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Nicholas Vo
John Kubler
English 115
15 October 2014
Power-Dynamics within Relationships
For this ethnography, I studied a couple in a dating relationship. I observed them and their
actions on a date at the movie theater. I will not be using their real names to avoid any
embarrassment. The purpose of this study is to determine the power-dynamics within the
relationship, in other words, who the dominant one is in the relationship. After observing the
couple for a good amount of time, I asked them questions to get a better understanding of who is
dominant and how that dominance affects their opinions towards sexuality. I then asked five other
couples the same questions. The questions I asked were yes-no answer questions based on the
sexualized culture we live in today. Should women be able to compete with men in sports? Are
female celebritys sexual exhibitionism in performances going too far? Should prostitution be
legalized in Los Angeles? Should female high school students be able to wear short cut-off shorts?
Is the fashion of women today objectifying them? The power-dynamics of these relationships
plays a key role in their attitudes towards sexuality.
The couple I observed was on a date at the movie theater. I will refer to the male as
James and the female as Lily. James is seventeen years old and Lily is eighteen years old.
They have been in a relationship for two years. I observed this couple for roughly twenty five to
thirty minutes. After the movie, the couple wanted to get something to eat. I noticed James was the
decision maker in the relationship. He suggested that they go eat at Panda Express, and Lily
agreed. When the couple held hands and walked together, James was always slightly in front of
Lily, in a way, leading her and pulling her to the destination he desires. When ordering their meals

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at Panda Express, James ordered for Lily, and also paid for her meal after a short argument on who
should pay for the meal. James carried Lilys food to a table in the middle of the food court. While
eating their food, Lily was talking to James and James looked as if he did not care. He would look
at her occasionally, but was more interested in what was on his phone. After they finished eating,
they went and bought yogurt at Yogurtland. Lily paid for the yogurt. They then sat down at a table
that was towards the edge of the food court. They talked and this time, James was not on his
phone.
After a couple minutes, I approached the couple and told them I was working on a school
project and politely asked if they would like to answer a few questions. After a few icebreakers, I
asked Who usually decides to go for dates? They answered, Lily. I then asked Who made the
first move? And how did they get the other person interested? They answered, James, for his
comedic behavior. Who is more dominant? They answered, Lily. Lily believes female track
athletes should be able to compete with men at the collegiate and Olympic level if they are good
enough, while James agrees, but disagrees if it was football. Men in football would hold back
because they wouldnt want to hurt the female. They both agree that males and females can fight
side-by-side in the infantry. They are both not in favor of letting women go topless on Los
Angeles beaches. Lily believes Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minajs sexual exhibitionism in
performances is not going too far because they have the goods and they can flaunt them. James
thinks it is going too far, because twerking is unattractive, yet younger kids are all doing it.
They both think female high school students should be allowed to wear short cut-off shorts to
school. They disagree with legalizing prostitution in Los Angeles. They both believe that a girl
wearing a tight-fitting microskirt on a date to a dance club or party is not degrading or objectifying
herself because that is the style today. They also believe the same thing regarding a female college

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student at a college party. They believe that what makes true love possible is understanding,
commitment, and being there for each other in times of need.
After the questionnaire, I showed them a color ad. The ad was of two, half-naked women,
one on a bed, and the other in the closet, and a man wearing a suit. They described the scene as
two women having an affair together and the man came home and discovered his wifes mistress.
They thought the female was dominant, because she was the one who cheated.
After observing the couple for an extended period of time, I interviewed five additional
couples, but only asked them the questions in the questionnaire. I will refer to these couples as
couple A, B, C, D, and F. Male/Female A will be in couple A, Male/Female B will be
in couple B, and so on. One of the five couples I interviewed was two females in a homosexual
relationship. This will be couple C. In total, I interviewed six females and four males. All of the
couples agreed that female track athletes should be able to compete with males if they were good
enough. They also all disagreed with allowing topless women on Los Angeles beaches and the
legalization of prostitution in Los Angeles, except for one male who believed prostitution should
be legalized in Los Angeles. All of the couples had similar answers to what makes true love
possible in relationships. Their answers consisted of communication, understanding, being
comfortable with one another, and being faithful.
Out of the five relationships, three of them were female dominant (one being the
homosexual relationship). Out of those four females, only female A saw Miley Cyrus and Nicki
Minajs sexual exhibitionism as going too far. Female A saw them as attention seekers and their
actions greatly influenced younger kids. On the other hand, the other females saw them as selfexpressive and powerful. Only female B believed women shouldnt fight side by side with men in
the infantry because women are more like caretakers. The others believed females should have
equal opportunities with men. All the females saw microskirts as sexy and trendy. All of the

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females interpreted the ad as a woman cheating on her husband with another woman. Only female
A interpreted the ad to be male dominant. Female B and C others saw it as female dominance.
Out of the males in the female dominant relationships, they both agreed that women should
be able to fight side-by-side with males in the infantry. Male A viewed Miley Cyrus and Nicki
Minajs performances as going too far because the celebrities want to be controversial, while the
male B viewed their performances as educational. He stated Sex Ed starts at home. Male A
disagreed with girls being able to wear short cut-off shorts at school while male B believed they
should be able to. Male B also believed prostitution should be legalized in Los Angeles. Both male
A and B saw microskirts as trendy. Both males also viewed the ad as male dominant.
In the two male dominant relationships (couples D and F), the two females viewed Miley
Cyrus and Nicki Minajs sexual exhibitionism as going too far. They both saw them as degrading
and setting a bad image for all women. The males agreed. They also believed women should be
able to fight side-by-side in the infantry. They view women who wear microskirts as attention
cravers and that they wear them to gain extra attention from men. They also saw the ad as male
dominant. The males in couples D and F agreed with their partners.
After gathering all this data, there was one question that needed to be answered. Is there a
correlation between the power-dynamics in these relationships and their answers to these
questions? In the linkage between the power-dynamics of the relationship and the interpretation of
the visual ad, more female dominant relationships viewed it as female dominant. The male
dominant relationships saw it as male dominant. The dominance in the relationship does play a
key role in the interpretation of the ad.
In regards to the sexual behavior of celebrities, the female dominant relationships were
split down the middle. Half approved while the other half disapproved. In both male dominant
relationships, the couples disapproved with the sexual exhibitionism of these female celebrities. It

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is difficult to conclude whether power-dynamics played a role in the opinions of the couples on
sexual behavior.
There was a clear majority in the couples opinions towards equal rights and gender
equality. All of the couples agreed that a women can compete with men if she is as skillful as or
better than the men. Only one individual believed women should not serve side-by-side with men
in the infantry. She was in a female dominant relationship which is surprising. Other than that,
power-dynamics did not seem to play a vital role in their opinions.
All of the couples had similar answers to the question What make true love possible in
your relationship today? All of their answers are traits that are required in all relationships in
order for them to be long lasting.
After gathering all of my data and analyzing it, I believe there is no correlation between
power-dynamics in a relationship and their opinions. All of the individuals I interviewed have
their own opinions and they will share them regardless of what their partner believes or whatever
the dominant individual believes. All the individuals also shared common values such as equal
rights and opportunities for all genders, prostitution not being legalized in Los Angeles, and not
having women walk around topless on Los Angeles beaches. They all saw these as unfair
treatment, or indecent. When observing the couple, I noticed the male, James, tried to appear
dominant when others were around. He acted as if he did not care, but when he was alone with
Lily, he was very caring and attentive. Dominance could possibly be an act. A way for an
individual to prove they are big. Or it could truly be dominance. In relationships today, it is
difficult to determine who the dominant figure in the relationship is or if the dominant figure is
simply acting.

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