheplywoodgallery.
Oh.
Imademyselfturn,walkforward,andsitontheedgeofthebed.
ThelightwasalreadyonsoE.V.'sface,asI'dsketcheditinRegent'sPark,wasthere,
relaxed,innocentunmarred,unmarkedbytragedy,byhorror.Theshapeofhercollarbone,
the
dipofthesweater'sneckline,thetraceryoflaceattheedgeofherbra,theoutline
ofher

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breasts.
Andhereyes.
Thoseeyeswouldneverlookatmelikethatagain.
ItoreitintopiecesandthenItorethosepiecesandthenItorethosepieces.Iendedup
withapileofcoinsizedscrapsonthetable,flecksofartstock.Mytraitorhands
started
sortingthem,lookingforfragmentsthatmatched,likeajigsawpuzzle.
IntheEmptyQuarterImadeafireol"deadmesquiteoutinthemiddleofthewash,adding
moreandmorewooduntilitwaslikeapyre.
Whentheflamesweretallerthanme,Ithrewthefragmentsofthesketchintothefireand
watchedthemvanishalmostimmediatelyflame,ash,andthensparksdriftingintothesky.
Triangulation.
Honestyisthebestpolicy,that'swhattheysay,butitwasadisasterforme.Ishouldnever
havementionedBorrcgoSprings.ButIhadplentyofwarning.Theydrovearound
listening.
Waitingformetojumpsotheycouldfigureoutwheremylairwas.
ThesheepfarmershadstartedthrowingcoyotesdownmyshaftagainandIwas
getting
readytomakeanothervisit,thoughthistimeIwasconsideringtakingthebaseballbat.
I'djumpedtoaridgenearFishCreekcampgroundwithmybinoculars,tryingtocatchthe
KeyhoebrothersontheirATVs,whenatruckkickingupadusttrailinthewash
below
suddenlyswervedandbraked.
Isteppedbehindaboulderandtookalookwiththebinoculars.
Threemen.KempandthebigmanfromOaxacaandsomeoneIdidn'tknow.They'dfeltthe
jump.Theywerelookinguptheridge.
Iwalkedaway,downtheothersideoftheridgetowardthegypsummine.Iwas
consideringjustwalkingawayuntilIwasatleasteightmilesoutofrange,butIdidn't
know
whatdirectionthey'ddrivetheirtruck.
Andanyway,iftheywerethisclose,they'dalreadyfeltmejumpfromtheHolemultiple
times.Theywereprobablytakingbearings,triangulating.
Ijumpedaway,totheparkheadquarters,thentotheKeyhoeranch,whereI
smasheda
windowandriledupthedogs,thenjumpedawaytoNewYorkandhadahotdogin
Battery
Park.
AfterthirtyminutesIsighedheavily.
Timetomove.
OntheoutskirtsofRennesIfoundafarmerwithashedtorent.Itwasdrywithagoodroof
andastonefloorwelloffthedampgroundandhetookayear'srentincashwithoutasking
for
anIDofanykind.
"Dmuges?"
"Biensurquenonl"
Drugsindeed!
IjumpedbacktotheHoleandtransferredthewallofsketches,mydresser,andthe
weaponsI'dtakenfromthemsofar.Ilookedateverythingelsethebatteries,the
generator,

