I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far

, but I think it s a very poor scheme for survival.

As quoted in The Observer, 1987
A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever
is around to be loved.
from The Sirens of Titan
It strikes me as gruesome and comical that in our culture we have an expectat
ion that man can always solve his problems
This is so untrue that it makes me wa
nt to cry or laugh.
from Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
fro
m Mother Night
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laught
er can be said to remedy anything.
from Cat s Cradle
Why were so many Americans treated by their government as though their lives
were as disposable as facial tissues? Because that was the way authors customari
ly treated bit-part players in their made-up tales.
from Breakfast of Champions
I don t know about you, but I practice a disorganized religion. I belong to an
unholy disorder. We call ourselves Our Lady of Perpetual Astonishment .
from Worship
All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
from Timequake
I think it can be tremendously refreshing if a creator of literature has some
thing on his mind other than the history of literature so far. Literature should
not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak.
from a self-interview in The Paris
Review
There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of a
nything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope
that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.
from The Sirens of Titan
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on televis
ion, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
from Cold Turk
ey, In These Times