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Philip Paek
Professor Greenberg
CE131
September 25, 2011

A Personal Manifesto for Christian Liberal Arts Learning

The main lesson that God has been teaching me upon my entrance into a new
community here at Wheaton College is the need to rid myself of the selfishness that
dictates so many aspects of my life. God showed that this selfishness had a hold in my
relationships with my peers and family, in my studies as I pursue a higher education, and
even in my relationship with God that continues to grow as I learn more about him. There
are so many important aspects of my life that I need to revise in order to fully surrender
to Him as I come to Wheaton, and it all starts out with a selfless and genuine devotion to
God.
As I look forward to the next four years that I will be spending at Wheaton, I am
so excited for what is in store for me, for how I will grow, and for all the new experiences
I will have. But I long to do all these things with a sincere heart. In my first few weeks at
Wheaton College, I noticed something that didnt quite match what I had initially
expected before coming to this campus. Though it was a bit nave, there was some
preconceived notion in the back of my head expecting that since I was coming to a
college like Wheaton where faith and academics are so seamlessly integrated, the
spiritual portion of my life would take care of itself. It was mandatory for me to attend

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chapel three times a week and I also had a mandatory BITH course to take. All these
aspects caught me off guard and my selfish desires somewhat made me neglect these
things. I was simply going through the motions of being a Christian without much
intention. But God politely slapped me across the head and led me to read Matthew 6
during one of my quiet times. As Jesus introduces the Lords prayer, He says, And when
you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues
and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their
reward in full (Matthew 6:5). The Lord impressed upon my heart the need to be sincere
in all that I do. In essence, this verse was a wake up call for me to accompany my faith
that led me to come to Wheaton in the first place with action genuine action. Not for me
to be seen by others but really to seek true fellowship with God, to be a Christian not by
label but by practice.
As God taught me this lesson on sincerity, he nudged me to apply this onto the
way I view the next four years of my college career here at Wheaton. This began with
something physically close to my heart relationships. Growing up as a missionary kid, I
had grown to be very picky over the people I surrounded myself with during my high
school years. I was very exclusive and at many times I chose to isolate myself to
emphasize my individuality. This led to many surface relationships where I knew many
people but was only able to form close relationships with a small handful of them.
However, a reoccurring theme during passage and in my classes here at Wheaton College
that God revealed to me was community. The emphasis on maintaining quality
relationships and good community really left a lingering impression upon my heart. In the
passage workbook, John Ortberg writes about community and loneliness. He says, We

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were made to know oneness. That is why loneliness is so painful, and later on continues
saying, God creates inside man a kind of human-shaped void that God himself will not
fill. Through the readings at Passage, meeting so many other freshmen that were all so
accepting, and reflecting back at my own life, I knew what God wanted for me. Naturally,
I am a bit of an introvert, so it wasnt a call for me to go and make as many new friends
as I could remember the names of, but it was a call for sincerity -- a call for me to be
more intentional in the relationships that I form. And even if that required me to surround
myself with a small number of genuine friends that I can really turn everything to, I
wanted to be able to really lift these relationships up to God and share in the love of the
trinity.
Also, going hand in hand with the idea of relationships and community, I desire to
be more Christ-like and obtain a heart of acceptance. I need to stray away from becoming
a judgmental person and push towards giving grace and being accepting of everyone,
regardless of their background or the first impression I have of them. I want to be able to
love like God loved me and be able to do it sincerely.
Next, I want to be genuine in the aspects of my faith. I want to hunger for God
with intensity as I actively pursue consistency in my spiritual walk and learn to manage
my time away from things that hinder me. I want to know God as intimates and attempt
to be more Christ-like in all that I do. The goal of Christian spirituality is not
information, it is transformation into the likeness of Christ (Ortberg). Like Ortberg
writes, I want to train myself in spiritual disciplines, making myself more consistent in
the little things like praying, meditating, and generally seeking more fellowship with
God. But once again, I aim to have the right heart while doing these things.