135

thelights,thebed,andthefurnitureanddecidedagainstit.Ihesitatedoverthe
shelfof
selfstudymaterials,then1shookmyhead.
IjumpedtoSanDiegoandstolesixbarbecuecanistersofpropanegasfromagas
distributorandbroughtthemback.
ThenIspentthreehoursdoingnothingbutjumpingfromoneendoftheHoletotheother
end.
Ifthebastardsdidn'tfeelthat,thenwhatgoodwerethey?
EveryhourIjumpedtothesurface,rightabovetheHole.Itwouldn'tfeelmuchdifferentto
themcomparedtounderground,unlesstheywerealreadythere,buttheyweren't.
ButIheardthemcoming.
Iwalkedaway,backintotheboulders,andmademywayupthehill.Ihadmybinoculars
andthebaseballbat,andIwasreadytoplay.
Thereweresixofthemintwodifferentallwheeldrivetrucksandwhentheyleft
the
vehiclestheyfannedoutintwogroupsofthree.Theylookedinward,towardeachother,
andI
realizeditwasawaytowatcheachother'sback,becauseifyourenemycould
materializein
yourmidst,youhadtolookeverywhere.
IwaiteduntilthetwogroupswerewellapartandtookoutoneofKemp'sgroup,smashing
hisknee,takingadvantageofhisfastreflexesandhittinghimashelashedout.
BothKempandhisotherteammatefiredtheirspikestowardme,buttheymissed
because
I'djumpedaway,andtheymissedtheirteammatebecausehe'dfallenonhisass.
IsnaggedKempbythecollarwhilehewasreloading,anddroppedhimintheHole.When
hetwistedandfiredatme,IjumpedtotheotherendofthecavewhereI'dleftmy
own
equipment.
Myspikesandcablecaughthimacrosshischestandpinnedhimtotheplywoodwall.
It
wasironic.Thatwasthesheetthatstillsaid"Sensitives"onit,thoughthesketches
werein
Francenow.
HewasstrugglingoutfromunderthecableandIwonderedifthechargewasgone.Orif
hewasjusttough.Ifiredanother,lower,acrosshisthighs,andsawhimspasm.Iput
another
acrosshischestandarms,andthenanother,shoulderhigh.
Hecarriedhisknifeinasleevesheath,amechanicalthingthatpoppeditintohishand.He
hadashockstickinhisbackpocketandsixcartridgesforhisgunintheloopsofhis
belt.I
tookhiscellphoneandhiswallet,too,andputthemonthetable.
TherewerethreedifferentIDs.NoneofthemforKemp.IguessI'dmadeittoohotforhim
underthatname.Itookajumpbacktothesurface,andthentothemetalladderleading
down
intothemine.ItstankthedeadcoyoteswerestilltherebutIdidn'tmindsomehow.
IreturnedtoKempandjabbedhimwiththeshockstick.
Oh,good.I'dbeenthinkinghehadsomesortofimmunity.Theplywood,thick,
threequarterinchstuff,flexedlikecardboard.

136

Whilehespasmed,Igotachairandstraddledit,armsrestingacrosstheback.
HistwitchinglessenedandIsaid,"Paladin.Hmph.That'sanoddnameforsomeone
who
goesaroundkillingchildren."
Ihadhisfullattentionsuddenly.Hehadn'tbeenlookingparticularlygoodbutwhenIsaid
thathewentpastywhite.
"AmInotsupposedtoknowthat?"Iaskedinnocently."WhichpartamInotsupposedto
know?Thatyouguysarepaladins?Orthatyouspendmostofyourtimeoffinglittlekids?"
Hewasstaringatmelikehe'dmadeamistake,likehe'dthoughtIwasonething,andhe'd
discoveredIwasanother."Listen,boy"
Ijabbedhiminthestomachwiththeshockstick,jumpingforwardpastthechair.
Ashewentintoanothersetofconvulsions,Iwalkedbackaroundtothechair."Wegotoff
onthewrongfoot,Ithink.Probablywhenyoukilledmyparents.MaybeyouthoughtIdidn't
like
myparentsbutIgottatellyou,youwerewrongaboutthat.ThentherewasSamand
Consuelo
...nowI'mconfused.Whydidyoukillthem?Wouldn'tithavebeenbettertoleavethem
alive,
toseeifI'dmakecontactagain?WouldRolandhavedoneitthatway?"
Hebeganthrashingagain,butitwasn'ttheshockstick.Hewastryingtogetoutof
the
cables.WasitthementionofRoland'sname?ThistimeIkickedhiminthebollocks.
"Christ,wouldyousettledown!"Ishouted.Hewashavingtroublebreathingandhe
was
makinglittlegroaningsounds.Ipointedathisgroin."Oh,yeah.Andthenyouhadto
goand
messwithmylovelife!Thatwasreallythelaststraw."
Ilookedbackoveratmybooks,theschoolwork,thenovelsIloved.
"Iusedtobeanicekid.Probablythekindofkidyou'reusedto,thekindofkidwhodies
niceandquietwhenyoushowupwithyourknivesandspikygunsandcablesandshock
sticksandall."
Ijumpedaway,backtotheothersideofthecave,whereitledouttothevertical
shaft.They'dbrokenopenthegratingandIcouldhearthemcomingdowntheladder.
IreturnedtoKempandbeganstackingthepropanetanksontopofthetable,tworowsof
three.WhenIwasdone,Iwentdowntotheotherendoftheroom,tomylittletwelvevolt
refrigerator,andtookoutapackofdinnercandles.
I'dboughtthemwithE.V.inmind,foraromanticdinner.
Ilittwoofthecandles,drippedwaxatopthefridge,andanchoredthemthere,
burning
brightly.
Romantic.
"So,doyouhaveasecretheadquarters,Kemp?Imean,someplacewhereyouguys
hang
out,shootdarts,heftafewpints,eatpaladincakes,andpracticekillinglittlekids?"
Helickedhislips."Alejandra,"hesaid.
Ikickedhimagain.Sameplace."Don'tevensayhername!"
Hewasreaching.Ihopedhewasreaching,butnomatterwhat,Iwasn'tgoingtoplaytheir
gamesanymore.
"Whydoyouguysdoit?Whyareyouafterme?Whydoyougoaroundkillingus?"

137

HelookedatmeandIsawhateandIsawfear,buthedidn'tspeakandIwassickofhitting
onhim.
Iopenedthreeofthesixpropanetankvalvesandjumpedaway,tothetopofthe
hill
above.
Icountedtoten.Foramoment,Ithoughtthecandleshadgoneout.ThenIfeltitinmyfeet,
theshock,followedbytherumble,echoingagainstthehill.
Downbelow,themineshaftopeningspatdustandsmokeand,oddly,anearperfectsmoke
ringthatspreadasitroseuntilitwasoverahundredfeetindiameter.
TheirtruckshadcrackedwindowsbuttheguyI'dinjuredfirstwasstillalive,shakenand
staringaround.
Ithoughtabouttakinghimawayandplayingwithhim,maybeextractingsomeinformation
aboutthisRolandguy,butIwastired.
Lethimexplainthistotheparkrangers.
IhadaleadonacellofthreepaladinswhooperatedaroundtheGaredeLyontrainstation
andIwasdrawingthemoutwithaseriesofjumps,figuringoutwhoweretheSensitives.
I'didentifiedoneworkingthenewskioskandanother,awaiteratLeTrainBleu,butI'dhad
noluckonthethirdanddidn'twanttomoveuntilIhad.
Iwaseatingpainauchocolatandbetweentheflakycrustalldownmyjacketandthesticky
chocolateonmyfaceandfingers,Iwasmakingarightmessofthingswhenagroupof
Spanish
touristswentbyfollowingtheirtourguide.Shewasdiscussingthehistoryofthe
stationin
perfectCastilian,butthevoicewrenchedmyheadaroundandwidenedmyeyes.
She'ddyedherhairblondandcutitshort,butitwasher,slightlythinner,justasbeautifulas
ever.
AsAlejandracamecloserIturnedaway,pullingnapkinsfrommypaperbaganddabbingat
thechocolateonmyface.Isoakedineveryword,everybitofthewarm,musicalvoice.
Iwantedtorunafterher,tograbher,toholdher.Iwantedhertoholdme.
Ididn'tturnarounduntilshewasgone.
Peoplesurroundedme,movingthroughthestationlikeschoolsoffishinareef,like
millingsheep.Meetingeachother,talking,kissing,hurryingtomakeatrain,their
thoughtson
theirdestinationsorpointsoforiginorjustdinner.
Butnotme.
Youdon'thavetodriveorwalkorevenjumptogettotheEmptyQuarter.
Sometimesitcomestoyou.
ThewaiterI'dalreadyidentifiedtalkedbrieflytoacustomerpassingoutoftherestaurant.
Thismanwanderedaroundthetrainstationforfiveminutes,watchingthetimetables,
thenabruptlywenttothenewskiosk.Thereheboughtanewspaper,andtalkedbrieflyto
theclerk,
myothersubjectonlyafewsentences,butmorethanwerenecessarytobuyapaper.
Hello,boys.
Ijumped.
TheEnd
Ver1.5Winterborn

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