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A few weeks ago during a small group, a friend of mine shared that if you go into
every quiet time and time of prayer with the intention of getting something out of it, even
to grow spiritually, you are doing it out of selfish ambitions. He compared it to spending
time with a friend and doing nothing just for the camaraderie of it all rather than trying to
get something out of the friendship. Your time with God should be spent seeking pure
fellowship with him, even if you dont get anything out of it. His analogy really rebuked
me, as once again the selfishness of the human heart was revealed to me. So many times,
the mentality of daily bible readings or prayer meetings are to better oneself for Christ.
And though the intentions may seem pure, the action in reality is selfish to the point
where it was just ignorant. I want to use that as a guideline, and really seek fellowship
and the love of the trinity through my personal relationship with Christ.
In addition to this, sincerity also comes in the act of service. As I strive to be more
Christ-like in my actions, it leads me to a familiar passage in Philippians. It reads, your
attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did
not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant (Philippians 2:5-7). In the Passage workbook, we
read that, When Jesus came in the form of a servant, he was not disguising who God is.
He was revealing who God is. At Honeyrock, our small group discussed what qualities
we looked for in a leader, and a willingness to serve was brought up. During high school,
I served as the leader of my youth groups welcoming crew for three years. Even then,
God constantly taught me about leadership stemming from the willingness to have the
heart of the servant. In addition, the past few months for me have been full of service as I
served for 3 weeks on a short-term mission trip to Ecuador and did service projects at

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Honeyrock and Orientation. And once again, through this obedience, we see the
selflessness that is necessary for service as it is so easy to have a selfish mentality and
look for the easy way out of things. As God leads me to serve his kingdom at Wheaton
and in the world through whatever way, I hope to be selfless and sincere as I serve.
However, none of this will be easy, as the differences of college to high school are
already beginning to hit me. In order for me to be a whole and effective student as well as
a Christian, it is essential for me to overcome some barriers like time management that
always seemed to get in the way even in high school. I need to learn how to manage and
juggle my social life, spiritual life, and my academics. A quick first habit that I did try to
learn from the readings was in James Bryant Smiths Embracing the Love of God, where
he shares that one thing you can do is care for yourself. Smith mentioned maintaining a
good sleep life so that you would be fully functional in life, and though I dont mean
excessively, I believe it is an important part of maintaining all aspects of my life by
caring for myself. In addition, it is essential that I prioritize my studies and set aside time
for having a social life and studying. With commitments in different clubs, churches, and
intramural sports, there will be struggle, but I want to be willing to strive for more these
next four years as I make the most out of the next episode in my life that God has placed
before me.
As a Communications Major with an emphasis in Media Studies, one of my last
goals is to live out the motto of the school, For Christ and His Kingdom. I want to be
able to use whatever medium in film and art to be able to assist marginalized people who
struggle from social injustices in various parts of the world. God led me through a life
where I was exposed to so much as a missionarys kid. With my own eyes, I witnessed

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racial injustice in Indonesia, the widowed and orphaned in Ecuador, and the homeless of
Skid Row. As I strive for more sincerity and selflessness in my life, I want to be able to
keep sight of the conviction that God placed in my heart to serve the people of this world
and His kingdom through the work that I do the next four years. Treating my major and
my future as a service for the kingdom of God. I want to be able to really lift up my
academics in this sense to God as I continue to keep it in my prayers, and really remain
genuine about this passion that God instilled in my heart.
Finally, I want to let go of all selfish ambitions in my heart, beginning with my
habits of being a perfectionist in so many things that I look for. This has not only been a
common theme recently, but throughout my entire life. My life verse states, For me, to
live is Christ and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21) As God has showed me countless
times, I live for him, not myself, and if I cant have things my way, I need to be able to
recognize that God has a plan for me. Therefore, even as I make this transition to college,
to a new church, to new friends, and even to this new self that I am committing to from
now, I want to be selfless and trust entirely on God.
So ultimately, it boils down to this: As I transition into the life of a college student, I
will seek to become a more whole and effective Christian through striving to become
more selfless and sincere. Whether it is through my social life and the things that I do
with my friends here at Wheaton College or even at home, the time that I spend by
myself as I seek to strengthen my relationship with God through my personal quiet times,
or all the extra time I have as I seek to manage my time and academics, I want to be able
to do it with a sincere heart for Christ and His Kingdom. For I know that God has a
plan for me, and as I spend the next four years learning what God has to teach me,

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developing a worldview of my own, and meeting so many new faces that God has already
planned for me to meet, I want to be able to say: God, its not about me. But its all
about you.